Spinning Yarns
by gusenitsa
Summary: Latest CS short story: "Let's Have Dinner" Between the episodes style canon divergence between 5x02 and 5x03 partly inspired by BBC's Sherlock. CS angst. (I mean... 5x02... what do you expect)
1. The Kraken

_**4/2016: Well it's been an awful long time since I looked at this tale. The one that started it all! I think perhaps some of these early chapters could use a fresh eye now that I've been doing this a while. I won't be changing any major plot points or adding new information but just cleaning up the style.**_

* * *

**The Kraken**

"Perhaps he doesn't remember," Robin suggested with a smirk. "Drunken night on the town gone awry? Fell off his own boat, or something of the like."

"I'll have you know that I have never once been too drunk to get back to my boat." Killian paused a moment, "that's what crew are for!"

"Cheers to that," Robin called raising his glass in response.

"Come on," David insisted, "I told you about how I got knocked out repeatedly by my own wife, does fair play mean nothing to you pirate?"

"Well aren't you charming today?"

"That's what my wife tells me," David retorted, with a sly smile that told everyone he was going to have quite the headache in the morning.

"Besides," Hook continued, ignoring the prince's outburst, "there are ladies present." He glanced sideways down the bar to where Emma sat with Ruby a few seats away. "Wouldn't want to harm their delicate sensibilities."

"You must be talking about the Princess," Ruby scoffed, "cause there's nothing delicate about a wolf."

"This Princess is going to kick both of your asses if you don't watch out," Emma glared at the pirate defiantly. "Besides, I'm with Robin. I think you're so old you don't even remember." Her lip twitched slightly upward as she mocked him and Hook made no attempt to hide the way he glanced down at it.

"I'm not old, darling, one day perhaps I'll show you just how vigorous I ca..."

"HEY!" David cut in jumping up and almost falling over the stool in his haste, "That's my daughter!"

"Is it now? I had no idea." Hook laughed and then continued, "All right, mate, sit down. Forgive me the insult to your lovely..." he paused and leaned toward Emma, "... princess and I'll tell you the story of the scar on my cheek. Though I suspect you won't remember the tale in the morning anyway."

Charming glared for a moment but then started laughing and sat back down, the distraction apparently forgotten already as Robin placed another round in front of him.

"It was years ago..."

"Wasn't everything..." Emma interrupted.

Hook turned towards her, "Now now, my lass, no need to conceal how you ache to know the story behind my vast...experience."

"The only thing I ache for is to punch your lights out," Emma grumbled.

"In my experience, it's more fun with the lights on."

"You are a pirate," Emma murmured contemplatively. "Isn't most of your experience with men?"

Robin didn't even bother trying to hide his bark of laughter. "Are we going to be getting a story anytime soon or are you two going to continue sparring all night?"

"If I've a say in the matter..." Killian started.

"You don't," Emma said, fighting the half smile that was growing on her lips.

"Then by your leave, my lady, I'll continue. The lads are expecting a story and your father will catch up with this conversation any moment now."

Emma glanced over at David who did indeed seem a little behind. Finally giving in to the smile she gave him a curt nod of agreement.

"In my travels we were once in unfamiliar waters when we were set upon by what we believed to be a giant sea creature of some kind. With stout hearts my men prepared for the monster to come within range of harpoons. But in an explosion of water we were greeted not by an animal but by some manner of ship, which sails not upon the water but below it. Its Captain was a tall, composed man who introduced himself by the name of Prince Dakkar."

Emma sputtered, choking on her drink. David thumped her on the back and several minutes later she regained her composure and opened her mouth to speak. Then appearing to think better of it she just rolled her eyes and said, "Never mind."

"His ship could travel under the water?" Robin broke in, a step behind.

"Oh yes, it's incredible." Emma replied, eyes glittering with mischief. "Moves like a fish through the water."

Hook eyed her in curiosity for a moment before continuing. "Prince Dakkar was a fascinating man, but unfortunately for my crew and myself, we came to realize that as dignified a man as this Prince was, we had invaded his waters. For that crime he wished to lay claim to my ship."

"Why would he want that old thing when he had a submarine?" David drawled.

Hook's eyes widened and Emma chuckled.

"I'll let that pass, mate, as you are not in your right mind."

"My ship, as you well know," Hook redirected, glaring at the group, "is made of enchanted wood and is quite the marvel in any world she traverses. Dakkar was something of a collector. He wished to discover her secrets. He tried to convince myself and my crew that there was no need for bloodshed. Told me I needn't 'burden my heart with the demise of my crew.' Needless to say I disagreed."

Robin chuckled slightly, raising his glass in a mock toast.

"His crew was numerous and they overran our ship in moments, but before there was time to shed even a single drop of blood, the sea became agitated once more. The Captain became mad with fury ordering his men back to their stations. Suddenly the entire ship shook with a giant impact as something slammed into her hull. Men flew, but none met the sea's embrace just yet. I of course, demanded the strange captain tell me what the bloody hell was trying to destroy my ship.

" 'A monstrous cephalopod', he told me, and advised that I have my crew draw blades. The wood began to creek and the ship list as massive pale arms grasped the hull."

"'A squid?' I cried to the captain, 'why the bloody hell is a squid trying to eat my ship'?" Hook was getting into the story now, waving his hand emphatically as he spoke. Robin and David listened enthralled. " 'As you have invaded my waters, I have invaded his' the captain told me."

"Such a creature truly exists?" Davis asked.

"In that world it did," Hook replied, tone grave. "The monster clasped the ship tightly and the combined crews tried valiantly to dislodge it, but the ship was being crushed and was taking on water. With it's arms flying everywhere it clasped one of Dakkar's men and crushed him, drawing him into the ocean as it did so. Dakkar was furious and struck the creature violently to no avail."

Hook dropped his tone conspiratorially. "Now I knew, mates, that we hadn't long before we all found our final rest in the sea. So I grabbed one of the mens spears and several swords. I placed the swords under my arms and between my legs so the creature could not crush me and jumped up to the side of the ship. I called to the creature, who apparently took offense to being called 'bloody oversized calamari'. One of it's massive arms grabbed me, but was unable to crush me to death due to the blades surrounding my person. It squeezed tightly enough though that one of the blades became dislodged from under my arm and began to be pushed up towards my throat. It tightened it's grip slowly, starving my lungs of oxygen and pushing that sword ever closer until I thought I might drown without touching the ocean. The blade began to dig into my cheek... "

Hook stopped abruptly and took a swig of his beer. "And that's how I got the scar," he said leaning back and finishing his drink in a long pull.

"That's it?" Robin asked, both men were leaning forward in curiosity.

David looked irritated, "but what happened to the calamari?"

"You only asked about the scar, mate."

"Finish the story, pirate, or I swear I'll..." David swayed a bit on his feet and Hook pushed him back onto the stool. "All right. No need to get so excited! Where were we?"

"Being dragged into the water by the giant squid!" Ruby said eagerly.

"So, the creature seeks to pull me into the ocean with the unlucky sailer who preceded me. I tried to take a breath as the cold water surrounded me but the creature held me too tightly. I fought to keep my eyes open until finally I was close enough to jam the spear into the creatures great eye and it recoiled, pulling me with it as it sank back into the depths; pressing the blade further into my skin as it fell.

The salt water stung my eyes and my wounds but I knew that if I was to drown I wanted to do it properly, with the sea in my lungs, not in the embrace of a pale monster. So I forced the blade away from myself until I got it free. Then I began to cut away at the creatures arm as we sank into the depths. When I was finally free I could barely see the sun above me and my lungs were already crushed and empty. But I could see the shadow of the ship and I swam for my life. It hardly seemed that I was getting any closer to the surface, even as I swam closer to the light my eyes were dimming. I began to wander if I was even approaching the surface or if I was being dragged into the depths for good."

"And in that moment," Emma interrupted, "you realized that a sailer really should not wear so much leather!"

"Emma!" Her father chastised in his best scolding father tone. "Be quiet, I want to know what happens next."

"He probably didn't drown," Emma grumbled.

"See what I have to deal with," Hook told David with a sigh, and to Emma's annoyance David nodded agreeably. She opened her mouth to retort but Hook continued before she could.

"When I finally broke the surface, I could hear the crew's of both ships crying out in elation. Once I was back on board, Dakar determined that he could hardly steal the ship of a man that had saved both his and his crew's life. So he took his men back to their ship and descended back into the depths they had emerged from." He gave a small bow, "and that, is how I got my scar."

Robin and David were staring at Hook with eyes slightly agape.

"That's a hell of a tale," Robin said

"Yeah," David agreed. "That's ..." but he trailed off and Robin laughed.

"I think it's time to get our Prince home."

Hook nodded and Robin helped David off the stool as they began to stumble home.

"Wait up," Ruby called. "It'll take you forever to walk with him. I'm fine to drive. Emma, I'll come pick you up later?"

"It's ok, Ruby." Emma said. "I'm good, I'll walk."

"Ok, Em, see you tomorrow."

As she left Emma turned back towards Hook who was watching her carefully. "What did you think of my daring tale, lass?" he asked curiously.

"I think you're a very creative liar."

Hook looked shocked, "Why would you say such a thing, love?"

"Superpower, remember. That may have been a good story, but it was not the truth."

Hook watched her carefully, his lip twitching in amusement. "Perhaps the tale was...slightly exaggerated."

"Did you actually meet a Prince Dakar?"

She had finished her drink now and the two walked out into the street.

"That I did, and he was just as I described him."

"But that's not how you got that scar?" Emma watched him carefully, "How did you really get it?"

Hook looked away, embarrassment in his eyes and Emma laughed.

"It's gotta be good, if it's got you blushing."

"I do not blush, Swan. It may be wrong to lie to protect a woman's honor but you caught me Swan, so here's the real story. See there was this lass. No need to be jealous," he said when she raised her eyebrows at him, "I've sworn off any but princesses that can defeat me in a duel. But this lass was a pretty little thing. Sea green eyes and hair fiery as the setting sun. Free spirit she was, and flexible as they come ... but after a couple nights I learned she had a fiery husband to match. He walked in on some very creative ..."

"Nope."

"Seriously, Swan?"

"You can't lie to me Hook, but I find it interesting you're so hesitant to tell the truth about it." She smiled and brushed a strand of hair out of her face stopping abruptly to face him. Suddenly her eyes lit up and she laughed. "I've got you."

"Do you, love?" His tone was teasing but there was a nervousness in his eyes now.

"I know how you got that scar," she teased.

"Well it appears you won't believe anything that I say, so why not make up your own story."

She laughed again, "You scratched yourself didn't you!" she said, eying his hook.

"Of all the adventures I've been on, in hundreds of years of wandering, why is it so hard for you to imagine that ..."

"Hook," she chastised.

He sighed.

"Fine you win, you little minx. Bloody hook takes some getting used to. Right after my hand was taken I did all manner of damage to myself forgetting it was gone..."

Emma laughed again, "Now that's a good story."

* * *

**AN: To this day this is still my personal head canon for that scar! Do have a scar ****head canon?**


	2. A Limited Engagement?

_**AN: OK, so people keep talking about engagement and a possible CS wedding...and I just have to say it seems really unlikely to me. But who can deny those pictures and that ring (not to mention that chemistry)...so... here's a story of what I think is a little more likely way for things to pan out! **_

_**4/2016 Edited for style (not content)**_

* * *

_A Limited Engagement_

"This is ... really really ... weird," Emma said glancing around her.

"One of these days you're going to realize that it's not, as you so eloquently put it, _weird..._ if it's normal."

"We are chasing the Wicked Witch through time because she's decided to break up my parents, Hook... _before_ I was born. Yeah, this is totally normal."

He shrugged, "Sounds about right to me."

Emma rolled her eyes, "I should have come alone. We're not even sure If I am powerful enough to get us back. Rumpelstiltskin did all the heavy lifting to get us here."

"That was never going to happen. I do believe I've made it abundantly clear that I've a vested interest in your continued existence, Princess."

"Do I look like a Princess, Hook?"

"To me you do," he replied without a moments hesitation.

"Yeah well to everyone else I'm wearing ratty dress," Emma grumbled. "Come on we have to find my parents. We don't even know what she changed..."

"Yes, I do believe we have a date at a troll bridge."

Emma led the way down the road towards where she thought the troll bridge might be, though she wasn't exactly sure what she planned on doing once she arrived there. Before they got anywhere near the bridge however the sounds of hooves from behind them made them turn. Hook reached for his sword but Emma put out a hand to stop him.

"Let's not make a bad first impression?"

"Of course. We'll have to come up with a story then, young lovers perhaps?"

"That didn't take you long," Emma grumbled. The hooves drew closer and Emma finished hurriedly. "No, you stole from me and I'm not letting you out of my sight until I get it back."

"How very ... familiar."

"Well, we are supposed to be relatable," she responded, but before they could continue the conversation the rider came into view. The rider slowed as he drew near then stopped, jumping off the horse and sending the creature flying on down the road.

Before they could react the rider barreled into them pushing them out of the road. Hook was about to draw his sword when he realized Swan was not doing the same. She was staring at the figure mouth slightly agape. Redirecting his attention to the rider he saw none other than Snow White.

"We have to get off the road," she demanded, "_Now_."

Pushing them farther from the road they hid in the forest as more riders passed by on the road, chasing the now riderless horse.

* * *

Danger passed, Snow looked at them appraisingly. Emma seemed slightly dumbstruck so Hook stepped forward. "It appears we owe you gratitude, milady. What pray tell, have you saved us from?"

"The Queen's riders. She's not fond of strangers. And you are not from around here..."

"And how do you know where we come from?" he asked, curiously

"I know everyone in this forest. Will I regret saving you?"

"Most certainly not. My name is Killian Jones and this is Emma Swan, you are correct we are travelers, new to this land."

Snow turned her attention to Emma as they walked.

"Emma...That's... That's actually one of my favorite names."

"I know." Emma responded without thinking, before correcting herself quickly, "I mean, I like it too. My mother had good taste in names, I guess...So who are you running from. Have a run in with one of the riders?"

"At the moment... I suppose I am running from both the Queen and Prince _Charming," _she spat, her tone filled with obvious irritation. "I know these woods better than anyone, I can keep you out of the Queen's hands for a while."

"Why do they want to capture you?" Emma asked, finally getting oriented and trying to determine what had changed.

"I ruined the Queen's life," she shrugged. "And Charming... He's just a traitor."

Killian raised his eyebrows. "With such a Moniker as that, he sounds like a man of honor."

"Would a man of honor go back on an agreement and turn you over to your enemies?"

"That would indeed be poor form," Hook agreed.

"So what's your story..." Snow asked, "this is an interesting choice as a honeymoon spot?"

Emma gaped. "Not likely. This _pirate_ stole my savings and I'm not taking my eyes off him until he returns it to me."

"Unfortunately" Killian quipped, "the lady forgets how much I enjoy having her eyes on me,"

Emma spun on him, "You lost it in a game didn't you? I swear if you don't return it to me..."

"I happen to be a very good gambler," Hook protested, "still everyone's entitled to a bad day or two."

"We'll at least he didn't try to sell you to those that would rip your heart out," Snow said bitterly.

"Why would he do such a thing, is he struggling to eat?" Killian asked.

"Struggling to feed his fiancés taste in jewelry perhaps."

"How do you know that he sold you to them?" Emma asked.

"We parted company on good terms, or so I thought. Then suddenly the Queen's guards knew exactly where I made camp. That's no coincidence."

"Hardly a solid case," Emma muttered.

Snow turned towards her suspiciously, "did he send you to find my new campsite?"

"No...no, I've just been thrown under the bus before..."

Snow glanced at her confusedly then turned and pointed and Emma sighed in relief that she didn't push the subject. "Here, it's just beyond this ridge. It's not exactly a castle, but it's good ground and we'll be safe here until morning."

When Snow disappeared into the forest to collect water Killian finally moved closer to Emma. "She's got some spite, that one... What are we going to do about it? We can't exactly tell her that he would never do that."

"Perhaps she needs a more indirect approach. She's a sucker for a love story. Maybe we just tell her that we've heard of her _Charming_."

"Oh it will need to be more than a story, darling," Killian said.

"What do you mean?" Emma asked..

"What she needs is an example, aye?" There was a teasing look in his eyes now and Emma watched him suspiciously. " I think you are going to let me win your affections...and we're going to show her that true love conquers all."

"Of course we are," Emma sighed. "I don't think I like this plan."

"Got a better one, Princess?"

Snow would be back soon and Emma had to admit she had no clear idea herself of how to fix this, "Fine," she said finally, "but I think I better make it clear how much I despise you first."

"What do you...ow _bloody hell._" he cried falling backwards, his lip split and bleeding.

"What was that about?" Snow came running from the edge of the clearing.

"He's a pirate fiend," Emma spat, shaking her hand out. "trust me, he deserved it." She turned back to Killian who was wiping a spot of blood from his lip and looking at her a little too appreciatively for someone who had just been punched in the face. "Do you know what that money was for _pirate, _I have a son! That was going to be my ride out of here, back to him."

"Swan...come now love, I didn't mean any harm."

Snow grabbed Emma as Emma moved to throw herself at Hook again. "So you just... accidentally stole my life savings!?"

"You think I wanted to live like this, Swan?" He shot back taking a step closer to her. "My particular skill set doesn't have a whole lot of honest applications once your own king murders your only family. I can never go back home, and if I did, No one would be there waiting for me. My crew is the only family I have left, and I provide for my family the only way I know how."

Emma's jaw dropped and the energy between them crackled like electricity.

"I... I didn't know," she finally got out.

"Sometimes situations aren't what they seem..." Raising his good hand to her cheek he brushed a strand of hair away. "But I'm going to make this right Emma, I promised you that."

Snow crossed her arms, "This is touching, really, but if you don't mind, perhaps you could try not to get the attention of every one of the Queen's men within 10 miles?"

"Apologies, milady, we've had to work out a few things, but perhaps," he glanced hopefully at Emma, "Perhaps the worst is behind us?"

"If you try to trick me..."

"I am a man of my word, Emma."

* * *

They settled down for the night, but several hours later Killian woke to the sound of soft footsteps near camp. He sat up, and soon realized it was only Snow, pacing nervously at the edge of camp.

"Restless, milady?"

Snow turned toward him as he approached, then leaned against a tree facing him.

"Just angry. I trusted him..."

"If you don't mind my saying, even though we have only known each other for a brief time, you seem an excellent judge of character."

"Usually."

"So why did you trust him?"

"Because I was stupid.. I was caught up in the ..."

"I don't think so," Killian interrupted.

"What?"

"I don't mean to upset you, milady, but if you thought he was trustworthy once...perhaps he still is."

"Then why would he-"

"Look at myself and my lady. Twenty-four hours ago she hated me with a passion, because she didn't know the whole of what had happened."

"Didn't you hate her too?" Snow asked curiously, "I mean she did give you a pretty good one there," Snow indicated the bruise that had bloomed on his jaw.

"Gods no," he let his eyes drift to where Emma was 'sleeping.' "I've never hated Emma Swan."

Snow looked at him curiously for a moment before a small smile graced her face. "You're in love with her?"

Killian smiled. "I told you that you were a good judge of character. I've been in love with that woman for a long time, milady, but she thinks I'm a villain. She thinks that she knows who I truly am...and it's not a man she can let herself love."

"I'm sorry." Snow whispered sadly. "It must be difficult to spend so much time with her then?"

"I can't give up hope that one day she will see me for the man I truly am."

"Do you really think... that perhaps I've misjudged my situation?"

"I would not be surprised to learn that your initial evaluation was accurate. You have incomplete information, however damning it may appear. Don't give up hope, milady."

Killian turned and returned to his place, a small smile on his lips. That should keep her busy for a while.

* * *

The morning dawned brisk and cold and they quickly gathered their supplies. Snow did not want to linger more than a day or two in anyone place before moving on.

"I'm moving closer to the troll bridge," Snow informed them, "It makes her guards nervous, and for good reason. You are welcome to join me until you decide where your path will take you."

"I think that would be a good idea," Emma said, "If we won't be in your way. We don't know these woods half so well as you do."

"This way then," it was half a day's hike and Emma talked with Killian easily most of the way. Occasionally he would say something that would remind her that she was supposed to be in character and she would have to adjust her responses accordingly. Once while Snow was distracted he leaned into her ear. "Surely my company isn't such a wound to you? You're supposed to be falling in love with me, remember. I suggest a giggle."

Emma Swan did not giggle.

Except she did, but she made a mental note to murder him for this later.

Snow smiled to herself when she saw the two laughing and talking. Thinking herself to be privy to Killian's secret made her happy to see he was making some progress with the woman he loved. It took most of the day to reach their new campsite and it was growing dark when Snow finally stopped.

"This is as close as I dare go," she said, dropping her bag under a tree. "We'll need to keep constant look out. The trolls are nasty creatures but they'll keep the Queen's guards at bay."

Emma nodded and they began to set up camp. They didn't dare light a fire this close to the bridge, lest it draw attention to them, so Snow provided them with dried meat and she and Emma picked berries from the surrounding forest while Hook kept watch over the camp.

"The pirate," Snow asked, as they worked. "It seems like he is growing on you?"

Emma bit back her instinctive response and replaced it with what she hoped was a slightly embarrassed looking smile. "He's ... he's not what he seemed."

"II think he really does intend to make things better."

"I hope so."

Darkness overcame them faster than Emma was expecting and she had to admit she could not identify all of the noises this forest made at night... that made her a little uncomfortable. By the time they made it back to camp Killian looked agitated. As they emerged into the clearing Killian raced to Emma's side sweeping her up in a tight embrace.

"There you are! It got dark and I feared something may have happened to you. I know you're not used to being alone in the woods like this." Emma grimaced, knowing he had added that last bit just to irritate her.

Instead of doing what she wanted (which would have resulted in him moaning in pain on the ground) she let him hold her and muttered soothingly, "It's all right, I'm fine."

Killian took advantage of his opportunity shamelessly, holding Emma tight and breathing in the scent of her hair as he held her. Emma continued murmuring comforting things until finally she leaned forward and whispered in his ear. "Don't push it, I swear I will hurt you."

Killian took the not-so-subtle hint and released her, turning back to Snow, "There have been sounds from the edge of camp... I'm not certain we're alone."

Snow nodded, "We should take watches. I'll wake you in 4 hours."

Emma settled down at the base of a tree, hands a little shaky from the chill. Killian sat next to her, draping his coat over her shoulders and wrapping an arm around her. For once she was glad of the pretense that allowed her to soak up the warmth and comfort of his presence without thinking about what it meant. She drifted off quickly, lulled into sleep by the warmth of his arms and the beating of his heart. She didn't wake until suddenly a yell ripped through the forest. Shaking her groggy mind awake she started...it sounded like Hook. She looked around rapidly but he was no where to be seen. His coat was still wrapped snugly around her and the morning light was just barely starting to color the surroundings.

Snow was already up, pulling Emma to her feet. "He was on watch, something must have surprised him."

The suspicion was confirmed by a sudden clang of metal on metal and what sounded like growling. Emma and Snow drew swords and raced for the source of the sound. It was hard to see through the clearing but the stars were bright enough that she could see the flash of his Hook meeting a blade in front of him. Apparently he had seen fit to replace the fake hand for watch...and it was a good thing."

"Trolls," Snow warned. "Be careful."

Snow and Emma engaged, drawing some of the creatures away from Hook.

Another cry distracted Emma and she watched as one of the troll's blades snuck under Hook's guard and sliced open his tunic.

"Killian!" she called in horror. Hook clenched his hooked arm over the gash and nodded at her that he was fine, but as he looked up at her his eyes widened.

"Swan!" he warned a moment too late. A knife blade snaked around her throat and pulled tight. A gruff voice then called threateningly, "drop your blade or watch her bleed out right here." Hook froze, Snow following suit slowly.

"You again," the troll said to Snow, "you turned our brothers into insects! How dare you come to our land again."

Killian took a step forward good hand raised and voice tense, "Just let her go and we will all get off your land."

The troll responded by tightening his grip on Emma's throat who let out a small gasp as the blade cut into her neck.

"Not another step," the troll warned and Hook stopped again watching in horror as blood began to well and fall from the incision.

Suddenly a cry from behind them made the troll holding Emma look over his shoulder briefly, releasing the pressure on her throat. Reaching up Emma grabbed the blade and spun around, plunging the blade into her attacker and twisting away. At the same time Hook had turned on the Troll closest to him and that one fell also. Snow was fighting with the assistance of the onlooker that had provided such a well-timed distraction.

"Dad," Emma muttered, and Hook shook his head.

"Not exactly." Hook took the brief respite to replace his hook with the fake hand once more. When the other trolls fell Snow ran back to them ignoring Charming entirely.

"Time for a grand romantic gesture," Killian warned her, "I suggest you make it convincing, darling."

Sweeping her hair back he let his fingers linger near the cut for a moment before saying (probably more loudly than necessary for Snow to hear as she had just reached them) "You could have been killed... again."

"What, no, it's nothing ...Killian _you're_ hurt," Emma said, reaching for him.

He ignored her and continued. "We've known each other for a while now Swan and it's nothing but one danger after another all threatening to take you away, for good. I can't stand watching it anymore."

Emma wasn't entirely sure where this was going so she just reacted as honestly as she could. "Are...are you leaving?"

"Never," he wrapped his arms around her and she tried desperately to remember that it was a show. Always a show. "Swan, I don't want to regret not fighting for what I want."

Suddenly he released her and dropped to one knee and Emma's eyes widened.

"I'm tired of pretending that we have all the time in the world. We don't, we are under constant threat... and a man who doesn't fight for what he wants deserves what he gets. I've lived more years than I care to remember, and all that time nothing effected me like you. You turned my world upside down, and if I gave you every day for the rest of my life it would never be enough to thank you. But I'd like to try. Emma Swan, will you marry me?"

Emma stood dumbstruck for a moment mind spinning in circles trying to remember what was happening. Suddenly Snow gasped slightly in excitement and Emma's mind clicked into focus. The show, put on a show. She broke into her (hopefully) most convincing smile and tackled Killian with a hug. (If she put a little more force behind the impact than necessary she could hardly be blamed for that.) He rocked backwards as he caught her then pulled her tight as she cried loudly, "Of course, of course!" She leaned into his ear and whispered, "I am going to kill you, later."

"Oh, I have no doubt," he whispered back, taking a ring from his pinky and sliding it onto her finger as Snow bounced up and down in excitement. She tried to focus but suddenly he was helping her to her feet and kissing her and it was supposed to be a show ... but it felt like Neverland and the heat would surely burn her alive.

"Congratulations," said Charming. "I don't know you, but any friend of Snow White's is bound to be deserving of such happiness."

Snow turned on David, apparently unable to ignore him anymore. "What are you doing here, Charming?"

"Is that any way to greet the man who saved you?"

"Why did you tell her?"

David shook his head vigorously. "I didn't. I've been searching for you for days. Ever since I heard the Queen had increased her patrols...I couldn't leave you alone out here it didn't feel right."

Snow's mouth opened but she couldn't find the words for a moment. "You didn't...you didn't turn me in?"

"No, never!"

She looked confused and Killian stepped forward. "I told you that you had good instincts...It has been a pleasure, milady, but if you don't mind I think my lady and I will go and...celebrate elsewhere."

Snow nodded and Killian left the scene with Emma's hand firmly in his. Emma turned around just as they cleared view just in time to see Snow and Charming walking the other way, deep in conversation. Once out of sight Emma turned on Killian.

"What the hell was that?"

"I know you're in a haze of happiness, darling, but I believe it's called a proposal. You did just agree to be my wife."

"I did no such thing," Emma grumbled, "and if you ever...EVER mention this to anyone I will ..."

"Do something terrible I'm sure." Killian said with a smile. "Shall we return to Storybrooke, love, I believe we've done our job."

She nodded stalking away angrily.

She was still wearing the ring.

Killian smiled.

* * *

**AN: I know, I know, you wanted a real engagement. (Don't we all) unfortunately I think something like this is a bit more plausible at the ****moment! What do you think about all this talk of weddings and proposals. C/S, Rumbelle... random characters introduced for the sole purpose of allowing them to build up this drama all season...!? Leave a review with what what you thought of this story.**

**Don't forget to tell me if you have a brilliant theory of your own!**


	3. All fair and above board (alternate)

**This version is an exploration of how things could turn out in a not so ...simple way... It starts out very similarly to the other version (moved to chapter 4) but then diverts dramatically pretty quickly. Leans more towards angst/tragedy. You have been warned! **

**All Fair and Above Board : (An alternate progression)**

_All fair and above board : term of nautical origin indicating something to be open and unhidden from general view._

* * *

Hook considered himself a good liar, but no one was good enough to string along the Lady Swan for very long.

So when she opened that door, for once in his life he wanted nothing more than to put as much distance between himself and Emma Swan as he could possibly stand.

He had very little time to decide what he was going to do. The witch's options were to kiss Emma and remove her powers or watch her family be destroyed. Neither were acceptable. A lifetime of piracy had made him ever eager to find that elusive third option, but it didn't appear this time. He couldn't take her magic. It would be a defamation of the woman he loved. She had more power than Regina, and she made Zelena nervous. He couldn't destroy that... but what of her family? Her parents, and...God, her boy. He couldn't let anything happen to her boy. It would destroy her.

But it was more than that now. Neverland had been for Emma, completely, unapologetically, for Emma alone. But now he knew the boy. Her son, and Bae's. Milah's grandson. The lad had become precious to him in a way that he hadn't felt since Bae had been just a boy under his care.

And Zelena knew it, damn her.

Emma would choose her family. In a heartbeat. She would sacrifice her magic, herself, to protect her family in an instant without a second thought.

Hook knew better.

Zelena needed Emma for some reason that he hadn't yet been able to piece together, but was afraid of her potential. Emma Swan would want to give up her magic to save those she loved, and then nothing would stand in between Zelena and whatever the hell she wanted. Magic saved Emma's heart once...and now he was supposed to believe that Zelena would leave Emma and her family alone once nothing stood between her and her desires? That was about as likely as Hook taking his next voyage to Neverland in a dinghy.

He had to get away...

"You're not coming?" Emma had asked...

Finally, the olive branch he'd been waiting for. Twice. Then she told him she was tired of living in the past. She was offering to let him in and he had to run away. He could practically feel Emma's eyes boring into him as he retreated from her door. It wasn't like him to retreat from such a moment as this, and it wouldn't be long before she tried to figure out what she was missing. But for now he would retreat, let her spend time with her family and pray that this was not the calm before the storm that he feared it was.

* * *

He couldn't leave. Not while Zelena was still here, when her family was in ever-increasing danger every moment he ignored the Witch's desires. He couldn't stay, not while just being near her risked everything she was working towards. Every moment tore his wounded heart to pieces.

He still spent time with Henry, after all Zelena already knew he was fond of the boy, and that way Zelena would have to go through Hook to get to him. He was confident that she wouldn't kill him... She wasn't done with him yet.

Every day Emma grew stronger and more confidant in her powers and every day his determination grew that he could not take that away from her. But he lived in constant trepidation that Zelena would grow tired of waiting for him to falter and simply send her monkeys after someone. It was oddly quiet. Apparently she still thought he would fail.

He had thought her walls had been bad. This was so much worse. He was watching them crumble, watching everything he had hoped for come into fruition, and then turning away. She invited him to lunch. He refused. She stepped forward, he stepped back. It was unnerving. He was always invading her personal space, always just close enough that he could feel her warmth. Just close enough to feel the spark. Now he stayed back and it was so cold.

For every step he moved back, she pushed that little bit forward, but he could see the vulnerability in her eyes.

When she picked up Henry at the docks with her parents she only said "thank you," but her eyes begged him _'please don't do this to me.' _

"Of course, Swan, you know I enjoy spending time with the boy," and he stepped away. "Any progress figuring out what the witch is up to?"

"She is getting incredibly bored," A familiar accented voice commented from behind them. They spun, Killian drawing the sword that he knew would not help. As predicted it flew from his hand before he even saw his target. "Who shall I take first, Captain, the boy?" She glanced over towards Henry but Charming had stepped in front of him.

"We won't let you touch him," Hook snarled.

"You think you can stop me," she laughed. "Perhaps you need some inspiration." She vanished in green smoke.

Emma ran to Henry who stood staring mouth agape at where the witch had stood a moment before.

"Mom?" Henry said tentatively, "What...what was..."

Before he could finish green smoke surrounded him briefly then faded away as he collapsed to the ground.

Hook scooped him up rapidly, turning to Emma, "Whale or Regina?"

"Regina."

Hook had hardly taken more than a few steps when Henry began to stir again.

"Lad, you all right?"

"Hook, what ...where are you taking me?"

Hook returned the boy to his feet and it was several tense moments before anybody realized what had happened. Emma spoke first. "Henry, what did you just call Killian."

"Hook, why?"

"You remember?" Charming said, dumbfounded.

"What, Gramps? Why are you all staring at me?" Snow and Charming bombarded Henry instantly with hugs.

"Touching." Came Zelena's voice making them turn again. "You have very little time left, Captain, to make your choice." She lowered her voice and whispered in his ear, "How should I do it, Captain? Have my monkeys rip him to pieces?"

Hook clenched his jaw as smoke surrounded Zelena and she vanished, her laugh still echoing around him. He couldn't let her take Henry, but he would be powerless to stop her. Just as he had been powerless to save Milah.

Suddenly Henry froze a look of confusion crossing his face and he looked up at Emma, "Where's my dad?"

Emma hugged him tightly as tears fell down Henry's cheeks. Finally he pushed away, "You let me go to his funeral without really knowing who he was?"

"I'm so sorry, Henry, we didn't know how to get you back."

"Weren't trying very hard were you?" he cried and took off back towards the town. Emma moved to follow but Mary Margaret grabbed her hand. We'll go, Emma this isn't about you...he's just upset about Neal. We'll talk to him, he'll come around."

Snow and Charming took off after Henry leaving an incredibly irritated Emma Swan behind to deal with Hook.

"What the hell was that all about, is there any particular reason the wicked witch seems to be taking evil-planning advice from you!?"

"Did that look like a friendly interaction to you, Savior? I suppose we had better make time for this story now..."

"Hook?"

"We're back to that, are we love?"

"What aren't you telling me?"

"I've wanted to tell you, Emma, it just never seemed like the right time." He sighed, "I remember that year, the year you were gone, as you recall. I wish I didn't. I was desperate to get my ship back, Swan and I did something I very much regret to get her back. I risked Ariel's prince's life to protect her."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I was telling you the truth when I told you that you can never go back to the way things were. I tried, tried desperately to be the pirate again and the guilt of my choice tore me apart and gave Zelina an opening. She cursed me, the details are ... not important but she gave me the power to take your magic. I told her that I wouldn't do it, of course, and she told me that unless I changed my mind people were going to start dying."

"Henry-"

"Aye, it seems the lad tops her list."

"How could you not tell me this."

"I'm sorry, love, I was hoping that between you and Regina... you were progressing so much I hoped you might be able to defeat her before she'd time to carry out her threat."

"You have to do it, you have to, we can't let her harm Henry."

"I won't, Swan."

"B-"

"Swan, listen to me. I've been around a while, but it doesn't take my years of experience to compute the chances of her leaving everyone alone once you are powerless to stop her."

"Why doesn't she just take my powers herself, or kill me?"

"She's had every opportunity to kill you. She hasn't, she needs you. Perhaps she is unable to take your powers directly for some reason?"

"This is all irrelevant. I can't just let her kill my son, Killian."

"We're not going to let her touch Henry. We will find another way."

* * *

Mary Margaret was right and when Henry next spoke to Emma he apologized for his outburst as she held him tight. From that point forward, Henry was never alone. He stayed home with his grandparents, or was chaperoned by Emma and Killian or Regina. A few days ago he would have complained but now he understood the danger. Emma spent every moment she could spare with Regina, training herself, desperately trying to gain control over her powers. The easy confidant woman teasing Hook by sending him hot chocolate was gone. She expected at every moment for Zelena to return and attempt to take Henry from her.

When Henry and Killian entered Grannies to meet Emma for dinner they found her asleep at her booth, a very old book serving as her pillow.

Killian bent down next to her as Henry sat opposite. "Emma, luv, wake up."

She shot up, "What's wrong, where is he, where is she?"

"Everything is fine, darling, Henry's just here for dinner."

"Oh," she turned to Henry who was looking at her with concern. "Sorry, Henry...I just... bad dream."

"I'm pretty sure breakfast for dinner will make everything better," Henry said with a smile as Killian turned to go.

"You're not staying?"

"I'll be back in a bit, Swan, I've got to go do something."

Emma and Henry had pancakes and Emma had almost forgotten about her exhausted state...if only she could shake that headache...

When Killian returned he brought Regina with him.

"Hey, Henry, what do you say to staying with me tonight, we haven't had a lot of time to talk since you got back?"

"Yeah! that'd be great. Do you mind," he asked turning to Emma, "will you be ok on your own?"

"Of course, Henry, have a good time."

"Henry why don't you go talk to your grandparents before we go," Regina suggested. Henry nodded and he left Regina, Emma and Killian at the table.

"It defeats the purpose of training if your exhausted Ms. Swan."

"I know, there's just... not enough time."

"I've been thinking; She obviously needs you alive for something and she wants your powers gone, and I've been trying to figure out why."

"I thought you said it was because she thinks I can beat her?"

"Perhaps, but that may only be part of the story."

"She's in search of...strong hearts. She's already taken mine...I think perhaps she wants yours too. Without your magic it will be vulnerable."

"So what does that mean? She can't take my heart, it's impossible."

"Not while you have your magic. Let's not underestimate her...let's get one step ahead."

"How."

"The enchanted candle."

"Isn't that dark magic?"

"If we use it on your heart, and speak Zelina's name... If she ever attempts to take it for herself, she will become its victim and give us a way to bring you back. If not there's no harm done."

Emma glances between Hook and Regina for a moment before nodding. All right, but we're doing it right here. I'm not taking that candle into Mary-Margaret's apartment. Regina nods and Emma and Hook follow her out of the diner and up the stairs into an empty hallway. Regina pulls out the candle handing it to Hook.

"How are you going to do this ...no one can take my heart."

"Not unless you let them. Look inside Emma and you can control it, tell it what you want it to do."

"Why am I the one holding the blasted thing?" Hook mutters.

"Because you, Pirate, are going to use it."

"I'm not much for magic."

"She'll expect me to have done something, she'll be looking for... traces. You are going to do this Hook, because Zelena will not see it coming. When I expose Ms. Swan's heart, light the candle and whisper Zelina's name."

Emma closed her eyes, attempting to control the magic she was just starting to be able to feel inside. After a few minutes Regina smiled and quickly removed the glowing organ from her chest. In moments Hook had lit the candle, spoken the name and Emma's heart was back in place.

"That was weird...let's never do anything like that again..." Emma said.

"Agreed." Regina turned to Killian. "If Zelina takes her heart to claim as her own the candle will destroy the witch and the heart she claimed. It will be your job to light the candle again, and whisper the name of the person to be saved, in this case, Ms. Swan."

"So I take it I have to keep the loathsome thing on my person."

"That would be advisable." Regina said, turning back towards the diner. Emma followed, and after saying good night to Henry decided to turn in early.

"I can't believe I just did that." Emma muttered as she and Killian walked back towards her apartment.

"That was...somewhat disturbing," Hook agreed, "I would prefer that you keep your heart right where it belongs from now on."

Emma laughed lightly before making a slight movement with her hand and producing a cup of hot chocolate. "Grannies to go", she laughed.

"That is thievery, Emma. Truly, I'm so proud."

"Not if you pay for it magically too..." She took a sip of the warm drink with a smile, relaxing slightly and Hook couldn't help but watch as she licked the chocolate from her lips.

"Want a taste?"

Hook's jaw dropped, before he realized she was holding out the mug to him.

"Ah, that...sure."

Taking the mug he sipped it lightly. "A lovely concoction, I can see why you favor it."

He handed her back the mug as they reached her doorway, and with another wave of her hand the mug disappeared.

"You think you're going to have to take away my magic don't you?" Emma asked abruptly, leaning against her door and making no move to enter. "You disappear to 'take care of something' and then show up again with Regina and a creepy just in case plan. It has about your usual level of subtlety."

"I will not, Swan, not if I can help it. But if it comes down to your lad..."

"Thank you. I really do appreciate everything you've done for me...for us. Do you...do you want to come in for a bit?"

"It's no trouble love...but I probably should go."

"Is this part of the gentleman act, Killian, because it's getting a little old."

"It's no act, I just..."

"Please, Killian, I need a drink...I don't really want to drink alone."

This woman was trying to kill him...

"Never could turn down a lady in need."

Emma smiled and opened the door, walking into the kitchen and pulling a bottle of Rum. Hook raised his eyebrows but she ignored him pouring generously into each glass and taking a long swig herself.

"Slow down there, love."

"Or what?" She leaned forward and Killian stepped backwards slightly. This woman was definitely trying to kill him...only possible explanation.

She sighed taking another swig, then suddenly she seemed to make a decision. Throwing herself forward like she had in Neverland she grabbed his lapels to kiss him, except he retreated again nearly knocking over his glass and stumbling backwards in his haste to get away.

Tears sprang into her eyes.

"Is this a game to you?" she asked, vulnerability creeping into her tone. "No fun once you win?"

"No... no I-"

"What happened to the man who was in it for the long haul? We're drinking rum in my apartment Killian and you're acting like ..."

"I can't, Swan, God you've no idea how I've waited for this but I can't."

"Why -"

"Zelina."

"You got a thing for the Wicked Witch, Hook?"

"It's the curse, she gave me the ability to take away your magic Swan, with a kiss."

Emma stared at him for a moment in silence, then suddenly laughed. " A cursed kiss, of course she did. I've been wondering for days why suddenly you can't stand being around me and now I learn you are just one more person trying to decide what 'my best shot' looks like."

"Be fair Swan, you haven't given a lot of indication that my cursed-kiss would be of any interest to you lately." He took a tentative step forward and when she didn't recoil gathered her into his arms. His hook pressed her close as he tangled his hand into her hair. Turning his head towards her/his lips brushed her ear as he whispered "You've no idea how much I wish I could kiss you right now."

"I think I might," she responded softly her left hand reaching up to the back of his neck to tangle in the short hair there.

She pulled away lightly and looked at him, her hand at the back of his neck mere inches from him. The moment stretched out before she finally pulled the rest of the way away. Then she wrapped her fingers around his left wrist and pulled him over to the couch.

"I'm not sure this is... wise."

She ignored his words pulling him down next to her and he wrapped his arm around her.

"I'm not letting her win, but I'm not letting her ruin this moment either." She kicked off her heels and pulled her legs up, curling into him with legs draped over his lap.

"It's quite possible that you are overestimating my restraint, love."

"I'm done underestimating you," she said feeling Killian relax next to her, brushing his fingers along her lower leg.

He sighed in contentment, then suddenly asked, "If I tell you, will you run?"

"No, too comfortable," she mumbled.

"I love you," then he laughed.

Emma stiffened, "Something funny?"

"No, I just... I've been telling you that for so long, in so many ways that It's a bloody relief to actually say the words...You're brilliant and amazing and I'm in love with you Emma Swan."

She smiled and the silence that followed was not awkward, because he knew she wasn't ready to say the words yet. But then she realized she didn't have to say it. Reaching down she grabbed his hand and raised it to her lips brushing a light kiss onto his fingertips.

Safely wrapped in his arms she felt herself relax.

At some point she must have fallen asleep because she woke abruptly to the apartment door slamming closed. She jumped slightly but Killian kept his arms tight around her, locking her in place.

"HOOK!" Charming's voice roared across the tiny apartment.

"Aye, Mate?" A sleepy voice murmured next to her ear.

"What the hell are you doing with my daughter?"

"I should think it would be quite obvious," Killian chuckled still not releasing Emma.

Emma sighed and waved her hand sending Killian's hook across the room to land noisily in the middle of the floor.

"Bad form love," he muttered, "particularly when I'm about to be in a duel."

"He's cursed" Emma said, rolling her eyes. "If he kisses me I lose my magic. What more could an overprotective father want?"

David was quiet for a moment before glaring toward the pirate. "There are plenty of things that you could do without kissing her."

Killian chuckled again "Thanks, mate, I hadn't considered that...you do know that I am older than you, right?"

"Not helping," the prince growled at the same time as Emma muttered, "don't remind me."

"Could you all please stop bickering," Mary Margaret said, as Emma wriggled her way out of Killian's arms.

Emma nodded her agreement, "We have more important things to worry about."

"Actually, you don't," Mary Margaret corrected. "You are going straight to bed."

"I am not 16, you can't-"

"Oh but I can, to bed, now."

"And you are going ... elsewhere," Charming grumbled to Killian.

Killian kissed Emma's hand before giving the prince a mocking bow on his way out of the apartment, picking up his hook along the way.

Emma rolled her eyes and went to the kitchen. "Am I allowed to get water," she teased her mother.

"I suppose, but make it quick," She smiled and gave Emma a hug before she and Charming disappeared into their own room.

Mary Margaret sighed in exasperation as she closed the door behind her. "You do know that the pirate is probably sneaking in her window as we speak?"

Charming shrugged, "Probably."

"Oh and now you don't care?"

Charming smiled. "He won't hurt her...but it's in the job description to react like that. I'm thought I'd missed my opportunity!"

Mary Margaret laughed, "Oh in that case, very nice work. I'll be sure to pick you up a father-of-the-year shirt while I'm out tomorrow."

* * *

Emma was not even surprised when she opened her door and found Killian lounging on her bed.

"That's a bit presumptuous," she commented, digging through her drawers for her pajamas and smiling as she picked out the plaid ones she had worn in New York.

"Pirate," he commented nonchalantly as she disappeared into the bathroom to change.

When she emerged his eyes went wide and she laughed, "I wasn't expecting quite that reaction from plaid flannel."

"You make anything look good, love, but that particular reaction was fond memories of those oddly colored garments.

"Fond memories? I kicked you in the-"

"Aye, that was not so pleasant, but I didn't think I'd ever see you again. The moment I did is solidified in my memory."

"I didn't realize you were so sentimental," she teased settling next to him and enjoying the warmth of his arms settling around her again.

"I'm not."

"Liar."

"No one would believe you if you told them. So it will have to be our little secret."

"I'm learning a lot about you tonight, Killian."

"Is that so?"

"You never struck me as a cuddler."

"That's a secret I must insist you take with you to your grave, my dear." His lips drifted over her ear dropping a light kiss there.  
"My reputation would never survive. My person might not survive either...I don't think I've grown on your father that much."

"And here I thought you guys were best mates now," she said, laughing nervously.

"Sleep love, you'll be ready when the time comes. I promise." Of course, he always could see right through her show.

"How do you know?"

"I know you...and you're not alone. I for one do not plan on letting that witch touch you or your boy. I suspect the rest of your family and the rest of this bloody town agree. The witch doesn't stand a chance, she's already dead, she just hasn't felt the blow yet."

"I can't protect everyone... I don't know how..."

"You don't have to. You protect Henry, I'll protect you and Zelena will lose."

She stiffened to protest, to tell him she didn't need anyone's protection, but no words came. She was the savior, the protector of all the happy endings...everything fell onto her shoulders. She'd never admit it but hearing him say those words calmed some of the knots in her stomach.

"Sleep love, just sleep." He drew his fingers through her hair and she felt herself calm sinking into his warmth and his scent and the small patterns he traced on her scalp and shoulder.

She slept.

Mary Margaret knocked lightly on the door in the morning to tell Emma breakfast was ready, when there was no response she pushed it in lightly. When it opened she was unsurprised to see Killian already awake or perhaps still awake, holding the still sleeping Emma in his arms.

"If you plan on yelling at me, love, could you wait until she wakes. She needs the sleep."

Mary Margaret just smiled and closed the door behind her and Killian could hear her telling Charming that Emma was going to sleep in this morning.

The light crept gently through the window, and Killian knew it was only a matter of time before it woke Emma, but he had no intention of stealing a single minute of her rest. Some time in the middle of the night Killian woke in a cold sweat from dreams of Milah and Emma, crocodiles and witches. Fortunately he hadn't woken her, but he refused to return to sleep after that, unwilling to return to that dream and risk waking the woman beside him.

It amazed him that even on the eve of battle Emma was able to sleep so soundly in his arms. It had been years, so many years since his sleep was peaceful. Killian had accumulated so much weight on his soul that sleep had become a bitter medicine that he unwillingly bore. At times like this he became acutely aware of his age. He looked young, and at times people underestimated the advantages his years had given him, but in the dark of night he could feel the weight of long years poorly spent. Choices he regretted, people he had lost, they all revisited him in his dreams and even rum didn't always keep them away. He had not had near enough of it the previous night to knock him out for one of the rare nights of dreamless sleep, so instead he kept vigil. Savoring this moment in his mind never to be forgotten. Knowing Swan, she would be more than happy to attempt the reverse.

When she finally began to stir Killian smiled down at her, "Morning, love."

"Morning," replied her sleep muddled voice.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Actually, yes... what time is it? Henry! What-"

"It's all right, he's still at Regina's, probably still sleeping himself."

Emma sat up, running her hands through her hair and Killian smiled. Emma saw the look and flushed pink, "gah, bedhead."

"It's beautiful."

Emma shook her head and pulled herself out of bed and into the bathroom where within a few minutes she had changed and pulled her hair out of her face into a rigid ponytail.

"You should leave it down love, morning suits you."

"Sorry, I kind of fell asleep on you, I'm sure you would have rather-"

"No."

"What?"

"There's no way to finish that sentence that is true." He stretched his arms out and glances towards the window, "Would you like me to make myself scarce, darling, sounds like your mother is waging war on the kitchen."

"No. No, come have breakfast with us."

Killian raised his eyebrows, "Are you sure that's what you want, your father will probably assume..."

"He can assume whatever he likes. I want you to come have breakfast with us."

"As you wish."

When they emerged Emma expected an explosion of some kind but to her surprise Mary Margaret had already set out an extra plate. "Blueberries or chocolate chips?" she asked lightly.

Emma was surprised but finally answered, "Showdown with a witch could happen at any moment...I think that calls for chocolate."

"Regina and Henry are on their way over too, but I think they've already eaten."

After the chocolate chip pancakes had been decimated they all walked outside to meet Regina and Henry. Henry ran up to Emma to give her a hug and then turned to Killian. "I don't remember everything yet, things since coming here are foggy but I remember you tried to help. I was wondering if we could do it again"

"I don't think that's a good idea," Emma broke in. "It's not safe now."

"Actually, " Regina commented, "he already asked me to put a protection spell on that boat-"

Emma laughed, "When did you get so clever?"

Henry just smiled innocently. Regina gave Henry a hug goodbye and Emma's parents said they would meet them at the docks soon leaving Killian and Emma to walk Henry to the boat.

"Whose boat is it anyway?" Emma asked knowingly and Killian shrugged.

"I don't know, but they got a protection spell out of the deal so I doubt they'll complain. I wouldn't tell the Royals though, I don't think they'd like it."

When they got close to the boat however, the lighthearted mood was broken by the familiar screech of a flying monkey. Emma and Killian closed in around Henry as several of the creatures came into view. Stepping forward Killian drew his sword but Emma pointed up and they watched as more came into view landing with the others.

"Henry, go to the boat, it's protected. We'll be there in a moment."

"No, I don't want to leave you."

"Go, Henry, they're after you. If you're safe we're all safe, understand."

Henry nodded and made a break for the ship, Emma and Killian blocking the monkeys that tried to follow him.

Just steps from the boat, however, Emma heard a laugh that chilled her to the bone.

Zelena appeared next to Henry before both vanished reappearing next to one of the monkeys. Zelena threw Henry toward the monkey. "I've had enough of this game. Did you really think this would help, that I wouldn't notice my little sisters little charm? Knives and Hooks and party tricks will not save him."

"Let him go," Hook warned.

"Oh, I'd be more than happy to, really, and you know what I need from you to make that happen."

"I won't do it, Zelena."

"Then you will kill her son," Zelena signaled to the monkey who closed its talons in on Henry, making him cry out in pain.

Tears fell down Emma's cheeks and she spoke up. "You won't hurt Henry? If we do this, you'll let Henry go?"

"Of course, dear, I'm wicked not cruel."

"I'm pretty sure the two are synonymous, love." Hook growled but Emma took his hand and he stepped back. "I can't lose him, Killian. Please..."

Killian nodded jaw tense. As he leaned towards her he paused lips just barely separated from hers. "I'm sorry Emma."

She leaned forward closing the distance between them and for a moment she felt a warmth spread through her, like Neverland. Then it dissipated and she shivered, pulling away.

"Very nice work, my pet, I knew I could count on you." With a flick of her wrist Emma flew across the pier and slammed into the nearest vessel and remained there, trapped against its wooden hull.

"You promised, Zelena." Emma cried.

"Oh I suppose, why not. He's more useful as a living bartering chip anyway." The flying monkey released Henry and Killian ran to his side, dragging the boy onto the ship. Rapidly Killian clasped Emma's handcuff around Henry's wrist and then to the ship. "I've learned a thing or two from your mother. I can't let you getting any ideas of heroics."

"Hook? Don't, please, I want to help."

"This is how you help right now, Henry. You don't let Zelena use you against us. We can't fight her if we're worrying about you." Henry nodded and Killian walked back onto the dock where Zelina was approaching Emma.

"I know," Zelena mocked Emma as she approached, "It's all very sad." Hook rushed forward, blade drawn and Zelina smiled. "What is it with you and these useless swords. All right, Pirate, let's dance." She raised her hand and suddenly a familiar sword appeared in her hand. Hook cringed, Jack's sword. She didn't need to beat him, only draw blood and it was all over.

Zelena held it up gleefully seeing the recognition in the pirates eyes.

"Yes, dear, you know what this is. This poison was enough to bring down giants, how do you think you'll fare?"

Hook raised his blade "you still have to cut me, and I don't think you can wield that thing."

Zelina charged at Hook who easily blocked her attack and countered.

"Why do you bother," Zelina sighed, "this way is so slow." she said as the blades clashed together again. "I'm already bored... and suddenly Hook found himself frozen in place.

"So I was right," Hook mocked, trying to appeal to her pride. "You can't wield that at all, can you."

"Oh dear, that's so cute, were you expecting a fair fight? I've no interest in such things." With a single motion the blade sliced through the air cutting through Hook's torso. It wasn't deep. It didn't have to be.

Then his mind stopped functioning at all, because Zelena plunged her hand into Emma's chest, emerging a moment later with Emma's heart in her tight grip. With a flick of her wrist she released Emma from the ship's hull and Emma cried out in pain as she fell into the water. When she didn't immediately surface Hook began to struggle ineffectually against the power that kept him in place.

"All right, all right, for all the good it will do you." She waved her hand and Killian sprinted for the water, letting his coat fall to the dock as he dove in where he had seen Emma sink. The salt water, or perhaps something else burned the wound in his chest. In moments he caught sight of her and with several powerful strokes reached her side. Clasping his hooked arm around her he made for the surface and she coughed as he pulled her out of the water. Laying her on the pier he checked that she was breathing and awake. She was still stunned and her eyes were hazy with pain but she was awake. He helped her to sit up, muttering "I'm so sorry, love, so sorry." He turned his attention back to Zelena. "You can't kill her, you told me yourself-"

"I couldn't kill her then, no. I needed her heart, and you can't pull a heart from a dead body. Not a useful one anyway. nor can you take a heart when it's protected by magic like hers. So thank you, Captain, you've been most helpful. But that's not even the best part." Zelena's voice dropped to a whisper as is she was telling a secret. "A heart can have only one master," with that she placed Emma's heart into her own chest.

"NO," Hook cried, tears already falling down Killian's face when Emma shuddered, crying out in pain. "No, no, no," he whispered, "Emma, please, don't leave me like this." It was too late. She went limp in his arms. Her heart had a new master, and her body was shutting down. So was his own, he could feel the poison burning it's way through his system.

"I'm so sorry," Killian repeated uselessly, letting his head fall onto her shoulder and holding Emma's body tight to his own. He kissed her hair, her palm, her knuckles whispering endearments to her that she could no longer hear and forgetting Zelena's presence entirely as he held the lost Swan girl in his arms. Apparently Zelena had lost interest in him too, why not... his vision was going dark the burning now stretched past his shoulders and was shooting down his legs. He was out of time.

His coat still lay on the dock and he reached painfully for it, pulling the candle from his pocket as well as the lighter he and Neal had fought over so long ago. Lighting the candle he knew he had to whisper the other half of the spell. The name of the person to be saved. In the back of his mind a pirate told him that he could save himself. Could whisper his own name and it would stop the poison coursing through his body.

Finally he leaned over the candle to whisper a name.

"Emma Swan."

Zelena screamed.

In an instant he found himself pinned back against the ship's hull, an enraged Zelena in front of him. "What did you do?" Zelena cried again out in obvious pain, an intense glowing and invisible whirlwind surrounded her. Zelena's eyes widened then she and Hook both closed their eyes, blinded by the intensity of the light. Zelena screamed once more and vanished, dust fluttering to the dock.

He collapsed, crawling back to Emma, but nothing more happened...

Perhaps it no longer worked? He had seen her heart turned to dust, there was not supposed to be any coming back from that.

Then, suddenly, her eyes snapped open.

"Swan?" he asked tentatively. Was she still there...was she still his Swan?

"Killian," she sighed, and his own heart leapt for joy as he pulled her into his arms.

"Emma!" He buried his head into her hair as he pressed her close, reveling in her warmth and presence. "God Emma, please ... please tell me I've not gone mad. Tell me this isn't a dream?"

She smiled, "Its all right now, we're all right."

"You're all right love, Henry's tied to the ship, please tell him I'm sorry, I just couldn't let him get hurt." Killian's arms loosened and he slouched. Emma put her arm around him to help him up but he remained where he was, leaning against Emma on the ground of the docks.

"What are you talking about, tell him yourself." Emma said, still trying to pull Killian to his feet.

"I wish I could stay with you Swan, more than anything, I want to stay with you."

Emma glanced down, her fingers drifting hesitatingly over the shallow wound, she curled her legs beneath her, letting him fall back onto her lap as she examined his wound carefully. "Don't be dramatic, Killian, that's nothing, a scratch. We're fine, you're fine."

"Old sword, Emma, but the poison is potent."

Her eyes widened, "We'll get Whale ..." she said hesitantly.

"Swan-" Killian tried to interrupt.

"or Regina, we'll get Regina..." Emma continued.

Wincing with the effort Killian reached up and placed his good hand on Emma's neck drawing her down into a soft kiss. "I can't let our last kiss be the cursed one, you understand," his hand drifted from behind her neck to wipe the tears from her face, a futile effort for more simply replaced the ones he chased away.

Emma's eyes drifted to the candle still laying beside him. "You could have saved yourself," Emma muttered.

"I did, Emma." His eyes were drifting shut and her panic was building, a horrible nauseous feeling curling in her stomach.

"Please, Killian, stay with me? Please don't go?" Her voice broke and Killian's eyes shot open again, pain and fear and guilt flashing through them.

"God, Swan, don't cry? You've got your lad, he's safe, Zelina's gone. You'll be safe now, right, you'll be all right?" His voice held a pleading tone and Emma stiffened. She wouldn't make him watch her break. Not now.

"You saved us, all of us...We'll be safe now, Killian." Tears fell freely from her eyes but a small smile crossed his lips.

"Swan?"

"Yes?"

"Don't let them call me a hero?"

She laughed weakly through her tears, "I can't do that Killian...Killian, you know ... you know that I love you?"

"I know, darling. As I love you. Swan, do it again, once more for me?" he whispered.

"Do what?"

"Smile, Emma? Please, I want to see that smile once more."

Her eyebrows furrowed "I can't..."

"Pretend for me?"

She bit her lip gently and closed her eyes. She'd spent most of her life playing a part, surely she could do it once more? She thought of Henry and her family. Thought of the fact that they were safe from Zelena and a small smile grew on her lips brightening her face for the briefest of moments before it fell.

"That's a good lass." Killian told her, and Emma dropped her head, burying it into his neck before shifting and kissing him again. He was leaning heavier against her at every moment. "Killian?" she whispered, lips barely parted from his.

"You'll be ok, Emma? Can I rest now?"

"It's ok, Killian," she whispered, hardly able to form the words. "Sleep love, just sleep."

He slept.

Her parents arrived first and she was still holding Killian close, tears soaking his tunic. Mary Margaret wrapped her arms around her daughter while Charming went to free Henry.

"He did it, Zelena's gone." Emma finally said through the tears.

Emma refused to part from Killian's side until Charming came over with Henry in his arms. Henry ran to her and Emma released one arm to pull Henry close. Henry's tears brought her back to herself and she hugged her son even tighter while her parents wrapped themselves protectively around all three. She knew now that she could never go back to New York. Her family was the only thing holding the broken pieces of her heart together.

She couldn't survive this again. Not again. She couldn't, but somehow she would.

* * *

**AN: **

**I'm totally going to have to disappear off fan fiction for a while ...I'm kind of expecting pitchforks... **

****Sorry...writing that was more difficult than expected...**Now click the next button. I PROMISE it will make you feel better. This version was kind of a writer's exercise for me, but I couldn't leave it like that. ******


	4. All Fair and Above Board

**I've written two variations on this story. This is the one I wrote and published first but I highly suggest you read the previous one first (It's been moved to C3 to facilitate that) It's not a requirement by any means... Just a suggestion for reasons that will make sense after you finish reading C3. :) Starts very similarly to C3 but the course diverges dramatically pretty quickly. Kind of a writers exercise on butterfly effect. How a couple of changed decisions can lead to incredibly different paths...**

**All Fair and Above Board**

_All fair and above board : term of nautical origin indicating something to be open and unhidden from general view_

* * *

Hook considered himself a good liar, but no one was good enough to string along the Lady Swan for very long.

So when she opened that door, for once in his life he wanted nothing more than to put as much distance between himself and Emma Swan as he could possibly stand. She wasn't supposed to be here. She was supposed to be off unlocking her potential or some such thing... Her parents were supposed to be here.

Charming was supposed to tell him what the bloody hell he was supposed to do now.

He'd risk a broken nose in the telling of this particular tale, as even the Prince's intentional obliviousness couldn't stand up to this one. The witch cursed his lips and then told him to kiss Emma. What the hell kind of game was she playing...

He had almost forgotten that he had started the day as Henry's designated companion and defender and so Emma's first thought when she saw him alone was for her lad.

"He's fine, he's with his grandparents, I thought they might be back here."

Her eyebrows went up and he knew he'd said too much already without even crossing the threshold. It wasn't exactly commonplace for him to seek out her parents while avoiding her...

He had very little time to decide what he was going to do. The witch's options were to kiss her and remove her powers or watch her family be destroyed. Neither were acceptable. Fortunately a lifetime of piracy had made him ever eager to find that elusive third option. He briefly toyed with the idea of just spilling the whole bloody tale to Emma and Regina.

His gut twisted. He felt the burden of the choice on his shoulders like a physical weight. There was no good option yet, no obvious path. Why crush her with that... It wasn't entirely that, though, and he knew it. He could still feel the well deserved slap Ariel had given him. He still saw the look of disgust and betrayal in her eyes. It had been Zelena on the docks, playing with his guilt. But on the Roger the look of disgust had been all too real.

So what else was new, he was a selfish git. Still...he wasn't sure he would survive seeing that look tarnish Emma's features...

So he kept close to the truth. Eric was from a seafaring land right, and the first thing all sailors come to terms with is the probability that their last breath will be a final gasp to welcome the sea into your lungs. Shipwrecks and storms were all to common...

He conveniently tried to forget the role Blackbeard had played in Eric's disappearance, instead explaining that a shipwreck had left him on Hangman's island. The lie is always caught in the details. It's also what makes it believable. He directed the words to Regina, rather than Emma hoping the lass wouldn't notice how he avoided her eyes... She did, and he could see it in her eyes when he finally looked up at her. She knew there was more to the story.

Fortunately Regina saw fit to comment that Ariel had probably already arrived there and distracted Emma from the warning signals that were most likely going off in her mind.

His relief was short-lived. They were going to check his story. His suggestions to the contrary were ignored as Regina and Emma went to the mirror to attempt something beyond even Regina's power. Many things flashed through his mind as Emma stood in front of that mirror. Fear. His story was going to be unravelled and he would be forced to face the consequences of his selfishness. She had been lying most likely, or perhaps she didn't even know... Zelena had no reason to tell him the truth of what had become of Ariel and her Prince. It was just one more manipulation. The tiniest spark of hope danced in his mind though...what if it wasn't too late? What if he really hadn't killed Eric after all?

Perhaps the mirror magic wouldn't work anyway. Even Regina-

His train of thought was interrupted by a rippling in the mirrors surface which rapidly dissolved into an image of the two lovers on the beach content in each others embrace. Relief surged through his mind. All of these months, spent berating himself for being the death of Ariel's prince were unfounded. She had found him, in spite of everything. In spite of him.

Emma turned and Hook's relief instantly melted into shame. There was pride in her eyes, wonder, surprise as she falsely credited him for their happily ever after. Even when he deflected it she credited it to modesty. If only she knew. She finally saw him as a man of honor. And it crushed him to know she saw only a veneer. Only a shining surface covering rotting wood.

Apparently the witch had not been lying about her network of spies. She would know if he told Emma or the Prince of his curse. There was no doubt Zelena would follow through on her promise. If he told Emma the Dark One would be sent after everyone she loved...

Henry came in with the Royals and the chaos in the room allowed him to slip back into the background. He couldn't take her magic. It would be a defamation of the woman he loved. She had more power than Regina, and she made Zelena nervous. He couldn't destroy that... but what of her family. Her parents, and...God her boy. He couldn't let anything happen to her boy. It would destroy her.

But it was more than that now. Neverland had been for Emma, completely, unapologetically for Emma alone. But now he knew the boy. Her son, and Bae's. Milah's grandson. The lad had become precious to him in a way that he hadn't felt since Bae had been just a boy under his care.

And Zelena knew it, damn her.

Emma would choose her family. In a heartbeat. She would sacrifice herself, her magic to protect her family in an instant without a second thought.

Hook knew better.

Zelena needed Emma for some reason that he hadn't yet been able to piece together, but was afraid of her potential. Emma Swan would want to give up her magic to save those she loved, and then nothing would stand between Zelena and whatever the hell she wanted. Magic saved Emma's heart once...and he was supposed to believe that Zelena would leave Emma and her family alone once nothing stood between her and her desires? That was about as likely as Hook taking his next voyage to Neverland in a dinghy.

He had to get away from them...

"Killian, Where's our friend?" Snow interrupted his attempted escape.

He glanced up, "It turns out her missing husband was back home after all."

"It's true," Emma affirmed, "we just checked in on them on ...Skype."

Killian almost smiled. He didn't even know what Skype was and he could tell she was lying. How was it possible someone so good at reading through others' lies could be such a poor liar herself?

Snow immediately decided this was a sign things were getting better and proposed a celebratory dinner.

Now he really had to get away. Checking to see his hook was safety hidden from Henry's view he retreated from the room.

"You're not coming?" Emma asked..."Well if you change your mind you know where we'll be."

And there it was. The olive branch he'd been waiting for. Twice. Then she told him she was tired of living in the past. She was offering to let him in and he had to run away. He could practically hear Zelena's laughter in his head... practically feel Emma's eyes boring into him as he retreated from her door. It wasn't like him to retreat from such a moment as this, and it wouldn't be long before she tried to figure out what she was missing. But for now he would retreat, let her spend time with her family and pray that this was not the calm before the storm that he feared it was.

* * *

He couldn't leave Storybrooke. Not while Zelena was still here, when her family was in ever-increasing danger every moment he ignored the Witch's desires. He couldn't stay, not while just being near her risked everything she was working towards and every moment tore his wounded heart to pieces.

He still spent time with Henry, after all Zelena already knew he was fond of the boy, and that way Zelena would have to go through Hook to get to the boy. He was confident that she wouldn't kill him. She wasn't done with him yet.

Every day Emma grew stronger and more confidant in her powers and every day his determination grew that he could not take that away from her. But he lived in constant trepidation that Zelena would grow tired of waiting for him to falter and send her monkeys after someone. It was oddly quiet. Apparently she still thought he would fail, though he wasn't entirely sure why, at first.

He had thought her walls had been bad. This was so much worse. He was watching them crumble, watching everything he had hoped for come into fruition, and then turning away. She invited him to lunch. He refused. She stepped forward, he stepped back. It was unnerving. He was always invading her personal space, always just close enough that he could feel her warmth. Just close enough to feel the spark. Now he stayed back and it was so cold.

For every step he moved back, she pushed that little bit forward, but he could see the vulnerability in her eyes.

When she picked up Henry at the docks with her parents she only said "thank you," but her eyes begged him _'please don't do this to me.'_ She stepped closer waving to Henry as he ran over towards Snow and Charming. She lingered behind for a moment.

"Of course, Swan, you know I enjoy spending time with the boy," and he stepped away. "Any progress figuring out what the witch is up to?"

"No, nothing in days, it's a little weird. What is she waiting for?"

"She's a manipulative wench, Swan, don't let your guard down." He unconsciously raised his hook to brush her hair back as he had done so many times before, but this time she surprised him by placing a hand on his forearm. Killian knew he should pull away but he found himself locked in place by the gentlest of touches.

"I really do appreciate you watching over him, Killian." She was stalling. Waiting for him to say something, giving him an opening... Finally he stepped back.

Now she looked irritated, actually irritated. "What is with you lately Hook, usually you're all about invading my personal space and now it's like you can't stand to be near me." _She always was a lass to speak her mind. _"If you're going to leave why don't you just out and say it." Her tone was angry but her eyes were open. _ 'Not you too...'_

He reached out and took her hand in an instant, "I'm not going anywhere, Swan, I promise you that. I just ..." He couldn't think of what to say. Couldn't think of how to explain that he wouldn't leave...but couldn't be close either. " I just need some ...time" he finished ineffectually.

"I should go."

"Until tomorrow then, Swan," but she was already gone.

"How touching," A familiar accented voice commented from behind him. He spun, drawing sword that he knew would not help. As predicted it flew from his hand before he even saw his target. "but, I am getting tired of waiting. Who shall I take first, Captain, the boy?"

"We won't let you touch him." Hook snarled.

"Good. The choice is still yours, but you are running out of time. You have one more day, Captain, to make your choice. Fail to do so and the boy's blood is on your ... hand. How should I do it, Captain? Have my monkeys rip him to pieces? No, no, I've got a much better idea. I will let the Dark One take his heart, would you like to see it crushed into dust? I can be sure to arrange that. Didn't anyone warn him that a heart condition runs in the family..."

Hook clenched his jaw as smoke surrounded Zelena and she vanished her laugh still echoing around him. As soon as she vanished he fell to his knees with a cry of mingled anger and frustration, digging his hook into the wooden planks of the dock.

He couldn't let her take Henry, but he would be powerless to stop her. Just as he had been powerless to save Milah. He needed help. He made his way back into town finally discovering his feet had led him to Regina's door. Knocking so hard he nearly put a hole in the door he suddenly found himself standing in her kitchen.

"There's no need to damage my home, pirate, What is it that you want?"

"Can we speak in private?"

"There's no one else here."

"Can you be sure of that?"

Regina raised an eyebrow catching his meaning before a wave of her hand called a shimmering purple haze surrounding them.

"If this is about a birthday present for the Savior I will drop you in the harbor the same way I dropped you into this kitchen."

"Zelena cursed me." Hook spat out.

"You don't look cursed to ..." then she paused moving closer. She moved forward until she stood only inches away and then she leaned back, "It seems she's onto your little infatuation."

"Can you remove the curse?"

"No, and I've little interest in assisting with your love life, Hook."

"She's told me to take Emma's powers or she will start killing everyone Emma loves. I don't-"

Regina paled then grew angry as she realized who topped that list. "And you are just telling me this now?"

"She said she would do the same if I told Emma..."

"I can't break the curse, and if I could she might just come after Henry anyway." Regina mused.

"I feared the same even if I do the witch's bidding. I have to tell Emma... I had hoped that a solution might become apparent but-"

"That would be most unwise," Regina still looked thoughtful, "I can't break the curse, but I can change it."

"Change it how?"

Regina ignored him turning her back on him to gather something from her desk. When she turned she raised her hands until they settled in front of his face. The familiar tingling that had occurred when Zelena cursed him, bloomed once again on his lips.

Regina dropped her hand suddenly, falling back a couple steps before leaning against her desk.

"What did you do to me?" Hook asked suspiciously.

"Your kiss will now bind her powers. I can't change the curse anymore than that...but at least now it won't be permanent."

"Will Zelena be able to tell the difference?"

"No, not a chance, until they are unbound no one will. And I suggest you keep it that way. Don't tell anyone of this plan, not even Emma. If Zelena hears of it Henry will be first on her list for repercussions.

Perhaps there was a chance then. If he could convince Zelena that Emma's powers were gone he might buy them some time. And perhaps allow Zelena to underestimate their position.

"Will you be able to unbind them?" he asked.

"It's possible."

"That doesn't sound very ..."

He didn't finish the sentence, finding his mouth inconveniently filled with water. Coughing and sputtering he pulled himself to the pier and out of the water. God he hated Witches.

"Killian?"

Swan. He climbed the rest of the way out of the water and heard Emma's footsteps running towards him.

"What the hell happened to you?" she asked, helping pull him out of the water.

"Got on the bad side of a witch, apparently."

"Zelena did this?"

"Different witch. What are you doing here, love?"

She froze, looking up at him. He realized that he had stopped calling her that of late, in his attempts to put distance between them. "I wanted to talk to you again...I just couldn't-"

"I'm sorry, Emma," he interrupted.

"What are you talking about."

"I've been pushing you away and I'm so sorry. No matter what happens I need you to understand that I will always choose you."

He saw the relief flicker through her eyes but it was followed quickly by suspicion.

"Why does this sound like goodbye?" She sighed and rolled her eyes her walls slamming back into place. "I get it Hook, you like a challenge and-"

"No, Swan, don't even think that."

"So what is it," she burst out "because it looks a hell of a lot like this is all a game. Are you happy now that you've won?"

He opened his mouth to tell her of Zelena's curse but closed it again rapidly. Zelena had told him not to tell her, and fear clenched in his chest as he thought of Henry...of the Dark One taking Henry away as he had taken Milah. It was too great a risk, he would never forgive himself if Henry were harmed for his mistake.

He took a step closer and Emma rapidly realized that he was back to invading her personal space again. His good hand reached up and cupped her cheek silencing her. "I love you." He said, without preface "and yes, I'm happier than I've any right to be, Emma. Things are about to get messy, but I need you to trust me. Trust me, please."

To his surprise she simply nodded. Praying that he was doing the right thing he leaned in and kissed her gently. She met him eagerly, leaning close as he wrapped his arms around her. For several moments he was enthralled by the taste, the scent, the feeling of Emma Swan and he allowed himself to hope that perhaps Regina had done a better job than she thought. Maybe this was just a kiss, the first of many? Then a spark of a very different kind shot between them and Emma collapsed motionless to the ground.

For a horrified moment Killian thought perhaps Zelena had lied and that this curse had taken his Emma's life. He dropped to the ground next to her, relief making his head spin when she opened her eyes.

"What ... What did you do?" Emma jumped up and backed away.

"Emma, please listen to me-"

Suddenly Zelena appeared next to Emma, "Very nice work, my pet, I knew I could count on you." With a flick of her wrist Emma flew across the pier and slammed into the nearest vessel and remained there, trapped against it's wooden hull.

"Why can't I-" Emma started, more talking to herself than Zelena.

"Oh, my apologies my dear, you see you don't have magic anymore. The Captain here was kind enough to assist me to apply a little curse."

Emma still stared at Hook a look of hurt and utter betrayal in her eyes.

"I know," Zelena mocked Emma as she approached, "It's all very sad." Hook rushed forward, but before he could reach her he found himself frozen in place not more than a few feet from her. This was too fast...too fast... Hook thought, mind spinning as he tried to figure out what to do. He was supposed to have time to talk to her .. to explain. They were supposed to be able to talk with Regina, with her parents. Come up with a plan. This was supposed to give him the advantage... Then his mind stopped functioning at all, because Zelena plunged her hand into Emma's chest her hand emerging a moment later with Emma's heart in her tight grip. With a flick of her wrist she released Emma from she ship's hull and Emma cried out in pain as she fell into the water. When she didn't immediately surface Hook began to struggle ineffectually against the power that kept him in place.

"All right, all right, for all the good it will do you." She waved her hand and Hook sprinted for the water, diving in where he had seen Emma sink. In moments he caught sight of her and with several powerful strokes reached her side. Clasping his hooked arm around her he made for the surface and she coughed as he pulled her out of the water. Laying her on the pier he checked that she was breathing and awake. She was still stunned and her eyes were hazy with pain but she was awake. "I'm so sorry, love, so sorry. I thought I could protect you and your boy..." He turned his attention back to Zelena. "You can't kill her, you told me yourself-"

"I couldn't kill her then, no. I needed her heart, and you can't pull a heart from a dead body. Not a useful one anyway. nor can you take a heart when it's protected by magic like hers. So thank you, Captain, you've been most helpful. But that's not even the best part." Zelena's voice dropped to a whisper as is she was telling a secret. "I only need the ashes of a heart born of true love."

"NO," Hook cried as Zelena grinned and squeezed Emma's heart in her grip. Tears were already falling down Killian's face when Emma shuddered, crying out in pain. "No, no, no," he whispered, "Emma, please, don't leave me like this." It was too late. She went limp in his arms, the dust circling lazily down from Zelena's fingers as Emma's heart turned to dust before his very eyes. "I'm so sorry," Killian repeated uselessly, letting his head fall onto her shoulder and holding Emma's body tight to his own. He breathed in her hair, pretending for a moment that it wasn't too late. He kissed her hair, her palm, her knuckles whispering endearments to her that she could no longer hear and forgetting Zelena's presence entirely as he held the lost Swan girl in his arms.

Zelena gathered the dust with a wave of her hands and turned to leave. He didn't know why she didn't just disappear this time. Perhaps she liked hearing the sounds of his despair echoing around her as she walked away. Hook waited for the despair to be replaced by the familiar dark anger but it didn't come yet. He couldn't let Emma go, not even to waste his life trying to destroy Zelena. Not yet. Instead he tried to make up for the time lost since his lips had been cursed. He brushed her hair away from her face, kissing her forehead and her lovely eyes before finally seeking her lips. Her lips were cool and soft as he remembered, but they tasted only of his tears now. As his lips met hers the tingling of his cursed lips reappeared briefly before the sensation faded.

Then Zelena screamed.

In an instant he found himself pinned back against the ship's hull Zelena enraged in front of him. "You took her powers, I watched you steal her powers..."

Hook ached to destroy her but she kept him still. Finally Killian's eyes followed Zelena's astonished ones and he saw the dust in her hand glowing. Zelena cried out in obvious pain, dropping the dust as the glowing intensified the dust picked up in an invisible whirlwind surrounding her.

"I bound her powers, actually, and it seems true loves kiss saw fit to unbind them." He smiled darkly, "Even in death her power is still strong enough to destroy you!" Zelena's eyes widened then she and Hook both closed their eyes, blinded by the intensity of the light. Zelena screamed once more and vanished, though if it was by her volition or Emma's, he was unsure. As the light faded Killian opened his eyes and saw that the swirling winds had slowed and the dust converged in a single spot. On impulse he reached out into what had once been Emma Swan's heart. To his surprise something solid had formed of the swirling mass. Taking hold of it the dust finally settled and the wind ceased and Killian realized he was left holding a beautiful glowing heart. His legs nearly collapsed under him in the relief, could it be?

Rushing to Emma's side he hesitated briefly. He was not exactly an expert in returning lost hearts...what if he did it wrong? This didn't seem like the kind of thing you got multiple shots at. He lowered it gently to her, approximately where his own had once been removed from him and to his relief it sank easily into its rightful place.

Nothing happened...

Perhaps it no longer worked? He had seen it turn to dust, there was not supposed to be any coming back from that.

Then, suddenly, her eyes snapped open.

"Swan?" he asked tentatively. Was she still there...was she still his Swan?

"Killian," she sighed, and his own heart leapt for joy as he pulled her into his arms.

"Emma!" He buried his head into her hair as he pressed her close, reveling in her warmth and presence. "God Emma, please ... please tell me I've not gone mad. Tell me this isn't a dream."

She smiled, "Its all right now, we're all right."

"You died Emma...you were gone...How...?"

"How am I supposed to know," she shot back in classic Emma indignation, "I was a little busy being dead, apparently."

Well it was definitely her and suddenly it didn't really matter how. He pulled away and brushed her hair from her face again just watching her for a moment before finally leaning in to kiss her once more. This time she kissed him back and he held her so tightly he feared he might hurt her, but he couldn't bear to let her go. When he finally released her both were slightly out of breath.

"That was-"

Emma opened her mouth to speak but Killian cut her off,

"Don't even think it Swan. This is not a one-time thing ... or a two-time thing, as it were. You died in my arms and I swear, Emma I wished it had killed me too. Please don't-"

Emma silenced him by covering his lips with hers briefly. "Four."

Killian raised his eyebrow questioningly.

"You miscounted. Neverland, New York and here ... twice. That's four."

"That's five then, lass."

"Five, please, it doesn't count if I'm dead."

"Really, you'll not count the kiss that was.. apparently good enough to call you back from death itself?"

"Fine, five." Then she kissed him again, and again, mumbling between each kiss... "six," "seven..."

Finally Killian laughed. "Swan..."

"eight."

"Swan, I-"

"nine."

"Bloody hell, Swan, I swear it is my new mission in life to make you lose count!"

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Killian." She teased.

"I never do, love."

* * *

**AN:Better? :P**

**This show just won't stop toying with us. Death by feels, I swear. Leave a review. Let me know what you think of this... or of the latest episode...or of the weather, whatever :P Have a good day everyone!**


	5. Awash

**I promised something adorable to make up for that last chapter. *cough* (though I would like to point out that Promo... Captain floor is happening again, I'm telling you, it's true love. They have a chemistry I just don't know if captain swan can touch) For the purposes of this story I'm putting some time in between Emma and Henry visiting Neal's grave and Snow going into labor. **

**I'm not sure I'm very good at pure fluff so we'll see I'll probably have to mess with them quite a bit first...it's kind of what I do. Let's see what happens...**

* * *

_Awash (Part 1)_

_Awash: Still afloat, but sailing so _low in the water that sea washes over the surface of the deck.__

* * *

Snow and Charming left some time ago, they paid their respects to Neal before backing off, knowing Emma and Henry needed some time.

"I wish I could have been there," Henry said sadly, watching the rose petals flutter lightly in the breeze.

"You were, Henry, remember-"

Henry raised his eyebrows at Emma and she quieted. He wasn't there, not really.

"You didn't really want me back, did you?"

"That's not true, Henry. I just didn't want you to have to live with all... all of the bad things that have happened."

"Like finding you, finding my dad, gram and gramps? Shouldn't I get a choice?"

"I just wanted your best-" she trailed off, hating the words coming out of her mouth. "I'm sorry, Henry."

Henry nodded, wrapping his arms around himself.

"We should go, Henry, it's freezing today. How about we come back tomorrow when it's warmer."

Henry turned from the grave and Emma followed, waiting for Henry to speak.

His silence was unnerving to Emma, normally he would talk about some game he was playing, or try to get her to spill on her newest 'case.' Now he was quiet, probably trying to sort out the real memories from the false ones. It was difficult, Emma remembered having the same trouble herself.

"I'm confused-" Henry finally said.

"I know. It's difficult to sort out the memories, but with time -"

"No, I mean Snow's baby... It'll be my...Aunt or Uncle?"

"Oh...That, yes, I guess it will."

"But it will be so...small."

Emma laughed, "You're going to have to remember how to selectively forget things like that again."

Henry chuckled lightly and turned to Emma, "I know you were just trying to protect me... and ... I'm sorry I ran away."

"What do you mean, Henry?"

"I know I shouldn't have taken your keys, but I was really confused and I thought if I went back to New York you might follow...and things could go back to the way they were."

"Whoa, wait, you did what?"

"Killian didn't rat me out? Oh...Never mind."

"Yeah right, kid, spill, what are you talking about."

"Fine... I kind of tried to steal your bug... But I was cursed right, you can't blame me for that!?"

"YOU did WHAT? Henry you can't drive... you took out a mailbox last time, not to mention it's illegal, did you hit anything, where is the bug now?"

"Same place you left it!" Henry broke into Emma's rant. "Killian didn't let me take it."

A perplexed look crossed her face, "What do you mean he didn't let you?"

"He was waiting near your car, kept me from leaving...said he had a better way. That's why I went with him."

"You mean he didn't ... kidnap you."

Henry laughed, "Yeah right."

"You were going to take a boat to New York?"

"Mr. Smee was going to take me, but then the monkeys came. Killian got me into the boathouse before they could grab me."

Emma nodded and was silent.

"So..."

"Oh, you are so grounded. You're not going anywhere without supervision, got that?"

Henry rolled his eyes then smiled "is Killian grounded too?"

"He's beyond grounded," Emma said tightly.

"Why? He protected me from the monkeys-"

"Look, Henry, I know you like him, but I need you to stay away from him. He...Well he lied to me."

"Lot of that going around," Henry mumbled and Emma sighed.

"How many times are you going to make me apologize?"

"I don't know... maybe If you got me that new game boy game I-"

"Dream on kid, you're still grounded."

Henry laughed. By now they had reached Grannies and settled into a booth. Emma ordered coffee and Henry ordered a burger.

Ruby smiled at them as she took the order and turned to leave.

"Aren't you going to ask how I take my burger?" Henry called and Emma shot him a look.

"Oh," Ruby stammered, "yes, I ... we just... how do you want your burger Henry?"

"Oh stop it Henry," Emma chided, turning to Ruby "he remembers now."

"What! You remember too, that's great Henry!"

"Yeah, but I was hoping to have a little more fun," he said, glaring at Emma.

The news spread rapidly and their booth soon became filled with people wanting to see Henry. It wasn't until much later that Emma finally pulled him away insisting he get a good nights rest. On the way out of the diner, they ran into Regina.

"Hey Henry," she said, "I thought you might want to come stay with me tonight, since we haven't really had much time to catch up. If you don't want to..."

"That sounds great," he glanced at Emma who nodded.

"I'd still like to go back, tomorrow, if that's alright?" Henry asked.

"Sure," Emma said, "want to get together after breakfast?"

Henry nodded and then he and Regina headed home.

Charming and Snow were already home when Emma arrived at the apartment.

"Where's Henry," Charming asked, "Certainly he's not with-"

A pang of guilt shop through Emma, she has gotten so used to letting Henry spend time with Killian...

"No, no, he spending the night at Regina's. They have a lot of catching up to do."

"So what are you going to do about Killian?" Snow asked cautiously handing Emma a mug of cocoa.

"I don't know, but I'd really rather not talk about it right now... You know what I want to talk about; How about how I totally kicked Zelina's ass."

Snow smiled, "Yes, I suppose you did. We knew you were our best shot, we just didn't remember why."

"So, what does it mean... What Regina did to... for you?"

"It means were both alive, to be honest we don't know anymore than that," Charming said taking his wife's hand.

Emma sighed, "the list of things that give me headaches is getting uncomfortably large. And on that note I think it's time for bed."

Her parents bid her good night, and she retreated into her bedroom, collapsing onto the bed. Magic was exhausting, not simple things like moving hot chocolate around, or stealing Killian's hook, but this had been from anger. She hadn't really known what was going to happen, just that she needed Zelina to stop touching her son.

Regina would tell her it was because she had 'lost focus on the magic,' that she wouldn't be so tired if she could just focus. Screw that, she'd like to see Regina focus on 'the magic' when her son was being strangled by the Wicked Witch. Apparently she hadn't been able to focus either or she wouldn't have ended up face first on the floor. Or maybe she would have. Apparently she was the only one that could stop Zelina. Again. That was getting really old. Still, something was bugging Emma. She hadn't been able to break the curse. Wasn't that her thing? She was supposed to be the savior and nothing happened until Regina kissed Henry. Why was that? She tried to push the feeling from her mind that felt suspiciously like jealousy. It's not like she ever wanted to be the savior anyway.

Killian. What was she going to do about Killian?

He lied to her.

What else was new? He'd lied to her before right, he told her he was a blacksmith and … There were probably other times she just couldn't remember right now. So why had she been so surprised?

Wasn't it only days ago that she had told Regina that he could be trusted... that she trusted him? And why would Killian prevent Henry from driving off to New York, only to stick him on a boat headed there. Could Zelina cross the line? Maybe he thought he could get Henry away from the town… but it doesn't matter, it should have been her decision.

Where had he been all day anyway? He didn't make it to their meeting, but just so happened to be around just in time to stop Henry from stealing her car? Emma Swan did not believe in coincidences. Killian was not simply avoiding her as she had suspected. He had been following her son. Looking after him ... So his idea of a sound plan was to stick her son on a boat with a man she didn't know to take him off to another city... Yeah, that sounds responsible. A warmth rushed through her heart, before she quickly crushed it. He wasn't trying to protect him, he was waiting for his chance. She sighed and sat up. If she wasn't going to sleep she might as well do something productive.

With a flick of her hand a glass of water from her bedside table blinked across the room to her desk. She sent it back and forth around the room, balancing it in precarious positions as she tried to increase the control she had over it. She focused inward, ignoring the fatigue, the worry and everything else trying to distract her. Suddenly she wondered if she could move things from beyond her line of sight. Focusing on something small, a kitchen towel, she flicked her hand and brought...half a kitchen towel. Oops.

She had to focus. Perhaps Regina was right, she needed the pressure. She focused again, this time on her jacket which she had left in the kitchen. She really didn't want to rip that in half... Closing her eyes she flicked her fingers and found her red leather jacket whole and unscathed lying on her bed. She continued this test for a while longer, focusing on items around the apartment and bringing them with a wave into her hands. It was helpful, actually, she needed to focus, needed to not think ... Just feel, focus inward, focus... Suddenly she felt cold metal in her hands and a sharp pang of pain. She looked down.

Her heart pounded in her chest as she realized that she held in her hands a shining silver hook which she had, apparently, sliced her hand on the edge of.

Uh-oh...

Damn. What now? Could she... send it back? Where did it even come from, she hadn't wanted to call it to her. She had just let her mind wander and... Instinct, just let instinct take over. She bit her lip and waved her fingers again and the hook vanished. Instantly she realized she had no way of determining if it had gotten back to it's target. Glancing down at her bleeding fingers she wrapped the half of a kitchen towel around them before realizing...she had just sent a hook flying back towards somewhere in the vicinity of the pirate ... without any way of knowing where it would go. She could have sent the thing into his throat for all she knew. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach and she reached for her phone before remembering that she hadn't exactly equipped Killian with a cell phone.

Damn, she cursed again. She really didn't want to see him...really didn't want to walk all the way to the docks in the middle of the night, or grannies, or wherever he was sleeping these days. It suddenly occurred to her that she had no idea where Killian was. She had taken his hook from him without any idea where he was. She wasn't entirely certain if that was impressive or scary.

Reaching for her jacket she froze and a thought occurred to her. If this works it was going to dwarf grannies-to-go in her growing list of unnecessary, but incredibly fun things to do with magic. Reaching for a scrap of paper on her desk she wrote a few brief words.

_"Are you hurt?"_

Taking a deep breath she focused on the pirate, on the hook and the note vanished.

* * *

He had been shadowing the lad for days, anytime he wasn't with Swan, waiting for the Wicked Witch to make her move... she hadn't done anything yet. Well, save having him knocked out and thrown in the back of a car...but you know... that was basically foreplay to her. Zelina wasn't ready to kill him yet, so he knew that he would get out of that car alive...but it told him that she was done waiting.

He couldn't keep an eye on the lad forever. Couldn't tell Emma, couldn't risk the Dark One taking her heart, her heart or her boy's. He wouldn't be able to stop him any more than he had the last time... He had to get Henry out of this town.

_I can't trust you now, can I._

Emma Swan didn't trust anyone, and he had thrown that trust away like trash. The boy was safe, as safe as he could be still stuck here in StoryBrooke but somehow it seemed unlikely that Emma would let him take Henry to New York now, or so much as speak to him again, for that matter. He sighed taking another swig before suddenly his hook vanished. Killian coughed, nearly choking on his drink as he looked around, half expecting to see it lying somewhere on his desk. Glancing sideways at his flask he tried to remember how much he had had to drink before realizing he knew exactly where the hook went... the question is why. Then, just as suddenly it reappeared not quite back where it had come from, instead thudding loudly onto the middle of his floor. Reaching down to pick it up he flinched when he saw traces of blood on its sharpened edge.

His stomach clenched. If Emma was playing a game why had she cut herself on the blasted thing. A moment later a piece of paper fluttered to his desk. Walking over to it he read a few words. _"Are you hurt?"_

He glanced down at the blood on the hook and wrote his response _"Are you?"_ leaving a smudge of ink on his desk as the paper vanished again.

He waited but nothing came.

He almost left a dozen times before the sun rose but each time he grabbed his coat a voice in his head told him that if she was badly injured she wouldn't have been able to send him that note... and she didn't want to see him. In fact, no one wanted to see him. He had gone from part of the team to 'town pariah' overnight. Throwing on his coat once again he tried not to think about the fact that the only person in this town who would not object to speaking to him was currently residing under six feet of earth...and would probably object if he could.

When he saw the rose he felt a moment of panic as he remembered Zelina's words. Was this a warning, was she telling him that she wasn't done? Taking a deep breath he calmed himself. The lad had just gotten his memories back, it only stands to reason that he would wish to visit his fathers final resting place. There was something surprisingly comforting about having someplace to go, someplace with his name. It was not something he had ever really considered before. A sailor's rest was at the bottom of the sea, no clean gravestone, no wet grass and certainly no flowers from those left behind.

"Hey, Mate..."

This felt strange. Did he talk to the gravestone, to the dirt, to the sky. What had he done before? On the rare occasions when he spoke to Liam or to Milah he was usually so drunk it was a small wonder he didn't just throw himself into the sea after them.

"I'm sorry I haven't come before now... I always was too late when it came to you. You wouldn't believe the mess I've made up here Baelfire. Actually, who am I kidding, you wouldn't be surprised at all..."

* * *

Emma wasn't sure if Henry would still want to go back to visit Neal but he showed up as expected for breakfast at grannies.

"Are you sure you want to go back, we don't have to-"

"I do, I didn't get to see him again while he was here, it feels like I should visit now."

Emma swallowed hard, "He understood, Henry, he didn't blame you for not remembering, you know that right?"

"I know."

When they arrived a familiar figure was crouched in front of Neal's grave.

"Henry would you stay here a moment, I need to speak to Killian."

Henry nodded and Emma went ahead. "Killian how did you know we were going to be here?"

Killian glanced up at her eyes too bright and unfocused as though coming out of a daze.

"I'll give you and the lad your time," he said, straightening slowly and making Emma wonder just how long he had been waiting there.

"Wait, What are you doing here? If you wanted to talk, this is not the place, you shouldn't be here..."

Killian's jaw clenched and his eyes flashed. "I may not have known Neal very well, but I have known Baelfire since before your parents were born. I apologize if my presence here disturbs you, but do not tell me that I shouldn't be here." He turned abruptly and left the graveside leaving Emma with a sickening guilty feeling in her chest. Henry came up beside her as Killian retreated and Emma smiled lightly at him.

"Should I say something." Henry asked.

"That's up to you Henry, if you want to talk to him you can. Why don't I give you a moment. I'll be right over there keeping an eye on you."

Henry nodded and Emma backed away a few steps. Far enough to give Henry some privacy without getting too far that if Zelena had any nasty ideas she couldn't be back at his side in a moment. She could see Killian's form walking briskly in the distance in the direction of the docks. She should probably apologize...but she certainly wasn't leaving Henry alone. With a small smile she waved her hand and once again held his hook in her hand. She watched him freeze in the distance and though she was too far to hear she was fairly certain the words 'bloody bad form' were probably escaping his lips. He turned and walked back towards her, returning to her side in a few minutes.

"Are you going to make that a habit, Swan?"

"I'm sorry... I wanted to apologize but I didn't want to leave Henry alone. I forget sometimes, that you're...that he ... was not always Neal."

"Aye."

She opened her mouth to speak but no words came and instead she just handed his hook back to him.

He took it glancing, sideways at her as he clasped it back into place, before reaching out to take her hand. He turned it over, eying the evidence of her accident the previous night "Are you all right, Swan. Why did you do that?"

She pulled her hand away. "I didn't mean to. I was practicing, seeing if I could move things around that I couldn't see. I was trying to focus and then ... suddenly I had it. I kind of panicked and sent it back before realizing that my aim could have been...off."

"So you developed the latest in magical communication methodology?"

A smile ghosted over her lips, "It was pretty impressive, right?"

"Always, love."

Her smile faded, "I'm still mad at you."

His eyes wandered over toward where Henry was still standing. "I only wanted to protect the lad, Swan. I realize now that... well, perhaps I panicked as well."

"So you thought sending him off on a boat with Mr. Smee would keep him safe? Mr. Smee does not exactly seem like the heroic type, what if Zelena attacked? Did you really think Mr. Smee would protect him?"

"Mr. Smee would do as he is ordered. If I order him to protect the lad with his life he will do so." Emma's look was skeptical so Killian continued. "Not out of any heroism... he will do so because if he does not his life is forfeit."

He tore his eyes from the boy and back to Emma only to discover she was watching him intently. Good. He wasn't lying, perhaps she would see that now.

"I can't risk being wrong about you."

He flinched as she subconsciously echoed her sentiment from the first time she left him behind.

"Trust yourself, Emma. You know that I am not lying to you. You know that I would give anything to keep you safe. Anything except that boy over there."

"How can I-"

"Trusting isn't your thing. I know. Nor is it mine, and yet I've made no secret of turning my entire life around to revolve around you and that lad. I've placed my heart on the line over and over to be crushed by you and then begged you to do it again." Killian sighed and glanced once more at Henry. "I'll not keep explaining this over and over Swan, we haven't the time for it. You either trust me or you don't. Given that your first thought was to ask if I was working with Zelena, I think we've clarified that point nicely. Now, if you don't mind, mi'lady?" He said formally, for once without the teasing hint of sarcasm.

When she didn't speak he simply turned to leave.

Emma was torn, she wanted to trust him. She truly thought she had but here at the testing point she couldn't ignore the voice in her head that warned her not to trust anyone who could hurt her. She self-consciously fingered her necklace as she turned back to Henry who was returning to her side.

"Come on kid, I need to speak with Regina and my parents."

Once they were all gathered in Mary Margaret's living room Emma started.

"So all I have to do is steal her necklace and she loses her power... right?"

"Theoretically.," Regina said.

"What do you mean, that's what the...I swear this never gets easier...that's what the good witch of the south said, right?"

"True," Regina agreeed, "if you can trust her. Either way do you really think my sister is just going to let you walk up and borrow her jewelry?"

"So we work together," Mary Margaret said, "We distract her and then-"

"Distract her how, by being perfectly frozen little dolls? We so much as look at her wrong and we'll be frozen in place while the Dark One crushes our hearts to ash..."

"We have to do something, we can't keep letting her take the offensive." Emma said, frustration leaking into her tone.

"I'm open to suggestions, savior" Regina retorted sarcastically.

"Mary Margaret is right, I just have to get close enough. Maybe not even that close. I've been practicing on moving objects maybe I can just... you know... poof it away?"

"If she has to worry about all of us," Charming affirmed, "perhaps she will be distracted enough for Emma to remove the necklace? You shouldn't be there, Snow, you have to keep the baby safe..."

"Oh I'm going to be there. She wants my baby alive, and I plan on using that to my advantage for as long as possible."

"What about Henry?" Regina asked, glancing over at him "I don't like how fond she is of trying to harm him."

"I can help," Henry broke in, not liking the turn the conversation was taking.

"It's too dangerous...Perhaps Robin could-"

"We need Robin with us," Charming countered, "he's a long distance fighter, he may have a better shot than any of us at proving a real threat to her."

"Henry you can stay with Hook." Emma said firmly.

Snow and Charming shot Emma questioning looks but she ignored them and continued, "He needs to be protected and Hook has done that before."

"Are you sure," Charming asked cautiously.

"Yes, is that alright with you Henry? I know you want to be involved but we really need to distract her...not ourselves."

"Fine," Henry grumbled and for a moment Emma saw the grouchy teenager again.

After everyone left Mary Margaret approached Emma, "Emma-"

"I'm still sure,"

"What about yesterday, yesterday you didn't think you could trust him."

"I was wrong, he's been looking after Henry for days now, keeping him safe. I shouldn't have turned on him the moment Zelina started messing with us."

Mary Margaret nodded, and let the subject drop.

"I have to go find him...make sure he is still... willing."

* * *

Emma went to Grannies first then the boathouse, when he wasn't in either she walked along the docks for a while, thinking he might find her, but he didn't appear.

"Killian," she called.

There was no response.

"Killian, please we need to talk."

Still nothing.

She briefly toyed with the idea of searching through every boat, but what if he didn't want to be found... Perhaps he really was done with her this time?

She wandered back into town anger and sadness fighting for dominance when she caught sight of him coming out of Mr. Gold's shop.

"Killian?"

He glanced over at her as she jogged across the street.

"What were you doing in Mr. Gold's shop."

"Would you like me to start alerting you of every location I go to, Swan?"

"No... No, I just..."

"Can I do something for you?" He asked, his tone still holding that strange formality.

"Yes."

He raised his eyebrows and waited for her to continue.

"We have an idea, something that might let us weaken or remove Zelina's power. We need her distracted...but we can't have Henry there. Would you look after him?"

If anything his eyebrows went further up.

"Please, Killian, I ... I need someone I can trust watching Henry, I can't be worried about him."

"Of course, Emma."

"Thank you."

"What are you hero-types up to?"

Emma told him about what the White Witch had said and of their plan to get as many people to distract Zelina at one time giving Emma the chance to remove her powers.

"When?"

"As soon as possible, Mary Margaret could go into labor any time, we can't risk waiting."

"You mean... So you mean tonight?"

"Regina is, rallying the troops so to speak. She's going to call for another showdown in main street ...Zelena appears to have a fondness for the dramatic..."

Killian nodded, "I suppose I don't have to ask you to be careful?"

"You too. And please, Henry...I can't lose him. Keep him safe?"

"With my life, Emma. You know that."

"Without such dramatics ideally," Emma retorted.

"Don't worry, Swan, by now I've just about perfected the art of survival."

They reached the apartment and Regina reluctantly released Henry to Killian.

"Is this what was happening the last time?" Henry asked Killian as they walked toward the docks.

"Last time? You mean the last time we went sailing?"

"It wasn't just about talking about my dad was it?"

"No, lad, it wasn't."

"How do you stand it? Knowing that you're here and everyone you care about is in danger."

"Not very well, lad. Now... contingency plan."

"What?"

"Contingency plan. Anything makes me raise my eyebrows and you are to make for this boat."

"Why?"

"Let's just say its prior owner seemed to have some need for discretion." Leaning down toward the floor he pressed a panel releasing a hatch into the hold. "Smugglers hold," Killian explained. "Anything happens you go straight here, give me some time to deal with whatever is going on. If that happens you stay here until I open the hatch or one of your mothers call for you, do you understand."

"What about you?"

"I may have to call for you to show the boat is empty. You just remember if I really want you I'll open the hatch myself. No matter what you hear lad, you don't move an inch.

"I don't like this plan."

"Aye, that doesn't surprise me, but you'll do it none-the-less."

"Why's that," Henry retorted.

"Because I've grown on you...and you know that your mothers will see to it I die a horrific and painful death if I let anything happen to you. You wouldn't want that now would you lad?"

Henry laughed and they descended the gangplank making for the boathouse where it was warmer.

* * *

Emma was ready, this time. Regina was taking center stage, making lots of noise about how she didn't think her sister would even show up this time. Snow, Charming, Grumpy, Robin and Emma all were surrounding her in different directions at a distance. Some of the merry men were around too, though many of them were tasked by Robin to look after Roland.

Finally Zelina appeared, zeroing in on her sister immediately. "Didn't you learn anything from the last time sis, you've got no chance against me."

"You'd be surprised what I can do with a little help." This was her cue, Emma focused on the Necklace as she had on Killian's hook.

Robin's arrow flew as did Snow's while Charming drew his sword. Zelena just laughed and Emma flicked her hand.

Suddenly a crushing pressure seized her and she found herself hovering off the ground with everyone else frozen around her. Zelena glared up at her, "What did I tell you about dancing with amateurs?"

With a flick of her hand Emma flew across the street her back burning as she came to a rough halt on the asphalt. Zelina approached as Emma got to her feet, "What is it going to take before you realize that there is nothing you can do to defeat me. How about I take your boy from you? Will that make my point?" Zelina turned to glare at Regina and Emma charged forward only to be thrown back once more while the Wicked Witch vanished from sight.

* * *

"Killian!?" The fairy called, racing into the boathouse as fast as her wings could carry her.

"Tinkerbelle, what's wrong?" Killian responded in concern.

"Zelena is coming here."

"That's your cue, lad, you know what to do. Don't come out until your mother calls for you, do you understand? Not me, not anyone, just your mother."

Henry ran for the boat and Killian watched him until he reached the water before turning back to Tinkerbelle, "Where is Emma, is she alright?"

"I don't know, I'm sorry." Tinkerbelle said, "As soon as I realized the plan didn't work I came here..."

"Go back. Now, Tink!"

"I can't leave you here alone, Zelina will be here any minute."

"Tink, get out of here. You're a fairy now remember. If she's hurt you may be able to help her. Now go!"

Tinkerbelle wavered for a moment before finally disappearing only to be replaced by a less welcome green smoke a moment later.

"Did you miss me?" Zelina asked him.

* * *

**AN: This started out as a 'free-write' with the intention of fluffiness...It kinda, well, totally got out of control! So I had to split it into 2 parts because it was becoming a crazy long chapter and I'm not sure it's really turning out so fluffy. (I told you...i don't do pure fluff apparently) ****But it is turning out fun. (for me anyway!)**

**Let me know what you think of the premise! **


	6. Awash II

**_Awash (Part 2) - you know how I said 2 shot...yeah apparently I lied. The story decided it wasn't done yet, I don't argue with the story. _**

**_Awash: Still afloat, but sailing so _low in the water that sea washes over the surface of the deck.__**

* * *

"Go back. Now, Tink!"

"I can't leave you here alone! Zelina will be here any minute."

"Tink, get out of here. You're a fairy now remember. If she's hurt you may be able to help her. Now go!"

Tinkerbelle wavered for a moment before finally flitting away, only to be replaced by a less welcome green smoke a moment later.

"Did you miss me?" Zelina asked him.

"Is it possible to miss a festering sore?" Killian asked, contemplatively.

"You should watch your tongue, pirate, have you forgotten what I can do to you? Now tell me, where is the boy?" She began to scan the area, eyes drifting around the boathouse.

"Thanks to you Emma thinks I can't be trusted, you really think she would leave her son here with me?"

"Oh yes, I do, actually. And you're going to tell me exactly where he is."

Her eyes returned to him looking him up and down before glancing over to where his coat lay draped over a wooden railing. "I haven't once seen you without that lovely coat captain. Yet there it lies, uselessly discarded over a railing...on such a chilly night. You weren't, by any chance, lending it to someone before I got here now were you?"

Hook drew his sword as she approached but it was too late. She plunged her hand into his chest, squeezing until the pirate dropped it and she kicked it away.

She removed her hand with a grin and Hook coughed "I thought you needed a puppet?" he choked out.

"Oh, I only use puppets with good manners, yours are trying my patience. Now where is the boy?"

"Even if I knew, why would I tell someone who's given me nothing but pain in return?"

"Oh dear, you already have. You're a pirate, where do you put things of value?" She grasped his shoulder tightly and for a moment Hook saw nothing. Then he found himself back out on the dock, slightly unsteady on his feet.

"All right fine, I'll show you, he's not bloody here." He said, then called Henry's name, praying the lad would do as he was told.

He clenched his jaw shut as Zelina clasped his heart again and he winced, "Is that all you've got you-"

Her grip tightened, cutting off his words. "Call out to him, sailer," Zelena whispered in his ear. "He has those pesky hero tendencies does he not? Why don't you cry out?"

Zelina dug the nails of her free hand into his cheek and moved to his other ear. "Give me the boy, and I'll leave you behind to comfort his poor mother. Just scream for me, Jones."

Hook gritted his teeth and hissed "Death first."

She twisted his heart again and he collapsed to his knees gasping in pain but still refusing to let a single sound pass his lips. "That can be easily arranged, dear. In fact, you are turning out to be a far less useful puppet than I anticipated."

"Thank you, darling, I'm blushing."

"Do you think this is a game, pirate? I am done playing games. You are going to get the brat off that God-forsaken boat for me, or I will rip Emma into tiny pieces, do you understand?"

"Careful, Sweetheart," Hook taunted, "Desperation is a terrible color on you." A wave of pain crashed through his chest and he clenched his jaws shut again. Finally she pulled her hand from his chest. Eying the boats warily she stepped a few steps away from the water before a fireball appeared in her hand. "Shall I just destroy them all, one by one?"

Killian laughed, "How very clever of you. I'm sure a rash of property damage at the docks will bring the Lady Swan to her knees...It's pathetic really, you do know it's only a matter of time before she destroys you?"

Killian felt himself picked up by an invisible force and suddenly he was flying toward the boathouse. Wood exploded around him and fire shot through his body. He tried to pull himself to his feet but his limbs wouldn't respond, if he didn't have any broken bones it would be a miracle.

"Stay down, dear" Zelina mocked, an invisible force crushing downward on his chest making it impossible to breathe. "I am not a patient woman, if you wish to survive, I suggest you reconsider very quickly. Now, do you have a few last words?"

The pressure released and Killian breathed again as Zelina peered down at him expectantly.

As his breathing evened out he opened his mouth and Zelina leaned forward slightly.

"You will receive no quarter from her, you green git. I only wish I could be around to watch her destroy you."

A look of rage crossed Zelina's face and Killian was glad he was content with his last words, he probably wouldn't get another shot at them.

"I suppose a man like you always pictured dying upright didn't you? So be it." He was thrown upwards, this time against the boathouse wall, the crushing pressure returning and he struggled in vain to force oxygen into his lungs. Darkness and colors exploded into bizarre patterns in his vision before the darkness was victorious.

* * *

Emma pulled herself to her feet, and immediately ran in the direction of the docks. Looking over her shoulder she halted, everyone else was still frozen in place. Turning to sprint again, she didn't slow down until Tinkerbelle intercepted her halfway there. "Emma," she cried, returning to her normal size, "You're all right." Emma didn't stop and Tink turned to run with her.

"Emma wait, let me help."

"There's no time, she's going to the docks, she's going after Henry."

Tink grabbed Emma's arm. "I know, I warned Hook. He sent Henry to hide but he's alone with Zelina." Emma pulled away but Tink didn't release her, instead blowing a handful of pixie dust over her.

"Think happy thoughts, Emma!" Emma began to hover slightly and a smile crossed her face, she could get used to this. Emma sped on toward the dock, while Tinkerbelle returned to the square to unfreeze the residents of StoryBrooke. When she reached the boathouse, Emma could hear crashing from inside. She slowed, sliding quietly into a massive hole in the wall. She heard Killian's voice, low, gravelly and weakened by obvious pain, "You will receive no quarter from her, you green git. I only wish I could be around to watch her destroy you."

"I suppose a man like you always pictured dying upright didn't you? So be it," The witch exploded into anger and tossed Killian like a rag doll into the boathouse wall.

For a moment Emma hesitated, Zelina was distracted, perhaps she could take her necklace now. But she had already tried once and failed... Killian went limp and Emma reacted instinctively. Killian's hook began to glow a bright white before suddenly detaching and flying towards the Witch. The Witch screamed in anger and vanished from sight.

With her gone, the pressure on Killian's chest released and he collapsed, unconscious, to the ground.

Diving forward Emma tried to keep Killian from hitting the floor but only managed to collapse next to him herself, cradling his head in her hands.

"Killian...Wake up Killian," she shook him gently and then continued "You stubborn pirate, no one is allowed to kill you except me."

One eye cracked open, "Not even going to try a kiss then, beautiful? I suppose that can be forgiven...given the circumstances." Emma jumped, dropping his head with an unpleasant sounding thud. "Ah, careful, I'm a little worse for wear at the moment."

"Is Henry-?"

"As promised, Emma."

Emma sighed in relief, helping Killian to sit up but stopping when he winced from her touch. Pulling her hand away she saw it smeared with blood. She shifted to get a better look and he tightened his grip on her refusing to let her move. "Give a man his pride, love?"

She sighed, letting him lean against her as he got his bearings. She leaned her head against his shoulder too, the days events finally catching up to her. "I can't do it, Killian. I know you think I can but... I can't beat her."

Killian shifted slightly and began to laugh.

"What is so hilarious about that?" Emma shot at him.

"I know how you're going to defeat her."

"What?"

"My leathers, lass, if you wouldn't mind?" he asked nodding to where the coat lay on the other side of the room. "Not exactly a gentlemanly move, but I suppose given the circumstances, you'll forgive me."

He reached into the coat pocket and pulled out his flask. He took a long swallow before taking the jacket from her. He winced as he shrugged into the coat and she bit her lip.

"Killian...We need to ..."

"You have to go get your boy and I'd rather him not see that."

Emma walked to the ship he indicated, calling for Henry. A few moments later he shot down the gangplank towards her and into her arms.

"Is Killian ok? I could hear them talking and them she was hurting him and there was crashing ... but he made me promise not to move until you came for me and-"

"Henry, Henry, it's all right. Killian is fine. He's at the boathouse."

Henry pulled out of her arms and sprinted toward the boathouse, Emma only a step or two behind. Killian had made his way over to the wall and sat one shoulder leaned against it. Henry barreled across the room and dove into Killian's arms, tears streaming down his cheeks. The pirate looked at Emma with something akin to terror on his face before slowly lowering his arms around Henry.

"I'm sorry," Henry mumbled, "I'm sorry, I knew she was hurting you, I could hear her, I wanted to help, but I didn't know what to do. I thought she..."

"Shh- lad, it's all right."

"I should have done something, I should have stopped her, if she got what she was looking for-"

Killian pushed Henry away slightly so he could look at him. "What and let her win?" Killian said lightly, but his tone was hard. "You did exactly what I told you to do. I'm... I'm proud of you, Henry."

Emma knelt next to them and put her arm around Henry. "Everyone's ok, Henry. Because Good always wins, remember?"

Henry nodded and pulled away from Killian suddenly remembering that he was supposed to be a moody teenager now. Before long the rest of the town arrived with Tinkerbelle and Regina hugged Henry tightly. Regina took Henry home and everyone else decided to regroup at the diner.

In the stark brightness of Grannies, Killian truly did look worse for wear. Bruises bloomed on his exposed skin and she knew what he was hiding from everyone else. He probably wouldn't have been able to walk back to the diner at all if it weren't for an arm around Emma's shoulder.

"So what is this big idea, Killian?" Emma asked as everyone settled and Killian looked up from his booth wearily.

"I went to speak to Belle earlier, in search of the Wicked Witch's weaknesses. Would you mind," Killian glanced at Belle who had just entered. "I'm not in much of a story telling mood."

Belle nodded, "It turns out he actually is surprisingly good at research... Anyway, we were going through Rumple's old books and papers in the shop trying to find anything about Zelina that might tell us a weakness. Unfortunately Rumple was apparently pretty impressed with her. Everything we found was just... well how powerful she was. Finally I remembered that there was a story about the Wicked Witch in this world too."

Grumpy interrupted with a gruff laugh, "Is this the part where you tell us to drop a house on her, or hope it rains?"

"Well, obviously that's not likely to help, but so many of us have stories in this world. They may not be very accurate, but sometimes they get some things right. Still, we don't know what those details are so I'm not sure that this is very helpful..." she drifted off glancing at Killian who nodded sitting up a little straighter and taking up the story.

"It occurred to me later that when I tried to get Henry out of the town by boat the Witch responded immediately by driving us into the boathouse with her monkeys before showing up herself."

Charming sighed, "This is all very interesting, but she pretended to be a mermaid. I'm pretty sure water doesn't make her melt."

"No, of course not." Killian affirmed, "but she avoids the water none-the-less when she is fighting. Today she preferred to try to...persuade me to bring Henry off the boat for her rather than simply going to look for the boy herself. And when she threatened to burn the boats up she released her grip on my heart and put some distance between herself and the water before performing her magic."

Belle's eyes lit up. "You think her magic is weakened by proximity to the water?"

"Aye, explains her strange behavior."

"Is that possible?" Mary Margaret wondered aloud.

"Why not?" Emma replied, "The details get mangled... but why shouldn't water be her weakness...just not in the way we expect?"

Killian nodded. "So if you were to get her on...oh say, a ship. I would wager you could take that necklace from her."

"So what we invite her for a dinner cruise?" Grumpy asked.

"Oh I suspect we'll have to be a bit more creative than that," Emma responded, "but at least now we have a working theory."

People began to disperse eventually and Emma glanced over at Killian who was leaning forward. He rested his head on his palm and his eyes were fluttering closed. She noticed he had carefully avoided leaning back in the booth and she knew he had to be feeling dreadful. With a small smile she waved her hand and her mug of hot chocolate appeared in front of him. He glanced up at it momentarily and picked it up taking a sip letting it warm that chill that extended deeper than his skin. Emma's attention was briefly captured by someone telling her goodnight. When she looked up again the mug was back on the table in front of him and a small smile graced his lips. With a flick of her fingers she brought it back into her hands and took a sip, smiling when she tasted chocolate and the distinct flavor of rum.

She tried to glare at him but he didn't even open his eyes just smiled broadly his head still in his hand.

When the diner finally cleared she sat down next to him placing a hand on his left wrist. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I just flew through a house wall. Which, funnily enough..."

"Feeling well enough to spike my drink when I'm not looking, apparently."

"Aye, well, I'm injured not dead."

"Come on," She said, standing up.

He followed her lead and she pretended not to notice when he swayed a bit on his feet. He turned toward the door but she grabbed his hand, "Where are you going?"

"Pirate, love. I'm feeling a little land sick."

She shook her head, "No. You're staying here tonight. It's cold and you're hurt-"

"All right, Swan, that's a plausible excuse..."

She rolled her eyes and led him up the stairs to the room she had arranged for him, unlocking the door and pushing it open. She entered, noting that Granny had already stocked the room with medical supplies as requested. She entered the bathroom to evaluate her supplies as Killian sank down onto the bed shedding the coat with a wince. He sank face first onto the bed, exhaustion evident in his failure to even tease her about the situation. By the time she reentered the main room Killian looked to be out cold.

"Killian?" She sat lightly next to him fingers drifting to his back where they hesitated over the bloodied tunic. She finally lowered her hand onto his lower back which remained relatively unscathed.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered to the sleeping pirate. She bit her lip as she tried to decide whether to wake him. The cuts needed to be cleaned, and it was going to hurt. Perhaps she should just let him sleep for a few minutes? "This should have been my fight. Henry is mine to protect and she nearly killed you..." Without thinking, she let her hand drift up and linger over what appeared to be nail marks in his cheek then tangle into his hair brushing her hands through it gently.

"It's always been me. Just me, Killian," she felt a little silly but there was something cathartic about finally releasing the pent up words she could never tell him. "The savior right, protecting everyone else? I've never had someone willing to do so much to protect me...thank you."

"You're welcome, love," Killian mumbled and Emma jumped, her hand detangling from his hair instantly. "I was enjoying that," he purred, and Emma was sure that he must be able to feel the heat from her cheeks without even opening his eyes. Then he did, blue eyes meeting hers with a slight twinkle.

"I- um... I need to clean... so - you know ... infection..."

"Well ... now I know precisely how to get the Lady Swan to blush and ask to remove my clothes."

Emma ignored him and began to peel the tattered tunic away from his back using a pair of scissors from the first aid kit to finish cutting it off. She glanced at Killian's face and his eyes were closed.

"I think I need to call Whale...I don't-"

"I've had worse, darling," he said lifting his left arm slightly, "and I'd prefer your touch to Whale's. So lets get this mess cleaned up shall we." He slowly raised himself and made his way to the bathroom. (Stopping along the way for a generous gulp of rum, "for medicinal purposes, of course.") He sat down on the edge of the tub while she turned on the water, using the sprayer to gently rinse the blood and dirt from the wound. She glanced nervously at him when he gasped at the waters contact.

It was true, he had had worse, but that didn't make this experience particularly pleasant. The cool water relieved some of the heat and burning from his back but the pressure still irritated the open wounds. He clenched his muscles, his hand clasping the side of the bathtub so tightly he thought he might break the thing. Still it was better than seawater... He felt a pressure on his shoulder as Emma placed her hand lightly there to lean over him. She subconsciously traced small circles on his skin with her thumb and he focused on the feeling of her touch rather than the burning of the water.

She stepped away for a moment putting a mild soap on a soft cloth. "It won't hurt as much as rum," she said hesitatingly and he nodded a half-smile on his lips.

She leaned over him again using the cloth to gently remove the rest of the debris. He tensed up again as pain shot through him. Suddenly she stilled for a moment and he felt a slight pressure on his cheek. His eyes opened as she pulled away from the light kiss saying "I'm sorry, Killian, I'm almost done."

Once she finished she quickly dried him off. It didn't look nearly as bad now that it was clean and most of the bleeding had stopped. She covered the worst injuries with large dressings, before helping him back over to the bed.

"Thank you, Swan," Killian finally said as she sat next to him. "I'm not particularly fond of infirmaries. You should go before your parents worry."

"I'm not leaving you."

"Oh- I had hoped our first night together would be on slightly better circumstances..."

"Shut up Killian," Emma said, without venom. "I'm going to do something and if you say anything I will probably hurt you, despite having spent so long trying to patch you up."

Kicking off her shoes and taking off her jacket she laid down on her side next to him lacing her fingers into his hair again.

"Emma, I-"

"Please, don't," she pleaded, pulling her hand away. "Just sleep."

He sighed, reaching up with his right hand to take her left. She didn't pull away. That was something.

* * *

Emma woke when a cry from Killian suddenly broke through the quiet of the room.

"Killian?" She sat up, concern on her features.

He had rolled over onto his back and gone completely pale.

"Ah, Good morning, Beautiful," he said wincing as he sat up, "I seem to have forgotten my condition this morning...Perhaps you would do me the service of finding my flask?"

"Here we have acetaminophen," she said hurrying over to the first aid kit then handing him the medicine and a glass of water.

"How is it today,"

"Much better," he lied and Emma raised her eyebrows. "Well it was until I laid on it..."

She came around behind him and checked the bandages and fortunately there was no swelling. It certainly looked better.

"So, Swan, given that you destroyed my clothing last night," he said teasingly...

"Just the tunic," she said blushing. "I texted David last night, he should be bringing one over anytime now."

"You told your father that I needed a new tunic?"

"Yes?"

"It's a good thing I got those last words over with yesterday."

She laughed, "I think you'll be safe once he gets a look at those wounds, Killian."

Killian huffed, "Have you no faith in me, Swan? You'll find I can endure much...with the correct...motivation." His cheeky grin was cut short by a knock at the door. Emma let in Charming who, as Killian suspected did not look thrilled with his duty. However Emma was right too, once he caught sight of Killian's back he perked up substantially.

"No need to look so thrilled about my pain, mate" Killian said sulkily.

Charming helped Killian pull the tunic over his bandages and the three of them joined Snow, Regina and Henry in the diner.

"So how are we going to get Zelina on a pleasure cruise?" Emma said jumping right into business mode.

Regina suddenly disappeared and reappeared on the other side of the table.

"You mean like that, Miss. Swan?"

"Yes, yes, that, can you show me how to do that?"

"Yes but it can be dangerous, you can not lose focus. Have you been practicing without incident?"

"Yes, well except a dishtowel that I cut and half and..." she glanced up at Killian who had a small smirk on his face.

Regina sighed, "Yes now imagine that was your arm, Miss. Swan. You and the pirate would match."

Emma just glared. "I can do this."

"Well than do it."

"What... what do you mean, you're not going to show me how?"

Regina rolled her eyes and reached out, touching Emma's arm and the two reappeared on the other side of the diner. "That's how you do it, but there's really no other way to show you. Your turn."

"Are you sure this is-" Snow started but suddenly Emma vanished.

"Emma?" Charming called.

"EMMA!" Snow jumped up, spinning around looking for Emma.

"What happened?" Henry asked Regina.

"Probably just overshot," Regina said nervously.

Hook and Charming parted ways on the street taking off in opposite directions but before they could get too far apart Emma reappeared directly in front of Killian, shivering with snow covering her hair and clothes.

"Swan! What the bloody hell? Where did you-"

"S-Somewhere c-cold, I d-d-d-on't know."

Killian draped his coat around her, brushing the snow from her hair, "gave us quite the scare there, darling," he said wrapping his arm around her and leading her back into the diner where even Regina looked slightly relieved.

"Is it possible to go to ... other worlds like that." Emma asked.

"I don't think so, but you seem to take such pleasure in proving me wrong... Where did you go?" Regina asked.

"There was a beaver...it offered me tea...and fish." Snow placed her hand on Emma's forehead to check for fever, but Emma shook her away, "Never mind, obviously I can do it... I just need to work on my aim. I should try again."

"Why don't you warm up a bit first, Emma," Snow suggested with concern.

"No, I need to practice."

"Maybe aim a little closer to home this time, Swan?"

Emma nodded and closed her eyes vanishing once more. This time there was a little less panicking and a few moments later they heard a cry from upstairs "Boom! Same building, I'm on fire!" and then she was back sitting at the booth with a smug look on her face. "That isn't so bad!"

"Yes, well," Regina looked slightly annoyed, "you still have to get close enough to touch her."

"No problem!"

Killian smiled a bit and stood. "It seems I better prepare our stage. Would you like to try with an actual target, love?"

Emma nodded eagerly and the two of them headed down to the docks. Killian took the boat out into water a little ways before going below deck. A loud hissing sound followed and the boat shook "What the hell are you doing?" Emma called nervously, "Are we...sinking"

"Technically, yes." Hook responded emerging back above deck. "No need to fear, darling, I'd hardly scuttle a ship with such precious cargo aboard. Just filling the ballasts. They fill with water and lower the ship down into the water."

"Why"

"Our theory is that she doesn't like water, yes?"

As the ballast tanks filled with water the boat lowered until the sea lapped at the edges of the deck and Emma eyed it warily. Hook lounged easily watching her.

"Are you sure we're not sinking?" Emma asked as the water finally spilled over onto the deck.

"Oh my Swan, how did I ever survive before you were around to tell me when my ship was sinking?" Hook smirked, disappearing below deck and the sound of flowing water came to a stop before he emerged again. "We're perfectly buoyant, love. Have a little faith, this is what I do."

"Sink your own ship?"

"Yes, Swan, for truly they call me Hook because they were always having to hook me out of the water."

Emma disappeared, reappearing a moment later back on the distant dock. "I was being facetious..." Hook grumbled irritably to himself.

Then Emma disappeared from the dock and he heard a splash to port side.

Turning around he saw Emma treading water next to the ship and Killian laughed, "It seems I'm not the one sinking after all."

"Very funny, pirate," she muttered.

He caught a rope with his hook and leaned out extending his hand to Emma, "Don't worry love, the sea suits you."

She glared but took his hand, climbing back aboard.

Emma squeezed the water from her hair and disappeared from the deck again this time returning several feet to starboard. Killian laughed again offering her his hand once more this time pulling her close when she climbed aboard.

"A bit chilled, are we?"

Emma shook her head. "Maybe I could just land in the ocean somewhere and steal her necklace there." Emma suggested.

Killian gazed out over the water for a moment. "The sea is unpredictable, love, and that's the last thing you need to be worrying about when fighting a witch. I've no intention of losing another to her depths."

"All right, I can do this." She disappeared back to the dock a determined look on her face. He watched her figure in the distance until she disappeared again and this time there was no splash. He glanced around the deck and surrounding waters to no avail.

"Swan?"

He heard a pounding sound from below deck and he hurried below, perhaps she had managed to fling herself into the cargo hold? More pounding, and suddenly his jovial mood evaporated and he felt sick. The ballast tank... the sound was coming from inside the flooded ballast tank. He immediately activated the pump that would allow air back into the tank, pounding on the wall as he heard the pumps groan to life.

"SWAN, SWAN, get the hell out of there! You can do it...get out of there." There would be air in the tank eventually but it was an old ship and the pumps were slow. How long could she hold her breath? What if she hit her head, what if she had breathed in water already, what if she couldn't get out, couldn't get to the surface where a pocket of air might already be starting to form?

"SWAN?" He slammed his hook into the tank, but it was designed to be sturdy under pressure and it would take more than a desperate pirate to break a hole in it. He continued pounding none the less, desperation driving him more than rational thought. Suddenly he heard a gush of water and he thought he had burst through for a moment before diving forward to catch a waterlogged Emma Swan who was coughing and shaking in front of him. He sank to the ground with her in his arms "God, lass, Are you trying to kill me? You're doing a better job now than when you actually wished me dead..."

"I have to try again, I have to get it right."

"No, stop... Give it a moment. Please, lass, give me a moments reprieve."

"There's no time."

"There's time, lass, at least let me empty the bloody ballasts," he pleaded, clasping her tightly to him. She nodded, resting her head against his chest and listening to the frantic pounding of his heart that so closely echoed her own.

He let his fingers fall through her hair as his heart finally slowed. "Swan-"

"I don't know if I can do this, Killian," she admitted softly. "What if I can't take it, what if I just drag everyone I love into a showdown that I can't win?"

"You can win, you're-"

"Don't say it."

"You're Emma Swan, and Zelina has no idea what she's gotten hersef into. I've been on the other side of that fight, remember. It's not a winning position."

"I can't drag anyone else into this. I can do this alone, and if I fail they'll come up with another way."

"That's not going to happen, Swan. You go ahead and convince your family to be the second front. But I'll be right here."

"She has magic, no offence but what are you going to do?"

"If it weren't for you I'd have taken down the Dark One himself, I'm rather resourceful if I do say so myself."

"But if I lose..."

"I won't be left behind again, Swan. Not this time."

When the pumps finally stopped Emma pulled away and Killian sighed. "Are you sure you want to try again, Swan?"

"I have to."

"I wish I could kiss you for luck," he said with a small smile.

"Me too," she responded without thinking, then, as if realizing she had spoken aloud she flushed crimson and vanished from his arms.

Dropping his head back in frustration, he groaned. Life had gotten significantly more difficult since she learned to do that...

* * *

**AN: I couldn't resist that little nod to princess bride... and the chronicles of Narnia :P **


	7. Awash III

**_Definitely_****_ wanted to get this out before sunday and we see how things work 'for real' _**

**_Awash (Part 3)_**

**_Awash: Still afloat, but sailing so _low in the water that sea washes over the surface of the deck.__**

* * *

"But if I lose..."

"I won't be left behind again, Swan. Not this time."

When the pumps finally stopped Emma pulled away and Killian sighed, "Are you sure you want to try again, Swan?"

"I have to."

"I wish I could kiss you ... for luck," he said with a small smile.

"Me too," she responded without thinking; then, as if realizing she had spoken aloud, she flushed crimson and vanished from his arms.

Dropping his head back in frustration, he groaned. Life had gotten significantly more difficult since she learned to do that.

Pulling himself to his feet he returned topside watching Emma pace back and forth on the distant dock. He tried to quell his own nerves but his mind kept drifting to less than pleasant places her next jump could take her. Deep into the depths of the sea or high above him, she could end up half way through the bloody deck for all he knew. She vanished, appearing a moment later on the bow of the ship facing him with eyes closed. She didn't open her eyes, as if afraid to look, so Killian took his opportunity to scoop her up into his arms bridal style and spin her around crying "That's my lass!"

His injuries protested at the strain and he set her down again, hoping she didn't notice. She didn't, she was too distracted by her success. "I want to do it again!" She cried and before he could respond she was zipping back and forth until she made herself slightly dizzy and needed to stop.

A few minutes later Killian held his hand out to her. "You need to practice taking someone with you?"

Emma's smile fell instantly. "I've never done that..." She bit her lip nervously, "What if I don't bring ... all of you."

"Don't worry love, Henry would love it if I got a peg leg."

Emma smiled half-heartedly and put her hands on his shoulders. Her hands were shaking slightly and Killian raised his right hand to cover hers. "I'm not worried, love."

Emma leaned forward and for a moment Killian almost forgot about the curse... but she turned and kissed his cheek again lightly. "Thank you."

"Don't say goodbye, Emma, we're just going to the dock."

She nodded, familiar determination sparking in her eyes. "To the dock." She squeezed her eyes closed, but Killian kept his open, watching her until darkness took his sight.

In what felt like only a blink of her eyes Emma felt wood under her feet and cracked her eyes open. Killian was beaming at her and she sagged in relief as he laughed, "Once more, Swan, it's unwise to leave a vessel too long without her captain."

She nodded and vanished again. Once back on the ship Killian glanced down, then held up his left arm to Emma. "Forgetting something?" The hook was gone. She glanced back toward the dock and the hook returned to its normal position. Killian smiled, "It appears you're something of an expert now."

"Apparently." Emma responded glancing down as her phone buzzed "We have to do this tonight, now actually."

"You're not going to tell them, are you?"

She didn't respond. She didn't have to.

"What about your parents?"

"They got to make a decision for my best shot. I'm returning the favor." She glanced down at her phone again... "The baby is coming, Killian. Mary Margaret just went into labor. There's been enough children without parents in this town already."

"And Henry?"

"He has more family than he knows what to do with now. If I fail... they'll think of something. I'm going to the hospital, Zelena will probably be there soon. I'll bring her here as quickly as I can."

"I'll be here."

She smiled, "I know." She turned away and then stopped, turning back to him a look of nervousness on her face. The lost girl peaked out at him from behind her walls and she hesitated before speaking. "This is it...I... Killian, tell me you love me?"

He smiled sadly, recognizing a farewell when he saw one.

"I have love, many times."

"I- I want to hear the words."

"I still think you are going to win, Emma, but as you wish. Somewhere between a beanstalk and a cave I fell irrevocably in love with you. Whether or not you ever feel the same way, I will always love you."

She nodded, eyes steely. "Motivation, you said...well here's mine. I want to live through this, Killian. For Henry and my family and for all the things I still want to do. And I want to kiss you, Killian. I want to kiss you until neither of us can see straight and if a green witch stands in my way, I will just have to destroy her."

Killian didn't even get the chance to respond before she disappeared.

Zelena was the one out of her depth, and he was going to enjoy watching her realize it.

* * *

Emma arrived at the hospital and all hell was breaking loose. Robin's men were on the ground just starting to stir, Robin was nowhere to be seen. Emma followed the path of destruction to where Robin knelt by a prone Belle.

"Get her out of here, which way am I going?"

He nodded, scooping up the unconscious woman and nodding down a hallway.

From there it was easy to follow the sounds of panic and Emma ran to a room at the end of the hall.

"Zelena," Emma cried.

The Witch glanced up with a smile holding up Emma's little brother. "Would you like to meet your brother, dear? You're a little late." Everyone else in the room was frozen in place.

"Unfreeze Mary Margaret and give her back her son."

"And why would I do that."

"Because for some reason you want that child alive as badly as I do. What harm does it do? If you crush me so easily as you think you will it's easy enough to come back and take the child. But I know that you are going to hurt that boy, so if you try to leave now I will do my best to destroy you. He may be caught in the crossfire. "

Zelina seemed to ponder for a moment before she waved her hand at Mary Margaret.

"Would you mind holding him, dear, while I kill your daughter?"

Mary Margaret clasped the baby tightly eyes wide and horrified and started to move forward but Zelena waved a hand in her direction again, freezing her back in place.

"Such well-behaved puppets," She taunted, taking a step toward Emma. Zelena reached out to clasp Emma's throat in green-gloved hands and Emma panicked, almost forgetting what she had to do. She had never gone so far, what if she missed? What if she landed in the ballast again? Zelina stopped her breath closing her airways with a tight grip and Emma remembered the dark of the ballast tank ... cold water pressing in on her, her lungs screaming for oxygen. She tried to breathe, but Zelena's grip was too tight. All this planning and Zelina was going to win because she was afraid of drowning? Not likely. Closing her eyes Emma thought of the docks, of the boat and finally of him.

Suddenly she could breathe again. The pressure was released so quickly that she fell to her knees gasping for breath and vision swimming. She heard a splash, felt water under her hands and knees and then she was lifted to her feet again.

"No time to rest, love, time to move."

Zelena laughed. "This is your plan, dear? Well I'm afraid to tell you I'm not afraid of a little water. You've miscalculated greatly."

Killian pulled out his sword and stepped in front of Emma while she caught her breath.

"Ah, yes, the brave pirate, who keeps trying to be the hero and failing so miserably? You think your little blade is going to do anything to me?" Zelina began to circle them, eyes venomous.

"Why don't you come over here and find out?" Killian spat back at her.

Zelina waved her hand at Hook, who raised his eyebrows. "Problem, Love?"

"Not at all," Zelina responded quickly, but Hook laughed.

"Sure? You look a little concerned."

Zelina stepped forward hand raised striding toward Killian, nothing happened until she was no more than a step or two in front of him. Then he felt himself pushed backwards, as though by a repulsive magnet until he slammed into the side of the control room. It probably wouldn't have hurt ...if it didn't manage to put pressure on exactly the same place he had been thrown into the wall the previous day.

"You're a clever boy," Zelena muttered.

"Hardly a boy!"

"Oh but you are, you're a little boy who thought he had me figured out. So I can't freeze you in place when I get too close to the water...what difference does that make, _mate? _I don't mind killing you close up. Besides, I don't think you've thought this through thoroughly. Have you considered what else we could change if I win...what else we could...tweak?"

A moment later Killian was released from the wall by a burst of white light, falling forward with a splash onto the deck just in time to avoid a fireball flying by his head. Looking for the source of the attack Zelina turned and saw Regina armed and ready with another fireball. "Did you really think I would let you deal with her yourself, Miss. Swan... this is something of a family affair."

"This whole town is a family affair," Emma grumbled.

"Nice timing, darlin', but if you could possibly avoid incinerating my ship and my person I would be much obliged."

"Don't make me regret saving you pirate," Regina commented irritably.

"Actually, I think _you_ just tried to kill me. Thank you _Swan." _He moved away from the wall as he spoke, watching with a smirk as Zelena's eyes flicked back and forth between them.

"Details," Regina grumbled.

"I'm with Regina, I'm still not always sure I shouldn't have let the ogre's take you." Emma agreed with a small smile.

"Enough!" Zelina screamed, eyes manic, "enough, with your inane prattle. I am going to change the laws of magic, return things to the way things should have been! Do you even understand what that means!?"

"Oh yes," Emma commented, shifting away from Regina and forcing Zelena to glance back and forth between her and Regina now. "It means you're just like every other foster kid I've ever met, whining about how things should have been. You think I haven't heard that before?"

Zelena turned back towards Killian who was now moving towards her. "You've chosen the wrong side, pirate. They'll never accept you, you are only a pirate to them. What if you could change that? A small detour to prevent your brother from falling victim to the dreamshade?"

Killian faltered, lowering his blade ever so slightly and Emma stepped forward, "Shut up."

Zelina ignored her and continued, "Or perhaps you would like a chance to destroy the Dark One, before he has a chance to take your precious Milah? You could destroy him before he even marries her, if you prefer. Would you like that? You could be her one and only."

In a flash of sudden movement, Killian lunged at Emma, twisting behind her and placing the sharpened edge of his hook to her throat. Zelena took the opportunity to turn towards Regina, dodging a fireball before getting close enough to freeze her in place.

"Don't try anything naughty or I will take your throat with me across the ship," Killian said coldly.

"Killian? Please, what are you-"

"Do be quiet, Emma. The grown-ups need to talk." Emma ground her teeth as the sharpened point pressed into her throat. "So if I remove her magic, you will help me get them back? My brother ... my Milah?" His voice broke slightly on her name and for a moment Emma felt a flash of pain in her own heart.

"Why not," Zelena said with a small laugh.

"You're forgetting one detail," Emma said darkly, "what the hell makes you think I'm going to kiss you."

"Oh, I don't plan on giving you a choice, darling." He lifted the handcuffs from her jacket pocket slowly. "Do me the favor of putting your hands behind you, that's a good girl, wouldn't want to make a mess on this ship. It isn't mine, after all." He clasped the cuffs around her wrist with a smirk. "Oh don't look so put out, my pet, I know you've always liked them."

"On you," Emma spat.

"Maybe next time," he growled, glancing up at Zelena again "Now...I'm something of an expert on exacting revenge on those who've wronged me. If I take her Magic, and you betray me, I will find a way to destroy you."

The witch shrugged nonchalantly, "I'm changing the laws of magic, we can change whatever we like. If you go back for your Milah before she marries the imp then Henry ceases to exist, you remember. Or if you kill him Regina never learns to use her magic. I win, either way."

Killian nodded, moving slowly around Emma until he was facing her, his back to Zelena. "Are you ready for a magical moment, Emma?"

Emma turned her face away and Hook tightened his grip on her, reaching up with his good hand to clasp her jaw tightly. Zelena laughed as he leaned forward, and suddenly a pulse of brilliant white light shot into the sky, exploding like falling stars before fading into darkness.

"Damn you," Emma hissed, pulling her head away as Hook released his grip on her jaw and resumed his position behind her.

"What would you have me do with her now that she's defanged," Hook inquired, pushing Emma in front of him towards a gleeful Zelena, keeping his hook tight to her throat. "If you've no objection I would like to spend some...quality time with her tonight in these restraints ... you know, before she ceases to exist."

Emma's face contorted into a look of disgust.

"Do as you will with her, but do it quickly. You don't have all night."

"Don't need all night."

Zelena laughed again closing the remaining distance between herself and Emma with a single step. "Enjoy your evening, _Savior_."

Suddenly a pulse of green light exploded through the ship and Zelena stumbled backwards.

"You don't mind if I borrow this for the occasion, do you?" She held Zelena's pendant in her hand handcuffs hanging loosely from her wrist.

"How..." Zelena stuttered, staring up at Killian "You wanted to change the past, you took her magic..."

"I'm just full of surprises, aren't I?"

"YOU!" She leaped forwards toward Killian and Emma and then was suddenly gone in a flash of purple smoke, reappearing with a cry hovering about halfway between the ship and the dock.

"It seems we have another guest to the Storybrooke penal system, Miss. Swan," Regina commented, "How nostalgic." Regina glanced over at Emma, "I thought he was cursed, how did you take the necklace?"

Killian spun Emma toward him so Regina could see their profile before clasping her jaw as he had earlier, using two fingers to cover her lips as he did so. With a flick of Emma's fingers white light erupted into the sky again, eliciting a scream of frustration from Zelena which carried easily over the water.

"You know that probably bruised my neck, pirate," Emma said challengingly.

"I admit, there are far more pleasant ways to come by such an injury."

"and were the handcuffs really necessary?"

"I'll leave that solely to your discretion, darling."

"Must you always be quite so crude?"

"No, but it's highly recommended."

"Oh just shut up," Emma said finally, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him deeply.

Regina groaned, "if you don't mind, I'll get to work on that sleeping curse." She vanished in a haze of purple smoke, taking Zelena with her.

Killian pulled away slightly only to pull Emma closer again in a tight hug.

"When did you know? Was it when I left the cuffs open?"

"Actually, no."

"...you knew, certainly? You weren't fighting hard enough for me to believe the charade to have taken you in."

"You used my name."

"I use your name frequently, Swan."

"No. You called me Emma... You haven't called me Emma since..." she flushed slightly.

"Since Neverland," he finished.

"Would you do it, if you could? When you said her name, you sounded so...I almost thought..."

His brow furrowed, "You can't change the past, love, not without a price. One I'm not willing to pay." His hand drifted to the shoelace at her wrist. "Would you, Swan?"

She was silent for a moment and Killian watched as her hand flew unthinkingly to her necklace. Eventually she shook her head too.

"Who was he?"

"A good man. He gave me a chance, showed me how to...I don't know, put down roots, I guess."

Killian nodded.

They were marked. both of them. Scarred by love and loss and more pain than anyone could be expected to live with. It was beyond reason to expect them to offer themselves up to be crushed again. And yet his thumb brushed her wrist gently and one of her hands still draped over his shoulder. And when his lips drifted down to hers again she wasn't afraid anymore. Because she was strong, and he was steadfast and maybe...just maybe... they were quite the team after all.

* * *

**AN: So, Did I make you doubt him again, just a tiny but even though everything you've seen so far screams at you that he can be trusted? That was the goal, to put you into Emma's shoes where I think she is at the end of the last episode. I think she still trusts ****Killian but feels unnervingly like she shouldn't And I wanted to see if I could replicate that feeling in readers. Let me know if it worked?!**


	8. No Time Like the Present: falling

**Nouqueret got me thinking about time travel...Oh, yes, I'm so going there. Time travel, this is going to be awesome! Let's see how many paradoxes we can get ourselves into! Hopefully this could be a little mind-bendy!**

**No time like the present: Part 1**

* * *

"SWAN!"

"Killian!"

His body burned and the strap was cutting into his forearm, he could feel blood dripping down his arm from the lacerations it was leaving on his skin... but it didn't matter. All that mattered was his right hand, which was clinging to Emma Swan like her life depended on it...which in all possibility, it might. The portal was a swirling firestorm of ominous red light and it shouldn't be here, because they had won, and yet it was.

He had tried to pull her back when she opened the door to this blasted building and the smell of smoke had assaulted them, but then the vortex exploded, ground shaking and threw them both to the floor Emma sliding into its depth. He had grasped her just before the floor under her fell away, vanishing into the abyss as his hook dug into the floor for purchase. He could feel himself sliding, his hook doubtless leaving a track of destroyed wood in its wake, but he didn't look up at it, his eyes were trained on the Swan girl as hers were on him. He didn't like the resignation he saw there and he tightened his grip on her, even as her arm slid further from his grasp.

"Don't you dare, Swan,"

"Tell Henry I'm sorry," she cried, fear evident in her tone.

"Not going to happen."

"Please Killian."

"Not bloody likely, you go down and I'm going with you. You hear that Swan, so hold on."

It wasn't really her choice, though and he could feel her still being pulled away, stretching his every muscle to it's breaking point as the vortex swelled around her. The moment he felt her hand begin to slip he jerked his left arm, freeing the hook from it's place and tumbling after her catching her arm solidly again. Heat and color swirled around them and they fell for what felt like ages, clinging to each others hand and hoping that wherever they were going they would at least land together. Eventually the colors began to change and Emma could see the bright oranges being infused with splashes of blue and green. She could still feel Killian's hand wrapped like a vice around her own and then suddenly an intense cold gripped her body. She gasped on instinct before realizing her mistake. Her throat burned and water poured into her lungs stinging and burning as it went. She reflexively tried to cough, even though she knew if would only take in more water. Her body ignored the small part of her mind still thinking rationally and continued to gasp for breath in the ice cold water. She could still feel Killian's hand in hers as she kicked as hard as she could in the direction she thought was up, but her eyes blurred and she couldn't find the surface of the water. Her last conscious thought as the darkness closed in was that Killian lied, he said it didn't hurt.

As soon as Killian felt the chill around him he knew the portal had released them under the surface of the water and he held his breath. Salt water, if the burning at his forearm was any indication. Opening his eyes and turning towards Emma his chest tightened as he saw her gasp, coughing and choking on the water. He kept his grip tight on Swan as she began to kick away from him, dragging him for a few feet. He too was disoriented from the swirling vortex but he had been here before. He knew that in a situation like this you couldnt trust your instincts to tell you which way was up. Pulling her back toward him and dragging his eyes from her he released a few precious bubbles from his burning lungs watching as they darted towards the surface. Emma had gone limp next to him and he hurriedly dragged her with him, following the trail of bubbles towards the surface of the water.

Finally he could see the sky brightening before them and he broke through the surface, pulling Emma's head from the water as he did so. He glanced around looking for the shore and saw it in the distance. Too far, too long. He pulled Emma to him treading water holding her tightly with his left arm. Being able to tread water for a substantial amount of time was a fortunate side effect of his line of work, but Emma was limp. Treading water while keeping Emma above the surface and getting her to breathe? He reached around with his free hand tilting her head back and closing her nose as he forced air into her lungs.

"Come on Swan, breathe for me, please."

Repeating the action he hardly was able to breathe into her before he was forced to release her nose in order to swim again, pulling them slowly closer to the distant land.

"Swan! Damn it, Emma." He slipped his right arm from his leather coat and then grabbed Emma with that arm so that he could pull his left through the sleeve. Finally the heavy leather slipped away from his body and sank into the depths as he returned his attention to keeping Emma's head above the water. Closing her nose again he breathed into her feeling her chest rise as he did so, but she still didn't breathe on her own.

Breathe, swim, breathe, swim, breathe...

"Emma, please come back, I can't do this alone."

Breathe, tread water, breathe... He was slightly out of breath now from trying to keep them both above the water. His arms burned. They were still too far from land, it would take him at least 5 minutes to get to shore on his own, even without pulling Emma with him or stopping to breathe for her every few seconds. "You heard what I said didn't you?... if you go I'm going with you." The muscles in his legs were beginning to burn from exertion and he began to sink deeper and deeper into the water with each break to breathe for Emma. How long had it been? How long had she been without oxygen.

Breathe, tread water, breathe... Finally Emma shuddered in his arms, muscles contracting as her lungs sought to expel the water.

"That's my girl," Killian murmured, holding her tight and above the surface as she thrashed and coughed, water and probably whatever she had eaten for lunch being expelled into the sea. "You're all right love, I've got you, just breathe."

Finally her coughing subsided and Emma began to breathe normally again as Killian continued to tread water for the both of them.

"Killian? What happened-"

"How about we save that story for when we've reached solid ground?" He said, swimming one handed toward the shore, left arm still clasped around her. Emma began to swim weakly toward the shoreline and eventually Killian felt his legs touch solid ground. A few steps more and Emma too touched the ground. They waded inward until they reached about waist depth and Killian released his grip on Emma, collapsing on legs that were too exhausted to hold his weight on land. This time Emma grabbed him, pulling him further towards the shore until they could both collapse onto the rocky shoreline. Leaning up against one of the many boulders Killian wrapped his arms around Emma as she leaned against him, too exhausted for the moment to speak.

"Thank you," she said finally, voice raw and sounding pained.

Killian leaned his head forward into her wet hair and sighed, "I told you I wouldn't let you go, besides, I owed you didn't I?"

Emma chuckled slightly, "I guess that makes us even."

"Aye, so we can stop the near death experience thing anytime now!"

"Where are we?"

"Shoreline looks vaguely familiar, but I think the more pertinent question is 'When are we?'"

"And is Zelena here too?"

"I thought she was in the bloody cell?"

"Yeah, well, here we are though," he could hear her voice and muscles trembling with chill.

"We've got to get a fire going, Emma, or we'll both freeze in these wet clothes."

She nodded and they moved away from the water as Hook pulled something from his pocket. She looked at it inquiringly.

"Flint and steel love, kept some in my pocket ever since that embarrassing lighter incident. Truly was bad form not to have had some then, a sailer should never be without it, just in case."

Emma nodded and before long they were drying themselves next to the fire.

"This place does look familiar," Killian commented absentmindedly, when they were finally dry. "Give me a moment, love." Killian walked back out toward the water, wading out for some distance before turning and inspecting the shoreline from the seaside. He turned toward the ocean again then bolted back for the fireside, instantly stomping the pleasant blaze out.

"Killian, what the hell..."

"Well the good news is I know where we are... and when we are."

"What's the bad news?" Emma asked.

He pointed out toward the ocean and Emma could see distant sails in the fading light.

"Is that-"

"The Jolly Roger...And it's too late, I've already seen the fire."

"You mean...you... on the ship?" Emma said confusedly, "How do you know he... I mean, you saw it?"

"Because...I remember..."

"You what?"

"I remember seeing the fire. And..."

"What Killian?"

"You're not going to like it."

"Killian!"

"We're going to have to find someplace to hide, my first order of business on reaching land is to find the source of those flames. I'm thinking that it would be a bad idea for me to see...well, you know... me."

Emma's head was beginning to hurt. "You mean you remember, seeing the flames that we made just now..."

"Decades ago, aye."

"My head hurts."

"_Your head hurts?" _Killian muttered before shaking his head_ "_Come on, on the plus side I remember where I didn't look!"

"So not helping," Emma muttered, rubbing her forehead gingerly.


	9. No Time Like The Present:Paradox

**No time like the present: Part 2, Grandfather's Paradox**

* * *

"We're going to have to find someplace to hide, my first order of business on reaching land is to find the source of those flames. I'm thinking that it would be a bad idea for me to see...well, you know... me."

Emma's head was beginning to hurt. "You mean you remember, seeing the flames that we made just now..."

"Decades ago, aye."

"My head hurts."

"_Your head hurts?" _Killian muttered before shaking his head_ "_Come on, on the plus side I remember where I didn't look!"

"So not helping," Emma muttered, rubbing her forehead gingerly, but Killian wasn't listening, still gazing absently at the distant sails.

"Killian, come on, didn't you just say we had to get out of here."

"Aye, but...I never thought I'd see _her _again, God she's a beautiful sight."

"Is now really the time to be admiring your ship, you can spend as long as you want making love to a boat when we get back to our own time!"

His face fell and he nodded turning away from the ocean... "Of course, you're right. Time to go."

Killian led her further into the brush with sure steps, as if he been here before, which apparently he had.

"I'll have them then follow the stream first, so we should get water now. We won't be able to go back to the stream for sometime."

"And why is that?"

"Because I'll have men posted there waiting for us."

"Why don't we just go inland, away from the shore?" Emma asked

"There's only so far to go, love."

"What," Emma cried, "are you telling me we are stuck on a deserted island with a bunch of pirates."

"Of course not...the two are mutually exclusive."

"Any ideas on how were going to get off said island?"

"Well, Swan, I for one, see a ship on the horizon."

Emma froze in place and Killian turned around to wait for her. "Problem?"

"None of this makes any sense, you can't commandeer your own ship!"

"Actually, it would be exceedingly easy to commandeer my own ship, I bear a striking resemblance to the captain. Now come on, Swan. Hide now, think later."

After the better part of an hours climb. They reached a series of small caves in the rockface and Killian climbed inside turning to offer her a hand as she climbed up too. They were small caves but out of sight and apparently Killian hadn't bothered to check them the last time around.

After determining that they were out of sight of the sea, they got a small fire going, but Killian was distracted, gazing longingly out the cave entrance. Suddenly shock went through Emma and she gazed at him intently trying to remember how long ago he had said this was. She couldn't remember.

"Killian," she asked carefully, "is she ... Milah, is she still-"

"No... Killian Jones is long gone by now."

"So what are you thinking about?"

"It's just, when you've lived as long as I have, a few decades feels slip in a moment... But you wouldn't recognize that man out there. It's incredible that it can feel like just yesterday and an entire lifetime ago at the same time."

"Killian, had we met ... before the Beanstalk?"

Killian was silent for a moment. "I don't think so, Swan, you're not a lass easily forgotten."

"So whatever we did, are doing... will do, you know what I mean... You...he won't catch us, right?"

"It would seem so, but let's not test the theory. He's not a man I would very much like you to meet."

"So how exactly do you plan on using that ship for a getaway ship without alerting ...yourself. God this is weird." Pronouns and tenses were going to be hard for a while she realized with annoyance.

"I haven't decided, but I get the feeling it might hurt. Still, I'd like to..."

Emma raised her eyebrows inquiringly, but Killian did not elaborate and her eyes widened.

"Is the Roger still back in the Enchanted Forest?... And what happened to your coat?"

"Leather is heavy, love,"

"Oh," Emma replied in realization, "I'm sorry..."

"It's only a coat, darling, you are infinitely more valuable to me than any mere possession."

"She's gone too isn't she?"

"Aye, Swan, but it's all right. She served me well."

"What happened?"

"I don't think you want to hear this."

She knew what was coming ...somehow. But she had to know for sure... To hear him say it.

"Tell me."

"Enchanted wood, love, you know what it does. But it was a one way trip."

She already knew that, of course, she had known the moment she realized the Jolly Roger wasn't in the harbor. But hearing it out loud was something else entirely.

"Oh Killian... You didn't have to-"

"And you didn't have to give up your magic to save me. But you did and I did, because in the end the alternative is unacceptable."

Emma sighed, leaning against the back wall of the cave, "I'm in the wrong world, Henry hasn't even been born yet… I haven't even been born yet. How am I going to get him back this time?"

"Let's focus on getting off the island, first," Hook replied.

"Alright, so what... we're going to commandeer your pirate ship?"

"We can talk about this tomorrow, Emma, you should get some sleep."

"I don't think either one of us are going to sleep tonight."

"That's very forward of you love, you could at least buy me dinner first."

The familiar smirk and tone were somehow comforting and Emma laughed, rolling her eyes annd moving closer to the fire. "So?"

"We're not going to commandeer her... I'm pretty sure I can't get away with that without...seeing myself. So we are going to stow away. This was an unexpected stop, I got curious when I caught sight of the flames on the beach. The next port town is less than a few hours journey with good wind. And there will be good wind."

"Where are we going to hide...It's not exactly huge, there can't be a lot of...unused bedrooms."

"It's a pirate ship, love, there's always places to hide discrete cargo, and we can grab a few supplies while we're aboard."

"All right, when do we leave."

"Well...They'll do a final supply run right before weighing anchor. We'll board then."

* * *

"Time to go, Swan."

Emma launched herself up almost colliding with Killian on her way up. "What... what time is it wh-"

Killian smiled down at her, "Almost drowning really takes it out of you, you slept all day. But we have to go now or we'll miss our chance."

It took less time to descend and before long they were hovering just beyond the tree-line watching for the Roger to clear. Several men were still aboard but most, including the captain were elsewhere. As the men retreated below the deck briefly Killian tapped Emma on the shoulder and they made a break for the ship. Hook pulled up the grate, sending Emma down into the Captain's quarters an instant before Smee came into view.

"Uh...Captain...I thought you were...still out on ..."

"And you thought that a good opportunity to be a lazy useless bilge rat, Mr. Smee?"

"Course not, Captain."

"Are you questioning my observational skills?"

"Course not, Cap... I'll just go, Captain."

"Wise decision, Mr. Smee."

As the man scurried away Emma struggled to contain the laughter that bubbled out as Killian climbed down the stairs into the cabin. Moving to the wall of his cabin he opened another hatch, this one led into a small private room. Killian reached out through the dark for a lantern and lit it rapidly.

Emma glanced around, the room was tiny...just large enough that no one would notice the space missing from the rest of the cargo hold. Killian ventured out once more, returning with a brown cloak for Emma, to disguise her bizarre clothing once they reached land again. As they waited the sounds of men talking and working amplified as people returned to the ship. Before long, Emma could hear Hook's voice carrying through the ship, yelling orders and creative insults at the crew as the ship got underway. Hook was in and out of the cabin frequently as they sailed. Killian on the other hand was far from restless. The motion of the ship served to relax him and in little time he was asleep in the small cargo hold making Emma wonder if he had slept at all the night before. Emma however, was fascinated by the sounds from around her. She knew at some point she was going to have to 'borrow' some things from Hook to get them through the rest of their journey so she listened carefully for the times he left the room. When he seemed distracted enough by yelling at the crew, Emma slipped into the main cabin, Killian still asleep in the hold behind the hatch. She eyed the various treasures the room held, there were not many, it was surprisingly simply decorated for a pirate's quarters but several things caught her eye, including a gilded mask thrown seemingly at random among a bunch of books. Emma's curiosity got the better of her and she slipped the mask over her face. She laughed and almost removed to it when suddenly a voice spoke roughly from behind her.

"What have we here? A stowaway...my darling you must not touch what isn't yours."

Emma gulped, She had obviously been distracted by her explorations and managed to not notice Hook coming up behind her. Eyes falling on a spare bit of rope a sudden idea flashed through her mind. Killian was easily distracted by her, why shouldn't she be able to wrap this Captain Hook around her finger just as easily? Picking it up she turned, thankful for the mask hiding her face from view. "Apologies captain, but the crew...they thought you might like something...a little different this time?" She gave her voice as sultry a tone as she could as she fingered the rope in what she thought imitated nervousness.

Hook smirked and stepped around the table, closing the distance between them. His good hand reached out and clasped her hip suddenly forcing her to step back a step or two until her back was pressed against the side wall of the room. This was the external wall of the ship and it slanted outward, causing Emma to be leaning slightly backwards with Hook pressed against her. Her mind raced as he drew a hand up to the side of her mask and she clenched her jaw. She couldn't let him remove the mask...he couldn't see her face, she tried to distract him by returning the pressure, pressing back against him and holding up the ropes coyly. "What do you say captain, feel like giving up control for a few minutes, I assure you it will be quite... relaxing."

A smirk flashed across his face and in a sudden rapid movement he relieved her of the rope, shoving her so she crashed sideways towards his bed. Taking advantage of her disorientation he pulled her arms behind her and tied them in a surprisingly quick knot behind her back. He allowed her to right herself, only to place the sharpened edge of his hook at her throat.

"Oh I don't think so, darling, but if you have a thing for that I'm more than happy to oblige. He pushed her back over to the side wall where he attached her now bound arms to a hook in the wall behind her waist. He looked her over with a predatory smile, eyes cold as ice. Goosebumps erupted over Emma's skin. This man...he was too fast, too cold. She had been able to manipulate him when they met on that beanstalk, and for the first time Emma realized she might not have had as much control over the situation as he had let her believe. Now she was in over her head, and she bit her lip. Screaming might wake Killian, but it might also call the crew, something told her that seeing two of their captain was bound to change something in the future...as would Hook seeing himself.

Hook tilted his head slightly as he looked at her, his hook playing with a curl of her hair in a bizarrely familiar gesture, "You are unlike any doxy I've had before...They usually wear fewer garments for one," he commented, tugging slightly at her cloak. His hand lifted to her mask again and he smiled. It was so wrong...it made her flinch away but he stepped closer again pressing her between him and the wall. The hook he had tied her arms to dug painfully into her back as she tried to put some distance between them. She toyed with the idea of kneeing him someplace he would not soon forget, but she hesitated. Would he yell, would the crew come running... The ice in his eyes warned her of another possibility. Would he just slit her throat and let her die right here for her insolence? For the first time in her life she was afraid of Captain Hook.

"The mask is a nice touch, though," Hook continued, bitterness in his tone, "that will make things easier."

"Make what easier?" Emma couldn't help asking.

"You talk too much." He leaned in again, untying the strings holding the cloak in place. He brushed it back and took in her clothing. "Something different indeed, my crew knows me well, I do enjoy taking a woman in leather."

"We don't need to use the ropes, Captain" Emma tried to cut in, hoping her voice still sounded flirtatious, "You'd be surprised by what I can do with both hands free-"

Hook raised his eyebrows, "Very little surprises me anymore, sweetheart. No, I think I prefer you like this." He pressed against her again and Emma squirmed as she tried to avoid the biting of the hook in her back. "You'll like it too love, eventually," he growled in her ear. "I'll make you scream, I promise."

Emma's mind was spinning in circles as she tried to decide what to do. She couldn't fight him locked to the wall, she would get a couple blows in before he ripped out her throat, she no longer had any doubt of that. Then his words finally clicked in her head. She could scream in a way that would not surprise anyone but the sleeping pirate in the next room.

She fixed him with a defiant glare through the mask, "Promises, promises, pirate... Tell me do you do anything but talk?"

Hook grinned wickedly, kissing her with a violence and fervor that made Neverland look tame. He dropped his lips to her neck, shoving her coat off her shoulders as he did so and Emma let out a loud moan, praying that Killian was not a deep sleeper.

The smug bastard eyed her with a heated gaze, probably bloody proud of himself for eliciting such a reaction from her so quickly. Then a look of confusion passed through his eyes.

"Wrong hair though, usually they remember to get the hair color right. But I can fix that, That will have to go." His hand and hook went to her hair, clasping it tightly before Emma realized he was about to shear it off. Then suddenly Killian burst out of the hold behind Hook, slamming the cabin door loudly. Killian looked at Emma with a slightly stunned expression for a brief moment before Hook turned toward Killian who immediately punched him square in the face. Hook fell prone to the floor and Killian raised his hand to a light scar on his own cheek which now had a twin on his past-self's face. "That's interesting," he muttered, making his way to Emma and cutting her wrists free. "I'm sorry, love, did he...did I...Are you all right?"

"I'm fine" she said shakily, "I thought I could play him...you, but you were...Killian why are you staring at me like that?" She asked, pulling the mask from her face. He took the mask from her, turning it over in his hands mouth slightly agape.

"I thought you were a dream...a fantasy."

"What."

"I think ... I think I remember this. I remember you..."

"Do you remember yourself?" Emma asked concernedly.

"I don't...I'm not sure...Between the rum and the blow it's a bit of a haze."

Killian was still staring dumbstruck at the mask but Emma sprang into action. dipping her cloak into the blood welling at Hook's cheek she dabbed it onto the corner of his desk. Then she pulled the flask from his pocket uncorked it and placed it in the unconscious man's hand letting it spill out over the floor as she did so.

Killian laughed as he watched her a slightly manic edge to his voice. "I didn't remember drinking that much...You were here...before, you did this before. I did that before...God, I'm so sorry Emma."

"Killian what are you talking about, I'm fine... everything's fine."

Hook shook his head to clear it and nodded, still staring at the unconscious version of himself. Then sudden anger flashed through his eyes and he charged the unconscious man, clasping one hand around his throat.

"What the hell, Killian?" Emma cried pulling him away..."He's you for crying out loud. God, this is all kinds of wrong..."

"Emma you don't understand... I was going to cut off your hair, take you right here without even freeing your hands... I was going to make you scream. Make you scream my name while I called you hers..."

"Killian you need to snap out of it, ok? Hook is going to be out for a while. You have to get us into port so we can get off this ship, understand?"

Killian nodded again, eyes still unfocused, and Emma watched nervously as he strode across the cabin and up the ladder onto the deck above.

* * *

**AN: Not nice Hook, not very nice at all! **

**So Killian seems to having some slight difficulty wrapping his head around the circularity of time travel, are you? Leave a review, perhaps leave me a time travel scenario that ****will make my head hurt too? that would make my day :)**


	10. No Time Like The Present: Consistency

**No Time Like the Present: Part 3 Novikov self-consistency principle. **

**Yes I plan on naming as many of these chapters after philosophical constructs as possible!**

* * *

Hook shook his head to clear it and nodded, still staring at the unconscious version of himself. Then sudden anger flashed through his eyes and he charged the unconscious man, clasping one hand around his throat.

"What the hell, Killian?" Emma cried pulling him away..."He's you for crying out loud. God, this is all kinds of wrong..."

"Emma you don't understand... I was going to cut off your hair, take you right here without even freeing your hands... I was going to make you scream. Make you scream my name while I called you hers..."

"Killian you need to snap out of it, ok? Hook is going to be out for a while. You have to get us into port so we can get off this ship, understand?"

Killian nodded again, eyes still unfocused, and Emma watched nervously as he strode across the cabin and up the ladder onto the deck above.

Habit allowed him to function easily bringing the ship into port, but his mind was back in that cabin, a lifetime ago, a moment ago. When he had tied Emma to his cabin wall and tried to force her into his fantasy of Milah. She had tried to trick him, implied that she was a bought doxie, of course, but he couldn't pretend he didn't remember the fear in her eyes hiding beneath the flirtation. He could see it clearly through the mask, and he couldn't pretend that he hadn't found that incredibly...alluring. When he...the other him woke up he would be thoroughly embarrassed, though not for the reason that he should be. With foggy memories, he would assume the doxie had been a thief that was able to outmaneuver him and the missing mask would prove that to be true. The mask had meant nothing to him before this day, but he knew he couldn't leave it behind. It would serve as a reminder to him for the rest of his days that he didn't deserve her. Not now, perhaps he never could. He would never mention to the crew that he had spent that particular docking unconscious in the cabin and perhaps that's why he never realized that his crew had no idea he was missing at all.

The rage that passed through him was was real enough and had Swan not stopped him, he had every intention of exacting his vengeance on the man that had tried to hurt her, even if it was himself. That was insane, probably, but now that he thought about it...perhaps not so insane after all. If he had succeeded everything would change. Cora may not have been able to return from Wonderland, he wouldn't have assisted Greg and Tamara, perhaps Henry would never have been lost to Neverland. There would have been no reason to go to that cursed place and there would have been no curse. Emma could have stayed with her family, kept her memories...there would have been no lost year...perhaps Zelina would not have even been able to reach them at all?

Long after most of the men were gone they were finally able to sneak off the ship and they found a room in a nearby inn.

Emma led him into the room, and he failed to even make a suggestive quip. His stunned silence had lasted for hours now and to be honest it was scaring her to death.

'"You should have let me kill him," he finally said, contemplatively.

"Have you completely lost your mind? That was you... you could have caused yourself to have never met me or maybe you wouldn't have been able to kill yourself at all. I don't know Killian, I don't know how this works, but it seems like a really bad idea to try to kill your past self!"

Killian pondered this latest information for a moment before realizing that she was probably right, he probably couldn't kill his past self, it created an inconceivable loop that made his head ache. "Perhaps I can't, but you can."

"Excuse me?"

"You could kill him, think of how much could have changed, perhaps things would be better. You would still have your magic, Henry would have never been taken to Neverland..."

"I would be dead, are you forgetting the part of this trip where I drowned in the ocean when I first arrived?"

"No Swan, this entire ... world ... this line of events... It may never come to fruition if you kill him. Pan would not have been cursed, your family never sent back to the Enchanted forrest. This is it Swan."

"Or perhaps it does happen, and we both end up dead."

"One way to find out, Swan, try it. If doing so would lead to your own death you will not succeed. I think perhaps I'm figuring out this circular logic thing."

"I think perhaps you've completely lost your mind."

"Just think about it, Swan-"

"No, I will not think about it, it's insane."

"Why not? One pirate for a chance to prevent any of this from ever happening?"

"I will not because I don't want to think about it!" She yelled at him in frustration, "I don't want to think about a world where I've never met you." Killian stopped his frantic pacing and turned his eyes to her making her flinch with the intensity of his gaze. "Besides," she said hurriedly, "we don't even know if it would help. It could make things worse for all we know." She positioned herself to stand directly in front of him putting her hands on his shoulder until he looked at her. "Look, I know your head is all screwed up right now you need to come back to me and start thinking straight if we're ever going to get out of here."

"Aye, you're right... But Swan, what if this is it? What if this is your only way home?"

"It's not."

He opened his mouth and Emma punched him in the nose before he could say another word. He reeled back clasping it tightly looking up at her in confusion, "I swear Hook, one more word about it and I will murder this version of you instead.

Killian nodded and smiled slightly, "Thanks Swan, I think I needed that. Certainly deserved it..."

"So, what now?"

He released his nose and pulled a small piece of paper from his pocket. "Borrowed this from myself, who borrowed it from someone else. I think it's about time we checked to make sure nothing else in this timeline has gotten altered, don't you think?"

"Sure but how do you suppose we should go do that?"

"I think we're going to the engagement ball of Prince not-yet-Charming and Princess Abigail." Emma grabbed the invitation from his hand, eyes pouring over it. "Oh ...that's not good. We have to go, we have to find out what's happening! This is not good at all..."

"In fact, it's wonderful, you're going to have to wear a ball gown, Lady..." he glanced down at the paper, "Vivian."

"My father is getting married to someone who is not my mother and you're thinking about what I'm going to wear?"

"Well your mother isn't here. In her honor I can not let you attend that ball in anything but the best."

"I left my debit card in another time zone, Killian."

"Well then, isn't it fortunate for you that you didn't forget your pirate?"


	11. No Time Like the Present: The Dance

"I told you you'd make a hell of a pirate."

"This doesn't make me a pirate."

The sound of wheels were rapidly approaching from behind them and they glanced backward before Killian whispered "Just get them to stop, love, I'll take care of the rest. Do try to have fun with it," then he slipped off the road with a smirk.

Emma ran her hands through her hair to be sure it was thoroughly mussed before settling down dead center of the road.

The carriage came to a stop and two men emerged drawing swords. "Miss, We're going to need you to get out of the road."

"I'm so sorry, my horse threw me and ran off, I tried to walk but I can't seem to stand on my right ankle."

The men glanced at each other and one spoke up "I'm sorry, but we don't take passengers along this road, there are too many thieves in these parts."

"Oh, I understand," Emma said sweetly, "My fiancé will be back at any moment, he is chasing down the horse. But perhaps one of you could assist me to get to the side of the road?"

One of the men stepped forward offering his arm and he and Emma limped to the side of the road.

"Thank you so much, kind sir, I won't forget your kindness."

The men glanced back at each other guiltily before climbing back into the carriage and driving off.

"Well played, love, who knew there was such a convincing damsel in distress underneath that leather jacket."

"Next time you get to be the damsel and I'm doing the lift," she said with a glare as Killian tossed her two leather pouches.

"Shall we find you something more appropriate to wear before someone realizes you are dressed like a man under that cloak."

* * *

"This is a terrible idea."

"This was your idea, Swan."

"I changed my mind, this is absurd. Look at this dress." Emma turned back and forth uncomfortably trying to see herself in the tiny mirror of the room they had leased for their preparations within a short ride of Midas' gilded castle. (Killian had hardly survived the knowing smirk the innkeeper gave him when he announced that they would only need the room for an hour.)

"Oh, love, I most certainly am."

"Why do I have to wear the stupid dress, and you still get to wear the...pirate clothes."

"Everything I wear is 'pirate clothes,' by definition... Besides, we are trying to blend in... I would look far to striking in that dress to accomplish our goal."

Emma turned a venomous glare towards Killian. "Can't we just...fight a dragon instead...do they have dragons here?"

Killian laughed, "Wouldn't want to singe that lovely dress now would we. Besides, if you had a better idea I suspect you would have announced it before turning highway bandit."

Emma glared again making Killian laugh once more "Oh, darling that is not a very lady like mood."

"I'm not a lady, so that works out."

"No, you are a princess, isn't this kind of thing in your blood."

"I'd prefer this in my blood," Emma scoffed, stealing Killian's flask and taking a swig."All right, I'll wear the dress, do the stupid hair thing but that's it. No dancing, we'll just watch from the sidelines ok?"

"Not a chance, darling. You and I both know that the best way to monitor a room without being spotted yourself is the dance." He gave a small bow and extended his hand, "so if you would."

Emma took Killian's hand grudgingly and he pulled her tight, perhaps tighter than was strictly speaking necessary. She could feel the chill of his hook pressing against her lower back. "If you stab me with that thing, I swear I will shoot you when we get home."

Killian opened his mouth to say something that would most likely be wildly inappropriate and Emma stomped on his foot hard.

"Bloody hell lass."

"Oops." Emma said with a wicked grin.

"Who knew being with the good guys would be so painful?" Killian moaned.

"Oh don't be a baby," Emma said, "So how does this work?"

"Am I to understand that Emma Swan, daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming, product of true love and Princess of the Enchanted Forest does not know how to dance?"

"Was I somehow unclear on the, 'I will shoot you' part of this conversation."

"Fear not, milady, for you need only follow my lead." The music from the common area downstairs drifted lazily up into the room. He pulled her forward as he stepped back and Emma grudgingly followed as they moved in time to the music.

"You're not following, darling," Killian whispered as he tried to turn her towards the door.

"It's not a strong suit of mine."

"Think of it as... letting me do the work, you just stay with me, and watch the crowd." They spun through the room and Emma glanced up at him. "I know it's hard love, but you'll do better surveillance if you can keep your eyes off of my -Ow, Swan, you did that on purpose."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"What are you going to do if you see your father?"

"Avoid him at all costs, we just need to see what if anything has changed. If everything seems right we are out of here."

"And how will you know if everything is right?"

"Well...If my father is giving longing glances at anyone that is not my mother we'll take it as a sign that things are not right..."

"You know I could make my life so much easier if I introduce myself to Charming now, perhaps as his future son in law?"

"Do you have a death wish?"

"No, just a newfound sense of certainty that you will not carry out your threats. It would be rather counter productive to kill the man you just saved from the clutches of death not two days ago."

"Don't make me regret it!"

"I owe you my life, Swan, in more ways than one. I don't ever plan on making you regret that."

Suddenly Emma realized they were no longer dancing, instead just standing and talking with her arm on his shoulder and his clasped around her waist. Emma pulled away rapidly and Killian released her.

"Can we not do this right now?" Emma sighed.

"Talking? As we can speak to no one else in this timeline I think it would be rather boring if we stopped speaking to each other."

"Everyone has been taken away from me, my parents, Henry multiple times, I keep finding them and then getting separated again-"

"Your magic gives you the power to protect your family," Killian muttered. "When I hit that water, I knew it was all over, I knew you would let me go. Why didn't you?"

"I couldn't let you die. That's not what the good guys do."

"Indeed? It was too high a price, love."

"No. I can't lose anyone else... I can't get too close-" she cut herself off and Killian stepped toward her, eyes widening in sudden understanding.

"I know, Swan, that I understand."

"Don't pretend to understand me, every time I get close to someone they are ripped away. Graham and Neal ... they both died in my arms. Magic...this life... It takes everything. I have to go back to New York, I have to get away before it takes everything I have left. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"Yes."

She looked up, surprise and anger filling her features. "What?"

"It's about time you admit to yourself why you want to leave. You're afraid. You want to cut yourself off so that no one is left that can hurt you by leaving. You think I don't know what that's like? My own brother died in my arms, Swan. Twice, actually. I didn't let anyone in for years. When I finally did, she was ripped away too. I know the temptation to go cold. And I can't let you do what I did. It nearly destroyed me Swan, it nearly turned me into the demon that I wished to destroy. You saw the monster it created..."

Emma turned away from his gaze, too intent, too knowing.

"You don't have to say anything, love, just please don't shut me out."

"If I had succeeded in shutting you out, Zelena wouldn't have tried to kill you."

"That was not your choice." He sighed, "If I had left Milah behind, she may have lived to see her son grown. We all have things that weigh on our souls, but we can't block out the good for fear of the evil. We have to take the good things while we can."

"My father said something like that once."

"Well apparently he has his moments of insight."

"We should go, or we'll be late for the ball." She laughed suddenly, "Now that's not something I ever thought I would say."

"Your mother will be very upset she missed your first ball." Killian smiled, trying to lighten the mood and pry out one of Emma's elusive smiles.

It worked."Perhaps we'd best keep this a secret when we return."

"Don't worry, love, I never kiss and tell."

"Well technically you did-"

"Oh that hardly counts, it was the bloody echo cave. Now, come, let's go. And do try and enjoy it."

Emma laughed, taking Killian's outstretched hand and letting him lead her from the inn. Perhaps this could be fun after all.


	12. No Time Like The Present: The Ball!

**No Time Like the Present: The ball!**

* * *

Emma would never admit it, but the dress did make her feel like a princess. But it wasn't just the dress. It was the colors and the lights. The music and the way Killian kept his hand on the small of her back as they walked through the crowd. Her mother was right, and it did feel like a fairytale. She found herself laughing freely, but it was just because she wanted to fit in... this was surveillance. Just a brightly colored stakeout. She monitored the room diligently, keeping her eyes open for any sign of her father. He did not appear, neither did the princess or the king present themselves in the room. Finally Killian left her side for a moment, moving towards one of the ladies standing by herself.

"Milady, you really must leave immediately," he told her with a charming smile.

The women's eyebrows furrowed at him and she asked him why.

"Princesses don't like to be outshone, love, You are keeping the lady of the hour away."

The lady giggled slightly a pretty flush coloring her cheeks, "Oh, no, she won't be coming. The ball is in their honor, but they shall not arrive until tomorrow evening."

"Oh, good, that's fortunate for you, It's never wise to make royalty jealous." His eyes slipped past her to where Emma was glaring at him. "Speaking of which it appears my lady has caught my wandering eye, it was lovely to meet you darling."

He slipped back to Emma's side and took her arm "Don't be alarmed Emma, she doesn't hold a candle to you."

"Do I look like the jealous type," Emma asked sarcastically, letting him lead her back onto the dance floor.

Her brow furrowed as she tried to follow Killian's lead, feeling like an absolute troll next to all of the beautiful people moving gracefully around her, eventually she began to get a feeling for it and glanced up from her feet to see a wide joyous smile on Killian's face. He was surprisingly at ease in this world. "Did you have many dances on the Jolly Roger," Emma grumbled as he spun her around.

"I was an officer first, darling. I may have changed uniforms but I still recall a thing or two about your world."

"Why would naval officers need to be able to dance?" Emma asked curiously, getting distracted and almost colliding with another pair of dancers, before Killian pulled her back.

"You really must learn to follow, love, I promise I'll not let you fall. As to your question, an officer incapable of showing a lady a good time is hardly worth his salt. There was a time when fathers would line up to have their daughters married off to good respectable officers like myself."

"What a relief you must feel to have escaped!" she teased.

"Indeed, princesses with cutlasses are few and far between. I only had to wait three centuries to find one of my own."

The music was wonderful and Emma spun and danced until she was out of breath and giddy, all smiles, having completely forgotten for the moment that there was no need for further surveillance.

"Do you trust me, Swan?" He asked.

A suspicious look crossed her face and Killian pressed on, "try something new, darling?"

The look did not entirely leave her eyes but finally she nodded ever so slightly.

Suddenly he pulled her close to him and dipped her backwards admiring the lovely arch of her back as she laughed. Leaning over her he murmured "I told you I wouldn't let you fall."

When he pulled her upright again she clung tightly to him to get her balance back and he smiled, "Careful, my Swan, you are almost letting yourself be happy," Killian mumbled in her ear.

"I'm taking the good moment," she said with another dazzling smile.

Killian twirled her around and brought her close again whispering in her ear "You should smile more often, it's a lovely sight.

She laughed and stumbled a bit, dizzy from the spinning. "I think I'm a bit...dizzy," Emma told him leaning her head on his shoulder while her world stabilized. "We should go anyway," Emma sighed without pulling out of his arms, "we have to be sure things go the way they should, we have to get out to the troll bridge tomorrow morning."

"As the lady insists," Killian answered leading her from the hall. A man brushed through the door knocking into Emma as she exited, the man turned to apologize and suddenly Killian felt Emma's fingers dig into his arm.

"Will you accept my apologies, Milady?"

Emma clenched her teeth and smiled though Killian could still feel the trembling of her arm in his.

"Of course," she said and Killian could hear the tightness in her voice. He glanced up at the man who was affecting her so. He didn't seem to recognize Emma as he maintained a neutral expression. He was a huntsman, one of the queen's guard, tall with dark hair. "Make it up to me with a dance while Killian gets the carriage?" Emma asked, pulling her arm from Killian's.

Killian raised his eyebrows but nodded at the man's inquiring look. The man led Emma back into the ballroom. Their carriage was already waiting so Killian simply stood by watching in confusion as the man led Swan around the floor. She did not smile and his movements were tense and mechanical. Everything about Emma's posture radiated discomfort, but they spoke easily as they danced. A few minutes later the man returned her to Killian's side with a small bow and Killian helped Emma into the carriage. The moment the doors closed Emma threw herself into Killian's arms silent tears streaming down her cheek with each shuddering breath.

"Swan, what's wrong, did he hurt you?" His voice was rough but he held her gently.

Emma shook her head but tears continued to fall down her cheeks.

"Darling as much as I may desire the opportunity to hold you, this is not exactly what I had in mind, please tell me what's wrong. Can I do something?"

"That man..."

"The Queen's huntsman?" Killian prodded her to continue.

"I knew him as Graham."

For a moment Killian was silent trying to place the name, before realizing that he had heard it once before. Neal and Graham the two men who had died in her arms. He tightened his grip on her trying to imagine how difficult it would be to see Milah again knowing that he would just have to lose her all over again.

"I shouldn't have spoken to him, what if I changed something?"

"Won't he... remember you now?"

Emma shook her head sadly. "She killed him. I kissed him and his memories returned...but the moment they did she crushed his heart."

"Oh, Emma, I'm so sorry.", he knew no words would help, so he just held her tight as the carriage carried them back to their inn, stroking his fingers through her hair until the trembling stopped. He led her into the inn again and set her down gently on the bed, crouching in front of her, "Swan I-" he paused still uncertain what to say and he sighed, "try to sleep, love. I know it doesn't seem like it but you will feel better in the morning." She reached out and took his hand and he gave it a tight squeeze before she released it. Killian dropped into the armchair next to the bed and sat down. He ached to hold her as he had in the carriage but she had turned away from him... apparently she wanted to be alone now. Killian watched over her until her shaking quieted and her breathing evened out, before eventually dozing off into a fitful sleep himself.

His eyes snapped opened when whimpers of pain reached his ears and he leaped up reaching for his cutlass. As his mind cleared of the fog of sleep he saw Emma curled in on herself and caught whispered words of "Come back to me, please come back to me." His heart clenched as he watched her, the pain she was feeling an achingly familiar wound. A fiery mixture of jealousy and sympathy filled him as he imagined Emma holding the huntsman as he had held his Milah, begging him to come back to her. If she stayed asleep it was possible that she would not remember the dream, so he let her be, every whispered pleading of "come back to me," tearing yet another hole in his heart. Finally her eyes opened and he moved to sit next to her on the bed.

"It does get easier love. It never gets easy, but-"

He didn't get to finish the sentence before she launched herself from the bed and locked her arms around him with a strangled cry of "you're here, you're still here."

"Of course Swan, Where else would I go?"

"Don't go, Killian. Please, stay with me?"

He nodded and wrapped his arms around her again. She settled comfortably into his side, head laying gently over his heart. "I'm sorry you had to go through that, love. And you know I mean every word when I say no one should have to watch the one they love lose their heart."

Emma stiffened and was silent for a moment before she whispered ever so softly, "It was you, Killian. I thought you were gone, I thought it was too late. I'm always too late." She heard his heart begin to race when he heard her words though he didn't speak for a moment. Finally he placed a light kiss on her forehead.

"You saved me, love, just in time. We'll always protect each other Emma, you don't have to be alone anymore, you never have to be alone."

When they woke Emma was still wrapped tightly in Killian's arms. She gently pulled herself away but didn't speak. Killian was grateful for that at least, because if she said anything it would probably be to inform him that it was a one time thing ... again. And he wasn't sure how many more of these one time things his heart could stand.

They were quiet as they headed out towards the troll road, until Emma asked him if he needed a break. She laughed when he replied that he would be happy to provide a demonstration of his stamina whenever she desired and they fell back into normality. If there is one thing Killion Jones was getting unfortunately good at, it was pretending there was nothing happening with Emma Swan. As they approached the road they heard a sound. Dismounting, Killian put one finger to his lips moving sideways on the road. Emma continued normally as Killian snuck up on whoever had been watching them. Finally she heard a crash from behind a set of trees followed by Killian's voice.

"Swan, I think you're going to want to take a look at this."

Dismounting herself she headed off the road only to see Grumpy out cold.

"You knocked out Grumpy...are you even trying with this whole not affecting the past thing..."

"Oh come on love, he came at me with and ax, what did you expect me to do?"

Emma curst seeing the ax on the ground.

"Killian, he was trying to cut down the tree that's going to stop my father's carriage ... so that he could meet my mother..."

"Oops," Killian said sheepishly, " I guess I'm going to have to cut down a tree now, then, lass?"

"And I suggest you hurry!"

They alternated until they had cut most of the way through the tree, probably taking significantly longer than it would've taken Grumpy. Finally with a concerted effort they pushed the tree down over the road.

It wasn't long before they heard wheels on the road followed by a shrill scream of thief!

Emma and Killian disappeared into the woods returning to their horses while trying to stifle their laughter.

"Well at this point I'm pretty much your father's ultimate, what did he call it, winged-man?" Killian commented to Emma who had to cover her mouth to prevent her laughter from escaping.

"Having fun, dearies?" came a familiar voice.

Emma and Killian turned and found themselves face-to-face with the dark one.

* * *

**AN: you tired of me yet? This is what happens when you combine a grad student with microscopy experiments and a smart phone with voice dictation. **


	13. No Time Like The Present:No Place Like

**AN: So I'm ignoring the sneak peaks ... just so you know. I'll be having them interact with Rumple via my own head cannon until the new episode airs. Though, not so very difficult motivations. In that way I suppose he's a rather predictable character.**

**And without further ado: **

**There's No Time Like the Present: No Place Like Home.**

* * *

Emma and Killian disappeared into the woods returning to their horses while trying to stifle their laughter.

"Well at this point I'm pretty much your father's ultimate, what did he call it, winged-man?" Killian commented to Emma who had to cover her mouth to prevent her laughter from escaping.

"Having fun, dearies?" came a familiar voice.

Emma and Killian turned and found themselves face-to-face with the Dark One.

"I see you've come out of your hole captain, have you finally figured out how to kill me?"

"Aye, that I have," Killian responded, voice tense and Emma put her hand on his arm gently.

The Dark One laughed, "You never did have very good follow through."

"Don't tempt me, crocodile," Killian growled.

"Naughty pirate, not playing by the rules...Fortunately for you, you never did know how to play by the rules...so round and round and round we go."

"What do you want, G- Rumpelstiltskin?" Emma asked irritably.

"Oh don't slip up... people might think you're a witch. Are you a witch, dearie?"

"Enough with these games, what do you want?"

"Only your name, little witch, just a name."

"Go to hel-" Suddenly Emma quieted and coughed. Hook glanced over at her just in time to see her buckle over coughing and choking as water spilled from her mouth.

"Let her go!" Killian cried, charging forward, then falling into the mud when a familiar pressure on his back forced him skidding to the ground. "Oh this is familiar, isn't it pirate? Tell me, pirate, can she save herself? Is she a little witch after all? How does this work again...if she dies she's innocent if she lives she's guilty? Come on dearie, show me what you've got, save yourself."

"She can't, damn you," Killian yelled fighting against the pressure already knowing it would not release him. Emma collapsed next to him and Killian reached toward her just barely brushing her cheek with the tips of his fingers. Tears sprung to his eyes as her struggles slowed before finally something clicked into place.

"Without her you've no hope of ever finding Baelfire again." Rumpelstiltskin waved his hand lazily releasing her, the water clearing from her lungs in a moment. Emma shakily pulled herself onto her hands and knees glancing at him with a slight nod to tell him she was alright.

Rumplestiltskin watched Hook for a moment before finally he spat out "I don't trust pirates," he glanced back at Emma, "And I want to see what the little witch can do. Perhaps she's not been properly motivated...perhaps something a little old-fashioned?" In an explosion of smoke Emma found herself tied to a stake flames licking at the wood nearer feet. She recoiled, pulling at her bound hands viciously.

"Screw you," she yelled, "You think I don't know better than to tell Rumpelstiltskin my name?" The Dark One sighed and waved his hand again and though Emma continued to yell her words were silent. "I don't need _you_ to speak, dearie" he said with a cold laugh as he turned to Killian. "So, pirate, if she truly can't save herself... perhaps you'd like the opportunity to assist her. I'm feeling benevolent this time."

Killian stiffened, hatred blooming in his chest as Rumpelstiltskin giggled. "A name pirate, or do you wish to wait until after you smell burning flesh?"

"Bloody demon," Killian growled, his eyes locked on the flames licking at the wood near Emma's feet. Maybe he was bluffing, but Killian couldn't bear to gamble with Emma's life. "Emma, it's Emma, now let her go." The flames sizzled out and Killian felt the pressure release as Rumpelstiltskin pondered the name.

"Emma? Emma. Emma... Emma...Lovely Emma. Tell me Emma, does it work?"

"Does what work?" Emma asked suspiciously.

"I can see the curse ... but I can't ... see... through it. I don't know how you did it dearie, but I know where you come from. So tell me if it works or I'll leave you for carrion fodder."

"You can't harm her," Killian said confidently, "not if you ever want to see him again."

Rumpelstiltskin pondered for a moment humming to himself. "It works then? I find Bae?"

"Not without her," Killian repeated.

Rumpelstiltskin cocked his head to one side and approached Emma looking her over carefully. "Emma..." he muttered again before he giggled again and vanished as suddenly as he had appeared. Killian moved to release Emma's hands and help her from the smoldering pile of debris.

"Why did you say that? Our job is to get out of here without changing anything."

"It is true, isn't it? You led him to Bae in New York, It seemed pretty clear that he wasn't certain of the details. Hell, even I'm not sure I can follow our bloody timeline sometimes."

"I'm starting to get the feeling that we should have stayed on that island...all we've managed to do is do things that we apparently have already done and almost get killed repeatedly. And we're no closer to figuring out how to get home..." Hook led her to a nearby stream so she could wash the soot from her arms and hands but she hesitated, "I think I'm getting a little sick of the water...you?" Emma muttered. She glanced sideways to see Killian had already stripped his dark tunic off and was washing the mud from it and his torso. She suddenly became very very interested in washing the dirt and soot from her own arms.

"Never," he replied easily wringing his shirt out in the cool water and then shaking it loose again as he stood.

"Really...you can't tell me after everything that's happened you'd be happy to jump on another boat again?"

"Aye, lass, nothing would give me greater pleasure... Well, almost nothing..."

_Dammit, he's doing it again. _She glanced at him as she dried her hands on her cloak. She shouldn't stare... but she probably was, and he was watching her just as intently. _And he knows he's doing it again...he really needs to put that damn shirt back on._

"The sea is like a fickle woman, Swan, and after 300 years I've had water in my lungs a fair few times. My love lives on despite the fact that she keeps trying to kill me!"

"I'm honestly not sure why you're still here," she said with a sigh.

He raised his eyebrows, "because we haven't found a way home yet?"

"That's not what I meant and you know it."

"Perhaps I'd like to hear you elaborate."

Emma laughed bitterly, "You think I don't know...I've got walls about 1000 miles high and I'm terrified of letting anyone in. I can't even call my parents mom and dad, they would love it, I know it would mean a lot but I can't do it. If I can't even let them in..."

"You already have, love."

Emma raised her eyebrows inquiringly.

"I called my father by his title when I was very young, I also called him a bloody bastard." He chuckled coldly and Emma realized that she knew very little about Killian's long history when she actually thought about it. "I saw you in the hospital, love. So you don't call your parents mom and dad... You are family, they know it, and they love you."

"Yeah well, it's not like they really have a choice, is it, they're my parents."

"Bullocks! Your parents gave you up to save you, never losing hope that you would come back to them. You gave up your own son to give him his best shot. You think that's a default parental position? They have a choice, as I have a choice and we're all still here."

He grabbed her hand and Emma stared up at him eyes wide, "Swan, God, Swan, If you'd stop running away for long enough to glance back you'd see that they're not going anywhere, I'm not going anywhere. I'll follow you back to bloody New York and drag you back to your family kicking and screaming if that's what if takes, Emma, because you are happy in Storybrooke. You lit up the whole damn hospital with that elusive smile of yours and I won't let you throw that away!"

"Killian, please stop-" His impassioned eyes fell and she watched him close in on himself again.

He sighed, "Now that's something that ladies rarely tell me."

She had not noticed, never before had she realized that he had walls too. Innuendo and arrogance that let him hide from her constant rejection. But she could see it now, the man behind the walls whose heart was breaking yet again. And it was her fault. Her stomach clenched and she reached out and placed a hand softly on his cheek leaning forward ever so slightly.

"I was just trying to protect myself and I didn't realize I...I've hurt you. And you keep coming back..."

"Aye... Well, I can take it, Swan."

"I don't want-"

"I am very conscious of what you do not want. Come on, darling, I'm not sure where we are going but standing here is unlikely to get you any closer to your boy."

He turned, slipping his tunic back on, but then she reached out and grabbed him, pulling him back towards her again and stepping forward. He raised his eyebrows the tunic arm falling, forgotten, down his shoulder. This time she didn't drag him to her. Just placed her arm gently on the back of his neck while she looked up at him. Her fingers played lightly with his hair as she raised her other arm tentatively towards his chest. _What was she doing?_ At the last second she backtracked, redirecting the hand she had intended to place on his chest and instead allowing it to rest lightly on the necklace that hung from his neck. His good arm slipped down toward her hip pulling her forward until all that remained between them was heat. She leaned forward, the space remaining between them suddenly too much to bear and she paused, forehead meeting his and their noses no more than a breath away. She breathed out and he breathed in, frozen as she scrutinized his eyes. Now looking for the lie in his actions rather than his words. She saw nothing but truth. Earnestness, yearning and love poured from his too intense eyes and her own gaze softened. She leaned forward that last tiny movement and kissed him, feeling his arms tighten around her as he met her lips gently. Finally her walls and his were gone at the same time, and they could see one another clearly. He sighed in relief, the breath filling her with life and strength and power.

"Emma?" came a familiar voice and she pulled away from Killian reluctantly, still held tight in his arms as she looked past him. Mary-Margaret was staring at her in shock. Emma glanced around Granny's diner, shock in her own gaze still pressed tight to Killian who made no move to release her from his arms.

"Pirate?" came a significantly less friendly voice and Emma turned toward her father who seemed much more perturbed by the fact that the pirate was kissing his daughter than the fact that they just appeared in the middle of Granny's.

Emma pulled away as Killian loosened his hold on her, throwing herself into her mother's arms. Killian quickly moved to button up his wet tunic...for all the good it would do.

"We're back, I didn't think I'd ever see you again."

Snow hugged her back gently confusion in her eyes, "I'm glad to see you too Emma...but you just left a few minutes ago. How did you do that, you were just suddenly here."

"You know I love you right, mom, dad, you know-"

Snow's eyes widened in joy and she beamed at her daughter. "Oh, Emma, Of course, I love you too. Don't think that's getting you out of talking about the other part of your grand entrance though." Charming came over to them placing his arms around both of them.

"What happened, Emma? Why are you all wet?" Snow asked.

"More importantly," Charming commented tersely, "why is he all wet too?"

"Her spell, Zelena's spell it worked, we were stuck in the past, I didn't think we would ever get back and then-"

Snow's eyes widened, "True love's kiss..." she said breathlessly, turning her gaze to Killian in surprise.

Charming opened his mouth to speak and Snow jabbed him with her elbow releasing her daughter to go stand in front of Killian. Killian tore his eyes from Emma as Snow approached preparing to be scolded again.

"We owe you an apology, Killian," Snow said gently and Killian's eyebrows went up in surprise.

"No need," Killian said, "I hid things from you..."

"You certainly did," Snow commenting glancing back at her daughter. "I'm sorry Killian, I didn't know it was... I didn't know." She turned toward Charming with a stern look and he nodded half heartedly grumbling "You hurt her I'll still shoot you in the face."

"It's true love, Charming, you know that's quite unnecessary," to Killian's surprise Snow reached up and hugged him gently before pulling away, excitement in her eyes. "Come, both of you, sit and tell us everything."

Killian smiled as Mary Margaret pulled him over to the table. "Well, your majesty, you might like to know that Emma looked stunning for her first ball."

Snow gasped in delight and Emma glared at him over her shoulder as they all sat down in the booth.

This is home, Emma realized suddenly, surprise and elation and nervousness passing through her in rapid succession. Killian was telling Snow in great detail about the ball but as he spoke his eyes drifted back to Emma and he took her hand under the table, rubbing calming circles on the back of her hand.

She was home.

* * *

**AN: **

**I based their kiss on a drawing by Cracks-in-the-Glass on Tumbler (cracks-in-the-glass . tumblr . com ), Click on the tab "my stuff" and it will take you right to it! It's a stunningly beautiful and powerful drawing and absolutely everyone should go look at it! I see you thinking about just closing the tab. Don't do it, trust me. Everyone means you. Go. Now. Try not to drool ... or faint...or melt into a puddle on the floor. It won't work, but you can certainly try.**

**I hoped you like it. Let me know what you think about all this time travel messiness! Makes my head hurt. (Makes Hook's head hurt too...or his nose at least... ) ****  
**

**Good luck, I we don't survive the feels on Sunday it has been an honor to write for you!**


	14. Emersion

**OK, as much as I love this scene for it's 'awww' properties, I thought both Emma and Hook were a bit uncharacteristically useless in the drowning scene for several reasons. No attempts by Emma to use Magic to deal with the problem and... Really Hook? I'm sorry 'excel at surviving' did not exactly come through. ****I think to survive for as long as he has he's really got to be a bit more observant than that...Like we all didn't know what was coming as soon as we saw a random container of water in the middle of a field.**

****Also, what kind of pirate panics and flails about in the water for 15 seconds before calling it quits. **Even with struggling to escape pretty much anyone can last longer than that. Not to mention that 'resuscitation' would have done nothing but make fangirls melt... So I thought I would play with some variations on the scene that seem a little more in character for them. **

* * *

_Emersion: The act of emerging, or of rising out of something; as, emersion from the sea; emersion from obscurity or difficulties._

* * *

"Aww, You two are so adorable but instead of looking for each other, maybe you should be focused on me? Although without magic that could prove to be a challenge."

Killian instantly reached for his cutlass but didn't draw it yet, he knew drawing it would only result in it being thrown across the field... like last time. He needed the element of surprise. He glanced rapidly around the field evaluating their position. The only thing that caught his eye was an old metal trough, probably used to water livestock. He hadn't noticed it there last time...

"Next time you try to take my power why don't you try enchanting the lips of someone I'll actually kiss." Emma spat at the witch and Killian rolled his eyes in spite of himself. Who exactly did she think she was kidding? Even the bloody Wicked Witch could sense the electricity between them.

"See Emma, you've got a decision to make. You can keep your magic which makes you oh so sad, or you can save the life of the man you can't wait to run away from. Rumple?"

While Emma watched the Wicked Witch with confusion Killian's eyes flicked over towards Rumpelstiltskin and the water trough... _Oh Damn-_

Before Killian had time to colorfully elaborate on this statement out loud he felt himself being thrown across the field. He didn't cry out, he was going to need all the oxygen he could get. His head crashed through the chilled water and the impact forced most of the breath he had tried to hold on to out through compressed lungs. He struggled against the unseen power but somewhere in the back of his mind he knew it was a waste of oxygen. He had fought this power before, tried desperately to reach Milah's side, but it was as useless an effort now as it had been then.

Drowning on land. Fitting, in it's own way. He'd always known the water would give him final rest, though this wasn't exactly what he had in mind.

His lungs were begging him to breathe in but he ignored the pain, knowing as soon as water filled his lungs it really was all over, he would black out and leave Emma alone with the witch.

"Hook!" Killian could hear Emma's desperate cries and feel her arms wrap around him trying to free him from the Dark One's grip. It only made things worse. This isn't what he wanted, he wanted to help, not be used against her... Hook... the name echoed in his head and suddenly an idea flashed through his rapidly clouding mind. With all the force he could muster he slammed his hook into the inside wall of the trough. As he pulled it back again a point of light told him he had managed to puncture a hole. He managed one more blow, one more hole before his muscles refused to do anything more and darkness began to creep into his vision.

"Choose wisely." Emma heard the witches gloating tone but ignored it, running to Hook and trying desperately to free him. "Try all you like, you can't free him." She was right of course, magic kept him in place. Suddenly a loud crash redirected her attention back to Killian. A single hole was draining water from the container, followed by another crash, another hole.

The holes were small and there was no way they would drain the tub before Killian was long gone. But if the Dark One's magic held him there, why couldn't light magic free him? Emma hesitated a moment, she had never done anything like this, for all she knew if she tried to move Killian she would just...rip him in half or something. She glanced down at the holes and a small flicker of a smile came to her lips. That's it.

With a wave of her hand a massive portion of the trough wall vanished reappearing in the distance with a loud crash. Water poured from the trough rapidly and Zelena screeched with anger.

Emma tried to pull Killian up out of the now draining water but suddenly he was pulled from her grip. Rumpelstiltskin raised his arms rapidly and Killian and the remaining water in the tub was pulled away, creating a bubble around the pirate just beyond her reach.

Zelena smiled cruelly and Emma turned back her gaze to Killian. His struggles were weakening and Emma knew it wouldn't be long now. Finally he stilled for a moment before a coughing motion sent his body into chaotic spasms. Emma cried out in frustration and a pulse of white light raced toward Rumpelstiltskin. The Dark One fell back, some of the water exploding out from around Killian for a moment before he could gather it back together around him. Emma tried to focus, tried to repeat the attack but she was thrown backwards and Zelena suddenly appeared standing over her.

"Make your choice, Savior." Then she was gone, green smoke the only indication she had been there at all. Green smoke and the limp body of Killian Jones which fell to the ground with a sickening thud as the Dark One vanished. The water that had surrounded him rushed into the ground and drained away like a simple heavy rain.

"Hook?" Emma cried, running towards him and kneeling at his side. Any minute now he would open his eyes and say something absurd about how pirates don't drown on dry land, right?

"Hook?" she repeated, grasping the collar of his coat and shaking him. "Hook, wake up! Killian?"

She shook him harder, hands clenching desperately at his collar. It was so wrong, he was always smirking at her, smiling, laughing, scowling... but always looking at her, always seeing right through her. God, wouldn't he love this? Her clinging to him and hardly holding back tears. He'd tell her he'd known he was growing on her...or that if she wanted a kiss she need only have asked. She would roll her eyes and try not to laugh and...

Now there was nothing, his face was expressionless, his body still. Again. How could she possibly do this again? She hadn't known how to save Graham, she hadn't been able to save Neal... always too late.

"Killian, come back to me," she begged letting her hand drift up to his cheek and run along the stubble on his chin, an intimate gesture that she would not have dared were he not limp and cold on the ground. But he was slipping away, farther away with every precious moment.

Magic should be able to save him right, she wondered if she could magic the water from his lungs somehow but her mind drifted back to the chunk of metal she had ripped from the trough. She had meant to take a neat circle of material from the bottom...clearly she didn't have enough control for that... Perhaps Regina could...but ...

He was still, so still and Emma looked around, searching for help that she knew wasn't coming.

"Son of a bitch," she cursed. Not again. Not this time when there was something she could do about it.

She pinched his nose and lowered her lips to his, hardly noticing the pulse of energy and the feeling of her power draining away. She ignored everything but the sensation of his lips under hers, breathing into him deeply until she could feel his chest rising beneath her.

Nothing.

She waited a few seconds and repeated the gesture forcing air into unresponsive lungs and trying not to notice that his lips were cold, so cold. They shouldn't be so cold.

"Hook, come back to me," she whispered brokenly as she waited, eyes locked on his face. The birds were singing around her, utterly oblivious to the anguished scene below them. One more breath, one more chance. She held her own breath unconsciously, waiting for him to breathe in. He didn't, and when her own lungs begged for release she breathed for him once more.

Finally he shuddered below her and she gasped in relief, pushing his head to one side as water was forced from his lungs. He collapsed back against the dirt gasping for breath in violent shuddering breaths and Emma found herself doing the same wanting nothing more than to collapse in relief against his chest and feel it rising and falling for herself. Just to be sure. Instead she watched him intently, hovering over him as his eyes began to focus on her again.

"Swan?" He asked. Relief, followed by confusion danced through is blue eyes and his fingers flew to his lips. "What did you do?" he asked then cried again louder, "What did you do?" fear rapidly replacing the confusion on his face.

She didn't respond and his face fell.

"No, Swan, no no no ..."

"Just breathe, Killian." She muttered, "It's going to be ok."

He collapsed back again jaw clenched and eyes closing for a moment before he spoke "Your magic...You can't ... You're the savior-"

"And I saved you. Come on, can you sit up?" She put an arm around his back and helped him to rise. He did so slowly his left arm clenched over bruised ribs. When he finally was upright he looked up to Emma, lifting his hand to her cheek with heartbroken eyes.

"I'm sorry, Swan. I'm so sorry, I only wanted to help..."

"We'll figure this out Killian... but we have to go now. Can you walk?"

He nodded, ignoring the sharp bolts of pain shooting from his ribs and the burning from his lungs and throat. His body begged him to stay still, stay still for just a little while, but he stood anyway. Another fit of coughing took him and he leaned against Emma while his lungs attempted to clear the remaining water. When it finally passed he nodded to her and they continued on their way back to the hospital.

Killian didn't speak for the rest of the walk and when Emma looked at him she could see the guilt and pain radiating off him in waves. But what was she supposed to say? Just keep telling him that it was going to be ok? She wasn't sure how it would be herself. Before they entered the hospital she paused for a moment glancing sideways at him again.

"I'm glad you're ok, Killian. We'll figure this out." His jaw tensed and she sighed, making her way into the hospital.

He was alive, and she was alive, and they would find a way.

Somehow.

* * *

**AN: So there, essentially the same scene but this version doesn't make me go..."Oh come on...really guys... you're not going to do...something? Anything? Please?"**


	15. Dog and Butterfly

**Nouqueret suggested a scene which I decided to modify and add to something very short that I had already written. I pulled down the original and posted the updated version here for you guys. So if you read my story "Dog and Butterfly," then the opening scene will be a bit familiar. Where it goes from there is the addition inspired by Nouqueret's idea (much obliged, you are a wonderful muse!) The italics are thought of in the style of a memory as the rest of the story takes place in current time. **

* * *

_"Hey, Pirate?" Emma called, hoping onto the deck of the ship._

_Hook scowled and called back. "Where are your manners, Princess? It's courteous to ask permission, is it not?"_

_She internally laughed at the title, Princess. Perhaps it was the mental image of a fluffy pink dress that accompanied the word Princess in her mind. She quieted her laugh and attempted a glare. Spinning on her heels she turned back in the direction she came from mumbling something about damn pirates and knowing when she wasn't welcome. A hooked arm caught her wrist and spun her back toward him._

_"Fortunately for you, I did once tell you not to stand on ceremony. So permission is more or less...implied." Hook told her. _

_The Princess and the pirate. She didn't even realize how absurd it was. _Sure, the princess wore leather and the pirate was a man of honor, but still, somehow, every time he remembered that she was, in fact, a princess it made him want to laugh. _She grew up as an orphan. She wore red leather and dueled pirates on the beach. Her son called her a superhero. She cursed more than he did and chained gentlemen to walls when they approached hers. One hell of a Princess..._

_Hook inhabited the oceans and Swan soared in the sky ... A Princess might fall for a pirate, but a hero could never fall in love with a villain. They were as separated as their elements, inexorably isolated._

_He tried to soar. He flew, quite literally, to Neverland for no other reason than because it was what she needed. Took the bloody crocodile with him. The weight of his lifelong quest began to lift, and yet he still felt himself listing. He carried too much weight. One more drink and perhaps he wouldn't notice anymore._

_"Good," she replied, "because I'm getting claustrophobic in this tiny town."_

_"Claustrophobic, love?"_

_She carried the weight too. The regret she felt for leaving her son behind all those years ago, of being abandoned herself too many times. She nodded, head held high, daring him to comment._

_"It's driving me crazy, Mary Margaret and David keep giving each other come hither eyes, and Henry's acting odd... he's at Regina's and I have the day off and I just want to get out of here for a while."_

_"Are you asking me to take you away, darling? Just how do you know that I will bring you back?" Hook asked._

_Emma's smile flickered a bit but she kept her head raised. "Because I've locked you up before, and you know I could just do it again and bring myself back, " she said, fishing the (apparently ever-present) cuffs from her jacket pocket._

_Hook sighed, eying the dangling cuffs. "I do wish you would put your mind to more creative use, Swa..."_

_"So," she cut him off, "ready for an adventure?"_

_"As your majesty insists," he replied with a mock bow, glancing back up at her with a wry smile. "Might I make one request?" She raised her eyebrows suspiciously as he continued. "Perhaps you would inform your esteemed father that this was on your volition before he feels the need to punch me...again."_

_"Aye, Captain," she mocked._

_"Also, if you also wish to call me Captain for the duration of your -"_

_"Don't push it, Hook."_

_"To your station, sailer." He teased, ignoring her glare._

_They didn't go far, but Emma insisted on going far enough to lose sight of the shoreline. Emma visibly relaxed as the ocean surrounded them. It was a clear day, the oceans deep blue balanced with the lighter blue grey of the sky. With a sigh, she inclined her face to the sun and Hook watched as the wind took Emma's hair._

_"You reconsidering, Swan?"_

_"Do we have to do this now" she said in an exasperated tone, "I told you, it was just a one-time thing and-"_

_"I was referring to your stance on piracy, I still think you'd make a hell of a pirate." Hook laughed as crimson colored her cheeks. "But, since you brought it up -"_

_She recovered quickly, approaching the helm with a smirk on her face that caused him to lose focus on what he was doing quite efficiently. Placing one hand on the wheel she leaned toward him. "I told you, you couldn't handle it."_

_"Did you, love, perhaps you could refresh my memory as to why?"_

_"Sorry, Killian, no driving under the influence." His eyes widened slightly at the name and Emma looked slightly surprised herself, taking a step back. "We should head back -" Emma said._

_"Why is that, darling?"_

_"It will be dark soon."_

_"Not for hours yet."_

_"Henry might be worried."_

_"He's with Regina, and you're happy here. Relax."_

_"I can't, I'm hungry."_

_"Now that one I can do something about. Reef the sails, my love, and we'll get something to eat."_

_Her heart nearly stopped. She wasn't his love, she wasn't anybody's love. She wasn't anyone's. But he said it so lightly, and he was already gone using his pulley system to wrap the sails so they could drift for a bit. She shook the feeling away and got to work. In no time the sails were tied securely and Hook disappeared below deck emerging in a few minutes with what appeared to be some kind of sausage, cheese and, of course, a full flask._

_"You didn't give me much time to prepare a picnic, darling, but you're accustomed to this by now" he said, indicating the food stores. "We can eat below if -"_

_"No," she said quickly. "I need...I like the open air."_

_He nodded but didn't approach. She was sitting on the spot, that spot... He sat on the other side of the deck, "Over here, love, if you don't mind."_

_She laughed, "Something wrong with this side of the deck?"_

_His eyes darkened but he smiled half-heartedly. "My ship, Swan." She looked at him suspiciously for a moment before her eyes widened slightly and she came to join him muttering a quiet "I see..."_

_"Of course you do," Hook said with a smile that didn't reach his eyes._

_"Thank you." She broke into his melancholy as he handed her some food._

_"It's just cheese, Emma."_

_"That's not what I meant."_

_"I know."_

_"You usually do."_

_Of course he did, he reflected, glancing out over the water. He understood her, as she understood him. Now that he thought about it...he'd always been more of a sea-dog than a fish, and his Swan liked it here - on the horizon where the ocean met the sky. Balanced together where their elements met. He smiled again, and this time it brightened his darkened eyes._

* * *

Emma remembered what it felt like, the wind in her hair, the smell of salt. The feeling of freedom when there is no land to be seen in any direction.

Once, a long time ago, she had asked him to take her away for the day, to help her escape the pressures of being the savior; and so he did. He took her out on the Jolly and for a few hours everything was fine. Then there had been another curse and a wicked witch, because of course things weren't actually fine...But while she was out with him with nothing in sight she could fly. She was free.

And he gave it all up.

To bring her _home_.

Perhaps that's why she kissed him. She understood with perfect clarity what he had given up to give her _home._

As always she leaned into him first and he received her easily, hardly moving except for to wrap an arm around her as their lips met. He pulled away a breath and she could feel the slightest hint of a smile playing over his lips before he leaned back in. Emma waited for the fear to come, the panic; but it never did. He leaned into her further, pulling her closer until she practically sat on his lap as they kissed. It was a different kind of kiss than he had experienced in centuries. It had always been heat and passion. An inferno that scalded him for a night until he moved on, but this was different. She was different. Neverland had been a taste of that inferno, and to this day he wasn't entirely certain how much of that kiss hadn't just been one more challenge from Emma, just to see what he would do. Now his fingertips grazed her cheek and he held her chin; he cradled her head and brushed his fingers through her hair. This kiss was gentleness and cherishing, loosing themselves in the feeling of the other.

Emma pulled away for a moment and stared at him. He was hypnotized by her lips and a moment later she smiled. A beautiful, real smile that lit up her whole face and his by proximity.

He did that, he realized. He brought out that beautiful smile and it was almost unbelievable.

She had expected him to smirk, make some arrogant comment about how he told her he would win her heart. Push her up against the wall and tell her it's about bloody time again. Instead he just smiled and rubbed his thumb along her cheek.

"That was..." Emma started.

Killian smiled, "The real thing."

A door opened from Grannies and Emma jumped slightly in surprise. Somehow she had forgotten that there was anything outside of Killian and this little patio.

Charming had opened the door and now stalked over to the table sitting down opposite Killian. Before he could even open his mouth Emma spoke up, "Are you really going to do "the talk" thing, dad? Really?"

Charming smiled "Wouldn't miss this for the world," he said, a glint in his eyes before turning to Hook.

"Remember that time I promised I would shoot you in the face if you so much as look at me the wrong way."

"You're going to have to be more specific, mate."

"Doesn't matter, just pick one. And play it in your head every night before you go to sleep. You break her heart and I'll-"

"Do nothing." Killian broke in.

"Excuse me?" Charming asked, irritated at getting his so carefully planned protective daddy speech interrupted.

Emma rolled her eyes as Killian continued, "She'd kill me herself first, so your services would probably not be required."

Emma nodded vehemently in agreement, eager for this conversation to be over but Killian wouldn't let Emma off quite so easily as that.

"Do you remember a certain conversation with Prince Charles, Charming?"

"Charming furrowed his brow for a minute before his eyes widened, "You-"

"Aye, mate. I've traveled to the ends of several worlds and a couple of timelines for your daughter. You need not fear my intentions."

Charming glanced at Emma for a moment before continuing. "And you!"

"Me, what? I thought this was about him!?" Emma asked in shock.

"Emma, I love you very much, You're an amazing, strong woman and you make me so proud to be your father." Tears filled Emma's eyes and Charming put a hand on her arm. "I feel I have to tell you this because I wish someone had told it to your mother ... The man loves you. Stop bloody hitting him with things."

With that Charming turned and walked back inside.

"Did he just...did he just say bloody?" Emma asked uncertainly, glancing at Killian who was grinning ear to ear.

"I do believe I am having a good effect on the Royals, love."

Emma rolled her eyes and took his arm, "Come on, I want you to meet someone."

"Aye?"

"Yes, I'd like you to meet my brother, Prince Neal."

Hook's eyes widened and to Emma's relief he smiled. "A good strong name," Killian nodded, "a fine tribute."

Back in the diner, Killian realized for the first time he didn't feel out of place as one of the group. It was warm and pleasant and occasionally Swan would lay a hand on his forearm as she spoke, easily as if they'd been like this forever. Was it too much to ask that things stay like this? Of course it was.

Emma had taken over the woman from the past to meet Regina and moments later it became abundantly obvious that she was not as new to this land as they had expected. Regina's face fell and she turned on Emma.

Killian stood immediately, pushing his way through the crowd to get to them.

"-better hope to hell you didn't bring anything else back." Regina turned from the room the door slamming behind her.

"Swan?" Killian asked from behind her. She stared at the door before finally darting after Regina. Killian took off after her, catching up just outside the door. "Not now, love, give her some time."

"I just wanted to save her life-" Emma repeated softly, Killian reached out to take her hand. Her hand was trembling and he pulled her into him for a quick hug before pulling away.

"Come on, Emma. Let's get you home?"

"No, take me out again?"

"The Roger is gone, remember love?"

"Please, Killian, just for a little while."

Killian nodded and led her down to the docks to the ship that he had more or less commandeered since losing the Jolly. It was dark but the stars were bright and Hook could very nearly navigate this port in his sleep by now. As land drifted away from them Killian watched Emma relax and begin to breathe easier.

"Do you want to talk about it, Swan?" Killian asked when he had finally reefed the sails.

"Did I do the right thing, Killian? You warned me but I didn't listen... I couldn't leave her. Should I have left here there?" Her voice trembled and Killian wrapped his arms around her from behind as she gazed out over the water.

Killian sighed, "There's one fewer motherless child in Storybrooke, don't forget that."

"But Regina ... She's right, I wasn't thinking about the consequences. Now Regina may lose what has come to be her family."

"So Marian has no right to live, because it complicates Regina's love life?" Hook scoffed, "No, love, when Regina killed her it was wrong, and this is the first time she's truly had to own that. How do you think Robin would react if he discovered that Regina wished his son's mother dead? Regina is the only danger to that relationship."

"She's been through so much, Killian, she was doing so well."

"It's easy to do well when the sailing is smooth. People like Regina...like me, we easily revert to past personas when under stress. When I thought I had lost you forever I spent months trying to convince myself that nothing had changed."

"What made you realize that it wouldn't work?"

"I think, deep down, I always knew it was just a show, but I didn't think I would survive the reality so I fooled myself. As soon as I discovered a way to get back to you, the facade disintegrated into ash... nothing else mattered."

"Thank you for coming back," she whispered and Killian turned her head with two fingers to kiss her again.

"Always, love. Now on to lighter matters, I'll not let you mope for the rest of this beautiful night."

Emma smiled, and once more it was contagious, "and what would you suggest that we do?"

"The moon is bright, the water is mild, we're going swimming!"

"Seriously?"

"Of course."

"Really, after what Zelena did ... you want to go swimming?"

"Aye."

"You can't think of anything you'd rather do with me ... alone ... on your ship."

"Oh I can think of many things that I would like to do to you... Unfortunately not half an hour ago I promised your father my intentions were good. Bad form to go back on that quite so quickly. But I can divest you of your garments in a most gentlemanly fashion this way! Besides, you are clearly trying to distract me...I'm now curious as to why."

"It's cold, we'll freeze!"

"Certainly not, there's a warm current that passes just through here."

"Swimming is just ...not really, my thing."

"Are you telling me you don't know how to swim, love?"

"No... I can, just ..."

"You, my dear, get more intriguing every day."

"What do you mean?"

Killian smiled, "I was just thinking of the mermaid attack. It was a courageous plan, you jumping into the storm, it was courageous when I assumed you were a good swimmer, now it's even more impressive."

"Killian I'm not going in."

"Sure you are, lass, if I can teach you to waltz I can certainly teach you to swim."

"I told you, I know how to swim... I just...Okay, fine. Look, I've always been a little afraid of water...of drowning."

"And here I thought you weren't afraid of anything but happiness...Off with the leathers darling," he said setting his own jacket vest and boots aside before diving off the side of the ship.

Emma did the same and Killian made no attempt to hide his gaze as she set aside everything down to her tank top.

Taking a deep breath she too jumped into the sea. Her skin prickled briefly, the water was cold but not nearly as bad as she had expected. Her heart pounded in her ears as her head dipped below the surface but with a few flailing strokes she resurfaced.

"Are you happy now, can we go in?" Emma asked, treading water vigorously.

"You're working too hard, love."

"I'm just trying to stay afloat! Come on, Killian, let's go, I'm going to get tired." There was a note of nervousness in her voice and he swam closer to her.

"Come here, grab onto me."

"I'll make you sink."

"Not at all, lass, I've carried rum barrels heavier than you."

Emma looked at him curiously for a moment than exploded into laughter. Killian smiled but looked at her with eyebrows raised, "Do you not believe me?"

"No that's not it ... it's just... never mind." She put her arms around his neck. "No need to be shy, love," he dropped his hooked arm to her hip and pulled her leg up to wrap around him too. Now locked together the chill of the water was not so bad and she held tight, leaving his arms free to tread water. "See how easy this is?"

"You know, we just spent a good 15 minutes kissing in front of Granny's. I think you've won, you can stop showing off now."

Killian smiled "Did we, perhaps you could refresh my memory?"

Emma leaned forward and kissed him again tightening her legs around his waist so she could loosen her grip on his torso. Once she was certain she would not fall she let one hand drift to the back of Killian's neck once more, playing with the short hair there and pulling herself closer.

Emma smiled nervously, "Ok, that's enough... Aren't you getting tired?"

"Oh, I'll not be tired for some time."

Emma scoffed and he raised his eyebrows at her. "I'm not showing off darling, being at ease in the water is often difference between life and death for a sailor. One particularly nasty storm sent me overboard and miles away from my ship. It was hours before the storm passed and my crew began to look for me, hours longer before they found me."

"That's impossible."

"Would you like for me to prove it... go home and come check on me in the morning?"

"How?"

"Once the water is calm it's easy, simply trust the sea to hold you up."

"What?"

"Here, let me show you." She detangled herself from Killian, swimming for herself again. "The best way to float is actually face down, but most people find it less frightening to float on their back." As he spoke he kicked a couple of times and laid back, floating easily on top of the water as if he were lying on a couch. Righting himself again he returned to her side. "Your turn."

Emma tried to lie back but she immediately got the feeling she was falling. Suddenly she felt the pressure of Killian's arm supporting her lower back and his hand behind her head. "Just relax and breathe, I'll not let you sink. Deep breaths and hold it, then breathe again and hold. Easy, right?"

"It's not so bad... Kind of relaxing actually."

She felt Killian nod behind her, "All right I'm going to move my arm now, Swan, don't forget to breathe." As soon as he removed his arm she felt herself falling again and she began to flail her arms. He returned his arm to her back rapidly. "Relax Swan, I know it feels like falling but its not. Trust me. Let the sea do the work. Keep your eyes on the stars."

He removed his arm again and she floated for a few seconds before she glanced down and began to sink again. Killian placed a light hand on her forehead pulling her head back into the water and adjusting her posture slightly. "All the way back, love, look at me."

She opened her clenched eyes and tilted her head farther back to see him behind her and he smiled, "That's a good lass, keep your eyes on me and you'll be fine." She started to nod but caught herself quickly. She kept her gaze on his eyes above her, brightened and sparkling with the reflection of the stars and the water. "That's it love, you've got it."

"So long as you're here holding me up, anyway."

"I'll always be there to hold you up, love, but in point of fact you are doing all the work right now." Suddenly she realized she could no longer feel his arm below her or his hand on her neck. Her muscles tensed but then she took a deep breath and looked up at him again a nervous smile on her face. "I'm doing it?"

"You're a natural."

Now that she was floating on her own he took up the same position beside her gazing up into the clear sky. "Are they different here?" Emma asked him after a moment.

"Aye, sometimes I do miss the patterns of home. They always remind me of my time aboard the Jewel of the Realm."

"You had another ship?"

"In a manner of speaking. The Jolly Roger was once a Naval vessel, until a young lieutenant was forcibly turned captain and deemed the ship fit for greater things."

"It was your brother's command first?" Her voice trembled slightly and Killian rolled off his back.

"Aye. The water is a bit chilly love, shall we go in?" Emma nodded and they boarded the ship again, the soft breeze on wet skin making Emma tremble. Emma headed below deck to change into her dry clothes and by the time she reemerged Killian was back in his customary leathers. Despite the dry clothes her wet hair chilled her and on impulse she waved her hand slightly, a ball of white flame appeared hovering midair in front of her and she warmed herself next to it. She glanced up and Killian was watching her with eyes wide.

"Have I told you that you're bloody brilliant lately?" he commented finally as he moved toward the heat.

"Regina taught me..." her eyes dropped and the flames flickered and dimmed as she remembered what had driven her out here.

"It's going to be all right, Swan. She's hurting right now, but she still has Henry. I don't think she'll risk losing what she's built with him."

Emma nodded and Killian wrapped his arms around her, a comforting gesture that had become so natural in such a short period of time.

Soon she would have to return to the real world. To her family and to the consequences of her rescue of Marian. Emma wasn't running anymore, she knew she had found home, but this gave her some space. Just far enough away to have room to breathe. She would have to go back soon... but for now she was content here with her pirate.

Balanced together ocean upon the sky.

* * *

_**Thank you for reading and don't forget to leave a review. I haven't done a lot of prompts before but that was kind of fun. Let me know if you have any other fun ideas you'd like me to **_**_play with. Though I will probably get inspired _**_(i.e. __distracted__) _**_and turn your idea into something else entirely or make it a little piece of a bigger story as I did this time - but hopefully you'll still love it!_**

_**Dog and Butterfly Lyrics (Heart):**_

_**See the dog and butterfly. Up in the**_  
_**Air he like to fly. Dog and butterfly**_  
_**Below she had to try. She roll back down**_  
_**To the warm soft ground laughing**_  
_**She don't know why, she don't know why**_  
_**Dog and butterfly**_

_**We're getting older the world's getting colder**_  
_**For the life of me I don't know the reason why**_  
_**Maybe it's livin' making us give in**_  
_**Hearts rolling in taken back on the tide**_  
_**We're balanced together ocean upon the sky**_


	16. Three Sheets to the Wind

**AN: Another nautical term of the day story!**

_"Three sheets to the wind": Very drunk. Sheets actually refers to the ropes attached to the lower corner of a sail. If three sheets are loose the sails will flap in the wind causing the ship to lurch about 'drunkenly'._

* * *

"So you really don't remember anything from when I was with your... past self?" Emma asked. Killian glanced up a look of concern on his face.

"I bloody wish I didn't even remember seeing you with another man," Killian seethed.

"It wasn't another man...strictly speaking." Emma said her lips curling in a half smile.

"Not sure that makes it any better, lass. I'm not particularly fond of the man I was then, he didn't deserve to touch you."

Emma glanced down a flush covering her cheeks.

"Swan, you have asked me that three times in the past hour. Why do you keep asking?"

"I guess I just hoped I would have made more of an impression."

"An impression," Killian asked, his eyes widening in disbelief. "What in all the bloody realms makes you concerned that you can't leave an impression on me. I would like to point out that you got me well past three sheets, followed by a very well delivered blow and who knows what kind of magical interference...". He raised his left arm slightly and smiled, "If it weren't for this little reminder I'd likely not remember my own name come morning."

Emma glanced down, a highly uncharacteristic pouting expression on her face and Killian sighed.

"All right, Emma, fine. Why don't you tell me about it?"

Her eyes brightened. "Well it took me a grand total of 30 seconds to get you to ditch your game and the ladies you were with already," Emma started smugly, "also you should know you had no chance with the brunette."

Killian raised his eyebrows, "Now now, love, no need to be spiteful, I do remember that part of the evening and both of those lovelies seemed quite ... amenable."

"To free drinks perhaps."

"And what makes you say that, Swan?"

"Oh only that she seemed even more entranced by my...dress than you were."

Killian coughed, choking on the sip he had just tried to take from his flask. When he recovered Emma was smirking teasingly at him.

"So what did you do with..." he hesitated, "...me, for so long if you weren't playing rigged games?"

"Drank rum mostly, though that much should be fairly obvious. Though you were quite insistent on knowing my name for ... how did you phrase it, ships passing in the night."

He winced and nodded, "Sounds about right."

"Really, did you always insist on knowing the names of your conquests?"

"Generally." He answered, choosing not to elaborate.

Emma raised her eyebrows, and he sighed.

"Most of them like when I use their name, makes them feel special," he admitted. "I use endearments fairly promiscuously as you may have noticed."

"And here I thought I was special, darling." Emma teased and Killian clenched his jaw.

"Are we quite done rehashing the sordid past of Captain Hook, Emma?"

"Oh, not nearly."

"You're enjoying this," he accused.

"Not the only thing I enjoyed," she commented under her breath and Killian's eyes darted up to meet hers, a jealous fire burning there again. "Oh come on, Killian, it was still you, kind of. You can't really be jealous of yourself... I wish you would...think of it as a compliment."

"And why would you wish that..."

Emma glanced coyly up at him and sighed. "Because you were a difficult man to distract Killian. You asked me if we should get some privacy, or if you were going to have to find someone else...I couldn't let that happen."

Killian's gaze was nervous now, "Emma?"

"So we left the bar and there was this little alley on the way back to the ship."

Killian closed his eyes tightly, "Oh god, Emma?"

"And then you called the ship 'Rolly Joger' and it was probably the most hilarious thing I have ever heard."

Killian's eyes snapped open again and confusion drifted over his face, "Love, please? Did I do something to you in that alley?" His eyes were wide and Emma finally had pity on him.

"Nah, you were so drunk I'm amazed we made it back to the ship at all!"

Killian sighed, "You little minx," he muttered under his breath, his entire body sagging in relief.

"I'm sorry, " Emma laughed, "but it's just so funny when you're jealous of yourself."

"A bloody alley..." Killian muttered shaking his head and pulling Emma closer. He kissed her and then let his lips drift to her ear, "You will pay for that someday, my love."

"Looking forward to it."

Killian groaned, "You're trying to kill me, you bloody siren," he muttered.

Emma smiled, "I told you, you couldn't handle it."

Killian opened his mouth to retort with a glint in his eyes when suddenly Charming dropped into the seat next to them at the table, Snow joining him a moment later with her newborn snug in her arms. Emma smirked as Killian bit back his comment.

"So how fares the tiny Royal?" he asked instead, still glaring at his smirking Swan.

"Aside from the fact that his parents are terrified to take their eyes off of him for even a moment, I think he's fine, Charming said with a laugh and Emma reached over to run a finger along the babies arm, smiling when she reached his hand and he grabbed her finger.

"He's a handsome lad," Killian said watching the baby in something that looked like astonishment. "I haven't seen a lot of newborns in my past life; how is it possible they can be so small?" he wondered out loud.

Mary Margaret smiled at the astonishmet in his eyes, so strange to see from a leather clad pirate.

"Would you like to hold, him, Killian?" she asked and his eyes widened.

"I- I don't think I can." Killian responded in surprise, lifting his left arm slightly with a shrug.

"Of course you can, you won't hurt him, just don't put your hook near his hands because at this age they grab everything that comes near." Killian unclasped his hook and slipped it into his pocket as Snow stood and walked over to him.

"His neck doesn't really work yet, so I'll just lay him in the crook of your arm, alright?" Killian nodded and glanced at Emma a flicker of fear in his eyes. Mary Margaret lowered Neal slowly into his arms and for a moment Killian seemed terrified to move, but finally he seemed to relax slightly and peered down into the baby's blue eyes.

Killian held the infant securely in the crook of his arm, marveling at how small and vulnerable he was. He glanced up at Snow, eyes searching for reassurance that he wasn't hurting the tiny child and she smiled. He wasn't sure what was more incredible, that he was holding a precious tiny infant in his arms or that Snow and Charming had allowed him to do so.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, my prince." he murmured quietly and Emma couldn't help but smile at the gentleness in his tone.

"Now now Killian, I'll not have you spoiling him already!" Snow teased.

"Don't you worry little Prince, you have the best parents in all the world. Your big sister's going to teach you how to pick locks and I'm going to teach you how to cheat at cards. You'll be the most well-rounded royal ever seen."

"Alright, alright," Charming scolded, feigning indignation, "let's not turn him into a pirate just yet."

Killian smirked, "it'll be our secret," he whispered to the baby as his father picked him back up from Killian's arms.

Snow and Charming soon took their leave and Killian and Emma were left alone again in their corner booth of Granny's.

"Who would've suspected" Emma laughed and Killian glanced up at her inquiringly, "The fearsome Captain Hook has a soft spot for children?"

"Come now, Swan, did you see that little Royal? Who could resist his charms?" His eyebrow raised slightly and the pirate returned "Does it give you any ideas, love?"

Emma rolled her eyes, "I think were going to have our hands full for a while, ruining their attempts to raise a well behaved prince!"

"Shame… and I was just starting to grow on your parents."

"Well, every child deserves an uncle that his parents wish he wouldn't spend so much time with. Considering the rest of the cast of this town, looks like the role is yours."

"Looking forward to it."

* * *

**I swear, I'm pretty sure the drunk scene with past-hook was stolen right from a fan-fiction somewhere. In fact... pretty much the whole episode was. When I wrote my version 'no time like the present' before the finale I was fully expecting that it would be much more fluffy/romantic than the real episode once it aired. It almost wasn't! **


	17. Rock-a-bye

"Enough! It's fine, get out of my apartment, go get a nice dinner, now!"

"You have my cell, if anything happens...just call, ok Emma," Snow said. Nervousness was leaking into her voice. This was the first time she had left her son in anyone's care, and despite the fact that she and Charming desperately needed a break, it still felt strange.

"Mom, really, I think I can handle this, nothing is going to go wrong."

Mary Margaret smiled at baby Neal resting easily in Emma's arms as Charming placed his hand on his wife's back, leading her toward the door. Snow slipped away and ran back up to Neal to place one more kiss on his tiny forehead. "He's been going two hours between feedings, I put a couple bottles in the fridge."

"I know mom, I was there."

"She's got this, Snow," Charming said with a sigh, "Our daughter is an incredible woman with magic... who can handle everything from curses to witches to time-travel. You know she is literally the best person to watch Neal in this entire town."

"Oh, I know," Snow replied quickly, "I know, I know...I just... I don't want you stuck on babysitting duty, maybe this is a bad idea."

Emma glanced at Charming over Mary Margaret's shoulder who smiled and moved behind her, placing both hands on her shoulders and pushing her towards the door from behind. "We're leaving now," he mumbled into her ear, "I am taking you out for a nice dinner and you are going to get to stop rocking back and forth for a few hours!" Charming grinned over his shoulder at Emma who had taken up the characteristic rocking motion, laughing to herself as Mary Margaret glanced nervously behind her.

"Thanks Emma," she called, "Don't forget to burp him after he eats-"

Emma nodded, and Charming finally got Snow over the threshold before she turned back to say "Oh... and if-"

"Goodbye Mom." Emma interrupted, "If you two are back here in less than 4 hours I will not let you in!"

The door shut behind them and Emma laughed, locking it and glancing down into her brother's sleepy eyes.

"Hey there sleepy head, you remember me? Your big sister, Emma. Emma? Let's make a deal little brother, lets drive your parents crazy when your first word is Emma!" Neal gurgled gently and Emma smiled.

"You're pretty adorable, you know that?" Her smile faltered as false memories of Henry at this age struggled to the surface. They didn't make her sad, exactly. She was happy to have them, and she had come to suspect that they weren't entirely false. They just ...weren't hers. Emma wandered around the apartment for a while with Neal in her arms gradually showing him anything that he expressed interest in, which granted, wasn't much at the moment. Though he had taken a fondness to a small Swan stuffed animal that Emma bought him wearing a tiny bell as a necklace. Picking it up Emma placed it in front of him, ringing the tiny bell. Neal reached for it making another contented cooing noise, As they walked around her apartment Emma talked to him as she remembered doing with Henry. It hadn't really been her of course, but Henry turned out alright so Regina must have been onto something...

Eventually Neal's coos and gurgles grew louder and he began to whimper and cry.

"Oh no no, don't cry Neal. We're having so much fun aren't we?" She glanced at her watch and saw it had been nearly two hours. She had lost track of time and he was probably hungry. She went to prepare one of the bottles Mary Margaret had left her and suddenly had a bit more of an appreciation for how difficult it must have been for Killian to learn to do everything one handed. Neal quieted while he ate and Emma laughed again.

"This isn't so bad, is it Neal?" Neal responded by spitting out the bottle and letting out an ear splitting cry.

"Ok, Ok, fine I won't get cocky," Emma muttered patting the child's back until he burped loudly. The crying didn't cease though and Emma continued her walk around the apartment cooing in what she hoped was a calming tone. It was to no avail. She tried feeding him again, tried burping him, tried to get his attention with toys, tried walking, checked his diaper, tried swaying, put him down to sleep picked him up again... before long Emma was completely out of ideas.

"What do you want from me, little brother," Emma asked him in frustration, "Isn't it past your bedtime?"

Neal apparently disagreed because sleeping seemed the farthest thing possible from his little mind. She tried swaddling him, like some foggy memory of Regina's told her sometimes helped and put him down to sleep. She tried desperately to walk away thinking maybe he would calm down on his own but his little cries pulled at her heartstrings and she picked him back up again after only a few minutes. She glanced furtively at her cell phone, but her stubborn streak refused to let her call Mary Margaret. They hadn't had any alone time in nearly a month, she was absolutely not going to interrupt date night. She was the savior right, she could to this.

She waved her hand and a glowing orb danced in front of Neal's face in what Emma thought was a playful way but the cries only intensified and Emma was now worried she had frightened him. She needed help... but there was no way she was calling Snow... Closing her eyes she gave her hand another wave and a silver metal hook landed in her living room. She continued to walk around the apartment talking to the baby until finally she heard a knock at the apartment door.

Opening it she saw Killian leaning against the wall. He raised his left arm and said "and what if I had needed that, love?" The new face seemed to distract Neal briefly but soon he began wailing again at full volume. Killian came in eyebrows raised, "Trouble with the little royal?"

"I don't want to call them, Killian, but I've tried everything... He won't stop crying!"

"And your supposition was that my vast experience with infants would come in handy?" Killian asked with a small smile.

"I was desperate!" Emma retorted as Killian picked up his hook from the middle of the floor and slipped it into his coat pocket.

"Need a break love?"

Emma gratefully placed Neal into Killian's arms and prayed a change in scenery would placate the child.

Killian eyed the baby cautiously, he had gotten used to holding the 'little royal' as he had started to call him, but he still wasn't exactly at ease.

Neal screamed on and Killian winced, wondering if perhaps Charming could hear it from wherever they were.

"Mary Margaret always rocks him when he cries and I don't think I'm doing it right..."

"Maybe he's not as content with the view in here as I am," Killian suggested with a smirk. "Shall we take a stroll, love?"

Emma left a note, in case they came back early, as Killian wandered out into the street with the crying infant. When Emma caught up Killian was heading out toward the docks. Before long they reached Killian's commandeered vessel and Killian boarded leaning against the mast and gazing down.

"What do you think of this, my prince, have you the sea in your blood?"

Emma ran her hands through her hair in frustration, her first time babysitting and Neal was screaming like she was trying to murder him... Snow and Charming would probably come running in any minute demanding to know why she was trying to hurt their son.

Suddenly she froze... It was quiet. Spinning rapidly she saw Killian leaning against the mast. Neal was fast asleep in his arms.

"What... What did you..." Emma stuttered then noticed the gentle rocking of the ground under her feet.

Killian beamed, "It seems the little lad finds the sea as comforting as I do. Charming will have my head..."

Emma laughed in relief. "Thank you, I was starting to think I was hurting him."

Killian laughed too, slowly lowering himself to the deck, back against the mast. "No, he loves his Swan, I'm sure. But you must understand that sometimes no lass can replace the call of the sea."

"Really," Emma said, eyebrows raised.

"No doubt, but fear not my love, the call to return stretches through space and time." Emma sank down next to him and layed her head on his shoulder as the gentle swaying of the ship kept Neal content in his slumber. "You know," she said, "I think perhaps we make one hell of a team."

"Aye," Killian turned and placed a kiss on the top of her hair, "I think you might just be right about that."

* * *

**AN: thank you for reading, leave a review to let me know what you think. Thanks to all of my regular reviewers, your reviews make my day!**

**Next up: I'm thinking about what would have happened if past hook got sucked into 'present time' ... shenanigans ensue?**


	18. Remember Me (1 of 2) : Bad Form

**AN: I thought it could be utterly hilarious if Past Hook got sucked back to the present time instead of Marian and caused all sorts of mayhem :P So here goes, we'll start in the famous drunk Hook scene (because it's so much fun to expand on drunk Hook) ****and go from there.**

* * *

**_Remember me: Part 1 of 2 (Bad Form)_**

* * *

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were trying to get me drunk – which is usually my tactic,"

Emma determinedly kept a flirtatious smile on her face when she really just desperately wanted to roll her eyes. Did this usually work for women? Yeah, nothing is sexier than admitting that you generally get women drunk to get them to come home with you.

Instead she simply smiled and asked,"What's wrong, Captain? Can't hold your rum?" with a hint of a challenge in her tone.

"No, not only can I _hold_ it, But I can carry it right out the door. What do you say we set sail? Come back with me for a nightcap…Or shall I find someone else?"

Her smile faltered just a bit and she remembered (again) that this was not her Killian. Killian's words came back to her; 'you don't know him, be careful.' This was not the man who crossed worlds and time itself to stand by her. This was Captain Hook, and to Captain Hook she was just one more pretty face in one more dirty tavern. A moment of mindlessness between him and his revenge for the only one he truly loved.

"That's not very... Very gentlemanly, Captain," Emma said fighting to keep her voice teasing, "a woman likes to be courted, you know. In fact, If I am so replaceable perhaps I should find myself some less fickle company for the evening."

She feigned starting to stand and this time it was his turn to stop her from leaving, a gentle pressure on her thigh just a little too high to be proper.

"And just what do you suppose I am doing, lovely? I am asking if you are interested in coming and ... getting to know each other better." His eyes glint mischievously in the dim light of the tavern and Emma laughs settling herself again.

"I think I know all I need to know about you, Captain! You are afraid of a challenge."

Hook settles from his partially raised position and looks at her curiously. "What ever gave you that impression, love?"

"Oh, no, no it's all right, I mean what self-respecting pirate wouldn't be a little concerned that a lass was drinking him under the table."

Hook grinned deviously and filled their glasses once more. "To a challenge," he toasted her and he kept his eyes on her the whole time, giving her no choice but to actually drink hers as well.

Several more increasingly provocative toasts later and she was wondering if anyone was going to notice the growing rum scented puddle developing behind her. In a dive like this, it seemed unlikely, at least. Hook's eyes were growing glassy and Emma realized that by now she should be very very drunk and should probably start acting the part. This was nothing new to her, acting drunk happened to be one of her specialties...she used to string men along for a living.

"All right there, love," Hook asked with a smirk as she slid partly out of her chair.

"Mmm hmm," she slurred, "never better."

"I think you're lying darling, I'll make you feel better."

Hook could certainly hold his rum, most men would be out cold on the floor right now, his words were slightly slurred, his eyes a little glassy but he was more or less in command still. Too much in control if Emma had anything to say about it, which Hook showed aggressively when a stumbling drunk found himself falling face first onto their table then decided the view of Emma's bust was too nice to leave and stayed half-fallen over the table gazing down Emma's dress.

In character as a drunk, she only giggled lightly but the captain slammed his hook right in front of the man's nose.

"Next time I'll see what's inside your skull," Hook growled and the man rolled off the table and scrambled away.

"Nice aim," Emma commented with another little laugh.

"Tell you a secret, lass," Hook leaned forward and she did the same, letting him whisper warmly in her ear, "I missed." He laughed gregariously and Emma hoped he didn't notice the goosebumbs that erupted over her skin. (Not Killian, not Killian.)

"Come on darling, wouldn't be right to let a lass like you be on display under all these sluggardly men's gazes while intoxicated."

She let him pull her to her feet, swaying in exaggerated movements and going as slowly as possible out of the tavern. Had she stalled long enough? If she ditched him now she wouldn't know if Killian had succeeded, she'd have to go back with him to his ship and make sure, then she'd think of something to extradite herself.

She distracted him a few times along the way by stumbling sideways into the wall, and he pressed his advantage, pinning her there and leaving hot kisses on her neck to which she moaned loudly.

"Oh, darling if you're to make sounds like that we must find somewhere only I can enjoy them."

They continued stumbling back towards the dock as Emma teased, "Possessive pirate, aren't we?"

"Oh you have no idea," he growled. They finally reached the dock and Emma tripped, loudly crying that they should rest, hoping it would give Killian some warning if he was still aboard.

No such luck. In a flash, Hook scooped her up and welcomed her to the "Rolly Joger," which Emma hardly got a chance to laugh at before she noticed a woman with her head covered. _Snow, she was just now leaving? So where-_

"Captain, I thought you were still below, and why does your vest keep changing?"

_Damn_

Emma pulled him close and murmured something about waiting for her nightcap, before pulling away as he tried to kiss her. Hook turned to chastise Smee and Emma slipped away, hoping Hook wouldn't notice her perfectly stable steps as she darted for the Captain's cabin.

When she reached the bottom of the stairs she found herself face to face with none other than Killian.

"What are you doing here?" she exclaimed.

"I could ask the same of you," Killian retorted, "I thought I told you to keep him occupied?"

"I am!"

"By taking him back to my ship?" Killian's voice seemed different, nervous almost.

"His ship!"

"You know what I mean."

"I stalled as long as I could, I'll try to keep him above deck so you can get out of here." She turned for the stairs as Killian ducked to the corner of the room, and Hook descended the ladder. "I do hope you're not having second thoughts?"

"No, I just got tired of waiting!" She could still hear Killian behind her and she grabbed Hook's collar kissing him desperately and angling him so he was no longer facing Killian.

"My apologies," Hook grinned at her, "a woman as beautiful as you deserves my full and prompt attention."

Emma kissed him again, her eyes on Killian who looked frozen in place behind Hook, a look of dismay on his face. She tried to signal him to get the hell out of here but he hesitated still.

Finally he grabbed Hook by the shoulder and punched him in the face, shaking his hand out slightly at the pain of the impact. Downside to wearing rings, but it hurts the other guy a hell of a lot more.

Emma was stunned for a moment before she turned on Killian.

"Are you kidding me? How is that not going to have consequences?"

"He was asking for it. And, like I said, he'll blame the rum. Now lets get out of here."

Emma was still staring at Hook in shock but finally she made her way up the ladder with a sigh of exasperation.

As they made their way through the docks she turned to him again. "What if he remembers seeing himself, this is going to screw everything up somehow."

"Trust me, Swan, you don't want him to remember that kiss, that's what will have consequences."

She glanced up at him but he avoided her eyes, jaw tense.

"I'm sorry, Killian. I couldn't think of a better way to distract him."

"Well it bloody worked. If you don't mind I'm going to spend the next few hours trying to burn that out of my memory."

"Killian, it was just a ploy. Why does this bug you so much?"

"Because I detest that man, Swan," he said tersely, "because that man is everything I hoped you would never see in me, let alone..." he cut himself off with a sigh. "It doesn't matter. Things are back on track and your mother's off to steal your father's ring. It worked."

Emma nodded. It worked.

* * *

Somehow everything had gone according to plan. Emma still couldn't believe everything had worked out so cleanly. Sure there was that little issue with Snow dropping the ring but Emma and Killian tracked her through the forest, slipping it into her pack while she rested without her ever realizing it was gone. Now they had returned to the Dark One's castle in the hopes that he had managed a way to return them to their own time.

But things were never quite as simple as that, Killian realized as he glanced at the wand in Emma's hand. The Dark One had no choice but to destroy them if he wished to protect the future. No sooner had he pulled out his cutlass than the door crashed open again, revealing none other than Captain Hook. Hook's eyes flicked to Emma for a moment before scanning past Killian and landing on the Dark One.

"I knew it wasn't a dream," he muttered.

"Oh dear," came Rumple's sing song voice. "You two have caused some mischief haven't you?" Then he rapidly raised his arms and all three of them were transported to his vault.

Hook had launched himself at the Dark One but the abrupt change of scenery sent him tumbling to the ground. Righting himself he turned towards Emma.

"I knew there was something about you, lass, I knew you weren't just a tavern wench." He turned toward Killian who had a pained look in his eyes. "And who in all the bloody realms are you?"

"I remember myself being cleverer than this," Killian sighed.

"No, You are not me," Hook growled. "You were working with the Dark One, and I would never betray her like that. So who the hell are you?"

Killian drew his cutlass as Emma slipped away from the two of them. "Look mate, things have changed. I've changed and I really have no desire to give myself any new scars."

"It seems I've something of an advantage then," Hook snarled, before toppling forward revealing a grinning Emma Swan.

"That can't be good for me," Killian laughed, eyeing the other version of himself unconscious once more.

"What are we going to do with him?" Emma asked.

"Take him with us I suppose, Rumpelstiltskin has already changed the course of history... perhaps if we can... send him back again in time we can prevent any damaging effects?"

"That sounds like a great plan, you know, if we weren't stuck here."

* * *

Hook was not fond of being attacked from behind. Bad form, and yet here he was again, on the ground, head pounding from what was most certainly not a hangover. He forced his eyes open and the world swam foggily into view. There she was, the woman, that woman, talking to ... whoever the hell that was. Because whoever it was, it was not him. There was something in her hand glowing and he...him, the other him (God, his head hurt) was beaming like a bloody fool at her. He glared at the ... other him venomously before something distracted him from his rage. A swirling vortex appeared out of nowhere, not unlike a portal caused by a magic bean. But there was no beam. It emanated from the woman, glowing with an etherial light and he found himself transfixed by her, captivated by her.

"All right, Captain," Killian said with a sigh, coming over to him, "I do recall I was rather fond of survival. So here is the situation. We're leaving. You are currently in the Dark One's vault. You calculate the odds."

Hook nodded, getting painfully to his feet. "Where?" he asked.

"Not Neverland." Killian responded and that appeared to be a sufficient answer. Killian pushed Hook in front of him toward the portal and the two vanished, Emma only a moment behind.

Soon they felt cold ground beneath them and the portal closed behind them.

Hook, who had gone through first, was already standing, watching for Emma to pass through the portal, as Killian climbed to his feet some distance away. The moment she did, he pounced, pulling her to her feet and putting his hook at her throat. "How did you do that, lass? Doesn't matter... I need to get back, I need to destroy the crocodile and you are going to send me there!"

Killian stepped forward but Hook tightened his grip. "Ah, ah, ah, no bloody rescue attempts from you, mate. She's mine, and she's going to help me skin my -" Suddenly Hook's appendage flew away from him, imbedding itself in the ceiling. Then Emma turned, bringing her cutlass to his throat.

"Let's get one thing straight, _Captain,_ I don't need any rescuing."

"Well, well," Hook said looking her over carefully. "Aren't you full of surprises, lass. And here I thought you were just an astonishingly ... proficient bar wench."

Emma cocked her head to the side when she saw the lie in his eyes. _That's interesting_, she thought. Killian had moved to her side now and grabbing a piece of rope from the boathouse wall moved to tie his alter ego to a pillar.

"I know this is generally your pleasure, love, but perhaps given the circumstances-" Killian commented.

Hook smirked, "Going to torture me lass? Good girl, don't be afraid to really ... get into it."

Killian turned away but Emma could see the disgust in his eyes.

Emma stooped to pick up her phone which was still ringing, "Hey David, look I'm really sorry to ask you this but can we put off the naming celebration for a day. Yes, I know everyone is already there but... Just come to the boathouse, you'll see."

"David?" Hook smirked, "So you're not her only lay, I see. Some lot of good going soft has done you."

Emma shuddered, "That's disgusting," she informed him dryly.

"You're right, love, they are not your type. Why don't you send the boys away and come play with a real man. I know you can, I've tasted it."

"Can I please knock him out again?" Killian grumbled.

"Probably not a good idea... " Emma sighed, "Given that he is...technically still you."

Hook glanced over at Killian again eyes flicking between the two of them. "You really... This is not some magic trick...you really are... me?"

"Plus a few decades, a bit of tact and a couple of life altering decisions."

"Where is he?" Hook growled.

Killian sighed, "You're not getting anywhere near him. I'm not the only one who has changed."

Hook's eyes filled with disgust. "You're nothing but a traitor, how the hell did I turn into something as repulsive as you?"

"I know the feeling."

"Enough," Emma broke in. "This isn't helping and were going to need his help anyway if we want to send you back."

Killian turned to Emma again "We can't send him like this, things have changed, what if things don't work out the same way?"

"We'll have to make him forget. Rumpelstiltskin or Regina might be able to help us with that. If we send him back to after that night on the Jolly Roger he won't remember anything." She heard footsteps outside and went out to meet David.

Killian remained behind looking curiously over at Hook. "When people say they have to face their demons this is rarely what they have in mind," he mumbled to himself.

"I am facing my demon," Hook spat, "it seems you've joined ranks with yours. What broke your resolve." There was a moment of something sincere in his eyes. "Please, tell me? So I can avoid it like the bloody plague. What made you betray her?"

Killian clenched his fists. "I did not betray her," he said, voice tight.

"What do you call it then?"

"He's a monster for killing her. You and I both agree on that, but things are different now. It won't make things better, killing him. I thought I succeeded once. It was surprisingly...unfulfilling."

"Oh who bloody cares, unfulfilling? You've lived for long enough, once you kill him it's over. We've always known that."

"And that's where you and I differ," Killian said, eyes glancing to the door of the boathouse. "I realized there is still something worth living for."

Hook scoffed. "What, her? I mean, she's a hell of a kisser, but nothing special."

Killian laughed, "You can't lie to me of all people. I knew there was something special about that lass the moment she held a knife to my throat. And you knew too, why else would you seek her out after she left you unconscious in your cabin?"

Hook's gaze dropped for a moment and Killian turned back toward the boathouse door. Suddenly he felt a cold hook close around his neck.

"Love has made you soft Killian, and soft men don't get what they want." Killian clenched his jaw. Apparently he was better at getting out of knots than he was at tying them. Who knew? A sharp pain blossomed through Killian's head and he fell.

* * *

**AN: Let me know what you think of part 1/the premise. **

**Thanks again for all of the support. Yes, you too, silent hundreds who don't like to talk to me! I appreciate you reading it and hope you are having fun too! **


	19. Remember Me (2 of 2): Good Form

_**Recap:**_

Killian laughed, "You can't lie to me of all people. I knew there was something special about that lass the moment she held a knife to my throat. And you knew too, why else would you seek her out after she left you unconscious in your cabin?"

Hook's gaze dropped for a moment and Killian turned back toward the boathouse door. Suddenly he felt a cold hook close around his neck.

"Love has made you soft Killian, and soft men don't get what they want." Killian clenched his jaw. Apparently he was better at getting out of knots than he was at tying them. Who knew? A sharp pain blossomed through Killian's head and he fell.

* * *

**_Remember Me: Part 2 of 2 (Good form)_**

* * *

"Killian?"

He forced his eyes open to see Swan's concerned face above him. "Aye, lass...oh bloody hell, where did he go?"

"Don't know," David responded, "Emma spent a few minutes outside telling me not to freak out and I come in and all I see is a pirate out cold. For a moment I thought Emma had killed you and needed me to help her hide the body."

"That's quite uncalled for, mate."

"You're right. I'm the sheriff..."

"Perhaps you could redirect that hostility toward the not so nice version of me that just attacked me from behind. Bloody coward."

"You do know you are still talking about yourself?" Emma asked. "Besides, we've knocked him out from behind at least two or three times now."

"Aye, really really can't be good for me."

"Are you two actually discussing what I think you are discussing?" David asked in confusion. Emma nodded and David glanced back and forth between them then sighed. "One normal night, is that really so much to ask for?"

"Apparently," Emma replied.

"Well I suppose we better go bring him in before he burns this whole town to the ground, again."

"Oh, come on, I wasn't that bad."

David raised his eyebrows. "You literally helped almost wipe the entire town from existence."

Killian looked contemplative for a moment... "Yeah, you're right we really should go find him. Could you at least try not to do too much...damage. I'd like to still have one or two limbs at the end of the day."

"No worries, _mate," _David said seriously,_ "_If I have to shoot him I promise to feel slightly put out for at least a few minutes."

"Very funny, David," Emma said with a smirk, "but in all seriousness we are at a bit of a disadvantage. He can hurt us, we can't do lasting damage to him. Not if you want to not be ... you know, dead in Neverland."

"Where do you think he is," Charming asked.

"I don't know, but if we don't get him back... who knows what could change. Everything seems fine so far, maybe that means we'll get him back there eventually?"

"Or I've made no mark on history... That would be a bit of a disappointment." Killian replied.

Charming grimaced.

"Thanks, mate, I appreciate your faith in me." Killian laughed but Charming didn't smile. Killian's own smile fell and he approached David rapidly, grabbing his side, causing the prince to flinch away. Emma looked confused until David lifted his shirt sightly exposing the beginning of the dreamshade's cruel marks.

Emma blanched, "It's probably like... like when we accidentally kept my parents from meeting. I didn't immediately cease to exist because we fixed it soon enough, but apparently there's a limit on that effect..."

"You did what?" Charming broke in.

Emma sighed, "Can we talk about this later? You should go to Gold see if he can do anything to delay it...Come on Killian, where would you go?"

"To the docks, to look for the Jolly. He'd be able to see from here that she's not there. Still, he might be hanging around to see if she's shielded by magic. Why don't you go ahead, I'll stay behind and see if he is lingering. If I were him I'd wait for you all to leave before confirming she wasn't here."

Emma nodded and she and Charming headed back into town while Killian left the boathouse from the other side.

Before long, just as Killian suspected he heard a small splash. Hook was down by the pier, tossing pebbles into the water to check for an invisible ship.

"She's not there," Killian called, and Hook spun around.

"You again? I thought you went with your wench."

"I don't remember being so bloody rude," Killian sighed.

"Alas, you bring out the worst in me."

"She's no wench. She bested you-"

"She got me three sheets and offered herself to me. Bloody few men could resist that and I'd not want them on my crew for a long voyage."

"And the second time?"

Hook just tossed another pebble into the sea, clearly not believing Killian's claim.

"Just some girl in a tavern, the face of a night?" Killian continued.

"Was she expecting more? I'd gladly keep a lass like that around a few days...but they tend to get a little ... sore." He continued along the docks still tossing the pebbles into the water every few feet.

"I was you, Hook, I know why you let yourself be swallowed by drink and meaningless...nightcaps. But she was different and you know it."

"Sure, Killian, you can tell her that later, if it gets you what you need."

Killian smiled, "So why did you follow her after she left you in a heap on the floor? Why not just move on to the next empty-headed bar wench?"

Hook's dark gaze faltered for a moment and then he smirked, "because she promised me a nightcap. We always take what we're owed, don't we, _Killian_."

"She doesn't owe you a damn thing," Killian growled, "except perhaps an excruciatingly slow death. Fortunately for you she is fonder of me than she is of you."

"Fond?" Hook scoffed, "You can keep your fondness! Has she ever kissed you like that, _Killian? _Has she ever pressed you up against the ladder of your cabin because she just ...can't... wait... a moment longer? Do you know what she tastes like, spiked with rum and lust?" The pirate chuckled when he saw Killian clenching his fists.

"She played you, just admit it," Killian's voice was tight with anger.

"Oh, that she did, but how far do you think that little...deception would have gone if you hadn't stopped her. She enjoyed her part. How did it feel to know she wanted me ... and all you could do was watch. Watch and wish she wanted the puppy you've become. She prefers sharks."

Killian clenched his fist, every muscle taught as he strained not to punch this man ... again.

Hook laughed coldly, "Really, nothing? I thought you liked this lass...I've gotten so bloody civilized, it's boring!" Finally he threw the handful of pebbles into the sea in frustration, "Where is she?"

"Gone."

"Gone... you lost her?"

"I gave her up, for something I needed more."

"You gave...you gave away my ship? Liam's ship... His cabin..." Hook was speechless for a moment and then he exploded into anger, "I never skinned the crocodile and I gave away the Jolly Roger, who the hell are you?"

"You know how much that ship meant to me. I knew every inch of her. Liam's cabin, the deck, that deck where we'll always see Milah no matter how many years pass. Doesn't it tell you something that I gave it all up for a chance to-"

"Don't even say Milah's name! You gave up that right the moment you stopped fighting for her. Apparently I'm going to lose my bloody mind... Look, I know you don't realize how screwed up this is, but I'm going to fix this, Killian. I can fix this. I can make it right...but I don't need you around to do it."

He drew his cutlass and advanced on Killian who drew his own.

"You can't beat me Killian, you'd kill yourself." Hook said, charging forward and soon the ringing of metal ripped through the quiet night, silencing the calling of the night birds.

"I don't have to kill you, and I know all your tricks, captain."

Hook smirked even as Killian backed him away from the pier, back towards the boathouse but his eyes slipped to something behind Killian.

"Not this one," Hook muttered. Pulling a blade from his belt he threw it toward the end of the dock, Killian heard a splash but didn't turn until Hook grinned muttering, "You think your lady love can swim with a hole in her stomach?"

Killian's eyes widened but his eyes grew steely. "She left, she wasn't here. What kind of a fool-"

Hook grinned again, "Doesn't matter to me, _lad_, you can't kill me anyway. Besides if she dies perhaps the real Captain Hook will return to this time."

Killian cursed and dropped his cutlass, sprinting for the water. Shedding his coat as he ran he dove into the icy water. He couldn't see, the water was pitch black and he flailed blindly in search of a hand or a lock of hair to tell him where she had fallen. He dove again and again, searching the water blindly until his arms and legs cramped and he could no longer control the shivering in his limbs. It was too long, If she had gone under it was over a long time ago. Pulling himself back to the dock he cried out in anger and frustration before diving in once more, one final search for his Swan.

Hook was long gone when Killian finally crawled from the sea, tears and seawater burning his eyes. In mad hope he sprinted for the town, lungs burning and numb muscles protesting. He had hardly cleared the docks when he caught sight of a vision moving towards him. Without even slowing he collided into Emma closing his arms around her and burying his head in her neck.

"Killian? What... You're soaked... and freezing! What the hell happened?"

"Outwitted by myself, I don't know if I should be proud or ashamed. I thought...I searched the water for you. I hoped... but I couldn't be sure."

"Come on, let's get you back to Granny's."

"No," and he began to lead her towards her parent's apartment. "Killian, I have my own apartment now... and you need to get back to Granny's and get dry."

"I will, but first I need you to go inside and lock the door. Please Swan, just for tonight? Stay with your parents. She looked unconvinced but he continued, "You should keep an eye on David anyway, right?"

She nodded and knocked on the door hesitantly when they arrived. Her parents gladly welcomed her inside.

Emma hesitated at the door and reached for Killian's arm when he turned to go.

"Killian, why don't you go get changed into dry clothes and come stay here?" she asked, her eyes worried, " Henry and I can share the bed and then they'll have an extra couch..."

He shook his head. "Once you lock this door, do not open it for me until morning, understand? I have to go back to the boathouse..."

"Why? Do you think he'll go back?"

"We forgot the hook. I'm going to see if I can get it before he does, though I suspect he's already been there and is long gone by now. It's not the kind of thing I generally misplace."

"I'm going with you."

He shook his head slightly. "Please stay here, Swan. I thought I lost you tonight. I couldn't live with that, particularly by my own hand, however convoluted the circumstances."

'Killian, you know... We'll find him. We'll fix this and..." she hesitated again, "You know I don't see you any differently now that I've met him?"

"You should."

He tried to pull away but she tightened her grip.

"I already knew about ...him, about your past. It's ok, I know you're different now. This only goes to show how much."

He nodded distractedly and Emma leaned in to kiss him lightly on the cheek before disappearing into the apartment, Killian didn't leave until he heard the lock slide into place behind her.

As he suspected the hook was gone by the time he arrived at the boathouse again, instead he found a piece of paper stuck to the wall with a blade through it.

_I'll find her weakness. You know everyone has someone you can threaten to get what you want. _

Killian scoffed, he knew this game. It was his game. Vague threats caused people to converge on the point of weakness. Great for picking out vulnerabilities...

Despite his desire to return to her, and to check on Henry he didn't; instead making straight back for his room, silently laughing at the frustrated pirate he knew was somewhere watching him. He thought he had the upper hand until he returned to his apartment to find the door unlocked. Nothing was out of place but he knew the message.

_I could do it, and I will_

Quickly changing out of the now partially dried garments he sank onto the bed. Exhausted but knowing he would not sleep.

* * *

"Hello Tink, been too long." Hook purred, catching up with Tinkerbelle as she left a building called Granny's.

"Not really, not at all actually," Tinkerbelle said with a smile, "your memory going?"

"Of course not, darling, but any amount of time away from as lovely a face as yours is too long."

Tinkerbelle's brow furrowed. "Are you drunk?"

"Probably, why do you ask."

"We've been through this. I am not, nor will I ever let you use me to distract you from Emma Swan."

"Emma, who's Emma, I only see you?"

"Yeah, I just needed to hear it again, that will make it work!" Tinkerbelle rolled her eyes.

"My apologies, Tink, I didn't mean to offend you. Perhaps I just wanted to see a friendly face."

Tink's glare softened and Hook knew he had her, "All right Killian, do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really, but there is someone that I would like to talk to."

"Well go talk to her then."

"What?"

"Emma. Go talk to her already. I can see it in her eyes, she's just afraid to open up-"

"Good to know, darling, but I actually was referring to Rumpelstiltskin. Where can I find him?"

Tinkerbelle eyed him suspiciously for a moment. "Probably at his pawn shop with David, they've been trying to slow the dreamshade."

"Thank you for your assistance." With that Hook turned and made his way down the street.

"Where are you going?" she called.

Hook turned, "Ah, well I was going to make another stop first but perhaps you're right, I should just go there now."

Before he could head down the street in the other direction the lass, the blonde one flew out of the door behind Tinkerbelle, cutlass drawn. "Get out of here, Tink, find Killian."

"Emma, what are you talking about-" Tink asked.

"Now Tinkerbelle, and work under the assumption that I am not currently insane, It will save time."

It was quite a sight, he had to admit. The lass had some gumption, crossing blades with a pirate. Softening his features he turned to Emma, "Is something wrong, love?"

Confusion drifted across her face her eyes dropped to his black vest.

"Killian?"

"Aye?"

She lowered her blade slightly, "Sorry, I ... thought..."

A warm smile flicked to his lips, "I'm glad, love, can't be too careful. How's David?"

She visibly relaxed and sheathed her cutlass. "He's with Gold, it's slow moving, but he says we really need to get Hook sent back soon or it will take him. And who knows what else is changing that we can't see so well, I should probably check on him."

Hook nodded, "shall we?" he asked, turning toward the shop.

"Swan!?"

Emma turned and Hook drew his cutlass stepping in front of Emma eying the approaching pirate warily.

Black vest too. Emma noticed, Damn.

"Stay away from her, Hook," the pirate closest to her challenged.

_Screw this,_ Emma thought pulling her gun. "Both of you against the wall, this is ridiculous."

"Emma, love, what are you doing?" said the man next to her.

"Go."

Emma looked at the two pirates both so alike, both gazing at her with soft warm eyes. She tossed handcuffs to both of them, "I think you know what to do with these."

"Swan, really? Can't we talk about this, he doesn't know you like I do, just listen to me..."

She shook her head and the other pirate snapped the cuffs on with a muttered, "as you wish."

Relief flooded through her and she turned her gun to Hook who still held the cuffs. "Put them on, Hook, and move over here."

"You're making a mistake, Swan," he said, pulling away from the wall slowly. "I've always been a hell of an actor, you know that. Don't do this." She holstered her gun, knowing she couldn't actually shoot him and drew her cutlass again, drawing closer.

"Please, Emma, just give me a chance to show you-"

She opened her mouth to retort but he suddenly exploded into movement, cutlass flashing down towards her with a rapidity that put her immediately on the defensive.

"What a pleasure to see you again, Emma Swan. I should tell you though, you need not chase Tink away with blade drawn love, I'd be more than happy to-"

Killian drew away from the wall and Hook turned to him, "You can't help her with your hands tied Killian. Stay out of the way, or I will kill her. You know I can."

"Good luck," Emma scoffed but Killian froze as she continued speaking. "You don't belong here, Hook, this isn't your time. Let us send you back. You can go back to pillaging and plundering and whatever else it is you do for fun."

"I thought we had some business to take care of, you and I." Hook teased driving Emma backwards with the intensity of his blows.

"The only business I'll have with you is to hit you very hard and drag you to the jail until I can figure out what to do with you."

"Don't be coy, love, you know precisely what to do with me."

His hook captured her blade and she cursed her stupidity in leaving it stuck to the roof of the boathouse. In the flurry of the previous evenings events she had entirely forgotten that it was lodged there. She blocked each ferocious attack, stumbling backwards until she tripped over a curb and fell.

Hook claimed her blade with his hook and leaned over her smirking, "I knew you would look lovely on your back, lass."

A sudden force threw him backwards. He landed hard, slightly dazed, and fought to move as the force held him in place. Before he knew what was happening Emma had moved behind him and bound his hands in some kind of metal shackles. He peered over his shoulder at her, twisting his arms trying to loosen them. The shackles held tight.

"You really have a thing for this don't you?"

"Oh yes. Come nicely and perhaps I'll tie you to my bed," Emma muttered sarcastically, pushing him away from the diner and down the street pausing only to release Killian from his own binds. "Go check the shop, make sure he hasn't done any damage yet" she told Killian, "I'll meet you at the station."

They walked slowly to the station, Emma watching Hook closely the whole time for any sign of deception. When they finally reached the station Hook spun around, pushing himself into Emma and throwing her off balance and into a wall.

"This is familiar isn't it, lass," he whispered in her ear, pressing himself against her. "I know you felt it too, love, come with me, taste the fire again." Emma raised her knee and jammed it into someplace he wouldn't soon forget. Hook stumbled, falling backwards with a groan.

"Oy," A voice called from behind her. Killian was jogging to catch up with her from the direction of the shop. "Easy on the goods, love."

"My my, you are a saucy one," Hook's strangled voice teased as he struggled to right himself.

"Oh you have no idea," she taunted and he grinned. She pushed him the rest of the way into the station and soon he was locked into the cell and she turned to Killian.

"You let me win," she said in an accusatory tone.

"Excuse me? You mean.. he did?"

"No... on Lake Nostros... you let me win didn't you? I didn't know how to use my magic then."

Hook chuckled from the cell, "If you didn't have magic, my dear, I would have impaled you, and that _is_ a promise." Hook laughed again, and Killian's jaw tensed "Speaking of promises, I was promised you would tie me to your bed love, are you not going to keep your word?"

"And I was promised a nightcap and the best night of my life. Apparently neither of us are very good at keeping our promises."

"I'm a man of my word, Swan, bring the lad's flask in here and I'll give you the night he's never given you. He doesn't even have to leave, trust me, he likes to watch."

Killian opened his mouth angrily, but to his surprise Emma just laughed. "Are you actually competing with yourself, what is it with you two?" She leaned closer to the bars with a smirk, "besides how would you know anything about how we spend our nights?"

"Oh, no, no, lass." Hook drew closer to the metal bars and Emma backed off just slightly. "A woman that kisses like that... I know he's not satisfying you, love. But I would. You need a real pirate to show you..." Suddenly Hook dropped to the floor with a thud, limbs contracting spasmodically.

Emma spun to Killian in shock..."Did you... Did you actually just taser yourself?" Killian eyed the twitching pirate on the floor, "Is that what it's called? Nifty little device."

"You didn't know what it did?"

"No, but it didn't look like a normal firearm...and whatever it was I figured he deserved it."

Emma sighed, "Yeah probably. He is fun to mess with though."

Hook finally stilled and ripped the probes from his skin with a wince. Still he stayed on the ground. It would probably be a while before he regained total control of his muscles.

Killian scoffed, "You're torturing me for fun, love, you think I don't know that?"

Emma smiled leaning back against her desk.

"That's not good form, love."

Grabbing his lapels she pulled him in for another scorching kiss, as always, managing to take him completely off guard. Too soon she pulled away, a small smile on her lips.

"Bloody hell," Hook called, "if I told you I let you win would you kiss me like that?"

"Can we at least gag, him?" Killian muttered heatedly, barely pulling away.

"Only if you promise to-" Hook started, but his jaw dropped when Emma leaned backwards over the desk, still locked in Killian's arms as she reached for the taser he had set down there.

When she picked it up Hook raised his hands in a gesture of acquiescing conveniently forgetting the rest of his sentence.

"How have you never used that on me before?" Killian muttered into her ear as she righted herself. Emma wrapped one arm around his neck the taser still dangling from her fingertips.

"Honestly sometimes I wonder myself," Emma responded, "but I must keep you around for something," she teased feigning a contemplative look before saying "Ah, right..." and kissing him again.

Killian didn't fail to notice her eyes flicking to Hook with a smirk, and he raised his eyebrows.

"You are having entirely too much fun, darling, playing us against one another. If I didn't know better, I'd say you liked seeing me jealous."

"Perhaps I do," she said, detangling herself from Killian. Moments later Regina entered with a small vial in one hand. Handing it to Emma she explained, "It will wipe his memories for a few days . He'll be a little confused but should still be functional."

Emma nodded, "What about the portal, can we send him back to a specific time?"

"I can't open the portal, maybe Gold-"

Emma reached over for her desk drawer, pulling the wand Rumpelstiltskin had given her in the past. "I can open the portal, but I suspect it will take us back to where we were before...I don't know how to control it. If I can open it can you... make sure the aim is good."

Regina nodded, "Just like when you go through a portal, when you open one your desire can aim it. Think hard of where you want him to go when it opens."

Emma's eyes were drawn back to Hook when a quick ripping sound came from the cell. He had pulled himself back onto the bed while they spoke but otherwise nothing looked out of place.

"We should go. David is still with Gold but I don't want to assume the dreamshade will continue to work at its current pace."

Killian nodded and approached the cell. "We're sending you back, I'd be happy to use that... taser gun on you once more but I'd prefer to do as little damage as possible ... so we're going to start with just the handcuffs." Killian tossed them to Hook who slipped them on his wrists obediently.

Emma smiled, "Should have done that earlier."

"Give us a moment?" Killian asked, nodding to Hook.

She nodded and handed him the vial, "We'll meet you there."

Leaning against Emma's desk he looked in on his past self. "You know what this will do," he said bluntly, holding up the tiny vial.

Hook nodded looking conflicted.

"This won't change anything," Killian said, "The choice will be yours entirely, just as it was last time. If you think you will make a different decision that's fine, just give time the chance to right itself."

Hook stood shakily, "Do you still love her? Milah?"

Killian hesitated for only a moment. "Yes, but she is gone. She is my past. Now I have a future."

"This woman, Emma Swan? You love her?"

"More than I thought I was still capable of."

"And Swan... despite everything? Despite me..."

"She saved my life once, at a steep cost. She's a tough lass...but I think perhaps so."

Hook watched him curiously for a moment and then nodded.

Killian opened the cell door making for the boathouse with Hook in tow. When they arrived Emma and Regina stepped forward. The wand began to glow again and with a wave of Emma's arm the portal opened and Hook's handcuffs fell away. Regina nodded to Emma who tried to focus on the Jolly Roger, some time after they had landed in the Dark One's vault. With fuzzy memories of the last few days he would think he'd had quite the night.

Killian handed the bottle to Hook who swallowed it, wincing at what was probably an unpleasant flavor. He made for the portal with sure steps, turning a moment before entering. His gaze fell on Emma, trying futilely to commit her face to memory before he stepped backwards into the vortex.

The vortex vanished and Killian collapsed head splitting with agony. His mind was jumbled and confused when a sudden wash of new memories overwhelmed him. This isn't supposed to happen...

_He woke and the room was far too bright. Too much rum. Again. Pulling himself to his feet he waited for the world to stabilize as he sat on his bed with his head in his hands. _

_It never worked. _

_He wasn't sure why he bothered any more. Endless alcohol, mindless tavern wenches, nothing helped. When he woke it was always her. Milah. Pain and anger and darkness and emptiness that rum could never ever wash away. _

_Best try again. _

_He reached into his coat pocket for the flask and pulled out a small scrap of white fabric. A few words were scrawled on the back in his own handwriting in an ink that smelled metallic, like blood._

_'Find Emma Swan.'_

When Killian's head finally cleared he was leaning heavily against Emma.

"What the hell was that," she asked.

"I found you." He said with a sigh, looking at her with a wonder that rivaled the look on his face when he had first seen her in New York. Regina made a sound of annoyance and stalked away from them as Emma helped him to stand.

"I know... I never really thanked you. For finding me, in New York. How did you do it. How did you get to me?"

He looked confused for a moment and then spoke.

"Well the curse was coming. I ditched my crew and took the Jolly Roger as fast and as far as I possibly could to outrun it."

"You outran a curse?"

"I'm a hell of a Captain. Once I was outside of the curse's purview I knew that the walls were down. Transport between the worlds was possible again. All I needed was a magic bean."

"Those are not easy to come by."

"They are if you've got something of value to trade."

"And what was that?"

"Why the Jolly Roger, of course." He smiled weakly at the admission expecting her to laugh at his desperation.

She didn't laugh, at first she couldn't even speak. There was wonder in her voice when she finally spoke. "You traded your ship for me?"

"Aye."

She leaned forward and kissed him gently. Without teasing or competition, just two people, looking for home. For a moment Killian didn't move, then he reached forward to run his fingers through her hair. He felt Emma's fingers sliding to rest at the back of his neck and he very nearly collapsed from the relief.

So long. A year, thirty years, he wasn't really sure anymore. He had waited so long, but he finally found her.

She pulled away slightly and smiled. He couldn't help but return her smile before pulling her back to him, marveling at the feeling of her smile against his lips. Finally Emma pulled away just a breath so she could ask him. "What happened Killian? You collapsed, did he change something?"

"He wanted to be sure... I never was one to leave something important to chance."

"What are you talking about?"

"When I got back, I did blame it on the rum, as we knew I would, but when I reached into my pocket I found a scrap of fabric there. Apparently he... I must have stolen some of the fabric from the cell sheets to write a message to myself."

"What did it say."

Killian looked sheepish for a moment, "I became obsessed by the idea. It didn't clear revenge from my mind but it was always there. I was afraid somehow that I would forget it when Cora's curse came through. So I-" He glanced away, but Emma placed a hand on his cheek and kissed him softly again.

"All right lass, but you must promise not to run away."

"I'm done running."

Killian bit his lip in something that looked like apprehension, before raising his hand to his vest pulling it aside. There, tattooed under his collarbone were the words "Find Emma Swan."

Her jaw dropped. "Was that...always there?"

"Yes. Or...no..." He looked confused then laughed, "I'm not really sure ... I have two sets of memories now, one where I met you and had never heard your name. And another where I had this done and tried to find you in every port I landed in. I don't know how it's possible, but I remember looking for you, waiting for you ...before you were even born." He chuckled uneasily, watching Emma carefully to see if she was going to run.

"If you remembered my name why were you working for Cora? Why not help us?"

Killian chuckled, "I did help you, as you recall, you left first. I actually began to wonder if the message meant something else, If this Emma Swan was someone to be wary of. That's why I told you I was done with you... But I couldn't shake the feeling that... Having two sets of memories is confusing, lass, I don't know how you do it."

She raised her fingers lightly to his collarbone, running her fingertips over the words. "You did, either way, you did find me... but... You know, if memory curses can steal memories so cleanly I can't imagine magical tattoo removal would be very hard. I could probably remove it now."

He raised his hand to cover her fingers still lightly dancing over the mark. "I like it. Now, no matter what tries to obliterate us or our memories, I will always remember to find you."

Emma smiled, but she didn't know what to say. Killian was the one who always knew what to say. He was all flowery language and court manners under a heavy veil of innuendo. But she knew how to do one thing. She could take his breath away with a kiss, and that would have to be enough.

For now.

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**AN: Thanks for reading. I loved some of your responses to the 'teaser' I sent out. You guys are hilarious!**

**Double thanks to those of you who have left me prompts and ideas. You all are genius, I haven't forgotten, all are safely saved in a doc, waiting for inspiration to strike. **


	20. Pariah

_**Prompt:**_

_**Scorp' Blues : you tell me to share if i've got some ideas, here it comes : in the show we don't have an explanation for David to trust Killian again after he accused him og lying about the potion in the boatshed, I'm sure you could fill this blank and make it right!**_

**Thanks for the prompt, I also wanted to touch on a detail that I think is never explicitly stated but that I think is really important. Everyone expects Killian and Charming to be friends but so much of Killian's character development is out of his sight. He still has pretty good reason to just see him as just a pirate at this point.**

**This is one of my favorite kind of scenes to write, the ones that fit neatly in between the scene cuts of the show! **

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"Listen to me, mate-"

"I think we are all done listening to you, _mate. _If you'll excuse me I have to go get the truck ... we're going to the cemetery."

"You said it yourself, it sounds like Snow? How was I supposed to know-"

"You keep assuming I actually believe your story about a bird...really, a bird brought you a memory potion? You think I don't see the way you look at her, Hook? Quite convenient that you're the only one who remembered this past year... But now I remember. You're a pirate, Hook, you always will be. Couldn't spend two hours with us back in the Enchanted Forrest before you went off alone again in search of that damn ship."

"Oh and you would have preferred I stay with you, be one of the team?" Hook scoffed.

Charming clenched his jaw and stepped toward Hook. "You think we didn't hear about what you were doing? You made quite a name for yourself, the highway banditry, the taverns, a new woman every night." Charming shook his head. "Sounds like you found plenty of things to distract you from your _love _of Emma."

Hook winced, "Mate -"

He barely got the word out before it was cut off by Charming's swift punch to the nose. "Bloody hell, mate, is it something in particular you detest about my nose or is it just at a convenient height?"

"Enough with the _mate, _Hook. I am not your mate. You can play the hero all you like but we know who you are when she's not looking. You should consider yourself _lucky_ that Emma wasn't there to see that year." Charming turned for the truck with rapid steps.

"Damn it David, this has nothing to do with me," Hook called and David froze. "Don't let her do this alone."

"She is not alone, she has us."

"Ah, yes, of course, I'm sure your very pregnant wife will be exceedingly helpful in a fight."

"And I suppose you think you're the one to help? What exactly were you planning on doing Hook because neither kidnapping her son nor moping around feeling sorry for yourself were really solid plans."

"I realize I made a mistake but what would you have done if it were your wife?"

"It was my wife, once! I've been there, Hook. Staring down Regina's curse and trying to protect my family-"

"Aye, you have. And what did you do?"

"I got Emma the hell out of..." David paused, "it doesn't matter, it wasn't your decision to make."

"I know that, but she made it my decision. She gave me an ultimatum, take Emma's magic or the lad dies. Tell Emma, the lad dies...are you figuring out the theme here? ...I bloody panicked, is that what you want to hear? What would you have done?"

There was a tone of desperation in Killian's voice now and Charming realized the question wasn't rhetorical. Killian ran his fingers through his hair and Charming noticed for the first time that there were dark circles under his eyes that were not due to the kohl. Without a mask of a smirk, the man looked spent and frustrated and Charming felt the slightest hint of sympathy for him.

"I don't know, Killian, but sending her son on a ship to New York is pretty much never going to be the right answer. We would have figured something out."

"Yes, because we've been so effective fighting Zelena up until now. Emma's the only one that's been able to hold a candle to her the she knows it. If Zelena gets to Emma, gets to her magic... we're all done for, you and I both know that."

"Emma can handle this."

"Ah, yes, the savior thing. Convenient. Look, mate, you're right. She's the one with the light magic, the product of true love, the savior. The bloody hero complex runs in the family. What do you think she's going to do if Zelena gives her the same choice as she gave me? Her magic for her lad?"

"She'd give it up in a moment."

"Aye, she'd give it up in a moment for her lad. Even for her parents and the little royal-to-be. And then we're just supposed to trust that the Wicked Witch will keep her word and leave the boy alone? We can't let Emma do this alone, we can't let her think this is her battle."

Charming was silent for a moment, then sighed. "What are any of us going to do?"

"Remind her that she still a part of something."

"And you're the expert on that? She's is a part of something. She is a part of our family and she knows it."

"And yet she can't wait to run away from it. She's running scared, don't let her cut herself off."

"Anyone we send with her is just going to be another opportunity for Zelena."

"Not anyone." Hook said with a melancholy half-smile.

"What do you mean?"

"You may not have noticed but the Princess is not very fond of me at the moment. That makes me pretty safe backup, don't you think? Besides, Zelena still think she can use me to take her magic. As long as she thinks I'm useful perhaps I'll have a chance against her."

"How can I trust you didn't make a deal with Zelena back in the Enchanted Forest, you know...when you weren't busy stealing and womanizing?"

Hook sighed in exasperation. "Because whether you like it or not, I am in love with your daughter. You can choose to believe the stories from that year if you like, but then answer one question: If those stories are true, and I am a liar, Why am I here? I could be burgling your bloody castle right now. I could be seducing my way through all the taverns in all the realms living off of your family's jewels. Instead, I'm here, being ignored or actively despised by the woman I love, a leper to most of the town. I get punched in the face routinely and occasionally get kidnapped by green-skinned megalomaniacs. The pirates life for me, eh mate?"

The prince's eyebrows furrowed, "If you let anything happen to her-" he said threateningly.

"You'll shoot me in the face. I'd expect nothing less."

"I'm serious."

"I lost the woman I love once. It destroyed me, crushed me into something loathsome and unrecognizable... I have no intention of surviving that experience again...It's quite possible you are not being as serious as I am, right now."

David stared for a moment but he couldn't see any hint of a joke in his eyes. Before he could respond a voice got his attention from behind Hook. "Hey David did you..."

Emma trailed off when she came around the corner and saw Killian.

"What the hell are you doing here?" She asked coldly. As David watched a look of anguish covered the pirate's face. It lasted only a moment and it was carefully hidden away before he turned to face her.

"Leaving, evidently."

"I think that would be best."

"You know where to find me, lass, if you need-"

"I don't need anything from you."

His jaw clenched and nodded, "Aye, that I know," he muttered before turning away towards his rooms at Granny's. Charming's eyes followed the pirate as he disappeared around the corner, mind still processing his words.

"...lost."

Charming shook his head to clear it, "Sorry, Emma, what was that?"

"We were starting to wonder if you got lost, What were you two talking about."

"Oh, nothing, ready to go?"

Emma nodded and walked back towards the apartment as Charming climbed into the truck to bring it around for Snow. All the while his mind replayed that moment, watching Hook's face fall at the chill in Emma's voice, it reminded him of someone.

He suddenly knew without a doubt what his face had looked like when Snow White told him that she did not love him and that he should marry Abigail.

Hook was a pirate, a scoundrel and a theif and he would never be good enough for his daughter...but in a moment of surprise Charming realized that there was no more denying it... Captain Hook was in love with his daughter. It was rather hard to wrap his head around. He had known Emma for such a short time, in his mind she was still his little girl. And she had to be protected from the world... from men like Captain Hook.

She was grown now though, had a son of her own and was taking on the Wicked Witch almost singlehandedly. She was surrounded by family, and Killian Jones was the only one in the town who had noticed that Emma was scared to death. Not of the Witch, perhaps, but she was scared of something.

Perhaps he was letting himself be made a fool, but he found himself more certain with every passing moment that Killian Jones...Pirate, scoundrel and thief that he may be... he would trade his life for Emma's or her son's without a second thought.

What more could a father really ask for?

_All right, pirate,_ Charming decided, _You've got your chance. Don't make me shoot you. __  
_

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**AN: It turns out I am physically capable of writing a story that doesn't end in a kiss. **Who knew :P ** **

**Even that time I killed off Killian (that still hurts by the way...maybe I need to even the playing field by killing off Emma next *ducks flaming arrows*) I still ended it with a kiss... but given Charming is a married man and all it didn't quite seem to fit :P**


	21. The Making of a Gentleman

**Nouqueret Prompt: ****Here I go again. have always thought that if he and his brother were both navel officers they were not from poor familys. Back then even in the EF to be a high ranged officer you had to have a ciertan social status. Because really look at his manners and why he talks , he has a better educación then Charming! **

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**Based on a few things I think it's unlikely Liam and Killian grew up together. 1 The a****ge difference makes me think they may have grown up in different ****circumstances. 2 There is ... almost an idolization of Liam by Killian in the interactions we see... it doesn't suggest your standard sibling relationship to me. But it would fit better if Liam picked Killian up from the gutter (literally or metaphorically) after he was abandoned by their father. So that's the kind of backstory I am going to play with!**

**Fitting with the themes of this collection of stories (Storytelling and CS) I'll do it in the style of a story being told (shown, technically) to Emma. **

** To try to clarify the transitions: anything in the past will be italicized and from the young Killian's point of view, for simplicity (It's magic right, I can use whatever POV I want! :P) Interactions in the present will be normal text and from an external point of view. Hopefully that will not be too confusing.**

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"It's not the same without the dress." Emma complained with a small smile, indicating her jeans and boots. She was sure most of the town would think she was doing something else entirely with the pirate alone in her apartment, but in fact she had asked him to teach her another dance. "Besides... I think I like the waltz better."

"Of course you do." Killian teased, closing the distance between them to hold her waist again as he switched to a waltz step.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Emma asked falling into the now comfortable steps with him.

"Oh I meant no offense, your royal highness. The waltz is a wonderfully... intimate dance," he purred, "The minuet is too formal for people like us."

Emma rolled her eyes. "Wouldn't 'your grace,' be more fitting?" She asked teasingly, "I thought you said I was a natural dancer?"

"'Your grace' is for duchesses. It would not be fitting at all, my princess."

Emma rolled her eyes. "You would know that...Actually...why do you know that?"

"I have many hidden talents, darling, one day perhaps you'll reveal them all."

"I'm serious, Killian. Why did you fit in so easily at that ball? Were you a prince in another life?" she teased.

He raised his eyebrows. "Would that be so terrible, your royal highness. Princesses are supposed to find their prince after all."

Emma's jaw dropped and a look of horror passed over her face as she stepped back. "Wait...what...?!"

"Do try not to panic love, I assure you I am no prince. I do find it curious that the idea so horrifies you."

Emma shrugged, "I've never really been the kind of girl that expected to find Prince Charming-" she stopped abruptly and shuddered. "That never stops being weird."

Killian laughed and Emma looked at him pointedly.

"Why are you avoiding the question?"

"It's something of a long story, love."

"Perhaps you can show me?"

"If it's all the same to you I'd prefer to stay in the current timeline for a while." Killian told her, eyebrows furrowed.

"No, I mean..." She waved her hand and the glass of the mirror on the other side of the room swirled. "You know all about my past now, isn't it only fair that I should learn why it is that Captain Hook, scourge of the oceans, knows how to ballroom dance?" She held out her hand to him, "Show me?"

Killian glanced concernedly at the mirror, hesitating for a moment before taking her hand. The mirror swirled again and a young boy's face came into view in the midst of a crowd of people. She knew that look. The lost look that gazed back at her from the mirror every day of her life until she had found her family again, until she found him...

"Who-" Emma started, and Killian stiffened next to her.

"Meet Killian Jones, Orphan and pickpocket. Not exactly Prince Charming, eh? I was to go on an adventure with my father, I had looked forward to such a trip all of my life. But on the morning we were to leave I found myself alone, made an orphan by my father's own choice. I was still young, young enough that I could count on some charity for a while after he left me to my own devices. Before long I realized that I would have to make my own charity. I learned to pick pockets, and I was bloody terrible at it. So I learned something that served me well for... many years. I exclusively targeted young ladies. Should they catch me I gave them such an innocent heartbroken look that not one managed more than a weak scolding."

Emma smiled slightly. "So you've always been this manipulative," Emma teased, but Killian didn't smile.

"Aye, love, I learned that it worked, saw no reason to abandon the practice. Before long it became unnecessary, for I would not get caught. Until... until Liam." Killian pointed to the mirror, where a young man in a neat blue uniform caught the young Killian's arm as he reached for a purse in a crowd. The man dragged Killian off the street before turning to face him.

_Killian put on his best innocent face but the man's eyes did not soften._

_"Your name is Killian Jones, is it not?"_

_Killian's eyes widened in surprise._

_"Answer the question."_

_"Yea, but how did-"_

_"Yes, not yea, boy. I'm going to take care of you from now on, Killian. No more picking pockets, understand."_

_"Yea...I mean, Yes... but..."_

_"It's taken me a while to find you, Killian, I apologize. My name is Lieutenant Liam Jones, and I'm your brother."_

_Killian's jaw dropped slightly but he closed his mouth rapidly, getting the feeling this man would not like that, for some reason._

_"Come on Killian, let's get you something to eat and we can talk."_

Killian turned to Emma who was still watching the mirror in fascination "That was Liam? He's so ... young."

"He was many years my senior, but yes, he made Lieutenant exceedingly young. From that day Liam saw to it I never had to steal for food. Thievery was bad form, he told me. But he was soon to ship out again. He was already Lieutenant of the _Jewel of the Realm_ and I was to go off to a military academy. The same one Liam attended apparently. Though the commander was not fond of the idea. Liam was accepted as one of them...but he was over a decade my senior. There were rumors that my father was ... well, not my father and having disappeared in disgrace he was not exactly around to assert my bloodline."

"What difference would that make?"

"You must understand Swan, military officers ... they came from a certain rank. Any question about that and... well...see for yourself."

The mirror swirled again and Emma watched as the younger Killian pressed his ear to an ornately carved wooden door.

_"It's not his place, perhaps he could be groomed into a decent engineer, but it is not my job to create gentlemen. Gentlemen are born, not made."_

_Killian pressed his ear to the door eagerly, but his face fell as he caught the commander's words._

_"Your opinions are your own," He could hear his brother's voice raising slightly in irritation, "but he _is_ my brother. All I ask is that he receive the same education as I did. If he fails to live up to the role of a military officer of the realm that is another matter entirely."_

_There was silence for a moment and then the commanders voice rose again._

_"All right Lieutenant, but this is no charity school."_

_"He will pay tuition like every other boy here, I've asked for no charity."_

_Killian heard chairs scraping and he ran from the door settling back down in his chair and trying his best to look relaxed. Liam exited first and nodded at Killian to follow him outside. They sat down on a stone wall outside and barely had they settled before Killian burst out "I can't afford tuition, Liam, you know I've not got nothing."_

_"'Do not have anything', Killian. And, in fact, you do. You have me now, remember. Your job here is to learn everything you can. And perhaps one day you can join me out at sea! When I'm captain, of course." Liam added with a smile._

_"But I'm not a gentleman, like he said-"_

_Were you listening outside the door, Killian?"_

_"Yea...s. Yes, perhaps."_

_"That's not good form, Killian."_

_"I'm sorry."_

_"Between you and me," Liam's voice lowered to a whisper, "he's wrong. Gentleman are made, Killian, and you will be a gentleman one day."_

_"How long will you be gone?" Killian asked tentatively. He had only just gotten used to having family again, he wasn't sure he was ready to start over..._

_"Hard to say, but trust me you'll be far too busy to miss me. As soon as we make port, I'll come visit. You'll have to tell me everything you've learned, of course, so pay close attention."_

_Killian nodded solemnly. Gentlemen were made. He knew it was true, because Liam did not lie. It was bad form._

That_ voyage had lasted nearly two months, the next one four, but Liam was right. Killian almost was too busy to notice. Every moment of every day from the breaking of the sun over the horizon to the middle of the night when he collapsed exhausted into his cot was scheduled, down to the minute. He rose promptly with the sun, tidied his bed just so (he had learned the hard way what happened when you left a corner untucked.) Getting dressed was also something of an ordeal, everything had to be shining, gleaming, wrinkle-less. Clean, tidy and orderly._

_His professors weren't particularly fond of him, pointing out on a regular basis how much they had to make up for due to his questionable upbringing. Still, Killian was determined to prove to them that gentleman could be made, as Liam said. By the time Liam returned from his first voyage Killian hardly ever slipped into his old habit of speaking._

_He learned geography, the languages of empires he hadn't known existed, and mathematics. He absorbed it all eagerly committing everything to memory to tell Liam when he returned. And it was worth it, all the late nights, because when Liam returned he smiled and told him he was proud of him. In return, Liam shared with Killian stories of his voyages, the lands he visited, the peoples he met. _

_After two years some of the boys in his class began to disappear into at sea training programs. They would happily mock Killian for having to stay in classes. They were going to learn what it really took to be a sailor. No Captain would accept an officer that had never gotten his uniform wet. __Killian gritted his teeth and bore their taunts with dignity as Liam had taught him. Still, it ate at him each day until finally, o__n one of Liam's shore leaves, he asked his brother about it._

_"They say this is how officers are trained. Is that true, am I not progressing fast enough to-?"_

_"That used to be how officers were trained," Liam interrupted. "Some of the older commanders still think you can't learn how to be an officer without being on the sea. Trust me Killian, this is where you want to be right now. Learn everything you can from them, and you'll be ready for all the sea can throw at you."_

_"How can I hope to command a ship when I've never been at sea myself?"_

_"You'll learn quickly, brother. Anyone can learn to tie a knot or swab the deck. You are learning to think like an officer."_

_So Killian learned the constellations of the stars and how to address a Prince compared to a Duke. He learned how to dance and how to calculate the velocity of a mass accelerating in a curve. How to fight with a cutlass and what words to use when accepting a dinner invitation. It became second nature to him to stop outside of a room and check his shirt was tucked in properly. _

_Still, the years passed achingly slowly, and it did not escape his notice that he was now the oldest in the academy. It only increased his desire to absorb everything that his teachers knew, if he was going to be stuck here he would learn everything. The professors began to design more complex curricula for Killian since he had so far surpassed the other students and when that was no longer enough, he was left to his own devices in the academy's extensive libraries. Having finally learned all he could from his professors he consumed the knowledge of the libraries voraciously. _

The mirror shifted once more and now Emma saw a young man, no longer a boy, sitting in a tavern with a simple meal of soup of some kind and bread. Killian stiffened at the sight and turned away pulling his hand from Emma's but she did not release him.

"I'm not sure you should see this one, love."

"I want to know." Emma responded simply. "How old are you?"

"I don't know love, it was so long ago. Perhaps 19? By then I was twice the age of most of the other's in the academy and my commanders allowed some measure of freedom. My education was now almost entirely in the libraries and I could eat in town away from the younger boys, if I wished. I took every opportunity to escape that academy, even if only for a meal. I never could completely escape though... The men that had been in the academy with me as a boy returned on shore leave occasionally. I often saw the sailors filling the local taverns. On shore leave days the streets were full of men trying to make up for lost time at sea." He glanced back at the mirror at the young man quietly eating his dinner and winced. "Many of the ladies that I usually saw shopping in the market or eating in the tavern failed to appear on shore leave days. Though I never quite understood why before...It left a sour taste in my mouth."

_William Davies was one such man. Killian remembered him well from his first few years in the academy, and despite his desire to avoid the man like the plague his dinner was interrupted by a cry across the tavern._

_"Killian JONES?"_

_Killian sighed and glanced up from his meal as the the man crashed clumsily down next to him._

_"Davies," Killian responded tiredly and the man grinned back at him._

_"What the bloody hell are you still doing in this blasted town...you're not still going to that God-forsaken school?" William's eyes glittered, and Killian knew a barb when he saw one. Still he kept his tone flat and unperturbed as he replied._

_"You mean the one responsible for teaching you stem from stern... theoretically?"_

_William laughed but there was a venom in his eyes, "Still as stuffy as always, land suits you."_

_"I wish I could say the same, sailor, but it seems your manners have not been improved in your time at sea." Killian eyed the remains of his dinner, silently wondering if he had time to finish his bread before William caught up with the conversation._

_Wiliam froze, glassy eyes and slow reflexes informing Killian that the glass of rum he was holding was likely not the first he had imbibed this evening. William was never a quick wit even without the influence of the alcohol. _

_"Really you're going to comment on my manners? And who did you get that from, Killian, your mother?"_

_"Whom."_

_"What?"_

_"From whom did you get that."_

_In retrospect it shouldn't have surprised Killian that it was not the insult to the man's manners but the correction of the man's speech which would get him punched in the face. Fortunately, ducking a blow from a highly intoxicated sailor was not exactly a difficult endeavor. The man was thrown off-balance by his own punch and nearly landed face first in what remained of Killian's dinner. Killian rapidly pulled the plate out the way (he happened to be enjoying that soup) balancing it in one hand as William hit the table. Killian kept his face entirely calm as he returned the meal to the table. _The man pulled himself up and glared_ before finally letting out a huff._

_"You're nothing Killian. And no blue uniform will ever change that." _

_With that William stalked back to the bar and Killian returned to finishing his meal. By the time Killian had finished eating William had disappeared, probably with one of the ladies he had being eying salaciously all evening. Killian made haste back to the academy. He may be afforded the luxury of eating away from the younger boys but his freedom was still limited by a strict schedule. Besides he was currently in the middle of a study of seabirds which he hoped to finish memorizing by the end of the week. It occurred to him while reading one day that should he ever be thrown off course by a storm it would be helpful to know what seabirds were native to which islands. His train of thought was interrupted by a cry that echoed through the streets before being cut off abruptly. Killian spun, immediately altering his trajectory towards the origin of the sound. Before long he came across a somewhat vulgar scene... One of the sailors apparently couldn't be bothered to acquire a private room to entertain his lady for the evening. Just as he was about to turn away the lady let out another whimper and a whispered, "Please don't."_

_Killian immediately drew his cutlass and advanced. Slipping his blade beneath the man's chin, he drew him away from the woman. She hurriedly attempted to cover her current state of partial undress. Hardly even a woman, Killian realized now that he could see her face, not very much more than a girl. Killian's jaw clenched as William glared back up at him. "Give me a break Killian, not everyone in this bloody town is a stuffy moralist like you. She likes it rough don't you darling, I know you want to play."_

_The woman shrank away and Killian turned to her. "Shall I leave, milady?"_

_The girl shook her head vigorously and Killian nodded turning back to William who despite Killian's cutlass at his throat kept one of her arms pinned to the wall._

_"Release her."_

_William laughed, "Killian, come on? Even you must know how this works. Of course she'd say that now, with another man present. They like to maintain their facades-"_

_His words were cut off when Killian's blade pressed tighter and blood dripped slowly from William's throat. __"Release her immediately, or I remove the offending arm for you."_

_William released his grip and the girl pulled away._

_"Milady," Killian called before she had a chance to bolt. "If he ever bothers you again, contact Liam Jones on the Jewel of the Realm. Understand?" she nodded before bolting away, disappearing around the corner in moments._

_"Damn it Killian," William grumbled, "I'm only on shore leave the one night. You wouldn't understand-"_

_"I understand perfectly. If I ever see a scene like this again, I'll take the arm first before the Royal MP's even have the chance to deal with you."_

_"And you'll tell them what? She'll not come back to tell her story. Who do you think they'll believe. A gentleman officer sailing in defense of the King or a nobody, stuck in school because no one will have an officer with bad blood."_

_Killian smiled slightly, before leaning in to whisper..."It's whom, you utterly useless bilge rat. And that's why I'll take the arm first..." Killian released William who stood frozen for a moment staring at him. _

_"You're cracked," he finally said, then he laughed uneasily and retreated from the alley. Killian was late in returning from dinner that night and though he faced severe consequences for the infraction, he'd never been so happy to bear the sanctions for tardiness._

"I suppose I always had a bit of a ... tendency towards taking justice into my own hands... so to speak." Killian told Emma as the scene faded away.

"What happened to the girl?" Emma asked tone still somewhat shocked.

"I don't know, Never caught William at it again, though to be realistic it's possible he was just avoiding me. But the girl, she never contacted my brother. That moment convinced me that no sailer on my crew would drink aboard any ship of mine." He smiled wryly.

"Really?" Emma asked with a small smile, "You had a dry naval vessel?"

"Aye, Swan. For sailors who drink rum get drunk, and drunkenness leads to bad form." He said the line like someone reciting a phrase from a book and he gave a little half shrug when he was done, holding out his flask and offering her a drink to celebrate the irony.

"How much longer were you there?" Emma asked curiously.

"Some years still. The last voyage Liam took while I was in the academy was one of the longest. He was gone for nearly a year. It was hell waiting for him to return. As it didn't seem likely that I would be going on any adventures of my own in the near future, I lived off his tales of adventures and heroics. I determined it must have been quite the adventure to have kept Liam away for so long and I was dying to hear about it."

Emma turned back to the mirror which was swirling again. Killian still looked young, but probably years older than the previous memory.

_When Liam finally arrived Killian noticed that he could barely contain his grin._

_"What has you so excited today, brother," Killian asked._

_"My Captain means to retire," Liam told him, "he means to yield his command to me."_

_Killian grinned too, "Are you telling me that you are going to be the Captain of the Jewel of the Realm, Liam?"_

_"So it seems. How goes your schooling, Killian?"_

_Killian's smile faltered briefly before he restored a tight smile to his features._

_"Well, I suppose. I've long surpassed my teachers abilities..."_

_Liam nodded with a small smile, "Have patience, brother."_

_True to his word, the very next day Liam came to him at the Academy. "Good news, Killian. How would you like to be the Lieutenant of The Jewel?"_

_A grin split across Killian's face but it faltered almost immediately._

_"Have you suddenly decided you have no desire to go to sea?"_

_"No no, of course not, it would be my great honor to accept-."_

_"Come now, Killian, I know you too well. What is bothering you?"_

_Killian sighed. "I've been here for years. I've learned all my training masters could offer me and more and yet my commission depends on your goodwill."_

_Liam laughed, "Is that what you think?"_

_"Of course," Killian said in confusion._

_"Well then I should tell you I had to practically dual two other captains to get you. You've done well brother, and I would take no other."_

_Killian smiled again and hugged his bother tightly. "Thank you, brother."_

_Liam smiled but quickly pushed Killian away a forced seriousness on his face. "That's Captain to you Lieutenant, I'll expect you to keep things ship-shape for me!"_

_"They'll be no tidier ship and crew in all the realms." Killian said proudly and Liam nodded._

_"Of that I've no doubt."_

The swirling of the mirror faded again, this time going dark as Killian removed his hand from Emma's, a look of melancholy on his face.

"Aw, Killian don't I get to see the grand adventure of the Jones brothers?"

"No, Swan, I'd rather you not."

Emma's teasing smile faltered, "So soon? ...but you only just..."

"Aye."

She fell quiet unsure about what to say to clear the clouds from his eyes.

"Killian?"

"Aye, Swan?"

"Would you teach me how to waltz again. It's been a while, I might be forgetting."

Killian smiled and pulled her close, "As you wish."

* * *

**AN: **Let me know if you think I got their characters right and if not how you think they could improve! ** I don't think I'm as good at writing young Killian or Killian/Liam interactions so I'd appreciate the feedback. Thanks **Nouqueret for the prompt. I appreciate the chance to stretch a bit! ********


	22. The Making of a Gentleman pt 2

**Recap:**

She fell quiet, unsure about what to say to clear the clouds from his eyes.

"Killian?"

"Aye, Swan?"

"Would you teach me how to waltz again. It's been a while, I might be forgetting."

Killian smiled and pulled her close, "As you wish."

Emma smiled and after a while asked, "Did you ever know a man named Roberts?"

"Probably, Hell if I remember."

"I think you would have remembered this one. He was a pirate captain too, you'd like him."

"Exactly how many pirate captains have you known, Swan?" Killian asked a look halfway between curiosity and jealousy in his eyes.

"Wouldn't you like to know." She retorted teasingly but when Emma glanced up at Killian his eyes were distant. For once, not seeing right through her. She kissed his cheek to get his attention again and he glanced down with a small smile.

"I'm sorry, Swan, but I've relived that moment too many times already...You don't really want to see it anyway."

"I do, but it's ok, you don't have to show me if you don't want to."

"Why?"

"Because I don't care what happened in the past-"

"No, I mean...why would you want to see that?"

"I just... I want to know what happened to that boy I saw." They weren't dancing anymore, the music had changed to something in 4 and when the Waltz ended they had stilled.

He sighed, "You know what happened to him. The King sent us in search of a medicinal herb, something that could cure any wound no matter how egregious. The Jones family name was to be restored to honor because we would end the suffering of all those injured by war, accident or injustice."

"And you couldn't find it?"

"It didn't exist. The king sent us in search of DreamShade."

Her eyes widened in understanding and Killian continued. "Pan even warned us of it's true nature, and I tried to convince my brother that perhaps the demon was right. Stubbornness runs in the family, it seems. Liam cut himself on the plant to prove that our King was an honorable man. I have never so wished to be made a fool. Pan even told me about the water. I saved my brother, or so I thought."

"But he didn't tell you the price," Emma finished, "that's how you knew the water was working for David..."

"Aye, I had been betrayed. I thought it was good form to serve the King, and in a moment I realized the man I served was without honor. From that moment forward the Jewel of the Realm became the Jolly Roger. Liam would have filed a complaint with the admiralty, probably been stripped of his commission. I would have followed him into civilian life, but as soon as he was taken from me I knew I could never live under the King's yoke again. I told the crew of the King's betrayal and every one of them joined me under the crimson flag. We made our own laws. We stole and pillaged but at least we made no pretense about our nature."

"So that created the man I met in the past... you don't do middle ground do you?"

"Not well. But no, that man wasn't born until after Milah."

"What was she like?"

Killian closed his eyes briefly and Emma pulled away, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't-"

"It's alright, love but... why, why so curious today?"

"I thought I knew you, Killian. But I was genuinely surprised that you gave up your ship to bring me home. You knew me but...I don't think I really knew you.

"And you think a trip through the most painful moments of my life will tell you who I am." His voice was hard and Emma almost flinched away. Killian's posture relaxed and he sighed, "I want you to smile, love, this isn't going to make you smile."

"I know, but-"

"I don't think you do."

Emma fidgeted with a string around her wrist for a moment.

Killian glanced at her inquiringly and his eyes dropped to the shoelace she was touching, "You do, don't you."

"When I first came to StoryBrooke I met a man named Graham. Neither of us knew it at the time but he was the Queen's huntsman. She held his heart. Literally, unfortunately. He started to remember who he was when I came to Storybrooke. Finally... I kissed him and it all came back to him. I thought he was going mad at the time..."

"True loves kiss?" Killian asked, tone carefully guarded.

Emma sighed, "I don't know... but I know I could have loved him, given the chance. He died in my arms, and I knew...again...that I was meant to be alone. That's why I kept this," she said, twisting the shoelace again. "A reminder, like the Swan Neal gave me. That alone is safer."

"She crushed his heart?" Killian asked.

"I didn't realize it at the time. They said it was a heart attack... but yes. She crushed his heart."

"You still wear them..." Killian started tentatively, "do you still believe you're better off alone?"

"I wear them as a different kind of reminder now. Neal taught me how to know when you are home, Graham gave me the chance to put down roots here in Storybrooke. I owe them... a lot."

Killian clasped her hand and he glanced toward the mirror, his breath catching slightly when Milah's face appeared there, bright and happy and so alive. He turned away, glancing at Emma instead who was watching the woman carefully. Milah had a wild look in her eyes, a desperation, a voracious appetite to see more of everything that Emma could practically feel through time and space. She was staring out over the water captivated by the horizon.

_Killian came up behind her and placed his hands on her waist, pulling her backwards to whisper in her ear "It won't come any faster no matter how intently you gaze at it." _

_Milah laughed, "Not for lack of trying. Where are we going, how long will it take us to get there?"_

_"The next port isn't for nearly two weeks. If you're going to change your mind, now would be the time."_

_A spark glinted in her eyes and she shook her head. "I can't go back."_

_"He'll tell your son you're dead, you know that right? He'll grieve for you."_

_Her entire posture shifted, sank in on itself for a moment before the spark reemerged. "He's a liar and a coward. Why would you even say something like that, isn't this hard enough?"_

_"Sorry, love, I just want to make sure you know what you're getting into. Once we leave this port, it will be months, perhaps years or more before we return."_

_"_I'm dying there Killian, I can't breathe. Here I can finally breathe! Maybe one day, when he's old enough-"__

_She spun around, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and taking one final look at the port disappearing behind them. "Take me away pirate, I don't want to see land anywhere around me." She spun in his grip and Killian laughed._

Killian let his mind wander back to that time, and the mirror shifted with his thoughts to years later, sparring with Milah on the deck of the Roger. It reminded him of another duel on the beach (God, did he have a type or what...) the scene flickered back and forth between the two before he remembered that she had asked about Milah and the Jolly Roger came into focus.

_She had fire, if not the best training, and Killian couldn't help but let her win from time to time because it brought this lovely competitive smirk to her eyes. Still, he was the captain, and letting his woman defeat him too frequently would certainly be bad for morale... He casually flicked his cutlass sending hers skittering across the deck. Now unarmed, he backed her towards the mast, pressing close to her and whispering "Yield?" in her ear._

_"Never," she spat back, and then she kissed him, pushing him back a step or two as she did so. His blade dropped from his grip and she caught it. Raising it to his throat she smiled; "You yield!"_

The scene flickered again to the top of a beanstalk when another woman had used his obvious fascination with her against him and he heard himself screaming Emma's name before he pulled his focus back to Milah.

He thought of her fire, laughter and smiles. He thought of her tears and shaking in his arms as she wept for her son, growing up without his mother. Her eagerness to move on, always running, always onward to the next great adventure. As always, he couldn't think of Milah for long before the crocodile entered the picture and he stiffened dropping his head to Emma's shoulder, unable to watch. Emma too stiffened when she realized what was happening, her grip tightening on his hand, but she couldn't look away.

Though Killian didn't watch he could hear his own anguished cries and the crocodiles taunts, and he could feel Emma's hands shaking in his as the picture faded away. She stared at the mirror in shock, the tragic scene was gone, leaving only a dumbstruck reflection of herself while Killian pointedly avoided looking at the mirror, apparently fascinated by something on Emma's shoulder. Finally he muttered, "Sorry, love, didn't mean to show you all of that..."

Emma turned and hugged him close. She had known, of course, but not like that...

They stood for a while, frozen but unable to pull away from the comfort of the other's arms. Finally Emma sighed and pulled away just a breath.

"Can you show me something else, something that made you happy."

He spun her around towards the mirror, one hand resting on her shoulder. He didn't take her hand, simply letting the mirror reflect them as they were now, together in the glass.

"Cute, Killian, but I'm not that easily dissuaded! I want to see the Lieutenant again, the one who didn't drink and smiled so easily."

"Alright love, but only if you're next."

She nodded in agreement and he took her hand. "You'll love this," he commented and the mirror swirled again.

_"The Captain is in transit with new orders from the King himself. Before his arrival, this ship will be swabbed from stem to stern, and..." Killian's eye caught sight of a flask in a deckhands pocket. He caught the scent of Rum coming from the man and snatched the flask. "__Rum, sailor? Does anyone know what happens to sailors who drink rum? They get drunk, and drunkenness leads to bad form. __If there's one thing that won't be tolerated aboard this ship, it's bad form."_

_"My ship has never been in finer hands." Liam called, appearing on deck and Killian smiled brightly._

_"We stand ready to receive the King's orders."_

_"When the King summoned me, I knew there was only one man I could trust to navigate this difficult journey. My little brother."_

_"Perhaps you mean younger brother." Liam ignored the comment and handed him a satchel. _

_"A gift, to commemorate our latest voyage together." Pulling it out Killian revealed a beautiful golden sextant. He already had a sextant of course, but it shouldn't have surprised him that Liam felt the need to commemorate the occasion. _

_"A sextant, You always were the sentimental type." Killian commented.  
_

_"Look closer, brother." Killian did so and to his surprise the device looked nothing like the one in his own pack.  
_

_"__I've never seen markings like this. __To what strange land are we headed?" _

_"I'm under orders not to say until we arrive. __But, brother, this is the mission of our dreams. __A mission that will bring feasts to the kingdom and glory to the Jones brothers."_

_"A hero's journey. That is indeed good form, brother." Killian turned the sextant over in his hands trying to make sense of the strange markings. "__I've never seen these constellations before."_

_"No one has. We're going to a new land, brother."_

_"Enemy sighted off the port quarter!" a lookout called in alarm. _

_Killian pulled out his spyglass and trained it on the oncoming vessels. "__A frigate and two corvettes gaining fast! Master gunner, roll out the port cannons! Stand by to bring her about!" _

_"Belay that order!" Liam interrupted and Killian's brow furrowed._

_"We'll never outrun them."_

_"Have faith, Lieutenant. Deploy the Pegasus!" _

_"What is that?" _

_"That is a sail woven from the last remaining feathers of the great creature Pegasus."  
_

_"Legend has it that horse could fly."  
_

_"Indeed, So can we. Hang on!"_

_The Pegasus sail rippled in the breeze and caught the wind. Killian gazed in amazement, hardly remembering to grab onto the rigging before the ship lifted free of the ocean's grip. As soon as the ship __stabilized Killian darted for the side of the ship watching the ocean fall away. _

_ "Set a course, Lieutenant, Second star to the right, straight on till morning."_

_Killian pulled __out the sextant and set the course before allowing himself to gaze in wonder over the side of the ship again. They sailed on the clouds and it was the most astonishing sight he'd ever seen. _

_"How do you like the view, brother?" Liam asked Killian slapping him on the back._

_"This is unbelievable...I've never seen, never even read..." Killian started, dragging his eyes from the clouds to look to his captain. "It's like something from a dream..."_

_"And now you know why I needed the best navigator in the Realm! Do you think your classmates could handle this task?"_

_William's face flashed through Killian's mind and he suppressed a smile. _

"Best day of my life, or so I thought at the time," Killian muttered as the image faded away.

"Second star to the...Oh ..."

"Aye, but you asked for a happy memory from that time... oddly enough that is the best qualified. What about you Swan, since you're in a sharing mood today?"

"Oh I don't know... I don't think I can compete with flying pirate ships."

"Wasn't a pirate ship yet. No excuses Swan, lead on."

She bit her lip contemplatively before sighing and taking his hand.

_Granny's was full of people but Emma only saw three of them, four now, __actually. Running to her parents she hugged them both._

_"You weren't answering your cell, __We were worried."_

_"I'm fine. __I'm home." Emma said not releasing them from her hug_

_"Do you mean that you're not leaving?" Snow asked, hope gleaming forth from her face._

_"No, __I'm not going anywhere." Emma replied. _

_"We're staying in Storybrooke?" Henry asked excitedly._

_"Yeah, kid. __This is where we belong. __This is where our family is." She faced her parents again and saw Snow was crying, it took her a moment to realize that she was crying too... but it didn't matter. Emma just was so glad to be home...__"__Mom Dad, I missed you."_

The picture faded and Emma shrugged. "I know it's no flying ship ... but it's when I found home."

Emma glanced up, red coloring her cheeks but he wasn't laughing at her. He was still watching the mirror as though trying to bring back the picture by sheer force of will.

"I'm going to make certain that smile is far less rare, Swan, I promise."

"We could both use a few more reason's to smile."

"Speaking of which," Killian commented, as they both heard footsteps running up the stairs and then the door slammed open.

"I found it!" Henry cried.

"Found what," Emma asked, watching Henry bounce up and down in front of her holding up a newspaper.

"Our new apartment."

"Oh, I didn't know we were looking for one."

"At least a few members of this family should get some sleep." Henry replied looking at Emma as though she were missing the most obvious thing in the world. "Besides this place is perfect! There's a bedroom for each of us and an office that you can turn into a guest room if you want, and it's right next to the water."

"Next to the water, you say?" Killian perked up considerably, eyebrows raised.

"She's always loved a view of the water," Henry commented turning his 'do-i-have-to-explain-everything-to-you' gaze to Killian.

"Is that so, love."

Emma inexplicably reddened and grabbed the paper from Henry. This actually does look really nice, Henry, nice job. Henry grabbed the paper from her and handed it to Killian pointing to something farther down on the page.

"Would you look at that, Lad's found a one-bedroom just down the hall. So you'll be staying there Henry?" Killian asked a mischievous look in his eyes until Emma punched his arm.

"Don't push it, Pirate." Henry commented and Killian would have sworn that he was actually trying to do a perfect imitation of Charming.

* * *

**AN: Magic mirrors are fun. This is kind of a fun exercise because in OUAT there is a ton of stuff that happens in small groups and is completely unknown to other characters in the show. Backstories in particular. **

**Hope no one is too mad at me for my slightly misleading preview that I send out to my reviewers :P Did I surprise you? **


	23. On the Town

**Inspired to go back into the bromance direction by real husbands of storybrooke (happilycaptainswan on tumbler) This is post finale but because I intend this to be light and fluffy in the style of the first chapter, I'm going to be totally ignoring Marian's existence (Sorry just...so ... can't...) Also really...I'm CS obsessed, I swear it started out focused on guys night but... (****gah, It's possible I need help :P)**

* * *

"She's going to kill me, I really should go." Charming said as Robin set another beer in front of him.

"I distinctly remember hearing Snow say have a good time," Robin commented, "Unless you're concerned you can't hold your alcohol?"

"Also, you two share a heart, " Killian pointed out, "It would be unwise of her to murder you."

Emma laughed, "True, that was clever of you Dad."

"Besides," Robin cut in, "How bad can the wrath of Snow White be? She's so... cute."

Charming turned to Robin, " Don't talk about my wife like...actually she is, objectively. Never mind."

"Seriously though, You want to talk about wrath, Regina had literally an entire realm at her feet. Still kind of coming to terms with that ... but I'm going to go with the don't piss her off for a while plan."

"Trust me," Charming muttered, "She packs quite the punch."

"Regina?" Robin asked.

"No, Snow!"

"At least she didn't leave you tied up to a tree, and in a giant's den... and in a storage crate...am I missing any?" Killian asked grinning and Emma jabbed him with her elbow.

"Hospital," Emma muttered.

Killian hummed slightly, "of course, loved that one."

"You deserved it."

"Most certainly," Killian agreed refilling Emma's glass and his own. "Still do actually," he muttered in her ear.

Emma raised her eyebrows, "up for a little trip to the Storybrooke jail?"

"You're a siren," Killian muttered, "I know full well you'd leave me there for the night ... and yet I'd still say yes."

Emma laughed and glanced over to Robin and Charming who seemed engaged in a very serious conversation.

"What are you two scheming?" Emma asked suspiciously.

"Charming thinks he has better aim then me," Robin said, sounding disgruntled.

"I'll settle this," Killian said knowingly, "I'd best you both, obviously."

"There's only one way to settle this." Robin said.

"Indeed." Charming responded... "but the pirate only has one hand."

Killian opened his mouth to retort, but Emma jumped up, "Darts, drinks on the losers!"

"You hardly need to win at darts to get free drinks from me, Swan." Killian whispered but she ignored him moving to the darts board.

"Oldest to youngest?" she suggested.

"That get's a bit... complicated," Charming commented and after some discussion they determined that total number of years lived rather than physical age would be counted and so Hook went first.

Standing before the dart board Killian was about to loose the first dart when Emma leaned in and whispered something in his ear. The dart went flying off the board and Killian turned to Emma with eyebrows raised, "Bad form, Swan."

She smiled and nodded, handing him the next dart. That one sailed true but then Emma moved to stand behind him as she watched. He eyed her cautiously determined not to let her throw him off again. Then, a moment before he released the last dart he felt her hand slip up his forearm, lightly lingering above where his brace held the hook firmly in place. The third dart flew off the board too.

"Bad form indeed," Killian muttered in a tone that was anything but scolding. Charming went next and Killian took the opportunity to slip his hand around Emma's waist as they watched, pulling her close and smiling when she leaned back against him contentedly. After Robin's turn Emma stepped forward. She glanced around before her first throw to be sure Killian wasn't going to repay the favor in kind, but he kept his distance. Emma threw each dart in rapid succession landing three bulls eyes. She and Robin had to have a tiebreaker, but with all of the alcohol in Robin's system by now, Emma eventually emerged victorious.

Killian poured her a celebratory drink and she raised her eyebrows. "Are you trying to get me drunk, Killian?"

"It's only fair," he replied evenly and Emma paused seeming, to consider the idea.

"Indeed, but unfortunately one of us has to be able to man the sheriff's station tomorrow. She nodded towards Robin and Charming, laughing hysterically in a corner, "I don't think it's going to be him."

"I'll walk you home, love?"

"And leave those two on their own? I think that would be a bad idea. Who knows what kind of mischief they could get into."

"I think they'll be ok, love, and a beautiful lass should never be left to her own devices at this hour."

"Don't you remember what I said about dashing rescues?"

"Aye, but it's a gentleman's duty to keep trying."

"All right, Killian, but only because I know you're really just afraid to walk back alone."

"Petrified, truly."

Killian informed Charming and Robin that he would be back soon and he followed Emma into the patio.

"I've always liked this patio," Emma commented. She spun to face Killian quickly grabbing his coat and kissing him passionately. When they finally pulled apart Killian laughed, "I don't think you'll ever cease to surprise me, love."

"I can only try. Remember what I told you earlier...Is it still bad form if-"

Killian cut her off with a kiss. She wasn't sure if he was pushing or she was pulling but they were gradually moving towards the fence on the side of the patio. They finally reached the fence and he pressed her up against it, his hand clenching around the green wood behind her.

_(She's going to be the death of me) _

Emma released her grip on his jacket wrapping her arms around his neck savoring the taste.

_(Rum always tastes better from his lips.)_

"Still bad form," he whispered in her ear, kissing it as she laughed. Leaving one hand at the back of his neck she grabbed his collar and pulled him closer, eyebrows furrowing when his arm remained locked in place on the fence holding them ever so slightly apart.

She pressed forward and he pulled back maintaining contact but with just...enough ... distance between them to drive her mad.

"What are you doing Killian?" she asked softly, still clenching his jacket collar.

"I don't think you've had anywhere near enough to drink to ask questions like that," he teased. He leaned forward to kiss her again but she broke away.

"You're holding back, why?"

Killian's smirk fell for just a moment, a flash of vulnerability so rapid she wasn't sure she had really seen it at all. "Perhaps... Im afraid you wouldn't be able to handle it."

"Don't lie to me Killian," Emma said locking her arms around his neck again. Finally the wall came down and the smirk fell away.

"Perhaps I'm afraid I couldn't."

"What do you-"

"I'm not him anymore, Swan. God, I want to be him...but I can't be him anymore."

"Him? What the hell, Killian have you had more to drink that I thought... you're not making any sense."

"Hook. I can't be Hook anymore, not with you."

Emma relaxed instantly, "oh, thank God."

Now it was Killian's turn to look confused.

"I thought ... maybe you didn't want me anymore, now that...well... now that I want you."

Killian's eyes widened and he pressed his forehead to hers, stroking her cheek then lacing his fingers through her hair. "I love you, Swan, and I'll always want you. But this is different... it has to be different."

She sighed in relief, kissing him gently and then pulling away and dropping her head to his shoulder; just holding him, and letting herself be held.

"This is different," she agreed. "Think we can handle different?"

She felt his head turn towards her and place a kiss on her neck which made her shiver, "I think we can handle anything, love."

She opened her eyes glancing over his shoulder. "Anything?" she asked and he pulled slightly away hearing the laugh fighting to break into her voice.

"PIRATE!" Charming cried from the door of Granny's.

Killian closed his eyes briefly before sighing, "anything."

"Really Pirate?" Charming cried, "Couldn't you at least go where I can't see you out the bloody window."

Killian laughed and Charming glared, "What's so funny?"

"Nothing, mate, just... not where I saw that going."

"Yeah well...I can't remember what I did with my gun."

"I took it away 3 hours ago," Emma said helpfully.

"Ah yes, that, Emma took away my gun."

"Clever lass."

Emma laughed, kissing Killian lightly on the lips before pulling away. She then hugged David and kissed him on the cheek, "Good night dad, Please don't kill Killian, I happen to like him now."

She could hardly contain the smile on her face as she left the courtyard, hearing David and Killian bantering behind her as she walked down the street.

"I should have shot you years ago."

"Your funeral, mate, I did save your life. Your love life too, now that I think about it."

"Only because you didn't know better than to avoid the swirling portal of doom."

"Yeah, mate, we saw a swirling portal and said; 'this looks like a good time. It's been a while since we had a good portal vacation'..."

* * *

"Rise and Shine you scurvy sea dog!" a voice called, followed by a loud pounding on the door.

Killian sat up rapidly, throwing on a tunic while trying to process what he had just heard. "Swan?"

"Aye, Captain."

"What the hell?" he muttered opening the door to see a grinning Emma Swan.

"Good Morning, pirate!" She said, very loudly.

"Unless you kept drinking long after you returned home, I have no explanation for what is happening right now."

Emma's face fell slightly. "You're not hungover?"

"You may not have noticed, Swan, but it turns out 300 years of using alcohol as a painkiller will do wonders for your tolerance. So, to what do I owe the pleasure of waking to your beautiful countenance. Or do you maintain a concerning desire to cause me pain as frequently as possible?"

Emma sighed, "I thought you might be as funny as David this morning."

"Can't hold his liquor, can he?" Killian asked a slight smirk on his face.

"It's hilarious. Also, I'm pretty sure both you and Robin have been exiled from the Enchanted Forest, just so you know...for, and this is a direct quote 'conspiracy to murder the king.' "

Killian laughed and opened the door further, inviting Emma to follow as he turned back into the room. "Give me a second, love, and I'll put together a brew that will restore Charming to existence."

"How much more did he drink last night anyway?" Emma asked as Killian disappeared around a corner for a moment.

"Come now lass, we defeated the Wicked Witch, his lad is safe and his daughter is safe, he had much to celebrate."

"That doesn't answer the question."

"I lost track about the point he stopped threatening my life and started hugging me at regular intervals... it was an odd night."

Emma laughed, "He's Prince Charming, of course he's a happy drunk. You know who's not happy this morning."

"The Prince, it seems?"

"That's not who I would worry about."

"Why's that, love?"

"Mary Margaret is pissed."

"I have the strangest suspicion that the Lady Snow White is more terrifying than her Prince when angry...would my suspicion be correct?"

Emma nodded with a wicked smile, "I'd avoid her for a while, if I were you," and a look of concern passed over Killian's face.

"That's hardly fair, love, It's not like I forced the concoctions down his throat."

"Yes, but they share a heart now...she can't kill him!"

"Well, I best go make peace," he said lifting a glass in a mock toast. Before she could turn to leave though he bent to kiss her lightly, brushing her hair back as he did so. "In case I don't make it... Mmm, You do look lovely in the morning light," he murmured in her ear.

"You can't see the morning light," she protested, lips brushing his in a small smirk. "We're inside...also it's raining."

"I've a very detailed imagination, my love."

"That's cheating," she mumbled her head falling back as his lips dropped to that spot on her neck that made her melt.

"And what exactly were you expecting me to do when you walked through that door, Swan." He was backing her towards the wall again, dropping Charmings hangover cure onto the table as he moved.

"Are you suggesting that I'm trying to seduce you?" Emma asked in a decidedly too seductive voice.

"I'm suggesting-" her phone rang, abruptly interrupting a sentence that she really (really) wanted to know the end of. She pushed Killian away to answer it, but he returned a moment later doing his best to distract her from the call.

"Hey... I know I'm on my way now...No, actually I um...ran into Killian, he says he has something that will help...all right see you soon." She hung up the phone and glared at Killian. "Killian, what happened to-" his lips drifted to her neck again and she let out a moan of pleasure which made Killian's eyes go dark.

His lips hovered over her ear for a moment before he finally whispered, "you're a very...persuasive presence."

"We have to go..."

"Aye," Killian agreed, his hook pressing her ever closer to him. For the briefest moment he pulled away and closed his eyes. "You have mere moments before I decide to hell with your father's hangover... I suggest you make use of them."

They turned to leave the apartment and Killian glanced over at her as they walked down the hall. Finally she blurted out, "I need a deputy."

"You really do take pleasure in being unpredictable, don't you lass? So your first thought to filling that vacancy was to ask a pirate? I'm not sure I'd make much of a lawman, Swan."

"Yeah well, Charming's out for the count today, and probably frequently with a newborn in the house... and I'm certainly not going to ask Rumpelstiltskin to be my back up. So...what do you say."

"I don't know Swan, you're a dangerous lass, I might find myself in a ... sticky situation or two. Perhaps I'd like to settle down, catch up on this world's literature and the like."

"So you're in, then?"

"Of course."

Emma knocked on the door and Mary Margaret opened it, glaring at Hook when she saw him. "Apologies, milady," Hook said mildly and Emma was almost impressed, until he opened his mouth again, "I'd no idea he held his liquor so poorly."

"Damn you Pirate!" A voice cried out from behind her and Neal began to cry. Snow spun towards Charming, "Out!"

"Wha-"

"Oh please, Charming, like you really want to stay in here with a crying newborn anyway."

Charming reconsidered and bolted from the apartment, Emma and Killian right behind him.

"You're a right mess, Charming, here drink this, it'll help."

"I'm not taking anything you give me."

"Suit yourself," Killian said and Emma rolled her eyes taking the drink from Killian and shoving it into her father's hands.

"There, it's from me. Drink. Now."

They made their way back to Killian's apartment and Charming collapsed on the couch, while Killian made his way to the windows to close the blinds the rest of the way.

"Damn pirate," Charming muttered, "I thought this was supposed to help."

"On second thought" Killian muttered, throwing the blinds wide open and making Charming wince.

Killian chuckled slightly and Emma glared at him.

"All right, sorry, mate." Killian said, closing the blinds again. "It will help. Give it a quarter of an hour and you'll be sorted."

"We should get going," Emma commented and Charming glanced up.

"We?"

"Aye, mate, apparently Storybrooke needs a new lawman and your daughter thought I'd be fit to the task."

"YOU'RE REPLACING ME WITH A PIRATE!" Charming cried then fell back, a hand on his head.

"That or a crocodile, mate. You admitted yourself, I make good canon fodder. Here..." He handed Charming an ice pack and sat down again. "Give it a minute, mate, and you'll be back to your lovely charming self."

"I could still help-" Charming said, turning to Emma.

Emma shook her head. "You missed this the first time around," she commented, looking down, "You shouldn't have to again."

Charming's gaze softened, "It doesn't work like that, Emma, nothing will ever make up for what we lost with you."

"I know," Emma said brightly, clearly trying to avoid this conversation, "just ... trust me. I .. we can handle this. I gotta go...I'll come get you in a minute, Killian."

"All right, Emma, I know you can handle it," Charming said as she rushed out the door. He turned to Killian, "If-"

"I think we've made this next bit abundantly clear, mate." Killian interrupted. "I'm well aware of the 'I let her get hurt, my life is forfeit' nature of this arrangement. How's your head?"

"Awf-... actually... better. What was that stuff."

"Really, it's better if you don't know." Killian said with a shrug.

Charming shuddered slightly and Killian laughed.

"I do remember what you said, Killian."

"Aye?"

"Is it still true?"

"It's always been true. From the first moment I saw her I knew there was something special about that lass. I was lost from the moment I offered my ship to get Henry back, there was no going back after that."

Charming nodded, rubbing his forehead again. "God, where did you learn to drink like that? You were matching me drink for drink and you look fine."

"Why thank you, Charming, but you are a married man and I'm in love with your daughter. It would never work."

"I will still kill you."

Killian smiled halfheartedly, "I'd have drunk myself into my grave centuries ago if not for Neverland."

"You should probably be a little more careful now that Neverland is not keeping your liver young."

"Aye, but it seems my body still remembers how to handle my favorite poison."

"I thought I lost Snow once..." David muttered half to himself, "more than once actually. I don't know what I would do if...Did it help?"

"The rum? Maybe for an hour or two. Kept the dreams away when I finally passed out. It's not a method of survival I would suggest, but I had nothing else to live for... You'll never be that desperate. You have your family, your people, people that look up to you."

"You have that now too," Charming said suddenly and Killian looked up... but Charming didn't look like he was joking. Killian laughed slightly and Charming leaned forward.

"I mean it pirate, No more drinking if you're Emma's back up. Not just for her... You have roots in this town now."

"Thanks mate." Killian said and Charming glanced down rapidly.

"I must still be drunk, get the hell out of here."

"Are you kicking me out of my own room?"

"Yes I am. And I can do that. Being a royal has it's perks."

"Oh if you were just a Royal I'd never listen to you."

"Fine, now get out...because being Emma's father has it's perks!"

"Aye aye, your Majesty."

Killian closed the door behind him and found Emma was just waiting outside. "Running away again, love?"

"Just a bit, didn't really want to have that conversation again."

"They regret missing it, just like you'll always wish you had seen Henry grow up. At least you didn't miss the whole thing, and he had a family that loved him... Complex as Regina may be, she's always loved your lad."

Emma nodded with a small smile glancing down at her phone when it buzzed.

"Uh-Oh. You ready for your first task as deputy."

"What now Swan, witch...demon what manner of beast do we champion against this day?"

She nodded solemnly. "It's a dangerous situation, Killian, you can back out if you wish."

Killian just raised his eyebrows and Emma laughed. "It looks like Whale took the last serving of bacon at Granny's. Grumpy's on something of a rampage."

"Oh God," Killian moaned, "are there any survivors?"

"We better hurry."

* * *

**AN : Yeah I know, If you want super heated make out scenes this is not the place for you. I find given his rather...*cough* undiscriminating history with... you know most women on the planet ... a desire to wait and do it right would be so much more fitting for their love story. Sorry :P**

**also I think getting between grumpy and bacon would be much scarier than elsa...!**


	24. Favorite Things

**Shameless fluff...absolutely shameless! **

* * *

**Favorite Things**

His favorite kisses are slow and soft. They are the gentleness of their kiss outside of Granny's or a quick peck on the cheek when she meets him for breakfast. He loves kisses that are chaste and public. Not that he particularly cares what the town thinks of their relationship... still, he had always feared that he could never expect more from Emma than a passionate moment out of sight. Soft kisses have never really been in his repertoire, hadn't been for a very long time. The women he met in taverns, they were all so similar. They wanted passion. They wanted to escape from their boredom as he wanted to escape from a heavy soul. If he cared to consider it (which he generally didn't) Milah was like that too. She was passion, fire and freedom and there was always a small voice in the back of his mind that wondered... Would she have left with any other Captain that day, anyone that offered her the freedom she so craved? Soft kisses were different. Deliciously different. They weren't about escape, weren't about drowning out the endless guilt from his mind. They were about Emma, memorizing everything about her. The way he can feel her smiling when he kisses her. The way her fingers linger at the back of his neck and the gentle trembling of her lips when he forgets for a while that his favorite kisses are soft.

Her favorite kisses are fire. Stolen moments outside of Granny's or her apartment. Passion. Heat. Kisses that tell her just how long he'd been waiting for this, for her. Kisses that leave her breathless with lips trembling. They were a promise. _One day,_ they said, _not today... but one day_. She loves how he closes his eyes as he pulls away; jaw tense as though this were the single hardest thing he'd done in all his 300 years. She likes how he pauses, eyes closed, forehead just barely touching hers before telling her 'this is different, love, it has to be different.' She loves that it's different...and that it's still hard for him to pull away. She loves the quiet moments too. The comfortable way he presses his lips to her forehead and brushes his fingers through her hair when he kisses her softly, slowly like he has all eternity to do precisely that.

He loves the way she moves; confidant and proud and every bit the savior of Storybrooke. Loves her hair, the way it seems to glitter in the sun and begs him to run his hands through it. He loves watching her talk to Henry, how she calls him kid and contacts him on a walkie talkie to cheer him up. He loves that she allows him to spend time with the boy, and when she tells him not to turn him into a pirate (even though he knows she is teaching her lad to pick locks on weekends.)

She loves the way he stands, leaning against a wall, waiting for her to glance over. The way he can answer just about any question by simply raising his eyebrows and the way he bows when he means to mock. She loves the echo of formality in his words that contain a trace of a naval officer from long ago. She loves that he uses words like rapscallion and dalliance. She loves the striking blue of his eyes and that they light up when she asks him to watch Henry. Henry comes home bouncing up and down in excitement, wanting to show her some new knot or wakes her up in the middle of the night, because Killian showed him a constellation that looks like a Swan and she _has _to see it now before the moon 'reaches its zenith.'

He never tires of hearing his name on her lips. His given name. The name of a man of honor. _Killian. _He'd grown accustomed to hearing it with disarming frequency when Henry lost his memories, but now she says it with a caress in her tone. She sighs it when he kisses her and it's nearly enough to drive him mad. She hadn't entirely given up his moniker, but it was usually said in jest now. Still, he'd never forget hearing his moniker screamed in terror when Zelena tried to kill him. He could hear its desperation even muddled by the cold water. She says his name from her nightmares at times, calls out for him in that terrified voice so loudly that he heard it in the next room and ran to her aid. He hated the fear in her voice but he'd be lying if he said he didn't hesitate to wake her up when he heard a whispered '_Killian, come back to me_' ...just for a moment to see if she would say it again. When he shook her awake, (whispering '_I'm here, love, I'm right here'_) she clung to him with a ferocity that she would probably not allow herself were she fully awake.

He only calls her Emma when he is being very serious, but she loves it when he calls her Swan. It's her last name, it should feel formal but it doesn't. The name is his, no one else has ever called her Swan. Somehow it's always sounded right coming from his lips. She hated the endearments at first. They were cheap and sounded like the crutch of a man who never really bothered learning names. But then his eyes began to soften and slowly they began to bother her less and less until now her heart does a little flip in her chest when he calls her love. She knows he still dreams of her...of Milah, and so it tears at her heart when she hears him talking in his sleep. It wasn't fair of her to be jealous, she knew that, but when she hears him mumbling '_please...please don't hurt her_' in his sleep her heart breaks for two different reasons. When he wakes he kisses her hard and mumbles in her ear over and over between kisses, '_Swan, thank God, My Swan._' That's when it finally occurs to her that his fears might just mirror her own.

His favorite touches are almost mundane. He loves how she touches his arm as she speaks to him. How she comes up behind him and puts her hand on his shoulder. He loves when she takes his hand under the table and draws little patterns on his palm with the tips of her fingers. He loves that even when they are not talking to each other, her eyes seek him out through the crowded room, that they are drawn together like magnets. He loves when she sends him her cocoa across the room because she's bored with whatever is happening around her. He loves whispering '_good night, my princess'_ in her ear and that she doesn't realize he's really saying I love you (yet.)

She loves how he puts his hand on her lower back as they enter or leave a room. _I'm right behind you,_ it says. _Always have been, always will be._ Likes that his eyes flick up to hers the moment she enters a room, and that little half smile that always follows. She loves that he is always nearby, and when she gets bored she can use her magic to steal his hook or send him her cocoa and he will smile like she's the most incredible creature he's ever seen. She loves that when she brings her cocoa back it always tastes of rum. She loves to take his hand under the table and write on his palm and that he doesn't realize she's tracing the words 'I love you' on his skin (yet.)

They love ocean views. Watching the sun begin to rise over the water, or catching the last colors of the day reflected on its surface. They love trekking through the woods because one of the dalmatians is lost again, and they love that people in town call him Killian now. Their love is both big and small. It is grand gestures, crossing realms and great sacrifices. It is also tiny moments like a clasped hand under the table because she knows that he'll never, ever be comfortable with seeing the crocodile smiling at his new wife. Or because he knows that as much as she loves her little brother, sometimes it just makes her think that this is what she never had. Their love is like coming home, it's realizing that home is more than the ship, and it's more than waiting for it to hurt when someone leaves.

She can't tell him yet. She tells him when she traces the words into his palm, slowly, so slowly so as not to risk him understanding the message. She tells him in the passion of her kisses and by taking his hand in front of her parents. Words were too dangerous. It's too soon, too hard, too risky because everyone leaves... eventually.

He can't tell her yet. He tells her a million times and a million ways. Every time he says 'as you wish' or calls her his Princess. Every kiss and shared drink. Every way he can think of except the words. Words were dangerous. Words made his Swan run.

She knows now that he won't leave. She saw it in his face at her apartment door in New York, as he looked down at her falling through a portal, as they watched her mother burn. Because he already knows what it's like without her. Centuries before her, and worse, that year knowing that she was out there and he had no way to get back to her.

He knows now that she won't leave. She'd nearly fallen apart in mere days kept from her home, from her family. She was done running, done searching for home. Her home was with her family now. Her parents, her son. But something about the way she whispered his name as their lips parted gave him hope.

And happy endings always start with hope.

* * *

**AN:**

**Thank you for my lovely reviewers, Hope you are liking the previews :) Particularly Scorp' Blues who inspired me to give that last line one more shot... I like this version better! **

**Ok admission: Introspectives are both the easiest and the hardest things for me to write. Easy because these two are amazing and it's just fun to spend 1500 words just reflecting on how amazing they are for each other. Hard because in order to be interesting you really have to do something special with an introspective to make it touch a nerve... it turns out most people already know that these two happen to be quite fond of each other :P So, do be honest and tell me what you think. I find I'm not as good at evaluating whether an introspective chapter is interesting to read because I'm too far gone in love with these characters :P**


	25. Beware the Frozen Heart

"It's not that simple, Emma."

"I swear I'm going to need another one of these." Emma sighed, downing the rest of her drink in a gulp.

"Emma, don't worry, we'll figure this out." Mary Margaret said soothingly but Emma just waved to get Ruby's attention.

"I'm going to need...many, many more of these." Emma said and Ruby glanced sideways at Snow.

"It's fine, Red, she's just a little frustrated-"

"A LITTLE frustrated?" Emma said, voice rising shrilly.

"And a little drunk." Mary Margaret continued with a sigh.

"Maybe I should get you a hot chocolate instead?" Ruby suggested and Emma rolled her eyes.

"Might as well, since apparently the cartoon queen is mid bloody redemption arc. Couldn't anyone come to storybrooke already...you know... .well-balanced."

Mary Margaret raised her eyebrows at hearing the word 'bloody' come from Emma but chose not to comment. "Elsa was trapped in a bottle for who knows how long... it's no wonder she's a little...put out."

"Put out? PUT OUT? Mary Margaret the whole town is frozen over!"

"We just need to talk to her, perhaps - "

"Talk to her? Why can't we just vanquish the bad guys anymore?"

"Emma-"

"Seriously, does everybody have to be on some redemption kick?"

"Emma-"

"No, I mean really. Fairy tales are great, the bad guys are bad, the good guys are good and you vanquish the bad guys the good guys win? What's so wrong with that. Instead they are all so blasted misunderstood and we have to wait for them to see the bloody light meanwhile they're taking out half the townsfolk-"

"EMMA!"

"WHAT?"

Mary Margaret was glancing over Emma's shoulder with a concerned look on her face and Emma turned just in time to see a glimpse of leather on the other side of the door to Granny's.

"Damn."

"Succinct but accurate." Mary Margaret said helpfully.

"I didn't mean... I just..."

"I don't think this conversation is meant for me, Emma."

Emma rubbed her forehead with both hands. Ruby brought her cocoa just then but Emma stood to go, "Sorry Ruby, I have to deal with ... my stupid mess." She pulled on her full length jacket and wrapped the scarf around her neck then fixed her hat on before taking a deep breath and pushing the door open. A blast of icy chill hit her immediately stealing her breath away and making her eyes water and burn.

* * *

Killian froze, the door halfway opened still behind him, though he let it fall closed when Leroy glared at him. His attention was fixed on the blonde at the first booth. Snow's eyes latched onto him immediately and widened in surprise and ... was that nervousness? The gaze froze him in his tracks with a feeling like he was intruding upon something he shouldn't hear.

"Why can't we just vanquish the bad guys anymore?" he heard Emma ask.

"Emma-" Snow said warningly, her eyes not leaving his.

"Seriously, does everybody have to be on some redemption kick?"

"Emma-" Snow turned her attention back to Emma, trying to get her to stop but the damage was done. Done but not finished, Emma continued words slurring slightly making Killian wonder exactly how much she'd had to drink this night.

"No, I mean really. Fairy tales are great, the bad guys are bad, the good guys are good and you vanquish the bad guys the good guys win? What's so wrong with that. Instead they are all so... misunderstood and we have to wait for them to see the bloody light meanwhile they're taking out half the-"

He couldn't hear anymore, and rapidly he turned, slipping out of Granny's and back out into the storm. The words echoed through his mind. She didn't mean to, of course, didn't mean to cause him pain but even so the words pierced his heart like a dagger. She was just drunk, and frustrated and damn if it didn't hurt anyway. This had nothing to do with him, he repeated to himself. She was just frustrated at one more Royal in town who had decided that a Maine winter was not nearly brutal enough.

As if to emphasize the point a gust of wind bit at his face, stinging the only exposed skin. This storm had a malice to it. It ripped at his coat, trying to pull away the leathers that protected him from the wind and he pulled the coat tighter around himself. Usually he would go to the docks when he needed to think. Make his way onto one of the ships and let the familiar pull of the tides comfort his spinning mind. But there were no tides. This far into the bay the surface of the water was frozen solid, the depth of the ice creeping deeper each day. Soon the hulls would freeze entirely. If that happened every ship in the harbor would sink to the bottom when the ice receded.

If the ice receded.

His feet had carried him to the docks anyway and he took the opportunity to slip onto one of the vessels. Taking a brief respite from the wind and checking the integrity of the hull. Cracks were making their way across the wood but nothing that couldn't be repaired...so far, anyway.

He should go back to Granny's he thought, pulling his scarf closer. In this cold, and this wind even his leather's couldn't protect him from the elements for long. He'd ridden out some brutal storms in his time, but nothing like this. No chill so deep the very ocean ceased it's movement. It was unnerving. In all his life the one thing he'd always counted on was that the tide always went out. And it always came back.

Now all was still, so still. It made his stomach clench in a way that was not wholly unlike when he had seen Milah fall, or when Emma lay prone and drenched on the deck of the Jolly. She shouldn't be so still...

He was about to turn away when the sound of a voice came to him on the wind.

"I've seen the way you look at him."

Killian spun but there was nothing but snow in any direction. The wind tugged at him, pulled at him like hands towards the water.

"Who's there?"

"You're not one of them, Killian." The voice returned, and a sudden powerful gust sent him flying off his feet and onto the ice. If it weren't so cold he would now be swimming in the bay. Killian pulled himself to his feet and the wind continued to tug at him. He began to walk in the direction it was blowing and to his relief the onslaught receded only to pick up again when he turned for shore.

"All right, you want to talk? Why don't you come and talk, or are you a coward too?"

"I am NOT" (the word was punctuated with another gust of wind that sent him to the ice again) "a coward."

Finally the swirling winds died down and he could see her in the distance. The Ice Queen, Elsa, the cause of this disaster.

"Elsa, darling, there are easier ways to get my attention," he said lightly stepping towards her. The wind shifted, blowing past him back towards shore now.

"You're not like them," Elsa repeated.

"I'm unlike any other, I promise you that."

"Why didn't you kill him?"

Killian halted and Elsa closed the distance between them eying him questioningly.

"You'll kill this whole bloody town if you keep this up, lass," Killian responded but he could feel the ice climbing his legs locking them in place as she glared at him.

"Answer me, you should have been my ally, why won't you kill him?"

"Because it's not just about me anymore," Killian finally spat out.

Elsa cocked her head to one side her eyes flicking back to shore briefly before focusing on him once more. "This is about the girl?"

"No." Killian retorted, "not anymore, not entirely. It's about her lad, her ridiculous charming family, it's about this whole bloody town. This is her home now and I'll not rip it apart seeking some empty consolation for what cannot possibly be consoled. And isn't that what you're doing? I don't know what he took from you, lass, but how the hell is freezing the town going to make that better."

Elsa's eyes flickered back and forth for a moment in what looked like nervousness.

"I can't-"

"Can't what, lass?" Killian asked, cringing as the ice bit into his thighs creeping steadily upward.

"I can't stop it, I don't know how," she said softly. "I have to destroy him. That will make it ... make me right again."

"It won't lass," Killian whispered, breath coming short as the ice began to restricted his chest.

Elsa began to pace back and forth and Killian realized that Snow had been right. This girl was lost... and she had no idea how to stop this.

Finally the wind died down a little and he caught another voice drifting towards him

* * *

Emma never realized how much she detested the cold until this ridiculous winter. This was beyond shivering, beyond teeth chattering. It was painful, bone achingly cold and no one could take much more of it. Also...she was a bit drunk and a bit of an idiot and none of those things were an excuse for what she just said... He'd forgive her right? He always seemed to come back for more, no matter how hard she hit him down.

Idiot.

Still her stomach clenched with nervousness. What if this was it? What if he'd finally had enough?

She walked towards the docks because despite this horrific storm he would come here. He always came here. She was checking the boat house first when suddenly she heard a voice outside, eerily carried on the wind.

"I've seen the way you look at him."

Emma spun, turning, looking for the one who taunted her, but no one was there. She made for the door of the boathouse and the voice continued,""You're not like them, Killian."

_Killian?_

The door of the boathouse slammed behind her and she made her way to the docks, and as she reached the edge she heard his voice carrying back to her from over the ice.

"I'm unlike any other, I promise you that."

"Why didn't you kill him?"

Emma looked out over the ice and saw Killian out in the center of the bay, Elsa not two feet in front of him. Their voices carried easily back to her in the shoreward winds.

"You'll kill this whole bloody town if you keep this up, lass."

"Answer me, you should have been my ally, why won't you kill him?"

"Because it's not just about me anymore," Killian sounded angry and frustrated and Emma could see the ice climbing around his legs locking him in place, She started to run out onto the ice, but apparently Elsa didn't like the idea. The wind picked up, forcing her back to the shore. The intensity of the gusts blocked out their voices for a moment and Emma called out his name. The words flew back to her and he didn't turn.

She fought against the wind in the snow, her eyes locked on Killian and the creeping ice that was climbing past his thighs and up his chest now. She called his name over and over but he didn't turn, probably couldn't if he wanted to with the ice locking him in place. Finally Elsa began to pace back and forth and the winds died down just enough for her to hear them again.

"I have to destroy him. That will make it ... make me right again."

Killian's answer didn't carry, but for some reason the winds finally stopped and Emma screamed Killian's name again as she ran out onto the ice. This time he must have heard her for he stiffened and turned his head slightly, as far as he could without moving his now mostly frozen torso.

"No, no, no, Killian, What's happening?" Emma cried as she ran across the frozen bay. Elsa vanished as Emma approached and halted in front of the pirate. As Emma slid to a stop she looked for the witch, hands raised defensively.

"Listen to me." Killian whispered urgently from behind her, "that girl needs help. Do you hear me, my love?"

Emma pressed forward but then flinched away at the press of the ice that was now her Pirate.

"I love you, Emma." his words were so soft they were nearly taken by the wind before they reached her ears.

"Killian, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'll fix this." Suddenly on impulse she dove forward. Was this a curse? Could true love's kiss break it? Were they true love? The questions raced through her mind but she didn't dwell on them, she had to try. She touched her lips to his gently and a shiver passed through her, they were already frozen, cold. She pulled away, waiting expectantly but nothing happened, he remained frozen in place cold eyes entreating her with his last words. The words echoed in her mind. This should work, it should work. He loved her and she... she couldn't live without him. She kissed him again and again until her lips began to turn blue and crack from the cold. Finally she sank onto the ice and pulled out her phone with shaking hands.

"Dad? She said quietly when his voice came onto the line...

* * *

"Dad, please..." Emma's voice was shaking and David grabbed his coat immediately and was down the stairs and out the door a moment later.

"Where are you Emma?" He asked.

"At the docks, It's Killian ... Dad what am I going to do." He was running now, sprinting for the dock as fast as he could without slipping and falling.

"Shh, Emma, It's going to be ok. I'll be there soon. Where are you?"

"Out...on the water. We... she... Dad I don't know what to do."

"Emma I want you to get up and go to the boathouse, ok."

"I can't."

"Emma, go now."

He heard a noise on the other end and he hoped she was listening to him for once but then her voice returned, "I can't, I can't leave him."

"All right, Emma. Stay on the phone with me, ok, can you see the dock."

"Yes."

"I'm almost there, all right."

"Thanks, Daddy." A chill passed through him. Something was very very wrong to make his little girl sound like a little girl again.

"I'm almost there," he repeated as he sprinted onto the dock and out onto the ice, he could see her now in the distance. Killian was standing over her and confusion filled his mind. Was he hurting her, as he drew closer he realized the pirate wasn't moving, just standing there as Emma cried at his feet. What the hell kind of a man... He didn't have time to finish the thought because Emma dropped the phone and stood running to him. She fell into his arms, tears falling down her cheeks. Killian didn't move, didn't so much as turn as Emma brushed passed him.

"Dad, I tried to fix it but it won't work, it doesn't work."

"What are you talking about Emma, what-"

Taking a deep breath Emma pulled him forward and around the frozen pirate and Charming stopped mid-stride pulling Emma back into his arms. "I'm sorry, Emma, I'm so sorry."

"Why can't I fix it?" She muttered and Charming finally noticed her blue cracked lips and his heart sank.

"It's the ice, Emma..." David muttered, mind flying back to a golden statue in the woods of the Enchanted Forest. He brushed frozen tears away with a gloved hand and pulled her closer, "Come on Emma, We have to get you warm."

"No, I can't leave, I have to fix this. I'm the savior, right, I have to save him."

"Emma How-"

"I don't know..." She yelled, "What's the good of having magic if it can't protect the people... If it can't protect people, what good is it?"

Charming's eyes widened and he smiled. Emma glanced down and saw to her amazement her hands were glowing with a warm golden light.

"I can fix this." she muttered stepping forward hesitatingly, unsure how to proceed. Finally she just let instinct guide her, and stepped forward laying her hands on either side of his face. "Come on, Killian," she mumbled as the warm glow sank into his skin.

Slowly the warmth spread, the ice beginning to crack and melt and fall away. Finally Killian collapsed and Emma knelt next to him waiting for him to open his eyes. When he finally did a grin split her face from ear to ear.

He looked confused for a moment before finally smiling himself and saying, "Hello beautiful."

She grinned and kissed him and he pulled her closer instantly. "About bloody time," he smirked and Emma pulled away looking at him in confusion. He was smirking at her and she pulled away, She knew that look. She pulled away farther...

"What's wrong, love, don't like the audience? Why don't we go find my ship, it's quite...private."

Emma backed away another step, slamming her walls back into place.

Hook.

It was Hook.

This was Hook.

Emma turned away making her way back towards the dock, steps stiff then stopped, turning around. "I'll meet you at the boathouse. I have to do something."

They turned to go and Emma stayed behind, calling Elsa's name into the wind.

"Elsa, I know you can hear me." Charming and Hook turned as Elsa appeared in front of Emma.

Charming turned to go to Emma's aid but Hook turned to continue towards shore.

"What the hell is wrong with you pirate, you're just going to leave her with that witch?"

"Do I look like a knight in shining armor?" Hook laughed and headed for shore as Charming returned to Emma's side.

"What did you do to him," Emma was asking Elsa.

"I didn't mean to," Elsa sighed..."his heart is frozen."

"But I fixed it... My magic thawed him."

"A heart takes more than that to thaw," Elsa told her, a deep melancholy in her eyes. "True loves kiss, in fact."

"But I ... I kissed him."

"That's the problem isn't it. A frozen heart cannot truly love."

"How do you know that?"

"My sister... It's his fault." The temperature seemed to drop around them and Emma pulled her scarf tighter.

"What happened, it's whose fault."

"The dark one. He put her in harms way. He threw her into my path ... I didn't mean to."

"You froze her heart." Emma finished, suddenly realizing what had happened.

"You have the magic to unfreeze him, which I thought would be enough. But it isn't enough. A frozen heart is not capable of love... so the curse cannot be broken. She's still in his vault...but even if I could reach her... I can never get her back. He has to pay... he has to pay for what he did."

"Can't we just skip to the song and dance number?" Emma asked in frustration.

Elsa just looked at her perplexed, and Emma sighed. "Look, this town is going to freeze if-"

"You think I don't know that." A gust of wind shot through Emma and she shuddered. "I can't stop it, not until I kill him." Then she was gone and Emma wrapped her arms around herself.

Charming put his arm around her and led her back to the boathouse. "I'm sorry, Emma," he muttered in her ear. He wiped a tear off her face and she squared her shoulders then pushed open the door to the boathouse. A gust of heat met her and she reveled in its warmth for a moment before...wait...heat?

"K- Hook! What the hell did you-?"

"Ah, there you are lass, I was hoping she wouldn't freeze you solid. You're much too lovely for such a fate."

The pirate had thrown his coat aside and was warming himself by a makeshift bonfire...which was probably made up of planks from someone's ship.

"Hook, you can't just burn random people's possessions," Emma sighed.

"Pirate," he shrugged, "burning people's possessions is something of a talent of mine."

She stared at him for a moment, eyes glimmering with tears that she wouldn't let fall. She remembered his kiss outside of Granny's, the pain in his eyes when he finally admitted having given up his ship for her. His smile against her lips...

"See something you like, lass?" He asked catching her gaze. She realized she had indeed been starring. But not at him. She was staring at Killian... and Killian was gone.

"Aye, I know that look. Come lass, let's find my lovely lady and I'll take you for a ride you'll never forget."

"The sea is frozen over, Hook."

"Aye." He nodded, the smirk drifting across his face again.

David sighed and walked up to the pirate. "Sorry, Mate."

"Wha-"

He didn't get a chance to finish the sentence before David punched him and the pirate fell.

"Thanks, Dad."

"Emma, I assure you...It was _no_ trouble at all. So... what are we going to do with him."

"Lock him up again, I guess, until we know ... who he is."

David nodded leaning down and heaving the pirate over his shoulder. Once he was balanced Emma grabbed Killian's coat and kicked out the miniature bonfire. Pushing the door open for David they made their way back into town.

The storm had lessened slightly and it didn't take them long to reach the sheriffs station. Charming even managed to make Emma laugh once or twice with brief comments on how the heavy pirate had clearly let himself go...and that a couple more servings of lasagna and he'd never be able to lug him so far. Emma appreciated the effort because it distracted her, however briefly, from the clenching pain in her chest that came whenever she thought about her pirate's frozen heart, that she would never see Killian again. *

When Charming finally lowered Killian... Hook to the bed in the jail cell Emma sighed sitting down next to the cell and leaning her head back against the wall. Charming locked the door and sat next to Emma, "I'm going to go tell Snow what's going on, I'll be back soon, all right."

Emma nodded and accepted the brief kiss on her forehead before Charming left Emma alone with the unconscious man in the cell. She watched his sleeping form, pretending she didn't notice the way her hands shook. Finally she couldn't stand it anymore and she unlocked the cell and slipped inside, locking it behind her and slipping the key into her pocket. She carefully freed the hook from it's brace and tossed it to the chair outside the bars.

She moved to the head of the bed, leaning back against the wall while her fingers ran through his hair next to her. This was nice. While he was asleep she could pretend that he was still here...That he would still wake up hers. When she opened her eyes again she saw beautiful blue and smiled. He was standing in front of her watching her carefully then he leaned forward, settling his weight on one knee between her legs. He kissed her softly and for a moment, for one sweet beautiful moment she forgot.

* * *

**AN:**

**Reviews feed me when I forget to eat dinner. **_(Just saying...actually that reminds me...)_

**So I've discovered I tend to write in bouts of inspiration **_(procrastination)_** Which means my previews don't come very far before the chapter. Since I intended that to be a thank you bonus for my reviewers ... I think instead I'm going to start writing bonus scenes for you guys, how does that sound? **_(sounds like you are procrastinating something ... Perhaps) _**Think of it like a deleted scene, something not strictly speaking necessary to the plot but still kind of fun!**

**7/17/2014 : I still have all the bonus scenes I've written for this and upcoming chapters saved in a doc so if you're curious you can still leave me a review and I'll send the 'bonus' to you. Or send me a PM. Don't care if it's public or not, just curious what you guys think. **

**At least I didn't kill poor Killian this time. Not... entirely... anyway... *ducks rotten tomatoes***


	26. Beware the Frozen Heart 2

She moved to the head of the bed, leaning back against the wall while her fingers ran through his hair next to her. This was nice. While he was asleep she could pretend that he was still here...That he would still wake up hers. When she opened her eyes again she saw beautiful blue and smiled. He was standing in front of her watching her carefully then he leaned forward, settling his weight on one knee between her legs. He kissed her softly and for a moment, for one sweet beautiful moment she forgot. Then she felt his hand slipping towards her pocket.

The key.

She shoved him backwards and he fell back a couple steps, immediately recovering and pushing towards her again. She stood and he pressed her against the wall his hand still trying to reach her pocket.

"I'll take that key, Princess. I've no desire to be locked up by you again."

She shoved him again and pulled the key from her pocket. In a moment she realized she wouldn't have time to get out without him following, so she threw the key away from her through the bars of the cell.

He watched the key fly then turned narrowed eyes to her. "That was unwise," he snarled, "Now you're stuck in here with me."

"I'm not afraid of you," she said, staring him right in the eyes.

"No," he mused, stepping toward her again. "No I suppose you aren't, you have some fight in you, don't you lass? I like that. And you ... you like this..." he was pressing her towards the wall again and she closed her eyes. "Aye, lass, you want me. I can see it in those beautiful eyes of yours."

His hand drifted behind her neck like he had done so many times before ... and she let out a soft sigh. He pressed closer, kissing her heatedly, closer and closer still. She was trapped between the cold stone wall and the heat of his body and she never wanted to escape. It was so easy, so easy to pretend that it was still him. Still her Killian, the one who loved her...who would go to the ends of the world for her.

She poured herself into the kiss, pushing the knowledge out of her mind. Pretending he was still here. Killian groaned into her neck then whispered in her ear, "I've always loved a lass who knows what she wants."

The word nearly stopped her heart, because it wasn't right. He didn't love her, it wasn't him... She shoved him hard, this time hard enough that he fell back to the floor.

Hook laughed, propping himself up on one forearm behind him, "You like it rough, eh lass? He's a lucky man, the man you're pretending I am."

Her eyes snapped open. "How did you-"

"You're something of an open book to me, remember love."

"You're not him. That was a..."

"One time thing, lass?" There was a mocking tone in his voice now and she eyed him carefully, wondering how much he remembered.

"All of it, _love." _He answered her unspoken question. "You had me wrapped around your pretty little fingers once upon a time... and I have the misfortune of remembering every embarrassing moment of it."

His words stung and she closed her eyes again, wanting to be anywhere but here.

"You loved me," she muttered softly, "and I loved you."

"Well, it's of no consequence now," Hook shrugged and pushed himself back against the wall.

"I suppose it's not," she replied. She tried to pull her eyes away but she couldn't, simply watching as he stretched out one leg and rested his left arm on the other raised knee.

He raised his eyebrows when he noticed her gaze and laughed, "You actually did love him didn't you? Nice timing, lass."

Emma sighed, finally sitting again and continuing to watch him carefully. Why not? He knew anyway. "I still love you," she admitted, finally looking away. "I always will. Even if you never escape from that frozen heart of yours."

"Best bloody thing that's ever happened to me."

She glanced up quickly, hardly daring to hope...

"The frozen heart, I mean," he said with a smirk. She saw it in his eyes, he was playing with her and she gritted her teeth.

"Would you like to feel something amazing, love?"

She raised her eyebrows and his smirk only grew more pronounced.

He hopped to his feet and walked over to the other side of the cell. He took her hand and brought it up to his chest. She shivered. His fingers were warm but his chest, the spot right above his heart was still cold as ice. He dropped her hand and settled back on the bed, leaning against the other side of the wall watching her.

"You would have found a way to fix this...if it were me," she muttered, mostly to herself. She hardly noticed when he chuckled. "I will find a way to fix this. And if I can't, I don't know... I suppose I'll have to do my best to see that you're happy ... without destroying my town. I suspect you'll make my life a living hell, but you're stuck with me pirate...because you wouldn't have given up on me."

His eyes drifted closed, but he laughed. "I'm happier than I've been in years so... Quest accomplished, love, congratulations."

"You're not."

"I am."

Emma sighed, "Say whatever you like. I know you Killian Jones. And you know this isn't right. Something is missing and it will eat away at you. Just like it did me."

"Yes, clearly you were pining away. Oh no... wait, you were in New York; living with a bloody simian while he was pining away like a lovesick pup. Keep your version of happy, Swan, it's unappealing."

"So what are you going to do now? Break out of here and start chasing down the crocodile again."

"Oh what for? I think I've given quite enough of my life to that tortured story. Do you have brothels in this world," he asked suddenly... "I've got a lot of making up for lost time to do."

Emma rolled her eyes, glancing over at him where he was peaking out from under his lashes to watch her response. She picked up her still wet gloves from next to her and tossed them at his head. They bounced off his head with a splat sound and Hook cried out "Oy, all right love fine, you can have me first!"

She laughed for a moment. Just a brief moment before her eyes darkened again.

* * *

"Emma..." David called as he entered the station.

"Yup."

"You're... in the jail cell?"

"Yup."

"With the pirate?"

"Yup."

"Why-?"

"Because any minute now we were going to have very loud, rauco-"

"Oh come on David, just open the door already." Emma said, glaring at Hook.

Emma turned to Hook. "Here are the rules. Don't leave the town... and that's not a suggestion... you actually can't leave the town. It's a magic thing don't ask. No murder, no thievery no...anything...or I will lock you up here again. Just... try not to make any trouble, ok?"

"That sounds exceedingly monochromatic."

"Excuse me?"

"Boring, darling. Sounds boring."

"Would you rather stay here?"

"Not particularly."

David opened the door and Emma slipped out, Hook right behind her.

"It's been lovely," Hook called with a mock bow before leaving the station, picking up his hook from her desk on his way out.

Emma sank down into her chair and David put a hand on her shoulder. "It's going to be ok, Emma."

They sat for a long time before Emma finally gathered the strength to speak.

"Is there anything... anything I can do. Have you talked to Rumpelstiltskin?"

"Sorry Emma...It's like she said. True love's kiss is the only cure. But-"

"He's incapable of true love, yeah I definitely got that part."

"Water from Lake Nostros helped Frederick... but that's a little hard to come by around here."

"Yeah, no kidding... Wait...what about the well?" Emma asked, hope springing to life in her chest.

David looked contemplative for a moment. "It's not.. the same, but it's worth a shot." Emma bolted to her feet, grabbing her gun and holster and ran out of the station.

She went to the docks first but he was no where to be seen. Then she sighed, where would Hook go? She turned and made for the Rabbit Hole.

Sure enough when she got to the Rabbit Hole the bartender pointed her to a back booth. The dark alcove was littered with shot glasses and bottles but they did not keep her attention for long. Hook was leaning back in the booth a red head in a tight dress on his lap turned towards him and kissing him deeply. She waited for them to come up for air but they showed no signs of stopping so finally Emma stepped closer to the booth.

"Hook," Emma called.

Hook opened his eyes and cocked his head slightly to see around the girls flaming hair. "You again, lass? What is it now."

The red-head continued her ministrations dropping her kisses down his neck and towards the v-neck of his tunic as he spoke. Emma pointedly ignored her, but she couldn't help a small cringe when she returned to his lips clenching her fingers into his hair.

"Come on Hook, We're going on a little trip."

"Back to the cell already? Tell me Swan, does it look to you like I'm forcing myself on this lass?" he chuckled and the woman giggled shifting in his lap and making him groan. Emma bit the inside of her lip but didn't back down. "Lovely little minx, you are," he muttered into her ear and Emma coughed again.

"Still here lass? Well what do you say Roxy? Up for a third?"

The girl finally turned, looking Emma over before shaking her head. "I'm not big on sharing," she murmured and Hook grinned glancing back to Emma.

"Sorry, love, but first come first served, as they say..." He turned into the girls ear and mumbled "or is it the other way..."

Finally Emma had had enough, pulling her gun she pointed it at Hook.

"You're coming with me. Now, pirate."

"Oh please, love, you and I both know you won't shoot me."

Roxy chose just that moment to turn around though, and she immediately jumped away.

"What the hell is wrong with you... I don't want anything to do with psycho ex's you hear." She pulled the rest of the way out of Hook's grip and bolted from the table.

"That was rude, Swan, she was a fireball." Hook sighed, "alright, apparently you're just going to scare all the lovelies off until I do as you ask, aye?"

Emma holstered the weapon and he stood leaving the table with a reluctant look back at the redhead. Emma sighed pushing him out the door in front of her. "You know Roxy isn't even her real name, right?"

"Aye, lass, but Hook isn't really mine either now is it. Killian has too many syllables though, they always prefer to scream Hook. Or various deities... which do you prefer, love?"

"I'm starting to think I should have left you frozen."

"No you're not."

"Do me a favor, pirate? And by favor, I mean do it or I start learning how to create a sleeping curse."

"Aye, lass?"

"Not another word until we reach the clearing."

A grin split his face but he finally fell silent.

When they reached the well Emma glanced down hopefully. Frozen solid of course, but she closed her eyes feeling the familiar glow of her power flowing into her hands and down the rope, it spread through the rope and into the clearing, the snow vanishing from the area as it flowed. After a moment she pulled the bucket up with clear liquid water inside.

She dipped a cup into it and handed it to Hook. "Drink."

"Water? You brought me out here for water? That's a fine excuse love, but if you wished to get me to yourself-"

"This well is connected to the portal at Lake Nostros," Emma interrupted.

"And you want me to risk losing what I've got now, I think not."

"I swear, Hook. Drink it or I will follow you around for the rest of your life scaring away each and every woman you try to bed."

"Quite passionate Swan," he taunted raising the cup in a mock toast, "To manipulation," he said, drinking the water.

Nothing happened for a moment. Then Hook dropped the cup, the sound loud in her oversensitive ears. He fell to his knees and put his hands over his chest a look of confusion and pain on his face.

Emma knelt in front of him placing a hand on his cheek, "Killian? Killian, please come back to me?"

He raised his eyes to hers and they lit up, "Emma? Emma, are you alright? Elsa she was-"

She cut him off with a kiss and she could swear this was what relief tasted like. It tasted like rum and Killian and smelled like leather and salt.

"I missed you so much, Killian." she mumbled into his ear feeling his fingers brush through her hair in that so familiar way.

"I missed you too, my love. My darling. My life." He punctuated each sentence with a kiss and she felt herself gradually being pushed backwards into the forrest floor.

"My love," he mumbled over and over, kissing her neck and face and pressing her closer and closer. His hand slipped under her coat roaming down to her waist and hips and she burned, and froze. She closed her eyes, raising her hand to his chest... she had to know...she didn't want to know... but she had to know. He intercepted it and kissed it lightly.

"You're not him," she said, tone mournful.

"I am, love. He wasn't capable of love, my Swan, I am not capable of living without it. Come, love, Let me take you home."

A blast of magic sent Hook flying across the clearing, he slammed into the well and the bucket crashed back into the depths with a splash. She didn't open her eyes, couldn't see the smirk, but nothing could protect her from that laugh. He laughed loudly, pulling himself up from the well and she finally opened her eyes.

The smirk was firmly in place again.

"Open book, love," he teased, then sighed. He stepped toward her a couple steps then squatted in front of her when she didn't blast him away.

"Come on, Swan," He said lightly, "it doesn't have to be like this. I know you. I may not love you, but I know you. I know what you like. I can lie to you. By morning, you'll swear it was him."

"Go."

He shrugged, saying "the offer stands," before disappearing from the clearing, his light chuckles carrying back to her as he left her behind.

Emma pulled herself up and buried her head in her hands. He was gone. He was really gone. It repeated in her head over and over again as the snow slowly recovered the clearing in a pristine white blanket.

* * *

Emma walked slowly back to the station, she didn't want to have to tell David that it didn't work, didn't want to have to say out loud that she was out of ideas. She glanced down at her phone and saw several missed calls from David, she didn't bother calling back, just picked up the pace since she was almost back to the station anyway. She didn't even make it into the station though, because as she tried to enter David was leaving.

"What's the rush?" she asked.

"Do you ever pick up your phone," David said in exasperation, "come on, someone broke into Mr. Gold's shop."

Emma groaned and frustration, "Of course he did."

"I take it the water was not as miraculous as we'd hoped?"

"Not so much." Emma responded following David's lead.

When they arrived though, Mr. Gold seem to have things well under control. Killian's face was bruised and bleeding and to Emma's surprise Belle was standing in front of Killian.

"Stop it Rumple, this isn't you!"

Killian took advantage of the opportunity, seizing Belle from behind and holding his hook at her throat.

"Oh it is, my dear. It is very much him, but that's a conversation for another day."

"Killian" Emma cried, "Didn't we have a conversation about murder attempts."

"Never fear, lass, I'm not going to murder him. I'm just going to take what's mine. His hand, of course."

"Your hand?" Mr. Gold said in annoyance, "Really that's what you decided you need to have vengeance for now?"

"Aye. You stole my hand. I want yours."

"You stole my wife." Rumple said dismissively.

"You stole her back, so I figure we're even there," Killian retorted just as lightly and Emma cringed. "So, Dark One let's make a deal. I get your hand, you're free to choose which one, and I don't gut your new bride like a fish."

"I prefer these terms: you let my new bride go, or you disappear and reappear in four different places at one time."

"Rumble no," cried Belle but Rumpelstiltskin ignored her, waving his hand and sending Killian flying into the back wall of the shop.

Killian stood shakily and Rumpelstiltskin advanced on him, again ignoring Belle's protests. Emma stepped directly into Gold's path, head held high.

"Stop it, Gold, or I swear I'll arrest you both."

"Will you put us in the same cell, love," Killian asked, "or perhaps you should take me home to keep an eye on me?"

Gold advanced menacingly but Emma did not back down, until suddenly his attention was distracted by Belle's small voice. "I thought... if I had the dagger..."

All eyes turned to Gold, and suddenly everyone else also realized he had just ignored an order from Belle.

Killian laughed coldly, "I always thought that was a little convenient, good play crocodile."

Belle was silent for the moment, just staring but when Gold advanced towards her she backed away. Finally she asked quietly, "You lied to me?"

"He does that," Killian put in helpfully, coughing as he struggled to his feet.

This had the potential to get very very bad, so Emma proceeded to make her way to Killian. She turned around and pushed him into the wall. He had probably broken some things... again... but she ignored the fact, being none too gentle as she cuffed his arms behind his back.

"You're coming with me," she hissed at him. "You can walk yourself or I can use the Rumpelstiltskin method of transport."

Killian raised an eyebrow "I'll walk but only if you promise to push me against the wall again when we get there."

Emma rolled her eyes and pushed Killian out the door, escaping what was probably a pending 'domestic dispute' call. Killian probably needed to go to the hospital, but it was too far away and cars were out of the question in this weather, so instead it was back to the jail cell and a call to Dr. Whale.

Killian sighed melodramatically as they closed the jail cell behind him mumbling something about the Swan girl and her bloody restraints as he sat, a pained look crossing his face. He winced and the pain seemed to keep him occupied from future inappropriate comments. Whale came by and after a brief evaluation told them that he was just bruised and would be fine "if he could refrain himself from future outbursts of extraordinary stupidity."

"Probably not," Emma responded, "That's why you're on speed dial." She turned to Killian as Whale left the station, "So what happened to making up for lost time?" She said, "I figured you'd be back to that spitfire."

Killian shrugged, "I did go back. Roxy had told every lass in the place that the Sheriff would shoot anyone that came near me. Nice work there lass."

Emma shrugged noncommittally and he continued.

"It'll pass, and you have agreed not to intimidate away my future...prospects."

"I did no such thing."

"Really lass because I distinctly remember... Ah... clever lass. So what exactly do I have to do to get you to make such an arrangement."

"Not piss me off, for one."

"Or perhaps I simply need to piss you off more. Seriously, lass, this is getting a little pathetic. The puppy dog that followed you around is gone now, just let him go. I'm more fun anyway."

"I'm not giving up on you," Emma said, glancing up from her paperwork for the briefest moment.

"Perhaps you should try true loves kiss for a while longer?" Hook asked, standing with a grunt and approaching the bars to motion her over. She ignored him, gritting her teeth. "Come on love, maybe it takes a while to stick. Or maybe you need something a little stronger...to really... make that connection."

She closed her eyes, they were burning again but there was no way she would let him see that.

"Come on, love. Let me out. I can be him for a while, make it stop hurting for a while."

"You are not him."

"No, I'm not, but I know how to be him."

She glanced up and he was looking at her with fevered eyes. They captured her, pulled her in, wouldn't let her look away. They were _his_ eyes. _Oh God._

"Come on, my love, smile for me." She closed her eyes, it wasn't him. Wasn't him. She wished she could close her ears as easily.

"Emma, love, please? Look at me, Swan, just look at me."

_Don't do it, don't look up._

She looked up and he watched her still, no hint of a smirk, no glint of mischievous eyes, just an intensely blue gaze that bored into her, saw right through her.

"You don't have to do this alone, lass. Please, let me help you."

"Shut up, just be quiet."

"As you wish."

Her heart clenched and she thought she might be sick. It was too much. It was too..._him_ and she just wanted to melt into his arms and let him lie to her.

"As you wish," he repeated, responding to her thoughts rather than her words. Because he could do that, damn him, he could always do that.

"God, Killian," she muttered under her breath, so quietly he shouldn't have heard her. But he heard her, he always heard her. "I miss you."

"You don't have to miss me, love, I'm right here. I'm right here with you, always."

Finally she jumped up and stepped toward the bars, "It's about bloody time," he muttered, and God, she would swear that there was nothing but relief in his eyes. She reached in and grabbed his collar in an all to familiar gesture, but this time she used it to pull him roughly against the bars making him wince again.

"Bloody hell, lass, easy, do you always react so violently to declarations of love and devotion?"

"Do not do that anymore."

"Why not, love?"

"I may not have given up on him but you... until I find a way to get him back I am more than happy to cause you significant pain and suffering."

"Not nice to tease, love."

"And do not call me, love."

"Of course, I'd taken to adding the possessive lately haven't I, my love."

"Try me pirate, just keep pushing and I'll have you locked up somewhere far away until I figure out what to do with you. Storybrooke has a mental institution... Do you understand me?"

"Perfectly, as always," he replied, but Killian melted away, the smirk returned to his eyes and the fevered gaze dissolved into cold icy indifference. Hook returned and she released his collar, turning and leaving the room without another word.

"Bloody brilliant," she heard him mutter, as the door slammed closed behind her.

She felt the relief like a physical weight being removed from her as the door closed between them. This was harder than actually losing him, she realized. He was gone, truly gone, locked inside his own heart... but he was still here, tormenting her with what could no longer be. This must have been what it was like, coming to see her in New York when she had no idea who he was... But he had a plan, he had hope, a way to get her back.

She had nothing, no hope. No magic could save him, except that which was made impossible by the curse. He wouldn't give up on her, she repeated to herself like a mantra. She sat outside the door, dropping her head back against the wall and wondering how she was going to survive this. Was she really going to follow him around for the rest of his life knowing that he could never love her ... Swatting away tavern girls and breaking up bar fights?

What would he have done if there was no memory potion, no way to bring her back? She smiled slightly, he would've moved in next door, been a persistent pain until she fell in love with him again. And she would have, eventually. Persistence would get her nothing, it wasn't his memories that were gone. He remembered everything... The only thing that was lost was the only thing that mattered. She heard the door to the station open but she didn't look up. Finally she felt someone sit next to her. Glancing up she saw a mug held out to her that smelled suspiciously like chocolate.

Snow put her arm around Emma as she took a small sip. Chocolate and cinnamon and just the faintest hint of rum.* Tears pricked at her eyes again and she blinked them back leaning her head onto her mother's shoulder.

"Thanks mom."

Snow played with her hair comfortingly as she sipped the drink. She didn't tell her it would be all right, or that they would figure something out. They were all implied ... but she knew her daughter couldn't bear to hear them right now. So she jut held her and whispered "We love you, Emma. You're not alone," in her ear, while softly combing through her hair with gentle fingers.

* * *

**AN: Love the pain, guys. Just...love the pain. Just 1 more to go, I think... :P **

**I hope my reviewers liked the bonus scene I sent you! For those of you that don't review, (or can't get PM's... guests etc) Fear not... I'm not holding hostage anything that I consider essential to the story, I promise! It's just a bonus! ****I actually go back after I'm finished writing the chapter and pick someplace I can write a little tangental scene for you that goes a little deeper. **

**They're fun but they might sometimes break the flow a bit or be from another POV so they don't immediately occur to me as I'm writing! Hence the idea of 'deleted scene'**


	27. Beware the Frozen Heart 3

**I apologize for making you wait, everyone. Without further ado the conclusion to this 3 part angst fest. Enjoy the feels. **

* * *

The phone was ringing inside the station. Emma could hear it, but she didn't move. Not for a few seconds before she finally pulled herself together. She was not going to let him do this to her, keep her from her job and her responsibilities. She stood and Mary Margaret released her grip on Emma's shoulder as Emma left to pick up the phone. Then Mary Margaret heard a string of curses before the phone finally stopped ringing. She followed her daughter back inside and immediately saw the reason for the curses. The cell door was open, the room empty.

Emma hung up the phone and picked up her cell, waiting for the person on the other end to pick up. She put it down and began to pace when Snow finally asked "what's going on Emma, what happened to him?"

"I need you to go get David… Belle too."

"What?"

"Hook escaped*, must have stolen the key from me while I was...distracted. He went back for a second shot at Gold it seems, because Granny just called. Apparently Belle left him and he's gone off the deep end. He's making a scene and threatening to rip out Killian's heart if I don't come immediately."

"Why does he want you to come?" Snow asked in confusion.

"I don't know... because this is my life apparently. Saving Captain Hook from getting his heart destroyed is like a normal Tuesday around here. Anyway, send them to the shop, Belle is probably the only one that can keep this from ending badly."

Snow nodded and they both left the station, Emma heading for Gold's shop and Mary Margaret in search of backup.

When Emma arrived at the shop she immediately saw that Granny had not been exaggerating. Gold was standing over Hook, his hand in his chest and a look of utter malice on his face.

"Miss. Swan, Gold said with feigned politeness, "you seem to be having trouble keeping track of your pirate these days."

"Gold, this is not the way to handle this."

"Really Miss. Swan? Because if it weren't for him Belle would still be here. I'm tired of him ruining my life."

"Gold-" Emma said, reaching out a hand toward him and stepping closer. Suddenly Gold flicked his hand and Killian hit the wall, a glimmering power keeping him trapped there. At the same time he grabbed her wrist and she found herself frozen in place. She tried to free herself with her magic but nothing happened, it was as though she couldn't reach it.

"Problem, Miss. Swan?" Gold laughed his high pitched giggle that made her blood run cold.

"What did you do to me?"

Gold giggled again, "You remember that little cuff that I've found so useful in the past. It is serving me once more, your power may be extraordinary dearie but not while you wear that."

"What do you want."

"I want to take from him what he took from me. What he keeps taking from me."

"And what's that?" Emma asked tone still confused, her eyes flicked to Killian who... damn him if he didn't look bored.

"His love." Gold plunged his hand into her chest and Emma cried out in pain and shock.

When Emma recovered she glared, "You can't take my heart, Gold... we've been through this...my magic-"

"What magic," the Dark One sneered and with a tug he pulled a vibrant scarlet heart from her chest. Emma cried out in pain again, her eyes widening in shock and horror.

She collapsed when his magic released her, and she looked up at him, wincing as he dug his fingernails into her heart, she could distantly hear Killian talking to the crocodile but there was a bizarre buzzing in her ears that was making it hard for her to understand him...though it sounded like he was explaining about his frozen heart. Good, maybe that would get Gold to stop clenching her heart quite so hard. She gasped as another jolt of pain passed through her and her vision began to swim.

* * *

He wasn't entirely sure why the crocodile didn't just kill him, but the man had clearly been stalling, waiting for the sheriff to arrive. Now he had the lass' magic bound and was bantering with her. Hook couldn't help but roll his eyes as Gold mourned the loss of his love. As if the crocodile was any more capable of that particular emotion than he was...

The Swan girl's eyes flicked to him in confusion because the crocodile was talking about him again, saying he needed to take what Killian had kept taking from him. Which Hook thought odd... for all their animosity he'd never tried to take the crocodile's heart.

"His love," the crocodile exclaimed, plunging his hand into Emma's chest. A jolt of something...uncomfortable shot through Hook as he watched. The pain of an old memory, Hook reasoned...still, it would be hell living in this town if he let the sheriff be murdered in front of him...so he spoke up trying to get the crocodile's attention.

"You're a little behind the times, Crocodile. I don't love her. My heart is frozen... it's ice. You felt it, you know it's true."

"Perhaps," said the crocodile, clenching Emma's heart again, making her gasp in pain as Killian looked on. He didn't like this, it was bad form, torturing a woman like this. (_At least not without a good reason_, he amended...) He began to pull against his restraints distractedly.

"Are you quite sure pirate?" Gold mocked, "because you look a little uncomfortable."

"I'm locked to a wall while you try to murder someone and I'm probably next... yes, I'm a little uncomfortable," Hook spat out, trying to ignore what felt suspiciously like nervousness coiling in his stomach. His heart hammered in his throat ... Because he was next, of course. What else could it be? His mind was spinning, mixed up memories screaming at him that this can't happen. This had to be stopped. Still he kept his gaze even as he watched her. The Swan girl crumpled to her knees and he felt himself fighting harder against his bonds, though he didn't recall telling his muscles to do so.

"Your heart really is frozen, isn't it?" Gold commented, watching the pirate carefully as Emma gasped in pain.

"Aye, so you might as well let her go. It's not going to destroy me like you think it well."

"Maybe not yet. I will make it my personal mission to find a way to thaw your heart pirate. And then you can think back fondly to the time you let Emma Swan be murdered in front of you and that the last thing she heard you say was that you didn't love her."

"So you think this is the way to get Belle back," Killian taunted, "she have a thing for your dark side? Or were you going to strip her memories and bring back ...that other one. Lacey, I think it was? You two had fun together...she'd definitely be into this-"

"Belle's gone, she left me, because of you-"

"NO!"

Killian glanced to the door of the shop, unexpected relief surging through him at the bookworm's voice.

"No, Rumple, I left because of you. Look at yourself, what are you doing?"

"This is who I am, Belle, He's taken so much from me," his grip tightened, "how can I not-"

Tears dripped down Belle's cheeks as Emma collapsed to the floor, the pain finally too much for her.

"Emma," Belle called, rushing forward, "Rumple please, please don't do this. This isn't you, this isn't the man I'm in love with." She clung to the ring on her finger as though she could hold onto the man she loved if she could only clasp it tight enough.

"How do you know? Maybe this is who I've always been."

"You don't have to do this, Rumple. Let her go, show me that I wasn't wrong about you. Please, Rumple."

Rumpelstiltskin sighed, closing his eyes and with a flick of his wrist the heart flew back towards Emma and the shackle released her wrist. Hook collapsed to the ground and crawled over to Emma's side. He should leave, he should get out of here before the crocodile snapped again. Belle was pushing Rumple away from them, as if mere distance could protect them. When the shop door finally closed behind them the pirate turned his attention back to the Swan girl.

"Swan?" he shook her lightly. "Wake up, love." She didn't stir. Was it too late, was her heart too damaged? He dropped a hand to her cheek brushing a strand of hair from her face without thinking and suddenly noticed his hand was shaking. His hand was shaking? His heart was pounding too and inexplicable nervousness was building in his stomach every moment that her eyes remained closed. He shook his head to clear it and stood to leave. Her father would be here soon, he'd no reason to stay... Still his body wouldn't respond. He told himself to leave and instead he found himself once more on his knees beside her.

"All right, love, come on. Wake up, sweetheart, so we can get the hell out of here."

Finally her eyelids began to flutter and she started to wake up.

"That's a good girl," he told her, clenching his trembling hand before it betrayed him. _It was the cold. Obviously the cold._

Then something happened that he couldn't blame on the cold at all ... her eyes opened. Relief flooded through him as her eyes tried to focus on him. They were so beautiful he couldn't help himself. He leaned in and kissed her. It felt right, God, it felt so right...God, it hurt. He gasped, a sharp anguish slicing like hot blades through his heart. He burned, it was burning him alive. _No, _he thought, but he couldn't let go, couldn't bear to stop so he only held her tighter, locking himself to her as the fiery waves coursed through him.

_Oh no, _he thought again for an entirely different reason. He opened his clenched eyes because he had to see her, had to know she was alive. The crocodile had tried to take her heart. Tried to kill her right in front of him and he had barely bothered to glance up. His hands roamed across her face and hair as though he could only be sure all was well if he felt it, every strand of hair had to be checked, just to be sure. He buried his head into her neck but suddenly she pushed him away.

"I told you. Do not pretend to be him," she bit out, eyes clenched closed in torment.

"Swan, I-"

"Stop, don't. Please don't."

She still wouldn't open her eyes so he took her hand, kissed it gently and laid it over his wildly pounding heart. Her eyes snapped open. It was warm and as soon as she opened her eyes she saw tears on his face.

"Killian?"

"I'm sorry, love. I'm so sorry, are you ...alright?" His right hand dropped to her wrist, and under the delicate flesh there he could faintly feel the pulse of her heart. Racing like his.

She gave him the only response possible, pulling him down to her and kissing him, keeping one hand on his heart...just to be sure... He pulled her up into his arms and by the time they pulled apart she was half sitting in his lap, his arms wrapped tightly around her. He stroked her hair gently away from her face and finally met her eyes again.

"I love you, Emma. I'm so sorry...all the things I said...Pl-"

"I know," Emma responded quickly kissing him lightly again.

Killian was quiet for a moment, eyes examining her face carefully as he tried to come to grips with what had happened to him.

"Did you mean it, Swan?" he finally asked.

"Mean what?"

"In the cell, you…" he cut himself off with a brief chuckle, "another distraction, I suppose, you do so excel at that."

Emma hesitated for a moment, biting her lip subconsciously. This was her chance, to backtrack, to pretend that particular admission had never happened… She glanced up at Killian for a moment and she smiled. Suddenly she didn't want to run, she wanted him to know.

"I meant it," she said.

He raised his fingers to her cheek, caressing her face with wide eyes. "Tell me, Emma, let me hear the words?"

"I love you." She said it softly … the words felt strange but the moment she said them his face lit up and so she said louder, "Killian, I love you."

Killian smiled, a sigh of relief escaping him, "and I you, Swan. God, that word on your lips; Say it again."

Emma laughed and buried her head into his neck, murmuring "I love you" into his skin. His chest rumbled with laughter and his arms closed around her even tighter.

"How is this possible? They said it was impossible to break the curse, that a frozen heart couldn't love."

"They were wrong," he mumbled. She felt his warm breath in her hair and the gentle pressure of him twisting her hair around his fingers. "I couldn't bear seeing your heart ripped out, not even trapped under a layer of ice. I thought my own heart was going to break free of my chest when I saw yours in his hand." He pulled her tighter. "I thought I was safe from that. I thought you were immune..."

"I'm fine now Killian, but I missed you. I missed you so much."

"I tried to trick you, to seduce you under false pretenses... I'm bloody lucky you didn't shoot me!"

"Can't say I didn't think about it ..." Emma admitted, voice teasing. Killian hummed approvingly into her hair. "Killian I'm sorry too." Killian scoffed in disbelief.

"For what...throwing me across a field when I tried to seduce you with a lie or stealing me away from that red-headed lass...or perhaps for following the bait and almost getting your heart ripped out because I was being an utter imbecile?" He shuddered and she turned in his grip to kiss him again, then pulling away just enough to speak.

"For all the times I pushed you away, the things I said to you... Killian I was lying to myself, and I thought if I just lied loud enough I'd believe it too. This... This whole mess wasn't you...but the things I said to you. There's no curse to blame for them."

Killian stiffened and Emma tightened her grip, concerned for a moment that he was going to realize that she was right and let her go. He pulled away and she thought she just might shatter without him there to hold her together. Instead he traced her jaw with his fingers and she relaxed again.

"You were protecting yourself, love. And rightly so, I'm not...strictly speaking a ...safe man."

His tone was serious but she couldn't help the laughter that bubbled up through her. "Hook disagrees with you," she finally managed to say.

"Is that so?"

"He thinks you're a puppy, remember?"

"Yeah well, I think he's bloody ... bologna flavored shark bait so we'll just have to agree to disagree."

"Bologna is what you're going to go with?" Emma repeated questioningly a small smile appearing on her face.

"Yes well... I'm a gentleman at the moment."

"I thought you were always a gentleman."

He chuckled, capturing her lips again and shifting her in his lap to face him.

"Getting ideas from that Roxy?" Emma asked watching the grin cover his face as she settled onto his lap again, facing him with her arms draped over his shoulders.

"Roxy," he scoffed, "I bet she couldn't even beat me in a duel. Still...should you wish to be so... forward I'd not complain."

Emma leaned in, hovering just in front of his lips. In her most sultry voice she whispered, "Really Killian?" he gulped visibly and she laughed, continuing in a normal voice, "bologna flavored shark bait is the best you could come up with... I don't even know .. does that make him more or less likely to get eaten by sharks?"

"Less, probably," Killian shuddered, "Doesn't matter...respect the creativity, love, what I actually think of him is not fit for a lady's delicate ears."

"Killian?" she whispered in his ear placing a light kiss there and smiling when he responded by tightening his grip on her. "Don't make me want to kill you when I'm so comfortable."

"Swan?" he murmured his response into her ear as well and she instinctively turned towards him.

"Hmm?" she replied.

"I'm fairly certain Princesses have people to do their murdering for them."

"Do they now?" she asked, her eyes flicking towards the door.

"Your father's about to walk through that door, isn't he, my Princess?"

...

"PIRATE!"

"Come on mate, aren't you even glad I'm back?"

* * *

"Do me a favor Killian?"

"Is this the favor kind of favor or the at risk of you using a sleeping curse on me kind of favor?"

"Try not to need a dashing rescue this time?"

"I will do my best, my princess, Are you ready? Hold tight."

Emma nodded and Killian called out over the ice. "Elsa!"

The wind picked up and Emma held on to the mast of the ship, still frozen in the icy bay. Killian put one hand around her as the gusts intensified, finally needing to steady himself by slamming his hook into the frozen wood. Some of it shattered away at the impact but the rest held fast. The wind increased it's ferocity and Killian tightened his grip on Emma as she pushed her face under his coat to protect her head. Bits of ice swirled around in the winds and the cold bit through to Killian's bones, until suddenly a warmth permeated his skin. He glanced down, squinting through the snow and saw Emma was glowing faintly, exuding more warmth than should have been possible in this chill. He watched in fascination for a moment. The snowflakes were not only melting on her skin, but in the air around her which shimmered slightly with warmth. She had done this before, to thaw him, and to retrieve water from the well, but never like this... Elsa finally appeared out of the swirling snows in front of them. She took one look at their posture, Killian's arm wrapped protectively around Emma, and her jaw dropped.

"Elsa, Listen to me," Killian called as the snow calmed slightly.

"That's impossible," Elsa muttered.

"To be honest, lass, I've essentially removed that word from my rather extensive vocabulary."

"How -". Elsa reached towards Killian's heart with curiosity but Emma turned to face her.

"The gloves, if you don't mind. We fixed it once, but it wasn't an entirely pleasant experience."

Elsa pulled her hand back, looking surprised and a bit bashful. She slipped the gloves onto her hands before reaching towards Killian again, laying her hand over his now warm heart. "Incredible," she muttered, "this means..."

"It might be possible to get your sister back," Emma affirmed. Elsa's hand fell from Killian's chest.

"How... How do I get her back? She's still trapped in the dark one's vault."

Emma smiled, "I know just the librarian you should talk to."

Emma glanced back towards Killian but his eyes were gazing past her ... out towards the sea. In the distance she could see giant cracks forming on the ice and finally...finally the snow stopped falling. Emma smiled in relief leaning back against Killian and enjoying the sun on her face for the first time in what felt like forever.

"I ..." Elsa paused for a moment before continuing, "I need to think, to clear my head ... You said... The librarian?"

"Aye. When you're ready, go talk to the librarian."

Elsa vanished and Emma sighed in relief and Killian kissed the top of her head. Emma responded with a smile and raised her hand to his heart in a gesture that had become habitual in just the few hours since she had gotten him back. Killian smiled sadly, "I'm back love... you don't have to... check."

"I just... needed..."

"To make sure it's really me." He finished, voice tight, "I understand, love." He forced a smile and tried to lighten the mood, "You'll never hear me complaining of your touch."

She saw through the show immediately and sighed, "I'm sorry, Killian, I didn't mean to upset you."

"No, love, I'm sorry. He ... I lied to you. And I'm a damn good liar. It's wise not to forget that."

"That's not why I do it," she said softly. They reached the boathouse and though the wind was dying down it was still cold. He opened the door for her, silently suggesting they escape from the wind for a while. He watched her curiously as she passed through, but she didn't speak.

"No?" he finally asked.

"No."

She didn't elaborate and he continued watching her. She turned away, embarrassed by his intense gaze, but he stopped her looping his fingers around her wrist. His fingers lingered for a moment and understanding dawned in his eyes.

"Tell me why."

"I like to feel it...it's warmth, your heartbeat... It reminds me that I didn't lose you. I thought..." She cut herself off feeling warmth in her cheeks.

His fingers tightened on her wrist and he smiled. "I'll tell you a secret, love." Emma's flush faded and she looked up at him. "Do you know why I always grab your wrist. Instead of your hand, for example?"

She shook her head.

"You almost lost your heart to the Dark One, love. My worst nightmares come to pass." He raised her wrist to his lips placing a lingering kiss there. "I can feel your pulse here, love," a light kiss indicated the point, "it gives me comfort when I feel it."

She smiled and leaned her head back exposing her neck. His eyebrows shot up and her smile widened. "There's an easier place to feel that," she commented, tone innocent but her eyes sparkled. Killian obliged, but instead of bringing his hand to her neck he dropped his lips to her pulse point nearly growling in appreciation when he could feel her heart speed up unevenly at his touch.

"That can't be healthy darling," he mumbled teasingly.

"Really?" she asked, "well just to be safe perhaps someone should monitor it for a while... Very very carefully... Try to ... Repeat the phenomenon?"

He groaned, kissing her deeply but suddenly she pulled away, reaching into her pocket and pulling out her phone.

"What are you doing, love?"

"Calling a professional, of course. There's a reason I have Dr. Whale on speed dial."

Killians eyes narrowed and he took the phone from her hand, "I suggest you show me how to terminate this call or I will be throwing it into the bay."

She saw him glance down at the phone as though a noise had caught his attention, and he brought the phone to his ear.

"Dr. Whale, do you have time for a consultation?"

Emma eyed the pirate carefully, _what is he doing?_

"It's the Swan girl, she seems to be experiencing some interesting conditional symptoms."

He paused for a moment and Emma tried to grab the phone, but he slipped away from her.

"Let's see, fluctuating bouts of arrhythmia and rapid heart rate... Flushed cheeks and dilated pupils..."

Emma made another grab for the phone but Killian was too fast. He jumped up on the side of one of the dry docked vessels staying just out of her reach.

"Is that so, interesting, and how would you suggest we resolve these symptoms?"

Emma's flush intensified and Killian grinned, "aye, Dr. Right away."

He tossed the phone back to Emma, dropping back to the floor of the boathouse. Emma immediately tried to end the call but when she checked her phone, it was already disconnected. She opened up her call history, the last call was indeed Dr. Whale... two seconds long.

"You..." she stuttered, "you..."

"I prefer dashing rapscallion?"

"I'm going to kill you."

"That would, indeed, mitigate your symptoms, love. They're such lovely symptoms though, that flush if yours is the perfect color to compliment your eyes-"

She stopped his stupid, beautiful words with a kiss.

Maybe later, she decided, I'll kill him later.

* * *

**AN: Was it worth the pain I put you through (Sorry. Also, that is a lie). Let me know what you think and I'll send you your bribe... I mean... bonus. :P**

**My next update will probably be based on one of the prompts you guys left me, but I'm thinking it may fit stylistically into my other fics "letters to home" If you want to see when that goes up, go and follow that story too! (See how I did that, clever right :P)**


	28. Worth Fighting For 1

****There is more to it than angst, I promise (pinky swear), but I should warn you...********This one is going to hurt. ****

******Scrop'Blues made me do it *points finger childishly* ****This is all your fault. ***Hate* (also love) *and more hate*********

****I know, ruins the surprise but I feel like I should give you fair warning before I hit you with a board full of rusty nails. Good form and all. ****(Fricken prompt ... I was going to leave poor Killian alone... I swear... It was all going to be rainbow kisses and unicorn stickers...)****

**Tragedy Angst Hurt/Comfort all that good stuff...but also something more ... if you survive the first chapter. **

* * *

**Worth** **Fighting For (1 of 3) **

He'd read about this once, after Milah died. The way the mind absorbs every single detail. The touch of Milah's fingers, gentle on his face; the precise moment they fell and the gasp of... someone that he didn't notice at the time. The way Liam's smile falters just before he falls. The way his hair, damp with tears, sticks awkwardly to his face.

Later you remember _everything_. And so it seems as though everything was moving slower. And you wonder, if you were just a little faster, a little stronger... a little smarter, could you have saved them?

He should have saved her.

* * *

Emma made him her new deputy nearly a year ago. Charming was too busy with the newborn. Well, he wasn't a newborn anymore. Neal was over a year old now and that little Royal had the entire town wrapped around his tiny fingers. The little lad called him Killy. Killy of all things, and he bloody melted every time the creature smiled at him. What is it with this family that he can't resist a single one of them. He couldn't quite pronounce Emma yet. It always came out a little like ma and it made Killian's heart flip whenever he heard it sending his mind to places it really wasn't safe to go, a place with a tiny dark-haired pirate princess with a mischievous glint in her emerald eyes. She always had her mothers eyes, eyes he could never say no to, and he would spoil her bloody rotten.

It was too soon to have that daydream. (It was too late to have that daydream) Emma was still a careful lass, and though they spent nearly every moment together she still sent him home to his own apartment next door at the end of every day, assuming she didn't accidentally fall asleep in his arms, which was happening more and more frequently these days.

They had dealt with a lot together in this past year and he would have never believed this latest arrival to storybrooke was any but one more mess for her to clean up. A prince from some distant land named Hans blew through town charming everyone in his wake. Everyone except Emma of course, though not for lack of trying and there was a time or two Emma had been forced to grab his arm to keep him from burying his hook in Hans' arrogant smirking face... (He should have, God he should have.)

No one knew where he came from, no one in the town knew him until Elsa and Anna returned from traveling to some distant land he couldn't easily pronounce. Then things had gotten chilly fast. Literally, unfortunately. A fierce snowstorm took over in the heat of summer and Emma was forced to seek out Elsa again to figure out what was the matter. It turns out this Hans was a villain from their land who had tried to kill them both. They thought he would be dealt with by his home country but he had escaped and apparently was seeking them out.

"I told you there was something wrong with him." Emma muttered as they left the two sisters home.

"Actually you told me, 'You can't stab someone in the face for flirting with me.*'" Killian corrected gently, hardly trying to hide his glee that this (obnoxious prick) prince was no good after all.

"Well, you still can't do that. He was just flirting, that was harmless."

"He proposed to you... twice...in the first day."

"So, you think stabbing him is an appropriate response?"

"Yes, entirely."

"My hero," she commented sarcastically, but Killian grabbed her wrist and spun her around, kissing her deeply.

Finally he said with a grin, "And don't you forget it, my love."

She laughed and pulled away but he didn't release her, muttering in her ear, "Not until you say it, love."

"I did, just yesterday."

"And I'll want to hear it again. And again and again, as long as I live. Tell me again."

Emma smiled, draping her arms over his shoulders and kissing him softly before whispering. "I love you, Killian Jones, don't worry, no 13th in line prince is going to steal me away from my pirate."

Killian grinned and released her and she gave him one more peck on the cheek before turning back towards the town. She waited until she had put a few feet of distance between them before she muttered, "Really he'd have to be at least 6th."

Before she knew it he had her pressed to a tree, kissing her mercilessly until she was out of breath and seeing stars.

"No one else, love," he mumbled in her ear before dropping lower to kiss her neck, "no one else."

"All right fine... 4th in line."

"First."

"Third."

"You drive a hard bargain, Miss Swan. Second, and he has to defeat me in a duel. That's my final offer."

Emma laughed, "we have an accord."

"Unless you'd prefer another arrangement?" he said, nervously rubbing that spot behind his ear which always sent a thrill into her stomach. He only did that when he was nervous, and when he was nervous it was usually fun for her.

"What arrangement?" she asked, smiling.

He bit his bottom lip gently before dropping to one knee in the snow. "This one, perhaps?"

Her jaw dropped slightly and she seemed unable to speak for a moment.

"I love you, Swan, and I wasn't lying when I said I wanted to hear you tell me you love me for the rest of my life." He produced a ring from his pocket and Emma's jaw dropped further.

"Did you steal that?" she asked hesitatingly.

"You think I would steal your engagement ring, that comes from your side of the family love..."

"Is this... a joke," she asked confusedly.

"Wouldn't be a very funny one."

"You're...you're serious."

"Never more so, love."

She simply stared at him for a moment longer and nerves began collecting in his stomach... was it too soon?

"Swan, are you really just going to leave me down here in the snow all day? I said I liked a challenge but-"

"Yes-" she said softly, apparently even surprising herself.

"Yes, you're going to leave me in the snow all day, or-"

She smiled and laughed and finally held out her hand to him, letting him slip the ring onto her finger. He did so and kissed it gently before standing and pulling her into his arms. "I love you, my Swan."

"Really, Princess?" A voice interrupted from behind them, "He's not even 13th in line!"

Killian pulled out his cutlass and Emma did the same, she still carried her gun, but she found she preferred sublethal force when possible. There were too many almost villains in this town these days.

Hans laughed, "I take it you've spoken to the sisters already, they've a really skewed version of the story I promise you. I was just on my way to speak to them and talk about it."

Emma lowered her weapon slightly and Hans smiled, "Thank you, Princess," he said stepping closer.

"I'm sure they told you that I tried to kill them, right, well perhaps you don't know them as well as you think. That woman's storm destroyed the crops in our land for years. The famine she caused took the lives of thousands of the citizens I swore to protect. She's not safe, Emma."

Emma was listening, blade lowered but not forgotten as Hans made his way closer. Killian remained tense watching Hans' every move with suspicion.

"They were families I knew, Emma. Children I used to see every day, frozen or starved by the dozens. She murdered them, Emma."

He was standing right in front of her now close enough that she could see a tear running down his cheek.

"Hans, she wasn't in control of her power then, If that's true then it is really tragic but-" she didn't get the chance to finish before Killian saw a muscle twitch and he knew what was going to happen. No swordsman worth their salt wouldn't recognize that telling twitch, but Emma was still more familiar with the weapons of this world. In an instant Killian pushed her to the side and raised his blade to block. Not quite fast enough. He deflected the blow but it sliced a gash in his side before Killian knocked it away.

The cut burned instantly and Killian found himself wondering if the blade was poisoned, but he hadn't long to dwell on the thought. His vision was going fuzzy and for a moment he saw double ... two Hanses...two Emmas ...then he took a deep breath and his vision seemed to clear. The slight delay had been enough though and Hans dove to where Emma was trying to recover another blade raised. She had dropped her own when Killian pushed her out of the way and now reached for her gun instead.

A moment later he heard a gun shot and Hans stumbled backward clutching his stomach. His attention was fixed on Hans until he heard a quiet groan from Emma.

Too slow.

She was too slow.

He was too slow.

Emma too was clasping her stomach, blood pooling with alarming rapidity beneath her. He dove to her side instantly, though he felt like his muscles were fighting to respond. The world still seemed a little blurry and his side burned horribly. It didn't matter now.

Emma was holding herself up on one arm, her other arm clutching her wound, but as he dropped next to her she collapsed into his arms. He supported her with his left arm, lowering her gently into his lap and trying to bind her wound with his scarf. If only he had two hands, he had never so deeply regretted the loss of his left hand as this moment. (If he had been faster...If he had been whole...) He finally got the scarf tied securely around her and turned back to her face. Her eyes were closed and she was already so pale.

"Swan, love, you're going to be ok." Her eyes opened and she raised a hand to his cheek. He grabbed her hand before she could touch him, because this can't happen again, not again.

"I love you, Killian..."

"Don't do that, love. Not like this, please, not like this."

"Killian..."

"No! Emma? Swan, please don't leave me alone." He tried to brush a strand of hair from her face but stopped before he could touch her, suddenly realizing his hand was covered in her blood.

"I'm sorry..." she whispered weakly. Where was the spark, the fire? (You couldn't handle it ... she was right.)

He lowered his lips to hers, true love's kiss right? That will make everything right? Her lips trembled under his as he kissed her lightly but there was no burst of energy, no sudden warming light. (A long shot but I had to try. I was hoping you felt as I did.) He pulled away and her eyes were closed again.

"Swan?" he whispered, "Don't go?"

She didn't answer him.

"EMMA!"

He pulled her closer, trying to control the shaking in his arms long enough to check her pulse. His fingers left a red mark on her pale skin as he searched for her heartbeat.

Nothing.

He must have been crying because he could see water falling onto her face and he didn't think it was raining. It was too cold for rain.

The pristine snow around them was gradually turning a deep red and somehow he felt like he was looking down on himself. Watching himself hold her tight, and beg her to come back though he couldn't hear the words anymore. He could hear voices from far away, and someone was coming into the clearing but he couldn't look away from her, couldn't let her go. This is the part where a sudden rush of magic fills the field and her eyes flicker open. She was toying with him, the minx, waiting until he was an absolute wreck before coming back to him.

"Bad form, Swan," he muttered, "stop it, love-"

He felt a hand on his shoulder and he shrugged it away, "Killian?"

Someone knelt next to him and tried to touch her but Killian pulled her away, tighter to himself and away from the invader. They were persistent, they shook him and muddled words reached his mind (Let me help her, Killian, let go. Let me help her.) He stopped trying to guard her with himself and a hand flashed into his vision reaching for her neck. For the spot of red he had placed there. Then the person pulled away and Killian pulled Emma closer to him again, clasping her to his chest as the snow intensified. It was too cold, he had to keep her warm.

It wasn't until someone cried out her name that he finally looked up again, and he saw Snow at the edge of the clearing, she collapsed when Dr. Whale said something to her. Dr. Whale... he should be fixing her, Killian thought before realizing that had been the hand he had barely noticed earlier.

Snow's sobs were the only thing he could hear now and as he watched Charming sank down next to her, enfolding his wife in his arms.

Why the hell were they crying, (why was he crying) she'd come back. Just like on the deck of the Jolly... she'd have to come back.

Charming finally stood when Ruby arrived in the clearing, taking his place at Snow's side.

He walked toward them and dropped to the snow next to him. "Killian," his voice cracked. "Killian please, I need to see her."

He glanced up at Charming in confusion, somehow failing to understand what he was saying.

She was right here, what did that even mean? Then he realized he was still holding Emma in his arms her limp body pressed tightly to his chest. His arms burned, his side ached, but he couldn't let her go.

"Killian," Charming begged again, "please? Let me see my daughter."

Slowly Killian released his grip. He held her loosely in his arms now, cringing at the awkward way her head fell back towards the ground. He couldn't put her down, not in the snow, it was too cold, she would freeze. He gently shifted his body, laying the Swan girl in her father's arms.

Tears flowed down Charming's cheeks and suddenly a horrible thought passed through his mind. _She's not coming back. __The hero types are crying... the there's always hope heroes are weeping._

Suddenly his attention drifted to the treeline where another body had lain. Hans. He picked up his sword and advanced on him but Whale stepped in front of him. Killian turned his blade on the Dr. backing him up a few steps to a tree. He was saying something and the words finally sank into his mind.

"Killian, stop it, Killian can you hear me?"

"Why didn't you fix her," he growled, voice dark and dangerous.

"She was already gone, Killian you know that." The Dr was still talking but Killian was too far away to hear him, something about shock and hypothermia.

"Where is he," Killian growled.

"Hospital, she must have shot him before... but he's under lock and key Killian, he'll see justice for what he's done.

Killian walked past where Hans had lain, moving into the trees for a few paces before slamming his hook into a tree. It should have been Hans. Hans would have made such lovely anguished cries with his hook buried in his neck. He will see justice. He will scream. He will beg for death. He pulled the hook out then slammed it in again, the entire tree shaking with the force of the blow. He struck the tree over and over and finally he felt something warm breaking into the cold numbness. Blood was dripping down his forearm from his brace. He stared at it curiously...(Shouldn't it hurt? ...It's the same color as hers, why did that surprise him?)

"Killian?" A soft voice called from behind him. His heart leapt for joy, he knew it, he knew she was going to come back. He spun around but it wasn't her. Snow approached tentatively, tears still flowing from her eyes. "Killian, you're hurt too."

She came closer and a hand drifted over the wound in his side. "Let me-"

"I don't want help."

"Please Killian, please let me help you." Her voice cracked and she threw herself foreword into his arms, he awkwardly closed them around her trying to understand what had just happened.

"I'm sorry, Snow," he finally admitted, voice broken, lucidity slowly returning to him. "I was meant to protect her. I should have saved her. I'll fix this, I'll find someone who can save her, I'll trade myself for her, there has to be a way..."

"Killian there isn't, please just let me help you. I need to do something, ok."

Killian nodded and Snow led him back to the clearing. His eyes were drawn instantly back to her, still wrapped in her father's arms. He felt some nominal satisfaction that they wouldn't leave her alone, wouldn't let her get cold. Snow bandaged his side carefully and he loosened the hook for a moment so she could slide a piece of gauze underneath the brace.

"I have to go to the hospital."

"You can't do that, Killian."

"Oh just watch me."

"Killian... I saw the ring. I - Listen to me, do you really think that's what she would want?"

"Now we'll never know will we? And that's his fault. I will rip him to pieces, Snow, so many pieces they'll never find them all."

Killian's voice was like ice now and Snow's tears intensified. He turned away from the clearing intent on making his way to the hospital but something stopped him dead in his tracks. Henry was standing at the edge of the clearing face contorted in agony. Regina held his hand but he twisted trying to get away, finally he broke free and ran towards Emma. Killian intercepted him, picking him up and turning him away from the sight.

"Let me go, I have to see her, Let me go."

"Not like this Henry."

"Killian please, I have to-"

"You will, but not like this. She wouldn't want you to see her like this."

Henry's sobs replaced Snow's and now they were the only thing he could hear. The boy began to shiver and Killian put him down for a moment, wrapping his coat around him before picking him up again. He didn't put him down again until he reached Regina's car. Regina didn't speak, but her lips were terse and tight. She and Swan had not been on the best of terms lately but she loved her son, and she would never have wanted him to have to go through this. They followed the ambulance to the hospital where they were told they could see her once more. Killian felt nothing except Henry's hand in his, the lad had refused to let him go since they got in the car.

The closer they got to the hospital the more anger welled up in Killian's mind. Hans. Hans was going to die. In the most brutal way he could imagine and his mind was offering him some tantalizing options at the moment. (Sharks were too good for this scum...he couldn't watch the look of agony on his face with the sharks...) When they reached the hospital they all gathered in a waiting room. They should be waiting for someone to come out and say...it was a close thing, but she's going to be fine. Instead they were waiting for them to clean her... her body. So that her son could see her one last time. Sudden rage passed through him as he imagined Dr. Whale cleaning her body but when he tried to get up Snow grabbed his arm.

"He shouldn't touch her. None of them should touch her," he growled, "I should be in there, I should protect her."

Snow hugged him again, "the nurses will do it, Killian, she said softly, so softly he almost didn't hear her.

When the nurses finally said they could come back Regina handed Henry over to Snow. "You should go with him," she mumbled.

With Killian on one side and Snow on the other they made their way back. Charming followed closely. He hadn't spoken a word since the clearing.

Killian felt dread mounting in him with every step. This was it, if he saw this it was over, his life was over. One more murder, and then he was done (sated, replete, life's purpose ... destroyed).

Snow must have brought some of her clothes with her to the hospital because Emma was dressed in a clean dress when they finally saw her. It must have been Snow, if it were Emma's choice she'd be wearing her jeans and leather jacket.

Henry and Snow cried again but he and Charming were still. When Henry's tears finally dried up Snow led him out of the room and Charming approached the table. "I should have been there," he muttered, whether to himself his daughter or Killian was unclear. He took his daughters hand, brushing it lightly with his and noticing the ring on her finger.

"Did she smile?"

Killian glanced at him questioningly and David touched the ring once more. "When you asked her, did she smile?"

Killian closed his eyes, picturing the moment in perfect detail. "Radiantly, mate, most beautiful thing I've seen in four lifetimes and any world."

Charming smiled tightly. "You should have asked me."

Killian chuckled humorlessly, "I don't think she'd still have said yes if I'd asked you first. Besides, I figured you more or less gave Prince Charles your blessing."

"You would have made her happy... I'm glad you got to ask before-" he stopped and turned from the room unable to finish.

Killian was alone now and he finally forced himself to look down at her.

People say that they look like they are sleeping. It's not really true though. When Emma sleeps her eyes twitch and she smiles or frowns. She kicks and mumbles unintelligible things that he tries desperately to understand. It's not like this. He takes her hand gazing at the perfect fit of the ring on her finger. He had spent so long with his fingers laced through hers, it hadn't been hard to guess her size, then one night he had slipped the ring from his pocket while she slept and slid it onto her finger, just to be sure. It looked perfect there, so perfect he was tempted to leave it...

He had the sudden impulse to rip it from her finger. Because this isn't her anymore... He could take it and shove it down Hans' throat and watch him choke on it-

He takes a deep breath trying to calm his mind and instead kisses her hand and then her lips. It's all wrong. He sees the swan necklace around her neck and pulls it over her head, gently detangling her hair from around it. Pulling the pirate medallions with his hook, they break, scattering useless trinkets on the floor, and in their place he drops the Swan necklace. He could strangle Hans with it, he thought abruptly, make him gasp for air until he finally goes as cold as his Swan.

Clenching his hand he turns from the room walking determinately towards the wing of the hospital they had taken him to when he was injured. (Chills, darling.) It doesn't take long before he finds Hans.

He advances menacingly and a small piece of his mind is irritated that he's still asleep. He won't scream. Hook wants him to scream. Suddenly someone darts out in front of him. Henry?

"What are you doing here?" Killian asks, harsher than he meant to.

"Stopping you."

"Lad...He killed her. He destroyed her, I have to..."

"Don't Killian. I know you loved her, I know you wanted to be home with us. You can't be home with us if you kill him."

"She's gone Henry. This man destroyed my home, my heart."

Henry looked angry now. "Fine, you can abandon us if that will bring you peace but don't you dare kill him _for my mom. _If you kill him, you do it for yourself."

The boy stalked out of the room, fresh tears on his cheeks and Killian turned back towards the one who murdered his Swan.

He should be waking up soon, Killian thought, watching the man with a predatory gaze. He'd wake up soon...then he would scream.

* * *

**AN: Because I'm mad at Scorp' Blues for 'making' me do this, I'm going to stop here. Also because I totally want to cry right now. At least I made him happy before I utterly destroyed him, (does that make it better or worse?)**

**No more angst in the bonus scene, i promise, my heart can't take anymore anyway. As you may have noticed, I'm using * to remind myself where I was thinking about putting the bonus scene. This one is safely in the fluffy zone.**

******In all honesty I really do appreciate the prompt, it pushes me out of my comfort zone. I know it hurt guys but I really tried to do these characters as well as the complexity and confusion of grief justice. ************I just hope it didn't come off as cheap angst. I really did want it to feel real *leaves to go cry in a corner for a while*******


	29. Worth Fighting For 2

**You survived? And you're back for more? What's wrong with you people... (what's wrong with me?)**

**Without further ado:**

* * *

**Worth Fighting For 2/3**

She heard Killian pull out his cutlass beside her and she quickly did the same. This guy was a pain, but she hardly thought he was worth a bullet. She still carried her gun, but there were too many almost villains in this town to risk it sometimes.

Hans laughed, "I take it you've spoken to the sisters already, they've a really skewed version of the story I promise you. I was just on my way to speak to them and talk about it."

Emma lowered her weapon slightly and Hans smiled, "Thank you, Princess," he said stepping closer. She saw Killian tense next to her.

"I'm sure they told you that I tried to kill them, right, well perhaps you don't know them as well as you think. That woman's storm destroyed the crops in our land for years. The famine she caused took the lives of thousands of the citizens I swore to protect. She's not safe, Emma."

Emma was listening, blade lowered but not forgotten as Hans made his way closer. She couldn't tell if he was lying. Either she was having an off day or he was a really ... really good liar. Or perhaps he was telling the truth... it wouldn't be the first time the version of events she knew was very wrong. She glanced over at Killian who hadn't lowered his blade at all.

"They were families I knew, Emma, Children I used to see every day, frozen or starved by the dozens. She murdered them, Emma."

He was standing right in front of her now, close enough that she could see a tear running down his cheek. Damn it, she still couldn't tell...

"Hans, she wasn't in control of her power then, If that's true then it is tragic but-" she didn't get the chance to finish before suddenly Killian crashed into her knocking her to one side. She almost yelled at him but then she saw a flash of a silver blade in Hans' hand. That lying-

Killian wasn't fast enough. The blade sunk into his side and he cried out in anger and pain. He knocked the blade away from Hans, glancing down for a moment at his wound. Emma tried to right herself and go to his aid, but her attention was rapidly turned back to Hans who had already drawn another weapon. Killian had accidentally sent her blade flying when he pushed her out of the way of Hans' attack so now she reached for her gun as the blade raced towards her.

A gun shot echoed through the clearing and Hans stumbled backward clutching his stomach.

She was too slow. She should have known he was lying. Some superpower.

Killian lay collapsed, holding his wounded side.

Emma lept to her feet sparing only a glance to check that Hans was down too before she knelt by Killian. She pulled his hand away with gentle pressure, trying to see how bad the wound was. Physically it didn't look deep, though there was more blood than she was comfortable with... but his eyes were glazed over and he didn't look at her.

"Killian, hey Killian, my eyes are up here you pervert." She teased, trying to get his attention. He continued to stare blankly beyond her and she felt nervousness and nausea threatening to overtake her. She unwrapped his scarf from around his neck and tied it neatly and quickly around his wound to slow the bleeding.

"Killian, can you hear me? Come on Killian, look at me."

"Swan, Emma, love you're going to be ok," he muttered.

"Of course I'm going to be ok pirate," Emma retorted, relieved that he was finally speaking to her. "You're the one that lost in a duel to Mr. 13th in line over there," she said teasingly.

"Don't do that, love. Not like this, please, not like this," his voice was broken and small and Emma's eyebrows furrowed.

"Killian?"

"No!" He cried abruptly, "Emma? Swan, please don't leave me alone."

"Killian, what are you talking about, I'm right here. You're not alone... can you hear me?"

"Swan?" he whispered, "Don't go?"

"Killian, Killian, wake up." she shook him then suddenly flinched away when her name ripped itself from his lips in a tortured cry.

Tears were flowing down his cheeks but no matter how hard she shook him he wouldn't look at her, wouldn't snap out of his delusion.

She heard footsteps and David entered the clearing, "I heard a shot, what happened?"

"Bad form, Swan," Killian muttered, "stop it, love-"

Emma brushed his hair back gently as David knelt next to her. She quickly slipped the ring off her finger, not sure she could deal with that conversation at this particular moment.

"Hans, he attacked us." David picked up the phone and called Dr. Whale and Emma slipped the ring onto her Swan necklace while he checked on Hans. He handcuffed his hands just to be safe, but he was unconscious. David wrapped the mans wound with his scarf haphazardly before returning to Killian and Emma.

Charming carried Killian into Elsa and Anna's house where they quickly set up a spare room with all the medical supplies they could find.

They laid him down, but he didn't stop. He was still whispering to himself with tears running down his cheeks.

Emma turned to Elsa, "What is happening? Why isn't he snapping out of this?"

"Was Hans the one who cut him?" Elsa asked nervously.

"Yes, he.. attacked us..."

"It's magic from his kingdom. A poison of sorts."

"Of sorts? Is there a cure?" Emma pressed, wiping tears from Killian's face that were quickly replaced.

"Yes... kind of."

"I don't have time for this Elsa, how can I save him."

"You can't."

"What?"

"He can only save himself."

"What are you talking about?" Emma asked, starting to get irritated.

"It's a magical... coma of sorts. Made up of his deepest fears and greatest temptations. If he defeats them he wakes up. If he fails ... he dies."

"There must be something I can do."

Elsa shrugged, "I'm sorry Emma... most people don't wake up. It's the way it's designed. It's in his head, it knows exactly what will tempt him the most."

Elsa left as Emma took Killian's hand again.

"I'm sorry, Snow," he whispered, voice broken, "I was meant to protect her. I should have saved her. I'll fix this, I'll find someone who can save her, I'll trade myself for her, there has to be a way..."

"Killian I'm right here," she called to him, "Wake up, I'm right here."

Suddenly his grip tightened on her hand and his eyes flew open, though they didn't settle on her. They were cold and fiery at the same time and his voice was calm and hard, dangerous even.

"I have to go to the hospital...Oh just watch me."

"Killian, please don't do this to me." Emma whispered.

"Now we'll never know will we. And that's his fault. I will rip him to pieces, Snow, so many pieces they'll never find them all."

Emma was crying now too, of course this was his greatest temptation. His vengeance, and she already knew he couldn't resist it. He'd spent 300 years seeking it the first time around. Suddenly his eyes softened.

"Not like this Henry...not like this. She wouldn't want you to see her like this."

He fell silent and Dr. Whale came to bandage his wound and look him over for anything medically wrong. Emma explained what Elsa had told her and David nodded, giving her a kiss on the forehead. "I'll talk to Regina and Gold, maybe they can help?"

He was quiet for a while, though no one would mistake this for an easy sleep. His every muscle was tensed and rigid. He muttered to himself occasionally and she leaned close to hear his words. Some of it was nonsense. Mostly it was her name interspersed with apologies. Occasional tears slipped down his cheeks, and she wiped them away. He never responded to her touch.

"He shouldn't touch her." He finally cried out, startling Emma by it's abruptness, "None of them should touch her," he growled voice becoming dangerous and cold again, "I should be in there, I should protect her."

He fell still again but his face was angry and bitter.

"Killian, please stop it. Please, just come back to me," she entreated him, but he continued to mumble to himself. She kissed him and clasped his hand tighter; Brushed his hair back and whispered in his ear; "Stop this, Killian, you're better than this, you're different now."

"He killed her. He destroyed her, I have to..."

For a moment she thought he was talking to her and she continued. "Don't Killian, please don't. I know you love me. I know you want to be home... with us. You can't be home with us if you kill him."

"She's gone, Henry. This man destroyed my home, my heart."

Of course he couldn't hear her. She clenched his hand tightly voice angry, "Don't you dare Killian. Don't you dare abandon me. You selfish pirate. Don't you dare..."

Tears were falling from his eyes (and hers) again as she waited, jaw clenched. Killian was still talking to himself but she couldn't understand him anymore.

She lay her head down on his chest, repeating "please come back to me, please don't do it," over and over again until her voice was hoarse.

Finally he stopped whispering and she looked up. His eyelids were fluttering and hope sprang to life in her chest.

"Killian?"

His eyes shot open at the sound of her voice and he smiled, raising his hand to her cheek, "I never thought- after all I've done I never thought I'd get to see you again. Wherever you went, I was sure they wouldn't let me in."

Emma laughed in relief. "You're not dead, you stupid pirate!"

His eyes furrowed and he stared at her intently for a moment. "Swan... are you... are you really here?"

"Yes, I'm here."

"Oh, thank God," the words came out more a sigh then a whisper and he shot up grabbed her and pulled her down next to him, sighing into her neck. "God, Swan, you're here. You're still here."

"Everything is fine now, Killian."

He took her left hand and kissed it gently, a flicker of sadness in his eyes as he did so.

Did he remember? Did he remember asking her to marry him? He didn't say anything when he saw that she was no longer wearing the ring. Perhaps the experience had changed his mind. Maybe it was too much of a risk now... If that was what he wanted now she certainly couldn't hold him to it...

"A dream? It was all a dream?" He said, eyes confused and conflicted.

She continued, "Hans' blade, it was poisoned ... I don't really understand it...but it makes you live your worst nightmares and if you are overcome the poison overtakes you. But it's ok...you came back," she whispered.

"Always, love, until it's no longer my choice to make. Love? I... I don't know how I woke up, I let him get away with it."

"Who?"

"Hans, he killed you." He paused a moment, brushing his thumb across her jaw and up her cheek before continuing it's path into her hair where he tangled his fingers. "I let him get away with it. Just like I let the dark one get away with it. If I can't keep the people I love safe, and can't avenge them when they're stolen from me... "

"I'm still here, love." Emma whispered, enjoying the way his eyes lit up when she took on his preferred endearment.

"I didn't know that... and I still let him live."

"That's what brought you back to me, Killian. You won, I'm so proud of you."

He dropped his fingers from her face to her shoulder and they drifted down her arm as he considered her words. Finally they reached her left hand which he brought to his lips and kissed softly. She ached with the loss of that which had rested there so briefly. She would have to return the ring to his room at Granny's since he didn't seem to remember giving it to her.

"I hate magic." Killian finally mumbled into her palm and Emma laughed.

"At the moment I agree with you," Emma said with a sigh. "What made you stop? What made you give up your vengeance?"

"Your lad, gave me a right good scolding. Told me that he knew I wanted to be home with you and that..."

"You can't be home with us if you kill him." Emma finished in surprise.

Killian raised his eyebrows. "Is this another family motto I should be aware of?"

"No I... That's what I said. I didn't think you could hear me."

Killian nuzzled her neck his fingers playing with her swan necklace, remembering in too vivid detail taking it from her still form and placing it around his own neck. Tugging at it lightly he gasped. She glanced down and realized that he had pulled it loose of her shirt and the ring was now visible.

"You don't have to... I was going to give it back since-"

"I'll take that, Swan," he said seriously and her face fell as she took the ring from her necklace and handed it back to him.

"That's not where it goes," he whispered with a smile.

It was, after all, a perfect fit.*

* * *

**AN: *introduces plot device designed entirely to make the pain go away* ****TaDa! ... ****rainbow kisses and unicorn stickers *********sighs in relief***

****I know I've killed our favorite pirate off before but somehow I just can't bear to kill off Emma. (yet, no one is ever safe... just sayin' ... *insert evil laughter here*) ****

************Killing Killian off seems more ... humane...compared to putting our******** puppy pirate through watching another person he loves die. ****I just ... So couldn't do it.********

**********Thank God for fluffy bonus scenes or I don't think I would have gotten through that last chapter though. Yes, you can still review previous chapters to get your bribe/bonus scene. Do it, I love hearing what you guys think and I'm more than willing to bribe you for your thoughts! (Particularly when the bribe involves making something fluffy!)**********


	30. Worth Fighting For 3

**Ok, so many requests for extra details and fluffiness and it seemed a little much and a little too relevant to relegate to a bonus scene... and I kind of owe you for putting you through that first part :P So back in we go. I even changed the picture on this story so I could show you exactly what was in my mind when I described the ring :)**

* * *

**Worth Fighting For 3/3**

It was absurd really. He had just left her family behind mere hours before. The most probable course of fate was that he would never see her again. It was a ridiculous impulse but one he couldn't resist. (_Saw no reason to resist._) A way of ensuring he would keep his promise to her. Something to look at, touch every day so he would never forget. Though in all honesty he knew even if many more centuries tied him to this life he could never forget.

She'd kill him if she knew...but why the hell not, he thought bitterly, he'd never see her again anyway.

The blacksmith was one of the best, or so they said, but the shop wasn't busy. Just an older man and a boy, perhaps an apprentice?

"Can I help you?" The boy asked but Killian walked over to the master of the shop.

"You still good with your hands, craftsman?"

"Not too old to do my work just yet. What is it you want."

"Complex question, but from you I want this." He pulled a bit of rope from his pack and began to loop the rope in on itself. The smith watched carefully as Killian pulled and looped the rope into a knot. An infinity knot, to be precise. What looked to be two bands of rope, knotted around each other so as you follow the rope you move seamlessly from one strand to the other.

"And do you know your lady's size, sailor," the smith asked knowingly.

"Make it for me, for my smallest finger."

The smith nodded and Killian pulled a pendant from around his neck. It had been with him for as long as he could remember. A gift from his father on the eve of a voyage they'd never taken. Probably stollen, in retrospect. It was solid gold and he handed it to the smith.

"It will destroy the pendant, of course."

Killian nodded, "It's not a good memory anyway. Can you do it?"

"Come by when you're next in port, Sailor," the blacksmith responded and Killian winced.

"I'll be back in a week."

He left the shop short a pendant and much lighter for the transaction.

Not such an absurd idea after all. Killian mused slipping the ring off his necklace. It was strong, and beautiful, designed just as he requested. It had been too big for her, though not by much... There were certainly people in Storybrooke with the skill to shrink it slightly. It turned out finding someone who wouldn't immediately run off to tell the whole bloody town was the more pressing concern. He wasn't ready yet... She wasn't ready.

And yet, as he gazed down at the sleeping woman in his arms he realized he was ready. He had been ready since the moment that absurd impulse drove him into a blacksmith shop when he had no reason to suspect he'd ever make use of the thing. Longer, perhaps.

He twisted the glittering metal in his fingers, still amazed that such an unhappy memory could be turned into something so beautiful. Her hand was lying lightly on his chest as she slept and yet another absurd impulse came over him. Lifting her hand slowly he slipped the ring onto her finger. His guess had been good, it fit like it was always meant to be there. Perhaps it was.

He stared at the golden gleam on her finger and suddenly remembered watching the look of amazed realization flash over Charming's features when he saw the ring on Snow's finger. Perhaps the royals story was not so absurd as he once thought... He almost didn't want to take it off. It looked so perfect there...

She turned her head, muttering something in her sleep and it broke him from his reverie. He pulled the ring from her finger and slipped it back onto his necklace before she woke and murdered him for his presumption.

* * *

Killian pulled himself from his thoughts. Lingering there in that moment would break him. He couldn't break yet, he wasn't done. (_I'm not done, she'd said before a curse ripped her away from him the first time..._) He wasn't done, but he would be, soon.

Killian pulled the IV out of the unconscious Hans' arm. He remembered the numbing painkiller it dispensed from his own visit to this infirmary. Numb was not what he wanted for Hans at this particular moment. Henry had run off a few minutes ago and in all honesty Killian was amazed that he hadn't come back with the Royals or Archie or some other hero type who still had a conscience. No one had stopped him on the way in either. It's like they wanted him to dispose of the scum for them.

He considered the idea for a moment. That would certainly make it easier on everyone else. The Royals could keep their hands clean. Didn't sound like them but the man killed their daughter. He'd enough agony in his own mind without trying to put himself in their shoes... He leaned against the wall, waiting for the man to wake. He wanted him to feel it. Wanted him to know that every last agonizing sensation was for her.

_Please don't do it_

He could practically hear her asking him not to do it. But she wasn't really here, not anymore.

Speaking of which... Hans groaned. _Oh you've no idea, Hans._ The mans eye's opened and Killian made sure he was the first (_and last_) thing he would see. Hans jumped, then a smile crept over his face, "You survived, did you, pirate?"

"No. You won't either."

Hans laughed, "She's dead then, E-"

Killian struck instantly, his hook digging into the mans forehead. "Do not say her name," Killian warned.

"I've never killed a Princess before," Hans seemed utterly unconcerned by Hook's attack, "usually they have someone to protect t -mmph."

Hook winced, shaking out his hand and wondering if the blow would leave an impression of his rings on the mans face.

"Do you have a death wish?" Hook mused darkly, as Hans rubbed his jaw, "If so this gets slightly less fun for me."

"No, I just know the last time you went on a vengeance kick it took you 300 years to... you know... not kill your enemy. I'm feeling pretty secure."

Hook pulled back his left arm to strike but a small voice interrupted him.

_Please come back to me. _

He let his arm fall, turning around.

Henry had appeared in the doorway again.

"Please don't do it, please? Killian?"

"Henry you need to leave."

"Please don't do it."

"Lad, I mean it, get out of here."

"Please don't do it."

Hook sighed.

Hans laughed as Killian walked over to the boy and dropped down in front of him.

"What else am I going to do, Henry? What else am I good for now?"

"Please don't do it," Henry repeated and Killian wiped tears from the boy's cheeks.

"All right lad, I'm sorry, please don't cry."

Henry smiled slightly, "I'm going to go get my grandparents."

Henry left the room and Killian turned back to Hans. He ran his hand along the curve of the hook as he watched the smirking man.

Henry's words echoed in his head 'If you kill him you do it for yourself.'

Emma wouldn't want this, it wouldn't bring her back if he sank his hook into the mans skull. All it would do is make Emma somewhere...wherever she was... cringe. Make her wonder if he'd really changed at all.

"God, I want to destroy you." Killian mumbled. "Do you know how long a man can scream before his voice gives out?" he asked the Prince, when the man didn't respond Killian smiled darkly, "I do."

He could still do it. Henry was gone, he could plunge his hook through the man's heart right now and Hans would be long gone before Henry and the Royals arrived.

"Fortunately for you the lad's right. It wouldn't be for her, that would be for me." The prince opened his mouth to respond but Hook punched him again, hard enough this time to knock the man out cold again. _Better now,_ Hook thought, _every time he opens his mouth I just want to shove something sharp down his throat._

Killian retreated to the other side of the room, placing the chair intended for visitors between himself and Hans. He clasped the chair back tightly, as though he could physically hold himself away from her murderer.

He couldn't do this.

He couldn't let Hans get away with this.

It would be so easy. A hook through the heart, a blade through his throat.

Henry would return here eventually...something cleaner perhaps.

He was unconscious. One hand over his mouth and nose, a hard blow to the trachea... and he would pay for it, pay for what he'd done ... Or the dreamshade... A tiny scratch. Just one little scratch and he'd get the painful end he deserved.

His fingers dug into the chair back.

_Please come back to me, _ echoed in his mind.

"Damn it, Swan," he muttered. Then he ran through the hallways that had led him there. Back to her, even though it wasn't her. He burst through the door. She was still there... she was still gone. A nurse was standing at a computer on the other side of the room and she looked at him curiously, but before she could speak he muttered in a low growl, "Get out."

He could practically hear Emma's voice in his mind berating him for being rude. Was this what it was like to go crazy? It wasn't so bad. Crazy wasn't so bad if he could keep hearing her voice.

"Please...Please, leave me with her."

The nurse simply nodded, slipping out the door behind him without a word. The door clicked behind her and silence descended. He sank down the wall next to the door, eyes fixed on her but unable to bring himself to get any closer. He sat so long that eventually the lights dimmed around him. (_Emma had laughed so hard the first time he had been startled by motion sensitive lights.*_) He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall, not even bothering to trigger the lights again.

When he opened his eyes again he was lying on his back a pressure on his chest and it was bright again. Had someone moved him? He blinked his eyes rapidly then closed them again against the light.

"Killian?"

His eyes shot open and he saw her. She was leaning over him and she was very much alive. He smiled. He'd not thought it was possible to die of a broken heart but mercifully it seemed he was wrong. He lifted his hand to her cheek. Her skin was warm, so warm.

"I never thought- after all I've done I never thought I'd get to see you again. Wherever you went, I was sure they wouldn't let me in."

Emma laughed, "You're not dead, you stupid pirate!"

He watched her carefully for a moment trying to understand what she was telling him. She was dead and she was here...what other explanation could there be?

"Swan... are you... are you really here?"

"Yes, I'm here."

Suddenly his mind cleared, she was alive? Somehow, she was alive, and she was here.."Oh, thank God," he sighed and reached up to pull her into him. The warmth of her skin the soft brush of her hair... "God, Swan, you're here. You're still here."

"Everything is fine now, Killian."

He took her left hand and kissed it gently, the ring was gone. Why was the ring gone? "A dream? It was all a dream?" He asked, trying to make sense of it.

She explained to him about the blade and the poison and his relief dimmed slightly. It was a dream? She didn't really say yes?

"it's ok...you came back," she whispered.

How, how had he come back? He hadn't won, Hans had won.

"Always, love, until it's no longer my choice to make. Love? I... I don't know how I woke up, I let him get away with it."

"Who?"

He explained to her the nature of his dream while brushing his thumb across her face lightly, reveling in the sensation of touching her again. He had failed and yet-

"I'm still here, love." Emma whispered, and he couldn't help but smile. The word sounded delicious from her lips.

"I didn't know that... and I still let him live," Killian admitted.

"That's what brought you back to me, Killian. You won, I'm so proud of you."

He considered her words. If he had killed Hans he couldn't have come back? He traced his fingers down her arm and interlaced his hand with hers. He brought their joined hands to his lips and kissed her finger again, the finger that should have been adorned with gold. But she was alive...there was still time.

"I hate magic." Killian finally mumbled and Emma laughed.

"At the moment I agree with you," Emma said with a sigh. "What made you stop? What made you give up your vengeance?"

"Your lad, gave me a right good scolding. Told me that he knew I wanted to be home with you and that..."

"You can't be home with us if you kill him." Emma finished.

Killian raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Is this another family motto I should be aware of?"

"No I... That's what I said. I didn't think you could hear me."

Killian nuzzled her neck. Of course she had been the one to bring him home. It really shouldn't have surprised him. His fingers drifted to her Swan necklace, still around her neck, still where it was supposed to be. He pulled it out gently to look at the charm but when he did so he gasped. A bright golden ring accompanied the swan charm. Emma stiffened next to him as he stared at it and began to stutter.

"You don't have to... I was going to give it back since-"

"I'll take that, Swan," he said and she slipped it off the chain. She looked crestfallen and he smiled.

"That's not where it goes," he whispered.

Emma sighed in relief as he slipped the ring back onto her finger, "I wasn't sure you remembered, I thought you might have changed your mind."

"Nothing could change my mind, Emma-" he broke off when he heard David's voice outside. Emma sat up and turned towards the door.

David reentered the house and paused in the doorway when he saw Killian and relief consumed his face. "You're a hard man to kill, pirate."

"It's a talent. You know you'd miss me."

"Actually I'm just relieved I didn't have to be the one to tell Emma that there was nothing Regina or Gold could do."

"Keep telling yourself that, mate," Killian taunted and Emma sat up rapidly. "I have to go" she said, slipping on her gloves quickly. "I believe I've got a hospital visit to make."

Killian sat up and stretched out, Emma tried to push him back down again but he resisted. "After what I just lived through do you really think I'm letting you out of my sight."

"I'd despair if you did" she teased, then checked his bandages. The bleeding had stopped so she helped him to his feet.

* * *

Hans was in recovery by the time they arrived (and Killian moped that he thought he was the only one she chained to hospital beds.) They hadn't stayed long he was still unconscious and thus was not inclined to answer any questions, so they relocated to Granny's to wait. Emma still wore her gloves. When they got to Granny's she finally removed them, but then immediately put her hand under the table to take his. He raised his eyebrows at her but said nothing. They ate dinner quickly and before long in a lull of the conversation Emma began to shift uncomfortably and Killian squeezed her hand under the table.

"So..." she started and her parents looked up at her, "I wanted to-"

At that precise moment her phone rang and Emma quieted, picking it up. When she put it down she sighed and put her gloves back on under the table, "That was Dr. Whale, we have to go, our prisoner is finally awake."

"What were you saying, Emma?" Mary Margaret asked as she and Killian turned to leave.

"Never mind, later," Emma said lightly, slipping back out into the cold.

"Are you waiting for me to ask their permission, Swan" Killian teased and Emma laughed.

"No...I'm just waiting for the right time. And we have a prince to interrogate."

"Looking forward to it."

The right time never seemed to come though. Everytime she started to bring it up Killian would glance up hopefully and then her phone would ring, or someone would come bursting into the room with some crisis that required the sheriffs immediate attention. The weather was starting to warm again and she wasn't going to be able to hide it forever.

Finally one day he caught her hand as they left Granny's (after yet another unsuccessful attempt at breaking the news, this time Leroy had come running in for some reason or another and Killian was starting to wonder if she was not ready after all.

"You can't hide it forever, Swan," he commented with a sigh.

"I'm not hiding it, it just...isn't the right time to tell them."

"Love, if you're not ready I'm in no hurry. Wear it on your necklace for a while, I'll be content just knowing you have it."

"No that's not it, I just-"

"Is it the ring? I know gemstones are traditional in this world... but this one... it felt right-"

She spun to him immediately and kissed him. "I am ready, and I love the ring. It's beautiful and absolutely perfect for me... for us. I'm just trying to find-"

"The right time, all right love, but people are going to start thinking I'm having left hand envy if you keep hiding yours."

Emma laughed and they went off to save the world. Or at least the florists shop.

They had dinner at her parents that night and Killian hoped that finally she would be able to tell them. Sometime between the salad and the entree (the royals always did insist on serving dinner properly, in courses) Emma finally spoke up. No sooner had she done so there was a pounding on the door. Killian rolled his eyes in exasperation. Then he abruptly stood and stalked towards the door. Throwing it open and drawing his cutless he leveled it at Leroy.

"Is the town in imminent danger of destruction?" He asked.

"No, but-"

"Then come back in 15 minutes," he said, slamming the door closed in Leroy's face.

"You were saying, love?"

Emma smiled and finally pulled her hand up onto the table, "Killian and I...We're going to get married."

Mary Margaret smiled and stood to go hug her daughter, "congratulations, Emma."

"Why don't you look surprised?"

"Oh Emma, You've been hiding your hand for days, did you really think we wouldn't notice. But we're happy you finally told us."

While Emma and Mary Margaret talked Charming took Killian aside. "Did she smile when you ask her or just punch you for taking so long."

A flash of pain in Killian's gut accompanied the familiar words but he just smiled.

"Radiantly mate, most beautiful thing I've seen in all my life." The words were still true even if hearing them again did make his stomach clench uncomfortably.

"You'll make her happy, I'm glad you asked, but you really should have asked me first."

"Do you really think she'd have said yes if I'd asked you first?"

Charming laughed, "probably not."

"Congratulations, Killian, you've come a long way. I was wrong about you."

"I was right about you though, you really can be a stubborn ass."

"Aren't you supposed to be sucking up to me for my blessing?"

Killian glanced sideways to wear Emma was practically beaming with happiness talking with her mother. She glanced up at him when she felt his gaze on her and her smile only brightened."

"Nah, mate, you couldn't deny her a single bloody thing she wants, any more than I can."

Charming smiled. "Well fortunately for you Killian I already gave Charles my blessing, I suppose it still holds."

Finally Mary Margaret stood and ushered everyone back to the table before the food got cold. Leroy arrived back at the door a few minutes later to announce that the flying monkey one of the dwarves thought he had seen turned out to be a hawk.

("Yeah, easy mistake to make," Killian mocked.)

Leroy was distracted though, by a small gold band now obvious on Emma's finger. As he left Killian turned to Emma, "I hope you're ready for the whole town to know because in approximately 3 minutes all of Granny's is going to find out."

Emma just laughed but as expected exactly 3 minutes later she got a text.

_Does this mean you're going to stop having eye-sex across the diner?_

_~Ruby~_

Emma laughed and turned the phone towards Killian. He grabbed it and punched a quick response. Emma raised her eyebrows, "Since when do you know how to text."

"Henry taught me, in return for showing him how to use a sextant."

Emma grabbed her phone back and glanced down at the unsent text.

_Not at all, love. You might as well close the diner when we walk in. _

Emma smirked and hit send.

Killian choked on his drink and muttered minx under his breath.

"What was that?" Charming asked.

"Magnificent... The lasagna, really I'm surprised Granny's is still in business."


	31. Sleep Tight

_**Prompt by **Scorp' Blues: __Killian and Emma just can't sleep without the other one by their side but they definitly are not together (yet and Emma's so stubborn she didn't know what to do to ask him to stay for her to fall asleep. So she didn't sleep at all, playing chess/talking whatever with him, and she's beginning to drift off during her day job ..._

* * *

"It is getting late, Swan, we've been at this for hours ... don't you ever tire?"

"Sleep is for the weak, or are you afraid you can't handle it after all?" His eyebrows shoot up at the teasing half smile she is taunting him with. "Are you afraid of the endgame, pirate?"

"If either of us is afraid of the endgame, I don't think it's me."

"I've got checkmate in four moves, and you just want to steal that away from me?"

"Not if I take your other bishop too."

"…Oh…Damn..."

"Indeed, Love, your father did insist I not keep you up late. While, granted, this is not likely what he had in mind…"

"Oh, you are not getting out of this that easy," Emma retorted. If she were willing to admit it he had her in quite the bind now, but still she searched the board for her exit strategy.

"I don't mean to upset you, Emma, but I've had a lot of time to practice."

"Really? This is what you do late at night on a pirate ship?"

"Most nights were not spent in port, card games are a terrible idea so…"

"Why, I'd think gambling would be rampant."

"Not on my ship."

"Because?"

"Pirates cheat at cards, love, it's a given. Cheating leads to fighting and that's no way to run a tight crew."

"So you played chess? Wouldn't the pieces fly everywhere?"

"Actually we didn't use pieces. Some of the boys used to write it on paper, but I never needed to. I've a very good memory."

Emma stared at Killian for a moment trying to spot the lie, but she didn't see it. "You're kidding?"

"Would you like a demonstration?"

Emma nodded and Killian turned his back on the board.

"Knight to E4," he said confidently and Emma moved the piece to its new position.

"King to E2," Emma retorted, of course he could remember a couple moves but...

"Rook to C2, check"

"King to D3, are you peaking?"

"How would I even do that, love? Also, rook to C3, check again."

Emma defended well for a while until Killian finally took her last pawn and one of his became a queen. At which point Emma finally let out a huff and claimed that she didn't know how he was cheating but that he was somehow.

Killian laughed and turned back towards her, "I told you love, I've had lots of time to practice."

"Fine, let's even the playing field. Let's play something you've never played before "

"I'm always up for a challenge, Swan, but ... "

Emma screwed up her face for a moment before jumping up. "Sorry!"

"For… anything in particular?"

"No, it's a game." She disappeared into Henry's room and reemerged with another game box.

"How about you tell me what's really going on here, Swan. It's nearly sunrise."

"Oh I … I don't really sleep anymore." She laughed nervously before pulling the board out. Killian dropped his hook onto the box, securing it to the table.

"You don't sleep?"

"Henry's been staying with Regina and...It's too ….quiet…I don't know."

His eyebrows furrowed as she tried to laugh of the declaration. "Swan, you have to sleep,"

"I know…I can't" Her shoulders sagged and he finally saw the exhaustion she'd been hiding so well.

"What if I … stayed," he suggested carefully.

"Yeah, sure Killian, how very gallant of you."

"Please Swan, just…lay down, I'll stay over here… talk to you about late nights on the sea until you are bored enough to sleep."

Emma looked at him suspiciously for a moment and he sighed, "What if I swear to be gone before you wake?"

Emma nodded and pulled her legs up onto the couch leaning over slightly, eyes still wide open.

"Did I ever tell you of the time the sky was so overcast for so long we were nearly lost in the vastness of the sea."

Emma smiled slightly and closed her eyes, "I thought you always knew where you were."

"With the stars to guide me, that's true, but a storm came through that lasted for a solid ten days straight. "

"I bet that gets longer every time you tell the story."

"Of course, darling, one day I hope to reach a solid 2 weeks in the telling of this tale."

Emma smiled and Killian continued, "It's unwise to tell your crew that you've lost your sighting so we sailed off course for days. It was unnerving. No starlight reflecting from the depths….the only light came from the glowing phosphorescence of the ocean's creatures and they became the closest thing we had to stars." He described the immensity of the ocean without light or direction, lilting voice rising and falling like the tides he described. Finally he paused, wondering if she was still awake.

"Would you like to know how we found our way back ashore, Emma?"

Emma hummed slightly and Killian lowered his voice before continuing. "Eventually I caught sight of a sea bird I knew was indigenous to a small population of islands. I followed that bird for 3 days. I came up with an excuse to stop each time the bird settled to rest on a tuft of seaweed. Ropes needed mending, sails needed patching, then the bird would take flight once more, and we would be off. Eventually...Emma….Emma?"

Killian leaned back in his chair for a few moments. He hadn't long before the sun rose. Emma would likely rise before her body had near enough of a respite. He stood and put away the chessboard before turning to leave. He paused and glanced back, looking around he didn't see a blanket, so instead he simply draped his coat over her legs and slipped from the room. Mere hours later he heard her door slam from his kitchen, just down the hall from her room in Granny's. He stood and opened his door and to his surprise found Emma hovering just outside.

"Killian…I … umm, thanks." She stammered, handing him his coat.

"Anytime, Swan."

Her eyes had dark circles under them but she smiled slightly as he took the jacket from her before turning and hurrying down the hallway.

That wasn't the last time a sleepy Emma would show up at his door in the wee hours of the morning, his jacket in hand and dark circles under her eyes. They stayed up late talking or playing games or talking about her cases…anything but sleep. She desperately needed sleep, he could see it in her eyes. Sometimes she would fall asleep on her couch with him mid-story and he would smile, drape his coat over her and slip out of the room again.* Then an hour later, perhaps two, she would show up at his door, sheepish smile and dark eyes, to give him his jacket and leave for work.

He knew she must be exhausted, because he was exhausted….and he could at least nap during the day if he wished. He found work with the fishing community. It wasn't his boat, but he could go out on his own during the early morning hours and sleep during the brightest part of the day. Sometimes he didn't even bother returning to port, just lowering the sea anchor and napping until late afternoon when he would begin his work again. It wasn't the life he was used to but it was on the water and he couldn't exactly return to piracy now.

When he knocked on her door that evening he was surprised to see Henry on the other side. That was somewhat unusual these days. Swan still spent time with her boy but he was living with Regina again. Henry was a smart boy and he knew that Regina was teetering on the brink. So he spent most of his time there, reminding her of why she had decided to be good.

"Sorry, lad, I thought you were still at Regina's, didn't mean to interrupt."

"No, you didn't, what are you doing here, I thought you'd already be with her?"

"Turns out now that I can't put my…skills to use I must actually work during the day."

"Oh… you mean you don't know, of course not. How could you… You should really get a cell phone Killian…"

"What are you talking about, lad," Killian asked, nervous now, "where's Emma?"

"Ok, listen, she's alive. She's fine. I just came to get a couple things to make her more-"

"Henry, please." Killian's voice took a warning tone, begging Henry to get to the point.

"There was… an accident. We're not really sure what happened. She's at the hospital."

"What kind of an accident, if she's fine why is she at the hospital?"

"It was a car accident, she slid off the road and hit a tree…they think maybe there was some ice or-"

"Henry we have to go-" Mary Margaret called from around a corner, stopping when she caught sight of Killian. "Oh, good, come on, let's go."

Killian felt like he was in a dream as Mary Margaret drove them to the hospital. A car accident? She traveled through time risking her own existence at every moment and came through fine… and now… a car accident. It just didn't make sense. His chest felt too tight and breathing seemed a real effort through the entire drive to the hospital and as Mary Margaret led them through the too white hallways. Finally a yell reached his ears and he breathed again.

"Damn it, I'm fine, let me the hell out of here."

"She's up." Mary Margaret commented with a smile as they entered the room.

Killian hung back in the doorway as Henry ran into the room to hug his mother. David was standing next to her with baby Neal and her mother settled down on the edge of the bed. Suddenly he felt out of place…but he needed to be here, needed to see her.

"Mom, really? You brought Henry….and Killian….it was just a little fender bender."

"You were unconscious when they found you, Emma, we were worried."

"Well I'm fine, and I'm sure as hell not staying here."

"Could you please watch your language around your brother," Snow chastised gently, ignoring Emma's huff of irritation as Whale slipped past Killian into the room.

Whale poked and prodded at Emma for a few minutes checking blood pressure and vital signs before eventually determining that she was indeed fine to go, but shouldn't drive for the rest of the day, just in case.

They drove her home and Killian still hovered on the outskirts of the group, not entirely certain how he fit into this scenario but still unwilling to leave. Finally Emma snapped, "I love you all, really I do, but you need to leave. I need to…you know…sleep and stuff." Henry gave her one last hug and suddenly the room was silent, Emma sitting on the couch and Killian leaning by the door watching her.

"Ice, Swan?"

"Yeah, apparently I-"

"Don't lie to me, please."

Emma fell silent for a moment and Killian finally moved, surprising her with his rapidity after being so still in the background until now. In a moment he sank down next to her on the couch. He placed one hand on her cheek, thumb drifting lightly across one of the cuts on her cheekbone.

"You fell asleep didn't you, love?" he murmured.

Her jaw set stubbornly but she didn't deny it.

"Swan, you need –"

"You think I don't know that. I know… I'm going, are you happy now?" She jumped to her feet and stalked back into her bedroom slamming the door closed behind her. Killian sat motionless for a moment before standing to follow her. He paused outside her door and knocked gently. "Swan?"

"What do you want?"

"Let me help."

He heard a sigh and decided to take it as permission, pushing the door in slowly. She was sitting on her bed legs drawn up with her chin on her knees.

He sat on the edge of the bed in front of her. "I could finish the story about the seabird we followed…or the time Smee mistook port for starboard and nearly ran us -"

She sighed again stretching out her legs then suddenly, before he realized what was happening she reached out and pulled him down next to her. He hesitated for a moment, waiting for her to change her mind but she just buried her head into his neck with a sigh of relief. Wrapping his arm around her he began to trace gentle patterns on her back as she finally relaxed.

She hummed contentedly before mumbling sleepily into his neck "Just … a one time..." but before she could finish the sentence she was asleep.

"Whatever you say, love."

He smiled. If there was one promise his Swan could not seem to keep...

Killian shifted slightly and reached over the sleeping woman to unclasp the hook from its brace. Dropping it next to the bed he tightened his grip on her with his left arm. The fingers of his good hand, as always, found their way to her hair brushing through it lightly. Eventually Killian drifted off too, finally content, knowing his Swan was safe in his arms.

* * *

**Thank you for the prompt, once more! As per usual these days, I'll write a little bonus scene for my reviewers to bribe you into telling me what you think! I love _constructive_ criticism too, in fact on several occasions my stories have been all the better for it! **

**Feeling the slow update blues? (sorry) Never fear, that means you have time to catch up on my other stories if you haven't already. :)**

**Tin Man (One shot - quite possibly one of my favorite stories I've written) s/10240033/1/Tin-Man : Zelena takes Hook's heart and tries to use him against Emma. Two parts comedy, one part angst. Can Zelena possibly hope to control a pirate determined that she not get her way. (_spoiler alert - he's not going to make it easy, hilarity ensues :P_) **

**Or if you need something a little longer to get you through the hiatus you can start one of my slightly longer stories ****l****ike slip knot ****(6 chaps, not too intimidating right?) s/10058676/1/Slip-Knot : How did Hook make the decision to back off even after promising to win Emma's heart? And now that he's done so, where do they go from here... Fills in what I consider to be a bit of a hole right after their return from Neverland and progresses through pan's curse! **


	32. Land Locked

**Thank you for the prompt **_SomethingNewDarling,_ **I've been wanting to do something like that for a while too just never quite decided exactly how.**

* * *

She saw him, though she didn't think he knew.

She and Henry's new apartment had a great view of the water. From her kitchen she could look over the docks as the multifaceted colors of dawn bathed the day in new light. The apartment was quiet but for the sound of the gulls that penetrated through the morning air. The first few mornings their racket woke her and she found it irritating, but before long she found that she liked these early morning hours.

She wouldn't normally have been awake, so she didn't even feel bad that she wasn't doing paperwork or some other productive task. She just made coffee, chocolate or tea and looked out over the water.

At first she didn't notice him, so still, her eyes were not drawn to his form on the shore. As the mornings grew colder, though, it must have become unpleasant to sit and he began to walk along the docks. Her first response (though she would never admit it out loud) was suspicion. He was leaving, making off in the early morning hours without even saying goodbye. She spilled her coffee in surprise but as she fumbled to clean up the mess she realized he wasn't making for any of the vessels. Instead, just wandering among them or along the waterside.

She thought about calling out to him but in the predawn light it didn't seem right. Perhaps he needed the hours of solitude as much as she did. So she kept her silence, drank her coffee and ignored it.

She made no mention of seeing him when he dropped by her apartment for breakfast several hours later (she had promised him chocolate chip pancakes, which somehow he had never managed to try at Granny's. The knock on the door came just as Henry was drawn out of his room by the smell of cooking and he detoured to the door swinging it wide.

"You're late, Killian. We were supposed to help!"

"Were we, lad? I was unaware," he looked concerned at his perceived tardiness and Emma laughed calling from the kitchen "you were supposed to, Henry, no delegating to our guests."

Henry grinned and ran into the kitchen, calling "this is going to be the best, can we have hot chocolate too?"

"With your chocolate chip pancakes?" Killian heard Emma respond as he followed Henry into the room.

"Why not?"

Emma laughed and Killian took his seat, "fine Henry, but don't tell Regina."

"It'll be our little secret... unless." Henry turned his eyes to Killian... "Can you keep a secret, Killian."

"If you are asking if I am capable of doing so the answer is most definitely yes," his blue eyes twinkled mischievously.

Emma sat down, placing the pancakes in the center of the table and the hot chocolate in front of Henry, sticking to coffee for herself and Killian. Henry was still watching Killian suspiciously and Killian shrugged, "Can't trust a pirate, Henry, what's in it for me!"

Henry moped for a second before his eyes brightened and he stole the plate of pancakes from the center of the table putting them in front of him. "I have the pancakes now. No one gets pancakes until they swear to secrecy."

Emma started, reaching across the table, "but I made them, don't I own the pancakes?"

"Not anymore!" Henry said pulling them farther away.

"He learns quickly," Killian commented to Emma who just rolled her eyes, "All right Henry, I swear on my honor that your beverage of choice will go with me to my watery grave."

Henry stayed suspicious and Killian looked affronted. "The word of a man of honor is not to be questioned, Henry. Once I've given you my word you can be confident it will be kept."

Henry smiled victoriously and returned the plate to the center of the table as Emma muttered "Great, you're turning my son into a pirate."

"Not at all love, he gets that from his mother."

"Confident...Eh? Killian... didn't you promise to take me sailing again sometime?"

Killian glanced away for the briefest moment and Emma winced, "Aye, I suppose I did, we'll have to commandeer a vessel for the task though."

The talk faded away as everyone dove into their pancakes, and Killian's evaluation of "bloody hell, this world grows more incredible each passing hour," nearly made Henry spit pancake onto the table with a start of laughter.

After Henry finished breakfast Killian stayed behind to help her clean up, a gesture which led to raised eyebrows on Emma's part.

"I'm quite skilled with the one hand, as I've told you many times, love." Emma probably would have believed him too, if he hadn't taken that particular moment to chip one of her plates.

"I've been meaning to give this stuff some character anyway," Emma laughed taking the plate from him, "I'm sorry, Killian."

"What, love, I'm the one that chipped the bl-"

"Not about that."

"You've nothing to be sorry for, lass, I promise you that."

Emma smiled as he leaned forward to kiss her lightly.

"Ew, that's my mom Killian." Henry said from the door.

"Indeed?" Killian replied not pulling away, "well then lad if you wish me to stay away I suppose you'll have to fight me for her!"

"Can I use a real Sword!?"

"Su-"

"That will be a NO," Emma interrupted and she could have sworn Killian was pouting too.

A knock on the door interrupted them, and Henry raced to the door where Charming was waiting for him.

"Gramps! Killian challenged me to a duel so you have to teach me how to fight."

Charming glanced up at Killian who raised his arms defensively, "I did no such thing! I'm fairly certain you challenged me."

Charming rolled his eyes glancing over at the table..."did you have chocolate chip pancakes?"

Emma tossed a leftover pancake to Charming who caught it and took a bite.

"Mary Margaret's been on a healthy food kick since she got pregnant..." he mumbled in explanation through bites of pancake.

"All right," Emma called, "Party's over I've got to get to the station!"

They dispersed, Henry leaving with Charming and Killian off to... whatever Killian did during the day. Emma glanced over her shoulder as she left the building... What did he do now..normally he'd be doing something on the Jolly Roger...cleaning or mending or drinking or reading... She suddenly wondered if Killian had lost all his books when he traded the Jolly Roger.

He must have.

He came to Storybrooke with her in her bug, no belongings at all. Except for what he had left at Granny's he'd left everything behind... She was used to living on the run but even she had a few precious things she'd brought with her in the trunk of her car. She tried not to dwell on the thought but it bothered her.

Finally she shoved the papers away from her desk and stood making for the bookshelf where she stored some of the books Regina had leant her on magic.

_Magic always has consequences _ a voice whispered in the back of her mind.

She spent hours engrossed in the books, one after another searching for something. Suddenly the door opened. She started looking up into startling blue eyes and hastily tried to cover the book with some papers. Whatever he had come to speak to her about was quickly forgotten as she clumsily tried to hide the book from him.

"What's got you so nervous Swan?" he asked, reaching his hand towards the book. She closed it abruptly.

"Nothing just some... umm you know... light reading."

"Didn't look light."

"It's not important, look, um, Killian I have to run an errand...I'll be back in a bit. Would you stay here, try not to destroy the station."

He nodded his assent confusion still in his eyes. "I'll be back... I just need...I'll be back."

The door slammed closed and his eyes drifted to her desk. He flipped open the book she had been reading. Skimming it briefly his eyebrows furrowed and he turned the pages rapidly. It was clearly one of Regina's books on Magic and some of the ...topic's of discussion looked quite... painful. He closed the book again glancing worriedly at the door.

Hours passed and Emma still hadn't returned. It was well past dark and despite his best efforts he was getting worried. Finally standing he left the sheriff's station, perhaps she had forgotten he was there? He tried her apartment then her parents'. When she wasn't there he checked Granny's and that too was fruitless. He finally ran into her, literally outside of the crocodile's stop. He wouldn't have even stopped there if he hadn't collided with Emma on her way out, several large volumes in her arms.

"Emma, love, what are you doing here."

"Just gathering information."

He glanced down at the book covers. "More magic," he muttered, "Swan magic always has a price remember...and it's practitioners sometimes forget how to live without it..."

"It's just one thing, Killian, I'm so close I think maybe..."

"Emma stop pacing and look at me! What's so important? What are you up to."

Emma looked torn for a moment before her eyes lit up with excitement. "Ok, Killian, listen, the way I see it there's a few options. The black fairy's wand can recreate any magic right. Well why not a portal. The last portal we made was a time portal...that wouldn't work, but perhaps I could control it. Or open the portal that sent everyone back to the Enchanted forrest in the first place. But then there's getting back, we'd have to find a magic bean..."

Killian was looking at her like she was crazy but she continued on "Or there's another possibility. There is power in the ashes of magical things, right, we've seen that before. So why not the Mad Hatters hat. It's dust but I have my own magic now. He thought I could make a magic hat portal before, maybe now I can. There's rules of course, same number in as out but who's to say two couldn't go in and two and a ship couldn't come out."

"Emma stop."

"Killian I can do this, I can figure it out. I just have to figure out how to-"

The end of the sentence was mumbled though, lost in his kiss.

"I don't want-" he started.

"I can do it, Killian. I know magic has consequences, but I can do it!"

"I don't want you to, love."

"You don't ... want me to?"

"I know you could do it, but I don't want you to."

"But... but Killian don't you want the Jolly Roger back? I've seen you out there on the docks, and when you talk to Henry about sailing... Killian, we could do it."

"I traded my ship for a magic bean, love, for you. Changing that would risk all I've gained since then. Besides...I made an arrangement. I'll not go back on my word."

"Oh.. I mean... of course. Bad form and all that... I feel like an idiot." Emma fell silent, a flush coloring her cheeks and Killian brushed it lightly with his fingertips.

"Thank you, my Swan."

"For what, for suggesting you trick your way out of a deal. Perhaps I'm more pirate than you are, Killian," Emma chuckled.

"For wanting to try, thank you."

Emma flushed darker but finally kissed him again, when she pulled away she sighed, "You must miss it so terribly, Killian. It was your home for so long... and when you talk about it it's just..."

"I miss her, I always will remember her fondly... but I don't need her anymore. I've found home now, Emma."

"How is it you always know just the right thing to say?"

"Well I had quite a bit of time to plan it. Had a whole speech prepared to explain how I traded the ship not for a bean but for hope... Or some such nonsense," He chuckled, eyes dancing. "And what actually came out..."

"Aye."

"Aye," he agreed. "New York was even better. I had an entire year to think about, in excrutiating detail, what I would say to you if I ever saw you again. Contingencies upon contingencies ... Even a whole tale of a less than thorough nature to account for your ... Altered memories.*"

"It took you a year to come up with 'an old friend'?" Emma teased with a grin.

"You opened the door and all I could think was Swan and how badly I wanted to kiss you."

"Killian?"

"Hmmm?"

"Shut up and kiss me."

"As you-"

* * *

**All that being said... I really want him to get the Jolly Roger back next season!**

**I'll probably play with an alternate point of view on the bonus scene...**Thanks for reading and thanks in advance to those of you that take the time to review. Means a lot :)****

**Have a good day everyone!**

**I'm putting the prompt below now instead of above so it's not serving as an abstract. I do suspect you had a more thorough attempt on Emma's part in mind but I went short and sweet on this one. Hope you still enjoyed it!**

_**SomethingNewDarling : I've had my eye out for a story that would focus on Emma actively pursuing getting the Jolly back for Killian. Even if she wasn't successful, it would just be nice to know she cared enough to try to pursue possible leads. ... I would just love to see a story where she was really being selfless. That's something I always associate with true love. :-)**_


	33. Fire and Brimstone

"Emma," Killian said suddenly, stopping in his tracks, "do you smell black powder?"

He turned towards the docks a moment before the explosion sent a shockwave through the town. Emma hardly had a moment to turn towards it before Killian pushed her to the ground.

"Cannon fire!" he cried "Emma gather the Royals, I'll meet you at the docks," and took off at a run.

"Killian wait!" Emma called.

"I'll be fine love, get out of here," he yelled over his shoulder, not slowing at all and in a moment he was out of sight.

Emma hesitated, pulling out her phone and punching a brief message before taking off after him.

"Killian!" she cried.

A loud screech and the smell of sulfur spread from the docks as she reached it, looking around for Killian, he was using the boathouse for cover, watching her in horror.

"SWAN! Bloody hell, SWAN," he sprinted towards her again, dragging her by the arm behind the boathouse. "Are you mad, Emma, at this range the shrapnel alone could cut you in two."

Another explosion sounded and Killian pressed Emma tight against the wall. When the noise subsided he leaned sideways around the wall to see what was going on, still holding Emma tightly in place. Emma watched his face as he cocked his head to one side, "that's... inefficient."

"Are you quite done, Killian," Emma said, "it's fireworks...you know for... oh never mind."

"Ah, of course... Henry mentioned...I hadn't..." he coughed and scratched that spot behind his ear sheepishly, "hadn't seem them up close before..."

Emma laughed, "and this has been another dashing rescue by Killian Jones!"

"Are you mocking me, Emma Swan?" Killian asked, turning to her in a show of irritation.

"Of course not," she wrapped her arms around his neck, "I assure you I am swept quite off my feet by your courage and gallantry."

"Not yet you're not," Killian muttered, dropping to scoop up her legs with his left arm.

Emma let out a surprised cry and held tighter around his neck as he picked her up into his arms. "Now... shall we go watch the fireworks?"

Emma responded only with a smile and a finger pointed out towards the docks where Robin and his men were releasing a variety of firecrackers from a boat. (Never waste a good excuse for explosives, they commented, when Henry told them of the tradition. Even Regina assisted from time to time with slightly more spectacular displays.) As they emerged, Killian carried her over to where Henry was sitting with her parents and little Neal (Even more adorable that usual with tiny headphones he kept trying to push away from his ears.)

Charming raised his eyebrows as Killian walked over with Emma in his arms, glancing down at his phone briefly... "and I quote, 'Killian's gone crazy, incoming.' what exactly is that supposed to mean, Emma?"

Emma grinned. "Don't worry dad, Killian saved me from the cannons."

Charming laughed and patted Killian on the back as he set Emma back on her feet. "Good work Killian, knew you'd keep her safe."

"Always, mate!" They settled down, Emma leaning contentedly against Killian to watch the show.

Another explosion of lights rocketed through the air, this one far too spectacular to be anything but magic. Sure enough when Emma glanced over at Regina she was smiling her hand raised to the sky.

Emma smiled too. She'd finally found them. The moments between the madness that made it feel like home.

* * *

**Leave me a review. I'm not even going to bribe you this time. Though I haven't forgotten I owe some of you a bonus scene from last chapter :) (It's just a fun little snippet, so no deleted scene on this one!) **

**However I will invoke _tangled_ style guilting... : "and it's also my birthday." ****Happy Forth of July everyone. For all my non-American readers ... you got fireworks and captain swan fluffiness out of the deal. No complaining!**


	34. Land Locked 2

**Land Locked Part 2**

**An experiment in fluff. Thought everyone could use a bit of a break! **

**This started out as the bonus scene I was sending out to my reviewers of the last couple chapters but before I knew it it took on a life of it's own. (lol)**

**So I went an entirely different direction with the bonus scene and this became part 2.**

* * *

He used to think it was the gentle rocking of the deck under his feet that calmed him, but that was gone. Sure, he could get on some random fishing boat, even take it out into this world's oceans but it wasn't right. They were too small, they moved too much, or were too front heavy... every vessel was different, felt different and none of the others felt right. Still he went to the docks every morning and he felt somehow more at peace here than anywhere else. Any other place save one.

He glanced up at the apartments overlooking the docks. She was in one of them._ Four up three over_ his mind supplied helpfully as he tore his gaze away.

Maybe it was the sounds. Each waterway sounded different, smelled different too. Most people just smelled salt... but every port was unique. A good sailer could be knocked over the head and carried halfway around the world, blindfolded and unconscious, and would still know where they were when they awoke. (Substitute rum for the blow on the head and he could vouch for the truthfulness of that theory personally...)

He'd been here every day since long before Swan had moved into the apartment nearby. He needed this time, alone by the water, but he found it comforting knowing that she was not far away. Still, the cold was intensifying each day. The winter had been waning gradually but now it returned with a vengeance. Finally it grew too cold to sit and he began to walk, back and forth along the docks gazing out over the water.

As he walked he heard a sound behind him and spun, hand on his cutlass. The intruder was a blue mug, steaming in the cold air. He frowned, he hadn't survived for 300 years by eating things that randomly popped into existence in front of him. Picking it up, he glanced up at her apartment window, pulling out his spyglass and shaking it open. As he raised it he saw Emma was standing in the window, looking out towards him with a smile. He closed the spyglass, raising the mug in a toast and bowing melodramatically before taking a sip. That would make her smile.(Might even make her laugh if she thought no one was looking.)

It was her favorite concoction, the heat of the spice adding to the warmth of the drink and soothing the cold that had begun to sink into him. As usual he brought out the flask, adding just a few drops. No kick this early in the morning, (even he had his limits) but the flavor was comforting. Besides, he knew it would make her smile when she tried a sip when he was done.

She would try it.

She always did.

Though apparently she didn't feel like waiting this time. He was interrupted mid sip when the mug vanished. It was gone for only a moment but when it returned, there was the smallest imprint of lipstick on the rim and it was steaming hot again. Killian laughed, picking it up. Every time the mug grew cool it disappeared for a moment, reappearing slightly lighter and hot again.

Sometimes it was chocolate, sometimes coffee. Sometimes it was tea, though some of them were too strange for his taste (no matter how good she said this... green tea was for you.)

The blue mug had long since been replaced (she overshot one morning, sending perfectly good coffee into the bay...) Her control was much better now, and she didn't need to set it on the ground in front of him. It would simply reappear exactly where it had vanished from. Now they used a green mug, it was much larger than the blue one had been. For two, she had said rapidly, a blush on her cheek, when she gave it to him. The empty mug disappeared and Killian continued pacing along the dock, a smile on his lips. There was no bitterness here. Not anymore, but pirate ship or not the sea would always be in his blood.

He was about to turn away from the docks when a paper fluttered to the ground in front of him.

He caught it as it fell. Somehow after all this time she still hadn't completely integrated the concept that all magic comes with a price, but her small efforts never seemed to have the consequences he'd once feared. He glanced down at the writing on the page.

_Please come home. I miss you. ~E_

He grinned pocketing the note as he turned back towards the apartment. She always signed her messages E... as though he wouldn't know who they were from.

_Home_. Reading the word still made a thrill shoot through him. Every time. He twisted the ring on his finger contemplatively. A new one. The one that meant more than the trinkets ever could. _Home_. He'd thought perhaps he'd get used to the idea after the wedding. Things were supposed to settle down, become dull and boring now, right. He chuckled to himself. Emma Swan... Jones now, either way she did not do boring.

There was always something. Some new chaos threatening to destroy the town. Emma had said for months before the wedding that wedding planning was a waste of time. 'Nothing goes as planned.' He'd been concerned at first, that she seemed so unenthusiastic about the affair. When he finally asked her she laughed. "As long as I am Emma Jones at the end and nothing is on fire, it will be the best day of my life."

He pushed open the door, taking the steps two at a time up to the forth floor. (Four up, three over.)

He slipped his key into the lock but before he could turn it the door opened. He stepped inside and immediately slipped his arms around her waist, kissing her as he kicked the door closed behind him.

"Eager this morning, Swan?" he teased.

"It's Jones now," she corrected, "Mom got me into a big white dress and there was a party after, remember?"

"Unceasingly," he murmured, "but you'll always be my Swan."

"Are you all right," Emma asked, "you were out there a long time today."

His eyebrows forrowed, "no longer than usual, why? Is something wrong?"

She shook her head, "No, just missed you."

"Careful, love, it'll go straight to my head if you continue to indulge my sentimental side."

"I think..." She paused, distracted as he nipped lightly at her neck. "I think it might just be the hormones." Hook froze, pausing his ministrations on her neck to glance up at her, confusion in his eyes. _Right, Pirate._ "I'm pregnant, Killian."

For a moment he didn't move, to be honest she couldn't even be sure he was still breathing. Finally his hand dropped lightly to her stomach. "How-"

Emma raised her eyebrows, "I didn't think I'd have to explain that part to you." She felt suddenly nervous."How do you know, love, you look the same to me."

"We have tests for that here."

"You're sure...We're going to have a child. I'm to be a father?"

Emma nodded and Killian's eyes lit up. Emma breathed a sigh of relief before his lips captured hers. His fingers danced through her hair and pulled her closer. When he finally pulled away though, she saw fear in his eyes.

"Have you seen a midwife yet, or Dr. Whale? Does it hurt? Do you need anything?"

Emma shook her head laughing but when Killian raised his hand back to her face it was trembling."Killian! I'm pregnant, not wounded."

"Right... you're a tough lass.. You'll be... Oh, Jello. Let me get you some jello." He pulled away abruptly making for the kitchen. There was a crashing noise as he looked for Jello they didn't have and then he fell silent. She followed him into the kitchen and when she turned the corner she found him facing away from her, clutching the counter with white knuckled fingers.

"Killian...What's wrong?" She came up behind him and wrapped her arms around him and he clasped her hands tightly to his chest.

"Nothing, nothing's wrong. Your mother... she's managed twice already too, right. You're a tough lass-"

Sudden realization dawned on her and she slipped around to face him, pushing her way between him and the counter. She raised her hands to cup his face. "Oh Killian I'm sorry, I didn't think... Killian it's safer now. I'm healthy and complications are rare here."

"How rare?" he asked, and Emma hesitated before finally smiling, "I'd say about a third as likely as getting eaten by a fire breathing dragon in this town?"

Killian frowned, trying to determine if that should make him feel better or worse. She kissed him before he could think about it too hard and his hand finally stopped shaking. "We're having a baby Killian."

A radient smile burst over his face and he pulled her close, clutching her to his chest and spinning her around, before quickly putting her down with a mumbled apology.

"I'm not made of glass!" She retorted.

He kissed her forehead, "Have you told Henry yet?"

"No... he'll be back from Regina's soon."

"Are you trying to tell me I'll have to be quick," he smirked.

There was a knock at the door and Emma shrugged, "not quick enough, pirate."

"You like it when I go slow," he teased.

"MOM! Hey MOM, I'm coming in!"

"Fine! No need to yell about it."

"Mary Margaret told me to make sure to announce myself and then mumbled something about tacos. As if I'm not old enough to know what that means." Henry rolled his eyes.

"Speaking of tacos," Emma started awkwardly.

"No way mom. Do you have any idea how many relatives I have in this town. I can only take so many taco talks."

Emma grinned and ruffled his hair, "Not what I was going to say, Henry, I was trying to tell you that you're going to have a little brother."

"Or sister," Killian finished.

Henry smiled, "about time."

Emma raised her eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

"I'd rather have a sibling old enough to play with. Not when I'm old.

"Old?" Emma said, "did you just call me old?"

Henry grinned, "older than me?" he corrected, "you are married to a centuries old geezer."

Killian shrugged, unperturbed, "lads got a point."

"Fine, see if I make you chocolate chip pancakes this morning!"'

Henry smiled and hugged Emma, "Don't worry mom, I'll be a good big brother, I'm going to look out for them."

Killian felt a clenching in his stomach and for the first time he noticed an echo of a long lost brother in Emma's son. When had Henry gotten so mature? Then the moment passed as Henry pulled away. "Celebration at Granny's? Since apparently I've blown my chance at chocolate for breakfast here!"

Emma nodded, "why don't you go pick up your grandparents and We'll meet you there?"

Henry left, and the moment the door closed behind him Killian's arms slipped around Emma once more from his spot sitting at the kitchen table. He pulled her into him, pressing his lips to her stomach, murmuring "what do you think about chocolate chip pancakes my little princess?"

"I think it's a boy." Emma corrected.

Killian glanced up, excitement in his eyes. "You're not even showing love, and you already know?"

"Not for sure, just a feeling."

Killian grinned and shook his head "No, I don't think so. I think our little pirate princess is going to be the death of us. With an adventurer's spirit and your tenacity...She'll worry us sick!"

"Maybe she'll be a well behaved little princess? Sometimes these things skip a generation."

Killian shook his head, a glimmer of mischief in his eyes, "Swan you have-"

Emma glared, "don't say it."

Killian's eyes twinkled with merriment. "You've got a little pirate in you!"

Emma rolled her eyes, and pulled Killian to his feet. He immediately put his hand behind her and with two steps pushed her back into the kitchen counter. He bent and suddenly she felt herself lifted up onto the counter and he pressed between her legs. "Want to try for twins?" He asked voice a low growl.

Emma laughed, "I don't think it works that way, Killian."

"That's probably lucky," he murmured into her ear, "I do only have the one hand." He kissed her deeply, "I love you, my Swan, my princess." He bent to kiss her stomach again "my princesses."

"I love you too Killian," Emma whispered. "We should go, Killian. If we don't hurry Henry's going to ruin our surprise!"

He helped her down from the counter, "You're going to be disappointed when it's a little boy," she teased as they walked out down the street.

"Not possible, love." He was still grinning like a fool and his smile was contagious. He squeezed her hand gently. "This was never... A pirate ship is no place for a child, love, in my old life I'd long given up hope... You've given me everything I thought I couldn't have, everything I no longer deserve. Swan I don't know how to be a father. I'm not even whole...but I swear I'll do everything in my power to give you both the life you deserve."

He reached to open the door for her but she stopped him abruptly, "this child is lucky to have you as a father, don't ever let me catch you thinking any differently!"

"Quite passionate, Swan," he replied. His voice was teasing but there was a warmth in his eyes now. He kissed her forehead lightly once more before they entered Granny's.

They were greeted by an explosion of sound, clapping and ... Balloons? When had there been time to get balloons?

Henry shrugged innocently and Mary Margaret tackled her, rambling quickly and Emma caught the words baby shower.

Emma sighed.

At least no one could insist she wear a corset now.

Emma glared at Henry over Snow's shoulder with a look that said 'you'll pay for this later,' but even she couldn't hide her smile.

* * *

**Holy Moley, that started so unpresumptuously and then. BOOM I had family feels. Now you do too...**

**Leave a review. Standard bribery rates apply!**


	35. Seeing Clearly

****(very) short and sweet based on **Nouqueret's prompt. ** Hope you like it!****

**Nouqueret : ****If you want another promt ( Killian vs. Modern World) Iwas re watching OUAT and young Emma wore glasses, which means Emma must now be wearing contacts... That for Killian must be like oh... He could find Emmas glasses and when he asks who do they belong too " because who ever it is must be as blind as a bat" well I leave the rest in your talented hands.**

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"You only had like three boxes Swan, why are they still sitting half destroyed in the middle of your kitchen table?"

It had been nearly a month since Henry and Emma had moved into their new apartment. And despite having very few belongings to pack almost all of them were half unpacked on her table still. She had been living out of those boxes, digging into them whenever she needed to find something leaving things scattered across the table most of the kitchen and part of the living room.

"Yeah... I've been busy."

"How can you think in here?"

"The same way as anywhere else," she said rolling her eyes.

She was digging through the boxes again looking for a file she had brought home before the move and needed to file back at the station.

Killian eyed the chaos suspiciously, "Is there a reason your dinnerware is perched on top of your ceiling fan? I generally find that high places are not the best storage for blades."

Emma glanced up and indeed a box of silverware was hanging precariously from her ceiling fan. "Oh, there it is," she commented, waving her hand and the box reappeared on the table. "I've been trying to put things away with magic...for practice but my aim is pretty terrible sometimes."

"Can I...assist you ..." Killian asked and Emma smiled at the odd air of formality that sometimes creeped into his tone.

"Sure, why not. Grab a box. I don't know where anything goes so your guess is as good as mine."

"What organizational scheme do you prefer?"

Emma looked up with a grin, "Killian Jones are you a neat freak?"

He pulled items from the box, sorting things that looked like kitchen implements from her ammunition with puzzlement on his face. "If that means I prefer order to chaos, then yes, I suppose that may well be. I learned military discipline before I learned to be a pirate - some things stuck. Besides, everything has it's place on a ship. Anything left out will likely be swallowed by the sea."

"Please," Emma said with a wave of her hand, "Have at it. As long as you tell me if you find that file, you can enforce whatever_ organizational scheme _you like," she said as she continued her search.

"Well, I generally prefer to store munitions where they can be accessed without digging through sharp blades." Emma glanced over and discovered that she had indeed put her extra ammunition underneath an extensive collection of old kitchen knives that Mary Margaret had given her.

"It's a deterrent?" Emma laughed.

"It is that," Killian called. By now Killian had sorted out everything that looked like it was used for cooking and was putting things away in her kitchen. To Emma's amusement, she noticed the toaster had somehow made it into the munitions pile rather than the kitchen pile.

Killian made his way back into the room and Emma watched out of the corner of her eye as Killian studied the toaster pressing the lever down repeatedly.

"Here, let me show you." Emma smiled and walked over to him, plugging it in. He watched the toaster and she watched him as the sides grew red hot. Killian's eyes widened and he turned to look at her concern and appreciation fighting for dominance in his eyes. "Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked.

"I know you are a tough lass... Even so I never thought you were the type to inflict torture."

Emma raised her eyebrows. "Perhaps military discipline is not so far from my mind as you thought," she said as seriously as she could manage.

Killian looked concerned for a moment but finally shrugged, "Should I put it with the munitions or in the bedroom."

She laughed, "I think I just learned something interesting about you Killian. Neither, it goes in the kitchen, you use it on bread... you know for making sandwiches."

A flicker of relief passed through his eyes and he made his way over to another box. "Between that and the number of blades in this house I was starting to fear for Henry's safety," he teased and Emma punched him lightly as she walked past, finally catching sight of the folder she was looking for.

"Ah! Here it-" she held it up and turned to Hook and stopped short. Perched on his nose was an old set of glasses, from long ago, she probably hadn't worn them since Boston... but somehow they had always ended up moving with her despite the contacts she'd been wearing for years.

He took them off and shook his head, blinking rapidly. "Whoever owns these spectacles must be missing them dearly, Swan. They must be near blind without them."

Emma flushed and grabbed them from his hands, "I am not."

"They're yours?" he raised his eyebrows, "in that case I suppose I should be grateful that every morning doesn't start the way that morning in New York started... Exactly how close do I have to be before you know who I am?" he teased, stepping forward.

"I can see just fine," she huffed, "and I wouldn't need them to know who you are. You smell like seasalt and rum and..." she drifted off her cheeks flaming "-and arrogance."

Killian grinned moving closer still. Sometimes Emma wondered if Killian had a grudge against personal space. "Sea salt and rum, eh love?"

"Killian?"

"Yes, Swan?"

"Don't make me use the toaster on you."

* * *

**Leave a review and for lots of giggles, check out "Once upon a ... wait, WTH was that" ( s/10547084/1/). Jointly written by Pascale d'Artagne and I. Published because it made me laugh too hard to keep to myself!**

**Also sorry about slow updates. Beka Cooper nostalgia was to blame at first but I've actually got a really important meeting in a couple weeks. Not allowed to procrastinate via short stories for a while! **


	36. O Captain! My Captain!

**I'm supposed to be off ff for a couple of weeks I promise I will get back to my lovely reviewers bonus scenes then.**

**RIP Robin Williams.**

**This just kind of happened. Somewhere I read that suicides go up after celebrity deaths. So this is partly a response to learning that and partly a response to rereading the poem by Walt Whitman this is titled after. If anyone who comes across this ever needs help please talk to someone or call 1-800-273-8255! Don't give up on the possibility of happily ever after! Killian made it through a few centuries waiting for his happily ever after. Let someone help you through today.**

* * *

The phone rang and went to voicemail. Killian's voicemail, from when Henry had taught him to use the phone.

_"Say Something!" _Her son's voice whispered.

_"What am I to say, lad?"_

_"You're recording a message." _

_"For Whom? I'd record a much different message for Emma than for her royal parents."_

_"No...it's for anyone that calls you when you're not around." _

_"Where would I be?"_

_"Knowing you... 2070, 1946 who knows?...__we'll re-record it but you can practice. Just say... Say You've reached The dread pirate jones, leave a message if you dare!"_

_"Doesn't that seem a touch melodramatic, lad."_

_"Oh come on say it. Say it like you mean it too! And say aaaaarrgh"_

Killian sighed and Emma heard him take a deep breath. The voice that followed was surprisingly intimidating "_You've reached the dread pirate jones," _Killian intoned in a low growl._ "Leave a message or walk the bloody plank."_

_T_here was a pause and Emma could practically see her son's glare and Killian sighed again_ "ARG" _he finished halfheartedly.

The message cut off with Henry laughing hysterically.

Emma smiled, wondering if Killian realized Henry had left that recording on his phone. The guy could hardly use the thing...probably not. A clump of butterflies fluttered in her stomach. She'd called him three times in the last two hours. Could he really have forgotten so quickly how to answer the phone? What if he was in trouble. He probably just misplaced the thing, she told herself firmly but that did nothing to calm her nerves.

"Screw this" Emma muttered, jumping up and making for the door of the sheriffs station. _ This is Storybrooke he's probably found another misunderstood villain trying to conquer the world. _

She locked up the station and headed back to her apartment. He'd been staying down the hall, but if she was being honest he lived in her apartment more than his own. His looked very much like a crash pad. A place to sleep. _For now,_ he'd told her with a smirk. When she'd left after breakfast this morning Killian had discovered her bookshelf and was perusing the few volumes curiously.

She took the steps two at a time dialing his number on her phone again. She could hear it ringing from outside her apartment. Shoving the door open she saw Killian almost exactly where she had left him. But he had sunk to the floor next to the bookshelf, a book open in his lap. His right hand was pressed tightly against the wall as though he had tried to steady himself there before giving up and sinking to the floor. Emma dropped her keys in the middle of the floor and hurried to his side.

"Killian?" she cried, kneeling next to him, "Killian, hey, are you hurt?"

He didn't move a muscle. His eyes were so intent upon the page that he didn't so much as glance at her until she reached out and touched him gently on his cheek. When she did he tensed grabbing her wrist in a white knuckled grip that made her wince. He released her arm as quickly as he had grabbed it looking confused, as though woken from a dream. Or a nightmare. The hand went instantly back to the wall as though to steady himself again.

"Sorry love," he said shakily, "didn't see you there."

"Didn't see me... Killian I called you? Remember Henry taught you to use the phone. You didn't pick up... I was worried."

"Didn't hear it." Her eyes drifted to the phone sitting just a few feet away on a table.

"Killian how long have you been sitting here... like this?"

He shrugged and Emma rocked back on her heels watching him carefully. His face was pale, and every muscle was tensed. Emma placed one hand on the book trying to pull it away, but his hooked arm pressed tight down on it. "Killian, please tell me what's wrong," she cocked her head, trying to determine what the book was that had so affected him. She managed to lift it slightly and realized it was a collection of poetry by Walt Whitman. She hadn't even read it herself, it was a prop from when she was tracking a bail jumper who happened to be a poetry snob. She had set herself up in a coffee shop with a short skirt an organic tea and this book. It had taken less than half an hour before the guy introduced himself.

"HOOK! look at me please?" Killian glanced up in surprise, "what is going on?"

"This... did you write this?"

Emma furrowed her eyebrows, "No, of course not... it's a collection of poems, for a job I had once..." She reached out her hand and he reluctantly gave up the volume. She slid it over to her own lap eyes drifting rapidly over the page.

_O Captain! My Captain! our fearful trip is done;  
__The ship has weather'd every rack, the prize we sought is won;  
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,  
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring:_

Ok, It was a poem about a ship... she glanced up at him confused. She'd heard this poem somewhere before, she thought she recalled but why Killian looked as though he'd seen a ghost was beyond her. She returned her gaze to the page and her eyes widened.

_ But O heart! heart! heart!  
__ O the bleeding drops of red,  
__ Where on the deck my Captain lies,  
__ Fallen cold and dead._

_O Captain! My Captain! rise up and hear the bells;  
Rise up—for you the flag is flung—for you the bugle trills;  
For you bouquets and ribbon'd wreaths—for you the shores a-crowding;  
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;_

_ Exult, O shores, and ring, O bells!  
__ But I, with mournful tread,  
__ Walk the deck my captain lies,  
__ Fallen cold and dead_

She closed the book with shaking hands "Killian, your captain, before you..." She already knew the answer but she trailed off.

"My captain. My brother," he said softly.

She didn't know what to say so she simply let the book fall from her fingers and leaned into him. Wrapping her arms around his chest she leaned her head on his shoulder. His left arm slipped around her waist and slowly, ever so slowly he released his grip on the wall and brought his right hand down to clasp her forearm.

"I was supposed to follow him... to the end of the world," he murmured, " I thought I might follow him, for some time the only reason I lived was to avenge him. To avenge him and then to follow him." His voice cracked and it sent a pang through Emma's heart. "That was always the plan...avenge them, and follow them- "

Emma didn't trust her voice so she just held him tighter drawing small circles on his back with one hand. She didn't know why she did it... Some vague memory of Regina's of soothing Henry after a nightmare. Finally she trusted herself to speak. "More people love you than you know, Killian, please don't talk like that-"

He shifted her closer into his grasp and turned to kiss her lightly. "You've no idea, love... no idea how long it's been since I've lived for anything but vengeance. If I'd known then, what I know now I'd never have considered giving up this chance."

Emma smiled slightly and Killian wiped away a tear she didn't realize was there. "I was the villain. I wasn't supposed to get a happy ending. But here you are." He smiled and kissed her again, "You are worth waiting for, Emma Swan, worth every day."

* * *

Moments like this I wish I could draw. If someone with more talent than me wanted to draw that scene I would be forever grateful, I want to see what it looks like.

Oh my goodness Cracks-in-the-glass on tumbler did a thing:go to her tumbler page and use this extension! _/image/96407883641_

If anyone else is working on something don't be discouraged. I'd look at a hundred and still be happy to see another :)


	37. Say Something

**_Darn it, procrastination is a bad bad thing. For me. I'm really not supposed to be on here. I'm supposed to be being an adult and doing adult things. I'm bad at adult-ing ok?_**

**_Inspired initially by the once upon a time Instagram group (oh yes, there is one) and a hauntingly beautiful cover of say something by Jasmine Thompson._**

* * *

Emma's heart raced, her palms were damp, her muscles tensed. He couldn't mean...

_I'm not ready._

"It's traditional to answer the question, love." Killian's voice is lighthearted but his eyes are full of nervousness. He's holding a ring. Where did he get a ring?

_Of course he's nervous he just asked ... Oh God, he just... M__arriage is for people who have their lives together, right? People like Snow White and Prince Charming. For grown-up, rational people. It's for people who want a white picket fence, _2 1/2 kids and a golden retriever._ Family photos on the wall, drawings on a refrigerator. I don't have any pictures to put up on a wall... __I don't even think I like golden retrievers! Who doesn't like golden retrievers?_

"I... Killian... I... can't talk about this."

"Swan, I love you. I spent a year apart from you and I never want to have to do that again. I want to marry you. I want to see you in a white dress and spend the rest of my life with you, maybe even..."

"Stop it. Killian don't, please-"

"Don't what, Emma. Don't love you? Is that what you want because it's a little bloody late!" He always wears his heart on his sleeve and she can see it breaking... but this is too much. Too fast. Too much.

_Why is he doing this to me? Things were fine. Normal. We were fine but it's not enough for him. Never enough._

Killian is reaching a hand towards her and suddenly Emma jumps up. She just needs to run, needs to escape. She can hear him saying something behind her but she blocks it out as she races for the door of Granny's.

_He wants more. He always wants more. What if I don't have anything more? Couldn't you just have let things be?_

The air in the street is brisk and she takes a deep breath as she stalks out of the diner. She's not sure where she's going. Away. Away until things make sense again. Until he stops chasing, stops pushing, stops needing...

"Swan, I'm sorry I didn't listen to you," she hears him behind her and walks faster. Needing to escape, fuming because he was trying to ruin everything. She was finally starting to think she could do this, could figure out how to be home... but now everything is ruined. She couldn't marry him. Couldn't be that person he needed...but now what? People don't just go on happily flirting over dinner after something like this.

"Emma, Sweetheart, listen to me - " He's just behind her now and finally close enough to grab her arm and turn her back towards him. He releases his grip as she turns and glares up at him as though facing down an enemy combatant. "We don't have to talk about this now, but please don't run away from me."

"Can't you just be happy for a moment?" she spat out, "Things were good, we were fine, why do you always have to push-"

"I push because I'm the only one that will!" He shot back, "You are not exactly pounding down my door to show me that you...that you- bloody hell Swan... that you anything."

"Anything? We've only been dating for a few months... but you know I... I care about you but-"

Suddenly he took a step forward, his left arm pressed her into him while his right hand pulled her into a crushing kiss. It was a contest... A play for dominance like Neverland, but for once he wasn't letting her lead. His touch was searing and hard; greedy and desperate and she pressed back. This she knew how to do. This was safe. She instinctively clenched his leather jacket around the middle, pulling him forward, as if there were any distance left to close.

Her hands slipped up and around his neck. She pulled herself up and into the kiss giving him the fire... the passion he wanted. Maybe it would be enough? She pushed herself onto her toes as his left arm crushed her even tighter. His hand buried itself in her hair, but this time it was more than just a caress. His grip was hard and he forced her head into the angle he needed, kissing her deeply, making her head spin and not giving her a single moment to think... She couldn't think, couldn't breathe, couldn't take control, could only feel.

Feel hard muscles and cold metal at her back, the tight grip on her chin, the heat of his lips, the chill of his rings, the need she could taste. Was it her need, or his? For a few precious moments she forgot to run. Her heart was pounding (or maybe that was his) and then just as suddenly he was gone.

He pulled away gasping for breath and leaving her chilled in the night air. He was watching her again, his heart in his eyes, waiting. Waiting for the answer she couldn't give him. As soon as he pulled away the panic returned, a clawing deep in her stomach telling her _no_.. she wasn't that girl in the white dress. She wasn't that girl who had everything together, she was just pretending. And now he was going to find out who she really was...

She took one step back then another, "I can't Killian-" Every step impaled him through the heart, she could see it in his eyes but she couldn't stop.

"We can talk about this another time, love, let me walk you home?"

"I don't want to talk about it later, Hook, I don't want to talk about it ever!" Emma lashed out, her temper flaring up again, (_too much, too much, too much_) "I just need... some space... "

This time he took a step back and she instantly regretted it... _not like that. Not that kind of space._ "If you still want to walk me home though..." she started but Killian just closed his eyes.

"You've just rejected my proposal of marriage, love," he smiled that little self-deprecating smile that made her heart ache. "I think perhaps, I'm going to need a little space as well."

"Are you still... I mean Henry..."

"Chocolate chip pancakes in the morning, love, as promised."

He turned and walked away, away from Granny's, away from her, away from the town, back towards a harbor with no pirate ship. When she got back to her parents' apartment Mary Margaret immediately went into the kitchen

"...this looks like it's going to be a hot chocolate night," she called, and Emma smiled halfheartedly. She could hear Henry in the next room talking to someone on the phone, probably Regina, and the cooing of baby Neal nearby as Charming tried to put him to bed. Henry was right, she realized suddenly. She needed to get her own place.

Snow appeared a moment later with two steaming mugs.

"So... What is it? What's wrong?"

"Killian... he..." Snow's eyebrows furrowed and for a moment Emma could swear her eyes darted over towards her bow and quiver. "He asked me to marry him," she finally said quickly.

"Oh... Well... um, that's ... Congratulations?"

"...I said no."

"Oh." Snow repeated, "really?"

"What? Should I have said yes? I mean Henry needs a father figure right?"

Snow almost choked on her cocoa, "I think Henry's got plenty of family in just about every position! This is about you, Emma... if you don't love him." Emma must have looked sheepish because Snow paused, "I mean you've... you've had something going on for months but... Emma do you... love him?"

"I... I think so," Emma finally admitted, "but it's not that simple. I mean you can love someone without having to run off and get married right away, right?"

"Yes.." Snow said hesitantly, "Of course, you have to do things when it is right for you."

Emma put her head in her hands, Cocoa untouched on the table, "I might have ... kind of told him I didn't want to talk about it... ever."

Snow pushed her hot cocoa closer, unsure of what to say, "and how did he take that?"

"Not great. I'm really bad at this kind of thing...but he said he'd still come over tomorrow. Remember he was coming over for breakfast. We were going to make pancakes before Henry goes to spend some time with Regina.

"Do you still want him to come over for breakfast?"

"Of course, I just... God, I've ruined everything haven't I?"

"No, Emma, no. Just talk to him about it tomorrow. Tell him what you told me, and that you just need some more time. I'm sure he'll understand."

Emma nodded glumly. Snow gave her a hug before going to help Charming tuck in their young prince. The house grew quiet...temporarily with a newborn in the house, but even so Emma couldn't sleep. It was 2 am when she decided she couldn't take it anymore. Changing quickly she slipped out of the house and walked back towards Granny's. She knocked softly at his door at first but gradually louder until Red came up behind her.

"He's not in there, Emma," she said sleepily.

"Oh, sorry I just... wait how do you know that?"

"Wolf ears remember, he hasn't come back since you ... left."

"Oh," Emma deadpanned, "I'm sorry, didn't mean to wake you."

Ruby shook her head, "It's all right, Emma, go find him, he headed out towards the docks, you probably already knew that."

Emma nodded and hurried out of Granny's making her way to the harbor. It was quiet and cold and she didn't know how she was going to find him but she knew she needed to. What was she going to say to him? 'Sorry I said I wouldn't marry you, but I still need you.' Yeah, great plan.

When she reached the docks she was hoping she would find him seated at the bench or in the boathouse, maybe just walking, but he was nowhere to be found. She walked until her fingers started to get numb in the chill but the docks were empty. Unless he was on one of the boats? In a cabin listening to her call for him and ignoring her. He wouldn't do that to her, would he?

When she got back to Granny's Ruby must have heard her coming back alone and came out to meet her.

"He's not there," Emma told her, "he's still not back in his room?"

"Sorry Emma, want me to help you find him?"

Emma considered for a moment but finally shook her head. "Get some sleep, he probably just… needs some space, he said he'd be back for breakfast anyway.

She slipped quietly back into the apartment, but her mother was already awake, pacing back and forth in the living room with Neal.

"Emma? I thought you were… where did you go?"

"Killian's gone, I can't find him anywhere," Emma sighed, falling down heavily onto the couch.

Neal had finally gone back to sleep in her arms so Snow sat next to Emma putting one arm around her. "He'll be back, Emma, you said in the morning right? Just give him some time and he'll be back."

Emma retreated back to her room_. 4AM. But it's ok. He'll be here when I wake. _

Despite the late night Emma woke early. The smell of pancakes already drifted through her door. Snow and Henry were already starting breakfast? She hurriedly dressed, listening for the sound of his voice through the door. As soon as she was dressed she burst into the kitchen.

He wasn't there. Charming held baby Neal and Snow and Henry were mixing batter, but no Killian. Snow caught Emma's gaze and came over to give her a hug and a kiss good morning.

"Don't worry Emma, he'll be here. He told you he would be, right?"

Emma nodded, glancing at the clock. He was late.

Killian Jones was never late.

* * *

It was a little abrupt, he could grant her that. They'd been having such a wonderful time these past few months, though, that of all things her storming out of Granny's in a fit of rage was not what he expected. And then..._ "I don't want to talk about it later, Hook, I don't want to talk about it ever!"_

I'm not ready yet, he could have understood. He could have waited. But never? His pain must have shown on his face because she tried to step forward, "If you still want to walk me home though..." Killian closed his eyes.

_Let's just pretend this never happened, right? Let's pretend you didn't just tell me you've no intention of marrying me, of ever being truly mine as I long to be yours._ He tried to smile but he knew it probably looked wrong.

"You've just rejected my proposal of marriage, love...I think perhaps, I'm going to need a little space as well tonight."

Her face fell, "Are you still... I mean Henry..."

Henry. He had agreed to come over for breakfast in the morning. Now she was afraid he would break his word?

_She asked for Henry? For Henry? What about for you Swan, do you still want me?_

Clearly not, or she wouldn't have felt the need to react quite so violently to his proposal.

"Chocolate chip pancakes in the morning, love, as promised." Killian Jones did not break his word, despite the fact that being around Emma at this particular moment drove a spike through his heart. Seeing that look in her eyes, nervousness, and God... was that pity? He retreated, making for the docks out of habit.

_I don't want to talk about it later, Hook._

He hadn't been Hook for a long time, and that stung almost as badly as her rejection. _What was I thinking, _he taunted himself, _thinking that the princess, the bloody savior, would be mine?_He made his way onto one of the boats, one of the few that still used sails. Probably belonged to Prince Eric at one point, but he wasn't exactly around to object. Why not? He had hours before breakfast and sleep was an unlikely prospect.

Killian double checked the navigation desk for maps of the area before pulling up the anchor and dropping the sails. It wasn't the Jolly Roger, not by a long shot, but the waves lapped at the bow and the ship rocked under his feet and he could breathe. Could finally breathe. He sailed under the stars until the coast was only a distant spec. The sky glowed a light pastel as flashes of green moved through the sky like waves on the water. He had thought it was another curse the first time he'd seen it, but Swan said it was normal... Aurora something, though he still couldn't figure out why the world without magic would name such a lovely display after a princess of the Enchanted Forest. For hours Killian allowed himself to drift, going where the wind and currents took him, watching only the stars and the sky and _not_ thinking of Emma Swan.

It was a lie.

She was always there, in the back of his mind, taunting him. _I just need... some space... _Finally he made his way to the navigation desk. He'd lost track of the coastline hours ago, but so long as he could see the stars he could always find his way home. Or back at least. Setting a course for Storybrooke he watched the colors fade as hints of predawn grey crept into the sky. Finally, after hours, and with the sun just peaking over the horizon he caught sight of land.

It wasn't right though. The port was busy and unfamiliar and...he checked the maps again. It should be here... As he drew close to the port he saw a sign,

**Welcome to Portsmouth, NH.**

_Bloody Hell._

* * *

**This is something I could really see happening. No theatrical will she won't she anymore. Now they're dealing with the big stuff. He's all in, she's still scared. He's not going to give up on her, but wounded pride... Yeah, that could be a problem. Particularly if she dances one step forward one step back for a while...**

****Threw our spoiler kiss in there for good measure because I was tired of seeing the same story over and over (great stories, don't get me wrong I just wanted to go somewhere completely different. because I can.) No, I don't think that is what the scene will actually be about, Just having fun.****

****Oh and If any of my lovelies are on tumbler I'm there now...****gusenitsagirl...**** Come find me!****


	38. Say Something 2

**So several of you left reviews that I got emails about but when I went to respond there was no record of the review here on FF. So sorry if I didn't respond to you, it seems FF is being a little glitchy?. I'll get back to writing my deleted scenes one of these days but in the meantime you'll have to be content with the traditional thank you very much to my reviewers, I love you guys!**

**Don't forget to come say Hi on tumbler if you have one: I'm gusenitsagirl**

* * *

**Welcome to Portsmouth, NH.**

_Bloody Hell._

* * *

The pancakes were gone, and so was Killian. He hadn't come back. He promised he'd come back but he didn't... Snow kept shooting her sympathetic glances and Charming's jaw was tensed.

"Come on Emma, Let's go," Charming finally said.

"Where are we going?"

"We are going to find Ruby, she is going to find Killian and I am going to hit him with my fist very hard."

Emma smiled slightly as Charming held the door for her. "Thanks, dad, but I understand if he doesn't want to see me right now. I just need to know he's ok. It's not like him to go back on a promise."

Ruby came out to meet them before they opened the door, "Thought I'd be seeing you this morning. He's still not back so... let's go."

"Thanks Ruby, you think you can find him."

Ruby laughed. "He's been wearing that coat for 300 years, I think I can manage."

Unsurprisingly she started out in the direction of the docks. Ruby paced up and down the dock for a while checked out the boathouse and then came back to the waterfront looking nervous.

"As far as I can tell he's still here."

"What?" Emma asked.

"I mean, he never left. Unless..."

Emma bit her lip, "Unless he left."

Ruby looked perplexed, "He wouldn't... he wouldn't just leave. What if-"

"What if something happened to him?" Emma couldn't tell if her voice was hopeful or terrified. She'd rejected him, what if he'd been drunk? What hurt less? Him choosing to leave or the possibility that he'd finally been claimed by the sea?

"Come on," Red said, taking her arm, "We'll go talk to Belle. Maybe she can get Gold to help find him."

Emma was doubtful that either party would be interested in helping Hook, but she let Red drag her back to the shop anyway. Fortunately for Emma Gold was on his best behavior for Belle and didn't just kick them out immediately.

"Let me get this straight. The pirate stole a boat and left, and your first thought is that there must be something wrong." He scoffed, "I haven't the patience to deal with your lover's spats, Miss. Swan."

Charming stepped forward, but before he could speak Belle spoke up, "Rumple it won't cause you any harm to help, will it?"

Gold sighed and pulled out a globe. "Technically it will," he muttered pricking his finger on the top and setting the swirling red. The globe began to stabilize and Gold raised his eyebrows. "We'll there you go, Miss Swan, Singularly unhelpful as I told you it would be."

"What do you mean," Emma craned to look.

"He's in the middle of the ocean, off the coast a couple hundred miles from here. So, Miss. Swan, He's either stolen a boat and left you, been kidnapped or is sinking to the bottom of the sea somewhere in that general area."

Emma's heart clenched, "You can't tell if he's ok?"

"This only tells you a general idea of where he is. And not very well at that, very difficult to pinpoint an exact location... It certainly doesn't discriminate a heartbeat."

Emma clenched her fist at his calloused tone, but Charming took her by the arm and led her from the shop.

"I have to go find him," she said.

"In the middle of the ocean? It's a big place, Emma. Maybe he just needed to get away for a while. Come back home, maybe he'll be back tonight?"

But he wasn't back that night.

It was four in the morning when Charming found her, sitting on the dock staring out over the water, knees pulled up to her chest and shivering in the cold air. "Emma you can't stay out here, it's too cold."

"If it's too cold for me to be out here, how is he going to fare?" she murmured quietly, pulling her legs tighter. Charming sighed and sat down next to her, dropping an arm over her shoulder as they listened to the lapping of the water against an empty dock.

* * *

Killian spent hours pouring over the maps and navigational equipment on Eric's desk before finally going in search of a harbor master.

"You need a permit to tie up here," someone with a clipboard told him gruffly.

"Apologies, I'm in search of the harbor master."

"Sure, I guess you could call me that, but what you should be in search of is the business office to buy a permit."

"I'll be sure to do so, but perhaps you could assist me with a little problem. I'm not sure my charts are quite up to date, have you some updated ones?"

The harbor master rolled his eyes and muttered something about amateurs before stuffing a map into his hand and pointing him towards the business office.

Killian went back to the ship, spreading out the new map on the desk. Storybrooke was, of course, not on the map but he could see the landscapes were quite different from the ones he had been working with all morning. He disembarked from the dock, before the man with a clipboard could start yelling at him about permits again, plotting a course back north. He knew he'd gone too far south, but without knowing exactly where Storybrooke was on the bloody map it could take him days of poking along the coast before he spotted the correct harbor. A disturbing thought crossed his mind... he'd left Storybrooke... what if the town was now as invisible to him as it was to the outsiders. He didn't have a magic bean or Cora to guide him this time. He continued north at far less than his desired speed, and was somewhat relieved when evening fell. He was used to navigating by the stars, and now he set himself to that task.

They were different here, he remembered, but he'd made a preliminary study of the new patterns when he'd first arrived in Storybrooke. Finally after several hours of studying them he realized the problem... They moved differently then the stars of his land and all of his calculations had been wrong.

_Bloody Hell _ he thought again, for what must have been the hundredth time.

He had not bothered to check food stores on the vessel before leaving the harbor, and when he finally did so he discovered that while water was stored enough for a couple weeks the food stores were depleted. If this trip took longer than a couple days he would have to stop for supplies, and he didn't much like the idea of stopping.

He slept no more than an hour at a time and even so it took him three long days before he started to see a familiar landscape on the horizon. A mixture of relief and panic welled up in his chest. Emma was going to kill him. He'd promised to be back by breakfast. Well he'd be there for breakfast, three days late. When he finally tied up the boat at the dock a figure came running to meet him. Not Emma, too small, as he drew closer he recognized Henry. Henry looked none-to pleased to see him though. He bent to meet him but when Henry finally got close enough, Killian fell back as something hard and sharp hit him in the face.

Killian caught the object he'd been hit with. It was the sextant he'd given Henry weeks ago to practice with.

"How dare you!" Henry yelled, tears in his eyes "This is all your fault!"

"I'm sorry lad, I didn't mean to be away so long- Wait, what is all my fault?"

"My mom is in the hospital, and they won't let me see her and it's all your fault. Henry grabbed the sextant from Killian's limp hands and threw it hard, missing the water but crashing hard against the dock.

"What!?" Killian said in horror, "What happened?"

"What do you care, you abandoned us."

"Henry listen to me, I didn't... All right. I know this is going to sound absurd, lad, but I was bloody lost. The stars are all different here and... Henry what's happened to your mother?"

Henry looked like he might try to hit Killian again for a minute, but Killian looked so terrified he thought better of it. "She stopped sleeping, stopped eating. She thought you'd been shipwrecked or just left her behind like everyone else. She was a wreck, so when this Hans guy showed up she wasn't ready."

Killian's jaw clenched, "Henry, please? Can you take me to her?"

Henry glared but finally turned and ran back towards town ahead of him. When he reached Snow and Charming's apartment Charming crushed Henry into a hug, "You can't go off like that, Henry, we have to go meet Snow at-" then he saw Killian coming around the corner. In two steps Charming was on him and his left jab was no worse for wear.

"You!"

"I can explain, mate- "

"I don't care, get the hell away from-"

"He didn't mean to gramps, he got lost."

"That's what you're going with," Charming asked suspiciously.

"It's the truth, mate. Please... I need to see her, I need to tell her-"

"Yeah well if she wakes up you'll be last in line."

Killian went white. "Charming please... please let me see her?"

Charming's gaze did not soften but he let Killian follow him into the truck. They met Snow at the hospital, pale and pacing with wet eyes. She took one look at Killian and slapped him hard.

He didn't even flinch. "I'm sorry, Snow, where is she-"

She ignored him, turning to Charming, "She's in surgery. He says they have to get the bullet out but there's internal bleeding."

Killian collapsed back into the wall, one hand outstretched to catch himself. Henry seemed to have softened up slightly, because he led him over to a chair where he sank down. Charming and Snow were talking, glancing over at him frequently but his gaze was fixed past them at the doors to the OR. Henry placed his hand on Killian's arm.

"I'm sorry I hit you. It's not really your fault, I was just mad."

"I deserved it, lad. I had no intention of harming her but I did... I shouldn't have left." Snow came up to him after a while and apologized for slapping him too, Charming just glared as if daring him to expect an apology from him. Snow sat down next to him and laid her hand on his left forearm.

"I'm sorry, " he whispered again. To himself, or her he wasn't sure.

"It's not your fault. Charming told me what happened... and Henry corrected the exaggerations." She smiled slightly a tear falling down her cheek. Killian turned and wiped it away, heart clenching as he remembered doing the same thing to Swan in the Enchanted Forest. When Whale finally emerged from the OR he jumped to his feet Snow right behind him.

"She's in recovery. I was able to remove the bullet and stop the hemorrhage but we'll need to monitor her for at least the rest of the night before she can leave recovery. She's sedated, because we don't want her moving too much and risking tearing the sutures

"Can we see her," Snow asked.

"I doubt I could stop you. But she's asleep and needs to be that way for at least a few hours. Frankly, she'll probably sleep until at least sometime tomorrow."

Snow nodded and Whale led them back to her recovery room. Emma was in a small hospital bed, wires and tubes hooked up everywhere. She was so pale... Killian stayed back by the door while her family gathered around.

Whale came in again after a few minutes "I suggest you all go home and get some sleep. And by suggest I mean, visiting hours are long past over. Let her rest, go spend some time with Neal, you can come by anytime after 6am, all right?"

Snow nodded, and Charming kissed Emma's head before heading out the door. Killian didn't move but to turn toward Whale. "If you make me leave I'll just sneak back in... I'll let her rest I promise... just please ... Let me watch over her?"

Whale glanced at Charming who after a long moment nodded.

Killian sank into the chair next to her bed. The room was full of noise, heart monitors and alarms and a steady beep letting him know that some tube or other was putting something into her bloodstream. Probably something like the numbing substance he had been drugged with on his own visit to this institution.

His hands were shaking and he felt lightheaded, but he couldn't be entirely sure if that was stress or lack of provisions and sleep. Fortunately Whale seem to notice his state and a few minutes later a nurse came in with water and, of all things, Jell-O. It wasn't much but his hands stopped shaking.

It was all he could manage not to pace. He reached out to gently take Emma's hand, careful not to disturb the tubes and wires. He hadn't slept more than a couple hours at a time since he left Storybrooke so, despite his anxiousness, before long his eyes began to droop. With a sigh he laid his head down on the side of the bed almost instantly dropping off into a fitful sleep.

In his dreams he heard screaming. But it wasn't screaming. It was the shrill yell of the monitor which brought Whale bursting into the room. Whale pushed Killian out of the way as Killian asked him what was wrong, still groggy from sleep.

Whale ignored him, checking monitors and placing his fingers at her neck to look for a heartbeat. Finally he turned to Killian in confusion, "What did you do... she has no heart."

The words had hardly registered in Killian's mind before Henry was yelling at him, "How dare you!" Henry cried.

Charming slammed him against the wall shouting, "You! You crushed her heart, how could you?" Snow was just crying, and he could feel his own eyes burning...

Killian woke with a gasp, in a room silent except for the beeping of monitors and his own ragged breathing. When he finally became aware of his surroundings he looked up to see green eyes watching him curiously. "Swan?" he asked. She looked confused, as if she didn't quite know why he was there.

"What are you doing here, Hook?" she asked suspiciously, her words slurring slightly.

"Emma, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have left, I-"

"Damn right you shouldn't have left. I have to find Henry. I have to get out of here," she began to shift, trying to pull out the IV.

"Stop it," Killian said hurriedly, pinning her wrist with his right hand so she couldn't pull the needle free. "Henry was just here, he'll be back to see you in the morning," he said, trying to calm her.

"I don't know what your game is pirate, but I'm not your love. Now give me back the damn bean and let me go find my son."

In confusion, Killian fell silent as Emma tried to pull her wrist free without success, glaring at Killian.

"Hook! Look pirate, If you came back to kill me yourself you should have done it while I was asleep."

"Why would I do such a thing?"

"Oh now you have qualms with killing me? Didn't seem to bother you when you stole our only way of saving the town-" her words were slurring now as though she were very intoxicated and then her eyes drooped closed again.

Killian was frozen in place for a moment before he shot up and ran out into the hallway, nearly colliding with Whale as he did so.

"She doesn't remember me? What the bloody hell happened to her? Why didn't someone tell me there was magic involved?"

Whale raised his hands trying to calm Killian down, "Whoa, it was a bullet wound, Killian. Simple, if effective. No magic. What are you yelling about?"

"She woke up, but she doesn't remember anything after leaving for Neverland."

Whale nodded, "That can sometimes happen." Killian seethed silently but Whale continued, "She's on heavy sedatives and coming out of general anesthesia, Killian. Try not to panic, both of those things can scramble the brain just as effectively as magic. She'll be fine in a few hours, I promise."

Killian finally returned to Emma's bedside when Whale threatened to call Charming and have him arrested. Emma was resting calmly again and Killian took her hand in his, wondering if she'd remove his other hand for him when she next woke. Fortunately she was no longer armed...

Hours dragged by and finally Henry came by with Snow and a tray of food, which Killian devoured voraciously.

"Did you not eat while you were gone?" Snow asked in concern.

"I wasn't anticipating being gone more than a few hours. It was an incredibly amateur mistake, I'll admit to that. It's foolish to ever take out a boat without provisioning for the unexpected. I wasn't in my right mind. Fortunately for me, Eric is a good sailor. His water stores were sufficient to allow me to continue my search without stopping for supplies."

Snow's eyes widened and she disappeared, coming back a moment later with a second breakfast and coffee.

Killian thanked her again, drinking the coffee quickly to keep himself awake. "What happened, Snow, and where is this Hans?" he asked suddenly.

"Charming arrested him, He came after Elsa, something about ruining his chance of finding his own place."

"How did Emma get caught in the middle?"

"By being Emma." Snow smiled slightly, "She insisted on working, and she got there first when he started making his way through the streets looking for Elsa. He was waving a sword around like a maniac, no one realized he was carrying a firearm as well until it was too late. Grumpy and a few others tackled him and got the gun away and Granny had him tied up at the point of her crossbow by the time we arrived. Fortunately Dr. Whale was at the diner flirting with Ruby at the time and was able to take care of her immediately-"

"Mom?" Henry said suddenly jumping up.

Killian and Snow glanced up and saw Emma had opened her eyes again and Henry threw himself into her arms, knocking off some kind of sensor and making one of the machines start screaming. Whale came in quickly and turned it off and began to ask Emma question about how she felt. Emma answered them but her gaze was locked on Killian. Finally Whale asked the question Killian was waiting for.

"What's the last thing you remember."

"Where's Hans?"

Killian felt a surge of relief as Snow told her about Hans' arrest. Finally Snow took Henry's hand, "let's go tell Charming and Neal the good news, all right Henry? I think your mom needs to talk to Killian. Killian smiled gratefully at Snow as they left the room.

"You're back," she said simply.

"Emma, love, I never meant to be away so long. I need you to know that."

"I thought something had... happened to you. You're hurt..." she raised a hand to his cheek which had probably turned a rather dramatic shade of purple after being struck by the sextant.

"The maps weren't up to date, love, I went out to clear my head and ended up in some place called Portsmouth."

Emma bit her lip for a moment, one side of her lip twitching up before she burst out laughing. "You got lost?"

"Laugh all you like, love, it's the truth. The stars ... they're all wrong here."

"That's it, you're getting a cell phone. After this you can't say you don't need one."

"Aye lass, whatever it takes for that to not happen ever again." He moved to kiss her forehead but she tilted her head up to catch his lips. Killian smiled brushing her hair back out of her face as he leaned over her. That seemed to remind her of something and she tried to reach up to to brush the tangles from her hair. It was quite a sight actually, because one hand was caught on an IV line and Killian held her other pressed down into the bed.

"I must look a wreck," she said self consciously when he didn't release her arm.

Killian grinned, "Indeed, I'll admit I've never seen your hair reflect that spirited personality quite so well!"

Emma smiled and pulled her hand loose to punch him but Killian dodged her blow. "Your family has taken care of that for you love," he told her and instead of hitting him her hand went up to his face. "Who hit you, was that Charming?"

"Actually I think your lad did the most damage," Killian said proudly. "But fear not, everyone got their chance."

"Good," Emma said, "Now that that's out of the way, I'll just have to kiss it better."

Killian raised an eyebrow, "Well aren't you forward this morning? I think perhaps you missed me."

"It"s the drugs," Emma said with a smirk.

"Oh, I don't think so, lass. You seem perfectly in control of your faculties to me."

"Do I?" Emma asked with an innocent smile. "In that case... ask me again."

Killian looked perplexed for a moment before a smile flickered over his lips.

"Aye, pirate," she teased, "ask me again."


	39. Oversteer

**Spoiler alert...kind of. **

**I know they said Emma was driving the car but I don't care. In my head that spoiler of the car accident was a driving lesson gone horribly wrong! :P Random little blurb that just kind of happened after seeing the spoilers on tumbler. I keep saying I'm taking a break from this site and somehow I'm still here. lol. **

* * *

"KILLIAN! STOP OVERSTEERING!"

"I've got this love." Killian said, his calm voice contrasting with his tight grip on the wheel. "I've captained a ship through storms that tore everything else to pieces, I think I can handle an automobile."

In truth he could handle it… as long as they were going in a straight line, but every turn was preceded by a dramatic swirling of the wheel that sent them careening sharply across the road.

"It's not a ship, Killian, it needs something of a lighter touch," she said impatiently and Killian turned to raise his eyebrows at her with a smirk. Emma clenched the car door tightly, "Watch the bloody road!" He kept eye contact with her just a moment longer, grinning mischievously before obediently returning his gaze to the road.

Emma glanced nervously at the upcoming turn of the road and tightened her grip on her hand rest as it approached. Killian turned the wheel abruptly again… this time it felt wrong and suddenly they were sliding, rear tires flying out to the side as they skidded across the road. Emma felt herself slammed to one side and then all was still.

"Swan?" Killian was immediately leaning over her, his hand brushing her hair back from her face. "Emma, love, are you all right?"

Emma shook her head to clear it before looking up into nervous blue eyes, "Just a little rattled…" then suddenly she seemed to realize what had happened. She unbuckled her seatbelt and shoved the door open.

"You're going to get us killed," Emma muttered irritably.

"Possible, Swan, but at least my missteps don't risk the entire timeline!" Killian teased, getting out of the vehicle to making his way over to her.

Emma glared half-heartedly but the tiniest twitch of his lip betrayed his smile.

"You didn't have to come chasing after me!"she shot back.

Killian smiled and raised one hand to her face, brushing her cheek with his thumb. "Alas, love, I did. But while we're on the subject, you didn't have to teach me to steer this vessel of yours. Why is it so important to you?"

"What if something happens and you need to go find Henry or get out of town or take someone to the hospital? You can't walk everywhere." She distracted herself by inspecting for damage but there was none to speak of, save the bruise that was probably already developing where she had hit the door. Glancing back toward the town her eyebrows furrowed.

"What is that?" She pulled her gun and walked back down the road, Killian a step behind. As they looked back towards the town she saw everything was covered in a thin layer of white, and an icy sheet was growing along the road toward them.

Killian took a tentative step onto the ice and it cracked underneath his weight, nearly throwing him off balance as it continued to creep along the road. Emma pulled him back off the ice rapidly.

"I think we better get back to town, love," Killian said matter-of-factly.

"What the hell is that? Ice doesn't move like that, it's not even that cold."

The wind seemed to object to her evaluation and an icy blast pushed her back a step. Killian took her arm to steady her and they made their way back to the car carefully.

"This time I'm driving," Emma muttered, eying the ice with trepidation.

"Oh come now lass, I can hardly be blamed for ice that chases the automobile, now can I?"

Emma just laughed and snatched the keys from his outstretched hand. Killian grinned as he slipped into the passengers seat and Emma started the car again. Slowly, experimentally, she made her way along the ice.

"Emma?" Killian asked suddenly.

"Hmm?"

"Don't tell Henry."

* * *

_**Find me at Gusenitsagirl if you're on Tumbler. **_

_**What's your head canon for the car accident?**_


	40. Writer's Block (teaser)

**I don't do AU's ... so now I'm going to do an AU. Experimenting, and trying not to die of boredom waiting for OUAT to come back (Come back to me, OUAT) This is a preview. I don't want to get into too long of a multi chapter story here in this compilation and it doesn't quite fit the compilation, so if you like it go read and follow my new story Writer's Block :) **

* * *

"No one uses the word malfeasance! Damn it Killian, are you drunk again?"

Killian threw his glass at the wall, it shattered, a few precious drops of amber glittering amongst the splintering glass. "Not nearly drunk enough, and it's my job to tell you who uses the word malfeasance. If you could write, you'd write your own books."

"And you're doing such a wonderful job yourself? You're derivative Killian, at best, At worst it's downright thievery!"

"You're fired, get out of my apartment," Killian seethed.

"No one tells me what to do. You work for me Killian, and you are fired. I can't count on a one handed pirate with a drinking problem to produce anything worth publishing."

To be honest Killian had almost smiled at the turn of phrase, appreciating the insult in a way that only an author really could. If he could be called an author anymore? He'd not written anything of substance in years now. Not since _her_.

"Get out," Killian repeated. The door slammed shut behind his ex-editor and Killian went in search of another glass, a task that was getting more and more difficult as more of them ended up in a broken pile in the corner. Finally finding one in a more or less whole state he poured another glass of his chosen poison, swallowing it in several long pulls that burned him up in a pleasant numbing fire.

At first he'd blamed it on the accident. It wasn't really an accident, of course. It was a drunk driver, or so they thought. The driver had fled the scene, leaving his handiwork in a smoldering wreck of smoking metal. Bloody coward.

...

* * *

...

Emma smiled half-heartedly, but wasn't entirely convinced that Regina was joking at all. "Anyway, Killian Jones has gone off the deep end again. We need someone to keep him from having a breakdown and get us something new from him. We have a big market for his novels but he's not produced anything in years. If he can't be salvaged we need to know so we can cut ties with him."

"I thought he had an editor?" That was the nicest way she could think of to ask what the hell happened to the obnoxious jerk that was always moaning and complaining about his client in the break room (as if anyone else wanted to hear.)

"They fired each other, I'm thinking a pretty face might help smooth things over."

Emma flushed slightly, "Isn't he married?"

"Nope, and his girl kicked the bucket ages ago, not that I see how that is relevant."

Emma bit her tongue to prevent herself from saying what she thought of this rather heartless evaluation. Regina Mills was good at getting things done... but there's a reason she was not in PR. Still, Emma knew she had a soft side. Her son Henry was a sweet boy who sometimes dropped by the office after school. He usually hung out in Emma's cubicle until Regina got off and Regina was different around the kid.

"Fine," Emma said, "When is he coming in?"

Regina laughed "Killian Jones! Come here? No Miss. Swan, you'll be lucky if you can get him to open the door."

Emma raised her eyebrows and Regina's head finally snapped up, "What are you still doing here?"

"It would help to have an address."

"Oh just google it, that's your job."

* * *

...

After a moment she knocked again calling, "Killian Jones, I know you're in there, let me in." She heard scuffling then a telltale creak and she raised an eyebrow. On instinct she bolted back down the stairs and around the building just in time to see someone making their way down the fire escape one handed.

"Jones, what the hell are you doing?" she cried as he hopped down to the street level and turned to her. With a shock she realized he was climbing one handed out of necessity. The stump was hidden under the sleeve of a button down dress shirt and she quickly tore her eyes from it. Looking at his face wasn't much better. His eyebrows shot up over deep blue eyes and she cursed internally, _Why did he have to be attractive? _She'd never bothered looking at the book jackets before...

"Ah," He said suddenly, relaxing as he looked her over, "I thought you were someone else. I don't think I've had the pleasure..."

"Regina sent me."

"Interesting, Care to come inside?"

"Do I have to take the fire escape?"

"No no, course not, lass. We'll take the stairs like civilized people."

"My name is not lass."

"What is your name then, love?"

Emma rolled her eyes "Who did you think I was anyway?"

Killian shrugged, "Sometimes I forget not to give them my real address If I'm too drunk to think clearly... but you... I think I'd remember you."

They reached the landing for his apartment and he opened the door for her.

She rolled her eyes again, "You made me chase you out a back window and now you're going to be a gentleman?"

"I'm always a gentleman, love."

"So ... you had something of an artistic difference with your previous editor?" Her eyes flicked over to the broken glass still on the floor next to the wall. The apartment smelled like smoke and rum, and Emma found herself wondering if that was due to the fight with his editor or if it was a constant state.

"You could say that," Killian commented bitterly, "but you're here to make that all better?"

"I'm here to determine if we need to cut our losses," she said bluntly.

Killian smiled , "Tough lass, you'd make a hell of an editor."

"That's still not my name Jones. And I am a hell of an editor. Do you think you can get me something to look at so Regina doesn't smite both our asses?"

...

* * *

**So there you go, a teaser to try to get some of you to go here : ( s/10653259/1/Writers-Block) and read the first chapter :)**


	41. Something of Mine

**I know, I've slacked off on the short story department and the deleted scenes for reviewers department. I'll get back to them I promise...**

** I do hope that many of you will forgive me because I've been updating Writer's Block pretty frequently! (Another update tonight or tomorrow at latest, btw) This one is for thehookandtheswan on tumblr because she prompted it forever ago and had something of a bad day yesterday. So this is to cheer you up, lovely!**

* * *

She didn't need his help anyway. Besides, she was about 99% sure that giants can't really smell blood and he was just messing with her. Still, it mocked her all the way down that beanstalk. Taunting her. _You abandoned him… because he helped you, you abandoned him. How are you any better than them?_

She stuffed it in her bag once the cut was healed. Out of sight, out of mind?

He would have left her. It was just a matter of time. She just got there first.

_He had to have been lying when he said he wouldn't have. Obviously he was lying or why would he be working with Cora? _

_Because you left him with no choice._

Yet for all his bravado, she won on that beach. She, Emma Swan, holding a sword like a baseball bat (and using it with just as much finesse) defeated Captain Hook in a duel. _He wouldn't have let her win, right? She was just more creative… or got lucky or something…. _

It got thrown in with her laundry after her return to Storybrooke and she absolutely did not regret that it no longer smelled like rum and him… Damn him.

_Where had she put it?_

Digging through her desk she finally found the scarf in a bottom drawer with an old compass. She sat back on her heels to examine the material. After all this time, she still had it. Nothing more than a scrap of material, but still... evidence that it hadn't been a dream. He had tried to help her once… That first time, years ago now, and she had left him behind. He'd had so many chances to do the same since then. He could have left her in NY or to her own fate when that portal swallowed her up. But he hadn't… after all this time he kept helping her, even after she left him behind again and again.

With a slight smile she draped the scarf around her neck. Killian was helping at the station today with her and David. This would be fun.

When she arrived David and Killian were already bickering … something about the advantages of a broadsword compared to a rapier. When she opened the door they looked up.

"Morning, Emma," David called.

"Morning, Dad, Killian."

Killian just nodded, staring dumfounded.

Emma's smile faltered briefly. Had she miscalculated? She though he would get a kick out of the fact that she had kept it all this time but perhaps it was just a reminder that she had abandoned him once before.

Before she had time to pursue that line of thought David was briefing them on something about some of the lost boys breaking into the flower shop … again… and they were off. The day was endless, chasing down lost boys, and the dwarves keep claiming there are were still flying monkeys around though somehow they're the only one's to see them. That and Robin's merry men had not quite learned that it is really not ok to raid the grocery store no matter how much 'excess' food they have there. By the time the day ended it was all Emma could do to collapse behind her desk and just stare at the mountain of paperwork that had accumulated over the course of the day.

"I got this, David," Emma said, pulling herself up with a sigh. "Go be with Neal, He'll be in the rebellious teenage years before we get through all this."

David nodded gratefully and left while Emma stood trying to gather up and organize the papers on her desk. Killian didn't say anything at first, but then he came over to half sit on the edge of her desk while she worked.

"I do believe you have something of mine, love."

Emma's hand flew to her throat. She had managed to forget about that over the course of the day and now she flushed crimson. "I'm sorry, I thought you'd find it funny or ... something..."

"Funny, no that's not the word. Intriguing."

"Excuse me?"

"All that time you spent holding me at arms length. You kept my scarf in your home, all that time?"

"I forgot about it-" she started halfheartedly.

"Really?"

"Yes," Emma said defiantly.

"You kept a dirty bloody scarf all through your trek back to Storybrooke after you left me on that beanstalk? Then... when Regina had to send us back to the Enchanted Forest it just happened to make its way into your vessel? And when you came back to Storybrooke... you mean to tell me you forgot, and it somehow ended up back here by some... what some act of fate?"

"Yes?"

Killian grinned and leaned towards her, looping his hook through the material to pull her gently closer. "So what you're saying is that we were fated to find each other again?"

Emma flushed, "I said no such thing."

"Well which is it love? Are you a sentimental lass keeping my clothing with you in your travels or is it the work of the fates."

"Couldn't it just be a funny little coincidence."

Killian smiled, tugging her another step closer. "Funny indeed, love," he teased, finally she was close enough and he leaned toward her, lips nearly brushing hers as he spoke, "You know I'll have to take this off you, love. What kind of pirate lets his property be stolen." He hooked the material and pulled it over her head, examining it for a moment. Finally he glanced back up at her "Unless you _want_ to keep it? Not that you care of course, it's just a scarf."

"Well...it is kind of cold."

"Indeed. Wouldn't want you to catch a chill. Well then, we'll have to come to some sort of arrangement won't we."

Emma glared suspiciously. "What do you want, Hook?"

"Oh dear, are we back to that? Fine love, as you insist, here is the arrangement I offer;" he held the scarf out on his hook with a smirk. "So long as you are wearing this scarf I can kiss you anytime I want."

"Really? A kiss? That's what you want?"

"Not just a kiss, love. Anytime you wear it. I can kiss you anytime I want. That's the deal. Mid bloody sentence if I want to. And you can't complain. Not as long as you keep it on."

Emma smiled and snatched the scarf from his hook droping it neatly over her shoulders again, "What are you waiting for, pirate?"

If Emma wore that scarf more frequently after that... it was only because it was cold.


	42. Warm

**_MORE chilly cuddles... besides... this scene needed more captain charming! So I know I titled this chapter Warm... but you know what the title is in my doc manager. AAAAAWWWWW this season is going to kill us alllllll._**

**_So yeah... that was my *cough* inspiration. _**

**_*I'm an adult, I'm an adult, I'm an adult...*_**

* * *

_"That's what this family does. We really really don't like to give up." _

She hasn't taken a single sip yet, and he knows why. She grips the mug so tightly it seems she might break it and as he watches, the chocolate ripples back and forth in the cup. If she tried to drink it right now it would end up on her shirt most likely. He tightens his grip on her shoulder rubbing gently back and forth; not entirely certain if the shivering is entirely Emma's doing. "You're gunna be the death of me, lass," he mutters into the top of her hair.

The heating mechanism made him agonizingly warm inside his leather jacket. But to take it off he'd have to move away from her, a scenario that didn't seem physically possible at the moment. As they sat the mug ceased to steam taking with it the horrid blue tinge that had graced her fingers only a few moments earlier.

Henry came back up to her and took the mug from her still chilled fingers.

"Sorry, Kid. Felt great on my fingers though."

"Want me to warm it up again?"

"Maybe later?"

Henry lunged forward to hug Emma again and Killian pulled back, letting Emma take her son in her arms. With an awkward grunt he stood, picking up her mug; "I'll give you some space," he mumbled hurrying into the next room. Just past the doorway, out of sight, he stopped and bent down setting the cup on the floor. As he did so he saw it was trembling again, just as it had been when Emma clutched it. He raised himself up again opening and closing his fingers, watching the barely noticeable tremor. He breathed in deeply, counting to 5 and holding it before releasing it slowly and repeating. He was no stranger to adrenaline, and he'd become used to the breathing techniques that would calm its physical side effects. His body wanted to run, to fight... but he knew he couldn't leave her now. Even with more family than she knew what to do with. His head fell back into the wall with an audible thud.

"Killian?"

His eyes snapped open and he pulled away from the wall, just as Charming came through the doorway.

"I was just... um the mug... and her lad; I was just-"

"Trying to not punch the wall or jump out that window and run for the docks as fast as you can because your arms and legs burn and you just want to hit something?" Charming said.

Killian chuckled, "Aye, something like that. Her lad still-"

"He just left, had something he needs to take care of."

"He's a good kid," Killian said distractedly.

"What are you doing out here Killian?"

"Seemed like a family moment... didn't want to intrude. You'd be wanting to continue our earlier conversation, I take it?"

"I think not. Unless something has changed, you not able to keep up with my daughter anymore?"

"Oh, it has changed. Now I'm going to build a well insulated tower and lock her away in it."

"Good luck with that. pirate. I couldn't even keep my wife locked away during our honeymoon. You figure out how to keep Emma from running headlong into danger ever chance she gets, for God's sake tell me how you did it."

"How _do_ you do it?"

"I told you-"

"No I mean... you're so bloody optimistic that everything will always work out. How do you know it will be ok?"

"Practice, I guess."

"I don't think I'll survive the practice."

"Killian, I've just spent a couple minutes arguing with Emma about whether it's more likely that babies dream about Bull fighting or laser tag ... but she was a bit too distracted looking over here to make a coherent argument. "

Killian raised an eyebrow.

"It's an important issue Killian. Get back in there and convince her it's bull fighting."

Killian chuckled and made his way back to the main room, shedding his coat as he did so. Lowering himself next to Emma he draped the leather over the top of her, tucking the edges in as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Better, love?"

She nodded, snuggling into the heavy fabric. "Where'd you go?"

"Just beyond the door, love, wanted to give you and your lad your moment."

She shifted and lifted her arm from under his jacket, and his fingers immediately searched out hers. "Bloody Hell lass, your fingers are still freezing."

"Elsa says that happens." Emma replied with a yawn "Fingers and toes are the last to warm up."

Her eyelids drooped as she leaned into him and he covered both her hands with his. A moment later her head was drooping too.

"Swan?"

"Mmm?"

"Stay up with me, love?"

"I'm up," she mumbled but soon she was falling again. This time there was an echo of familiar fear in his voice when he called, "Emma!?"

"Mmm?"

"Emma, hey, Emma, come on." He shook her gently, "stay awake with me for just a little while?"

She opened her eyes and he was watching her nervously.

"What's wrong, Killian?"

His fingers rubbed gently back and forth on the back of her hand. He lifted one of her hands and kissed it lightly before pressing the cold skin to his cheek. "You're still so cold..."

"I'm all right."

Killian didn't look convinced and Emma rubbed her thumb across his cheek. "I'm fine, Killian. I'm just tired."

"I'm not unfamiliar with the cold, love. I've seen men fall asleep and not wake up."

"Maybe I just need a drink," Emma teased. "Isn't rum your solution to everything."

"Not this," he replied seriously, "I'm well aware that rum makes you feel warm, but you don't need to feel warm... you need to be warm.

Emma laced her fingers through his again. "Well let's ask an expert," she said, fumbling in her pocket for her phone. Pulling up Dr. Whale's number she put the phone on speaker.

"Whale."

"Hey, Dr. Whale, it's Emma."

"Emma, how are you feeling? Your father told me of your brush with our newest guest."

"I'm good now. Actually, I'm here with Killian. Can you please tell him that it's safe for me to go to sleep."

"How long have you been inside?"

"I dunno, 15 minutes or so."

"Did you stop shivering while you were outside or after you got home."

Emma glanced sideways at Killian before she muttered, "before... but it started again when I got home."

"That's good, actually. Has it stopped now?"

"Mostly."

"How about your fingers and toes."

"Still bloody frozen," Killian broke in.

"Hmm... Well, Emma, I think he's right. Just to be safe, it would be best that you stay active for now. Drink something warm, it'll help. Once your fingers are warm again then you can sleep, alright?"

Emma mumbled something grumpily and hung up the phone.

"You heard the doctor!" Killian said, pulling her up and dislodging an avalanche of blankets. "Up you go, time to reheat that chocolate your lad made for you."

Emma glared as Killian bent to pick up his leather jacket which had tumbled to the ground with the pile of blankets. Shaking it out he draped it over her shoulders again.

"This thing is heavy!" Emma said, slipping her arms through the too large jacket.

"It is... but can I just say you look-"

"SO-" Emma interrupted, making for the kitchen. "Hot chocolate." The cup was already in the microwave where someone had left it and Emma turned it on. Soon she was pushing up the sleeves of Killian's jacket and sipping on the warm drink.

"How did you wear this in Neverland without melting?" Emma asked, settling down onto the couch.

"Leather has it's uses." Killian replied, sitting down next to her. "Protection from dreamshade thorns, for one. I had no intention of staying in Neverland forever."

"There's no dreamshade here."

"A valid point. Are you trying to steal my jacket, love?"

"No," Emma said, snuggling deeper into its folds.

Killian grinned, noting that the mug no longer shook in her hands as she sipped it. When she finally finished her drink Emma put down the empty mug next to the couch and pushed closer to Killian. He wrapped his arms around her, coat and all, and pulled her close. As she laid her head against his chest she reached for his hand again, "All right...ready for the test?"

He reached out his hand and she entwined her fingers with his.

Finally warm.

* * *

**AN: It's been a while on the extended scenes and short stories... but now that Writer's Block is almost completed, I'm starting to ponder the massive amount of CS amazingness that has been S4 so far**. **It's a good time to be a CS shipper. FF is becoming superfluous guys... because the show is FF now. (Until about halfway through next episode probably...) **

**As some of my reviewers now know I'm catching up on the bonus scene/epilogues too. So thanks to those of you that leave me reviews (particularly ones that give me ideas... I _love_ stealing your ideas :P)**


	43. Voicemail

**_Why should I carry around this ridiculous thing if you're never there when I use it? We found the person that froze Marian, get to the west edge of the woods right away._**

She didn't like that voicemail very much. The one that reminded her that Killian had been almost killed by the fricken Dairy Queen and she hadn't been there. She knew she couldn't protect him all the time. That he'd only resent it if she tried to keep him away from danger. The man was 300 years old... if he didn't know how to protect himself... But he's just a man without magic in a town plagued by it. For all his cleverness and resourcefulness... Their enemies had magic... and deep down she truly feared what she had once said;

_I've got magic, he's got one hand._

It had been a cruel thing to say. But deep down she meant it. Not out of any cruelty or mallace... but from a place of fear. What could he do against Zelena's magic?

She had been right. He'd been helpless against the magic of the Dark One. Struggling uselessly to breathe as the water pressed in on him. She had done nothing. Her magic was so fragile...so out of control. She still remembered with terrifying clarity the moment he stopped fighting. The moment he went limp as she struggled to pull him free of the water. She'd yelled and cursed Zelena and pulled on Killian until her arms were sore. He was still, cold, dying and she couldn't do a thing until Zelena let her.

She panicked. He needed air and she gave it to him. It had been enough. That time.

This time? No, nothing could have saved him in time if he'd been impaled on a sword of ice...

**_Love, don't listen to Regina. You've nothing to prove. Be careful... and don't do anything reckless. _**

That one came from after she'd sent him to the sheriff station to protect Elsa. Well ... not to protect Elsa. She been rude then too... but it was the only way to keep him from following her into the middle of every new magical crisis. (And apparently even that didn't work very well.)

She knew that he wanted to protect her too. He wanted to be by her side as she faced witches and curses and time travel and flying monkeys. All the time... just in case. Because this is Storybrooke and every day when you leave your house your chance of coming across some kind of magical crisis is nearly near 100% these days.

How was she supposed to protect him if he was always protecting her? It's like the insane version of fighting to pay a check. (What she wouldn't give to just be competing over paying a check, like normal couples.)

She clicked on the next oldest message and his voice sounded over the phone again:

**_I think I finally figured out the Emma button! Still... I don't know that I understand why you have the same message every time I call, isn't it supposed to change?_**

She smiled as she made her way through the saved messages. That one always made her laugh. Apparently, he had thought it was some kind of message relay system ... like asking the cabin boy if any messages had come through.

**_What message? Hello? Swan? What do you mean leave a message? I don't think this infernal device works, darling, I can't hear you. Bloody hell, I'll just come find you. This device needs repair. Oh... Oh... is it one way communication? Like that other device? I don't see a button, though... Oh, found it-"_**

Finally he found a button... the end button and the stream of irritated rambling clicked off abruptly. That had to be one of her favorites ... It had taken some explaining to tell him that even though it sounded like her... the recording was not actually her.

Her finger hovered over the Killian button before pressing it and pulling the phone to her ear. He almost always picked up... but he sometimes forgot to charge the thing... (_"No Killian...it's not magic."_) and perhaps he had yet again. It rang once then she heard his voice;

**Ready... Oh, now? Right. This is Killian, Record your communication and I'll address it with all due haste. Wait... how do I do that, love? Do they have to leave their own button so I can contact their device?** Her own voice broke into the recording in a whisper.** It's still recording Killian, I'll show you later. **The tone sounded and Emma almost hung up. Then she smiled slightly and brought the phone back up to her ear.

_"Hi Killian, I guess you forgot to charge it again. I was just calling to umm... Well... Look, I'm sorry about today, Killian. I shouldn't have tried to push you away. You just... well, you scared me today, pirate."_ She chuckled, _"I can't promise I'm going to stop pushing you away. I know you said you were good at surviving... and I know it's true but ... Frankly, I still don't like you being involved with all these magical... villain types. I guess I'm not going to be able to stop you, am I? Please just be careful." _She bit her lip before continuing, _"I meant what I said earlier. It would break me, do you understand?" _She paused. She was rambling and saying too much but she couldn't seen to stop herself._ "Let's make a deal you and I. No courting danger alone. If you promise to call me before you chase down our friendly neighborhood super-villain I'll do the same. Ok? Ok. I'm tired and I'm rambling so... Good night, Killian."_

She hung up and laid back on her bed. She had just finished a thorough evaluation of how absurd it had been to put that on a recording when her phone rang.

"Killian?"

"Hello, Swan. So the communication you recorded... It won't go away now? It will stay on my device until I remove it?"

Emma hesitated, warmth creeping onto her cheeks. "Yes, I'll show you how to delete them tomorrow."

"No need, lass."

"I thought you forgot to charge your phone... Did you forget how to answer it?"

"No."

"Lose it?... leave it somewhere?"

"No."

"Oh... so... why didn't you pick up?"

"I rather liked the idea of having your voice immortalized on my device, love."

"You know if you tell anyone about that message I'll deny it and make a deal with Gold to erase it from existence. Or ... you know just steal the phone and erase it. Somehow I doubt you've figured out how to put a pass lock on the thing."

"That's my pirate. Don't worry, darling, it will be our little secret. I very much enjoy having this side of the savior all to myself."

"Oh come on, Killian. It's just a phone message. Everyone deletes them after listening to them."

"Indeed? Tell me lass, do you have my voice on your device?"

"I dunno, I guess so," Emma said using her best indifferent tone.

"In that case perhaps I should be a little more verbose when I leave those messages."

"I just haven't gotten around to erasing them. No need to go all sentimental on me." Emma retorted, thankful he couldn't see her flaming cheeks.

She could practically hear him smirking over the phone. "Never, love. We're not the sentimental type at all."

* * *

**_Proctoring an exam and editing ff ... my students have no idea I'm such a softie._**

**_Also thanks to the guests working their way through my stories... i'm kinda sad I can't talk to you guys! especially whoever left a review that just said " *o*!o! " I don't know what that means but it sure looked exciting :P _**


	44. Not a chance in h-Swan? What is that?

"That's _not_ funny, Swan"

"What? It's for you! Don't you want to dress up for halloween? I won't make you do the perm but I do insist upon the hat."

"I have never worn anything so bright in three centuries. Not even when I was a navy man! I am _not_ putting on this coat." He shook his head, tossing the bright red jacket back at Emma. "Congratulations, Swan, you've managed to find the one thing in this world that I could possibly refuse you."

"Really, care to wager on that?"

"There is nothing you can say that will get me to put on that ridiculous feathered hat. I bloody refuse. No way in all h... Swan?... What is that?"

"Oh... well it's just what I was going to wear. But I guess if we're not dressing up..."

"Bloody hell. Is that-"

"Leather, yes. Don't you just love the smell of leather?"

His jaw was still half dropped and Emma teasingly placed a finger on his chin to press it closed. "I thought that if you went as your disney counterpart I could go as the real thing. Granted... I adjusted the look somewhat. I think the styling is authentic though, don't you?"

Killian swallowed hard, his eyes glued to the leather dress she'd pulled from her closet... like the one he'd seen her wear for the monkey, but this one had a scoop neck and a low back and ... Next she pulled out a red and black lace up corset and his jaw dropped again.

"You know Killian," she said, ignoring the effect she was having on him and examining the laces of the corset. "In this world you wear the corset on top."

"Give me the coat."

Emma grinned, "and the hat?"

"And the bloody hat."

She tossed him the hat and disappeared into the bathroom with her own costume; smiling as she heard him muttering curses as he put on the stark flowy white tunic and obnoxiously bright red coat.

She figured she might as well take advantage of the props she already had so once she had slipped on the dress she settled a belt low on her hips and put the sheath of her cutlass on one side and her Sig's holster on the other. No need to be less prepared just because she looked good!

Then came the hard part. She'd decided to go with the real thing ... a real lace up corset which took her some time to get on without assistance.

When she opened the door he was facing the mirror wearing the most obnoxious Captain Hook costume she'd been able to find. He muttered to himself irritably until he caught sight of her reflection in the mirror behind him. He turned slowly, taking in the sight with wide eyes.

"Is Captain Hook at a loss for words?" she asked teasingly, bending to slip on the boots to complete the look.

"You look-"

"I know, but I think the corset could be a little tighter, want to help me out?"

"You've no idea how much I want to help you.. out."

Emma grinned as he stepped forward his hand settling on her hip and pulling her forward into a heated kiss. Emma laughed and pulled away slightly, spinning so he was behind her. "That bottom knot... I'm not very good with knots and I'd hate for it to go anywhere."

His hand sliped up from her hip to her waist then with a quick tug she felt him pull out her clumsy knot. "You know lass, I'm more accustomed to removing these devices than I am to putting them on. This is... counter intuitive."

"I'm sure you can figure it out," Emma teased and a moment later he complied, going to one knee to take a lace in his teeth and finish the lacing with a solid knot. She turned again and he stood, his fingers lingering unnecessarily on the material of her dress on the way up. "You're trying to kill me," he murmured, toying with her blonde hair, curled for the occasion and spilling loose over her shoulders.

Emma pulled away, taking his hand and dragging him with her towards the door. "I'm an armed and dangerous pirate, Captain. You'd know if I was trying to kill you." She paused as she pushed open the door, looking contemplative. "I'm missing something..." she murmured. Her eyes flicked around the room until she spotted Killian's new jacket lying across a chair where he had laid it after changing. Skipping over to it she slipped it on. "I am going for authentic," she explained with a grin.

She took his hand to pull him towards the door again but he refused to budge, pulling her back and spinning her around slowly as though in a dance. "Come on, Killian," she said, "we have a party to get to!"

"I should warn you, lass" he said, finally allowing himself to be led from the room, "That knot... it's a good knot. You're probably going to need some..." he paused, "assistance in getting it untied later."

"You scoundrel," Emma teased.

"I prefer dashing rapscallion."

* * *

**Sorry I've gotten so slack about responding to reviews. I hope you all know that I love each and everyone and they make my day every time one pops un in my inbox. You guys are the best!**

**Happy Halloween **

**Obnoxious mom scream: "MAKE GOOD CHOICES!"**

**Be safe!**


	45. Volition 1 of 2

**Volition Part 1 of 2.** **Part 2 written but needs final editing. Be up tonight**.

**Oh, the Killian angst... Why do we do this to ourselves? *****Sigh* adam and eddy started it. **

****How is poor Killian going to get himself out of this mess...****

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_Volition: the free exercise of the will in determining a course of action._

* * *

It was bad enough that the Crocodile dared to speak Milah's name. The woman he had married. The one he swore to love and protect and in the end destroyed. The flicker of venomous pleasure with which he spat the name made Killian's blood boil. The crocodile was enjoying this (_damn him.)_

_Missed the taste of revenge?_

This was a nightmare. A dark fantasy ripped from the deepest fears of his soul. Except in his nightmares the Dark One always gave him that front row seat he had promised. She was always just out of his reach, just far enough that he couldn't save her. His stomach clenched painfully with every flicker of light from within that cursed house.

Threats just made the Crocodile sneer and he didn't so much as flinch when Killian finally broke, begging him not to do this. For his grandson's sake? For Baelfire's son? Surely that of all things would get through to him?

His son's memory didn't even make him hesitate. And why should it? Now as Killian looked into Rumpelstiltskin's eyes he realized that the man had never prioritized anything above power in his entire existence. Why would his grandson hold any claim over him? Much less the woman his son once loved.

Killian thought perhaps he had changed... for a single moment when he gave his life for his son, for Belle and the town. Then again... what are the chances Rumpelstiltskin; obsessed with power and survival as he was, wouldn't know that it wasn't over when he used that knife? Did he trust Belle would figure out how to bring him back. Did he suspect it might cost her life, or Neal's To bring him back? Perhaps he hoped she would manipulate someone else into making the sacrifice.

A man willing to do that to the woman he loved... what possible threat, taunt or bribe could change his mind?

He thought he had time. Time to decide what to do, how to tell Emma. The hat and the dagger and the fact that he was a lying scoundrel. Now his time was up. When the light faded for a moment he could have sworn his heart ceased to beat. Because what else in the world could cause all the light to fade from his world in an instant?

Then he saw the Crocodile's face.

Anger. Annoyance. Frustration.

It wasn't over.

He couldn't help it; he laughed. He wasn't entirely sure if it was the look on his enemy's face or if it was just a manic relief. He wasn't safe yet, not by a long shot, and if the venom in Gold's eyes was any indication this was going to be messy. Still he laughed. She was still alive. If she was still alive, there was still hope. Nothing else mattered.

Somehow, he felt no surprise as the Dark One ripped his heart from his chest. Anger; Fear; Certainly pain... but no surprise. He always knew it was going to end like this; with his heart in the Crocodile's hand.

Killian grimaced as the Crocodile clenched his fingers ever so slightly around a heart that was far too bright to be his. And yet, pain ripped through him. _Not yet._

_Not yet? _It had been decades. His death was long overdue by any rationale he could imagine. An ironic sense of wonder overcame Killian. Wonder that he had lasted so long, survived so much.

But not this.

He had promised her he was good at surviving. Just one more thing he had lied to her about, in the end. Even now, with his life rapidly drawing to its close he felt only relief. Rumpelstiltskin had failed. She was still alive.

"Just do it," he spat.

She will come out of that door flush with her victory. Finally having accepted that her magic was a part of her... a stunningly beautiful part of her. He would be here waiting for her. She won't have heard his message yet when she finds him...wouldn't know of his lies.

He tried not to think of the look on Emma's face when she finds him; perhaps not even cold yet, mere feet from the door that separated them.

Would she cry? Maybe even kiss him, one last time?

Would he feel it? Even after-

But the Crocodile didn't clench his hand; didn't turn his heart to dust.

_ There really are things worse than death. _

Rumpelstiltskin whispered a few words and though Killian couldn't hear them, he could feel them, pressing down into his chest, as irrepressible an urge as the beating of his lost heart.

"Keep my secrets, pirate. You'll know when it's time."

The restraints slipped away and he didn't even stop to think. Attacking the Dark One would just get him killed that much sooner. He couldn't let that happen, not until he was sure that Emma was safe. He ran. The Crocodile must have been laughing, but if he was, Killian didn't hear it as he ran for the manor. It was dark in the front foyer and he hesitated as he tried to remember which direction he had seen the light coming from. Then he heard laughter and he raced towards it.

She was still here. Still laughing. Still glad to see him. He pulled her into his arms clutching her close.

"She didn't do it," he heard Elsa say, "she didn't take away her magic."

He smiled at her as he pulled away, his relief making him grin like an idiot, no doubt. His gaze drank her in, trying to memorize every detail. He wanted to remember the way her lips twitched up to one side in that hint of a smirk. Her eyes, her lips teased him wordlessly.

"We'll find another way to defeat the Snow Queen. Together." When he kissed her it was possessive. '_Don't do that to me again_' it ordered (and begged.) It wasn't right though, A veil of the sheerest silk separated him from Emma. He hated it. He pushed forward harder, claiming her lips, desperately trying to tear through the veil.

The fire should be coursing through him, burning his veins with love and desire and ... God, this woman.

She could have been killed. He could have turned that corner and found an empty room. Not even a body would have remained. No way to hold her close and beg her to open her eyes, no last chance for true love's kiss to bring her back. No chance even to say goodbye or plead for forgiveness... Somehow Killian knew his life would have ended in that moment. Emma held him together. Without her how could he do anything but disintegrate into dust and be swept out to sea?

He wouldn't of course. That was impossible. Wasn't it?

He practically growled with frustration. This was no time for an intellectual evaluation of Emma's role in his life. Normally, when he kissed Emma his skin caught fire. His heart raced, he could hardly _breathe_, much less think. His heart wasn't racing now. Or if it was he couldn't feel it.

"Easy tiger, we've got company," she said through a grin and he realized he had lost control in his desperation to tear through the veil that separated them. Their company didn't seem particularly disturbed though. Elsa smiled a half-smile of sweet affection and Killian was filled with gratitude for the woman who had become so exactly what Emma needed right now.

_That would help, w__hen the time came._

He had to tell her.

He'd thought Charming a fool for not telling his wife he was going to die. Now he wasn't so sure. Why taint their final moments with the knowledge of the inevitable, if there was nothing that could be done? Or worse, what if something could be done? What if she tried to save him. _No one_ got between the Crocodile and his power he sure as hell didn't wasn't Emma there.

She had the right to know. He promised he wouldn't abandon her, the least he could do was make sure she knew that it was the last thing in all the world he wanted to-

As though on cue he felt a tightening in his chest. He heard himself telling her something about heading outside but the words weren't his. She clutched his collar for a moment as they left the room but then she let go and he fell behind. Anger bloomed hot as his legs led him into the room which had so recently held the crocodile's choice of murder weapon. He knelt and brushed his fingers along the box top. So small, delicate even. He should be able to crush it. Break it to pieces with his hook until it was good for nothing but kindling.

It was a stupid, vengeful impulse, one that he would probably not survive attempting. For better or for worse he'd no choice in the matter. Instead he picked it up and slipped it under his jacket.

The part of him that was still Killian scoffed. The Dark One had no reason to make Killian smuggle the box from the room. Nothing was stopping him from retrieving it himself. This was nothing more than the Crocodile's way of showing his dominance... But it was risky. The chance of Emma not noticing an obvious lump under his jacket which wasn't there before was close to nil.

The Dark One was arrogant.

Killian smiled, because he knew something the Crocodile didn't.

H_e was going to win._

The door opened behind him and he nearly collided with Emma on his way out of the room. He had stayed behind too long and she came back for him. He jumped in surprise and she cocked her head to one side.

"Killian? Are you sure you're all right?" she asked.

"Course, lass. Just a little shaken." He felt a twinge in his chest as the Crocodile warned him to be careful. He held the door open for her with one arm while doing his best to obscure the bulge in his jacket from her view. Her eyes flicked to it instantly.

"What is that?" Emma asked as he let the door fall shut behind them.

Killian pulled out the box and shrugged. "Whatever the Dark One planned on using to take your powers. We should return it to him. Probably not wise to have magical objects such as this scattered around town where anyone can pick them up."

Emma's family had arrived and Snow darted forward, hugging Emma tightly. Killian kept walking, giving them some space to talk. He didn't get far though, before Charming arrived on the scene. Instead of going to Emma, however, he made a beeline for Killian. Before Charming could speak Killian broke in. "She's safe, mate. Go talk to her."

"Killian I think we should-"

"Listen very carefully, mate. Your daughter needs you to talk to her. To tell her..." Another sharp twinge shot through his chest and Killian allowed himself to wince. Anything to let someone know things weren't right. But Gold saw no reason to allow such an obvious hint to escape his puppet. No trace of pain was reflected on Killian's face.

Charming looked confused and Killian practically pushed him towards Emma. "Go, _Tell her ..._ Tell her ...how pleased you are she decided to keep her magic. _Tell her."_

Charming watched in confusion as Killian stepped away; apparently to speak with Elsa about something. He shook his head and joined Snow and Emma near the car.

"Emma, did Killian call you?" he asked abruptly.

"About two dozen times, same as you."

"Did he leave you a message?"

Emma raised her eyebrows, but she patted down her pockets, finally discovering her cell in her jacket pocket. She glanced down and shook her head. "No, why?"

Charming handed her his phone and Emma brought it to her ear.

_"Mate? It's Killian. Why doesn't anyone answer these bloody things? I went to Gold's shop. Emma was here. If we don't find her he is going to kill her." _His voice broke and Emma looked up towards where Killian was standing.

Why would he call David? Killian's back was to her and for some reason it made her nervous. Charming moved to block her view. "Just listen"

"_I screwed up, Mate. I made a deal with the devil and he blackmailed me to assist him. He's lying to Belle. He's completely out of control and he wants Emma's __power. All you need to know right now is Emma is in danger. Rumpelstiltskin has this box and it turns into a hat... It will suck her in. I know this sounds mad but I've seen it. Helped him use the bloody thing myself. We have to stop her."_

There were sounds in the background now. Like wind and when his voice returned Killian sounded slightly short of breath.

_"I called Emma, spilled the whole bloody pathetic tale to her recording device but- I thought a recording would be enough once before and the Dark One destroyed it. I'd prefer to tell you in person but there's no time. I'm on my way to a place along the water. Few blocks south of where the Jolly used to dock. Dave, I lied to her. For the sake of a hand and pretending to be a normal man, a good man. I'll never forgive myself if- __God, I hope you're still listening. Look, I know I'm out of chances with you but I'm afraid he's going to stop me. Tell her. I need you to get there, please, in case I can't. Tell her-"_

_"_Why don't I have that message," Emma wondered. She moved to go talk to Killian but her father stopped her short.

"Something's wrong, Emma. He told me to tell you. Just now, he kept repeating it... I think he wanted me to let you hear that."

"I'm right here. Why not tell me himself?" Emma's face flushed, "I never took him for a coward."

"What's that he brought out of the house," Mary Margaret broke in.

"Apparently, what Gold used to try and kill me. Killian said we should return it to Gold. Why would he do that?"

Snow's eyes widened, "Perhaps the same reason a lost boy would deliver a message to Henry?"

Emma nodded.

"So what do we do about it?" Snow asked.

"_We_ don't do anything.". Fire glinted in Emma's eyes and she glared at Killian as though she could scorch the puppet master right through the leather of Killian's jacket. "_I_ however have quite a bit to do."

Emma squared her shoulders and started for Killian. Halfway across the distance her shoulders relaxed and she plastered an easy smile on her face. She looped her arm through his and he turned towards her.

"Have a nice chat with your father, lass?" he asked.

"I did. Very illuminating." She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. "Do you remember what you told me back in New York?"

_I came back to save you, _echoed in his head and Killian was suddenly grateful the Dark One did not have access to his thoughts, at least.

"Of course," he replied, a small smile starting to spread on his face.

"It's my turn."

_She knew. _His smile spread into a grin that the Crocodile could neither see nor understand. Killian wasn't going to win after all.

Emma was.

Elation waged war with fear in his mind. Emma Swan could take care of herself but... against Gold?

"I'll take the box," Emma said lightly, reaching for it.

A sharp pain ripped through Killian and his volition evaporated once more.

"This is a dangerous object, love. Perhaps I better keep it. I've no magic for it to sap away."

"Sure, Killian," Emma teased, keeping her tone as light as she could. "Your aversion to magic certainly makes you the most qualified to transport such an object back to Gold!"

"I really must insist, we wouldn't want an accident to take your magic now you've decided to embrace it."

Emma frowned slightly. "You're acting very strange, Killian. Maybe that box is effecting you somehow. Perhaps I ought to have Belle look into it..."

Killian laughed and handed the box over. "I assure you, all is well Emma."

Emma nodded. "I'm going to drop by the house and check on Neal and Belle, then I'll head to Gold's shop."

"Would you like some company?" he asked.

"Actually, Elsa and I were talking earlier," Elsa turned when she heard her name and moved to join them. "She was just telling me how much she enjoyed walking along the harbor back in her land." Emma caught just the tiniest flicker of confusion in Elsa's eyes before the woman nodded enthusiastically. "Perhaps you could give her a tour of the docks?"

_In the middle of the night? Subtle, Emma._ Killian thought. But he just nodded and kissed Emma on the cheek before offering his arm to Elsa. "After you, milady?"

They hadn't gotten far when out of the corner of his eye Killian saw that Gold had arrived to take things into his own hands. A chill passed through him as Gold started towards Emma. What was to stop him from sucking Emma into that hat the moment she handed over the box?

"No-" he muttered. Something inside him snapped. He may not be in complete control of his faculties but hell if he was going to let Emma face the Crocodile alone. Not if he could do something about it...He turned to Elsa. "Elsa, listen to me. Gold-" his throat closed up and Killian cursed. "Freeze him solid Elsa. I can't explain but please, if you've any love for Emma, stop him. Freeze him solid."

Elsa looked confused but when she turned to face Killian she must have seen the panic in his eyes. Without a second thought an icy blast flew across the distance separating them. The Dark One, whose back was to Elsa, never saw it coming. Emma however had time only to widen her eyes in horror before Rumpelstiltskin froze on the spot.

Elsa ran towards Emma. "Why did you do that?" Emma asked her, voice shaking.

"Killian, he told me the Dark One intended you harm. He told me to stop him if I wanted to protect you. Are you hurt?"

Emma didn't respond, rushing past Elsa back towards Killian. When Elsa turned to follow, her jaw dropped. Standing precisely where she had left him stood Killian Jones, also completely frozen.

* * *

**Oops. Did I do that. **

**I won't make you wait long for the conclusion. Almost done... just final edits.**


	46. Volition 2 of 2

Up tonight as promised. (barely)

Also my bonus scenes and epilogues are back for reviewers. But I'm playing catch up. So If you get a random bonus scene in your inbox from a few chapters back...that's why. Love you guys!

* * *

**_Volition (2 of 2)_**

_Volition: the free exercise of the will in determining a course of action._

* * *

Elsa ran towards Emma. "Why did you do that?" Emma asked her, voice shaking.

"Killian, he told me the Dark One intended you harm. He told me to stop him if I wanted to protect you. Are you hurt?"

Emma didn't respond, rushing past Elsa back towards Killian. When Elsa turned to follow, her jaw dropped. Standing precisely where she had left him stood Killian Jones, also completely frozen.

Elsa gasped, "Oh, Emma... I'm so sorry. He- he told me to- why would he-"

"Gold had his heart," Emma murmured, running her fingers along his frozen features. His face was contorted in pain or possibly fear. Even though the ice made her fingers sting she couldn't pull away.

Elsa put a hand on her arm. "Emma, I'm so sorry-"

"Does it hurt?" She asked Elsa quietly, "Is he in pain right now?"

Elsa looked down, "I never dared ask Anna. But I... I doubt he feels anything ... at the moment."

Mary Margaret who had kept her distance until now hurried forward, David a step behind. Emma didn't miss the look of wistfulness that crossed Elsa's face as they hugged Emma.

She reached out and took Elsa's hand. "This was his decision Elsa. I don't blame you, you know that right?"

Elsa nodded, her features still downcast. "I can try to thaw Killian but unless I thaw Gold too it won't work."

Emma shook her head. "He bought me time. I'm going to use it. Come on, I need to have a conversation with Belle."

* * *

Belle and Henry were playing what looked to be a highly competitive game of Operation when they arrived and Neal was sleeping off dinner.

"Belle," Emma said hurriedly, "I need you to do something. It's very important."

"What is it?" she asked worriedly.

"I need you to use that dagger Gold gave you."

Belle shook her head. "I can't do that, Emma."

"Belle, you don't understand-"

"No. You don't understand," she looked down suddenly, as though embarrassed. "I _can't_."

"You've tried?" Snow asked in surprise.

Belle nodded. "I woke up from a nightmare and he was gone. I was so frightened when I couldn't find him I... I tried to summon him. I thought he would forgive me when he realized how frightened I was. He never came. Not for hours anyway..."

Emma felt sudden compassion for the woman as she watched Belle fight back tears. Finally she shook her head and wiped them away. "I've been ... hoping he would tell me himself."

"Belle, we can't wait anymore," Emma said carefully. "He tried to kill me, tried to suck me into this magic...thing that would give him my power as his own. He ripped out Killian's heart while he was trying to save me. Elsa stopped him by using her powers but now they're both frozen."

Belle's eyes widened and she made a small gasp of dismay, "No."

Snow wrapped her arm around Belle's shaking shoulders. "Elsa can unfreeze them, Belle. I'm sure she can. Maybe you can still get through to him?"

Emma shook her head. "It's too late for that. If he realizes Killian is of no more use to him what's to stop him from just crushing his heart to dust."

"He wouldn't," Belle whispered.

"He was ready to kill me just an hour ago. Do you think he would hesitate to hurt a man he despises? I can't risk that."

Belle shook her head again. "So what would you do! Kill him? Emma, I can talk to him, please."

"But I can't lose Killian either. Please, please help me save him."

"What would you have me do?"

Emma smiled. "I need you to order him to give me Killian's heart. After I have it you can talk to him all you want."

"But the dagger, it isn't-"

"He'll obey," Emma said confidently, "To keep his secret."

Another tear slipped down Belle's face, but finally she nodded.

"Mom, Dad I need you to stay here. Make sure Henry and Neal are safe. I don't want Gold to be able to acquire another trump card."

"He wouldn't," Belle insisted.

Snow tightened her arm around the woman's shoulders. "Hopefully you're right. But he tried to kill Emma already. We can't risk him hurting anyone else."

Belle nodded. "Where are they?"

* * *

Emma, Belle and Elsa returned to the docks. A few tears slipped down Belle's face when she saw Gold but her eyes were hard and she clenched the fake dagger with a white-knuckled grip.

"Alright," Emma said, "When Elsa unfreezes them there will be a moment of confusion. You have to take center stage, Belle. Tell him you know that he took Killian's heart. Don't show any doubt. If he thinks you are not 100% confident he'll just claim he doesn't have it and he won't have to give us Killian's heart to avoid revealing the fake dagger. It all rests on your confidence in that blade."

Belle nodded, not trusting her voice just yet, and Emma glanced at Elsa.

Elsa held out her hands and the ice began to melt away from the Dark One. Finally the last of the ice slipped away and Gold's eyes locked onto Belle "Belle?" He said in confusion, his eyes immediately dropped to the dagger in her hand. "I thought you were watching Neal tonight?"

"Rumple, we know you took his heart."

Rumpelstiltskin raised his eyebrows, "Whose heart?"

"Please don't lie to me anymore Rumple, " Belle said sternly. She pulled out the dagger and raised it slowly. "I order you to give his heart to Emma."

"Belle? When I gave you that dagger I trusted you to-"

"And I trusted you!" she interrupted, eyes blazing. "I won't let you do this Rumple. I order you Dark One, return Killian's heart to Emma. Immediately."

Gold's face fell and he slipped his hand into a coat pocket to expose a vibrant glowing heart. His grip on the precious organ was by no means gentle and Emma heard killian groan softly from the other side of the dock. She winced, hurrying to take it from him. She reached for it. The moment the heart passed to her grip, Gold clasped his hands around hers, forcing her fingers inwards. Killian let out a cry and Elsa rushed to his side, attempting to support him as he fell to his knees.

"I should do you this favor, Savior," Gold muttered, clenching his hands tighter around hers. "Do you really know who that man is?"

"Killian?" Emma could just barely hear Elsa murmuring. "Hold on Killian, it's going to be ok."

He couldn't seem to manage any response more eloquent then half-moaned "Emma-"

Elsa tried to help him up but he was dead weight, his legs refused to support him as another wave of pain came over him. Tiny snowflakes danced around them, whipping faster and faster as Elsa's panic grew. Emma tried to pull away from Gold but any attempt to free herself from Gold's grasp just resulted in an immediate cry from Killian.

"Gold, let me go," she said.

"He's a pirate, Miss Swan. He'll never be anything but a pirate who takes what doesn't belong to him-"

"Really?" Emma asked in disbelief, fighting to push back against his grip. Gold was still forcing her fingers inwards and as they dug into Killian's heart Emma's vision grew blurry with unshed tears ... still, she held his gaze. "You literally just ripped his heart from his chest!"

_Please, not like this. Not with my own hands. Not ever._

"I should have done it years ago, when he stole her. He told me to fight him for her. Threw me a rusty blade as if that would be a fair fight. Now I fight him on _my_ terms."

"You murdered her," Killian cried, "is that how you fight for the woman you love?"

"Listen to me," Emma said rapidly, "Is this the man Belle married? The one who kills without remorse?"

"I should have done this years ago, when he left my son motherless."

"_You_ left your son motherless," Killian struggled to stand but fell again as Gold's grip tightened. "And you tried to do the same to your own grandson."

"Gold, do you really want to do this?" Emma looked to Belle for help. She was still, her mouth half open and her eyes filled with horror. "Do you really want to add one more casualty to the list, right in front of Belle?"

"Rumple," Belle asked softly, stepping forward and finally finding her voice. "Please. Please stop." Gold looked up at her, distracted for just a moment. Emma's free hand shot towards Gold and a wave of her magic pulsed outward. Gold's hand was thrown off of her and he stumbled back.

Emma examined the heart in her palm carefully then smiled, "What do you suppose yours would look like, Crocodile?" she asked. Without looking back she ran towards Killian.

"Get Gold out of here, Elsa." Emma muttered when she reached them. "I don't care where you send them just get him out of my sight." She briefly entertained the idea that it wasn't wise to leave Gold and Belle alone for the conversation that was sure to follow. In the end she reasoned that if Belle wanted to kill her husband it was none of her buisness. More paperwork later, but for the moment Emma couldn't bring herself to care. Gold could lie, manipulate, kill, and betray Belle's trust over and over but somehow Emma still did not believe he was capable of physically harming her. That was something at least.

She cradled Killian's heart gently in both hands and dropped to her knees next to him. "Are you-" she whispered, then stopped. It was a stupid question. The knees of his pants and the palm of his hand were dirty and scraped from his struggles to stand. Even his tunic was crumpled and muddy from where he'd clutched at his chest. She raised one hand to brush her fingers into his disheveled hair. "I'm so sorry." She finally murmured, "I never should have gone to Gold." He brushed his hand clean of dust on his tunic as he pulled himself upright again.

"It's all right, Emma. I should have told you sooner."

"I don't know how to fix this. I've never put a heart back. We should find Regina... she's kind of the expert." Her hands were shaking and he raised his fingers to brush her jaw. "I don't trust anyone else with my heart but you, love. You can do it."

She raised his heart to where she had seen Regina put Henry's. She had just kind of... pushed, right? She pushed the heart and Killian winced.

"Oh God, Killian I can't do this. This is insane, Regina should-"

He cut off her words with a kiss. "You can, love. I'll not have anyone else touch it."

"I might hurt you."

"Isn't that always the risk when you give someone your heart," he teased, leaning in to kiss her nose.

She bit her lip and raised his heart again between them. She pressed forward and suddenly Killian gasped as her hand slipped through him, restoring his heart to it's normal position. Warmth spread through to the tips of his fingers and the veil that had clouded his mind slipped away.

He leaned forward to touch his forehead to hers. He chuckled slightly. Quietly at first and then louder. A moment later he was pulling her close, running his fingers through her hair and laughing openly.

"Killian? Did I ... Do something wrong?" Emma asked in concern when his laughter didn't slow.

"My Swan" he whispered in her ear, "My love." His warm breath tickled her ear and butterflies filled her stomach at the endearment. "I didn't think I'd get the chance to tell you. You deserve to hear it properly- "

"I love you," Emma blurted out.

He rubbed his thumb gently down her jaw, "I do believe I was the one telling you that," he said, adorably confused that she had usurped his moment.

"You already have. So you finally figured out you wanted to use the...proper words... while you had no heart?" Emma asked, eyebrows raised.

"I figured that out the first time your lips touched mine," he replied, "I love you, Emma. Every day you were in New York I swore to myself that when I saw you again I would tell you. But I feared you would run."

"I"m not running," Emma said.

"I did notice that," Killian said, leaning in to kiss her forehead. "I love you, Emma."

She smiled and tried to kiss him but he kissed her cheek instead, then her eyelids, murmuring, "I love you," after each light brush of his lips.

"You mentioned that," Emma teased, growing frustrated when he refused to meet her lips. He kissed her nose next and the edge of her jaw.

"I've a lot of lost time to make up for. I've almost told you a hundred times, Swan. In New York, in that field where you saved me from Zelena. The hospital afterwards. God, Emma, after our dance. I wanted to tell you then, so badly it felt as though the words were tearing their way from my chest. I love you."

"Killian?"

"Yes, Emma?"

"Stop talking and kiss me properly."

"As you wish."

And later that night when they were watching The Princess Bride on Netflix with Henry and her parents and a human ice maker she may have blushed and Killian may have squeezed her hand when he realized that in fact, she had always known.

* * *

**Here *confetti* have some fluff... *confetti* have some more fluff. **

**We're all drowning in fluff **

***fireworks.***

**Feel better now?**

**:)**


	47. Shattered Sight

She was supposed to be protecting her brother, defeating the Snow Queen, saving the town. But Elsa was protecting her brother and defeating the Snow Queen would just have to wait. She couldn't do this without him ...

It had taken her a few minutes to realize what was wrong. Then, as she held her baby brother close, trying to shield him from the curse, suddenly she realized why things felt so wrong. It wasn't that he looked like he was trying desperately to memorize her face in those moments before he spoke. (That same look he'd given her after he'd found her in that old manor...) It wasn't even that he kissed her like it was the end of the world. He always kissed her like it was the end of the world, and in this town, who could blame him? Was it that 'one more time' sounded like 'one last time'?

It was what he didn't say that tied knots in her stomach long after he was gone. Her parents told her they trusted her. That she could do it. That she would defeat the Snow Queen and break the curse and come free them.

Killian just held her close and said goodbye. He thought this was the end. He didn't think she could defeat the Snow Queen. Killian, who _always_ believed in her thought that she was going to fail.

_No_.

She knew it wasn't true before the thought had even finished forming in her mind. This was Killian. If he thought she was going to her death with a plan that would fail he would say something. He would have helped her come up with a better plan. Hell, he probably would have tried to hunt down the Snow Queen himself. Still, he had been acting strange ever since she had decided to keep her magic.

The shards of mirror were finally starting to settle, slowing down ever so gradually. Still, Emma kept herself hunched over her brother. She had no idea if an infant could be affected by such a curse, but if there was any chance that she could protect him she would.

_How the hell did Killian even find her at that manor, anyway,_ she wondered. He hadn't been with Elsa with the tracking spell. Or the others that found her car. Only one person knew she was going there and that was Gold. Gold had been acting weird too, she realized. Hovering around the fairies was not his general preference for how to spend his down time. And where had Killian been all day. There were hours left before a curse turned them all into monsters and Killian was just what...hanging out by the docks until the moment before the curse hits?

Without warning she felt heat rush to her cheeks in anger.

Rumpelstiltskin ... He did something.

* * *

She ran towards the docks, ignoring everything around her except the box clutched to her chest. When the docks came into view she could see him in the distance, a still form leaning against the mast of a ship that didn't belong to him. It made her think of the stories she'd read as a child. Of sailors tying themselves to the mast to avoid falling victim to the calls of sirens. He wasn't straining for freedom, though. He must have, before he fell, because his wrist was rubbed raw underneath the metal cuff that had held him in place. She sank down next to him and shook his shoulder gently, calling his name.

_He can't be gone. __I got back his heart from the Dark One. If his heart is safe, how could he be gone?_

Rumpelstiltskin had not wanted to give up Killian's heart without a fight. It wasn't until Emma had threatened to undo the enchantment on his shop and let Lacey out to play that he finally gave in. Or so she had thought. He reached for a leather satchel and pulled out Killian's heart. Emma saw the gleam in his eyes and knew what he was going to do the second before he clenched his fist closed. Emma screamed and white light filled the room, throwing the Dark One back. Emma dove forward just in time to catch the heart falling from his grip.

"Killian, please wake up," Emma repeated. She pushed him onto his side and saw, to her relief that he was still breathing. That's when she found the paper, crumpled up and tossed to the deck like so much garbage. She picked it up skimming it quickly when she saw it was in his handwriting.

_Emma,_

_First things first, love. Rumpelstiltskin is a lying git. More so than usual, I mean. I've no idea if or when you'll find this letter and so I'll tell you that which compromises your safety first. Belle has no idea, but the dagger he gave her is a fake. He's determined to accumulate enough power to sever himself from the dagger entirely and he intended to destroy you in the process. That's why he agreed to take your magic; he has a magic hat that can suck in wielders of magic. Do not trust him._

_It is difficult for me to even determine what else to include in this letter. At any moment the Crocodile may choose to end my existence. If he doesn't, the curse may take away my mind before I can finish regardless. If there's any mercy in this world he'll kill me before the curse gets here so that I can go thinking only of the taste of your lips._

_There is so much I want to tell you, but really what it comes down to is I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry. I've let myself become the Crocodile's puppet and he's made me do horrors. And now I am breaking my promise to you. I need you to know that I loved you. I love you. You must know of course, but you deserve the words before I go. I know I shouldn't have told you that. In fact, I should scratch out the words right now because I know what it's like to not be able to say them back. I can't do that though, and I'm sorry for that too._

_I wanted to stay with you, until the bitter end. The end has come so much sooner than I hoped but I'd not trade my time with you for centuries without. (Don't scoff love; I'm one of the few in this world that can say such a thing with full knowledge of that choice.) Your presence has been a beacon of light and I can never express how thankful I am for that._

_The Crocodile has made it near impossible for me to tell you any of this. I left you a message on your phone which he must have eliminated. I tried to tell you and my tongue caught in my throat. Tried to write you and my hand became paralyzed. But now it seems nothing is stopping me from writing. I can only guess that it is because the Crocodile thinks it won't matter. I can only hope that you will discover it on my person - after all this is over - and that it will give you more comfort than pain._

_It's nearly here; I haven't much time. It sounds like a bloody gale. I hope you're safe, darling. This whole town is about to go mad and you will be nearly alone against the worst of every person in this town. This town is full of monsters like the one who holds my heart. I don't know what the bloody hell I was thinking, chaining myself here to protect _them_. I should be out there. Destroying them before they destroy you. Genius that I am I threw the key halfway to the boathouse._

_Not that you would appreciate the effort of eradicating the scum trying to kill you. That's not what hero's do, right? Hero's tie themselves to the bloody mast to die for the monsters._

_Since when do I go down without a fight? I guess that's what happens when you spend too much time with you hero types. Self-preservation becomes 'selfish' in your eyes, doesn't it? It sure is easy to make a decision for the greater good of the town when you're always part of the greater good you're trying to save._

_Bloody hell, this is how Captain Hook dies? With a tearful goodbye letter under the thumb of his worst enemy? Do you know why Rumpelstiltskin was able to take my heart, dear? Because I went running after you, to try to save you. Again. Because Emma Swan ran away _again_. Some bloody savior._

_I hope you're finally happy lass, you've killed me._

_You killed me a long time ago, the day I turned the Jolly Roger around to come back._

At that point he must have grown fed up because the letter abruptly ended.

Somehow she'd assumed that he would be unaffected by the curse. That perhaps because his heart was safe he might be safe. Now she held his heart in one hand, and the evidence that her Killian was gone in the other. She put the key that would free him carefully in the box she had taken from Gold and placed them both outside his reach before returning to his side, still clutching the letter in one hand. She shouldn't wake him. She should break the curse first. But she didn't know how. Killian was always the one that helped her harness her magic. Otherwise it seemed like she could only manage random outbursts of power when others were in danger.

"Swan?"

She jumped, pulling her eyes from his letter and blinking away the tears.

"Aren't you supposed to be off saving the world or some such nonsense?" He looked different. It wasn't the half smirk. No, it was more than that. It was in his eyes.

"Are you all right, Killian?"

"I will be, once you take off these bloody chains." Emma hesitated and Killian narrowed his eyes. In an instant his hand was at her throat. "Can't you do this one little thing for me? It is your fault I'm in this mess in the first place."

"I never meant for this to happen," she managed to croak out.

"Just like you never meant for me to get dragged back to Neverland, cursed back to the enchanted forest, without my ship mind you, then give up the only home I've ever had to follow you around New York like a little lost puppy." He replaced his hand with his hook, and she gasped for air.

"I have to go get the key," she whispered.

"I don't believe you, pet. I think you have the key right in your pocket and what I'm wondering is why I don't just take it off your corpse?"

"I have your heart, Killian, and the key. Just over there."

His eye darkened in obvious rage, "I'm getting real sick of people telling me what to do."

"I wasn't going to-" she broke off when his hand searched out her jacket pocket, and he grumbled irritably when he found them empty.

"Swan's little pet pirate. Bloody fantastic," he grumbled, releasing her. She stumbled away coughing. This was a terrible idea. Emma picked up the box. _Don't do that,_ said a voice in her head that sounded suspiciously like Killian.

"I'm going to give it back to you," she told him hovering just outside his reach._ Terrible terrible idea._

"Really?" Killian looked perplexed for a moment. She picked up the key from the box and put it in her pocket. His look of confusion only grew. She was making it too easy. If she just left the key outside his reach he'd have no choice but to let her escape.

"Yes, so I suggest you not murder me until I've returned it."

"And you're just going to give it back? And then what? Keep me under your power, in your debt forever? Just give me the key now, lass, and perhaps you don't have to die."

"No, Killian. I happen to think you won't kill me once you have your heart back. So I'm not giving you the key until your heart is back where it belongs."

She took his heart from the box and held it in both hands, stepping forward to within his reach. The moment he could reach her he grasped her forearm tightly as though to prevent her from crushing the heart she held so carefully between them.

"And what's to stop me from putting my hook through your heart the moment you return mine?" His tone was halfway between a threat and a warning and his eyes were all confusion. He didn't understand. He honestly couldn't seem to figure out what her game was, and it was driving him crazy.

"I guess I'm trying something new-"

"Trust," he finished without thinking, eyebrows furrowed.

"Yes, trust. This is a stupid idea but I love you, Killian, and I need you back if I'm going to defeat the Snow Queen."

She didn't know what she was doing, to be perfectly honest, but Regina was right about one thing; she worked on instinct. So she closed her eyes and pushed. She had no idea if it was working but his grip tightened on her forearm and then he released her. For a moment she allowed herself to hope before she felt his hook at her throat again.

"Now Princess, I'll take that key." He didn't wait for her to offer it, instead simply shoving his hand into her pocket and releasing himself. She turned and elbowed him hard enough to make him buckle. His hook fell away from her throat for just long enough for her to try to duck under his arm.

His good hand closed on her wrist like a vice as she tried to escape and she felt the handcuffs lock onto one wrist.

"How do you like it, Princess?" he muttered, chuckling as she fought to pull herself free. She kicked out at his shin but he pulled away jerking her backwards with him. She stumbled and he locked her other wrist behind the mast.

"Killian, please, don't do this."

"So informal. You royals have no respect for anyone else. We're all just pawns in your little games aren't we?"

"That's not true, Killian, why would I give you your heart back if I wanted a pawn?" He hesitated, the shattered sight spell preventing him from being able to fathom anything but selfish reasons.

"You'll not pull me in again, siren." He turned and stalked away, and Emma was torn between fear and relief.

"Where are you going?"

"Well you're not going anywhere, dear and I need time for you. I groveled for you lass, and you'll do the same before I'm done. For now, there are several other Royals and a Dark One that need my attention. Don't fret, little love, I'll be back for you."

"Killian don't, please. He'll kill you. You have your heart back now, you can fight this." He turned to her again, taken aback. Soon his eyes hardened and he smirked.

"I'll just have to start with the Royals then, just in case."

She reached for her magic as he walked away. Shouldn't she be able to get out of a simple set of restraints? Everyone was always telling her she had so much power but now as she tried to break free of the handcuffs she found herself paralyzed. Like in the ice cave. And Killian was almost out of sight.

She cursed to herself, trying to use her anger like when she had blown out the wall of the sheriff station. How was she supposed to defeat the ice Queen when she couldn't even defeat a piece of metal behind her back?

* * *

Regina's office was closest, Killian reasoned, so might as well start with the littlest royal. If there was one way to break his arrogant captive- this was it. (Besides, it's not like her parents were going anywhere fast.)

He hesitated outside the door. Regina said she would be placing some kind a protection spell but noting looked unusual to him. He reached out and pushed the door open. It was locked but not magically guarded, anymore at least. It wasn't a strong lock, Regina was certainly not used to relying on physical locks The moment he stepped inside his feet flew out from under him and he landed on his back with a groan.

Magic?

Not quite. The floor was covered in tiny balls.

_Little brat,_ he thought pulling himself to his feet.

"Come out, lad. Your mother is waiting for us." There was not a sound as Killian felt his way along the wall. He flipped the light switch but the room stayed dark. "Henry, where are you?" Killian asked in an exasperated tone, searching for movement in the darkness.

"Where is my mom? Why didn't she come?" Henry's voice called from the other side of the room. Killian hurried towards the sound but before he could reach the other side of the room he tripped, falling face first over the lamp cord Henry had stretched out a few inches above the ground.

"Bloody hell!" Killian cried, pulling himself up and trying to hear which direction the shuffling footsteps had gone. "I don't have time for this, lad."

He moved slower now, in case Henry had strung up anymore trip wires. Suddenly a light, bright in the darkness of the room, appeared behind the curtain. Killian hurried over and tore the curtain to the side and caught a glimpse of Henry, his cell phone giving off the telling light. Then Henry threw something in his face and his eyes began to burn. He reached out, blinking his watering eyes, and grasped Henry's shoulder just as he tried to slip away, holding him in place as the burning subsided. "What the bloody hell was that?"

"Cinnamon," Henry spat. "Let go of me. I texted my mom, she'll kill you."

"She's a little tied up at the moment, lad. Sorry to disappoint. I'll be sure to tell her you said goodbye. He drew his hook back and ... hesitated...

_He's just a little royal,_ his mind screamed. He knew Royals were deceptive cruel tyrants better to get rid of them now before they destroy anything else. Still he couldn't seem to bring himself to end the brat's life. He released Henry's shoulder and the boy ran, but Hook didn't even bother turning to see where he went. He spun on his heel and hurried out of Regina's office in the direction he had come. _This is her fault. She must have done something._ An instant later his hook vanished and Killian cursed.

He turned a corner and came face to face with a livid Will Scarlett. "Oi, You!" The man cried, "I've been looking all over for you, mate. We have to have ourselves a little chat."

"I'm actually a little busy at the moment, _mate,_" Killian retorted.

"Yes, well it was more a metaphorical kind of chat. The kind where I hit you frequently."

"Don't you have a public building to break into?" Killian commented, raising his eyebrows.

"Oh, Bugger you."

"No thank you." Killian responded, ducking to the side as Will charged him, slamming his attacker into the wall. He pulled back his fist to continue the 'chat' with Scarlett but for a moment his world went dark. When he opened his eyes he was back at the docks. The Dark One was standing in front of him and the Swan girl was unconscious on the dock at his feet. The cuffs were broken though, and his hook lay next to her. He snapped it back into place as he watched the Dark One.

"You brought me here?" Killian asked furiously, glancing down at the woman at his feet. An unexpected impulse made him step forward between her and the Crocodile. "What did you do to her?"

"She's only sleeping. It turns out I have need of her after all. When Miss Swan used her magic to steal your hook, I was able to track her here. But she was rambling about protecting Henry and I couldn't have you harming my grandson in the meantime. As I told you, he is coming with me." Rumpelstiltskin pulled out the sorcerer's hat and Killian's blood froze.

_Get out of the way. He doesn't want me, he wants her. Get out of the way. _

_Not her!_

Killian grunted in frustration as the Dark One pulled out his dagger. The same sick feeling he had gotten when he had tried to destroy Henry was back with a vengeance, and he crouched next to Emma. _Not her. Please, not her. _He tried to smother the voice, to drown it out with curses but it wouldn't be silent and panic was coiling in his stomach making him nearly nauseous. The hat was sparkling in the Crocodile's hand now and he turned it towards them.

"Really pirate?" the Crocodile asked, "well this will be an interesting experiment." Somehow the woman was now in Killian's arms; and he'd placed himself between her and the hat, his back to the Dark One.

_Idiot._

The wind is rushing past him and he's out of time. His eyes are burning, tears fill his eyes and he's not sure if it's the wind, or if it's the woman slipping through his arms.

_Not her._

_Bloody idiot. Get out of the way._

She's not breaking free... she's breaking apart. The angry voice in his mind falls silent as he tries to hold Emma tighter. Hold her together.

_Please. Please, not her._

"No, no, no, Emma, please."

Seconds left and all he can think of to do is to kiss her. One more time. One last time. He kisses her gently, tightening his arms around her as the wind tries to tear her away from him. He can't feel her lips on his anymore and the colored light flashing around him is blinding. There's a last flash of light and a cry rips itself from his lips. Then he's falling, falling forward, not backward, into the space where Emma had just been. He catches himself, his hook slamming into the dock in frustration and anguish.

The Crocodile will try to kill him now too, but Killian doesn't even bother to turn around. He sits up; arms limp at his side, his back still to the Dark One. _Just do it._ He wants to say, but that's never gotten him anywhere before. Perhaps he should beg for his life. Maybe that would be enough incentive for the Crocodile to just end him rather than turn him into his pet again?

"Is everyone alright?" asked a soft voice that he didn't recognize. "Blue, hey blue, are you alright?"

_Blue?_

He spun around. The fairies were pulling themselves to their feet and Emma... _Emma _was on her hands and knees, one hand cradling her head.

"Swan?" he asked in disbelief. She turned around and her eyes widened.

"Killian!"

He jumped to his feet in a second, ran to her, crashing back down to his knees beside her. She clung to him, as hard as he clung to her; kissing her neck and her cheek and clasping her so hard it was almost uncomfortable. The fairies were starting to talk amongst themselves and some of them finally noticed he was there. When he opened his eyes they were looking right back at him in horror.

"You-" Blue finally said in surprise, "What did you do?"

"Saved you, it seems," Emma said without turning.

"Saving us?" Blue turned confused eyes to Killian, "you put us in there!"

"I meant what I said," Killian broke in, "I am truly sorry, I was not under my own power."

Blue looked skeptical but Emma finally pulled away from Killian and turned to face them. "He wasn't. I can attest to that. Speaking of which... where is Gold?"

Killian shook his head, "I don't know, love, I had my back to him the whole time."

"I just remember waking up, and you were kissing me and then suddenly I was on my knees surrounded by a bunch of fairies and he was gone.

Killian glanced over at the hat wonderingly. "You kept the hat from taking you, and pulled out the last people it took. You don't think perhaps the hat felt the need to fill the vacancy?"

Emma shook her head. "I don't know. But we'll have to worry about that later." She turned to the fairies, "Can you get back to Granny's? We still have to deal with the Snow Queen." They nodded and hurried off and Emma turned back to Killian. "We have to get back to the station. Elsa is there, watching Neal. I don't really have a plan but now at least we have some uncursed fairies on our side."

"Emma I'm sorry about the things I said. You know I didn't mean it?"

Her eyes widened in sudden remembrance. "Henry! Killian, is Henry ok?"

He nodded quickly, "Yes, of course. I couldn't do it, thank God. I turned around and started heading back here. I assumed you must have done something to my heart to keep me from being able to hurt your son." He chuckled, "I guess I was partially right."

"I suppose we better get on saving the world or some such nonsense, aye cap'n?" she asked. He nodded but just wrapped an arm around her, pulling her into another hug. "Just because I can, love," he murmured into her ear.

"We really have to go," she repeated but when he moved to stand she locked her arms around him and held him in place. "Thank you, Killian."

"For ... kidnapping the fairies, insulting you, tying you up and trying to murder you and your entire family?"

She kissed him lightly, "For waking me up. You saved me."

"You saved me first, love," he kissed her forehead and stood, pulling her up with him. "Come on, lass. Time to save the world."

* * *

**So I don't actually think it will go like this (I'm kind of partial to the theory that Killian will be immune to the curse... but we'll see. ) Can't wait until sunday, but hopefully you enjoyed this version. This started out with the letter. I thought it would be interesting to 'watch' the curse take hold in someone's mind. Then I kind of just kept going...**

**Still not caught up on those bonus scenes but now that I'm done with writer's block I'll try to get back to those and these shorts. I have epilogues for chapters 25 through 43 and then started up again here on chapter 47. If I missed you just shoot me a message and I'll be happy to send them out to you! **


	48. Free as the Sound of the Sea (1 of 2)

Lieutenant Duckling fic for my wonderful valentine emmaspirate on tumblr

* * *

_She wasn't coming. _

He saw her by the docks sometimes, watching the ships sail in and out of the port. He thought perhaps he saw a longing there that echoed his own. Of course he noticed her.

She was gorgeous, and he was far from the only sailor to see her lingering there. They watched her because she was the Princess. A king's daughter with the wealth of a kingdom stitched into her dresses. Killian watched her because the dresses made her fidget. She smoothed them constantly as though she wished to be rid of them.

_There was something familiar about it,_ he reflected, tugging at his own dress blues.

This afternoon was the first day she hadn't been hurried through the docks by her father. She came alone (or as alone as she ever was.) Two of her father's palace guards hovered not so subtlety in the crowds behind her, eyes alert for any that should wish to harm her.

She slowed as she walked by, as she always did when the Jewel of the Realms was in port, and Killian felt a vague pride for his lady. The fastest and most bloody beautiful ship in port by far.

He didn't know what occurred to him to call out to her. He was securing the gangplank to the dock and she was so close he could reach out and touch her if he tried. He'd lose his hand to the guard behind her if he tried, but that was beside the point.

"Your royal highness is more than welcome aboard."

She pulled her eyes away from the sails to look down at him, holding a hand out to her guard, knowing without looking that they would overreact.

"You know who I am, sailor?"

"No, milady, I make it a habit to address every beautiful lass in such terms. Just in case."

* * *

The faintest hint of a smile pulled at the Princess' lips. "Where does she make port? She's beautiful, and I only see her every couple weeks."

"My brother, Captain Liam Jones, transports diplomatic messages between here and our kingdom."

"I don't think my father would quite approve of my coming aboard and mingling with a foreign crew," she said, a hint of wistfulness in her voice.

He must have had a touch of heat stroke. That's the only possible explanation for what happened next:

"Later then, after the crew are settled in various taverns. You'll have the vessel nearly to yourself." It took him a moment before he realized what a scandalous situation he had suggested and he scratched his ear nervously. "My brother and I would be more than willing to see you safely home again, of course"

The smile was tugging at her lips again. "Oh no, Lieutenant Jones;" she said the name questioningly and he nodded that she was correct. "Your brother is far too busy to chaperone, I'm sure."

With a last smile she turned and disappeared back into the crowd; her guards struggling to keep up as she weaved through the mass of people.

_Of course she wasn't coming. _

It was for the best, most likely. It was beyond bad form to invite a lady of her... well, like her... onto a navy vessel at this hour. If her father found out he was a dead man. If the admiralty found out he'd probably lose his commission. 'Activities unbefitting an officer of the royal Navy' or some such nonsense.

"I really thought she would come." Killian spun to see Liam had come up behind him, silent as a spirit. Liam knew every creaky board on this deck and Killian still rarely heard his approach.

"Who?" he asked, and his brother laughed.

"Sailors gossip more than old women, little brother."

"So if you thought she would come, why are you here?"

"Oh, now there's a side of my little brother I haven't seen before! In point of fact, I'm here to protect you, Killian."

"From the Princess?"

"Not exactly. You know full well being alone with a foreign Princess under such... circumstances could be most harmful to your career."

"Much obliged, brother, but it seems I've nothing to worry about."

"I wouldn't be so sure," Liam nodded over Killian's shoulder and Killian spun. A figure covered head to toe in a dark cloak was slipping up the gangplank. Killian was frozen in surprise so Liam stepped forward to meet her. He didn't miss a beat...All gallantry as usual.

"Ah, welcome aboard your-"

"Emma, if you please." She slipped off the hood and Killian saw her face again, flushed from jogging to the dock or perhaps from excitement.

"Emma," Liam agreed. "I shall be in my cabin if you need anything. I believe my little brother has agreed to give you the tour."

"_Younger_ brother," Killian corrected irritably. Liam just waved a dismissive hand over his shoulder as he descended into the cabin below. The princess smiled as he turned back to her. "I suppose I should ask if your father is going to have me arrested for kidnapping?"

"Not if he doesn't find out," Emma said flippantly. "I insisted upon trellised vines outside my window" she commented, as though that explained everything.

"You mean to tell me you snuck out of your own castle?" Killian asked in surprise.

"Of course. How else was I supposed to get a moment of freedom? Now, lieutenant... I do believe your Captain said something about a tour."

"It's Killian, milady."

"Killian," she repeated. "and I'm Emma."

"I know who you are, milady."

"No, I mean...call me Emma."

"How about Princess?"

A flash of irritation sparked through her eyes. "I didn't sneak out, climb down a trellis and jog to the docks in the middle of the night to be coddled, Killian Jones. I want to be free of that title and if you use it again before I make it back to my room tonight I will have my father arrest you."

Killian raised his eyebrows. Maybe Liam was right to protect him from the fiery golden haired lass! "As you wish... Emma."

* * *

"As you wish… Emma."

"I knew I liked you."

"Did you lass? Why's that?"

"Are we going to just stand here or are you going to show me around!"

Killian offered her his arm and she took it, allowing him to guide her around the deck of the ship. Emma was enchanted by the vessel, but even more so by the sea beyond. In fact, she was so distracted watching the dark water lit by starlight that she tripped over a piece of a metal clamp used to secure the anchor.

"Apologies, y- Emma." Killian said, catching her arm. "I didn't... I step over it without thinking!"

"Not accustomed to giving ladies the grand tour, are you?" Emma commented.

"Haven't you heard, love? A lady on board is frightful bad luck."

"Do I make you nervous, Killian?"

"Only that you'll break your ankle and my brother will take my head before your father even has the opportunity."

"Then perhaps we shouldn't walk. Perhaps we should sail."

"Sail?"

"Well ... I'm no expert, Lieutenant, but I believe it has something to do with releasing the sails, untying the gangplank and drifting off into the sea."

"Ah, Is that what it means? Because I'm rather certain what you have suggested is what my brother would call a 'diplomatic nightmare'."

"You diplomatic types are so stuffy," Emma moped briefly, looking longingly out over the water. Killian looked her over. In contrast to the silky shiny dresses he'd always seen, now she was wearing a light tunic, breaches and fine boots. Too fine to blend in... but she was trying.

She wore a knife at her belt and he was almost certain he'd seen the glint of another inside her boot. _Hell of a Princess..._

"You said you climbed a trellis to get here... so you're a fair climber? Not afraid of heights?"

"No."

"How's your ankle?"

"What are you getting at, Killian?" Killian glanced above her at the crows nest and a smile broke out over Emma's face.

Killian nodded, "This particular rope ladder is quite stable. After you, love?"

Emma grasped the rope ladder, giving it an experimental shake before firmly planting one foot on the bottom tier. She hesitated briefly but Killian's hand was at her back and she did not want him to think her frightened. So she climbed. One foot after another.

"Aren't you coming?" She called, when she realized Killian was no longer right behind her.

She heard a chuckle from below, "trust me, much more stable if there's only one person on the ladder at a time. You're almost there, I'll be right behind you."

Emma tightened her grip nervously on the ropes. Her trellis was so much more stable than this... The ladder seemed to grow more and more shaky as she climbed but finally she made it to the wooden landing that served as a lookout. Moments later Killian joined her at the top. She would normally have chided him for showing off but she was too mesmerized by the view.

"Killian..." Emma sighed, "how do you ever come down?" She gazed out over the town, from here the walls that kept her trapped seemed nothing but a minor inconvenience. She turned and looked out over the dark water. The stars reflected off the surface in rapidly changing constellations as the water moved. "Do you ever just want to leave and never come back?"

"Not really."

Emma raised her eyebrows questioningly.

"Don't get me wrong, lass. I love being on the sea. But seeing nothing but the ocean all around you for months... can get as isolating as being trapped on land."

"But you can go anywhere! See anything!"

"The Jewel of the Realm and her crew serve at the whim of our King. We go where he says, do what he says. Nothing like being a Princess, say? Couldn't a Princess do whatever she wished?"

Emma laughed scornfully. "Oh sure she could. She could embroider in any color she likes."

"Come now, lass, Your father is a great swordsman, your mother the finest archer in the kingdom. Surely they don't lock you away doing needle point?"

Emma smiled wistfully, "I can fight with a sword too you know. Disarmed my father 4 times so far. I can hit any target, even the moving ones. Not as good as my mother but good enough. And yet I've always guards following me around. Everywhere I go. If anything exciting happens they whisk me back off to my cage."

"Just because you can defend yourself doesn't mean you should have to. You're their only daughter. They just want to protect you."

Emma rolled her eyes, "you sound like my mother."

Killian watched her carefully, "would you have them send you off to fight the ogres?"

Now it was Emma's turn to shrug. "Shouldn't I be able to defend my people as they have?"

"Perhaps one day you will."

Emma smiled, turning her face into the sea breeze and inhaling deeply with a small smile on her lips.

"Don't breath too deep this close to shore, milady. It's all fish and sailor."

"KILLIAN!" Liam's voice called up to him and Killian closed his eyes for a moment before looking down.

"Aye?"

"Are you quite determined to get yourself stripped of your commission?" Liam called. Get down here before someone sees you!"

Emma's eyebrows furrowed, "Your brother wouldn't do that would he?"

"Come on lass, lets get you back on solid ground. Wait a moment. I'll take the fast way down and hold the ladder for you"

"What's the fast way?" Emma wondered out loud. Killian pulled a pair of gloves from his pocket and slipped them on. Forgoing the ladder entirely, he grabbed a nearby rope and slid back to the ground. Emma watched in surprise, a bright smile on her face. Digging into her own pockets she found a couple of spare handkerchiefs.

She tried experimentally to wrap her hands with them. Killian had put one boot into the bottom of the rope ladder, increasing the stability for Emma's descent. By the time he looked up she was evaluating the rope he had used curiously.

"Lass? What are you-"

Before he could finish she'd grabbed the rope with both hands.

"EMMA!" he cried, but she was already descending. Too fast. A moment later she let out a small huff as she landed hard on the deck. She stumbled slightly but straightened up before he or his brother had so much as taken a step.

"That was ...exhilarating," she said, shaking her hands and stuffing two ruined handkerchiefs back into her pocket. Killian and Liam were dumbstruck for a moment as Emma brushed off her clothes. Finally Killian stepped forward, taking one hand in his then the other. The thin cloth had not provided nearly enough protection and both her palms had angry red burns.

She pulled her hand away before Killian could say anything. "Thank you Killian, for showing me the Jewel." She nodded at Liam too and turned to leave.

Liam started, "Don't you want us to..." Killian put a hand on his brother's arm. "She can take care of herself."

"If she doesn't make it back they'll have both our heads, you know," Liam commented.

"If you follow her, I suspect she'd do it first." Killian grinned at his brother as they watched her slip away from the docks. She turned before she disappeared, waving briefly then vanishing from sight. He must have watched the spot she had just vacated for too long because Liam sighed.

"Killian," Liam said, in a warning tone. "No."

"No what?"

"We don't get involved with foreign Royalty. You know that."

"I'm not involved, Liam. She just wanted to see the Jewel."

"I know you little brother. And I know that look. We are sworn to the King, and diplomatic relations between our King and hers are tense right now. Last thing we need is-"

"I know my duty," Killian retorted and Liam slapped his back.

"That being said... for the next 9 hours you are off duty. A drink and a distraction then!"

"Liam-"

"That's an order, Killian. Come, I'm hungry!

* * *

"Killian? ... Killian? ... Lieutenant!?"

"Aye, Captain," Killian responded out of habit when his brother finally captured his attention. Killian tightened his grip on the side of the ship briefly before facing his Captain's inquiring gaze.

"Nearly ready to make sail, brother," Liam said in a lowered voice. "Just waiting for my Lieutenant to come aboard.

"All is well, Captain."

"It's for the best, Killian. You know this."

Killian nodded, his eyes still flicking over the crowd.

She hadn't come back. Killian thought she might be among the onlookers in port the next day but he watched in vain. Rumors held that she was quite busy with the plans for a ball in her honor to be held three days hence. A formal introduction to the world and an opportunity for worthy suitors to make themselves known.

_What did you expect? _He chided himself over and over during the days that followed. Isn't that what Princesses do? Regardless of how many blades they carry on their person...

"To your station, brother," Liam's voice again cut through Killian's distraction.

Forcing himself to focus, Killian turned his back on the port. He gave his brother a nod and they both moved to the helm. "ALL HANDS TO STATIONS," Killian called to the crew.

By now, most hands were already to stations, but he played the part of the attentive second until his body relearned the dance. The vessel slowly pulled away from the port, until it sunk to the tiniest spec on the horizon.

_Something so small certainly shouldn't be able to cause him any discomfort now. Right? _

It was under a week's journey with calm seas to their home port though it varied significantly based on wind conditions. Killian eyed the horizon warily as his brother manned the helm.

"I don't like the look of that," he commented. Liam glanced up, eyes fixing on dark clouds forming over the now distant port. The wind was starting to pick up and Killian glanced at his brother. "Shall I give the order to reef?"

"It's that time of year," Liam noted, " but we've weathered worse. Leave it be for now, we'll use as much added speed as we can before we're forced to bunker down. This may be our fastest return voyage yet if we play our cards right."

"We can't reef in the middle of a storm, Liam," Killian replied warily.

"Where's your sense of adventure, little brother? Isn't it better to know what we can do now, rather than when a storm catches us by surprise?"

By the time Liam determined they had 'seen what she could do' the sails were beginning to round up and the rigging strained in protest. The crew was near invisible beneath hoods that barely kept the water off their faces. They were growing exhausted after so many hours fighting the storm . Finally Liam nodded to Killian. "All right boys, turning into the wind, hold fast," Killian cried.

The ship rocked precariously as they brought her about and Killian watched the sails, waiting for the moment they would fall flat. The moment they had turned into the wind Killian cried out "Now! Quickly, before the wind changes on us again."

One group manned the halyard, trying to loosen tension on the sail so that the reefing line could be drawn in. Killian took up his position there. It was a tougher job than usual with the mainsail straining against them, but slowly the line grew taught and the sail drew in. Suddenly the wind shifted, as Killian feared it might. The lines grew tight and the crew strained against them. Then a snap sounded from behind him. Killian turned to see a sailor diving to grab a loose mainstay.

"What the bloody hell are you doing?" he cried, leaving his place at the halyard to sprint toward the loose rigging. The sailor reached it first, grabbing it and wrapping it twice around his arm to secure it while holding tight to the side of the ship to stabilize himself. Killian pulled out his cutlass as he approached... too late... the loose rope snapped tight, pulling the sailor's arm up at an awkward angle and Killian cut through the line with a flick of his blade. Looking around he saw that the newly reefed sail was finally secured and he turned back to the errant sailor.

"Who taught you to catch a loose stay in a storm like that? You're lucky to still have both arms!" The sailor's head was still lowered against the rain and Killian pushed back the hood slightly.

"Apparently my practical knowledge of sailing leaves a bit to be desired," Emma said softly, hardly audible over the wind as she cradled her arm. Killian's eyes widened. Grabbing her uninjured arm he hurried her towards Liam's cabin. He threw open the hatch and she descended into the cabin. Liam raised an eyebrow at Killian as he descended the ladder but didn't stop him.

With the hatch safety closed above them Killian looked at her dumbstruck for a moment as she pulled off her hood and shook the water from her face. Her golden hair was tied in a tight braid which now shone in the dim light of the cabin. _How had he not noticed her?_

"What are you doing here, Princess?" he asked reaching for the arm she had injured. The burns from her descent from the crows nest were already healed, now replaced with marks twisting around her right arm. He grabbed a towel from next to Liam's bed and dampened it with water from a flask then wrapped it around her arm. The cool water seemed to give her some relief because her face relaxed.

"I wanted to get away. I wanted to see something outside of the capital before they lock me away for good."

"What about your parents? Your ball?"

"My auction, you mean?"

"And what did you suppose your father will do when he learns you've been kidnapped by officers of a foreign King? This is grounds for war, Princess!"

"I wasn't kidnapped. I stowed away."

"I do hope he believes that, Princess."

"Stop calling me that!"

Killian's jaw tensed. "Would you prefer something more informal, love? Would that please you?"

"I just wanted to be free... for a little while. Just for a little while. Don't you understand-"

"Of course I understand but... this is bigger than you, love." He reached for the end of her braid, but at the last second he pulled away. His fingers dropped to her arm, lifting away the towel to see that the red marks were starting to fade slightly. "Stay here, dry off. I need to speak with my brother."

He paused halfway up the ladder and turned back to her. She looked so much younger like this, drenched to the bone, injured and that crestfallen look on her face. "It'll be all right, love. We'll figure this out."

He pushed up the hatch and made his way to the helm.

"We've got an unexpected... complication." Killian whispered to his brother.

"What is it?"

"I think you better see this for yourself."

Liam handed the helm over to another sailor and followed Killian down into the cabin. Emma was leaning on the navigation desk by the time they returned.

There was a stunned silence for a moment before Liam finally spoke. "Is there an explanation forthcoming, Killian?"

"She hid below. She didn't know we were casting off today..."

Emma's eyes narrowed but a look from Killian quieted her.

Liam raised his eyebrows and glanced at Killian who was now examining a map on the navigation desk. "Good form," Liam muttered, "but you knew exactly when we were making sail, didn't you Princess?"

Emma nodded.

"We have to take her back," Liam said in a tone of finality.

"Not that simple," Killian said, glancing up from his maps. "We'd have to tack all the way there. It would take us well over a week against this wind. We're now less than a day from home with it."

A small smile flitted across Emma's face and Liam turned on her.

"Do you have any idea how serious this is?" he asked.

"My father never has to know," Emma said ardently.

"Your father already knows," Liam sighed.

"That's impossible," Emma retorted, I've snuck out before and-"

"And you never noticed your tail? You had one the night you came to see the Jewel, did you know that?"

Emma's face showed shock but she schooled it quickly. "I'll contact him... as soon as we reach land."

"How? We're the ship that would carry such messages and we're ruled by the winds. No other ship is faster then the Jewel!"

"Liam," Killian said softly, stepping around the navigation desk with a hand towards his brother. "She didn't know. We'll set a course, find a way to deal with this when we've safety reached land."

Liam nodded, seeming to really notice Emma for the first time. "Apologies Princess, but you must understand this just became a very dangerous situation. Please, do me one favor and stay in this cabin until we make port?"

Emma nodded and Liam turned to Killian "Get her some clothes from one of the smaller boys. At least they will be dry."

"Aye, Captain."

Liam shoved Killian's shoulder, "It'll take more then that to placate me brother!" he said, attempting to sound serious. Still, there was a smile in his eyes. "Get us on course and then we can see to our ... guest of honor."

Liam and Killian returned topside and in a few minutes Killian handed down some dry clothes to her. Emma sighed in relief, grateful to get out of her wet things.

_This is not how it was supposed to happen... _

She hung her wet clothes on the back of a chair and wandered around the room. She skimmed through a few reference books and was examining Killian's maps when the hatch opened again. Killian dropped down the ladder, pausing before he turned around. "Were the clothes acceptable?" he asked, still facing the wall.

Emma chuckled in spite of herself. "Fine, Jones."

He turned, taking in the breeches and tunic that hung awkwardly off her frame. _Nothing like the fineries she was used to, _he mused. He dug through a chest and pulled out a leather belt and handed it to her.

"Not exactly the style you're used to but it's something." She nodded gratefully and tied the belt around her waist so she looked marginally less like a sail. "Well make port by tonight and I'm sure our king will offer you accommodations more fitting to your station."

Emma rolled her eyes. "It's the accommodations fitting to my station that offend me," she grumbled.

"You'll get to see a different capital," Killian offered.

"That's worth starting a war," Emma muttered under her breath.

"I'm sure you haven't started a war. We'll introduce you to our King when we make port. You'll be treated as the guest of honor for a few days and then when the wind is favorable we'll return you to your father."

"This isn't quite the adventure I was hoping for."

Killian laughed, "Diplomatic courier isn't as exciting a life as you thought?"

Emma held up her arm for Killian's inspection, "Exciting enough, I guess. I learned not to try to hold a loose line with my bare hands in a storm." She looked over the map still open on the desk. "Have you been to all these places?" she wondered aloud.

"Some," he replied, evening out the map with one hand and pointing his way across some of the larger waterways. "Our diplomatic missions keep us mostly confined to these areas though."

Emma shifted suddenly and before Killian could protest she had grabbed his cutlass, pulling it from its sheath at his waist and was examining it in the light from the windows.

"Bad from, love. Tampering with a man's cutlass." Killian shook his head, a bemused smile on his face. He watched her for a moment, trying to figure out the enigma that was this Princess. It seems she was just curious, looking over the weapon with interest. "Why the Jewel?" he finally asked. "Certainly one of your father's captains would have been willing to take you out?"

"And risk the demotion if I toppled overboard?" Emma asked with a wry smile.

"You do seem to have a knack for getting into trouble," Killian said, holding out his hand for the cutlass.

Emma smiled and gave him his blade back. "Then I guess It's a good thing I also have a knack for getting out of it!"

* * *

**FF is being ridiculous and won't let me copy paste the rest in right now. As soon as it starts cooperating I'll post the rest from tumblr.**


	49. Free as the Sound of the Sea (2 of 2)

**Free as the sound of the Sea Part 2 - FF finally decided to cooperate with copy paste!**

* * *

The crew was gone before Liam and Killian invited Emma to come topside. She had redressed in her own clothes, now dry if a little stiff.

"So now," Liam looked her over, "ready to play the diplomat? How much do you know about our Kingdom?"

"Not much," Emma admitted.

"There is some… dispute over control of some of the more frequented waterways between the Enchanted Forest and here." Liam explained, "As such your presence here might be taken with some suspicion."

"Suspicion?" Emma asked in surprise, "I didn't even know where you were going, I just-"

"We will make that very clear," Killian said. "You are visiting Royalty, entitled to all the niceties of your class. Everything will be fine."

Liam led the way into the town and it was all Emma could do to resist the urge to wander off into the crowd. One particularly tempting display showed some of the most colorfully fletched arrows she'd ever seen. Killian took her arm when she began to wander, though. "Later, love," he murmured to her. He tried to release her arm after a brief squeeze but she held tight, letting him lead her in step behind his brother.

The guards at the gate to the palace stepped aside for Liam, fortunately not sparing a glance for the woman on his brother's arm. They reached a great doorway and Liam spoke briefly with a man by the door.

The man nodded and turned into the room.

"Captain Liam Jones of the _Jewel of the Realm_," the crier announced to the room, "and Lieutenant Killian Jones with their honored guest Princess Emma of the Enchanted Forest."

The hall fell silent and Emma shifted herself slightly closer to Killian as every eye turned to her. Suddenly her dirty tunic and breeches, which had seemed so practical earlier, felt very ill suited indeed…

Liam led the way and Emma's head swam with the courtesies her mother had tried to instill in her. _Do Princesses bow to other Kings? Would that be disrespectful to her father? Would it be disrespectful to her host not to?_ Liam and Killian bowed upon reaching the throne and Emma finally remembered a visiting Prince bowing to her father. She settled on a quick, slightly awkward curtsey and hoped for the best.

The King was watching her intently when she looked up again and Emma lifted her chin slightly under his gaze.

"You've brought me a gift, Captain?" the King asked, finally pulling his eyes from Emma and looking to Liam. Before Liam could reply he turned back to Emma.

"What is it you want, Emma?"

Emma stiffened. As much as she may dislike her title it seemed she disliked it even more when it was disregarded as a slight.

"I was enamored with the Jewel of the Realm," she explained, trying to keep her tone innocent and civil. "I wished to see the capital that produced such lovely vessels."

"I'm sure you did. And your good father would be most pleased to know the status of our Naval vessels. What a good little girl." Emma could feel Killian stiffen next to her, but it was Liam who spoke.

"I'm afraid her father has no idea she is here. She is… very young sire, her fancies are simple curiosity. I have explained to her the risk she incurred by coming here without her father's leave and she will assure her father that no affront to the Enchanted Forest was intended by this… misunderstanding."

"How very kind," the King drawled with a half smile. "Are you close with your parents, Princess?"

"Of course, they're my parents." Emma replied with a confused look.

"And you're the eldest? Surely you know much about the dealings of your Royal Parents."

Emma was about to reply when Killian spoke up. "She's but a Princess, sire, her interests lie more in needlework than politics." Emma glanced over at him in annoyance but her words dried up when she saw the fear in his eyes. She glanced back at the King who was still watching her, a predatory smile on his lips. Suddenly she realized this King was nothing like her father. He wasn't interested in helping her. He was sizing up her value as a political tool. Emma felt her face flush in anger but she took a deep breath to control herself.

"With your permission, sire," Liam said, "we'd like to return her to her family as soon as the wind is favorable."

"Oh, not just yet. Stay a while, Princess."

His tone was hard and Emma shook her head slightly. "I need to get home. My parents will be worried."

"It wasn't a request." The King nodded to a pair of guards standing nearby and a moment later Emma found herself pulled away from Killian and her arms wrenched behind her back.

"No, get your hands off me," Emma cried. She reached for her blade but one of the guards pulled it free, tossing it across the floor towards Killian and Liam. Killian's own cutlass had been left outside the hall in deference to custom, so instead he dove for Emma's. He retrieved it but before he could move towards Emma his brother grabbed his wrist with an iron grip. The guards relieved Emma of the blade from her boot too then turned her to face the King.

"My sincerest apologies Emma," the King said with a smirk, "but I cannot allow such an opportunity to pass me by."

"Your Majesty," Killian protested, "_Please_… reconsider. She is a guest, this is not-"

"This is war, Lieutenant. In war there is no room for your good form. Take her away."

"Let me GO," Emma wrenched an arm free and punched one of her guards in the face. There was a crack and blood spilled from his nose. Other guards came forward as the first drew back, cursing.

The King roared in laughter, "Needlepoint, eh Lieutenant?"

Liam tightened his grip on Killian's arm. While Killian was watching Emma, Liam was watching the King and his guards. The King looked unsure if he should order Killian arrested as well.

"Give me that, Lieutenant," Liam ordered, holding his hand out for Emma's knife. Killian looked torn for a moment, eyes flicking between Emma and his Captain. Then Liam leaned forward, "Not like this, brother" he murmured under his breath. Killian relinquished the blade and watched helplessly as Emma was dragged from the room. Liam did not loose his grip on Killian until Emma was out of sight, then he bent to pick up Emma's boot knife from the floor.

"I'll have these taken to the armory," he said, voice tight.

"Something to say, Captain?" the King asked.

"What will you do when her parents come asking questions?"

"I don't remember seeing her here? Do you?"

Liam grabbed his brothers arm, gave a quick robotic bow and dragged Killian from the room. Killian didn't even bother to bow. In his opinion it was bad enough that he had left the King unscathed.

"Liam-" Killian started as the grand hall door slammed behind them.

"Quiet, Killian."

"You can't seriously be considering leaving her there?"

"Silence. That's an order, Lieutenant."

"NO!" Killian pulled himself free and turned but Liam grabbed him again and pushed him up against a wall.

"Don't be a fool. What good will you do her locked up too?" Killian dropped his gaze and nodded. Liam clapped his brother on the shoulder. "I will go speak to the admiralty. Make the ship ready to set sail at first opportunity."

"You would disobey a direct order from the King?" Killian asked in surprise.

"There are times when the best form can be in honor rather than obedience, little brother. Choose your crew wisely, this may get messy."

* * *

In only a few hours Killian had rounded up the most trustworthy of the crew. He hadn't told them what was going on, simply told them to hold the ship in readiness.

When Liam returned from his meeting with the admiralty he didn't say a word to Killian, just stalked up the gangplank and across the deck, slamming open the hatch with a nod to Killian to follow. Liam was near visibly fuming, pacing back and forth across the small space.

"Good news, I take it," Killian commented.

"Cowards. Bunch of bloody cowards."

"What happened? What did they say?"

"They said they needed time to consider all sides of the issue. That we shouldn't ignore the _strategic advantage_ such a political prisoner could offer."

"We can't leave her there, Liam. The King thinks she can tell them something about her kingdom. Who knows what he'll do with her…"

"They also said it would be wise for commissioned officers not to forget their sworn duties."

Killian's jaw clenched. It was not even a subtle threat.

"Let me go, brother." Killian asked, "I'll take her over land part of the way. Depart from a distant port in the smallest most inconspicuous vessel I can fine. They'll never expect that."

Liam laughed, shaking his head. "I can't let you do that, Killian."

"No one will ever know you had anything to do with it. I'll be branded the traitor and your commission will be safe. I'll find work in the Enchanted Forest. There's always work for a strong arm before the mast."

"No Killian, what I meant is I can't let you do that alone."

"You'll be stripped of your commission. We both will. If they ever find us in their waters again we'll both be hanged as traitors and pirates."

"Then I suppose it's a good thing I captain the fastest ship in the fleet then, isn't it Killian? Prepare the crew. It's the season for storms. As soon as the wind is favorable we need to be able to leave."

* * *

Emma had seen dungeons before. She'd seen her father's dungeons anyway, but this … this one was different. There was a pervasive smell of mold and she was pretty sure that she was sharing her cell with a family of small rodents. There was a draft of cold air coming from somewhere that made the lamps flicker and smoke. The bars slammed but the guard remained, preventing Emma from getting to her lock picks, securely stored in the sole of her boot.

"You draw the short stick?" Emma asked the guard.

He raised an eyebrow at her, his answer no more than a gruff snort.

"Quite the position you've got. Guarding your King's guests. Are all the accommodations quite so cozy?"

"Be silent, wench."

Emma sighed, "Whatever happened to good manners-"

"Be silent, Princess wench."

"Was that so much to ask?" Emma responded. "I know you're just doing your job. Must be a thankless task guarding the dangerous ladies of foreign courts. Doesn't even look like they give you a proper bathroom in here."

The man snorted a little, glancing around. "We have guards quarters just around the corner. You however, do not, so I suggest you drink sparingly."

Emma glanced nervously at the pail in the corner. _Ah… that's what that's for…_

She continued to try and engage the guard in idle conversation to see what she could learn about the prisons, but before long he seemed to get the sense he was talking too much and fell silent. The guard changed every 3 hours the second guard told her, which gave her a decent way of telling time at least. She scoured every inch of the dank cell, quietly at first, then less subtlely when she discovered they never turned around.

Finally after 2 guard changes Emma sat with a huff of irritation on the bed, glaring morosely into the guards back. Just a few minutes alone, that was all she needed. Her fingers itched to retrieve her picks but she didn't dare lest her last hope be taken from her.

"Don't they even feed their prisoners?" Emma complained, giving her voice a whiny obnoxious tone. "Or their guards for that matter. At least I'll eventually get out of this dank hole…"

"Don't you be worrying about us, Princess. They keep food a plenty for us in our quarters. Guards don't go wanting, so pretty things like you have nothing to offer us."

"Now you're making me hungry. What do they keep in that guard station?"

The guard finally turned, grinning devilishly at her. "Honeyed rolls, roast boar, dried and seasoned with pepper so it peels your mouth right off. Hot cider when it's cold and cold teas when it's hot. All the little delicacies you thought were just for your table, Princess."

"Mmmm," Emma sighed. "Sounds delicious, what I wouldn't give for a honey roll. My mother used to make the most delicious ones I've ever had. Fluffy and sweet, I'd steal them right from the oven and put Jam and fresh butter… They just absolutely melted on the tongue."

The guard glanced toward the door of the station and his stomach grumbled audibly.

"My favorite was strawberry jam," Emma continued wistfully, watching the guard from the corner of her eye.

"Don't think you'll be tasting any strawberries for a while, Princess." He grumbled, turning away again. Emma yawned loudly and lay down in the bed, peeking out between her lashes from time to time and noting with satisfaction as the guard shifted nervously from foot to foot. Finally he turned, she could hear him coming closer and she did her best not to fidget, breathing deeply and evenly as the guard peered down at her. Then she heard his footsteps recede and she cracked open one eye just in time to see him disappear into the guard's room.

Emma bent quickly, pulling out a set of lock picks from her boot. She usually used them to get into places she probably wasn't supposed to be around the palace. She'd not particularly planned on using them to break out of a foreign prison…

She knelt at the front of the cell, turning the second pick ever so gently until the tumbler suddenly clicked into place. She opened the door, ever so slowly praying it didn't squeak. When she'd opened it just far enough she slipped through, stepping lightly out into the hall. She hurried past the guard's room and took off down the hall. She wasn't sure where she was going exactly but she tried to move the opposite way as she'd been brought down. It would do her no good to find herself back in the throne room. Turning a corner she ran headfirst into someone on the other side. A hand slipped over her mouth and she struggled, closing her teeth around a finger and biting down hard. She tasted blood but her discoverer didn't cry out, only hissing in pain and pulling his hand away.

"Bloody hell, be still you ridiculous creature!" Emma's jaw dropped as she finally looked up.

"Killian?"

"Damn it all, lass, that bloody hurt. What are you doing here?"

"Escaping, of course. What are you doing here?"

"Rescuing you."

"My hero," Emma commented and Killian raised his eyebrows.

"By all means, Princess, continue on your way. We're you on your way to the throne room to protest your treatment?" Killian sucked on his bleeding finger for a moment longer before grabbing her arm, "Come on, we've not much time."

He led her through a series of winding passageways until finally the dank air freshened. He paused before taking her out into the street.

"Keep your head down, Emma, and stay right behind me."

Emma nodded but just before he pushed open the door she stopped him with a hand on his arm. She hesitated for a moment biting her bottom lip lightly as she considered something. His eyes flicked down to her lips and with a great force of will he met her eyes again.

"We cannot linger," Killian warned her, "we have to go."

Taking a deep breath she came to a decision, leaning forward she pressed her lips lightly to his. His hand came up instinctively to cup her cheek but a moment later she was gone. Pulling away with a smile on those beautiful lips.

"That was-" he started but Emma had already pushed open the door and grinned at him.

"We have to go, remember."

He nodded, still slightly stunned as he led the way out into the dark street. They had to duck into alleyways twice to avoid guards patrolling the streets but eventually they found their way back to the docks. He led her quickly up the gangplank and down into the familiarity of Liam's cabin.

"Did your brother talk to the King, has he changed his mind?"

"No love," Killian responded, "There's no time now to explain. We'll talk once we've set sail. Stay here, just until we've a chance to tell the crew what is going on."

"Killian -" she started, then she paused. His eyes were drawn to her lips again but he shook his head to clear it.

"Later, love. If they discover you're gone before we leave port…"

Emma nodded and Killian disappeared up the ladder topside.

Preparations were already underway. Though many of the crew were probably wondering why they made such haste in the middle of the night, they did their duty.

Liam had decided to wait until they were out of port to tell the crew the exact nature of their mission. Killian had already told them, though, that if they valued their careers here that they would sit this one out. Only three men had chosen that option, the rest had agreed to stay with their Captain.

Another storm was brewing and they had to navigate away from port at half-reef. The moment they were free of the port the sails were freed and the ship made for the open ocean at top speed, aided by the wind of the coming gale.

It wouldn't be long before her empty cell was discovered. Most likely it already had been. And when word of the Jewel of the Realm's unexpected departure made it to the King there would be little doubt of what had happened. Killian kept one eye on the blooming storm, hopefully it would give them some protection. Most of the rest of the King's fleet Captains would be far too wise to attempt to sail in weather like this.

The wind let up slightly and Liam was gathering the attention of the men now. Killian moved to stand by his brother. If there was to be mutiny he would be nowhere else.

"Many of you know we currently sail without orders from the King, and it is now my duty to tell you why." There was no response from the crew… Killian had left little doubt in their mind on that point, at least.

"We are a diplomatic vessel, charged with maintaining lines of communication with other peaceful lands. And for that purpose we have always sailed. Our last trip, however, came to mean much more. Perhaps without your knowledge we brought… something of a stowaway back from the Enchanted Forest. Their Princess, who wanted to see the land we came from. We assured her that our King was an honorable man, who would see her back to her home. We escorted her to the palace, a guest of honor who might bring some diplomacy to our kingdoms rocky relations." Liam glanced at Killian who took up the tale.

"Instead of acting as a man of honor," Killian said with scorn, "our _King_ threw her in the dungeons as a _political prisoner. _A visiting Princess, who had done no wrong but a desire to see the world and being born of the wrong family." Now there was grumbling amongst the crew and Killian raised his voice again. "Our King thought he could get information out of her, about her father. The King of a country we are not at war with, but certainly will soon be if we don't right this wrong!"

"This is why we've pulled you from your shore leave in the middle of the night" Liam called. "We are on a new mission. To return the Princess to her home and avert a needless war. But we no longer sail under the King's colors. And for this honorable mission you will be rewarded with the brand of pirate. Any man in fear of this brand, speak up now. We will leave you behind at the next port and you may return to your dishonorable King and serve his whims for the remainder of your days." Liam paused, watching the crew for any signs of doubt.

"I will follow you, brother, to the ends of the earth," Killian reaffirmed.

Several of the crew repeated the affirmation 'I will follow you, Captain,' others simply nodded their approval.

"I will follow you, Captain," one man stepped forward hesitantly, "but…are we never to return? I've been a navy man all my life."

"You will sail for me," Emma called out from behind them. She was halfway out of the hatch from below, the wind whipping her hair into her face and grasping at her clothes as she climbed the rest of the way up from below. She moved to where everyone could see her, raising her voice to carry over the wind. "You are honorable men, willing to stand up against injustice even at great risk to yourselves. From now on you will sail for me, and for my father!"

She heard more muttering ('_can she do that_?')

"I can. I am Princess Emma of the Enchanted Forest and I will speak to my father the King on your behalf. Any decent King would be _honored_ to claim your service!"

"Very well, Princess," Liam said with a half-hidden smile. "I will come with you when we return to your land." He turned back to the crew. "Which presumes we get there! Break time is over, lads. Back to work!"

"Did she just take over my ship?" Liam muttered to Killian with a grin as he made his way back to the helm.

"I believe she just did," Killian responded shaking his head, a look of half-stunned admiration on his face.

"Well said, love," Killian told her when he reached the helm, "but didn't I ask you to stay below?"

"Turns out I'm not very good at following orders," she commented.

"How about requests? The wind is rising again, the gale will be upon us soon."

Emma nodded and Killian followed her below again. Emma was beaming with excitement, practically bouncing up and down. "That was so much fun!"

"Breaking out of a brig and taking over a ship?" Killian laughed, "and imagine… we're the one's they'll call pirates."

The rocking of the ship grew more pronounced and Emma could hear the rain now coming in sheets.

"Do you have to go back above?" Emma asked him.

"Not for several hours. My brother and I will take watches during a storm. It will be rough, love. We must outrun our persuers and so we'll have to leave more sail free than is reasonable for this weather. You should try to get some sleep."

"Sleep? In this storm?"

Killian smiled, "you learn to sleep through just about anything living on the sea." Emma tried to lie down but the ship shifted dramatically then settled and Emma raised her eyebrows. "I'll be thrown off the bed."

"Indeed, normally during a storm you tie yourself into a hammock not a cot… but it's damp in the crews quarters, and half the crew will be sleeping there too. This seemed more fitting." He moved over to the bunk and pulled up the sides, locking them into place with a latch. The higher sides made the cot seem slightly more secure but not by much.

"Where do you sleep?"

"With the crew, generally."

"Will you stay here?" Killian hesitated but Emma continued, "please?"

"As you wish." He moved over to the cot and after a moments hesitation sat down next to her. He laid down against the wall and gestured to her, "Come here, love?" he asked. When she pulled her legs up into the bed he raised the last side and locked it into place. The ship pitched again and Killian wrapped an arm around her waist, holding her steady.

"You can really sleep like this?" Emma murmured after a few minutes. She felt more secure with his arms wrapped around her but neither the storm nor his warm body pressed against hers was conducive to sleep.

"Probably not," he mumbled back sleepily.

"Liar," she retorted.

She felt him shrug behind her, "It's true… I really can sleep through anything."

"And when you fall asleep what's to stop me from flying off this bunk and cracking my head?"

His arms tightened around her. "Guess you'll just have to trust me, love."

Before long his breathing had evened out, though his arms stayed locked tight around her. She tried to close her eyes, and count backwards from 100, then from 200 then just counting the deep even breathes from behind her. Finally she gave a little huff of frustration.

_I am never going to get any sleep like this._

* * *

Killian woke when the hatch opened and his brother's steps on the ladder sounded from above. He blinked the sleep away. One arm was well and truly asleep and he shifted slightly, stretching his fingers to bring back the feeling.

Liam chuckled when he reached the bottom of the ladder. "The helm is yours Killian. Would you like me to take your place too?"

Killian shot his brother a dirty look as he tried to detangle himself from Emma without waking her. He failed miserably and her eyes blinked open.

"The worst is past, lass, but I have to go topside now." Emma nodded blearily and was asleep again before Killian managed to escape the bed.

* * *

"They'll call us traitors anyway, Liam."

"Might as well earn the title, is that your logic?"

Emma's eyes flicked open but she closed them again when she noticed that Killian and his brother were sitting at the desk only a few feet from her. They were leaned over some papers and Emma found herself curious.

"Not exactly what I said."

"This must be done, I understand that. But to swear to another crown? What value can such a vow have when you've betrayed your last oath to make it?"

"We made an oath to serve an honorable King. Our land no longer has one. It is he who betrayed us."

Emma heard a sigh and the rustling of papers. "I know it," there was exasperation in Liam's voice. "I do know it, I just never thought he could do such a thing, Killian. We know him-"

"We knew him. That man is gone. He was probably gone years ago but we simply ignored it."

There was a sigh and a shuffling of papers then Liam spoke again, "Good morning, Princess," he said, "something to add?"

Emma flushed and opened her eyes, not even bothering to pretend she hadn't been listening.

"I'm sorry. Not about listening… for all of this."

Liam nodded graciously.

"You brought to a head something that had been coming for some time." Killian added, "We should be grateful we discovered who that man really is before something worse happened."

"Where are we?" Emma asked fidgeting with the raised edge of the bed.

Killian stood and moved to release the clamp, lowering the piece out of her way so she could slide easily off the cot.

"We've been quite lucky. The storm gave us several days lead. The difficult part is going to be… what to do when we arrive."

"I thought-"

"It's a bit more complicated than that," Liam said.

"What is so complicated about it?" she asked.

"There's the little detail that this ship does not belong to me," Liam said. "Your father can not simply accept a stolen ship and a traitorous crew into his Navy."

Killian pulled a chair out and Emma moved to take a seat at the table with a frown.

"Welcome aboard the Jolly Roger, love." Killian teased, sitting down next to her, It turns out you've been abducted by pirates."

"He won't send you back. My father… he won't. It would be as good as a death sentence." She glanced nervously between Killian and his brother,

Killian shrugged, "it's true. We can't go back. Nor can we stay."

"You did the right thing." Emma insisted, "I won't see you punished for it!"

"Your convictions do you credit, Princess," Liam told her, "but if we stay it's as good as a declaration of War. Just what our King has been waiting for."

Liam stood, "We'll figure something out… but in the meantime someone's got to command this bloody ship."

"You could always make me Captain," Killian suggested, "if it's getting too much for you in your old age?"

Liam ruffled Killian's hair affectionately in a gesture that was probably never repeated outside this room. Killian smacked him away with a smile and Liam made his way up the ladder.

"What will you do?" Emma finally asked Killian.

"Get you home, love. The rest we'll figure out when we come to it."

Emma bit her lip in frustration. "I never meant for this to happen."

"It's not your fault. In fact… it's I who owes you an apology."

Emma raised her eyebrows at him and he stood scratching nervously behind his ear. "The… um, I … I kissed you. It wasn't proper. You're a Princess-"

Emma glared. "You kissed me? I remember it differently."

"I can't give you what you need, Princess."

"What did I tell you about calling me Princess?" Emma asked, with a huff of irritation.

"It's what you are, love. You are a Princess. Exactly the way a Princess should be. Strong and beautiful and passionate and … you're bloody brilliant, amazing really and … Princesses don't…" he chuckled slightly. "Princesses don't kiss pirates."

Emma stood "Princesses kiss whoever they feel like kissing, Killian Jones." She moved closer in an instant and pressed her lips to his again. He responded without hesitation this time, pulling her close and running his fingers through her golden hair with a sigh of mingled relief and frustration.

"Emma…Your father will have me arrested, love." Killian told her, but he didn't pull away and his lips were smiling against hers.

"Don't worry, pirate. I'll break you out."

He drew back slightly, running his fingers across her cheek and tucking her wild hair behind her ear. "I can't stay in the Enchanted Forest, Emma," he murmured, pressing his forehead to hers. "You deserve someone who will stay."

"I deserve someone who will come back. Will you come back to me, Killian?"

"As long as you'll have me."

"How long do we have… until we reach the Enchanted Forrest?"

"Not long. Bloody wind is taking us faster than ever. I never thought I would curse wind for being with me… It's blasphemy. We'll be there by sundown, and I've never so dreaded the sight of land."

"Well… You never did take me sailing like I asked."

"Does this not count?"

"I've hardly even been topside!"

"Ah, a problem easily remedied. Come, milady," he took her hand and led her over to the ladder. "Let's go inspect the upper decks, shall we?"

She'd been distracted by the crew's eyes on her the last time she'd been above deck, now she hurried to the rail, gazing in awestruck amazement over the water. She leaned over, trying to determine how far down she could see when an arm wrapped around her waist.

"Let's not lose you overboard so close to your home, aye lass?"

"It's like a story," she marveled.

"A story?"

"A tale. Like a pirate story I used to read when I was a little girl."

"I assure you, love, pirates are not near as polite as you seem to suspect."

"That's it." Emma laughed suddenly, "You are going to be a pirate. Don't you see?" she said excitedly, "That's the answer!"

Killian cocked his head to one side, but before she could explain further he took her hand and gave it a squeeze. "Bloody hell, lass, you're right."

"I am? I didn't think you'd like the idea that much?"

"You're right though. From now on we sail under the Jolly Roger… No one will be able to claim we belong to your King… and ours will have to find another excuse if he wants a war."

Killian grinned, leaning forward and kissing her soundly. Several of the men hooted and Emma could see Liam trying to hold back laughter from the helm. Killian's cheeks reddened slightly but he kissed her once more on the cheek before releasing her.

"We'll need a little.. selective enforcement of the piracy laws in your home waters," Killian mused.

"Leave that part to me," Emma answered.

* * *

There were guards to meet them at the dock. They had seen the ship coming, and clearly Liam was right: They knew she had left on that ship. The moment the gangplank hit the dock guards swarmed the ship. Emma stepped forward instantly; straightening up as much as she could and glaring at the guards.

"You will leave them be," she called. "This crew is to be given safe quarter here for 2 hours while we speak to my father and make arrangements."

"Arrangements?" one of the guards asked suspiciously, "What-"

"Take me to my father," Emma interrupted, then pointed to Liam and Killian. "They come with me."

Word had raced ahead of them that the Princess had retuned and her parents met her at the palace gate.

"Emma!" Mary Margaret cried, sweeping in and hugging her daughter tightly, "thank God you're all right. We were so worried."

Her father hugged her too but kept a close eye on the two officers.

"We need to speak somewhere private, Father." Emma told him.

He nodded, leading the group back into the palace. When they reached one of the meeting rooms Emma insisted upon the guards leaving and shut the door herself and locked it. As quickly as possible Emma related the story of how she had stowed away. When she reached the part about being imprisoned her parents tensed visibly but she didn't stop, pressing on until she had explained everything.

"So what is it you want from me," the King asked when Emma finally came to the end.

"We would sail under your colors," Liam said, stepping forward, "in an instant, would it not cause a rift between our two lands. So we've come up with a different idea. Well… your daughter has. We'll not openly sail under your colors. Instead we'll sail under the Jolly Roger until such a time as relations have changed between our lands, for better or for worse."

"This was your idea?" Snow asked Emma with her eyebrows raised. Emma nodded and Snow looked back to Liam and Killian. "How will you maintain your reputation?"

"In the traditional way," Killian said, "but any ship sailing under your colors will be safe from us and we will report to you, discreetly, once per month."

"If you never attack an enchanted forest vessel it would not take anyone long to guess we've come to some sort of arrangement," the King mused, taking his wife's hand and absently stroking her fingers as he thought. "That wouldn't do. There are many distant lands we'd like to know more about. You will explore them for us, map them and report back to me. And we shall arrange for your payment to be made via a dummy ship. Sent to a prearranged location. Would this serve your needs?"

Liam nodded in acquiescence, "We should be off, no doubt we'll have been followed. If I might make a suggestion… Tell those who followed that we ransomed your daughter back to you. Be wary though, now you know what sort of a man you deal with."

The King nodded and Liam bowed to her and her parents as well before turning to go. Killian did the same then, unwilling to leave without some kind of farewell, he took her hand and kissed it gently. "A pleasure, Princess," he whispered. Killian held her hand a moment longer than was strictly necessary but she knew he would make no advances in front of her parents. He finally pulled away and the door closed behind him and his brother. A sudden panic settled in Emma's stomach. It had worked… It had worked and now he was leaving. For a month… maybe longer? Her stomach clenched and she glanced over at her parents.

Snow came over and hugged Emma once more with a small smile on her lips. "Were so glad you're back Emma. Wouldn't want you to miss your ball!"

Emma pulled away, eyes wide in surprise. "No… No, mother, I can't-"

"Oh, but Emma, what a better way to celebrate your safe return!? All the kingdom's most eligible gentlemen are waiting to meet you."

Emma gaped at Snow and Snow began to laugh. Emma's surprised look shifted into confusion.

"It's ok, Emma," Snow finally said, "Relax, did you think I wouldn't notice?"

"Notice what," her father asked, and Snow elbowed him in the ribs. "Go Emma," she whispered, "go say goodbye."

Emma hesitated only a moment longer before she turned and ran out of the room. The hallway was empty and Emma ran nearly to the entrance of the palace before she saw them.

"Killian!" she called and he turned. She saw Liam clap him on the back and continue on toward the docks while Killian hurried back towards her. She darted forward, throwing herself into his arms with a force that made him fall back a step as he closed his arms around her.

"Thank God," he murmured, burying his nose into her hair. "I feared being home, seeing your parents again had… altered your perspective."

She shook her head and he kissed her, twisting his fingers through her hair and pushing her closer.

"You'll come back?" she whispered, "Please, you told me you'd come back."

He brushed her hair back and kissed her again, lightly this time in reassurance. "Of course, my Princess," he replied, "I'll always come back."

* * *

**_There we go, fluffy lieutenant duckling as requested by my CSSV. Hope you guys liked it too :)_**


	50. Time Waits for No One (1 of 2?)

_**This one is going to be a little confusing at first, fair warning. Emma is going to wake up with very little idea what is going on and you're going to follow her as she figures it out. Please ensure your tray tables are secure and fasten your seatbelts. **_

* * *

Her head ached and she clenched her eyes tighter closed. Her head was already spinning and she'd yet to even open her eyes. Cracking them ever so slightly she looked around. She was in her own room, that was a plus. But Killian was gone. She tried to smother the dejected feeling and garner the nerve to sit up. She fidgeted with the ring on her left hand nervously. It still felt heavy, new and foreign, but it was his. God, he'd nearly glowed when she'd agreed to wear it. Somehow through the pounding in her head she still had a perfectly clear memory of that moment.

The room was an utter disaster. The chair turned over, as though in a struggle. Papers were thrown everywhere, everything that Killian had kept so neat and organized on her desk was scattered around the floor.

"We do know how to celebrate," she said aloud, testing her voice and finding it lacking. She was wearing a long sleeved black dress, all black lace and soft lines and way too formal for her taste...what had convinced her that was an appropriate look for a celebratory night out was beyond her.

She threw on her favorite pair of jeans and a comfy sweater and made her way down into the kitchen. There were flowers everywhere. Emma cocked her head to one side. _What the hell? _She shook her head. Killian going overboard again, she reasoned with a half-smile.

She opened the refrigerator door, trying to remember the last time she had been grocery shopping. To her surprise every square inch of the appliance was stuffed to bursting. There were several plates of lasagna, and tupperware full of every imaginable dinner entree. Some were obviously from Granny's, others looked homemade. She closed the door, overwhelmed by the sudden appearance of enough food to feed an army. Perhaps Mary Margaret was planning some kind of party?

She headed instead for the cabinet to where her secret stash of pop-tarts was hidden. Even her pop-tart stash had been supplemented during the night. Every possible flavor, and several that she'd no idea existed. It seemed she needn't regret giving Killian her key, she mused, deciding that her headache certainly called for something more adventurous. Cookie dough pop-tart perhaps. _Yes, good plan._

"Emma?"

Emma jumped. "Mom?! What are you doing here!"

Snow peeked up from the other side of the couch looking confused. "You said you didn't want to be alone last night, I just... I thought you wouldn't mind if I took the couch."

"Oh," Emma mumbled through a mouthful of pop-tart, though she certainly had no memory of asking her mother to stay over. "Right, sorry, of course. You just scared me. When did all these arrive?" Emma asked, waving the pop-tart in the air flippantly.

"You feeling ok, Emma? I mean obviously you're not ok but..."

"I'm fine, mom. Really this is nothing I haven't dealt with before."

Snow's eyebrows furrowed, "Look I know you've had a rough time, Emma, but if you need to talk-"

Emma laughed and Snow's frown grew even more pronounced. "Mom, really. I'm fine. And I'm late for work."

"Your father said he would cover you, Emma, as long as you need."

"Over this?" Emma gaped, She did _not_ need her father to cover for her because she drank too much last night! "Please! I am going to work."

"I understand. Sometimes it helps to work."

Emma nodded, chugging down a glass of water and a couple of aspirin she had pulled from a cabinet. "I'll see you tonight ok?"

Snow nodded, still looking slightly dumbfounded and Emma gave her a quick hug before rushing out of the apartment.

* * *

_Swan (9:43 am): You really didn't have to do all that, Killian. I would have preferred to wake up with you than with a million flowers and pop-tarts! _

She clicked send on the text and then pushed open the door of the sheriffs station. David was already there.

"Morning Emma, I thought-"

"Yes, yes," Emma said, rolling her eyes, "I had a rough night. That's not going to stop me from doing my job."

"Sure," David said. "Did you go talk to Dr. Whale. Or... maybe even Archie?"

Emma's eyebrows shot up, "I don't think so. Stop looking at me like that, I'm here to work."

David raised his hands in deference. "Fine, Emma. Whatever you think is best. It's been pretty quiet since... Well anyway, I'm just catching up on paperwork."

Emma sat and buckled down to her own, She'd mountains to catch up on, she grabbed something from the bottom of the pile, the stuff from nearly a month ago that she'd been putting off. To her surprise the date on the incident report was only from a couple weeks ago. She glanced suspiciously over at David. She told him she would get to it eventually, but sometimes he couldn't help being helpful. Prince Charming and all that.

_Swan (9:56 am): Where did you go, pirate? You better not be making me more paperwork to deal with!_

She'd worked her way through at least a few days worth of the backlog which never seemed to end, when her stomach growled audibly. Often around this time Killian would bring her lunch or meet her at the diner. She picked up her phone and to her surprise found no response to her earlier text.

_Swan (12:53 pm): Playing hard to get, Killian? You remember... I already said yes._

_Swan (12:53 pm): __Or have you forgotten how to respond to a text? Why don't you meet me at the diner for lunch? About 10 minutes?_

She got no response but it wouldn't be the first time Killian had pressed cancel instead of send. She told her father she was going to take a break and slipped out of the station, walking towards Granny's. When she got inside Ruby came up to her immediately and gave her a hug.

Emma laughed awkwardly and pulled away..."Um Red... What are you doing?"

"Sorry, I just... Can I get you something?"

"Just a hot chocolate. I'll order in a few minutes."

Ruby brought her the hot chocolate and she sipped it slowly, one eye on the door. She'd finished her second mug before Emma finally realized he wasn't coming and ordered her grilled cheese. She ate it in silence, brooding, if she cared to admit it.

_Swan (12:53 pm): Killian? Is everything ok? Call me back, ok?_

Was it too much. Too fast? It's not like getting engaged had been her idea! He'd seemed so happy these past few weeks. Everything was ... good. Why would that drive him away? She locked her phone and dropped it into her pocket. Ok. If he wants space he could have space.

It took her the rest of the day to get through just over a week of the papers and Emma grudgingly admitted that her father was right - she shouldn't let herself get so far behind. Emma leaned back in her chair rubbing her tired eyes. The headache from this morning had faded to a constant background throbbing that reminded her of one time that she'd pushed herself too hard on some of her training with Regina.

"Emma, you don't have to stay here." Charming told her, "I got this. Your mother was hoping you'd make it over in time for dinner."

Emma laughed, "I think I have enough food to last me for a couple weeks."

"People just wanted to help, Emma. After all you've done for them-"

"Yeah, nothing says savior appreciation day like frozen lasagna." David opened his mouth to speak but Emma shook her head. "I'm just... I'm just tired dad. I can't seem to shake this headache."

David nodded. "I know, Emma. If you need anything..."

"Thanks dad, I'm going to head home."

She didn't go home. She went to the docks. His ship wasn't there anymore but often times when he was troubled he would find his way there. She was certain he would be there. Absolutely certain. And yet he wasn't. What was there was a disaster zone of broken half -sunk vessels and debris. There must have been a hell of a storm during the night. Perhaps he'd spent the day here, trying to repair the damage. He did have a key to her apartment now, maybe he'd finally decided to take advantage of that?

"Killian?" she called when she pushed open the door to her apartment. There was no answer and she made her way back into the bedroom. The apartment was empty. She called Snow who offered to bring Henry back after they'd finished their late dinner.

"That's ok," Emma told her, "I'm sure he's having a good time there. I'm beat tonight so I won't be a lot of good to him. See you guys in the morning?"

Snow agreed and Henry got on the phone to say goodnight.

"Hey Mom," Henry said flatly.

"You ok kid, you sound tired?" Emma asked worriedly.

"I just. I miss him. He was supposed to take me sailing today."

"Killian? I didn't know that... " A warm anger bloomed in her chest. He was standing up Henry too? Not that Henry had finally started to rely on him, to expect him to be there. That wasn't like him. "I'm sorry kid." She finished half-heartedly, resolving to have a serious conversation with Killian the moment he figured out how to use his phone again.

As soon as she hung up with Snow, Emma picked up the phone again and pressed the Killian button. _God, when did I start calling it that?_

He didn't pick up the phone and the nervous knot clenched tighter. Emma sighed and pealed her jacket off, hanging it in the front closet. His jacket hung there in her front closet now. The long one, the one he hadn't worn in ages.

When she reached the bedroom she realized that someone had been there while she was gone. She'd been distracted this morning so she wasn't exactly sure if it was while she was at work or from last night. One of Killian Jones' tunics was balled up on her bed. Had he come back and changed... without bothering to contact her? She threw the shirt into a corner, huffing in irritation. Then something caught her eye. Underneath the tunic laid a silver chain with two charms. A skull and crossbones and a dagger. He never took them off... _What is he doing? _Emma tidied up the desk and knocked over piles of papers, trying to pretend she wasn't waiting for the sound of an opening door. But he didn't return. She glanced at her phone one more time but there was nothing from him. He'd gone off the grid entirely, it seemed.

Emma turned on her alarm and crawled into bed with a sigh. This day felt like it had gone on forever. She didn't realize how much she had come to rely on Killian's constant presence until he wasn't there. But he'd left his jacket...his clothes, his necklace. He'd be back. He had to come back.

* * *

He wasn't back when she woke. The light was streaming bright through her windows and Emma rolled over groggily. _Too bright. _She glanced at her clock. It was 3 hours past when her alarm was supposed to have gone off, and Emma never slept through an alarm. Time for a new phone... Why hadn't David called?

There was a tentative knock at her door. _Killian?_ Emma thought instantly. Though how he had come in during the night without her hearing hearing was a mystery. A childhood of unpleasant foster siblings had made her a light sleeper.

"Mom, can I come in?" called Henry. She really must have overslept if Henry was back already.

"Yeah kid, come on in. Sorry...I must have overslept. Did you already get breakfast?"

Henry nodded, "Grandma made banana pancakes," Henry crawled into bed with her and Emma wrapped her arms around him in a hug.

"You're awful affectionate this morning," she said with a smile. "Aren't you supposed to be hitting the grumpy teenage years one of these days?"

"You know I love you, right mom?"

"Of course, Henry," Emma said in surprise, "I love you too."

"I think I'm going to wear the leather jacket today."

"The one Killian bought you?"

"Yeah, I think he'd like that."

"Yeah Henry, I'm sure he will," she replied with some confusion in her voice. Why should he care about that after Killian just stood them both up yesterday. Despite her irritation she couldn't help the growing sense of unease. This wasn't like Killian. But things had been so calm, for weeks now. She'd be the first to know if some new threat was in town right?

Finally Henry pulled away, "Grandma says you have to get dressed now. She said she put extra chocolate chips in your pancakes today."

Emma smiled, "I'll be right out."

It didn't take her long to get dressed but when she left the room and reached the kitchen her eyes widened in surprise. Henry had changed into his suit, topped off with the (still slightly too big) leather jacket. Snow and Charming were there too, in full formalwear, all black. Even Neal was wearing a tiny black onesie.

"Did I... miss something," Emma wondered out loud, glancing down at her standard jeans and blouse.

"Aren't you coming?" Snow asked in surprise.

"Coming where?"

Snow hurried over to her, "Oh Emma, I should have reminded you... the funeral. It's today sweetheart."

Emma tried to hide the surprise on her face but she agreed to go change into something more appropriate. _How could I forget that?_ _Someone in town died and I don't even remember?_ _Some bloody savior._

"I think I've lost track of the days," she said cautiously. "When did it happen?"

"The day before yesterday." Snow said and Emma nearly sighed in relief. She hadn't realized she had been nervous until she had confirmation. Whoever had died it was before she'd last seen Killian. She almost asked Snow who it was, but in the end embarrassment stopped her. Wouldn't it be rude to admit she didn't remember? Snow finally pulled out the black dress she'd woken in yesterday... the one she was pretty sure didn't belong to her. She must have gotten it cleaned while she was away at work yesterday.

Emma thought they would go to the convent, but they didn't. A quiet dread settled into their stomach when Charming led the way instead towards the boathouse. Eric? Or one of the dock hands perhaps. Perhaps it was just too big of a group to fit into the convent?

It had snowed during the night and it dampened the sounds around them into an eerie silence. The only sound was the loud crunching of their footsteps on the ice.

"Where's Killian?" she murmured to Snow and Snow clasped her hand, "he's already there."

When the boathouse came into view a cold chill settled in her stomach and Emma walked as though in a dream; Without control over the destination though she knew something horrific waited for her. There was no coffin. Just a simple pedestal and a dark form in a white sheet. _(My fingers are shaking. Why are my fingers shaking?)_

Finally Emma found her voice.

"Wait... Wait just... give me a minute." The others nodded and Emma stepped forward alone, closing the distance with hesitant steps. Finally she got close enough to see. The figure on the pedestal was clearly, and beyond all doubt, Killian Jones. Her breath caught in her throat and for a moment she forgot how to breathe. This was impossible. She'd seen Killian the day before yesterday. She'd fallen asleep in his arms... How could this be... Time seemed to stand still as she stared down at his sleeping features. She reached forward, some silly piece of her subconscious telling her that she could wake him with a touch. Her fingers drifted down his cheek, chilled skin and rough stubble. He didn't wake.

"No... No, Killian?" she whispered. She clasped the collar of his jacket and shook him. "No, no, no...this isn't real. Please don't ... don't do this."

True love's kiss. The thought came unbidden to her mind. _It has to work. I'm in the book now. We're in the book. This can't be how it ends._ She tried to focus on her magic, it felt cold and lifeless inside her but she clung to the traces of light. She thought about Killian. The sheepish smile when he'd bought Henry his very own leather jacket; the elation brightening his eyes when she said yes, when she offered him his own key to her apartment and told him he could hang his jacket in her closet. She closed her eyes and pressed her lips to his cold ones.

Nothing.

_How could this be happening? How had she not know? _

_This is a dream. _She pinched herself hard. Once ... twice... three times but her mind stubbornly refused to wake. Hot tears traced paths on her cold cheeks as the world spun faster and faster around her.

An arm snaked across her shoulders and Emma jumped.

"I'm so sorry, Emma."

"Dad…" Emma stuttered, "What happened? Why didn't you tell me, I could have saved him."

"We tried to save him, Emma. I'm sure you did everything you could-"

"What? I wasn't even there!" Emma's voice was rising now and Charming tried to calm her by rubbing circles on her back.

"Shhh... Emma don't you rem-"

"I think I would remember this!"

"Mom?" Emma fell silent at Henry's call.

"What's going on, dad? This can't be ... _real_.. I have no memory of this."

"Dr. Whale said this might happen. Shock. Take a deep breath, Emma."

"I'm _not_ in shock I don't-"

"Shhh, Emma please. We'll figure it out. But not here. Not now. Think about Henry. He was finally starting to become close to Killian and now...this. Emma, he needs his mother to be strong right now, ok?"

Emma glanced over at Henry who was standing with the rest of the town giving them their privacy, but he'd clearly heard some of her outburst and he was watching her in confusion.

"I don't believe it." Her voice dropped to a whisper again. "I don't. Dad. You have to believe me, this _isn't_ _real_." Emma tried to take a deep breath but her breaths came short and shallow despite her best efforts. Henry broke free of Regina's hand and ran towards her. There were tears in his eyes too and she knelt to hug him. "We're going to get through this, ok kid? I'm going to fix this."

Henry buried his head into her shoulder and Emma felt the chill of dampness on her blouse as the rest of the town gathered around. The bitterly cold wind stopped abruptly and Emma looked up to see that Regina had done... something. A transparent shimmer hovered over the scene blocking the winds assault leaving them in a picturesque white landscape overlooking the docks... she should have found it beautiful. All she could see was Killian.

Archie spoke first. Something about not always having been on the same page, but that Killian had grown roots in Storybrooke and flourished; That heroes don't always look like you'd expect. Emma only half-listened. She felt detached, like she was watching the scene from above. She couldn't see the other people in the crowd. Only him. Cold and still and surrounded by a town that he thought would never accept him. Charming and Snow spoke next, some of the dwarves, even Belle eventually but no one asked her to speak. She was both relieved and upset by this. Shouldn't she say something... But when she tried to speak her throat went dry and the words evaporated.

_It's not real._

At some point people stopped speaking and Snow touched her shoulder, snapping her out of her daze. Most people were leaving but Snow took her arm and led her on towards the docks where a boat was waiting. The dwarves carried Killian..._it's_ _not Killian... _

Eric was on board already making preparations as the dwarves lowered the pedestal gently to the deck.

Regina waved her hand again, and the frozen waters thawed. A path out to sea. It was down to family now. Her parents, Henry and Regina. Eric took them out into open waters and before long the shore was almost gone from view. It was a hammock, Emma realized. He was wrapped in a cloth hammock. Eric took over the proceedings now, stitching up the hammock with the mumbled words of a prayer of some kind. Before he closed it Snow stepped forward and whispered something in his ear. Eric nodded and reached down, pulling loose Killian's necklace and offering it to Emma.

"A remembrance?" he asked.

Emma nodded blankly and took it. She clenched the charms tightly in her hand. The tip of the blade charm dug into her palm as Killian was consecrated to the sea.

_It's not real. The charms were in her apartment just last night... how did he have them again now?_

But they were leaving, and land was coming closer and they'd left him behind. Left him in the dark, in the cold. She held her son's hand on her right and Killian's charms on her left, letting Henry lead her off the boat and back towards her apartment. There was a reception at Granny's but when Snow asked if she wanted to attend Emma pleaded the need to be someplace quiet for a while.

Snow and Charming followed her and Henry back into her apartment now full of offerings of flowers and food. Charming took Henry off to bed and Emma paused, dumbfounded in the kitchen staring at the gifts. Just like yesterday. She opened the fridge and saw frozen lasagna. The cabinet held pop-tarts. Cookie dough. Unopened.

Her head was beginning to ache again.

Had it been a dream? Could yesterday have been some sort of ... prophetic dream? Was that possible? She'd learned a long time ago that deeming something impossible was unwise in this town. Snow entered the kitchen behind her. "Do you want me to go?"

"No... can you... would you..."

"Would you like me to stay tonight, Emma?" Snow finished for her and Emma nodded. "Of course, sweetheart." Snow reached out and Emma collapsed into her arms, her eyes burning and her breath coming in short labored gasps.

"Mom... I don't know what's happening."

"Shh... It'll be ok, alright Emma. You're not alone. You've got Henry, your father and I... we're all going to get though this, ok?" Emma's tears finally slowed and she pulled out of her mother's arms.

"Are you hungry?" Snow asked gently, "I could heat you up some Lasagna? Granny brought you tons while we were... earlier."

"I think... I think I just need to sleep."

Snow nodded and cupped her daughter's face gently with warm hands. "I'll be right here, ok? You are not alone. And we can go talk to Dr. Whale in the morning, and Regina. Maybe they can help shed some light on why you're having trouble remembering?"

Emma nodded and retreated to her bedroom. She still couldn't seem to shake the idea that none of this was real but when she saw the empty bed the truth came suddenly and with sickening intensity.

Killian is dead. He was gone. They'd left him, abandoned him at the bottom of the ocean.

She glanced over at the desk next to her window. She had never used it and Killian had gradually taken it over. Everything was so neat... so orderly. Just like he always left it. With a sudden impulse she swept her arm across the desk sending papers and books scattering to the floor with a clatter.

"Emma?" Her mother called, "Sweetheart?"

"It's fine. I just tripped," Emma called through the door. Hot tears streamed down her face again but she kept her voice steady. Eventually Snow retreated. Her feet led her to her closet next, where Killian's shirts hung. She pulled out one at random, hugging it close and breathing in his sent. She didn't recall getting changed out of her dress... but when she finally fell asleep it was with his shirt bunched up in her arms and his charms clasped in her hand.

* * *

In the morning she was no longer clasping Killian's shirt and the chain was gone. She kept her eyes sealed closed for what seemed like forever before the sun insisted to her that it was morning. If she didn't open her eyes it might still be a dream. What if he's here. Sitting in the chair by the bed watching her wake because he always woke with the sunrise no matter how many nights have passed since his navy days.

It must all be a horrible dream, and if she opened her eyes she would see him there. That half-smirking smile on his face as he watches her fight against consciousness. Breathing in deeply to settle her nerves she cracks one eye opened.

He's not sitting by the window in that chair. "Killian?" she murmured. _Please... please answer me. _"Killian?" she asked louder. There were footsteps in the hall and her heart lightened. She shot out of bed and across the room, but when the door opened it was her mother. "Killian? Where's Killian?"

"Oh, sweetheart."

Snow tried to hug Emma but she tore herself away, "Where is he? Where?"

"Emma he's ... Sweetheart, he's gone." Fresh tears sprung to Emma's eyes as she lost him all over again.

"The necklace. Where is it? I had it..."

"What necklace."

"His necklace," Her voice grew shrill but she didn't care. "The charms. Please, I need it back, where-"

"We'll get it Emma, ok. We'll get it. Come downstairs, Emma, Henry needs you."

_Henry_. The magic word that could always bring her back to herself, no matter what. Emma didn't even bother changing out of her pajamas. She hurried into the kitchen, nearly tackling Henry into the kitchen table. Henry was stiff and silent and didn't say a word.

"Henry? Are you-"

"Don't," Henry replied flatly, and Emma fell quiet. "If one more person asks if I'm ok... I'm not ok. No one is ok."

Emma dropped her head on top of his, pressing him tighter to her. "I know, kid."

They ate breakfast in silence, no one feeling particularly talkative. Henry vanished back into his room the moment he finished eating and Emma hesitated between giving him space and following. Charming made the decision for her. He handed off baby Neal to his wife, kissing her on the head before following Henry to his room.

"Emma," Snow said, "I umm... well I know you don't... I thought you might..."

"What is it, mom?"

"You don't have to. I just... I went shopping yesterday and I got you something... to wear tomorrow if you want..."

"Shopping?"

"I know it's silly but... I wanted to do something to help. Will you take a look at it?"

Emma shrugged and Mary Margaret hurried out of the room, returning with a dress bag." She unzipped the bag and pulled out ... the black dress that Emma had worn to the funeral.

Emma's jaw dropped. "Why would I want to wear that again tomorrow. Mom I..."

"Again?" Mary Margaret looked surprised, "what are you talking about."

Emma looked closer at the dress. It was absolutely the same dress that she had worn yesterday. "Is that supposed to be funny?"

"No! God, no Emma. I just wanted to help. I thought having something special to wear-"

"To what?"

Snow gaped... "To the funeral, Emma."

Emma leaned back in her chair. "To the funeral?" she repeated.

"Never mind. It was silly."

"Mom, the funeral was yesterday."

Charming came back into the room with a concerned look on his face. "Yesterday?" he repeated. "Emma that's not...that's not possible." Emma glanced back and forth between her mother and father.

"What day is today?"

"It's Friday," Snow told her. "The funeral is not until tomorrow, remember?" Suddenly Emma jumped up, running to the refrigerator. She opened it and saw... not much of anything.

"It's gone," she mumbled.

"What's gone?"

"The food. Granny brought like a half dozen frozen lasagna's, they were here... after the service. They were here and now they've gone." Emma dropped her head into her hand, headache coming back with a vengence. "I'm going insane..." she murmured.

"No Emma," Charming put in hurriedly, "you're just under a lot of stress."

"Stress?" Emma retorted. "I woke up the day before yesterday wearing that dress. That exact dress that you just bought. Something is happening to me." Emma muttered, "This must be magic." As though in confirmation the pounding in Emma's head amplified. Emma dropped her head into her hands trying to block out the throbbing.

"Should I call Dr. Whale?" Snow asked gently.

"I don't think there's anything he can do about this one," Emma replied pulling out her phone. "This is Regina's territory." The call went straight to voicemail though and Emma slammed her phone onto the table. "What happened to him?" Emma asked. "The last thing I remember before all this started is Killian asking me to marry him... when was that?"

"Emma! That was almost a week ago."

"So ... A week ago Killian asks me to marry him. I wake up the next morning and he's gone and there's food and flowers in my apartment. The next day I'm at his funeral and now you're telling me the funeral isn't until tomorrow."

"So what..." Charming asked, "Is this like... a bizarre kind of memory curse? Time travel?"

"Not time travel. Not exactly. I've done that. It's like I skipped ahead. And now everything is rewinding. Mom... Dad... If it is, I can still save him."

"Things can't just rewind..." Charming commented. "Can they? I mean... honey he's gone."

"Why not. Henry was gone once, and magic brought him back. Maybe my magic is giving me the chance to fix this!" Emma was getting a feverish excited look in her eyes now though her parents still watched her in confused hesitation. "What happened to him?" Emma continued, "I need to know what happened."

"I'm afraid we don't know exactly," Snow admitted, standing and rocking back and forth as Neal got a little fussy.

Emma raised her eyebrows and turned to David. "No one does but you, I'm afraid," he told her

"What?"

"Well Ursula, Maleficent and Cruella showed up in town and-"

Emma's eyes widened. "Cruella... Oh what the bloody hell is next," Emma sighed, "what did they want?"

"You, apparently. The rest of the town was off dealing with with Ursula down at the docks or Cruella out in the west wood. Maleficent was making trouble under the library. We split up. Killian went with you to the library. There was some kind of a magical... burst that expelled them from the town. We thought we'd won until we found you under the library with Killian."

"But what happened? If I'm going to change it I need to know how this happened."

"I'm sorry Emma but you weren't able to talk about it. We didn't want to press you."

Emma got up, grabbing her jacket and hurrying toward the door. "I need to speak with Regina."

"Would you like me to come with you?" Charming asked, but Emma just shook her head. "Thanks, I think I need a little alone time. I'll walk."

The snow was gone. And it didn't seem likely that Elsa had returned to storybrooke and decided to melt everything. Despite her nerves she couldn't help but walk with a lighter step at the observation.

"Regina!" she called, pounding on the door to Regina's office. "Come on Regina, I need to talk to you."

The door finally slipped open and Regina appeared, "Miss Swan, my condolences... but there's really nothing I can-"

"I think I'm moving back in time."

Regina's eyebrows went up. "Time travel. Again, Fantastic. Have you run this theory by Archie?"

"I'm serious, Regina."

"As am I. I understand this is hard for you, but-"

"This is not... Regina, listen to me. When I woke up yesterday it had snowed. There were four inches of snow on the ground and my parents took me to Killian's funeral."

"That's not until-"

"I know."

"Ok, let's say conceivably that you are... in an unusual timeline. What do you want me to do about it?"

"Tell me, Is it possible?"

"I would have told you time travel was impossible this time last year. Unfortunately it seems I was wrong."

"If it's true... can I change it, save him? I've changed it before right?"

"Haven't you learned anything? Changing the past is dangerous. You never know what else you'll screw up. You might save your boyfriend and kill the rest of the town. Henry, yourself, no one knows."

"So what, I'm supposed to just watch it happen again?"

"If you're smart you'll do just that. Besides you don't even remember what happened do you?"

"How do you know that?"

"Because if you didn't need my help then you wouldn't be here. You'd just go off and save your little boyfriend with no regard for the consequences. It's what you do."

"How dare you!" Emma snapped, in no mood for Regina's disdain right now. "I did what I thought was right, and I tried to mitigate the consequences of that choice. Whether you like it or not. I succeeded. Yes, I brought Marian back because it was the best option I had. Everything after that was your choice, and Robin's."

For a moment Emma thought Regina would slam the door in her face, but to her surprise she didn't. Her surprise was even greater when Regina sighed and opened the door further. "Look, I would have tried the same thing. I did the same thing. I tried to bring Daniel back. But you must understand there are always consequences."

"I can't just let him die Regina. If I have the opportunity to save him, I will. Help me. Maybe with your help I won't screw anything else up."

Regina eyed Emma for a moment then finally stepped aside. "Do come in, Miss Swan."

* * *

**Everybody still following? I know inverted causality is a bizarre way to read. Hopefully you started getting the pattern early on. I've never tried anything like this so I hope it wasn't too confusing :)**

**In related news this story is about to tic its way past 100,000 views. Like what. Just for perspective that comes out to like 1 and a half words per view. So for every word (And a half) I've written of this monstrous compilation... someone has made the (questionable?) decision to click on this story. Let me just let that sink in for a moment... Wow. That's pretty cool. **

**Edit: So Nouqueret tells me there's a Sandra Bullock movie with this kind of timeline. Hilariously, I've never actually seen it so I guess this is what... an unintentional cross over :P *Must find this movie...* **


	51. Time Waits for No one 2

_"I can't just let him die Regina. If I have the opportunity to save him, I will. Help me. Maybe with your help I won't screw anything else up."_

_Regina eyed Emma for a moment then finally stepped aside. "Do come in, Miss Swan."_

* * *

The number of horrible looking deformities in Regina's books we're almost enough to make Emma wonder if she did not yet truly understand the possible price of magic. And Regina's insistence in showing her the most grotesque possibilities was not among the more subtle ways for Regina to make her point.

"Have you changed anything yet?" Regina asked tersely as Emma tried to pull her eyes away from trying to determine if that were an arm or a leg coming out of that person's back.

"How am I supposed to know?"

"Think about it Emma. You say you woke up the day after the funeral. Did anything happen that day that didn't seem like it would normally have happened?"

"I don't think so... I mean I didn't know what was going on yet."

"Ok the next day. The day of the funeral? Did anything strike you as strange?"

"Aside from discovering that my fiancee has been dead for days?"

"If you can't be serious-"

"I'm sorry, ok." Emma grumbled, "Umm... I didn't know, the funeral was happening so Snow had to tell me to get changed. I guess that was odd. And... the necklace. Mom asked... or... will ask Eric to give me Killian's necklace. I wouldn't have asked for it. It was his, wouldn't seem right for him to be without it."

"So..."

"So I freaked out when I didn't have it this morning. That's probably why she asked for it. What does that mean? Is that good?"

"Depends on your perspective, I suppose. It means you might be able to change things."

"So how do I change something when I don't know what happened the first time."

"I guess that's up to you savior," Regina retorted.

"So what did they want? The three stooges? I don't remember them coming into town."

"They are so dramatic," Regina said with a roll of her eyes. "I swear you impersonate a sea witch one time-"

"Regina?"

"Well they played nice for a grand total of 18 hours before they started talking about taking over the world and fixing the endings. Probably a new record for them-"

"What endings."

"The book, Emma." A hint of guilt reared its head as Emma remembered. She was supposed to help Regina find the author... whatever that meant. "They wanted to change the endings too."

"And how did they plan on doing that?"

"By corrupting the hero's. If the good guys always win then they have to keep the good guys from being quite so good, right. Or that's their theory anyway... But none of us know what happened once you went under that library. They wanted you to come alone. Hook disobeyed of course but the rest of us were most thoroughly distracted by the other two trying to rip the town apart."

"Where was Henry?"

"Your parents. Emma, you can't tell your parents what is happening."

"Why?"

"Frankly the less anyone knows, the less likely things will get messed up. And they were the one's protecting Henry. You can't risk changing that."

Emma didn't leave Regina's until late trying to accumulate all of the knowledge she could about the days she couldn't remember. The moment she entered her apartment that evening her parents converged on her.

"What did she say?"

"She probably thinks I'm crazy." Emma shook her head. "I guess we'll find out tomorrow."

"Tomorrow, but tomorrow..." Snow started.

"If I'm right then you won't remember any of this tomorrow," Emma confirmed.

"So tell us again, Emma we want to help you."

"Sure," Emma lied, "if you don't mind... I'm kind of eager to get to bed early. If Henry wakes up would you apologize for me? Tell him... tell him I'll see him in the morning."

Charming nodded, "of course."

She stared at the ceiling for what seemed like hours. Counting the ticks of the clock, the steps of Charming pacing downstairs and Neal's cries for dinner. At some point it grew quiet and Snow and Charming left for their own apartment. She was half tempted to dig around under her sink for nyquil but it was too much of a risk. She'd no idea how this worked, only that it seemed to. She couldn't risk messing it up. Breathing deeply she counted the seconds, holding her breath and exhaling with a slow even breath. 100... 99... 98... 97...

* * *

"You're so beautiful in the morning."

Emma's eyes snapped open abruptly and met crystal clear blue.

"Killian?"

"Were you expecting someone else, love?" he mumbled teasingly, tightening his grip on her waist. Emma was frozen in shock for a moment before finally her mind began to process what was happening. She raised one hand to his cheek and brushed her thumb across the morning stubble with shaking fingers. Killian's smile faltered.

"Swan... Emma, lass, what's wrong?"

She didn't trust her voice yet though, and so she just buried her face into him, clinging like a lifeline, unbidden tears soaking his neck.

"Love?" She still didn't respond and so he tightened his own grip around her, pulling her flush to him and brushing his fingers through her hair soothingly. "Emma please, why are you crying?" His voice was shaky and uncertain. Could she really blame him? A perfectly normal morning to him and she was dissolving into a puddle of tears clinging to him like a frightened child.

Finally she drew back and he brushed her hair back from her face. With the first smile she'd felt in days she pressed forward, kissing him abruptly. It was harsh and desperate with no hint of the gentleness that had become so common, but it was real. Too solid to be a dream.

"Please say something, Emma," Killian asked when she finally released him.

"I love you."

He grinned and kissed her forehead, "and I you. Was it a nightmare, love?"

"You were gone-"

"I'm not leaving you. I'm right here."

"You did. You will. She's going to kill you."

"I don't think your mother is that scary," he teased.

Emma glowered at Killian as he drew his fingers gently down her arm. "I'm being serious, Killian. Maleficent. She's going to kill you."

"It was just a dream. What have I told you love-"

"NO." Emma burst out. "Not this time. I was there Killian, I watched. I watched them sew you into a hammock. How would I know that is how it's done... we don't bury a lot of sailors in Storybrooke."

Killian propped himself up on an elbow, watching her carefully. "So... this is some kind of a prophecy?"

"Something like that. Killian they're going to come out of hiding today. You can't be there."

His eyebrows shot up. "Ah... of course. I'll just hide in the nursery with the little ones then?"

"K-"

"That's not going to happen, Swan. I will _not_ let you face them alone."

"Then you will die. Again."

"So be it," he answered tersely, but his gaze softened when he looked at her. "I can see the fierceness in your eyes, love. The need to protect... Am I not allowed the same?"

"And if it was me? If you knew the day of my death wouldn't you beg me to stay hidden away?"

"And wouldn't you refuse me? This prophecy of yours. In the end you and your family are unharmed?" She didn't respond but he must have seen the answer in her eyes. "And you'd be willing to risk them? What if my hiding like a craven costs them their lives, or you yours? I can't take that chance."

"Please Killian." She reached tentative fingers for him, drifting down his chest until she could feel the steady thump of his heart under her fingers. "Don't make me watch you get stitched up into that sheet again."

Killian wrapped his arms around her once more, pressing her head forward gently. Before she could say anything more her phone rang. She glanced over at it, and very seriously considered ignoring it. Until his started ringing too.

"I'm not sure I'm very fond of these devices," Killian commented as she reached for it.

"Hey mom... OK, we'll be right there." She hung up the phone, not moving to leave his arms.

"Forewarned is forearmed, aye love? This prophecy of yours... it gives us an advantage."

"I don't know how to fix it, Killian," she whispered. "I don't know how it happens. Just that it does."

"If it does-"

"Killian-"

"No lass, let me speak. If my day has finally come-"

"Please don't talk like this," she whispered dropping her eyes. Killian placed light fingers under her chin to make her look at him again.

"We've a rare opportunity here. Most don't get a warning. I've not been subtle love; you know that you mean the world to me. More than the world... And I'd regret not seeing you in your wedding dress... and a hundred other things. But in the end, if it costs my life to protect you and your family I'd willingly give it. A hundred times over and be glad of the opportunity."

"Please don't do this Killian."

"I'll not leave you, love. Not so long as I've any choice." He paused, considering. "Where does it happen?" he asked.

"In the town square," Emma lied flatly. "I'm going to fix this Killian. We're going to fix this," her voice was hard and cold and Killian pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. She pulled away hurriedly, getting changed with her back to him. She was afraid to look at him now. He knew her too well... he'd see the lie in her eyes.

"Very dramatic," Killian replied, finally getting up too. "I approve."

"It's not funny Killian," she snapped, pulling her jacket out of the closet. A warm hand closed over her shoulder and she jumped. Killian took the jacket from her shaking fingers and held it out for her. _Always the gentleman... _

_"_You should laugh anyway. You've a bloody gorgeous smile and before long you'll be obliged to laugh at all my jokes no matter how tasteless."

"I am not putting that in the vows," she grumbled, slipping on the jacket.

"No, perhaps not." he murmured in her ear, wrapping his arms around her from behind. "But you'll do it anyway. I've a very fine wit, Swan, you won't be able to help yourself."

She did laugh, in spite of herself, rotating in his arms to face him. "You know what. You keep yourself alive today and I'll put whatever the hell you want in those vows."

Killian grinned, "Dangerous words Swan, do be careful what promises you make to a pirate."

She pulled away with a smile, taking his hand as they hurried out of the apartment.

Out on the street it became immediately obvious why they had been summoned.

"Hell beastie is back..." Killian commented, sounding every bit like he was surveying the weather rather than a giant black bat-spawn-of-hellfire soaring over the town. "And it brought a friend." Indeed a giant Dragon was perched atop the library clock tower.

"Didn't I kill that-" Emma muttered and Killian glanced at her with eyebrows raised. Emma just shrugged and headed down the street, one eye on the skies. Fortunately the dragon seemed content to watch them, making no move to follow.

"Were you going to tell me at some point that you were a dragon slayer?" Killian asked in stunned admiration, half jogging to catch up.

"Apparently I'm not." Emma replied.

"To the town square?" he asked.

"No... they're holed up in Gold's shop," Emma said.

"Is that wise?" Killian wondered out loud from behind her.

"Belle is there. He won't risk her."

"The dark one? He's back?"

Emma nodded. "And whatever we need it's probably in his shop too. Regina has put her own little enchantment on it. Even Gold will have difficulty getting in.

The magical barrier rippled slightly as they passed through. Snow and Charming were already there with Neal and Henry. Belle was pouring over a book and Regina was pacing in the front hall. Ruby and Granny were in the back of the room and Granny looked as though she were considering shooting Regina if she didn't stop pacing soon.

"What does she want," Emma burst out the moment she entered the door. She was pretty sure she already knew but perhaps Regina had forgotten to tell her something.

"Oh that's not the half of it." Regina said. She waved her hand and a mirror on the wall rippled and changed. The docks came into view in it's reflected surface. The sea roared with vengeful anger. The ships were mostly splintered and cracked and Killian winced in spite of himself. The mirror rippled again and the scenery changed. Rabid looking dogs growled and spat from somewhere in the woods waiting at the beck and call of a tall woman in black and white.

"What are they waiting for?" Killian asked, "They could have their choice. Between flooding and burning and a pack of bloody hellhounds they could have reduced Storybrooke to dust. Why haven't they?"

"Because," Regina responded. "They want Emma."

"Why?" Emma asked.

"Maleficent wants you to come to the Library alone to... talk." Snow said, rolling her eyes. "It's obviously a trap of some kind."

"Of course it's a trap," Regina said irritably. "I don't see that we've many viable alternatives though. We can't take them all together."

"So we split up," Emma suggested. "Ruby and Granny, take Killian and the dwarves to deal with the ... hell hounds as you put it. Regina can you handle Ursula?"

"We're overdue to find out."

"We'll go with Emma," Snow offered quickly.

"No!" Emma retorted, "Someone needs to watch Henry and my brother."

"Emma you can't go alone," Charming protested, glancing at Killian.

"She's not going alone," Killian affirmed and Emma's stomach jumped into her throat.

"No. You can't."

"Course I can love. Besides, you know I've nothing to fear from the library right?" he said with a sly smile. Emma tried to smile back but she was certain it looked forced.

"Killian, you're a swordsman." Emma said, trying to inject her voice with as much confidence as she could manage. "Without magic you're far better suited to deal with Cruella and her beasts."

"Swan-"

"It's fine Killian. I've defeated her once before, before I even knew I had magic ... I'll do it again. Trust me, I can handle this."

Killian watched her carefully for a moment before he finally yielded. He nodded but still there was a skeptical look on his face. Regina had already left and Granny and Ruby were hovering outside waiting for him. He paused, slipping his arm around her waist.

"Be careful," he murmured.

"You too," she replied.

He let out a sigh of resignation, kissed her lightly on the cheek and hurried to catch up with the wolves. A wave of relief spread through Emma as she watched him go. Away from Maleficent.

Her parents still hovered but Emma dismissed their concerns quickly. "I can handle this," she repeated. "But I need to know you guys are looking after Henry."

Finally they acquiesced too and left, leaving her alone in the shop with Belle.

Belle handed her the bracelet that had once bound Regina's powers. "If you can get close to her," Belle said, "this might be able to bind her powers."

"And what about the other two," Emma muttered, "We're going to need a bigger jail."

_Time to face the dragon... again._

* * *

She took the stairs down beneath the library, not liking the idea of announcing her entrance via the elevator.

Unfortunately that didn't seem to matter.

"Hello dear." The dragon had shed all but her horns by the time Emma arrived under the library. Maleficent was waiting for her at the entrance to a familiar cavern.

"Didn't I kill you already?"

"Didn't stick, apparently." Maleficent retorted.

"What are you doing here? What do you want?" Emma asked.

"Don't you remember, dear? We've already had this conversation."

"Yeah, well apparently it wasn't memorable."

"I understand, that spell can do a number on one's faculties."

Emma's eyes widened. "You... you did this?"

"I had some help."

"Why?"

"I wanted you to see what was coming."

"You mean you being banished from the town? You lost!"

"Did we now. I remember it differently. I remember you sobbing over your lovers corpse. Is that the victory you claim?"

"It's going to be different this time."

"No, darling, it really isn't. You think Cruella and her beasts can't rip your pirate to shreds? Ursula is downright livid that she didn't get the chance to kill him herself... He will die. By my hand or someone else's. Unless you do something to stop us."

Emma pulled out her gun leveling it at Maleficent's head. "I don't know if this will kill you, but I suspect even you can't survive a bullet to the head. Why are you doing this? Why are you giving me a chance to fix it?"

"You're the hero dear, would you choose to kill me when you have that perfectly good bracelet in your jacket pocket? Of course last time you just banished me and I killed him. Guess you need to try something stronger..."

"That's what this is about? Whether or not I will kill you first?"

"That's exactly what this is about."

"I think you have me confused with my mother," Emma retorted, "I will have no problem putting a bullet in your scaly hide."

"I do not confuse you with your mother. You have dark potential inside you, Emma Swan; we're here to let it out. Why should you get your happy ending when you're not so very different then we are?"

"That is not dark potential, I am defending my family."

"Whatever makes this easier for you dear."

"He's not even here. You can't hurt him. I won't let you."

Maleficent smiled coldly. "I suggest you make your decision quickly, or you know how this ends." Her skin began to ripple and darken and Emma tensed. She dove behind a pillar just as a giant dragon burst through Maleficent's skin and a column of fire split around the column. The moment the fire abated Emma peaked around the column. The dragon was gone... _where the hell could a dragon hide?_

Emma crept forward towards the ledge hoping to catch a glimpse of the foe. There was a crackling noise and Emma's throat went dry. Before she had a moment to think, something barreled into her, shoving her several meters to the side before crushing her into the stone. Her bones jarred at the contact but she'd no time to complain. The spot where she'd just been standing was engulfed in flames.

"Killian, I told you-"

"I'm not accustomed to following orders love. Bloody hell... I liked that jacket" His voice was pained and Emma smelled burning leather. The back of his jacket was smoking.

"Killian you can't be here-"

"As it turns out..."

"Killian-"

"I know love. Cruella enlightened me to their little game."

"And you came here anyway!"

"Yeah well if I hadn't you'd be a smoldering heap on the ground so 'thank you' will do."

"Thank you... now get out of here," Emma ordered.

"Have you entirely taken leave of your senses? I'm not leaving you here."

"Tick tock, Captain," Maleficent's voice was deeper now, more a growl than anything else now. "Any final words?"

"Bugger you," Killian called and the booming voice laughed.

"Eloquent as always, Captain." There was a whoosh of wings and Emma started. She ripped free of Killian's arms and jumped out to face the dragon. A sudden pulse of light lit the cavern. It ripped its way through one of the columns and large boulders flew towards Maleficent. One slammed into the dragon's chest and threw it back into the wall.

She fell into the canyon a tumble of rock following her.

When the rock settled a small voice echoed from the bottom of the canyon. "I told you Emma, when our happiness is on the line... we're not so very different. "

Killian took her hand, pulling her away toward the stairs. "Hurry love, I suspect that column wasn't decorative." Indeed there was a grinding and shifting of stone that made Emma break out into a cold sweat. This whole place was crumbling, it's only a matter of time.

Still she hesitated... Finally she pulled away from Killian carefully picking her way down towards the voice.

"Don't listen to her..." Killian warned, "She's manipulating you, love."

"Doesn't change the fact that she's right. Stay here, I may need some help getting back up."

"Emma-" Her eyes were set, cold and immovable as steel. In a few minutes she had nearly reached Maleficent. Killian pulled away from the ledge searching for something useful. A rope perhaps? Maleficent still wore her dragon skin but she was pinned, immobile under a pile of heavy stones. Emma pulled the bracelet out of her pocket and the dragon let out a chuckle.

"You put that on me it will kill me just as surely," Maleficent growled. Emma ignored her and glanced up at Killian.

"This whole room may collapse if you move her," he called in warning.

Emma took a deep breath. She'd seen Regina transport herself a hundred times. How hard could it be? Finally she clasped the bracelet around one of the dragon's giant claws. The rock began to shift and Emma held tight to the dragon. One second she held a claw, the next a woman's hand. In the split second before the rock came tumbling down Emma closed her eyes, focusing on Killian and reaching for her magic.

Suddenly the floor went out from under her and an iron grip grabbed her wrist. She was stretched to the breaking point. Maleficent held to one wrist and Killian the other. She had tried to carry them to the ledge where Killian stood but she missed, placing herself right on the edge of the precipice. Killian had locked his hook into the crack of another stone column but she could already hear the crumbling. It was giving way. The whole room was giving way.

Closing her eyes she thought of home just as the whole room collapsed in on them.

* * *

A startled gasp was the first thing Killian heard. There was a slight scuffle and Killian glanced over towards the side. They were in Snow and Charming's apartment. Maleficent had tried to stand and run but Charming tackled her to the ground, handcuffing her to the front door to be dealt with later. Clearly the bracelet worked...

"Emma?" Snow said quietly . Killian looked to her instantly. He still held Emma's wrist tight in his hand but she was still.

He released her wrist and crawled closer shaking her gently. "Emma? Wake up, love." She didn't stir. He clenched his fingers to stop their shaking moving them to the side of her neck where he could always feel the steady beat of her heart. To his relief he felt it now.

"Where's Regina?" he asked Snow.

"At the docks still, I think," she replied.

"Get her here," Killian ordered. He was being rude no doubt but he was quite certain he would not remember his manners until Emma opened her eyes. He scooped her up and moved her to the couch as Snow called Regina.

A few moments later there was a burst of purple smoke and Regina appeared in the Charming's living room. She spared one glance for Maleficent's newest fashion accessory before moving to the couch to see to Emma. She touched Emma's forehead with one glowing hand and for a moment said nothing.

Finally Regina moved her hand away. "She's an idiot, just an exhausted idiot. She's never done that before and her mind is trying to catch up ... give her a few minutes."

The atmosphere in the room relaxed considerably and Charming turned his attention to Maleficent. "One down," he noted. "Where's Ursula?"

Regina grinned, "a bit tied up in her own tentacles at the moment..."

"And Ruby turned Cruella's dogs against her," Killian added, "they've got her holed up at the top of a tree."

Regina chuckled, "I'll need to see that, but for now I suppose I should help Maleficent do some sight seeing. Let's start with the sheriff's station shall we?" Regina disappeared with Maleficent and Killian returned his attention to Emma. He reached for her hand and squeezed lightly, running his fingers across his ring that she had finally agreed to wear. She stirred and Killian squeezed her hand tighter.

"Good morning, beautiful," he greeted her when her eyes finally opened. She shot up and threw her arms around him squeezing so hard he could barely breathe. "I'm fine, Emma," he murmured in her ear. "Everyone's fine."

She didn't let go though, and finally he shifted to sit next to her on the couch. Snow had dragged Charming away at some point and though Killian didn't remember them leaving he was grateful nonetheless for the opportunity to pull Emma into his lap.

"Can we just stay here," Emma asked, her voice muffled by a jacket which still smelled of smoke and burned leather. "I don't want to leave this apartment for the rest of the day."

"Well... technically this is your parents apartment. Though I doubt they'd mind, given the circumstances."

"What if I wake up tomorrow and you're gone again?"

"I'll be here."

"You can't promise that," she grumbled.

"No... I suppose I can't," he admitted. "But I'm fine. Maleficent has no powers, Ursula and Cruella are neutralized." Her eyelids were drooping again though she struggled to stay awake. "How about you sleep, and I'll wake you up in a couple hours. So you can see everything is ok?"

"You better. If I wake up and you're gone I'll... kill you myself."

"That would probably be more threatening if you weren't mostly asleep already."

"mmm not."

He shook his head and tightened his arms around her. "Sleep, love. I've got you."

* * *

She woke cold. Soft blankets swaddled her tightly but Killian's arms were gone. She clenched her eyes tighter once more afraid to open them. When she finally did she saw the walls of her own room. Her own apartment.

_This isn't over, _she realized, stiffening and pulling the blankets in closer. She didn't want their warmth. She wanted his.

Tears began to fill her eyes again as she worked up the nerve to get out of bed and find out what day it was. Before she could do so though, the covers lifted up next to her, letting in cold air. The chill was immediately chased away by strong arms pulling her backward into him.

"Good morning, beautiful." He dropped a kiss on the side of her neck as he settled in next to her, "I told you I'd be here..."

* * *

**Congratulations on another survived hiatus, everyone :) Buckle in for whatever crazy nonsense they've got coming at us this season! **

**(What are you most excited to see this season?) Domestic CS and Belle and Killian's friendship**** is killing me! **


	52. Taste the Darkness, 1 of 2

**_You know I had to_** **_take a shot at "emma tastes the darkness" before next week...! Part 2 up tomorrow night probably... Just need to finish editing._**

**_I've seen a few dark Emma fics but they often start in the middle or explain her darkness with a curse. I wanted to explore a more natural progression. Enjoy._**

* * *

"Emma please-"

"Yes?" Snow stopped speaking abruptly as though she hadn't expected to get any further. "Please tell me why you thought it was a good idea to lie to me. To withhold pertinent information from me. To pretend-" Emma took a deep breath and clenched her shaking hands.

She felt a light pressure as Killian put his hand on the small of her back. "Love, why don't we go get a hot chocolate, talk about this later."

Emma pulled away, her gaze still fixed on her parents. "You're no different from them."

Snow gaped and Charming stepped forward, "That's not fair, Emma. We were only trying to protect you-"

"And she wasn't? She was trying to protect her child too, wasn't she," Emma fumed, flinching away as Killian rubbed gently in a way that was probably supposed to be comforting.

She could feel the magic dancing along her skin as her anger grew. "You're just like them. You just won. The villains... they're just one's that lose. They don't lose because they're villains... they're villains because they lost."

"Emma, that's not true" Killian interrupted, trying to move closer, but she matched each step forward with one back.

"All this nonsense about a savior," Emma laughed scornfully, "it's just a way to keep me under control. You need something from me. You need my magic. Just like they did. My foster parents took me because it got them a lunch ticket. You want so much more."

"Emma, sweetheart-" Snow implored, but Emma had already turned. Killian reached for her and missed, but he wasn't going to let her out of his sight. Not this time. He hurried after her, catching her arm when he finally caught up with her. She shook him off, one hand on the car door.

"I'm done, Killian. I'm not doing this anymore. I'm done being their precious savior and I'm done talking to them."

"Aye," Killian responded carefully. "Let me come with you?"

Emma hesitated, and she watched his face fall at her resistance. Finally she looked over her shoulder. Her parents were catching up. She threw one hand out and they froze in place unable to move another step.

"You'll just follow me, won't you?" she asked, turning back to Killian.

"Aye."

"I could freeze you here, just like them."

"Aye," he replied again, "but then I'd help them find you."

She raised an eyebrow, "you think you could?"

He shrugged, "Doesn't matter, I'd have to try."

Finally Emma glanced over at her parents then back to him.

"Get in," she said gruffly. "One word about them and I'll poof you out the window, understand?"

He nodded, letting go of her arm and moving around the front of the car to the passenger side. She didn't lock the door, or run him down as he crossed, so that was ... something.

The car was eerily quiet. He wasn't used to the quiet, but Emma was inside her own head and seemed to hardly notice he was there.

"Where are we going?" He asked finally.

"I need to think."

"Are you unable to think in this contraption?"

"So what do you want?"

Killian raised his eyebrows, "A hamburger wouldn't be turned down."

"What do you want from me? There are easier lays."

For a moment he was taken aback by the abruptness of her question. "I just want to help."

"No one just wants to help. So what is it _you_ want?"

"Swan-"

"Don't do that, just... You know what, fine. Keep your secrets. Apparently that's what were all good at."

Silence reigned again and Killian leaned back, just watching her pointedly ignore him. Finally Emma reached a spot she liked, somewhere near the town line and stopped the car. She casually flicked her hand and a semi transparent shield settled over them.

He turned to the window after a minute spoke. "She made a deal with the dark one for the power to destroy me." Emma spared him an enquiring glance and he continued. "It was her brother. He had ... information, a way to track the dark one. Or he said he did so I took him aboard. Turns out he was just in search of information himself. He was seeking the path to Neverland. I don't... like being lied to."

"What happened to him?"

"Caught him digging through my papers, figured he was one of the Dark One's spies. I ... I sent him to the locker."

"Just like that?" Emma asked.

"I was... an ... impatient man." Killian said quietly.

"So you made the sea witch?"

"Her name was Vanessa then," Killian said. "When she found out what I'd done she sought out the Dark One. She wanted the ability to follow me wherever I should go and drag me, ship crew and all, into the abyss. As you might imagine. the Crocodile happily obliged her fancy."

Emma chuckled to herself and Killian's eyebrows furrowed. "I told you Killian. It doesn't matter, you did what you had to do."

"No, Swan. I did what was easy," he retorted. She shrugged and Killian reached for her hand, he clasped it tightly but she didn't return his grip. "What you said earlier-"

"I don't want to talk about this."

"Swan, please just listen-" Suddenly he felt a buzzing in his skin, like when your hand goes numb, or the phantom pain that struck him in the late hours of the night... but everywhere just for a moment. And then he was standing out on the road. The bug was nowhere in sight.

"Emma?... EMMA?" he cried. "I know you can hear me love, don't do this." He paced back and forth in agitated exasperation. "Fine love, if you don't want to talk we won't talk. Just don't ... don't leave."

A split second later he was back in the bug and he sighed in relief. "You've gotten very good with your magic," he commented.

"I'm not afraid of it anymore."

"That's good, love."

"I'm not going to be their savior anymore, Killian. I'm tired of always worrying about everyone else's happiness, when they don't give a damn about mine. I won't be the one that loses."

Killian sat silent, unsure of what he could say that wouldn't get him forcibly ejected from the vehicle.

"And what's your happy ending, Swan?"

She looked pensive for a time before speaking. "Henry should never have had to grow up without his mother. When I first met him... he felt as unloved as I always had. He deserved better."

"But now he has a family."

"He has more family then he needs. I won't wait for them to find a way to use him too. I'll fix it. Zelena's problem was that she tried to change too much. Too many unpredictable repercussions. If I changed something small... Something recent, like drinking that potion."

Killian's stomach jumped into his throat, "in New York?" he asked, voice far more steady than he felt.

"Then it would just be us, in New York. We were happy there."

"It wasn't real-"

"It could be." She finally seemed to notice he was there and saw the look on his face. "Oh don't worry...New York isn't so bad Killian, who knows you might fit right in."

"Swan you wouldn't remember me... or anyone without that potion."

"I don't want to remember anyone." She turned into her seat and reached out to cup his cheek. "Oh come on Killian, afraid you won't be able to make an impression without your botched true loves kiss?"

He smiled half-heartedly, at a sudden loss for words. "You're angry, love. Give yourself some time before you make any dr-"

Emma laughed and turned away, "I'm beyond angry," she grumbled, "and I've made my decision. I need to talk to someone that knows about magic."

"Like Regina?"

Emma smiled, "somehow I don't think she'll want to assist me. I need to speak with Maleficent."

Killian's jaw dropped. "The she-beast? Really do you think that's w-"

"Don't worry I'll protect you from you're tentacled friend." With a sudden rush of energy she pushed open the car door.

"Maleficent," she called. "I know you can hear me. I want to talk to you."

There was a rumbling sound and Killian hurried from the car grabbing Emma's wrist as a black column of smoke materialized in front of the car.

"Emma, dear, it is rude to summon someone and then not show yourself," the witch said.

"Swan, don't do this. Please-"

Emma ignored him, waving her hand and the transparent shield rippled and expanded to encompass Maleficent too.

"There you are dear, how may I be of assistance?"

"I know you don't want to help me. You want justice, I can give it to you."

"Really?"

"Yes, but I need your help."

"And why should I trust you. Does deception run in the family?"

"I'm not a liar, not like them."

Maleficent nodded approvingly. "What is it you want from me, dear?"

"I want to go back. I think the key is subtle changes. But If I can change one thing, then my parents have to live apart from me and my son forever. Isn't that what you want?"

"Indeed," Maleficent observed, "it is only justice. But even if I could...changing the past is tricky."

"Zelena was able to do it."

"Zelena failed. The past is in the past dear, why not just change the present?"

Emma raised her eyebrows suspiciously and Maleficent continued. "You don't need to run from them dear. You're the one with magic. They should run from you."

"Regina has magic too," Emma replied.

"You are the product of true love, I can help you unlock your potential. You can take your son, and banish anyone you don't want. This can be your world, Emma. You just have to take it."

To Killian's horror, Emma just smiled. "You can show me how to control more magic?"

"I can."

"When do we start?"

"Right now. You've used magic before, but you're limiting yourself."

"I'm not limiting myself," Emma retorted, "I just can't always control it."

"Your magic is tied to your emotions. And you're only using one emotion. You must learn to use all of your emotions. Your anger will give you power that the positive emotions can never unlock. Focus on your anger, see what happens."

Emma closed her eyes and almost immediaptely an electric crackling started humming through the air. "Swan?" Killian said warningly.

Sparks began to dance across her skin and a power line above them burst and fell, crackling towards them, Killian dove towards Emma on instinct, shoving her out of the way of the falling wire. When his skin touched hers though a burst of flames ripped up his skin. He was frozen in place for a moment before he was shoved back by a wave of energy. He landed hard on the pavement. Emma seemed to come out of her trance and she shook her head slightly.

"Wow... that was incredible," she murmured.

Maleficent smiled. "Keep practicing dear, you'll be unstoppable." Then she was gone, leaving them alone in the street. Emma finally seemed to notice Killian as he struggled to stand, muscles still a little unstable. He glanced down at his hand and saw a deep red burn that traced its way up his forearm. He rubbed it gingerly, wondering exactly how far it went.

"Hook, that was incredible," she repeated. "I had no idea I could do that!" Killian limped over to her and she cocked her head to one side, "you ok?" she asked as an afterthought.

"Been worse," he replied, "You should be careful, love, that kind of power... it's unpredictable.

Emma waved him off, leaning against the bug and watching the sparks that still played over her fingers.

He reached out and touched her arm gently, it tingled but he didn't get shocked again. "Emma, you're messing with something dangerous."

Emma pulled her arm away. "You too? You're all afraid of what I can do!"

"I'm afraid that you'll hurt yourself. He raised his arm, shoving up the coat sleeve so she could see the marks she'd left on his arm, "you don't know how to control this yet, Emma. You need to be more careful."

"You need to not touch me while I'm working." He dropped his coat sleeve back over the burns, shocked into silence yet again. Finally he moved closer, touching her cheek gently. He leaned in and kissed her softly, praying perhaps he could remind her of who she was only a few hours ago. To his surprise she leaned in and grabbed his lapels, pulling him forward and deepening the kiss. She pulled him flush against her, pressing back into the hood of the bug.

"You know what's great about this energy field, pirate?" she asked, pausing to bite his lip gently. Killian swallowed hard, he was pretty sure he knew. His arms seemed to tighten around her of their own accord and she grinned up at him. "Finally getting some privacy."

He let out a low groan as she pushed her hips up into his. "Swan-" he growled.

"Problem pirate?" she asked innocently.

"Lass, please-"

"Please what, Hook?"

There were any number of ways he wanted to end that sentence but he clenched his jaw shut and didn't say any of them. Emma let out a little huff of frustration and pulled him forward by the lapels again. He met her kiss with equal intensity, her sudden passion demanding and intoxicating.

"I know you want me," she growled in his ear, shooting sparks of an entirely different variety through him. "I can feel it. "

"Swan- he started again.

"You could have me, Hook, right here. We could... christen my vessel. I've already replaced the windshield once..." Emma pressed her hips upwards again, smirking as his eyes drifted shut. Killian was at war with himself, his mind yelled at him to move back, to step away, but his fingers only tightened their grip on her hip.

"Not like this," he whispered, "not because you're angry and half drunk with whatever the hell you just did."

"Such a gentleman," she mocked, "And yet... you've still got me pinned to this car. Perhaps you're not so much the gentleman after all." She dropped her lips to his neck sucking hard until she was sure it would bruise. His breath caught in his throat in a strangled sound as her lips rose to his ear again, "I want you," she whispered.

With an abrupt violent motion Killian ripped himself away, stumbling back a few steps. He turned away from her running his hand through his hair in frustration. "This isn't you," he muttered to himself, to her, she wasn't really sure.

Emma scoffed, "How the hell do you know?"

He turned back to her, closing the distance again and kissing her cheek. She turned into the kiss biting his lip and trying to draw him forward again but Killian pulled back, keeping the kiss soft and light. Finally Emma shoved him away in frustration.

"I have work to do-"

* * *

**_WHat did you think, feel free to tell me your headcanon to all this dark emma forshadowing they're teasing us with!  
_**


	53. Taste the Darkness (2 of 2)

**_Last time on 'you didn't need your heart anyway':_**

_"Such a gentleman," she mocked, "And yet... you've still got me pinned to this car. Perhaps you're not so much the gentleman after all." She dropped her lips to his neck sucking hard until she was sure it would bruise. His breath caught in his throat in a strangled sound as her lips rose to his ear again, "I want you," she whispered._

_With an abrupt violent motion Killian ripped himself away, stumbling back a few steps. He turned away from her running his hand through his hair in frustration. "This isn't you," he muttered to himself, to her, she wasn't really sure._

_Emma scoffed, "How the hell do you know?"_

_He turned back to her, closing the distance again and kissing her cheek. She turned into the kiss biting his lip and trying to draw him forward again but Killian pulled back, keeping the kiss soft and light. Finally Emma shoved him away in frustration._

_"I have work to do-"_

* * *

"You don't want this, Emma. This isn't your path."

"Says who?" Emma spun, her eyes narrowed and cold. "Who decided that? I've been good all my life. Even when I was a thief, I was just trying to survive. Who are you _of all people_ to tell me that I can't do what _I want _for a change."

"I'm someone who's walked this path, love. I know its temptation. And I know how much harder it is to come back than it is to fall."

"Yes, you did didn't you. Seems like everyone is allowed to put their toe over the line when it suits them... except the precious savior."

Killian swallowed hard, "and I regret it," he said quietly. "The weight of my past it's... sometimes I don't know how I can still breathe."

"You know what, fine. Just leave then. Why not? Everyone else has betrayed me. I knew it was only a matter of time before you did too."

"I'll not leave you." His hand came up to her face again, thumb rubbing gently across her cheek. "I promised to see the best in you, Emma. And I still do."

Emma rolled her eyes.

"I will be there for you no matter what," he repeated.

"So you'll help me?" she asked.

"I won't leave you... but I won't help drag you under either."

"So you won't help me? What good are you then?" she asked bitterly.

He leaned forward and kissed her gently again, "I'm a pretty good kisser," he offered.

* * *

Killian did not touch her the next time she practiced, flinching as she brought down power lines all around them. The very air seemed to crackle and burn. There was a mad sort of glee in her eyes when she looked at him, and he carefully kept his face neutral.

"Do you think Granny and Ruby will stay," she asked him abruptly when she stopped to rest. Her muscles were tensed with exertion and the sparks still danced over her skin.

"Where?"

"Here, once I kick out my parents."

"I think a great many people will leave with them if they are exiled."

Her eyes hardened. "Of course, because they're the perfect Prince and Princess."

"No one is perfect," he replied, "They make mistakes just like everyone else."

Emma laughed, "I suppose you want me to give them another chance." Killian didn't respond, knowing the answer would only enrage her.

"Move back," she said finally in an exasperated tone. "You're judgmental face is distracting me." She thought he would make a joke of it, but he didn't.

"It's not judgment, love."

"What is it then, Pity? Fear?"

"Concern, Emma," he said flatly, "I'm worried about you."

"Why? I'm finally embracing 'the power inside me' and all that. Isn't that what you always wanted?"

"What do you think about now... while you're embracing your magic?" he asked.

"My mother, telling me she was a hero. To get me to destroy someone to keep her secret."

The air crackled again and sparks bounced across the road.

"That won't make you happy," he said.

"No, it will make me powerful. And _that_ will make me happy."

"Is that so? You sound very much like an old acquaintance of mine."

Emma shrugged, "maybe he was right."

"He wasn't."

"So what do you want me to do? Just go back to pretending everything is fine? To go tell my parents that it's ok. That I understand."

"No."

"So what is it you think I should do?" Her irritation was growing. He was being careful, she could hear it in her voice, see it in his posture. And it made her inexplicably angry.

"I think you should go talk to your son. Ask him how he feels about banishing his grandparents."

"He's just a kid, he wouldn't understand."

"He's a pretty bright lad, you might be surprised."

"If you're just going to stand there and tell me what I should be doing I don't know why you bother staying." Killian leaned back against the car again as she turned away from him.

"I've nowhere else to go," he muttered under his breath. If she heard him she said nothing.

* * *

"Give me a reason, pirate. as though I need another one," Ursula hissed.

Her tentacles twisted around Killian's torso, tightening around his chest and creeping up towards his throat. Killian gasped for breath but the pressure on his chest was forcing every last molecule of air from his lungs. His knees gave out before long but Ursula held him stationary. White spots were beginning to flash across his eyes and Killian began to wonder if it should be so funny that he seemed destined to suffocate on dry land... He looked for Emma but his vision darkened and swam with bursts of light that blocked out the world.

Suddenly a blast of magic threw the sea witch back and the tentacles fell loose. Killian dropped to his knees, gasping for breath, and just barely caught Emma's words over the roaring in his ears. "He's mine," she said venomously.

"Everyone needs a pet," Cruella commented as Ursula struggled to her feet again, glaring at Emma. "When she grows tired of him we'll let you flush him." Ursula smiled wickedly at Killian.

* * *

"It's been two days, love," Killian said wearily. "Your son is doubtless wondering where you are." They were in the drawing room of a manor on the outskirts of town that Killian was absolutely positive had not been there three days ago.

"I texted him," Emma said, not even glancing at where Killian sat slumped and exhausted against the wall. He hadn't slept in two days. The presence of three queens of darkness in the house, one of whom was absolutely determined to kill him while Emma slept, made sleeping quite impossible. David texted him constantly for the first few hours after Emma fled, and multiple times an hour after that. She'd threatened to 'poof' Killian back to town if he told David anything useful, but apparently she grew sick of the buzzing sound. It had been 12 hours before Emma blew up his phone with a fireball that nearly took his other hand.

"Texting is not the same," he told her.

"We'll have plenty of time once Regina and his grandparents are out of this town."

"We got back in," Ursula said. "They might too. Perhaps it would be best to just finish them."

There was a flicker of anger in Emma's eye. It was just about the only emotion she showed these days, but it gave him a fleeting hope that she wasn't entirely gone.

* * *

"You're being melodramatic, Hook"

"Care to explain?"

"This isn't as big of a deal as you're acting like. It's not like I'm killing anyone."

"Is that where the line is today?"

The hairs on Killian's arms stood on end as Emma's anger flared, the lights in the room flickering.

"Killian," she said softly, "come on... it's not like I'm joining their little queens of darkness club. I just need to get Henry out of my parents reach. Then everything will be back to normal."

"It's not that simple. You know that."

"It should be. He's _my_ _son."_

_"_Your son that you haven't spoken to in 3 days."

"I'm not ready to face Regina yet."

"You'll have to kill her."

"I'm not killing anyone," Emma spat.

"She won't let Henry go while she lives," Killian warned.

"Well that would be her choice then, wouldn't it?"

Killian saw Maleficent smile, and it sent a shiver to his core.

* * *

"You can leave of your own accord, or I can make you leave," Emma spat at her parents. Henry had run to Emma when she first arrived but now he froze, frightened by the chill in her voice.

"Emma?" Charming asked, "where have you been, we've been so wor-"

"Maleficent has been teaching me to expand my magic. I can make you leave, and I will."

"Emma, we're so sorry-"

"Of course you're sorry now. You will be more sorry if you don't leave."

Killian hung back, unsure of how this was going to progress.

"Sweetheart-"

"Don't call me sweetheart," Emma spat at her mother. Killian felt the familiar prickle of her magic on his skin and instinctively moved towards Henry.

"We love you Emma, we just want you to come h-"

Emma's eyes flashed and she snapped, a wave of electricity shooting across the room towards her parents. Killian grabbed Henry, pushing him up against a wall, blocking the boy from the wave of Emma's power. Snow and Charming flew backwards and Killian felt stinging across his back.

As soon as it had started, it was over. Emma was staring at him and Henry in shocked horror. Then she was gone.

"MOM!" Henry cried, but she didn't return. The sky clouded over and somewhere out towards the outskirts of town there was the crashing of thunder for a split second before it was swallowed by the protection spell.

"Stay inside," Killian said quickly to the Charming's who were struggling to their feet. "Please, just stay here with Henry, I need to try something."

He hurried out of the apartment out into the street.

"MALEFICENT!" he cried. "Listen up you bat brained reptile. I can help her control it. Let me back in."

Suddenly he felt his skin prickle again and he was back in the manor house. The door to Emma's room was open but she was alone. Electric crackles of her power zapped around the room. He moved towards her, but she shrunk back hitting the wall with a thud as he entered the room.

"Stay back!"

"Swan, I'm not afraid of this. Please... let me help."

Emma shook her head and sank to the floor, burying her face into her arms and visibly trembling. Killian moved slowly forward trying not to startle her. "Emma," he said gently, "I'm going to sit next to you, ok? I promise, I won't touch you."

She nodded slightly and he slowly seated himself against the wall next to her.

"They're ok, Emma."

"I could have hurt Henry," she muttered.

"You didn't." Killian swallowed the lump in his throat and clenched fingers that desperately wanted to reach out to her.

When she finally looked up her eyes were cold as ice. "I just need more time. More practice."

* * *

Emma spent the rest of the evening in a frenzy of magical activity, desperately trying to learn how to control this new type of magic. Maleficent looked downright giddy though Emma never seemed to notice that. By that night Killian's body determined that it did not matter that he was in a house with three witches. He hadn't slept at all for three days and his head nodded as he inadvertently napped through parts of the night.

Emma had insisted on two beds in the room, but he feared sleep too much to touch his. Instead he leaned against a wall next to the window. He stood up occasionally, shaking his head and pacing for a while to keep himself awake, but soon he'd fall into half-asleep daze again.

He shot awake, though, when he heard a light whimper sometime late into the night. Emma hadn't been sleeping well for days either, nightmares found her several times each night and as he watched she whimpered and mumbled nonsense until finally falling back to sleep. This night it woke her though and her eyes snapped open, wide and terrified.

"You alright, love?" he asked cautiously.

"No," she said groggily.

Killian moved to the side of the bed, sitting down next to her. He didn't move closer until she reached for his hand.

"It'll be over soon," she whispered.

"What will?" he asked. Now that she had touched his hand he took it as permission to lean closer and brush sleep mussed hair from her face.

"This, everything. I know you're worried about me Killian. But once I fix this... it will be alright again."

"You really believe that, don't you?" he sighed.

"I don't have any other choice, Killian." He started slightly at his given name, she hadn't used it in three days.

"Do you still trust me, Emma?" he asked.

She nodded hesitantly.

"Then believe me when I tell you this will never be over. Not unless you end it."

"I'm trying-"

"No Emma, you're not. You're burying every single good feeling you have under a layer of anger and fear. Because if they're buried they can't hurt you. You're focusing everything you have on becoming stronger because you think it will protect you from pain. It won't, Emma."

"I'm just trying to protect Henry."

"You're trying to protect yourself. Henry's just an excuse. You're a hero, Swan, and I know you can feel how wrong this is."

"I'm doing what I have to do. Just like you always have. It's not wrong to do what you h-"

"Emma Swan please look at me," she did and Killian squeezed her hand. "Do you know how I got my ship back?"

Emma shook her head.

"I made the man that stole it walk the plank in shark infested waters. Even though he had information about Ariel's missing prince. He was willing to help her save him in exchange for my ship. But I still harbored a seed of hope that with my ship... perhaps I could travel the realms again. I thought it was what I had to do, if I'd any hope of getting you back one day. It wasn't. It was the easy way and it was wrong. I murdered Ursula's brother. Because I thought it was what I had to do. To run a tight ship, to destroy the Dark One. It wasn't. It was easy. I was proud, and angry and I killed a man. It was wrong. You can keep trying to explain things away, but it will never make you happy."

"I can't go back," Emma whispered, tears beginning to leak from her eyes.

"Oh Emma." He kissed her gently and wiped the tears away with his thumb. "Emma, my love, you can always go back." More tears leaked from her eyes and he kissed each one away. "I may not always make the right choice," he whispered, "but I've become something of an expert on going back after making the wrong one."

"How do you do it?" she asked.

"You just do, love. You just turn the wheel and you go back."

She bit her lip and nodded. Pulling him closer she buried her face into his shoulder. He could still feel her trembling so he just held her tighter. There was a moment of darkness and then he was looking at familiar surroundings. They were in the Charming's living room.

"Emma?" Snow asked.

Despite the late hour Snow and Charming were still up, nursing mugs of something hot and looking like they hadn't had much more sleep than Killian. Snow barreled across the living room, tackling her daughter in a tight hug. "Emma. Are you ok? I'm so sorry, we're so sorry."

Emma nodded and Charming hugged her too, cradling the back of her head and blinking back tears. Emma didn't even try to hide hers.

"I'm sorry too," she whimpered, "I'm so sorry."

"Shhh," Charming murmured, tightening his hold. "It's alright, we're all alright."

Charming finally let go of his daughter and hurried to the kitchen to steep more tea. While he did so, Emma sank wearily onto the couch with Killian, clinging to his hand tightly. By the time he returned with their mugs Killian was fast asleep on the couch, her hand still grasped in his.

Charming handed Emma her mug and set the unnecessary one down on the table.

"Emma-" Charming started, but Emma just shook her head. "I don't want to talk about it. You messed up. You lied to me and I wish you hadn't. But I messed up too. I expected you to be perfect and when you weren't I..."

"No more lies," Charming interrupted. "We need to trust you Emma. You're not a little girl anymore. Sometimes we... forget."

Emma nodded, "No more lies... Where's Henry?"

"At Regina's, we can call him if you want."

"No, let him sleep... I'll text him to call me when he wakes up."

Snow nodded and put down her now empty mug and glancing at Killian. "Is he ok," Snow asked, "he looks...tired."

In fact he looked well beyond tired. He was utterly dead to the world. In fact Emma was quite certain she could bang a frying pan on the table in front of him and he probably wouldn't wake.

"He hasn't slept since I left," she admitted guiltily.

"At all?" Charming wondered.

"I don't think so. If he'd gone to sleep... Ursula probably would have killed him while I slept."

"What he needs is a good sleeping curse," Snow teased. "Very restful."

Charming chuckled and stood, taking Snow's hand and pulling her up with him. "And I think you joking about sleeping curses is a sign that it's time for some sleep ourselves!"

"Do you want to wake him," Snow asked, "that doesn't look very comfortable."

Emma smiled. "I'm probably going to poof us both up to my bedroom as soon as you leave."

Charming's jaw dropped and Emma smiled. "No more lies?" she offered with a yawn.

"Ok but..." Charming stammered, "selective sharing is still on the table right because there are some thing I just don't-"

Emma rolled her eyes, "Does he look like he's in a fit state for pillaging and plundering?" Emma teased, and David mouthed 'plundering' in silent alarm. "Good night, Dad."

They both kissed Emma on the cheek, (though Charming gave the pirate a suspicious look - as though he might jump up the moment he left the room to ravage his daughter.) They checked on Neal briefly and then disappeared into their own room.

She glanced over at Killian who, despite David's fears did _not _jump to his feet the moment the left. Closing her eyes she thought of her bedroom and a moment later she was there. Killian started awake in alarm, which admittedly, rather defeated the purpose of using magic to move them anyway...

"Sorry- I just didn't want to wake you."

He looked at her groggily for a moment and smiled. "Did you just magic me into your bedroom, lass?"

Emma shoved his shoulder jokingly but he grabbed her arm and pulled her down next to him, she fell into his shoulder with a little cry of alarm. She curled into him, burying her head into his chest. His arm wrapped around her, fingers brushing through her hair gently.

"I'm sorry," she said, voice slightly muffled by his shirt.

"Everything's all right now," he murmured, yawning again.

"No, I could have killed my family... and the way I treated you. Ursula tried to kill you! She could have while I was sleeping or not paying attention. And it would have been my fault. Because I had to go off the deep end."

"I don't know what 'the deep end' means, love, but I'm going to make an inference." She pulled away to look up at him and he pressed his lips to her forehead. "The first time I... 'went off the deep end' I burned up a sail that was still attached to my ship, honestly, never a good idea; then preceded to spend a few years exploring every variation of bad form I could think of. The next time I went off the deep end I took a weapon as a name and spent a couple hundred years in a give-no-quarter quest to commit murder. And the last time I went off the deep end I nearly got Ariel's Prince killed trying to convince myself that nothing had changed and love was a myth." He pulled away again and met her eyes. "Don't do this love, don't carry this on your shoulders. Accept that you made a mistake and move on."

"Is that what you've done, Killian?" Emma asked, an eyebrow raised.

He chuckled half-heartedly. "You're too perceptive for your own good, love," he murmured dropping his gaze to her lips. He leaned forward and kissed her lightly. "I've more weight to shed," he admitted quietly.

"Nah, you're officially a hero now."

"And how do you reason that?"

"You saved the Princess, that makes you the hero."

"Is that how it works, Princess?"

Emma nodded, "Exactly how it works, in fact."

"And what reward does the hero get for saving the Princess?" he asked, a smile in his voice.

"Usually a kiss."

Killian laughed and kissed her again. "Then it seems I've already stolen my reward."

"Well..." Emma said contemplatively, "that's to be expected, I suppose."

"Ah... the pirate thing," he replied. Killian tightened his grip around her waist and sighed contentedly. "You'll just have to come up with another reward then, princess. But for now... do me a favor lass?"

"Hmm?"

"Is that your father looking in through the window?"

Emma jumped, turning towards the window which was completely empty. "No... what the hell, Killian?"

Killian shook his head and Emma laid back down. " I think I need to sleep..." he said.

"Good night, Killian."

He pressed a kiss to the back of her neck and was asleep in moments.

* * *

**Yes hallucinations are a real symptom of sleep deprivation... though to be fair even i'm not sure if Charming at the window was a hallucination or not :P**

**Oh and thanks to my guest reviewer Jessica, since I can't PM you! I'm glad you like it :) **

**I****cecube1 your review was so on point that I'm going to respond to it here in case anyone missed that point! (I swear you're reading my mind.) I agree! I think Killian is in the perfect position to be massively underestimated by the QoD. They think he'll be ready to slide back and take Emma with him, but after everything Killian has been through I think he'll be the absolute last one that will want to see Emma follow in his footsteps. **


	54. Not This Time

_**I know I'm late to the game on this one, but several people on tumblr asked me to continue my 100 word drabble on how Emma would discover it wasn't really Killian. **_

_**This is partly cocohook38's fault because they drew an epically angsty fan art of Killian tied up in Rumple's basement (not in the good way :P - find it on my tumblr: gusenitsagirl ; under the angst tag). Rumple's way of ensuring Killian didn't walk in while he was impersonating him... Given that premise obviously it will get a little violent.  
**_

* * *

"I come bearing coffee!"

"My hero," Emma responded, glancing up from her paperwork with a grin. Killian placed the cup on her desk and she wrapped her fingers around it savoring the warmth. She took a small sip and grimaced. "How much sugar did you dump in this, Killian?"

"Not to your taste?" he asked.

"It's like hummingbird nectar."

"I thought you might like to try something... different." His eyebrows furrowed.

"Maybe just stick with black next time," she said, setting the cup down with a smile. His face remained troubled and Emma stood, moving around the desk that separated them. "Killian what's wrong?"

"I'm fine, love. Relax. You fret too much."

Emma raised her eyebrows_. _"I'm just worried about you," she told him gently. "Killian I know I told you that you can tell me about Ursula on your own time... but just...don't shut me out entirely. One corner of his lip raised slightly in a flicker of a chuckle.

"You don't want to know that story, love. I've a different sort of reputation to uphold these days."

"Your past doesn't define you, Killian. Whatever you've done... that's not who you are anymore. What matters is what you do now."

"And what... makes you so sure, dear, that I'm not still that man?" She raised her hand to cup his cheek and he smiled flatly at her.

"I trust you," she said with a small smile, moving forward to kiss him lightly.

He broke the kiss quickly then leaned in to kiss her forehead. "I have to go, love. Errands to run."

Emma cocked her head to one side and he was already halfway out the door when she called out to him. "What about movie night, you said you could come."

"Indeed, and I still can. I'll be there, I have some things to deal with first."

* * *

The door slammed open violently and Killian glanced up, blinking into the light. It was him again, Hook. Cold eyes and lips drawn into a tight venomous line.

"You lied to me, pirate."

It wasn't Hook, this wasn't some time traveling adventure. Hook crossed the room in a few steps and by the time he knelt in front of Killian his features had melted into those of Rumpelstiltskin.

"Of course I bloody lied to you," Killian murmured groggily.

"That was unwise." The cane appeared out of nowhere and struck Killian hard on the cheekbone, adding another flash of color to the Crocodile's growing collection. Killian lunged forward as far as the ropes would allow, smirking to himself when Gold flinched away.

"A coward as always," Killian growled, "do you really fear a man in chains?"

The cane fell again and lights exploded behind Killian's eyes. Blood dripped down into his eyes and he tried to shake his head to clear it. A mistake it turned out, as it simply shot pain down through his neck and back.

"Tell me what I need to know about tonight. It seems I have to spend even more time with Miss Swan if I want to keep them from noticing your absence."

"What about tonight?"

"Any plans?"

"No."

"Wrong answer." The ropes began to tighten around Killian's chest. "Tell me."

"Fine," Killian coughed, "Fine stop, please..."

"Make me."

"Eight, it's at eight. Henry picked out the film. Something about this worlds version of my tale."

"And-" The ropes tightened further and Gold leaned close, "What else?"

"I always bring wine."

"Wine... You expect me to believe that?"

"Believe what you like, but I actually do have some sense of decorum. It's rude to show up empty handed."

"If you're lying to me again-"

"Torture, pain and death. I think we've just about covered that."

"Perhaps you should be more concerned with what I'll do to her. My hook works just as well as yours and I don't need an enchantment to rip out her heart. You'd better hope she believes I'm you."

"Or what," Killian growled, "Good luck staying hidden if you harm her."

"Perhaps I don't need to be hidden for much longer." The dark one grinned evilly and black smoke filled the room. Killian was once again looking at his own face, warped and twisted by hatred.

"Don't touch her, Crocodile. CROCODILE!"

The Dark One was already gone.

* * *

Gold knocked at the Charming's door at 7:45 PM just to be safe, and Emma opened the door almost immediately.

"There you are!"

"Aye?"

"What happened? You didn't pick up your phone." Not for lack of trying, in fact... Killian had smashed the thing with his hook before Gold had managed to take it from him. It hadn't occurred to him to fix it with magic, why bother. Certainly the pirate couldn't be that reliant on modern technology? _Another mistake, perhaps._ Gold mused.

"Ah... apologies, I must have lost track of time."

"Killian... you're never late. Is everything-"

"Fine, love. Here, as per usual." He handed her the bottle of wine and he took it with a confused look.

"What's this for?"

"An apology for my tardiness, of course. What did I miss?"

"Just Henry eating enough popcorn that I swear I can feel Regina glaring at me from here. We waited to start the movie. Wouldn't want for you to miss a single moment of that perm."

They settled on the couch and Henry started the movie. It was more of a challenge than Gold expected, spending time with Emma and her family. Emma leaned her head on his shoulder and muttered commentary into his ear and he did his best to react appropriately, though he couldn't resist a chuckle at "blast good form!"

"I told you that you should give the permed look a shot," Emma whispered with a smile.

He smiled back, "Aye, that you did."

Emma sat up abruptly."It just occurred to me, I don't have my phone. I think the savior is always supposed to be on call so..."

"I have mine," Charming said helpfully, "want me to call it for you?"

"No, I left it in the car... Or maybe at Granny's. Give me a minute, I'll be right back."

"Want us to stop the movie?" Henry asked.

"No, no I've seen it. Don't worry about it."

Emma slipped out of the apartment, taking a deep breath to calm her nerves. Then she ran, she raced down the street to Granny's and up the stairs to Killian's apartment. In a few minutes her lock picks had granted her access to his rooms.

She looked around cautiously. Everything was neat and tidy, just as she suspected it would be. Opening the closet she pulled out one of his tunics and hurried down the stairs. With butterflies in her stomach she made her way back to her parents apartment and stopped outside. She whispered the words to a locator spell and the tunic began to glow.

It tugged at her insistently… away from the apartment. Away from the man wearing Killian's face.

_Not again. _

_Not this time._

The tunic continually pulled at her, desperate to find it's target. She shoved it into the trunk of her car and hurried back up the stairs. Maybe he left, maybe he went looking for her?

She pushed open the door to the apartment and Killian was still sitting just where she left him.

"I have to go take care of something at the station," she announced.

Charming looked up at her in surprise, "what's wrong?" he asked and Henry paused the movie again.

"Nothing big. Some of the lost boys causing trouble again. They broke into the florists shop and pulled the heads off a bunch of flowers. I swear they just do it to make me fill out the paperwork. Anyway, I'll be back soon."

"Need some assistance, _love_?" Killian asked and Emma did her best not to shudder at the word.

"And let you miss more of the movie? No way, you're not getting out of it that easily!"

When she got back to her car, she released the glowing tunic, grabbing it as it shot out of the trunk. She started the car and pulled away from the apartment, following the direction the tunic was straining towards. It led her far outside of town until a large house became visible in the distance. She stopped the car, not wanting to announce herself quite so obviously.

Stepping out of the car, she let the locator spell lead her towards the manner on foot, like an eager dog tugging at its leash. With a few muttered words she stripped the tunic of its spell. As useful as it was, a glowing tunic flying across the yard was begging to get some attention. Sneaking around the back she found precisely what she was looking for. Steps leading down to a back door of a basement or cellar of some kind. What better place to stash a pirate while you parade around town using his identity?

She pulled out her picks and set to work on the lock, teasing the tumblers gently until they finally rolled into place. With her gun raised and using her phone as a flashlight she stepped into the dimly lit cellar. The room was dank and smelled of mildew and copper and when she saw the hunched form in the corner she nearly dropped her phone.

"Killian?" Emma hurried over to him and knelt brushing blood-dampened hair away from his face. He leaned into her palm for an instant before pulling away.

"Sod off, Crocodile," came his tired voice, "I'm not playing your games."

"Killian, it's me. It's Emma." She used the tunic she had spelled to wipe the blood from his face. Even so, only one eye opened to see her.

"Sure, love. What do you want to know this time? I've already told you everything. She hates rum, loves her coffee sweet, and hates onion rings. She calls Henry kid because she thinks he's immature for his age and every kiss has to be on her initiative, so don't even try it. Anything else?"

"Oh God, Killian, what did he do-"

"It won't work Crocodile, you're wasting your bloody time."

"I'm not..." She looked around rapidly and found a knife in the corner. She tried not to think about why it was already coated in blood as she came back over to him. Killian flinched away but his one open eye flashed in anger.

"You might as well, Crocodile. I won't help you-"

"I'm not him, Killian." She began to cut through the bindings that held him place. The instant he was free he lunged forward, twisting and slamming her into the wall. Somehow the knife was in his hand now and he pressed it tight to her throat.

"I know this particular blade won't kill you, demon, but it will bloody well hurt."

"You told me I couldn't handle it," Emma gasped out quickly as the blade began to bite into her throat. The pressure lessened but the blade did not move.

"It's a trick," Killian muttered to himself.

"It's not, Killian. Please, listen to me. In the echo cave, you told me you didn't think you could move on... until you met me. You told me that you would win my heart without trickery. And you did. I kissed you before I was even born, you tasted like rum. You always used to taste like rum when I kissed you, until our first date. That time you tasted like white wine and black coffee. I wouldn't drink that night because I was afraid of the Snow Queen interrupting. Please, Killian... it's me, put down the knife."

Killian watched her carefully for a moment and then leaned forward, pressing his lips to hers experimentally. With a gasp he dropped the blade and sagged, Emma reaching out to catch him as he fell. "Come on, let's get you to the hospital."

"Not so fast, dearie." Emma turned and Rumpelstiltskin was watching them from the doorway. "Did you really think you could cut _my_ captive free and I wouldn't notice? For a moment there I really thought that the pirate was going to destroy the savior for me. That would have been a pretty piece of irony."

"What do you want Gold?"

"The ending I deserve."

"The ending you threw away," Killian muttered. He straightened to face the Dark One but his arm stayed tight around Emma for support. She could feel his muscles trembling. _How much blood has he lost down here?_

"The author-"

"Sod the author," Killian growled. "You had your true love. She loved you more than anything. She trusted you, was sure, absolutely certain of you to the very fiber of her being. And you betrayed her. Over and over again. Do you think she'll take you back with open arms when she realizes what you've done?"

"She won't know. She'll never know. You, my old friend, are going to be murdered quite tragically by the sea witch you betrayed and the savior... well it's a dangerous line of work being the savior. How many times can one be expected to fight a dragon and live to tell of it?"

"You hear that Belle? You'll never know," Killian called, and Emma glanced over at him, wondering if he'd cracked down here in the dark.

Gold's eyes widened and he looked around. Killian held up Emma's phone, pilfered from her back pocket when the Dark One first appeared. Pressing a button he turned on the speaker phone.

"Rumple, please stop this." Belle's voice came out weak and shaky but undeniable from the device.

"B... Belle?"

"So what will you do now Rumple? Kill my friends and wipe my memory. Is that what true love is to you?"

"Belle, you don't understand-"

"Of course I don't understand. It's madness. Let them go."

"I can't-"

"You swore to your son.. and to me that you were going to be a better man. He loved her. Neal loved her and you're going to murder her? The mother of your grandson. How could you..." Her voice faded and a light sob came over the line.

"Belle please don't cry... Please-"

"Then let them go, Rumpelstiltskin. Change your own ending, and let them go. Because if you hurt them... then I'll know for sure that I was wrong. All along."

The Dark One was silent for a moment then suddenly Emma blinked and found herself on the floor of the library. She crawled over to Killian and helped him to sit up.

"No," Belle was still saying into the phone, "No, Rumple not like- Hello?"

"What did he say," Will asked, moving to wrap an arm around Belle's waist.

"He said he was going to fix this...Will, you have to get out of here."

"To bloody where?" Will commented, "Wonderland? No thank you, I'm quite content right here." His voice dropped to a low whisper and Emma turned her attention back to Killian to give them some privacy.

"He'll try again Emma, you have to be ready."

"We'll be ready."

His fingers drifted to her neck where a shallow cut dripped scarlet onto her blouse. His jaw clenched and his eyes were too bright.

"I'm fine, Killian. You didn't hurt me." He pulled his hand away, her blood bright on his fingers.

"I would have killed you." He whispered, voice shaking. "In the hope of injuring him I would have ended you."

"You didn't."

"I could have. God, Swan I could have. This is why..."

Emma's fingers darted to his face to make him look at her, "Why what?"

"Why villains don't get happy endings."

"You're not a villain, Killian."

"Does a hero slash a man's throat simply to cause him pain?"

"He tortured you Killian, tied you up in a basement. I might have shot him myself if I thought it would help."

A smile flickered across Killian's face ever so briefly at the fire in her eyes. "I still want to kill him, love. I want to jam the blade in his heart and end him, finally. Completely. End him."

"And take his curse? Is that your happy ending Killian, your name on that blade?"

"What's the alternative, Swan? Let him destroy you? I _can_'t let that happen."

"He won't win Killian," Emma said confidently brushing her fingers through his hair.

"How can you know that?"

"Because he _is _a villain. And villains don't win." She kissed him softly and then helped him to his feet. She put both hands on his shoulders and a moment later they were inside his rooms at Granny's.

"You have been practicing," he commented. She nodded and helped him to the bed. He sank down gratefully as Emma disappeared into the bathroom. He heard the water running and pulled himself to his feet, stumbling towards the bathroom. He leaned against the doorway, watching as Emma damped towels in the sink.

"I think it's going to take more than that, love."

She glanced over at him in surprise, about to chastise him for getting up, but she quickly realized that he was right. He leaned over and turned on the water of the shower nearly tumbling over as he did so. He was pale, and probably lightheaded from the blood loss.

"I should go get Dr. Whale." Emma offered.

"I bloody hate infirmaries."

"Killian-"

"I've no energy to seduce you tonight, love. I just... I just want the smell of blood gone."

She helped him pull off his boots and jacket and then before she could protest he stepped into the shower clothes and all. The stream of water turned red and Killian braced himself against the wall, wincing as the cool water danced over his injuries.

He sagged and Emma jumped forward, catching him as he fell and drenching herself in the process. The water felt freezing on her skin and she shivered.

"Killian," she asked nervously, stumbling slightly herself under his weight. "Killian? Damn it Killian I am not letting you drown in a shower. Do you have any idea how absurd that would be?"

"Next time don't stand on ceremony," he mumbled groggily, sounding half drunk with the blood loss. Still he managed to right himself again after a moment.

"You just ruined one of my favorite pairs of boots, pirate," Emma told him lightly, kicking them off and tossing them out of the shower before adjusting the temperature of the water slightly. Hot water might start the bleeding again but at least she could keep them both from getting hypothermia. She reached for a bar of soap and righted herself.

"This might hurt. Hold on to my shoulders. Do not fall over again." He nodded and she began to work the soap into a lather, gentle fingers lightly cleaning the visible lacerations. He winced when she touched a particularly nasty injury on his temple.

"Better than rum," she muttered.

"Or seawater," he agreed.

"Killian I need to-" She flushed slightly.

"Are you asking my permission to undress me, love?"

Emma glared at him and with an irritated wave of her fingers his tunic vanished.

"That's a new one," he muttered under his breath.

Emma chuckled self-consciously, "I wasn't sure it would work."

"Well... now that we know..."

"Shut up Killian, or are you trying to make me think you lured me here under false pretenses?"

"Never, darling but-" his statement was cut off with a hiss of pain as Emma continued her work cleaning his cuts. He cursed colorfully and glared down at her. "You're enjoying this aren't you?"

Emma looked up at him with a half smile and he groaned. "Pretenses be damned," he grumbled. "You're lucky I can hardly stand."

Emma smiled and shut off the water. "You're all talk, pirate," she teased, "come on lets get you dried off. How attached are you to those pants?"

"Bloody Hell."

Emma rolled her eyes, "I'm going to try something." She closed her eyes for a few moments imaging her favorite pajamas. When she opened her eyes she let out a bark of laughter, because Killian was sitting on the bed, mouth agape looking down at himself in her plaid pajamas.

"Swan-" he grumbled then shrugged laying back on the bed. "I've no energy to protest the indignity."

She changed into her own pajamas and sat down, curling up next to him with a contented sigh. She dropped her head onto his shoulder and kissed his cheek lightly. "I'm glad you're back."

"So what was it?"

"Hmmm?"

"What tipped you off? Was it the coffee? The french fries?"

"He liked peter pan... and he kissed like a brick wall."

Killian stiffened, "He kissed you?"

"I suppose you could call it that... But I know how _you_ kiss."

* * *

_**I tried to finish this in such a way that it could fit in between the episodes, in a sense, leading up to Killian's epic declaration in the last episode. **__**... But it's me. So you know it usually ends in fluff. Usually. (she said threateningly) And the fluff kind of took on a life of its own :P these things happen.  
**_


	55. Darkness Rising

**I don't know what just happened. Apparently I'm in a dark mood today. _Beware all ye who enter here. Darkness and angst awaits._**

* * *

It was like the most horrible nightmare he could conceive of. He was here _again_, tied to the mast of his ship. Because the Crocodile always was a demon. He knew it would be worse ... like this. The dark one's dagger was frozen in mid air, the gleaming point inches from Emma's chest, her hands raised in a magical barrier as she tried to protect herself.

Magical dagger or not, the blade was sharp.

He wanted to cry out , but fear of distracting her kept him silent, struggling against the ropes that held him in place. _Just like before. _ How could he have been so stupid to think he could have this? He couldn't. He didn't deserve it. And now she was going to die for his idiocy.

"Did you really think you could defeat me, dearie," the crocodile was keening. "I've been doing magic for hundreds of years. You're still a child."

"Then why haven't you killed me yet." Emma snarled.

"I know... it's not nice to play with one's food, but I'm feeling a touch nostalgic. Come closer, captain, get a good view." The ropes fell loose and Killian bolted forward only to be frozen in place again a few scarce feet from her side.

"Why are you doing this, Crocodile. You could have had everything you wanted. You just had to choose it, choose her."

"I need both, pirate... she should never have asked me to choose."

"Take me instead. You've always wanted me dead, fine. Come and claim your prize. Leave Emma be."

"He doesn't think you can do it savior," the Dark One hissed. "How does that make you feel?" The knife inched closer to her and Killian fought harder against the invisible bindings to no avail. "I will kill you pirate, never fear. As soon as I'm done with the savior."

Emma's eyes narrowed and the light around her brightened. For a moment Killian saw fear in the Dark One's eyes and the blade started to move away.

"That's my lass," Killian said, head buzzing with relief. "You can defeat him." The blade was pressed farther and farther away and the Crocodile's smirk fell. Suddenly the blade turned and now it was inching towards the Dark One.

A brand new panic seized Killian's mind. "Emma?"

"You're time is up, Crocodile," Emma mocked.

"Emma, not like this. You don't want your name on that blade."

"Small price to pay, remember. He will not hurt anyone else this way."

"Emma-"

"He couldn't control it, he is weak. I can control it, Killian."

"It's not like that Emma, it gets in your head. Listen to me, I knew Rumpelstiltskin before he was the dark one. He was a coward but he was no monster."

"This is the only way that I can be sure he'll never touch my son."

"I won't," Rumpelstiltskin whimpered, "he's my grandson. I would never harm him."

"And Killian?"

"He'll be safe from me too, Emma please..."

"I don't believe you." The dagger flew forward and the Dark One fell. Blood stained the deck of his ship before Crocodile finally vanished in a puff of smoke. He might never have been there, but for the stains on the wood. The blade clattered to the ground and Killian felt the invisible bindings disappear. He stepped toward Emma but her eyes were fixed on the dagger. She knelt and picked it up, the new letters written clearly on it's side.

_Emma_.

"Emma?"

"That's what it says," she teased, looking the blade over carefully without looking at him.

"We'll find a way to fix this-"

"No need. No one else can be trusted with this power. Now it's mine. Now it can never hurt me."

"Emma, please look at me," she did so, breaking her observation of the dagger to glance up at him. His heart clenched. It wasn't like the crocodile. It was infinitely more beautiful, more terrible. Her skin glistened, a hard shell that shone like the most precious stone he'd ever seen.

"What?" she asked flippantly. "Tell me I don't have his complexion now?"

He shook his head raising his fingers and rubbing his thumb across her cheek.

_Beautiful, and cold, and hard._

He leaned forward and kissed her softly. She kissed him back briefly and then pulled away. "We should get back to town, I believe I have a witch or two to deal with."

"Emma..."

"You're freaking out Killian, stop freaking out. This is perfect. Now I have the power. No one can hurt me now."

"Take a moment. You just killed a man, Emma. He was a coward and a villain but-"

"He was the dark one," she retorted, "and he was trying to kill me. Besides, it's not like you haven't killed people before."

"We have to tell Belle-"

"Later."

"Emma, lass you know I was no friend to the crocodile but... she loved him. She deserves to know."

"Fine, You go tell her, I'll deal with the crisis. As usual."

"What will you do to them?"

"I will destroy them. They're villains, Killian. It's what they deserve."

"And what about what your mother told you-"

"Don't talk to me about her," Emma snapped.

"Emma listen to yourself. You're... love, you've gone cold."

"You're overreacting Killian. Now go tell Belle her lying husband won't be bothering her again." Emma vanished in a gust of smoke and Killian deflated.

_The king is dead...long live the king._


	56. Stage 2 (1 of 2?)

_**This is going to be another one of those (probably) two part ones that absolutely breaks your heart for a while. (Sorry. I'm in such a mood lately.) But honestly if you've gotten this far you probably know that I'll make it worth it in the end. **_

_**I was thinking about what Rumple and his sneaky pirate stalking could be up to. And this is what happened: **_

* * *

Killian hit the Emma button over and over as he searched the woods. He'd made his way back to the point at which they parted directions long ago but there was no sign of Emma, Regina or Henry.

"_Swan_?" he asked her answering machine in frustration. "_Swan please answer. I'm following what I suppose to be your trail but I'm no woodsman. Did you find the lad? I'll keep searching but... if you've found him please call me back_-" The phone buzzed in his ear and Killian jumped and glanced at the screen. _Battery Warning _"_Bloody hell, better do it fast, Swan. I don't know what 'battery warning' means exactly but I'll warrant it's bad._"

He hung up and continued to follow the occasional boot prints in the damp earth, hoping he was following a relevant trail. After some time he found himself in a small clearing at the edge of a cliff. The earth was trampled as though a group had gathered here. Glancing at the edge he saw scuff marks going right over the edge. He could smell something metallic on the air, like the rusted hooks he replaced in his rigging when water had partly corroded them away. He knew the smell well. Blood, different from the blood of an open wound. This was the smell of recent death not the old rotting smell of decomposition...

"SWAN!" he cried, barely daring to look over the edge. Dark fantasies crept into his mind of her body, broken and bleeding at the bottom, golden hair and the deep red of congealed blood... his stomach clenched in knots and he was temporarily paralyzed with horror. Taking a deep breath he crept to the edge of the cliff peering down to the rocks below. Below was a deep red stain in the earth. Someone had lain here, dead or dying... but no more.

"Too late once more, pirate," came a gleeful voice behind him.

Killian spun and Rumpelstiltskin stood mere feet away, practically bouncing up and down in his excitement.

"Where is Emma?" Killian growled, "What happened?"

"She's dead."

Killian's jaw dropped but his voice failed. "No," he croaked.

"Quite a long fall and then ... splat." Gold made a grotesque little motion with his hands to indicate what he meant and smiled.

"It can't be."

The Dark One vanished and then everything went dark. When Killian's vision cleared he stepped back hurriedly. The dark one had moved them to the bottom of the ravine to the edge of a bloody spot on the ground. The smell of blood hadn't made him feel physically ill since he was _much_ younger, but now it made his stomach churn uncomfortably.

"Oh indeed she is. Dead as a doornail. Dead as... well ... Have you ever noticed, Captain, that everyone who gets too close to you always seems to end up..." Gold shrugged and indicated the muddy bloody spot next to them. Killian threw himself forward, cutlass ringing free of its sheath. Gold disappeared and reappeared out of reach a few feet further away. "The evidence lays before your eyes," he taunted. "Your brother, my wife, even my son couldn't escape the curse that is knowing _you_... and now... now this."

A numb cloud descended on Killian's mind and he shook his head._ No. no. no. _Killian sank to his knees, dropping his cutlass to reach for a sparkle of silver in the mud. It was a necklace, a light colored swan on a dark background. For a moment he simply stared at it... unwilling or unable to accept what this tiny bit of silver was telling him. He rubbed it gently with his fingers, cleaning off the blood that now speckled its surface. "Where's Henry?" he finally managed, voice rough and cracking.

"Oh my grandson, he's just fine," The Dark One took out a small mirror and showed it to Killian. Within he could see Henry, or his back rather, being held in a tight embrace by Regina. Next to him sat Snow and Charming, their hands clenched together and on their faces a shocked disbelief that must mirror his own. Gold snapped the mirror closed nearly as quickly as he had opened it.

"Henry... your grandson," Killian spat out, "Your grandson has lost two parents... because of you. Because you wouldn't accept happiness when it was staring you in the face."

There was a flicker of something in Gold's eyes but it vanished almost instantly to be replaced by a smirk. "What now, Captain? Who's next? " Killian's fingers itched to grip his cutlass, but he couldn't seem to bring himself to do so. He'd never felt his years so acutely as he did in this moment, and he simply wanted to sink to the ground and let himself rest... finally _finally_ rest.

Rumpelstiltskin cocked his head to one side as Killian deflated. "I could kill you right now," he mused. Killian said nothing and the Crocodile grinned. "The _survivor_, the one and only Captain Hook... I could rip out your heart and crush it to dust and you wouldn't even scream would you?"

"What are you waiting for?" Killian muttered and the Dark One giggled.

"I learned something... all those years ago. After I crushed Milah's heart." Killian stiffened but didn't stand, clenching his fingers tighter around the silver charm he held. "Just think, how much exquisite suffering you could have been spared if I hadn't stayed my hand all those many years ago. You can't help but push on. You can't help but _survive. _How much more will you suffer before you finally break? Think of it like... an experiment. The longest experiment I've ever done. Perhaps I should send you back to Neverland, pirate? Never to age. To live stagnant in this moment once more. Just like the first time. Until you finally go mad. I'll suppose I'd have to visit you in a couple hundred years to put down the mad dog."

A spark of fire ignited in Killian's eyes and he glared up at the Crocodile. He put the charm carefully in his pocket and his fingers found his cutlass once more. Slowly he made his way to his feet and Killian smiled darkly when Gold stepped back a half step. In a sudden flurry of energy Killian thrust the blade forward into Gold's chest.

Gold's eyes widened as the blade passed through him and a moment later Killian removed the blade nearly as fast as he had deployed it. Gold doubled over for a moment before straightening with a giggle. "Well that was rather useless, wasn't it? Feel better?"

"Did it hurt?" Killian growled.

"Stung a bit."

"Then it wasn't useless. Was her death your doing, my old Crocodile?"

"Sadly not. Cruella and I had a difference of opinion of the fate of the author. She wanted the author dead, I didn't. And she had the author write her into a far away land. But... you know what." Gold looked contemplative for a moment, though Killian was not enough of a fool to think that this plan was not hatched long before this moment. "I can help you find her." Gold waved his hands and a map appeared in a plume of black smoke. On the map was a glowing silver point. "Follow that point, at the end you will find the witch you seek."

"Why would you help me find Cruella?"

"Fun." Gold said, with a shrug. "I'm immortal, dearie... things get boring from time to time. But also... I may not be the most pure-hearted of men, but Henry is the only thing I have left of my son."

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"I want you gone, pirate. I do not want my grandson to be the next on the ever growing list of collateral damage that permeates your existence."

"I won't abandon Henry."

Gold laughed. "What does he need _you _for? He's got plenty of family. You're a scourge, pirate. Everyone you love dies. I'll not let you take Henry away from me. Don't think of it as abandonment... think of it as protecting him."

With another wave of Gold's hands, Killian found himself on the deck of the Jolly Roger as it rocked gently against its mooring.

"I should make my farewells," Killian muttered, eyes tracing over the map distractedly.

Gold laughed. "They don't want to talk to you, pirate. They just lost their daughter, besides they gave you a phone didn't they. If they wanted to reach you they could." With that Gold vanished, leaving Killian alone on the deck of his ship with a map that would lead him far away. Habit drove him to the Captain's quarters. _Wasn't safe for a captain to break down in sight of the crew... _

He climbed down the ladder and shut the hatch behind him. Dropping the map onto his desk he sank into the chair, looking blankly at the pinpoint of light burning on its surface. He felt as though there was a pressure on his chest. He couldn't breathe, couldn't even _breathe_. He wanted to take his cutlass and destroy something _anything _and he wanted to sink into the floor and never move again. His eyes flicked to his flask on the edge of his desk.

_Is rum your solution to everything?_

"Doesn't hurt," he told the empty room, grabbing the flask and taking a long pull. The burning provided a moment of comfortable familiarity before he suddenly clenched his fingers and threw the flask at the wall.

_Bloody waste of it. _

_Shouldn't have left her, shouldn't have let her go alone. Shouldn't have- Shouldn't have-_

* * *

The mood at Granny's was sober. Regina kept hugging Henry and apologizing for letting Cruella into town in the first place. Emma hardly left Henry's side for moment. Her parents kept trying to ask her how she was, and finally Emma stalked out of the room in irritation leaning her head back against the wall to get away from them for a few minutes. She pulled out her phone and saw a message from Killian.

_"Swan?...Swan please answer. I'm following what I suppose to be your trail but I'm no woodsman. Did you find the lad? I'll keep searching but... if you've found him please call me back-"_ There was a pause and then his voice came back sounding irritated. _"Bloody hell, better do it fast, Swan. I don't know what 'battery warning' means exactly but I warrant it's bad."_ Emma smiled half-heartedly and dialed his number. Not soon enough, apparently. It went straight to voice mail.

"So I guess your phone died again," she said, "It's not magic, Killian, you have to... reload it. Henry is fine. If you get this come by Granny's. If not... I guess I'll do a locator spell or something later. I'll see you soon."

Killian didn't return and just when Emma was seriously considering a locator spell they had another, significantly less welcome guest. Gold appeared in the middle of Granny's with a melodramatic flourish of his hands.

"What the _hell _are you doing here," Emma shot out, placing herself squarely between Henry and the Dark One.

"Am I not allowed to check on my grandson, Savior?"

"You can stay the _hell _away from him-"

"Or what dearie? Will you kill me too? Brave thing you did there. Killing an unarmed woman."

Emma cocked her head to one side.

"Oh... oh no, no, did your parents not tell you that _either_?"

Emma glanced at her parents who were looking at her guiltily... _again._

_"_What are you talking about, Gold?"

"Cruella couldn't hurt Henry even if she wanted to," he said with a high-pitched giggle. "The savior killed a harmless, if slightly insane, woman. Nice work hero."

Emma glanced at her parents for confirmation and the look on their faces convinced her Gold was telling the truth.

"I didn't... I didn't know that- I was just trying to protect my son."

"Sure sure... it's nothing _I _wouldn't have done. Murder first, figure out all those pesky little details later."

"She thought her son was in danger," Mary Margaret spoke up. "She did nothing any parent wouldn't have done."

Gold giggled. "I suppose that's true, if you're the standard for what every parent would do. I mean... I thought that heroes were always supposed to find the better way and all that nonsense but... this is much more practical. I approve of the 'new' hero dearie. Oh... by the way, I think you left something in the woods."

"Where's Killian?"

"Well yes, I suppose you left him in the woods too didn't you. But actually I was referring to that lovely necklace my son gave you once upon a time. I gave it to the pirate to return to you. If he comes back that is."

"What did you do to him?" Emma asked, eyes glinting with fire.

"Nothing. Nothing at all. I just told him what you did."

"Where is he?"

"Last I saw he was preparing his ship to make sail. He's nearly out of sight by now."

Emma shook her head, "he wouldn't do that."

"Apparently he just wanted the novelty of having a hero," Gold shrugged. "You knew he would leave eventually... didn't you Miss Swan?"

Gold vanished and Emma blinked back the tears in her burning eyes. She glanced at Regina who nodded at her.

"Henry's fine," Snow affirmed softly, "Go Emma, I'm sure it's nothing. You can't trust Gold."

Emma gave Henry a quick hug and sprinted from Granny's towards the docks. As she drew close she saw an empty place at the docks where the Jolly had been just that morning. The Jolly was gone... barely a spec on the horizon now. The tears that had been burning her eyes a moment ago fell down her cheeks freely.

_After everything ... everything he'd said..._

Anger bloomed in her chest. _Liar_. He'd said she was his happy ending...and the first mistake and he was gone. _Hypocritical bastard. _She clenched her fists and tried to convince herself that she was only mad. Tried to ignore the crushing feeling in her chest that made her feel like she was being torn in two.

She turned her back on the horizon, but couldn't bring herself to walk away. She kept waiting for him to come back... to turn and come back to her. He always came back... He always came back.

"Killian" she whispered brokenly, "please don't do this to me... Please come back to me..."

But she couldn't see it anymore... The Jolly Roger was gone. Hook was gone. She took a step backward and then another. He'd abandoned her. He'd abandoned her and lied to her. He was no better than any of them. Then Neal and her parents and every foster parent that ever told her that this time it was going to last... Anger curled in her stomach mingling with the pain until it left her muscles burning and shaking with rage.

_How could he do this? _

_How _dare_ he do this?_

* * *

_**Do you hate me? I kind of hate me. But Rumple wanted to turn Emma's heart dark and this seemed to be begging to be written based on the crocodile creeper last week. I am of the opinion that what adam and eddy are getting at with Emma's going dark is not the act of Emma killing Cruella ... It's her increasing susceptibility to anger. Which we saw with her refusal to forgive her parents and also to a certain extent with Cruella (heroes are supposed to 'find the better way', right...) **_

_**Anyway if you still like me enough, leave me a review! :P **_


	57. Stage 2 (2 of 2)

It took hours before he dared come out of his cabin again. There was no crew of course; no gunner above deck to see the way his eyes burned and his muscles trembled. No inquisitive shipwright to hear the crashing of once precious artifacts as they shattered to pieces below. But a habit 200 years in the making to never _ever_ show them your weakness is not so easily broken.

When he finally emerged from below he clenched his jaw and set about the not insignificant number of tasks necessary before he'd be able to set sail, to follow that silver dot on the map to the ends of the earth, to wherever she tried to hide. Physical labor was a hollow relief. His body moved in with the muscle memory of years at sea, leaving his mind painfully free. Without his leave his mind wandered aimlessly, but always back to her. To the first time she'd kissed him in front of her parents, to that night outside Granny's when she finally decided to stay in Storybrooke. He'd insisted that she belonged here, with her family. She'd been so happy that night. Free easy smiles. She'd no idea that that decision would cost her her life in just a matter of months. Her story was supposed to end happily ever after. She was in _the book _now. The book wasn't supposed to be a tragedy.

_Oh, but it was. _

_His_ story was always going to be a tragedy.

He'd contaminated her, contaminated her story with his pain and his darkness until it simply had to end this way. How could he not have seen it before? He'd had a million warnings. Villains don't get happy endings. He'd been a drunken fool. Intoxicated by her light and her hope and... _her. _He'd let himself forget who he was. _What _he was. And now she was dead because of it. If he'd known, would he have had the strength to leave her? To save her?

Even now the thought made his insides churn in disgust. He might have at least tried. But she'd have looked up at him with her gorgeous eyes with the ocean in their depths... She'd have looked at him with that look that saw right through him. _I can't lose you too. _

He would have failed. But at least he could have gone with her. _Should have gone with her. _

So what now? Go back to the diner. Hug the lad, tell him that he'd never be alone. Begin yet another chapter of the tragedy... and wait for him to be taken too? He wouldn't make that mistake again. Couldn't go back to that diner and let Henry change his mind. He wasn't strong enough to deny that lad anything, not today. So he weighed anchor, and watched the town grow smaller and smaller and tried to imagine that his pain shrank away with its familiar shores.

The map was still below, and he'd yet to really sit down and chart a course. There would be time for that later. Now he simply knew that he had to get out of sight of that town before he lost his nerve and turned around. Storybrooke was barely a spec on the horizon now. He gripped the helm of the ship to steady himself as it finally disappeared. A persistent nausea ate away at his insides that he might have mistaken for sea sickness if it hadn't started the moment he realized that she-

He swallowed hard, cutting off the thought with a shake of his head.

_You can't help but survive _the crocodile's voice echoed in his mind. His eyes drifted over the open ocean. The surface was calm today. They say drowning is peaceful... after the panic. He wondered for a moment if he _would_ panic. Perhaps fear of death is for the young and the contented. For those who crave life.

Perhaps it would be a relief, to sink to the depths. To be with Liam again, with Milah. A sudden clenching of panic in his chest accompanied the realization that he would never know for sure what they'd done with Swan's... with her... body. They'd bury her in the cold earth. He'd never get one last kiss. Never again hold her, never feel her soft hair on his fingers again.

One year had been hell without her when she was still... somewhere.

_Two hundred years. Wasn't two hundred years long enough? _

A sudden splash to port caught his attention and he glanced out over the water. There was a commotion in the distance. A bird? Too big to be a bird. He pulled out his spyglass and saw arms in the water.

"Where the hell did you come from," he muttered, turning the wheel to move toward them. Probably one of the Crocodile's tricks. For a moment Killian considered altering course lest he find his way into a hidden portal straight back to Neverland.

He was moving with the wind, back towards Storybrooke and soon he was nearing the source of the disturbance. Pulling out his spyglass he looked once more at the figure still treading water in the waves. He acted without thought, finding a spare rope and rigging it up, the knot tight around his waist and tossing a rope ladder over the side to provide them with a way back aboard. With no one on board to pull him up he hoped like hell the man in the water didn't lose consciousness before he reached them. He shed his coat, took a deep breath and dove in after them.

When he finally reached the figure he paused, treading water and blinking the salt from his eyes. Once his eyes cleared he gaped. Golden hair. _Swan?_ His lips formed around the word but no sound came out.

His blood seemed to freeze in his veins. _Leviathan Shoals. _The mists of Leviathan Shoals cloud the mind, and brings to pass your deepest desires as distraction. More potent and more deadly than a siren's call. He'd been the fool to it's delusions once before, but then they had taken the shape of his brother. But there was no mist, and he was realms away from those cursed shores. A siren then? Distracting him with his deepest desire to drag him to unseen rocks.

"Hook?" she cried, swimming towards him, the heavy leather of her jacket making her sluggish. "Next time just throw me a rope!"

Emma was dead, he chastised himself. It must be a siren who had taken her form, waiting most likely to drag him to the depths. He knew this ... and yet... Closing the distance between them he wrapped an arm around her and pressed his lips to her forehead. It wasn't her, it couldn't be her. But if he closed his eyes, maybe he wouldn't remember that while she dragged him under.

"HOOK! What the hell are you doing, you're going to drown us both!"

His eyes flew open. _Not a siren? _He released her and she immediately turned toward the ship, following the line he'd brought with him. When they reached the ship she grabbed ahold of the rope ladder and pulled herself up, Killian a few seconds behind her. By the time he pulled himself onto the deck Emma was standing facing him, her eyes blazing with fury.

"How _dare_ you," she cried.

Killian gapped at her like a grounded fish and her fury grew. "You're a hypocrite, Killian Jones. A hypocrite and a coward-"

He took a step toward her, still silent as she glared daggers at him.

"Swan?" he whispered, voice barely audible over the wind.

"Yeah, remember me?"

He threw himself forward suddenly, Emma took one step back but it wasn't enough to prevent him from locking his arms around her and clasping her tight to him. "Emma? Is it really...please tell me this is not some torturous trick."

"Torturous trick?" she spat, shoving him hard in a futile attempt to break his grip. "You _left_ me. You _abandoned me_" When the shove failed to dislodge him she reached for her magic, throwing him backward with a pulse of power. _The same way she'd killed Cruella, _her mind taunted_. Would she kill him too? Toss him back to his beloved sea and leave him there to rot?_

Her blast had sent him skidding on his back and he slowly raised himself up to his knees.

_"You died," _he whispered.

"What?" Emma asked viciously, striding forward. "What excuse could you possibly have. After everything you said... after everything. The first sign of trouble and you make for the seas again?"

He swallowed hard and repeated himself, "You... you died."

The breath she had sucked in for some continuation of the verbal assault came out in a startled "what?"

"Please Swan...tell me this isn't some hellish game of the Crocodile's."

She was quiet for a moment as she tried to figure out what he was saying. _ She died? _Suddenly she realized what he was asking her. He wanted some indication that she was really... herself. She closed the distance between them and knelt in front of him. He still sat frozen on the deck and she reached to brush her fingers through his damp hair.

"I still have the scarf," she told him quietly. "In my drawer at the sheriff's station. Where I put your hook when you first came to-" He cut her off with a fevered kiss, slamming into her with a desperation that knocked her backwards. His arms locked her to him, pulling them both down to the deck as his hand gripped the back of her head then traced the line of her neck and buried itself into her hair.

She was the one to pull away to examine his face. His eyes were red rimmed, bright, fevered and desperate. She cupped his jaw with one hand. "Talk to me, Killian."

"You were gone..." He whispered, voice thick. "You were _dead." _He tightened his arms around her as though afraid to let her go.

"What are you talking about? I'm right here. I think I'd be the first to know if I was dead," she teased, trying to make him smile.

"The cliff, you fell. There was so much blood and..." he dipped shaking fingers into his pocket and pulled out the charm he had found.

"Rumpelstiltskin," her eyes narrowed at the charm but when she looked back up at him her gaze softened. "Hey, Killian," she said brushing her fingers across his face again. "I'm right here, everything is fine, I'm right here."

She wrapped her arms around him, holding him close as he buried his head in her neck. "How did you get out here," he finally asked.

She chuckled, "I... poofed," she said with a little shrug. "I saw you leaving. I wanted to explain to you what a hypocritical bastard you were before you left. Apparently my aim isn't great."

"Hypocritical?" She was quiet a moment and he pulled away to look at her. She looked nervous suddenly and his eyebrows furrowed. She smiled slightly and shrugged "Never mind. Do you have any towels on this boat? It's freezing up here in the wind." Abruptly she pulled away and pulled herself to her feet. She turned towards his cabin and Killian halted.

"Not there," he said hurriedly, getting to his feet and darting forward to grab her wrist before she could open it.

Emma raised her eyebrows, "Someone else in your cabin I should know about?" she teased, but he didn't release his grip. "Killian... what's wrong with you? I've been in your cabin before... I think your honor will stay intact as long as you leave the door cracked."

He winced and released her arm. She looked at him oddly for a moment but he nodded to the hatch and she pulled it open, making her way below and out of the wind. He followed her, and when he reached the bottom she was frozen in place one hand still clasping the rungs of the ladder.

The room was always obnoxiously neat and orderly, now it was utterly destroyed. Broken bottles littered the floor along with torn and stained maps and book pages. Nearly every artifact that had once lived so neatly on his shelves and walls, was missing or broken on the floor somewhere. Large gouges scoured the walls and the table was overturned, the splintered remains of the chairs scattered around the room.

"What...what happened?" she said in shock as she took in the room.

"You were dead," he said quietly.

"You did this?"

"I've... something of a temper," he said, watching her carefully. When she reached for his hand and clasped it tight he felt the relief like a weight being lifted from his shoulders. "Why did you call me hypocritical?" he asked again.

"I was mad."

"Swan... Emma, I will never choose to leave you. I'm not strong enough to do it, don't you understand that? Now come, lass. Talk to me?"

"Even if I'm not who you though I was?"

"I know you, love. Better then you know yourself, remember?"

"I killed her." Emma finally admitted. "She was incapable of hurting anyone, and I killed her." She expected him to pull away, to screw up his eyebrows. or give her that worried look her parents had on their faces all day. All he did was pull her closer and press a light kiss to her hair.

"You were protecting your son. You thought I would leave because you protected your son?"

"I'm supposed to ... find the better way. I didn't. I took the easy way. Just like my parents did."

"Tell me, did you even know she was no threat to your lad?"

"No, not until later. But... a hero would have found a better way."

"Did you consider another way to save Henry?"

"No, Killian." She said irritably trying to pull away. He didn't release her hand though and her eyes dropped as she continued. "That's what I'm trying to tell you... I just... reacted... I just-"

"You misunderstand, love." he whispered. "Remember that year that you spent in New York, I found the Jolly in the hands of Blackbeard?"

"You told me about this Killian."

"I tossed him overboard in shark infested waters."

"It's not the same. Ariel saved him. He survived."

"No, it's not the same. Because I _intended_ to kill him. I knew there was another way, I knew he could have helped Ariel find her prince and I chose to take his life instead. Not to protect someone, but because I was angry. And I _wanted_ him dead."

"What difference does it make if I wanted her dead or not. She's still dead. "

"It makes all the difference in the world, love."

"Shouldn't I feel..." Her words caught in her throat and Killian pulled her closer, his arms locking around her and pulling her flush to him.

"She threatened your lad. You are allowed to be relieved she's gone. That doesn't make you a villain."

Emma leaned into him and he rubbed soothing circles into her back, giving her a few moments to collect herself again. "Why did you leave, Killian. Storybrooke is your home too. You could have stayed."

He stiffened and pulled away, taking her hand again and leading her to his cot. Her eyebrows shot up but she sat, looking up at him curiously as he stood in front of her.

"I didn't wish to contaminate Henry's story, as I had yours."

"Con- Killian, what are you talking about?"

"You were... I thought you were gone. I couldn't stand the thought that your boy could suffer the same fate."

"Killian-"

"Everyone I have ever loved is dead by violent means, Emma. My brother, Baelfire, Milah. You are my happy ending love... but I fear being a part of my happy ending is no better than a death sentence."

Emma's eyes narrowed, "So you're just going to give up? Accept that some author will determine your fate?"

"Sw-"

"And what about me? I'm in the book now, don't I deserve a happy ending?"

"You do lass, and I've every confidence you'll get it."

Emma shot up, eyes bright as she glared up at him. "It's the same story!" Killian cocked his head to one side, taken aback by her sudden passion. She bit her lip and looked away before continuing. "Your story and mine, it's the same story now."

He leaned down and kissed her forehead gently, then her cheek, and finally her lips.

A smile spread across his lips and Emma couldn't help but roll her eyes. "Didn't you know?"

"I hoped."

* * *

**Granted we don't know what was in Emma's head when she sent Cruella over that cliff, I will say though that I suspect her intention was, 'protect henry' not 'kill cruella.' ****So I might have snuck some moral philosophy in there while you weren't looking. :P The principle of double effect... while I doubt Killian would know it by that name, he seems particularly well suited to understand its implications.**

**Also, I enjoyed the reviewer who suggested that once Emma and Killian find out what Rumple did they would go on a crocodile hunting expedition! hahahaha, yup probably. ****I do wonder what he is up to, our slippery crocodile...**

**It's (almost) once day! **


	58. The Dark Swan (1 of 3?)

**LynyrdWrites requested dark CS... **

**(And there is no way I can refuse them anything so here goes.)**

** I have to get back to work, but here's a taste... A preview perhaps? **

* * *

The day they met she lit his ship on fire.

He caught her sneaking out of the hold, smoke billowing behind her. He nearly removed her gorgeous head on the spot.

"Bloody hell did you do to my ship?" he spat at her, blade rising to her neck in an instant.

"The way I see it you can either put out the flames, or you can keep that sword at my throat," the woman said with a smirk.

His eyes narrowed and he pressed forward, the blade leaving a tempting line along her throat. "Or I could kill you right now and then put out the flames.

"Then you'd never know."

"Never know what?"

She shrugged tauntingly and he nearly growled at her in irritation. "As it turns out, I'm not the curious type," he shoved her backwards, smirking at the slight widening of her eyes as she tumbled back down the ladder into the hold. He slammed the door shut behind her, smoke still seeping out the cracks.

"Flood the ballast, and the hold," he cried wedging the tip of his blade into the hold door. It shook with the woman's attempts to escape as the crew opened up the floodgates to fill the hold with water. He could hear hissing below as the flames sputtered in the sea water and the ship lowered slowly into the sea.

"You're really going to sink your own boat?" a voice commented from behind him.

Killian spun, "how the devil did you get up here?" he said in surprise when he discovered the lass he had just murdered was apparently quite alive and at the helm of his ship. "Hands off the helm-" he said starting to move towards her. A sudden force slammed him into the mast and the woman appeared in front of him in a plume of scarlet smoke.

"You tried to kill me pirate."

"Unsuccessfully, it seems."

"I don't like people that try to kill me."

"I don't like people that light my ship on fire."

The woman cocked her head to one side. "Consider your words carefully, pirate. Consider that I could send you to the depths with just the tiniest flick of my smallest finger. She brushed his cheek lightly with her finger in emphasis and he grinned.

"Why did you light my ship on fire?"

"Fun."

"Liar."

"That's usually my line," she mused, "and you're the one tied to the mast."

"We could fix that, if you prefer" he taunted.

"I was told you had something of mine."

"What is it you seek, milady. You've already power." He looked for over again, all leather and beautiful scarlet stitching. "And if your attire is anything to go by you've no need to raid humble sailing vessels-"

"I want the dagger."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Hook retorted, eyes narrowing.

"Now you're the liar." Emma held up one hand and the blade the pirate had wedged into the hold door flew across the ship into her grip. Not a clean trip if the cry from a member of the crew was any indication. "One more chance, pirate. Where is that dagger?"

"You've magic... What's to stop you from killing me once you have it in your possession."

"What's to stop me from killing you right now?"

"Fair point," Hook admitted, wincing away from where the blade pressed into his skin. "I don't have it, my dear, but I know how to find it."

Emma lowered the blade and watched the pirate carefully for a moment. She sighed and waved her hand. The force pressing into Killian's chest lightened and he sighed in relief. The ship was riding low in the water now, and Killan signaled his crew to empty the ballast tanks and drain the flooded compartments. "You're lucky you didn't choose to burn down my cabin, darling, or you would have destroyed some very important things."

"Like what," Emma asked.

"The bed for one," he said, holding open the hatch for her to descend. If he expected her to blush he was disappointed. She simply rolled her eyes as she climbed down the ladder.

Killian followed close behind and moved over to the wall. "Turn around, love. I prefer to keep some secrets."

"No."

"If you insist," he commented, "I thought you might want a peek-" his hands moving to untie his breeches. Finally Emma flushed and spun to face the wall, muttering under her breath something about if she wanted him she'd have had him by now. Hook chuckled and removed his hook, quickly unlocking the safe on the wall with it, before slipping it back into place. He pulled out a couple of items and dropped them on his desk.

Emma turned to look at them and her eyebrows crinkled. "That does not look like a dagger, pirate."

"Captain will do," Hook commented, "and your observational skills do you credit. This is a compass."

"I already know which way north is," she huffed in irritation.

"Congratulations, but this compass doesn't point north. And this..." he smoothed out a piece of paper on the desk-

"is a map," Emma finished, removing her leather gloves to examine it more closely. "It's ... a very strange map. I can't read this. There's nothing... no point of reference..."

"Indeed you can't. I however can, because I wrote it."

"Tell me where it leads," she ordered.

"And let you try to kill me again. I think not, Princess."

The woman stiffened and turned narrowed eyes to him. "I am no Princess."

"So you are not the only daughter of the dark one herself, self proclaimed Queen of all this land? Or was your objection simply the title. Do you prefer your chosen name, Swan? I find it interesting that the Dark One sent someone else to do her-"

"I was sent by no one," Swan snapped.

"So what does the daughter of the Dark One need the dagger for?"

"To kill the Dark One."

"You'd kill your own mother?" Killian asked, eying her approvingly.

"And anyone that gets in my way," she reminded him.

"And why should I assist you in becoming the new Dark One. The last time I tangled with her I came out with one less limb and a new moniker."

"Because I'll kill you if you don't?" She offered, eyes cold.

"You'll kill me if I do. I don't see this as a winning situation for me, darling, and I've no intention of dying."

Swan stepped closer, examining Hook closely for a moment before responding. Suddenly she reached for the collar of his jacket and jerked him forward, crashing his lips to hers. She bit his lip hard, deepening the kiss when he gasped. He slammed her back into the wall in retribution, his bleeding lips pressing into her neck and leaving bruises in their wake. She shoved him back again and he felt her magic in the blow, holding him firmly against the opposite wall. She approached with a smirk, using her thumb to wipe a fleck of blood from her lip.

"Because it will be fun," she finally said, tracing his jaw with her fingers, a teasingly light pressure. "What do you say, Captain?"

Hook grinned, "I'm in."

* * *

**I told you there would be fire, didn't I, lynyrdwrites! **


	59. The Dark Swan (2 of 3?)

_**Oh you guys are going to hate me so much. Darn you LynyrdWrites I'm like a little kid.I can't resist a good dare :P **_

_**The Dark Swan - Part 2 of 3**_

* * *

"You fight like a coward, Swan" Hook teased with a chuckle as she raised her blade to block his once more. She was backing away again, losing ground at an embarrassing rate.

"And you fight like a royal," she bit back, her breath coming short. "You're all flowery flourishes and that spinning… nonsense!"

"These flowery flourishes could end you, my dear," he taunted.

The rule was no magic… because he told her that she couldn't handle it, and she'd always loved a challenge. But his eyes were dark and cold and Swan knew that if she lowered her blade there was just as good a chance that he would kill her as kiss her. She tried to keep up, but there was a stitch in her side and her arms were burning and he was laughing…laughing at her. He didn't even look tired. Damn him.

She threw herself forward, hoping to catch him off guard but he simply grinned, ducked under her blow and pain ignited in her chest as the blade passed straight through vest, tunic and skin alike. Her vision went instantly blurry and her knees buckled. She expected to feel the solid wood of the deck jar her painfully, but she didn't. Darkness pressed in on her and she heard a low whisper in her ear.

"That all you've got, Princess?"

"The heat in her chest flared, but this time it wasn't pain. It was anger, rage like only he could draw out of her. Her magic sparking to life again and dancing along her skin stitching the broken tissues back together. The burning was almost pleasant now and as it finally faded her eyes flicked open. Killian had caught her when she fell and he was looking down at her a trace of what could almost be called concern on his features.

"You've gone soft," she accused him.

"You've gone pale," he retorted, "and you got blood on my deck again."

"It's a stupid competition anyway," Swan scoffed. "I have magic, what's the point of competing without it."

Hook shrugged and motioned to a deck hand to clean up the mess, "Perhaps one day you'll find out, lass."

"Are you threatening me?" Swan shot back, eyes glittering dangerously.

"I just put a sword through your lungs, my dear, it's a little late for that question."

"Lucky for you you're a better swordsman than you are a navigator."

Hook grinned and offered her the sextant, "By all means love, give us the _proper _heading."

"It's daytime, Hook."

"Look who's such a clever girl."

"Just admit it... you're lost."

"How about you admit that something magical is blocking our way and you haven't a clue what it is? Wasn't preventing magical interference your part of the arrangement?"

"My part of the arrangement was not killing you," she corrected with a smirk.

"You'd miss me."

"I'd replace you."

"Would you, darling?" He leaned closer and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear before leaning in to whisper, "I hear Mr. Smee is a surprisingly adept lover."

Swan shuddered in repulsion and grabbed for the collar of his jacket, missing slightly and capturing instead the necklaces that he always wore. She tugged him in and kissed him hard, the rumble of his chuckle somehow both immensely attractive and utterly infuriating.

"So what now?" she asked as she pulled away, still turning over the charms of his necklace between her fingers.

"How about we return to my cabin so I can show you why you keep me," he smirked tauntingly and she pulled him closer once more.

"Everyone is replaceable," she whispered venomously, finally releasing his charms.

"Even you?" Hook asked, as she was about to turn away.

"Everyone is replaceable," she repeated flatly. She glanced out toward the shore and Killian moved to the side of the ship to join her.

"Care for a walk, Swan?"

They came as close to shore as depth would allow and Hook lowered a small sideboat alongside the ship. Dropping down first he offered her his hand to help her step down but she just laughed. "Now you decide to be a gentleman?"

"You do me a dishonor milady," he responded with a smile. "I'm always a gentleman." Swan vanished and reappeared in a plume of red smoke, now sitting comfortably in the small boat.

She watched him as he settled, curious how he was going to work the oars, before she noticed one had a hole bored through it; the perfect size for his attachment. "If you can do that," Hook grumbled under his breath, "why are we bothering with the dinghy?"

"Ambiance," Swan replied cooly.

Before long they were disembarking on the beach, pulling the boat up behind them. Hook pulled out the compass, glancing at it briefly. When she moved towards him to look at it he took a step back.

"If it doesn't point North... what does it point to?" she asked, irritated.

"I'm not entirely certain," the pirate admitted. "Got it from a man for a keg of Rum. He told me it would help me find the Dark One's dagger."

"How?"

"He didn't quite get around to saying."

"Why not?" Swan raised her eyebrows questioningly, and Hook shrugged.

"Funny story that. When he gave it to me it was pointing North. Thought he'd swindled me... it wasn't until I was dumping his body overboard that I realized it didn't always point North."

"So... what do you think it points to?"

"Magic."

"Magic?" she repeated dubiously.

He took a step towards her and angled the compass so that she could see. It spun wildly, every which direction until he took a step away and the needle settled pointing inland. "But too much magic nearby ...seems to interfere."

"So we're just following the magic compass in the hopes that it's pointing to a dagger... somewhere?"

Hook nodded.

"What about the map?"

"Oh that? That's nothing to do with the dagger."

Swan's eyes narrowed, "What do you mean, 'it's nothing to do with the dagger'?"

"I mean the map does lead somewhere... it leads to a stash of more rum than I could hope to consume in three lifetimes."

"You lied to me?"

Hook glanced up at her in surprise, "Course I bloody lied to you! Would I have survived the night if you'd known you could just steal a magical compass to your heart's desire."

"So why did you tell me this now?" Swan asked.

"I'm trying something new, darling."

"What's that?"

Killian just gestured into the woods with his hook, "Shall we?"

"Follow the magic compass to who knows where with a pirate who lied to me?"

"That seems to be the state of things. I do know what happens when you get bored, love, and I prefer my ship un-charred."

"Oh come on... it was _once_."

"Three times," he corrected leading the way into the woods.

"It was not. I specifically rem- oh... that didn't count though because I was aiming for Smee."

"Mom?" a loud cry rang out from the woods in front of them. Hook's blade was out in an instant and a fireball materialized in Swan's hand. A boy, probably in his early teens with short brown hair peeked out at them from the trees.

"Do I look like your mother?" Swan asked sharply, and the boy smiled.

"A bit. You don't remember me do you? I'm Henry."

"Why aren't you running," Swan commented, sounding bored. "Run in zig zags, ok kid? Makes for more of a challenge."

"You're not going to kill me," Henry said confidently.

The fireball in Swan's hand grew larger and Hook chuckled. "Bad decision lad, did no one ever teach you not to taunt women with fireballs?"

"I know you, and you know me. And I can prove it!"

"Really?" Swan asked. "All right, I'm curious. Prove it, and I'll give you twenty seconds head start."

"Your real name is Emma," he said quickly.

The fireball flickered and died and Swan stared at the boy, dumbfounded for a moment. "How do you know that, no one knows that, except..." Suddenly the fireball sprang to life once more. "My mother sent you, didn't she? She thought my name would stay my hand... well it won't. In fifteen seconds I'm going to throw this fireball at you. If you survive, run back to the Dark One and tell her that I am coming for her. Her time is done."

"Mom, this isn't you. Please you have to listen to me-"

"You have 15 seconds, kid."

"You can beat this. You're the savior, you're supposed to bring back the happy endings."

"Ten."

"He's just a lad, Swan." Hook said putting away his blade. "He probably doesn't even have his heart, if I know the Dark One."

"Mom, please-"

"Five."

The boy hesitated for a moment longer then finally turned, fleeing the clearing as fast as he could manage.

"Zig zags, my lad," Hook called after him, laughing. "Don't forget the zig zags."

The fireball flew, engulfing half the clearing in a hot blue flame before finally fading. The scorched earth sizzled, the smell of grass and flowers replaced in an instant with the smell of smoke.

"Well that was fun," Hook commented, "but if you're done playing, we have work to do."

* * *

They took no breaks for rest, neither of them were willing to be the first one to request a pause, so they simply carried on. They spoke little, because the terrain was hilly and taking it's toll on the both of them.

"It's a lovely name," Killian finally told her. "There's no need to be so put out about it."

"I'm not _put out. _That's the name my mother gave me. It's not _mine_." She turned back to face him, a look of annoyance on her face. "How much longer are we going to follow this absurd compass of yours? Perhaps you were right the first time around. The guy swindled you."

"You think so Swan?" Reaching out with his hook he pulled aside a branch, revealing the giant beanstalk that lay beyond. "What do you suppose are the chances what we want is at the top of that beanstalk?"

"Or maybe it's just a compass to find giant beanstalks."

"You're not afraid of a little climb, are you?"

"This is ridiculous," Swan muttered. Turning to wrap her arms around him they both vanished. Emma couldn't be sure of what was on the top, so she transported them as high as she could see on the giant stalk. She heard a small gasp from beside her as they appeared, and Killian slammed his hook into the beanstalk to keep himself from falling. One of Swan's arms was still wrapped around his waist and he smirked at her.

"Transporting is easier in direct physical contact" she explained, trying to detangle herself from his grip without dislodging herself from the beanstalk as well.

"You needn't manufacture a magical excuse to grab me, Swan, next time don't stand on ceremony."

"I said it was easier," she retorted, "don't think for a second you couldn't find yourself hovering in midair should I choose to place you there."

"You're starting to like me, Swan, I can tell."

"You're delusional. Or drunk. Or both."

She snuck out of his grip and they both began to climb the remaining distance to the top ."Tell me, love. Is your intention murder or control," he asked as

"Both, generally."

"When you get the dagger, I mean. Do you want your mother dead, or would you rather she do your bidding?"

"I already have power," Swan said, and I don't much like the idea of being tied to anyone that should manage to discover that blade. "With her under my thumb I could usurp not only her power, her kingdom, but all the surrounding kingdoms as well. She's useful. And I could lock her in a tower when I've no need for her, which is poetic justice if I've ever heard it."

"Why would you say that?" Hook asked.

"Because that's what she did to me. Until I got powerful enough to break away. She's afraid of me. She's always been afraid of me. Because she knows I'm nearly as powerful as she is, even without the Dark One's curse.

"So you'd let her live, even after everything she's done?"

"What do you care?" she retorted quickly. They were nearing the top and she turned back to look at him after she pulled herself up into the land of the Giants.

"Why do you think I've followed you all this way?" Hook asked, joining her at the top of the beanstalk and closing the distance between them.

"Survival instinct?" she commented with a half smile.

"Indeed. You and I, we understand each other. Look out for yourself, and you'll never get hurt, right? You're bloody brilliant Swan, amazing. I'd rather be on your good side."

"And what to I get out of it," she asked contemplatively. "I've got magic. You've got one hand."

"You know I'm good in a fight. You watch my back I'll watch yours. So long as our purposes align."

"And when they no longer align?"

"I try to stab you before you throw me off a cliff, obviously." His hand slipped lower on her back and pressed her forward. "There are benefits," he murmured quietly, "to not being alone." Swan bit her lip gently as she considered his words and his eyes flicked down to her lips none too subtlely. "We're bloody fantastic together, Swan. Your magic, my blade and our wits...we'd be unstoppable."

"If they tried, they'd burn," Swan told him.

"To ashes, love."

A smile slipped across her face and she nodded. "You've got yourself a deal, pirate."

He bent to kiss her and her fingers gripped his collar again. She always did like the control it brought her to drag him down, to shove him against the wall, kiss him until his lips were near bleeding from her assault then leave him, growling and cursing behind her; pinned to the wall by her magic until she chose to release him.

_Not this time._

This time when she pushed him backwards he spun, using her momentum to press her to the wall she'd been intending for him. His hook pinned one wrist behind her. He expected to be thrown back, but she just chuckled. It was barely audible but he could feel it on her lips. Suddenly he froze and Swan whined her disapproval. She pressed forward, chasing his lips with her own but he only pulled away further, detangling his hand from her hair gently. He brushed his fingers along her cheek and she opened her eyes, just in time to see a pained expression flick across his face. With an abrupt cry, he fell limp at her feet, revealing Snow White standing behind him, still brushing the dust from her fingers.

"Hello, Emma. It's so nice to see you sweetheart."

* * *

_**Oops, did I do that.**_

_**(Don't you start an Angst battle with me, LynyrdWrites. I may use too many kitten gifs but I hate losing.)**_

_(I'm going to owe you guys so much fluff when I'm through this DarkEmmaDarkKillian phase...*cough*)_


	60. The Dark Swan (3 of 3)

Swan's stomach clenched as she watched the pirate collapse to her feet. Of course she'd seen men die like this before. With Snow White for a mother she'd seen that and far worse. Swan had even taken a few hearts of her own. But him? Despite her earlier comment about replacing him she felt her blood pound in her ears, a rage that she'd not felt in a long time clawing its way to the surface.

"Not even a hello?" her mother asked sweetly. "We haven't seen each other in so long, and where do I find you. Gallivanting with a lowly pirate in search of _my_ dagger?"

"How did you find us?" Emma asked tersely, standing and biting her lip, determined not to show her mother any weakness.

"Oh dear, you really liked this one didn't you? I'm sorry, sweetheart but I've tangled with this pirate before. He had his warning."

Swan glanced behind her and saw the boy from the clearing, Jeffry or something like that? The boy was struggling to move, crying out but Snow's magic kept him still and silent. To Swan's surprise she saw the boy was crying. Probably for fear that he would be next.

"I will find it. I was going to let you live as my servant. Now when I find it you will die."

Snow smiled coldly and reached out, her hand passing through Emma to clench her heart. Swan winced slightly then laughed, "We both know if you could remove my heart you would have killed me years ago."

"I should have drowned you when you were a child."

"You really should have."

Snow released her heart and there was a gust of purple smoke. The dagger appeared and Swan lunged for it. Snow vanished and reappeared behind her.

"Thank you for leading me to my long lost dagger, my darling. I couldn't have found it without you." Then the Dark One vanished, leaving Swan behind with the boy and the body of the fallen pirate.

Swan knelt searching for Hook's pulse and knowing that she wouldn't find it. His body was still warm, but his heart was still. Gone. Dust.

The boy crawled forward to the pirate and to Swan's surprise he grasped the man's jacket and shook him.

"Killian?" he whispered, "Killian, come on, wake up. This isn't how the story goes."

Swan scoffed at him, "you can't wake a man with no heart, kid. What the hell do you care?"

"This isn't right," he whispered, tears still streaming down his face. "This isn't over, mom. You have to give back the happy endings and then... it will be better. Everything will be better.

"You're cracked kid. But you're right about one thing."

Henry looked up and Emma was smiling darkly at him. Suddenly Emma reached out and gripped the boy's heart. She tugged and the heart resisted at first. The residue of an old protection spell perhaps, regardless it wasn't enough now and Emma pulled the heart from his chest.

"Thanks, Jeffry." With a grin she put the boy's heart into Hook's chest. Hook gasped and Henry fell, a look of shock still on his face.

"Morning pirate, have a nice nap?"

Hook blinked several times trying to get his bearings before his eyes fell on the boy.

"What happened to him?" he asked.

"He leant you his heart. Well... not so much willingly. You are the proud new owner of Jeffry's heart."

"Henry."

"What?"

"The boy's name..." Hook's face had settled into a mask that Swan couldn't read as he looked at the boy and she shrugged.

"Doesn't matter now."

"Is he dead?" Hook asked, voice flat.

"Soon enough. People don't last long without their hearts. Let's go, our task just got more difficult. My mother found-"

"Can you do a preservation spell?"

Swan looked up and the pirate was still watching the boy, face unreadable. "How do you even know what that is?"

"Can you do it?"

"What do you care? Come on ... we have work to do. Don't make me regret bringing you back."

"You're going to need him, Swan."

"Why?"

"I have ... some of the boys memories. I know how to destroy your mother."

This seemed to get Swan's attention because she glanced up, motioning him to continue.

"There is a curse. If it's broken your mother will lose all her power. And it's much easier than trying to steal the dagger back from her. But you'll need the boy."

Swan smiled, "There's my pirate. I was worried your brain got scrambled while you were dead. So what do we need him for?"

"There's a woman, his mother. If we can find her...restore her happy ending, the... the curse will break."

"I'm not much for restoring happy endings," Swan commented with a touch of annoyance.

"Even if it strips the Dark One of all her magic in the process?"

Swan waved her hand over the boy, a ripple of magic settling over his body. "The preservation spell won't do him any good without his heart after a few hours," she reminded him.

Hook nodded. "I know." He shook his head then and looked up at her with a smirk on his features. "His mother doesn't know that does she?"

Swan grinned and stood, shaking the dust from her clothes, "So where do we find this woman?"

"She's a bandit in the woods near here. Spends a lot of time in a tavern near the waterfront. I took you there once to meet with the sheriff, do you recall?" Swan nodded and Killian continued. "Can you get us there?"

Swan nodded and Killian knelt to pick up the boy carefully. Too carefully perhaps, because Swan gave him a strange look. With a wave of her hands all three vanished. When he opened his eyes they were just outside the rowdy tavern, even rowdier today due to the Sheriff of Loxley's impending wedding. It seems he'd taken the day off from stealing every glittering thing this side of the castle to get completely drunk in the celebrations.

They entered the tavern and Hook got the innkeeper's attention. His normal room was made available, probably through the eviction of its current occupants and Killian set Henry gently on the bed. He'd given Swan a description of the bandit in question and she remained downstairs... convincing the townsfolk to assist her in finding the woman.

Probably through methods that Killian didn't much want to think about. He collapsed into a chair next to the bed to wait, and brushed his fingers through his hair. _She didn't even remember Henry's name. _She stole her own son's heart, shoved it back in his chest and moved on like it was just another day.

_It is, _he reminded himself, _for her_. He could feel Henry's heart pounding in his chest and it sent a bolt of guilt through his chest with every beat. Henry's heart had brought back more than his heartbeat. It had brought back his memories in a flood that had been so overwhelming it was a challenge for him to keep his face expressionless. It wouldn't do to have Swan realize something was 'wrong' with him now.

Scarlet smoke appeared in the room and Killian schooled his expression back into a disinterested expression. Regina was with her now and she instantly ran to Henry's side. She'd no magic in this world, apparently because although she recognized the boy she clearly did not notice his missing heart or the preservation spell.

Killian pulled Emma aside and she instantly turned on him. "Did it work? How do we know when my mother has lost her magic?"

"I'm no expert, love, but I hardly think finding her son dead is her happy ending," Killian told her matter of factly.

Swan narrowed her eyes at him. "You told me this would work."

"It will love, but not without the boy."

"You want me to return his heart? Killian without it you'll-"

"Don't worry about that love," he whispered. " Once the curse is lifted you can rip it right back out again. No harm done, yes?"

She nodded and raised her hand to remove Henry's heart but Killian stopped her. "Give me a moment with Regina, love? I've her boy's heart in my chest. I know what to say to her to be sure this works properly."

Swan shrugged and stepped outside and Killian moved to the side of the bed. Regina clasped her son's hand tightly and tears streaked down her face. _ That's good,_ he noted. _She remembers him. _

"Regina I need you to listen to me very carefully. We're going to fix this, we're going to bring Henry back."

Regina looked up at him in surprise, "You can do that?"

"Emma can. Some of what I am about to tell you isn't going to make a lot of sense but I need you to remember this, ok?"

Regina nodded.

"It's vital you don't tell Swan any of this until this curse...or whatever it is... is broken."

"What curse? How will I know when it's broken?"

"You'll know. When that happens I need you to tell Emma that I knew _exactly_ what I was doing. Tell her I'm sorry I had to leave, but it was the only way and I can't regret the choice for a single moment. And tell her mother that it isn't her fault. And make sure Henry doesn't blame himself. I don't know why he would but that family excels at feeling guilty sometimes... Tell him he has my gratitude, for giving me the chance to fix things. Can you do that for me?"

"I don't understand-"

"You will. Please Regina, can you do that?"

The woman nodded and Killian squeezed her hand in gratitude. Killian went to the door and brought Emma back into the room. Unable to resist one last kiss he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers gently. It was Killian, not Hook, and she cocked her head to the side, confused.

"See you on the other side," she murmured. With that she reached in and removed Henry's heart. The moment it left his chest Killian collapsed again and Swan moved to the boy's side, returning the glowing organ she'd stolen. The boy shot up in bed and Regina gathered him instantly into her arms, her tears now tears of relief and joy. Brushing his hair from his face she kissed her forehead gently. A pulse of magic rippled through the room and all went dark.

* * *

When Emma opened her eyes she was half collapsed on the table at Granny's. People were stirring all around her, faces masks of confusion as they tried to remember what had happened. Emma turned to Henry and gathered him up in a tight hug.

"Henry... I'm so sorry. Are you alright?"

He nodded and she looked around. Killian was nowhere to be seen. He'd been down at the docks when the author finished his writing ... suddenly Emma remembered him falling. His heart crumbling to dust.

"No-" she muttered.

Regina turned to her, eyes wide in surprise and sudden understanding. "He knew-" she muttered then she reached for Emma's arm. "He knew. He wanted me to tell you that he knew what he was doing... that he was sorry he had to leave-"

Emma didn't let her speak anymore, giving Henry one last hug and taking off in the direction of the docks, terrified of what she'd find when she arrived. When she reached the Jolly Roger she was out of breath and she nearly stumbled her way up the gangplank. She'd barely made it halfway up when the hatch to the Captain's cabin threw itself open and Killian emerged. He reached her halfway across the deck and scooped her into his arms, spinning her around before setting her down again and burying his face in her neck.

"You're alive," Emma whispered in relief, "thank God, I thought-"

"As did I, love. I've never been happier to be wrong. Where's Henry?"

"He's fine, back at Granny's." Emma laughed, a beautiful sound of mingled relief and joy as she brushed her fingers through his hair. She pressed her lips to his neck and his cheek, to whatever skin she could reach without loosening her arms around his neck, fearing to loosen her grip lest he collapse at her feet for a third and final time.

"You did it," she murmured in his ear. "You brought back the happy endings."

He laughed and pulled away to kiss her, locking his arms tight around her waist to keep her close. "Does that make me the savior now," he teased.

"It does today." Emma's phone began to ring and she dug into her pocket to see who it was, seeing her mothers picture flash on the screen before she picked it up.

"Hey, sorry I just ran out I just-"

"_Is he ok_?"

"He's fine, mom."

"_Can I talk to him?_"

Emma handed the phone to Killian who took it in surprise.

"_Killian_?" Snow asked.

"At your service, milady."

_"Thank God. I'm so sorry-"_

"And all this time I thought it was going to be your Charming husband that did me in." He chuckled, "It wasn't your fault, lass, that wasn't you."

"_Regina told me what you did. You didn't have to do that. No one would have known if you... hadn't."_

Killian pursed his lips and Emma leaned closer to try to hear what her mother was saying, but Killian pulled away, thwarting her efforts. "I would have, and that's quite enough."

"_I didn't mean-_" Snow started and then sighed. "_I only meant... I only meant thank you Killian. For protecting our family."_

"Anytime, milady, and I do mean that quite seriously."

_"Will you come back to the loft for dinner? I thought we might have a family dinner tonight in celebration of another crisis averted."_

"It would be my honor."

Killian handed the phone back to Emma who was watching him curiously. "What did she say to you?"

"Turns out she's glad I'm not dead after all. I'm growing on them Swan, I believe I've just been invited to a 'family dinner' back at the loft.

"Least she could do after killing you, really!"

He chuckled and took her hand to lead her down the gangplank. "Indeed. I've a favor to ask of you, too."

Emma raised her eyebrows and he grinned. "One day you must wear that outfit for me again. You looked bloody unbelievable."

"I'm pretty sure that outfit came from the imagination of either Rumpelstiltskin or the author."

He made a face at the mention of Rumpelstiltskin and Emma laughed.

"Only if you wear the vest," she told him with a smirk.

"You drive a hard bargain Swan, but I think we can come to some form of arrangement."

* * *

_**Happy ONCE day! Are you ready!?**_


	61. Swordplay

_**Silly little one shot of Killian teaching Emma to fence. Inspired by scapeartist reminding me of my little head canon that Killian would teach Emma to fence because he knows that he threw that fight at lake nostos!**_

**_Set somewhere after her return from the time travel adventure but before the finale!_**

* * *

"You can't move from that position. And you can't aim for my sword, love, you're supposed to be trying to hit _me._"

"Watch me," Emma mocked, rushing towards him with a smirk. He darted to one side and gave her a solid shove with his left elbow as she passed. She lost her balance and toppled, glaring at him from the deck of the Jolly with his blade at her throat.

"You're dead, my dear. Moving is no good if you can't maintain your balance."

Emma glared at him and he just smiled as she pulled herself to her feet again. She adjusted her stance slightly and he moved in for an experimental thrust. She parried widely, shoving his sword away but leaving herself exposed at the same time. He illustrated the opening by bringing up his hook to her throat and pressing lightly.

"Dead again, sweetheart."

"That's not fair," she grumbled.

"What makes you think that a man that replaced his hand with a weapon would not use that weapon? Come now love, my sword only needs to miss. Swinging wide leaves that gorgeous neck of yours temptingly exposed." He leaned in and dropped a kiss on the spot and Emma shook her head with a half smile before pulling away.

He attacked once more and Emma parried again, this time keeping her blade close. When he raised his hook she was able to block it. Before she'd even time to gloat she tripped, falling backwards over a cracked hatch in the deck. And when she landed it took him less than a second to settle his blade at her throat again.

"The Jolly Roger is my terrain," he said. "If your enemy knows the terrain better than you do they _will _use that against you. The very ground you walk on will destroy you."

"This is ridiculous," Emma grumbled in irritation as he helped her to her feet., "We both know I can beat you in a real fight."

Killian raised his eyebrows, "is that so?"

"I did once before," she gloated, and he just pursed his lips, a tiny smile fighting at his lips. "Oh don't even," Emma challenged, "You can't tell me you wanted to get knocked out with a compass?"

"That wasn't exactly part of the plan," he amended, "but in fairness to my wounded pride I could have killed you half a dozen times before you found that opening."

"You're full of it, pirate."

"How well do you remember that fight, Swan?"

"I remember winning."

"Ah so you don't remember this-" he raised his blade in a wide swing that gave her all the time in the world to block. "Or this?" he asked, executing a series of parries which forced her back but posed no risk to her person. He came at her again with a wide swing that aimed directly for her sword, without coming anywhere near the several vulnerable positions she now realized she had.

"You threw the fight?" Emma admitted in surprise as Killian sheathed his blade. "After I left you behind. You still threw the fight? That was your best chance to get back to Storybrooke."

"Careful Swan, don't give me more credit than I deserve. I still had that bean…and every intention of getting to Storybrooke. But I … I didn't want to leave your corpse behind as collateral damage."

Emma was quiet for a moment and then she smiled.

Hook raised his eyebrows, "something amusing about that Swan? I was going for something more along the lines of … enlightening."

"You were a terrible villain," Emma finally said leaning in to kiss his cheek. "Thank you."

"I suppose I should choose to take that as a compliment," he muttered grumpily.

"Fine," Emma interrupted, "You threw the fight, but that doesn't really matter anymore when I can do this: With a flick of her fingers Killian's sword appeared in her hand and Killian grinned.

"Try me, love."

"You're unarmed," Emma protested.

"Am I?" he asked, raising his hook. "Don't hold back, love. Show me what you can do."

"If you let me kill you I swear I'll… I'll let my mom redecorate the Jolly Roger."

Killian shuddered and Emma half-heartedly lunged at him. His hook was up in an instant, knocking her blade to the side as he darted in to steal the blade from her sheath bringing it's edge to her throat as he did so.

Emma narrowed her eyes and his blade vanished, appearing point first in the deck of the ship some 10 paces off. He ducked under her next attack, kicking her legs out from under her. She fell heavily to the deck, the blade falling from her grip as his hook found her throat yet again.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Dead," she grumbled in frustration, "are you done showing off?"

He helped her up and pulled her close for a brief kiss, "I'm not showing off, Emma. I'm making a point. Your magic gives you an advantage, sure enough, but it only takes one miscalculation, one misstep and it's over. I've had years to perfect this skill. If you were ever hurt because you didn't know something I could have taught you…" he trailed off and kissed her forehead. "Please, Swan. I can't help you develop your powers. I'm of limited usefulness when villains attack you on a magical front. But I can help you with this. Let me?"

"One condition," Emma replied, and Killian nodded with a question in his eyes. "Teach Henry too?"

* * *

**So that's how Emma got so good at swordplay by the finale :P Still dying of feels after that finale...**


	62. The End, kind of

_**Operation drown out the angst with fluff is in full swing now!**_

* * *

The day Liam was born his eyes were as bright blue as his fathers with enough jet black hair that Emma complained the boy had nothing of her. Then he opened his mouth, screaming his displeasure at the world and Killian had smiled, informing her that certainly the boy had her tenacity.

But he was tiny and so very breakable. Killian was overcome with a sudden terror... What had possibly made him think he could protect something so very breakable?

He'd thought he understood what it was like to have a child. He had Henry, and he knew that he couldn't possibly care more for the boy if his own blood ran through his veins. But then they brought home Liam, and suddenly his whole world turned upside down. Everything shifted focus ever so slightly and he couldn't imagine never having that precious child in his arms. Emma had come in one evening to the nursery as he held the boy close and she must have seen something on his face. She sat next to him and leaned her head on his shoulder.

"What's wrong, Killian?"

"Nothing," he told her dejectedly. "Everything is perfect."

She laughed and raised her eyebrows at him. "Then why do you look so confused?"

"It's perfect now, but I never wanted to... I never cared that Henry wasn't my blood. I still don't."

"I know that, Killian."

"But this...it feels ... different? I'm sorry Swan, truly I am. You know I'd do anything for Henry, I'd give my life in an instant were he in danger... but this ... it feels different."

She raised her hand passing light fingers over the furrowed brow, realizing suddenly why he had apologized. He was thinking of the ones she'd told him about. The foster parents who had used her as a placeholder until they had their own child.

"Killian it's alright. It's different for me too." He looked up and she smiled. "Henry's my whole world. I love him more than anything. And now Liam is my whole world too. They each have a part of my heart all their own, just as you do." She drew her fingers down the infants arm. "I think... holding a child for the first time is supposed to turn your world upside down. Every time. It doesn't make what you felt before any less true."

The relief on his face warmed her heart.

* * *

"Another story lad, are you not yet tired?"

"No," the boy yawned and Killian laid back down on the bed, glancing over at him. Liam's eyes were darker now, they'd shifted ever so slightly day by day from the bright blue he'd had as an infant to a clear green that now more closely mirrored his mother's.

"One more, but you have to promise to keep your eyes closed. Can you do that?"

"Why?"

"You won't get sleepy otherwise," Hook answered.

"What if it gets scary?"

"Why would it get scary? You know I'll never let anything happen to you. Promise me you'll keep your eyes closed and I'll tell you one more story."

"I promise," the boy said, clenching his eyes shut.

"Once upon a time there was a beautiful Princess."

"Was her name mommy?"

Killian chuckled. "No, her name was Swan. And she was the most beautiful Princess in all the lands."

"So it was mommy?"

"Indeed, but she didn't much like being called Princess at the time. The Princess and her mother were stolen away from their home by a magical portal and taken to a land far far away."

"So she could have adventures?"

"She wasn't much interested in having adventures. She just wanted to get home. But to do so she had to defeat a heartless sorceress and a dashing pirate."

"What does dashing mean?"

"Oh.. well it means... handsome and clever."

"I thought you were the pirate?"

"Bl- I am glad your mother didn't hear you say that. You'd keep her up all night with the laughing. Are you going to let me tell the story?"

Liam screwed up his nose and Killian chuckled. "The heartless Queen did some very bad things and then she left the pirate behind. To trick the Princess and figure out her plan. You see the sorceress and the pirate wanted to go to the Princess' home kingdom too"

"Why didn't they all go together?"

"Oh the Princess was much too clever to allow that, Liam. She wanted to protect her Kingdom from such deviants."

"What does deviants mean?"

"Well.. not very nice people."

"Why weren't you very nice people?"

"That, my lad, is a very long story and not one for bedtime. So... when the Princess discovered the pirate she didn't believe his made up story. She tied him to a tree and swore that she would leave him there if he didn't tell her the truth."

"Was it love at first sight?"

Killian laughed, and leaned back against the wall closing his eyes as he continued. "Not exactly. But the pirate realized that the Princess was very special, and that maybe he wanted to help her. Eventually he convinced the princess that they would make a good team, and she untied him from the tree. He led her to a giant beanstalk where they could find a magical compass to help them get back to her home. They climbed all the way up to the very top of the beanstalk. So high that you couldn't even see the ground anymore from the top. At the top was a courtyard, but it was guarded by a Giant. They had to work together to put the giant to sleep before they could search for their prize. Once they did, they went into a room, full of every treasure you can imagine. Gold and silver and gems... so much treasure that they had to search for the compass for a long time. They eventually found it, but the giant had woken up. The princess had to come up with a very clever plan to trap the giant so that he couldn't hurt them. Once she had the compass she was able to find her way home again... all the way back here to Storybrooke. The end. Sort of."

"I think he fell asleep as we were searching the treasure room."

Hook grinned and opened his eyes to see that his original listener was indeed fast asleep and Emma was watching him from the doorway. He sat up and tucked the covers in around Liam, giving him a kiss on the forehead before leaving his side. Emma flicked off the lights as Killian wrapped his arms around her.

"You missed a few details," she commented, leaning against him.

Killian chuckled, "artistic license."

* * *

The next night Killian told a high seas adventure tale.

A lone captain, with no crew outrunning a curse to return the lost Princess' memories. He told Liam of arriving in New York and searching the busy bustling city for a woman who he could only hope would still remember that her name was Emma Swan. With a memory potion in his pocket and a million schemes in his head he searched until one day he found her name on the door marker, and her yellow vessel outside. He'd stood outside for a long time, but finally he worked up the nerve to pound on the door.

"Alas, my Princess had no memories of our time together, no reason to think I was telling her the truth. It was a ... painful realization." he commented glancing at Emma with a half smile. "Without memories of her pirate, the Princess thought he intended to hurt her, and she had him locked up in a deep dark dungeon."

("Killian, really?")

"But somewhere... deep inside she knew that it wasn't right. Finally, she released him from his captivity and took a leap of faith. She drank the memory potion and returned home to her family once more...The end, somewhat."

* * *

When Emma was in charge of bedtime stories she told a different version. She told him of a fantastic trip through time trying to ensure a prince and princess got their happy ending. She told him about how she found Hook playing games in a tavern, but the moment she introduced herself he sent away all of his other companions. She spent the whole evening there talking and laughing with the pirate, while Killian was putting into motion their clever plan to fix the happy endings. (There was a great deal of artistic license...)

She told Liam of a grand ball and how she'd never really understood how incredible a ball could be until Killian taught her to dance. She told him of how the Princess cried when she thougt she'd never see her family again, but that in the end, good was victorious and they defeated the wicked curse, returning the realm to normal. She told him of how badly she had missed her family, and that she would never, ever leave them again.

"The end, kind of."

* * *

It was Henry, though, who told the best bedtime stories, and Liam always looked forward to the nights that Henry spent at their home. In the middle of the night Liam would crawl out of bed, sneak into Henry's room and bury himself under the covers, poking Henry with his elbow mercilessly until he woke.

"Story?" Liam asked.

"Go back to sleep, Liam," Henry muttered drowsily, rolling over.

"Please," Liam pleaded, jabbing Henry with his elbow again. "I can't sleep," he whispered furtively, "there's an ogre under my bed."

Henry laughed, "I don't think there's an ogre under your bed. They smell really bad, you'd know."

"Heeeenry-"

Henry rolled back over. "You know, if our parents catch us I'll get in trouble for keeping you up past your bedtime."

"I'll be really quiet," Liam promised, putting his finger over his lips and Henry ruffled his little brother's hair affectionately. ""Fine, fine stop poking me! _One_ story.

Once upon a time... there was a man who thought it was awfully unfair that villains always lose. This man, one day was given the power of a magical quill and entrusted to record the greatest of all stories. Eventually, he could no longer resist... and he decided that he was going to write something else. So instead of just recording the stories, he decided to change them. He wrote a story where all the villains could win and all the heroes would lose and he locked everyone inside his story. Everyone except one little boy... me."

"Why didn't you get locked into the story?"

"Because sometimes adults forget how important little kids can be. I followed my family into the story. But everything was all wrong. I tried to find Regina but she had no memory of me. She thought she was a bandit, a thief on the run, and she didn't believe me when I told her who I was. Grandma and Grampa were mean versions of themselves; evil rulers of the land, so I couldn't trust them. I had to find my other mom, your mom.

"Where was she?"

"Locked in a tall tower in the middle of a dangerous ocean."

"So couldn't daddy just sail to her?"

"He could... if he remembered her. So I went searching for him, finally finding him where I knew he would be, aboard the Jolly Roger."

"Did he remember you?"

"No, and what's worse he wasn't even captain of the ship. He had no idea how to sail, or do much of anything else. but he came with me anyway. I helped him steal back his ship and we made way for the island! When we arrived it was being guarded by a black knight, one of the Queens guards. I pretended to be a prisoner that Killian was bringing into the tower. We tricked the guard and locked them in a cell, and I ran to the top to release my mom. When we got to the bottom she ran right into him. By the time I finally managed to get them to stop staring at each other and get on the ship, the guard was waking up! We got out to see which might have been far enough... if the guard hadn't actually been a dragon!"

Liam gasped appropriately and Henry put his finger over his lips to remind him to be quiet.

"Did you fight the dragon?" Liam asked in admiration.

"Not that dragon no... See mom had been locked in that tower for a long time. She needed to do something fun. Can you imagine being stuck in a tower for years, Liam, with nothing to do?

Liam shook his head.

"So we'd defeated the dragon and rescued the princess, so that's the end of the story right?"

"Yes!" Liam answered excitedly.

"Oh no," Henry corrected, far from it. Because the Evil Queen and her henchmen were still searching for us. When we made port, the queen found us! She wanted to get rid of us all so that the author would win. She had with her her right hand, the best swordsman in all the realms as well as many other black guards! We were outnumbered with no way of escaping. Dad couldn't remember how to use a sword and I didn't know how to use one very well at the time myself. Even Mom had no magic, she couldn't defeat them all alone. So do you know what Killian did... He told mom to run, to keep me and herself safe. He fought all the kings guards and the Queens right hand, the best sword in all the realm. Even though he couldn't even remember how to hold a sword himself. You see, even though he didn't remember us... he was willing to do _anything _ to protect me and mom. Do you know what that means?"

Liam shook his head as Henry got up to take his brother back to his own room. "That means that you never have to be afraid of what's under the bed. Because your dad will do _anything _to keep you safe. So will mom, and me too. And our family... Our family is what the monsters are afraid of."

"The end?" Liam asked as Henry tucked him into his own bed.

"No, Lizm" Henry said, ruffling his hair again. "That story is never over. It just keeps going and going, as long as there's something interesting to tell."

* * *

_**Middle of the night writing. I apologize for any typos! **_

_**Can you imagine if CS ever have a child on screen and his name **_**isn't _Liam. Revolts in the street, I tell you. _**


	63. The Making of a Captain

_**Operation drown out the angst with fluff, reporting for duty.**_

**This time we've got adorkable deckhand killian. Written as a deleted scenes style story filling in some of the gaps in the CS timeline of the finale. Enjoy.**

* * *

_**The Making of a Captain**_

The lad might have warned him.

Whatever Killian thought he was getting himself into it certainly wasn't this. Really, who looks like _that _after so many years of captivity? The woman was stunning in a gown that hugged her body in all the places a gentleman was not supposed to look - so thank the bloody gods that he was a pirate. She was staring at him too, one hand on his chest frozen, gazing up at him in...joy... adoration even?

It must be wonderful to see another person after so many years alone.

"Killian this is my mom. Mom...Killian."

_The lad might have warned him. _Warned him that her eyes were bright and sparkling, that her hair was wild and beautiful and made him suddenly desperate to brush his fingers through-

He shook his head, trying to clear it, stammering something that even he couldn't understand.

_Pull yourself together sailor, _he chastised himself with another shake of his head.

"Pleasure," he finally got out, reaching out to take her hand. He almost kissed it, almost... but then she was pulling away muttering something about having to go. Henry followed instantly but Hook found his legs locked into the earth in stunned silence. Then the boy looked back at him and he snapped to attention, hurrying to follow someone who seemed to know what they were doing. There was a time where he wouldn't have followed someone just because they had a commanding air. He could almost recall... but that was before he'd crossed the light one. So many years ago now...

He'd been a cruel man once, a broken man after the death of Liam he'd sought solace in the arms of a woman that did not belong to him. She'd broken in her time as a captive aboard the Jolly Roger. Convinced herself that she was in love with Killian to make the trauma easier to bear. When he tired of her she took her own life rather than return to her husband. He hardly remembered the lass, and if it weren't for one too many beers one night at a pub and a drunken decision to tattoo her name onto his forearm he'd likely not have remembered the name at all.

When the light one finally found him, he was lucky to have survived. Rumpelstiltskin showed him mercy, taking only his hand as a reminder of the woman he'd destroyed. The hook had been Blackbeard's idea; a way for him to 'make himself useful.'

_Blackbeard. _

The name jolted Killian's memory and he shuddered. He was a dead man when Blackbeard woke to discover what he'd done. He should regret it, but with his eyes fixed on the woman leading the way from the castle, he couldn't bring himself to regret anything. They climbed aboard the Jolly Roger and made sail, the woman... _Emma_ helping the boy with the rigging as though she were a seasoned expert while Killian waited nervously by the helm.

"Killian," Emma called, "can't we go any faster?"

He gaped at her, "I'm... um. I'm sorry milady this is as fast as she goes without a full compliment of crew."

She raised her eyebrows, a half smile tugging at her lips as though she knew something that he didn't. She seemed to smile like that a lot. Hook looked up in surprise as she moved closer to speak with him.

"I bet you could coax some more speed out of her," she said, smile not faltering. "If you were properly motivated."

"Motivated?" he repeated.

Her face fell slightly, "You don't remember anything do you, Killian?"

"What should I remember?"

"You don't remember ... me? Anything?"

"I don't think I'd easily forget a lass as stunning as you-," he answered without thinking then his face flushed, "I mean...I'm... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"It's all right. I was just hoping- It's all right. Thank you for your help, Killian."

"Um, yeah, of course." he stammered. "I'm pleased you regained your... your freedom."

"Me too. Unfortunately, it's not gonna last unless we put some distance between that tower and us before the guard wakes up."

"Why?" He asked, glancing back at the shore. They were certainly too far away for a guard to swim out to them.

"Because that was not any ordinary black knight. Her name is Lily. She's dangerous."

"I don't understand. What's the problem with Lily?"

As though on cue the tower exploded and Killian ducked, watching in horror as a fully-grown dragon erupted from the tower.

"Henry, get below, now," Emma cried, immediately springing into action as Killian stared, dumbfounded at the looming threat. "I need you to load the cannon with a chain shot."

It took him a moment to realize that she was talking to him, and finally she yelled again: "Come on! Now! Hold your fire till I tell you!"

_Chainshot. Chainshot? _He stumbled around a bit, trying to remember what chainshot was and where Blackbeard kept the stuff. Eventually he found it and by now Emma was waving her arms frantically trying to get the dragon's attention. _Shouldn't they be trying to avoid the dragon's attention? _It suddenly occurred to him that there was a very real possibility that this woman was absolutely and utterly mad. When she gave the signal he fired with shaking fingers and the dragon tumbled into the sea.

"Cheers." He told her, taking out his flask, for lack of something else to do to settle his nerves then handing it to her. "You did it."

"We did it." She took a sip and winced "What is that?

"It's goat's milk," he replied and she scoffed.

"Where's your rum?" she asked, returning the flask.

"I'm allergic. Never touch the stuff."

"Of course you are," she said, giving him that look again. The one that made him think she knew something that he didn't. He watched her for a moment but she didn't seem as though she wished to say anything else. Finally he worked up the nerve to speak.

"Can I ask you a question?" She nodded and he continued, "You trusted me with your life just now. Why?"

There it was... that little half smile again. It was driving him mad. Every time he saw it the desire to decipher it amplified. Because her eyes were telling him that she knew him and she couldn't know him because how could he possibly forget someone like her...

"It's complicated... Might take a while," she finally answered.

"My schedule's pretty clear."

That made her laugh, her eyes lighting up beautifully. "Okay. Let's first work on your fighting skills. Then we've got to help Regina stop that wedding."

"Why am I going to need fighting skills?" he asked nervously.

"You don't think they're just going to let us break up a wedding without even raising a sword?" She turned away for a moment and called out for Henry who reappeared topside.

"So ... what the boy told me... it's true?" he asked.

"Yes... I mean ... I don't know exactly what he's told you but yes."

"You, both of you. You're from another world?"

"So are you, Killian," she informed him gently.

"And in this other world I'm ... different. I'm a captain-"

"A hell of a captain," Emma teased.

"And I'm not... I'm a... a soldier."

"I wouldn't exactly call you that. But you are a very skilled fighter. Where's your sword, by the way?"

"I don't... I don't carry a sword."

"Oh well we're going to have to fix that-" Henry was one step ahead of her though and he tossed a blade towards Killian. He backed up a step from the projectile but Emma reached out and caught the sword belt neatly.

"Why don't you go below and figure out what find of supplies we're working with, Henry?" Henry nodded and disappeared again as Emma examined the belt and blade. "Yes... this is yours. Do you remember it?"

"That's not mine," he said quickly. "That was hers... that woman"

"That woman?" Emma asked in surprise.

He glanced at the tattoo briefly to remind himself of her name. "Milah's." Emma's eyebrows furrowed and Killian hurried to continue, unsure why his comment had displeased her, but eager to restore her smile. "She was no one, just a captive we held once," he said reassuringly, but Emma's face just took on a more concerned expression.

"No one? If she was no one why do you wear her name?" Emma asked probingly.

"Too much beer one night," he informed her with a shrug. "I... don't hold my alcohol very well."

Emma was still watching him, shocked disbelief on her face. "He took everything from you didn't he?" she muttered.

She shook her head at the confusion on his face and returned her attention to the belt, opening the buckle. She smiled, a sudden brightness that Killian thought looked a touch forced. "Well..." she commented holding out the belt. "You're going to need this so you might as well get used to how it feels." She wrapped her arms around his waist, looping the belt around him and pulling him closer.

Killian swallowed hard, his mouth suddenly too dry and his eyes glued to her hands as she tightened the belt around his hips and buckled it snugly. "How does that feel?" she asked him teasingly, "at all... familiar?"

"I uh... I don't... perhaps um...thank you?"

Emma bit back a smile and nodded, smirking at the way her hands at his hips left him flustered and red.

"Too tight?" she asked, unbuckling it to loosen it again with a mischievous grin on her face. The red on Killian's cheeks spread to the tops of his ears.

"N- No..." he stammered. "That feels... perfect."

"I aim to please."

"You didn't answer my question," he said quietly. "Why do you trust me? I'm nothing but a pirate."

"You are a man of honor, Killian Jones."

His face fell as though the compliment had been a blow but then he looked up at her in surprise. "Jones?"

"That's your name isn't it?"

"That hasn't been my name for ... a long time. I gave up that name the day my brother died."

"Why would you do that?"

"I don't deserve that name. It's my fault Liam is-"

"Look at me," Emma interrupted abruptly, snapping him out of his dejection. "Whatever you think you did, it's not real. It's not your fault."

"With... with all due respect milady, I was there."

"This isn't real Killian, I know it feels-"

His face lit up suddenly and he broke in, "Liam...My brother. He's still alive in your world?"

The joy, the hope on his face cut Emma to the quick and Killian's face fell at the look on hers. "Ah... he's gone then. In your world as well. I trust that was my fault too."

"It wasn't," Emma said sternly.

"What became of him, in your world?"

"I-" Emma stopped, realizing abruptly that she'd never pressed him for the details. "I don't... know the details. But I know it wasn't your fault."

"I'm afraid you don't know me very well, Emma."

"Right now I know you better than you know yourself," she insisted. He didn't look up and she raised a hand to his cheek. "Do you believe that?"

He looked into her eyes for a moment, holding eye contact for longer than he'd managed to do before until the sound of Henry climbing back onto deck distracted him and he looked down. "Just because you believe something doesn't make it true," he muttered.

To his surprise she laughed, "That's a lot more annoying from this side." The boy, Henry, chuckled too and his mother shot him a look before looking back at Killian.

"Look, Killian, you've already helped enough. No one will think worse of you if we part ways at the next port. I understand we're acting pretty crazy and this is... it's going to be dangerous."

Before he knew what he was going he was shaking his head. "You may well be mad Emma but... I'll not abandon you. I will provide whatever assistance I am capable of in your journey."

"That's a hell of a risk to take for a mad woman and her possibly just as mad son," she pointed out in some surprise.

He smiled and scratched behind his ear, "don't remind me," he said with a sheepish smile. "How do our stores look, lad?" He asked, turning to Henry.

"Awful," Henry answered. "You told me there was supposed to be weeks of rations on board at any given time in case of storms. But there's nothing here?"

"Did I now? Not a bad idea, now that you mention it."

"You don't keep stores on board?" Henry asked disbelievingly and Killian raised his hands defensively. "Not my ship, lad."

"It's fine Henry," Emma said, "We'll pick up supplies when we reach port. Which should be..." she glanced nervously at Killian and her son, "does someone know where we're going?"

Henry pulled out a map from under his arm and handed it to Killian.

"It seems I do have some skills that are of use," Killian muttered taking the map and spreading it to check their heading. Once he'd finished evaluating the map he set Henry to the task of adjusting their heading two notches to port while Emma went below deck in search of another sword or dagger. Henry had no difficulty in making the adjustments necessary and Killian watched in amazement. Eventually he moved over to join the boy.

"You say... In this other world... I taught you this? Port and Starboard and the rigging..."

"You taught me a lot of things."

"So you're ... my first mate? Aren't you a little young for that posting?"

"Not... exactly. See in the other world my mom has magic. And sometimes, when bad things are happening that need magic, you take me away on the Jolly Roger."

"Away?"

"Away from... the villains. To keep me safe. I don't like it very much."

An unexpectedly crestfallen feeling bloomed in Killian's chest that he couldn't quite explain. "You don't like sailing with me, in your world?"

"You don't like it very much either. I mean not learning to sail... that part is great. But neither one of us likes leaving mom to deal with things while we sail off to safety. But she's the one with magic..." Killian watched the boy for a moment, his eyes flicking to Emma as she climbed back above deck and something finally clicked. The reason the boy had come to him for aid, the warmth in the woman's eyes when they met, the boy's ease at the helm...

_Is it possible... that somewhere in another world he had a family?_

He was pulled from his thoughts by Emma's voice. "What kind of pirate ship is this? Not a single sword dagger or cutlass anywhere!""

His hand immediately went to his sword belt, "You should take this one, love. I barely know how to hold the thing. I'll be little help in defending you should we come under attack."

"I can't take that Killian. That blade belongs to you... perhaps a familiar blade will jog a few memories." She smiled at him, "Don't worry, I'll confiscate one from someone in port."

"Speaking of which," Henry said with a grin, "LAND HO!" Emma laughed as Henry shrugged, "Too much?"

"Not at all, my boy," Killian replied, "you've sharp eyes."

They brought the ship into port without incident...Though Killian did trip over a hatch in the deck and Emma had to dig her fingernails into her palm to keep from laughing. Henry had no such restraint and Killian turned bright red for what must have been the twentieth time since they'd rescued her. She smiled to herself and almost kissed him. She restrained herself... the first time.

The second time he tripped on the same hatch even she couldn't prevent the light laughter as she pulled him to his feet. He tried to pull his hand from her grip, doubtless to scratch behind his ear again, but she didn't release him. With a grin she pulled him closer and kissed him abruptly, releasing his hand to wrap her arms around his neck. His hook instantly moved to her hip and his hand to her hair but then froze as though suddenly unsure if that was appropriate. She dropped one arm, pressing his hook and arm firmly around her waist. His fingers tangled into her hair instinctively and Emma smiled into the kiss.

_Some things never change. _

"It's so good to see you again, Killian," she whispered, releasing him with a last peck on his flaming cheek.

"That was-" he paused and Emma waited, curiosity getting the better of her as to how the sentence was supposed to end. But he stayed silent, his fingers drifting up to his lips as he watched her with a stunned expression.

"If you two are done," Henry called with an exasperated voice, "perhaps we should go save the world?"

Emma smiled and turned to Henry. "Right. Kid, you're on food acquisition. Killian and I are going to see if we can find out anything about this wedding."

Hook forced his hand from his lips, and took a deep breath to calm his racing heart as Emma and Henry hurried about tying up the ship and making ready for their excursion inland. His mind was such a jumble that he mostly stayed out of the way as they brought the ship into port. The taste of her lips, the press of her hips into his. That wasn't what a first kiss ... felt like. His eyes followed her in her preparations, dropping his gaze only when she looked over at him with a teasing smile. He'd been embarrassed the first time she caught his stare but then she'd shot a teasing smile his way and she seemed... pleased to see him so effected by her kiss.

And he was... devil take him, he was. He could hardly tear his eyes from her, and each time she caught his gaze he felt the overwhelming need to feel her back in his arms. To press her close, and kiss her senseless and ... he could feel his cheeks coloring again and he turned to face the port to hide the blush from her too perceptive gaze.

Emma reminded Henry to be careful for the tenth time as they parted ways on the dock, giving him strict orders to come back as soon as he'd found led them to a waterfront tavern, insisting that if anyone would be loose lipped with information about a bandits wedding, it must certainly be drunken sailors.

"Ease up, Jones," Emma told him teasingly, "You should feel right at home here!"

"I'm not much for taverns," he mumbled.

Emma grinned, "Why ever not?" she asked, the very picture of innocent curiosity. "A handsome man like you could certainly find pleasurable company here." She was rewarded with the bright red stain on his cheeks again and some mumbled words that she couldn't quite catch.

"What was that, Killian?"

"You're mocking me, love. Don't think I don't know it. I'm actually quite perceptive."

"Not mocking," Emma corrected, gently placing one hand on his shoulder as they settled at the bar; "teasing, perhaps. One of the first times I met you was in a place like this," she mused. "It was my job to keep you distracted."

"And how did you accomplish that?" he asked.

Emma glanced down at the neckline of her gown with a half-smile. Pulling her hair back, she fidgeted with the dress, dragging it down until it showed him a tantalizing hint of her bust underneath.

His jaw dropped. "What are you doing?"

"I'm sorry Killian," she said sweetly, "am I distracting you?"

"Something of the sort," he muttered and Emma grinned.

"Good. Because If I'm distracting you, I'll be distracting them too," she glanced around at the sailors around her, many of which were already glancing in her direction. "Let's find that wedding, shall we? Stay here where you can see the door and keep an eye out. I think I'll be more ... _distracting_ on my own."

She slipped into the crowd and Killian's stomach knotted as he watched her flit from group to group, laughing and teasing the men, throwing her hair back and ... he forced his eyes back to the doorway, trying to focus instead on the crowd. A few minutes later there was a crash and Killian jumped, glancing across the room for the source of the noise. Emma held a man's wrist in a vice grip, twisted behind his back. Killian pushed through the crowd towards her, arriving just in time to hear Emma mutter, "Thank you so much for your assistance," she gave his wrist one last twist and released him. She hurried past Killian, grabbing his arm on the way towards the back stairwell and dragging him along behind her. She hurried up the stairs, stopping at the first door, pulling a couple of pins from her hair and kneeling in front of it.

"What the bloody hell was that?"

"What happens when you touch without permission. He was much more talkative after I broke his wrist."

"You br-"

"It's probably just a sprain," she amended, dragging Killian into the room behind her. She instantly made for a dirty chest, digging through it in search of... something.

"What are you looking for?" he asked, hovering awkwardly behind her as she tossed clothing every which way.

"I can't very well go around in this dress. The man told me where the wedding is but a woman wearing a gown like this breaking wrists for information is bound to attract attention we don't want."

She pulled out several tunics, one of which looked clean enough, and discarded the rest. She hurried back into the hall and broke into the next room too where she found a pair of boots and a belt. It took three more rooms before she completed her ensemble by pulling out a blue vest that looked like it would fit her perfectly. She slipped the pair of breeches and boots on under her dress before turning back to him with a smile.

"Give me a hand with the laces?" she asked, turning her back to him and moving her hair out of the way.

"What?"

"The laces, Killian. I need to get changed and we're in something of a hurry."

"But lass-"

"Now is not the time to be a gentleman, Killian Jones."

"I'm al-"

"Yes, I know. Just rip it ... you and I both know you've always wanted to do that. And I don't think I'll be wearing this dress again."

He placed tentative fingers on her hip and moved his hook to the laces, slicing through the material with a satisfying rip. The dress pooled at her feet and his hand at her hip moved of it's own accord, sliding up the side of her waist until it met linen. A band of material wrapped snuggly around her breasts. _One more cut_, his mind whispered. _Such a little scrap of fabric.._. His hand continued upward, tracing the line of her shoulder and drifting down the back of her arm. He watched in fascination as goosebumps prickled across her skin.

"I- I'm sorry... Emma, that was-" he started in a choked whisper but she leaned back into him as he tried to retreat. He pressed forward again, slowly... experimentally and brushing her hair over her shoulder he pressed his lips to the side of her neck.

"Killian..." she whispered weakly, "we have to go..."

He nodded and pulled away reluctantly as she slipped into the pilfered tunic and vest, buckling the belt around her waist before turning to face him. Fortunately that had given him just enough time to calm his racing heart before looking at her again. To his surprise, he saw a touch of color on her cheeks as well. She led the way down a back staircase and into an alley towards the place they were to meet Henry.

"While we're waiting," Emma commented, "Perhaps I better teach you how to use that thing," she gestured to the blade at his belt.

Killian's fingers played over the hilt hesitantly and Emma felt herself flushing again, remembering those fingers tracing around her waist before Killian finally spoke, breaking her from her reverie. "You're telling me that... In this other reality, I'm an expert with such a weapon?"

"You're a regular Jack sparrow," she teased, grinning at the look of confusion that followed.

"Is that good?"

"Here. Let me show you how to use it." She moved behind him and reached across him to the hilt of the cutlass. She felt his breath hitch and smiled. _Two could play this game._ Her fingers laced through his and she drew his weapon, holding it steady and beginning to move the blade in several of the drills he had once taught her. "They say once you become an expert, your subconscious takes over," she murmured in her ear, and he leaned back into her. "Back in my world, that's what we call muscle memory." She sheathed his blade, but he'd long stopped paying any mind to the weapon. The only muscle memory that he could claim was the desire to push back towards her as she murmured softly in his ear.

"Tell me more about this reality you want to return to?" He asked hopefully. "Us, for example. I sense that we... we may be... close."

"Very."

"Really?" he let out a small chuckle at the thought that this woman, this beautiful strong woman could be... _close_ to him. "Well, I'm starting to get jealous of the other me."

Suddenly there was a cry and the alley was filled with soldiers. He hardly heard what was being said through the panic threatening to cloud his mind over. There were too many. Even were she armed she could never hope to defeat them all, not when her only aid came from an untrained deckhand. The situation was untenable... and then it got worse. Henry appeared in the alley bearing the food he'd been in search of.

Killian's mind was spinning, the blood pounding in his ears and his limbs trembling. There was no way out, he realized. Not for all of them. He glanced back once more at the terror on the boy's face and stepped forward, blade extended toward the soldiers.

"Save Henry," he told Emma, hoping like hell that his voice didn't tremble as much as his hand did.

"Killian, you can't beat them," she warned. But he already knew that, he'd come to the same conclusion the moment the soldiers entered the alley.

"If I can help return things to how they were meant to be, then what happens to me here won't matter, will it?" Emma hesitated and Killian continued, telling her the one thing he knew she could never refuse. "Now go. Save your boy." She hesitated a moment longer, concern and fear in her beautiful eyes. Then she turned and ran for the end of the alley where her son was waiting.

The next few moments were a blur to Killian. His hands shook and his voice trembled but somehow (... muscle memory, she'd told him...) What seemed like only an instant later the prince was down, blood dripping down his nose with his blade flung to the opposite side of the alley. Killian stared in wonderment at his cutlass feeling almost as though the thing had moved without his volition. He almost turned to see if Emma had seen, a childish impulse to show someone his accomplishment. But she was gone, of course. She had taken her son away. Just like had once been his responsibility in the world the lad described. Get the boy away from the villains...

Suddenly the Queen moved and he instantly leveled the blade at his new threat.

"What about you, your majesty? Shall I make quick work... "

His blade fell with a clatter to the cobblestone. Someone had punched him in the back and then there was no more air left to finish his threat despite his gasps for air. He heard a cry and his eyes drifted past the Queen to where Emma and her boy were standing.

_ Why is she still here? _

If the horror on her face was any indication... it must be bad. Emma took a step forward, then another. Her lips were moving but he couldn't hear anything over the rushing in his ears. His sword had fallen but still he reached for her. Desperate to tell her... something... _there was something she needed to know_... but his mind was clouding and he couldn't... couldn't remember...

_Why is she still here? _

_Run. _

_RUN!_

"I never did like pirates," a cold voice said behind him.

Finally the pain came, bursting through the stunned numbness with an icy fire that ripped its way through his back as the prince twisted his blade. Emma's face blurred, and his head buzzed as though he'd had too much to drink. White-hot agony burned its way through every nerve; from the center of his chest all the way out to fingers that were long gone. And then... just when it couldn't possibly hurt any more... The prince ripped the blade from his back with a twist and it took all the strength he had not to scream. But he had seen Emma's face, her pain...

Somehow with a blade in his back all he could think about was that she shouldn't have to see this. He wanted to kiss her softly, tell her that all would be well and see that beautiful smile. One last time...He closed his eyes against the pain, and took himself back to the Jolly Roger. To the joy on her face when they met, to their ease aboard the ship. His ship?

_It's so good to see you again, Killian._

_I had a good teacher... you..._

There were worse things to die for... then the hope of protecting one's family. _His_ family... and the desperate hope that there might be something worth more than his life... waiting on the other side. He felt ... cold... colder and colder, and he sagged against his murderer, legs no longer capable of supporting him. But _damn it all_, he didn't want to die alone. He forced his eyes open; both relieved and horrified that she... Emma was still there, still watching him. Her face was an open book of emotions; pain and horror, regret and fear. He kept his eyes fixed on Emma's blurred face from as the world darkened, unspoken words trapped on his lips...

_Run... please run...please..._

* * *

"RUN!" He awoke with a cry of mingled pain and terror.

He looked around, dumbfounded for a moment in the ... It was a kitchen... the Charming's kitchen. The Charming's were still inside the book apparently, because they didn't yet wake. Killian pushed himself off the floor with a grunt, making immediately for the stairs. Henry had been upstairs the last time he'd been in this kitchen. He checked the loft thoroughly for any signs of the boy before making his way back towards the stairs. He glanced down from the top and saw that the royals had awoken and were wrapped up so completely in each other that he hesitated to interrupt them.

That and he couldn't seem to help the pang of unease that came from seeing them again, even knowing that they hadn't been themselves anymore than he had. He pressed his hand to his chest, swearing that he could still feel the Prince's blade lodged in his back. The scorching agony of the twist of the blade, the helplessness as he fell; unable to do anything but watch Emma as the darkness closed in around him. A chill settled on Killian and a shudder rippled across his skin.

Suddenly the door crashed open. The Royals sprang apart as Emma hurried into the apartment, a look of panic on her features.

_Henry, _he thought instantly. _Something's happened to Henry. _

"Where is he? Where's Hook?"

"Uh, h-he was there... right before we got dragged away. Everyone reappeared where they were before this whole mess started."

"No," Emma whispered, staring dejectedly at the spot.

The look on her face nearly broke his heart and he hurried to get her attention, trying to think of something that would make her smile again. "Yeah, sorry about the mess. I really needed to find that book. I'm usually a bit tidier."

All three looked up to the top of the stairs and Killian couldn't resist a smirk at the relief on their faces. Emma's face lit up with joy and she ran up the stairs, tackling him with such a force that it knocked him backwards. She crashed down on top of him, lacing her fingers through his.

As he lay dying on the cobblestones all he wanted was for her to be safe, her and her boy, and to see her smile once more... He received all that and more. Her grin was bright enough to light up the darkest night; her giggle music to his ears as she clutched him tightly.

"How many times do I have to tell you, love?" he murmured, "I'm a survivor."

* * *

_**I'm sorry, some angst snuck in while I wasn't looking ... But you know... all's well that ends well. I'm going to pretend the episode ended there :P **_


	64. Out on the Town(1 of 2)- cowritten w LL

**_Hey everyone! Lynyrd Lionheart (lynyrdwrites on tumblr) and I finally decided to stop 'fighting' each other and do something together. So we turned our rambling tumblr head canons into a google doc and this happened. _**

**_This is part one of the cowritten story Out on the Town, and I'm sorry to admit that operation drown out the angst will be interrupted briefly with angst! Don't worry, part two is all... okay mostly... rainbow kisses and unicorn stickers._**

**_It will also be posted on LynyrdWrites tumblr blog._**

* * *

**Out on the town (part 1)**

"Surprisingly good at research," Killian grumbled to himself tossing another book across the room. Belle didn't even tell him to be careful anymore, just bent to pick up the discarded volume, brushing it off carefully and returning it to the shelf.

"You need to sleep, Killian," she commented hesitantly. "I'll call you if we find anything-"

Killian was barely listening though and with a sudden groan of frustration cleared the table of every single useless book. They tumble to the ground with a crash and Killian leaned back in his chair, eyes hidden by the hand that rubs endlessly across his forehead these days. His hair seemed in a permanently disheveled state and the dark circles under his eyes had nothing to do with kohl.

"I apologize," he muttered "There's nothing here and I just… "

"You're exhausted, Killian you need-"

"I'll sleep when she's back."

Belle nodded and glanced down at her phone, "David says he's got something. Wants to meet you at Granny's" Killian glanced down at the mess but Belle shook her head, "It's fine, Killian. I'll clean it up. Why don't you go-"

Killian is on his feet in an instant, halfway out the door before Belle could even finish. He arrived at Granny's and the place was nearly empty. No one was even behind the counter but there was a single patron in the back corner. It was David, and Killian hurried over to him.

"What is it?" he asked, sliding into the booth across from him.

Charming looked up at him in confusion "What… Mary Margaret told me _you_ had something?"

They both came to the same conclusion simultaneously, standing and turning towards the door just as a ripple of magic came down over it. There was a gust of purple smoke and Regina appeared in the room with Mary Margaret .

"What is this," Killian demanded. "What are you doing?"

"Snow?" Charming asked, somewhat more gently.

"You need to sleep," she told him, "Both of you. You're killing yourselves. Charming, you can't keep pretending everything is fine."

"Of course it's not fine," he responded, "it won't be fine until she's back and I'm not resting until we have something-."

"One night," Mary Margaret said firmly, "Granny prepared rooms for you upstairs, I'd prefer if you just get some sleep, but you can do whatever you like. Yell, drink too much, cry, I don't care what you do but you are both going to stay in this bed and breakfast until Regina's spell wears off at eight tomorrow morning."

"Snow, please-"

David's plea went unanswered, and Regina's purple smoke filled the room once more.

"You know what mate," Killian grumbled. "I wasn't talking about the midwife."

Charming looked over at him in confusion as Killian made his way to the bar. "Your wife _is_ a bit controlling."

"She means well," David muttered, but he was clearly not thrilled with the situation either.

Their meeting in the diner like this wasn't exactly a first. Granny knew how little sleep both were getting these days. She'd even taken to leaving the diner unlocked in the middle of the night with a pot of coffee on the warmer, waiting for the late night visits from her exhausted patrons. However, she didn't normally have rum readily available, so the bottle and two glasses that were sitting on the bar top waiting for them was a welcome novelty.

Killian poured himself a glass, offering one to the prince. David shook his head with an annoyed expression., "Feel free to get uselessly intoxicated, pirate, I'm going to find a way out of here. You know… actually do something to find my daughter."

Charming made his way to the front door, testing it first by jiggling the knob and then hitting it hard with his shoulder several times.

"Pick your battles, majesty," Hook commented without turning around. "If Regina has locked this place down we're hardly going to break our way out by force of will alone." Charming rolled his eyes and made his way upstairs. Killian could hear doors slamming and grunts of frustration from the top of the stairs before finally he exploded back into the diner, face red with exertion.

"Give me some of that swill," David growled, sitting down hard on the stool. Killian passed him an already full glass and David sipped it experimentally. "This really is terrible," he grumbled, taking another sip anyway. They drank in silence, the only sound to be heard that of their glasses clinking when they set them on the counter for refills. Killian tossed his back like the seasoned drinker that he was, downing two for every one that the prince managed to choke back, but somehow they ended up in the same state of inebriation.

"What did you say to her" David asked abruptly when his head grew fuzzy enough that talking suddenly seemed like a good idea. "You spoke to her right before. You could have stopped her."

Killian tightened his fingers around the glass and didn't respond.

"We could have found another way."

"Before Regina had the life choked out of her?" Killian asked.

"Someone else could have done it," David grumbled, glancing sideways at Killian, "We could have tethered it to anyone. It shouldn't have been her. She deserves better."

"Aye."

"Is that all you're going to say? _Aye_?"

"What do you want me to say, mate? That it should have been anyone but her? That it should have been me? I'm not going to argue with you."

"I didn't mean…"

"Of course you did. And you're right. It should have been me. I've been doing my damndest to get my name onto that blade for … It should have been me."

The silence stretched out and when it finally became too much to bear David spoke up again, "I had nightmares about this, you know. We lost her once before. I put her in that wardrobe. I kissed her and sent her away, but then she came back to us. She came back and it wasn't easy but we became a _family_. But I still had nightmares about this. Losing her again. I never thought they would come true."

His laugh was bitter and Killian poured him another drink before topping off his own. He tapped his glass against David's in a half-hearted toast before speaking.

"My nightmares were always losing Milah. Night after night reliving the worst day of my existence. The first night I dreamed of Emma I knew I was bloody lost... And now…"

He trailed off and threw back the rest of his glass. David tapped his against the counter contemplatively, watching the pirate who looked far too tired and… _old_. In the time he had known Killian Jones, David had never thought of him as that - _old_, even though he knew he was. But in that moment, with red rimmed eyes that spoke of centuries of grief, David could believe him to be every one of his two hundred years.

"Now?" he prompted when Killian just stared at his empty glass blankly.

"The worst nights it's her lad's heart that she takes. She always breaks free of the darkness for a moment after his heart is dust. To hold her boy and... ask me why I let her-" He broke off for a moment, his eyes fixed on the countertop and David wasn't entirely certain he remembered that he had an audience. "I always see her break before she takes my heart too."

David swallowed, his throat suddenly dry, and he forced more of the rum down. He had been so focused on simply _finding_ Emma, that he had never quite allowed himself to think of what they would do once they found her. That once she was home… it wouldn't change the name written on that dagger.

_Emma Swan._

He couldn't think about what exactly that would mean, and now that he tried… he found he didn't know. For all his dealings with Rumplestiltskin, it wasn't until Storybrooke that David had finally understood exactly how dark the Dark One could be. But sitting next to him was a man that knew far too well.

"What should we expect?" he asked carefully, not entirely certain if he was ready for the answer.

Killian didn't say anything, but his shoulders tensed and he seemed to fold in on himself. His eyes looked a hundred miles away, and David wondered if he was thinking of the day so many years ago that had set him down the path that led him here. To where the woman he loved had become the very thing he hated most. Killian took a moment to refill the glasses before answering.

"Before he became the Dark One, the Crocodile was a coward," Killian replied at last, tapping his glass on the counter once more, and David realized it was a sign of nervousness. Killian's hand was so tight on his glass that David briefly wondered if he was aiming to shatter it. When the facade dropped away, Charming discovered that the pirate was terrified, and trying desperately not to be so. "Emma… Swan is no coward, Dave. She won't bow to this as easily as Rumplestiltskin did."

Maybe they were empty words mouthed to soothe both their fears, but David found that it worked anyway. Killian was right; Emma was not a coward, and she had every reason in the world to fight off the darkness. She was no village spinner, motivated by desperation and fear. She had powers of her own. Powers she _would_ use to come back to them.

David refused to believe anything else.

"You couldn't have stopped her," Charming murmured, "I shouldn't have said that. I was just-"

"Why not? Why couldn't it have been me?" Killian interrupted.

"She's the savior," David responded and Killian's hand crashed back down to the counter, a crack appearing in the clear glass.

"She'll come back to us," David said, the alcohol making him sound a bit more confident than he felt. "Do you believe that?"

Killian eyed his half empty glass for a moment, swirling the liquid around absentmindedly until it began to bead up on the other side of the crack.

"It's the only reason I haven't been like this every moment of every day since that night," he admitted, emptying the glass again.

David didn't say anything, contemplating the pirate, and their glasses for a moment. Both were empty now, and he considered reaching and taking the bottle once more, pouring another drink and another until he knew nothing but dark oblivion. But Killian hadn't fallen into his flask, and part of David had worried he might. Perhaps working himself to exhaustion wasn't healthy either, but it was a hell of a lot easier on the liver… Emma was still out there somewhere, and so long as her name adorned that blade, they had something to fight for.

David grabbed the bottle and got unsteadily to his feet. Killian watched him walk around the counter but didn't say a word, not even when he tipped the bottle upside down, pouring what was left down the sink.

"Snow and Regina are right," he said looking at the pirate once the bottle was empty. "Working ourselves to exhaustion, that won't help her. But this won't either."

"No," Killian agreed resignedly. "I suppose it was foolish, to turn to the bott-"

"But it helped me," David cut him off, before Killian could finish what was sure to be some self-recriminating statement. The dark haired man looked taken aback, blinking with confusion. David walked back around the counter and clapped him on the shoulder. "So thank you. For having a drink with me."

"Aye," Killian replied. His voice was a bit hoarse, surprise clear in his eyes. He cleared his throat. "Aye. Thank you as well, even if you are something of a lightweight."

David might have argued, except the world picked just that moment to spin, and he stumbled instead. Killian caught his arm with a chuckle and wrapped it around his shoulders, helping David to support weight that suddenly seemed too much for his legs to carry.

"Easy there, mate," he said with a shake of his head. "Let's get you up to that bed your wife mentioned."

"Yeah," David agreed. They made their way slowly up the stairs, and he cleared his throat. "Uh… if we could maybe not mention this to Snow?"

"I imagine your hangover will give you away, but she'll not learn of it from me."

The pirate was probably right, but David would appreciate his silence regardless.


	65. Out on the Town (cowritten w LL)

**_Hey everyone! Lynyrd Lionheart (lynyrdwrites on tumblr) and I finally decided to stop 'fighting' each other and do something together. So we turned our rambling tumblr head canons into a google doc and this happened. _****_This is part two of the cowritten story Out on the Town, operation drown out the angst with fluff is back! _****_It will also be posted on LynyrdWrites tumblr blog._**

* * *

**Out on the Town (Part 2 - fluffyness abounds)**

"I suppose if you don't think you can hold your alco-"

"Really? I have a son who is just starting to walk, a job at the Sheriff's station and constant tourists with villainous tendencies trying to destroy this town.. I do _not_ have time for-"

"Actually," Mary Margaret interrupted, "Emma and I are watching Princess Bride tonight and Neal is tired out from playing dragon slayer with Lily all day. You're of course welcome to st-"

"What time, pirate?"

The last time they had done this… well, it had been far darker times. This time they weren't both half falling over from exhaustion, nor were they locked by magic in Granny's. The Rabbit Hole was, in fact, a far better location for a _guy's night out _as Emma called it. Charming almost backed out at the last moment, but when Emma had shown up at their door her eyes alight with amusement at the thought of her father and boyfriend hanging out, David hadn't been able to refuse. Too often her eyes were dark with memories of her time as the Dark One, and if this was something that sent that darkness away, even if just for a few minutes… well, David would do it.

"Ah, the man of the hour!" The pirate welcomed him with an overly cheerful smirk and a wave of his hand, almost hitting Leroy with the dart he held there, causing the shorter man to curse rather loudly. "Ah, my apologies, Master Dwarf."

"You started without me," David noted, dropping his coat over the back of a chair and grabbing the dart from Killian's hand before he could poke someone's eye out. "That's rather unsporting of you."

"I thought it only fair. Even the playing field, if you will. I know how poorly you hold your liquor."

David rolled his eyes at that and took aim at the target. He winced when it just barely caught the outside edge of the target, and Killian laughed boisterously and clapped him on the shoulder.

"And you have an aim to match! Clearly your daughter got her accuracy from _Her_ Majesty."

"Say that again when I have a sword in my hand, pirate."

Killian lifted his hands in faux surrender and took a step back.

"No thanks, Dave. I've experienced your proficiency with a blade first hand" - he gave a dramatic wince and touched his chest, as though to cover a wound, and David rolled his eyes at the motion - "I've no desire to experience it again."

"Always about the backstabbing." David turned the pirate toward the bar and gave him a slight push forward. "Come on, I'll buy you another rum. Make up for my _bad form_ or whatever it is you call it."

"In the _back,_ Dave! That's bloody bad form if I've ever seen it."

"You're going to have to let it go one of these days, Hook." David informed him, signalling to the bartender, "I wasn't exactly under my own volition."

Killian shrugged his acceptance, "Aye, but if I blame your wife, I'm certain to die again. _She_ has impeccable accuracy over an impressive distance. This time it might stick."

"I was referring to Isaac," David clarified, nodding as the bartender delivered the next round.

"Course you were," Killian nodded, pulling out his flask and pouring some of it into Charming's already full glass. "Bottom's up, majesty. You'll need at least two more of these before you become fun."

"I'm not drinking two more of these… it's still swill. And I'm plenty fun."

"Fine, pick your own poison mate, but get to it. Because glaring at your rum is _not _fun."

"Of and you're the resident expert on fun, are you?" Charming asked, swallowing the drink and shuddering. He turned to the bartender and ordered something more to his taste. Killian scoffed of course, when he saw that it came mixed with Pepsi, but David shrugged, and tossed it back, the rum going down far smoother when it was mixed with something else.

It only took two more drinks for David to 'catch up' to Killian and another two to decide that if he were playing darts on a team with his wife then he would certainly have a better chance of winning. He called Mary Margaret and (after some preamble) finally managed to make her understand that she had to come and play couple's darts with him and 'show the pirate who's the fun one.' Of course, Killian thought this was a wonderful idea, because if Her Majesty was coming down, then she would likely bring her daughter. Although hearing Killian call her 'Emma-my-Love' made David groan in an over-the-top fashion and dig his elbow into the pirate's ribs, drawing forth curses that actually make David's brow raise.

"I really hope you don't kiss my daughter with that mouth," he commented, and when Killian smirked, he paused to consider what he had just said. "Actually, forget that. I never said that. I don't want to know."

"Well then, I suppose it's a good thing that I'm not the type to kiss and tell, isn't it?"

David groaned, because somehow he knew that was going to be the pirate's response.

"Somehow that's never seemed to stop you from public displays of affection."

"Would you prefer if I didn't treat your daughter like the stunning, incredible woman she is? Killian grumbled. "Tell Emma she has to come," Killian said loudly in the direction of the phone, reminding Charming that he was in fact still holding the device.

"Snow?" Charming asked and then looked at the phone dumbstruck. "I think she hung up on me."

"Let me try Emma." Killian pulled out his phone and pressed the Emma button.

The call went to voicemail and Killian looked up in surprise, "She didn't answer either."

"They might be in trouble… We should go check on them," Charming said firmly and Killian nodded his agreement.

It took them several times longer to reach the loft than it should have, and required a detour by the sheriff's station to get their swords, but somehow they managed to make it there without falling into the street and getting hit by a car. They took a moment to regroup outside the door before Charming slammed through it. Both of them rushed forward, swords drawn, into the room.

"What the hell are you doing!" Emma cried hurriedly lowering her gun, "I could have killed you!"

"It's a dashing rescue," Killian told her, scanning the room for whatever had kept her from picking up her phone.

"From the dread pirate Roberts? " she joked with a grin but Killian's eyes widened. "Where? Face me craven!" he cried, circling the room in search of the threat. Emma hopped up off the couch, easily taking Killian's cutlass from him.

"I think I better hold onto this," she told him, "in case he comes back." Mary Margaret did the same thing, easily relieving David of both his gun and his sword.

"I think perhaps you two ought to call it a night?" Snow suggested questioningly.

David shook his head. "It's still early, and I'm the fun one."

Emma raised an eyebrow at her father, and turned to Killian, "You're not going to make me arrest you both for drunk and disorderly are you?"

"I'm most orderly, love. Very orderly."

"Why don't you boys go for a sail, to clear your heads," Emma suggested and Killian laughed.

"And let your father take a drunken swim? I think not, love."

"Good answer," Emma replied and lowered her voice, "you may want to switch him over to plain soda, Killian."

Killian chuckled, "Already did. your father's a lightweight," he whispered. Or at least he tried to whisper, but all he really accomplished was to speak normally while leaning towards her.

"GIVE ME BACK MY SWORD, SNOW!" Charming cried and Snow shook her head.

"Not a chance."

"He impugns my honor, Snow," Charming practically whined.

"I know sweetheart," Snow murmured, biting back a grin, "he's terrible. You be the bigger man ok?"

"Hear that pirate, I'm gonna be the bigger man."

Killian smirked and opened his mouth but Emma clapped her palm over it before he could speak.

"OK… Unlike you, I'm going to remember this tomorrow so whatever was about to come out of that filthy mouth of yours save it for when you're back at the Rabbit Hole."

He kissed her palm and she removed her hand. "Never heard any complaints about my mouth before," he smirked, as she gave him a slight push towards the door.

"OUT!" Emma said, "Come back in a couple hours after you've sobered up a bit ok?"

"I'll always come back, my love."

Her gaze softened, and she gave him a kiss on the cheek. Charming chose just that moment to come crashing towards them though, grabbing Killian by the arm and tugging him towards the door.

"We have things to do, pirate. I think. We should go do the things."

Emma shut the door behind them, shaking her head in amusement. "That was… interesting."

Snow was barely containing her laughter. "Maybe we shouldn't have let them go back out there."

"How much trouble could they really cause," Emma reasoned and a flicker of worry passed over her face. She shook her head. "Killian's got two hundred years of drunken nights under his belt. I'm sure they'll be fine."

Killian had tried to cut Charming off some time ago, but the bartender seemed more inclined to take the orders of the Prince than the pirate. And, as it turned out, Charming got progressively more affectionate as his alcohol intake increased.

"She's gorgeous on horseback," David mumbled into his empty glass. (Killian had snagged it when it was delivered, drinking it himself several minutes ago and the Prince had yet to notice.) "Have you ever seen Snow on horseback?"

Killian rolled his eyes, he could think of several things he'd rather be doing than listening to Prince - bloody - Charming pontificate endlessly about his true love.

"Just stab me again, mate" Killian grumbled, "At least that was over quickly."

"Joooooones…" David groaned in frustration, throwing one arm over the pirate's shoulders. "Stop being so depressing, Jones. I thought you were supposed to be the fun one?"

"Put your arm on me one more time and I'll cut it off and you'll have to learn to stab people in the back with the other hand."

"Tonight is supposed to be about not being depressing and- okay, okay. Put down the knife. I'll remove my arm. Party pooper. Fine." Charming knocked back what was in fact still an empty glass and slammed it back to the table. "Let's go do something fun. What do you do for fun?"

"Nothing I'm likely to do with you, mate."

"Ok, what _else _do you do for fun. When you're out with the other pirates. Besides sing sea shanties and steal and cheat at stuff."

Killian raised an eyebrow in amusement and in idea occurred to him that was sure to take the wind from the Prince's sails.

"Have you ever gotten a tattoo, your majesty?"

Charming looked taken aback… "_That's_ what you do for fun? Stick yourself with needles?"

"It's not for everyone mate, can be quite painful. Not everyone can take it-"

"I want one."

Killian chuckled, "doubt that."

"I do, let's do it. You too. We'll see who can take it better!" Charming got to his feet, trying to pull Killian up but only managing to lose his balance and nearly fall over. "I know the owner, I'll give them a call. Special favor. I am the Prince you know."

When they arrived at the little shop Killian expected the Prince to back out at the last minute. But he was quite insistent. Snow's name, is what he wanted, and a snowflake… someplace only she would see it.

About three minutes into the procedure however when the artist had barely started the curve of the S in her name Charming changed his mind, wincing exaggeratedly. "Snow's name is awfully long" he grumbled, "You know what, I want a hook, so I remember who to blame for this tomorrow."

Killian nearly choked on the pull from his flask, biting his lip hard to keep from laughing.

"Perhaps I ought to give myself a fond memory of you as well, my prince." He glanced over at the artist, "you ever seen a blade wound?"

The man nodded silently, eyebrows knit in confusion but he relaxed when he realized that the comment was not a threat but a suggestion. Killian peeled off his shirt and turned to the artist. Right in the middle of my back. Bloody as you please."

When David realized what Killian planned, he rolled his eyes and glared at the pirate, who merely gave him an innocent smile.

"Really?" the prince asked, and Killian shrugged.

"Something to remember you by."

David grumbled and and stalked around as the tattoo artist prepared his needle. He stole Killian's flask and took another drink, thankful for the chance to get some more alcohol in his system before finishing his own.

"Might as well do this right." Charming said, "It's not right in the middle. It's a little off center… yeah, right there."

It took far longer than it probably should, but the prince, it turned out, was very detail oriented. He also no longer complained about Killian's _swill_, and by the time it was his turn to lie down to finish his own tattoo, Killian almost worried he would pass out on the table.

David didn't, but he may have cried a tear or two (not that he would _ever_ admit to it).

Somehow they both make it back at the loft, nearly three hours later. Charming with a significantly altered gait and one arm around Killian's shoulders. Killian half dragged him into the apartment and dropped him down onto his bed with a grin that made Emma incredibly nervous.

"What is so funny, Killian," she asked, arms crossed as Mary Margaret shut the door to their bedroom.

"Not my tale to tell, my dear. Ask your father in the morning." He had clearly held up better under the evening's activities than her father but he too swayed on his feet almost imperceptibly, and almost missed the stool at the breakfast bar when he tried to sit.

"You didn't break into anything?"

"No."

"Steal anything?"

"No, Swan."

"Is anything on fire?"

"Really, love?"

"That wasn't a no."

"No, Swan, there is nothing ablaze but my love for you. And that is entirely your fault." Emma rolled her eyes, and he grabbed her hand, pulling her closer. "Shall I tell you again? How your golden hair is my north star?"

"You know Hook, when most people are this drunk they go with 'you're pretty.' "

"Pretty? Such a common word, my love. A wildflower is pretty, a sunset is pretty. A fresh coat of paint on the Jolly is pretty. But none of them take your breath away with their radiance. None of them seem to recenter the entirety of the spinning world onto their person-"

"Spinning, eh? Do you need a bucket?"

"No. Maybe. No. Definitely no."

Emma shook her head, pulling away to do over to the sink. She poured a large glass of water and set it in front of him.

"Drink."

"You know this isn't my first night out. I do know how to handle myself."

"I'm sure you do. Now drink it, Killian."

He did so but then pushed to his feet. "I should get back to the Jolly."

"There's no way I'm letting you walk up that gangplank on your own. Falling in would be the most anticlimactic way to go-" She took his arm and helped him to the door, muttering to herself that she really, _really, _needed to get her own place.

Killian talked to her about the stars on their way back to the docks, though Emma was about 97% sure that he was making it all up as she went along. That certainty increased to 100% when he showed her the beanstalk and the swan constellations next to what he claimed was a pirate ship in the stars.

She kept her arm tight around them as they boarded the ship but he'd surprisingly sure steps on the gangplank and down the ladder to his cabin. A couple hundred years of practice apparently.

By the time she got to the bottom of the ladder he was out cold, curled up on his bunk and snoring softly.

* * *

Emma didn't expect to see either him or her father until mid afternoon, but to her surprise Killian dropped by, bright and early as usual for breakfast with Emma Henry and Snow.

"How's our Prince?" he asked, louder than necessary. There was a groan from the other room and Killian grinned, "that bad eh? Better go check on him." He waltzed back towards the sound of groaning and poked his head in. "Good morning, your majesty, ready for breakfast?" Killian ducked out of the room again a moment later, slamming the door as something crashed against the other side. Mary Margaret glared at Killian and Emma tried not to laugh.

Her mother did not seem amused though and to Emma's surprise she glared at him whenever they were in the same room for three days. When Emma finally asked her what was the matter David spoke up hurriedly that everything was fine, while Snow just continued to glare. Finally Emma cornered Hook on the Jolly Roger one day while her parents were at lunch with Henry.

"Spill?"

"What is it?" Killian asked.

"You know what. My mother has barely looked at you without a scowl for three days. What did you do?"

"Oh it was hardly my doing. I suspect that she was not pleased with one of her Prince's more questionable drunken decisions."

"Tell me what you did, Hook or I swear to-"

"Your father may have decided to get a tattoo."

Emma stared at him in stunned silence. "Prince Charming… got a tattoo. That's what this is about? Why would she be mad at you for that, drunk or not it was his idea."

"I think it's likely the content of the tattoo that she finds objectionable."

"Killian?"

"It's a hook, love."

"You're not serious? Where did he put it? I didn't see- Oh God..."

"Yes, indeed."

"Please tell me that you don't have my father's name tattooed on your ass, pirate."

Killian licked his lips, his eyes shining with mirth, "Would you like to check?"

"Killian Jones you did _NOT_ tattoo my father's name onto your skin!"

"Not exactly, but I could hardly let him get his first ink alone, now could I?"

Emma turned bright red in mortification, but Killian just laughed, pulling his tunic over his head and turning his back towards her. There, bright on his back, skin still slightly inflamed, was a graphically detailed entry wound, complete with scarlet blood and torn skin. Emma's jaw dropped in horror, the design so realistic that she reached for him, touching the skin lightly to reassure herself that he was intact.

Killian turned at her touch, an amused smile on his face that dropped instantly when he saw her. Her eyes were wide and rapidly filling with tears.

"Swan? Emma, love, are you alright?"

"Why would you do that?" she whispered.

"I thought it might be amusing, but also-"

"Amusing?" She blinked away the tears and anger took their place, "this is not… this is not funny Killian!" Her voice shook and he stepped towards her automatically, wrapping his arms around her and rubbing her back soothingly. She was shaking and he could feel hot tears on his chest but she pressed her face into him to hide them from his view.

"I'm sorry, my love. I didn't think… Shhhh, I'm so sorry."

She pulled away abruptly glaring up at him. "Perhaps I should get one of the dark one's dagger with my name on it? How'd you like to remember that every time you see me?"

"Swan, sweetheart I didn't intend for this to cause you pain."

"How did you _think_ I would respond? You have the wound that killed you in front of me inked onto your skin. A permanent reminder that I almost lost you."

"But you didn't," he whispered, wiping her tears away with his thumb. "It's a reminder that you didn't. Listen to me, Swan," he pulled away briefly and held out his forearm for her inspection; Milah's name, the heart and the dagger. "This nearly killed me. But it didn't. I survived and now it serves as a reminder, not only of what I've lost but that I survived it."

He drew her attention higher on his arm to where there was a sextant, golden but for where vines that she now recognized as dreamshade twisted around the metal. "This one is Liam's" he told her softly "and this," he drew his fingers to a compass that adorned his chest. "This one is yours."

"Mine?"

"After we were separated at the town line," he clarified. "Every one is a reminder, not only of loss, but of survival and in your case…" he kissed her softly "of finding you again. A compass, love. For our past, but also for our future." He stepped away and turned around again, allowing her to see the image of the blade wound once more. "This one… it needn't remind you of loss or pain. It can remind you that I will always come back to you, no matter how dark things seem."

He felt Emma's fingers drift over the skin, and then her palm pressed against it for a moment, before finally she wrapped her arms around him from behind and pressed her cheek into his back.

"I love you," she murmured, her breath warm against his skin. It wasn't the first time she had said it, not even since she had come back to them, but as it did every time, the words made his heart skip a beat. "I love you."

"And I you, Swan," he replied resting his hand over hers and squeezing them. "If you wish, I've no doubt you could remove it with your magic. I would not protest."

Emma didn't say anything for a long moment, just stood quietly, her arms wrapped tightly around him. Finally, she pulled back, and he felt her fingers trace the wound once more.

"Leave it," she said at last. "Although… did you _have_ to get it so detailed?"

Killian chuckled and turned around to face her once more, cupping her cheek and resting his forehead against hers.

"I'm afraid that once your father realized what I meant to do, he was quite insistent. Said that I couldn't get, and I quote 'a half done job, because if you plan on using this against me forever, it had better show my damn proficiency.' I'm afraid your father is a bit of a cusser, when he's been drinking."

"I want to try something," she told him softly, moving around behind him again. "Can I?"

"Of course, love. Whatever you wish."

He felt her hands brush over his skin again, and a coolness as though she were touching him with something metallic. She looked over her work with smile. Where there had once been an open wound, there were now signs of healing. The skin beginning to stitch itself back together. He'd never have a real scar from the injury, but she found this much easier to look at. Evidence of healing. A true reminder of what he'd survived. She waved her hands and a small mirror appeared in the hands and she held it up so he could see it.

He turned to take her in his arms again pressing his lips to the top of her head. "You're amazing, my love. Have I told you that today?"

Emma rolled her eyes and chuckled, but the pain that had painted her features earlier was gone, and in the end, that was all that Killian really wanted.

* * *

_**HAPPY captain charming friday. Leave a review, (and be sure to check out Lynyrd Lionheart here on FF!... Be careful though. Lynyrd crushes hearts for fun. :P)**_


	66. Rigger

_**Rigger**_

**_ For scapeartist's birthday – the theme was CS and animals that aren't dogs! It's short and late but I hope it makes you smile anyway. _**

* * *

When Emma arrived at the Jolly Roger, Killian was halfway up the rigging and cursing loudly enough that Granny would likely be impressed with the language all the way back at the diner.

"Killian-" she called, but before she could finish her inquiry he lunged, grasping something she couldn't quite see before beginning a precarious decent using only his hook to keep his balance. When he got closer she saw that he held a tiny kitten, hissing and sputtering, grasped securely by the scruff of its neck. When they'd almost reached the deck it managed to dig it's back claws into his forearm and Killian cursed again. He toppled back off the rope ladder, landing with a heavy thud on the deck, the animal still clutched firmly in his grip.

Emma hurried over but Killian didn't stand, instead letting out a groan and holding the cat over him to look up at it. It's claws had left several tiny red marks on his arm and he glared up at it..

"That's some gratitude you ridiculous creature. Fine! Next time get yourself down!"

He released the kitten who scampered a few feet away then stopped abruptly, turned around twice and proceeded to take a bath.

Emma knelt and extended her hand, which earned her a brief tap with its nose before it went back to cleaning itself thoroughly.

"Killian… You have a kitten?" she asked, helping him to sit up.

"I have no such thing, it keeps getting trapped up in the rigging, if it had any sense it wouldn't climb somewhere it couldn't get down from."

"It's precious," Emma said in delight, reaching towards it again.

"It has a taste for blood," Killian grumbled as the kitten delicately cleaned its back claws.

"Don't tell me Captain Hook is afraid of a tiny kitten!?"

"Hardly," Killian scoffed, "but I can't let that little demon tear holes in my sheets now can I?"

"What's his name?"

"Vermin," Killian retorted, rubbing the scratches irately.

The kitten stood up and stretched, moved over to Emma, and plopped down next to her, rolling over onto his back and purring loudly. .

"No you're not," Emma murmured. "Don't worry we'll come up with a perfect name for you!" The kitten turned and gave Killian what could only be a mocking flick of his tail before scampering off the vessel.

"Good riddance," Killian grumbled.

* * *

But it wasn't good riddance.

When Killian and Emma returned from lunch at Granny's, Killian almost instantly turned his glare upwards again. The kitten was back, perched contently three quarters of the way up his rigging.

"Infernal creature," Killian growled.

"He's not doing any harm, Killian," Emma chided, laying a gentle hand on his arm to keep him from stalking forward.

"Fine," Killian grumbled, "that's the last time I climb up after it when it gets stuck."

"I'm going to call him captain!" Emma commented abruptly with a grin.

Killian's jaw dropped. "Wh- You're going to call him what?"

"Come here, captain." Emma called. The cat's ears pricked up and he made his way down the ropes with surprising ease. "Look how obedient a little captain he is."

"Do you think the tiny captain likes to swim, Swan?" Killian growled.

* * *

Emma called the kitten Captain for three days, thoroughly enjoying how Killian's eyes narrowed and darkened when he heard the name pass her lips. But even he couldn't help but be taken in by the kitten's charms eventually. By the third day Emma caught Killian tossing scraps of fish across the deck for him to chase when he thought she wasn't looking.

They quickly realized the cat was not actually stuck up in the rigging at all. In fact, whenever Killian brought him down it was only a matter of minutes before he had found his way back up to the top again.

"Rigger," Killian finally commented to Emma as he watched the cat scamper up into the rigging again. "Since he seems so determined to recheck my rigging every few minutes, he might as well have the position."

"Are you sure you don't like captain?" Emma teased and Killian smirked at her. "The Jolly has but one Captain, love. And I'm most certainly his senior officer."

* * *

_**If you follow me on tumblr check it out there ( gusenitsaa : yes, I changed it ) because there is an adorable picture of a kitten climbing rigging that you must see!**_


	67. The Gala

_A gala._

Because apparently that's what they do in the Enchanted Forest when a 'lost Princess' returns.

Emma sighed and looked over her shoulder at the full length dress her mother had helped her to pick out . She'd put her foot down on the subject of wearing anything… poofy, because she fully intended to not trip over herself tonight. And black and red were most definitely out because… well she'd had quite enough of red and black in recent days …

Belle had offered Rumple's ballroom for the occasion (because of course he had a ballroom), but Gold could hardly complain after everything they'd had to do to bring him back.

"Emma, honey, are you ok?" Snow asked gently.

Emma nodded distractedly.

"I know it's been… it's been a lot but… we just want you to enjoy yourself tonight." Emma threw her hair into a ponytail and Snow toyed with the end from behind her. "Would you mind if I… could I do something with your hair?"

"Is there something wrong with it?" Emma asked, eyebrows raised.

"No, honey. I'm sorry. I just always wanted… I know it's not really your first ball anymore but I…"

"I'd like that," Emma broke in.

Snow grinned brightly and pulled out the ponytail, brushing through her daughter's hair with light fingers.

Emma closed her eyes as her mother expertly tied her hair into what felt like some sort of braid with a practiced quickness. When Emma opened her eyes again her earlier refusal of a tiara had become irrelevant. A crown of braids circled her head and was tucked neatly in at the end with bobby pins. The shock must have shown on her face because Snow's smile dropped.

"Too much?"

"No it's… it's beautiful I'm just not used to… Thanks, mom."

As always Snow beamed at the title, stepping back from the chair to let Emma rise. Emma hurried to grab her purse and her mother smiled, "We have plenty of time Emma, no rush."

"I thought it started at 7?"

"Not for Royalty," Snow grinned, "we get to make an entrance."

Emma's stomach dropped slightly but she nodded, waiting anxiously as her mother moved unhurriedly to tidy up the room. Dave was waiting for them at the bottom of the stairs when they descended. He kissed his wife gently when she reached him. "You look beautiful, Snow." He turned sparkling eyes to Emma leaning conspiratorially towards her. "Blink twice if you're under duress?" he muttered under his breath as he kissed her forehead. Snow's elbow found his ribs and he laughed, "Kidding, mostly."

* * *

They must have made quite the scene, Full formalwear squeezed into David's truck but as always her parents managed to make grace look effortless. Leroy had taken up a position at the entrance, announcing people as they entered.

"Her Royal Highness, Princess Emma of the Enchanted Forest", Leroy cried and Emma froze. R_oyal high-_

She felt a hand at her back and her father chuckled in her ear. "That's you, Emma."

She took a couple faltering steps forward, her eyes searching the faces, all watching her. She could feel panic and an urge to run swelling up in her throat. Finally she locked eyes with Killian in the crowd, watching her like she was the most beautiful sight he'd seen in 300 years.

She almost stumbled again though, because the leather was gone… The low V of his suit jacket was a familiar echo of his normal attire but for once he wore a crisp white dress shirt underneath. She grinned when she saw that he'd popped a couple more buttons on the shirt than was … strictly speaking, appropriate for such a formal event. The tightness in her chest relaxed slightly. Leroy announced her parents behind her but Killian's eyes didn't shift, watching her with a slight smile as she hurried towards him. When she reached his side she froze again, wondering if she was supposed to do… something… but Killian stepped forward, taking her hand and pressing his lips to it with a graceful bow. "Your royal highness," he said, tone formal and eyes dancing.

His eyes slipped downwards as he rose and his eyebrows went up. Her dress was a shimmering sea green with a ruffled texture on the corset that looked like whitecaps to his eyes. The deep V of the neckline was covered with a sheer fabric that managed to conceal everything and nothing at the same time.

"Eyes up, pirate, I'm armed under this dress," she teased him with a smile. "You like it?"

"Stunning. As always, love, absolutely stunning."

"You don't look so bad yourself, Killian."

"Your father assured me that this is the… the height of fashion. Though he did try to trick me into wearing some brightly colored choking device around my neck. I saw right through that cruel jest, of course."

"You mean a tie?"

"Aye, that's the one. Bloody nuisance."

Emma shook her head and Killian's hand slipped to the small of her back, "if you would, love?"

"Where are we going?"

"I wish to dance with my Princess, of course, before anyone gets any funny ideas about stealing you away. You still remember the rule, love?"

"Sure but… David is dancing with my mother right now."

Killian grumbled incoherently something about a 'bloody ponce' and tightened his arm around her waist. Emma smiled and leaned in, kissing him quickly and bringing a smile to his face. "I think I've picked the right partner," she whispered.

He led her out to the dance floor, the slight pressure of his fingers at her back leading her effortlessly in the steps.

"You've been practicing," he commented.

"I thought I was a natural?" she teased, not quite willing to admit that there may have been one … or two sessions with her father in the living room between her last ball and this one.

"Perhaps so, but you seem more at ease this evening."

"Yes well, if I make the wrong step this time I won't likely cease to exist!"

She lost track of time as they moved to the music until she saw her father over Killian's shoulder. Killian acquiesced to his silent request to cut in, kissing Emma's cheek lightly before taking his leave. To his surprise no sooner had he left Emma's side than Snow took his arm dragging him right back out to the dance floor.

"You know Killian, it's quite rude to keep my daughter all to yourself all evening. A gentleman would at least offer her mother one dance."

"Of course, milady, my apologies. You look lovely, your majesty."

"I know. And you look very handsome yourself."

"Quite dashing wouldn't you say?"

"Careful Killian, I'm a married woman."

"He's a lucky man."

"Nice save. Are you aware, Hook, that you left your new leather jacket at our apartment when you changed there earlier today?"

"Ah… I was a touch distracted by the choking device your husband was inflicting on me."

"And are you aware that you left something in your jacket pocket of a very intriguing size and shape."

Confusion colored his face for a moment and then horror, "Oh-"

"Oh, indeed. I'm not aware of a jeweler in Storybrooke-"

"It um… it belonged to my mother," he admitted, coloring slightly.

Snow nodded, "And when, pray tell, were you going to ask our permission?" Killian almost stumbled, catching himself but she noted the discomfort in his movements.

"With… with all… due respect milady.. I'm…I'm a bit more concerned with her permission than anything else."

Snow smiled, "Good answer, pirate. How about our _blessing_?"

"I'd like that, milady."

She pulled away and tugged him off the dance floor. She pulled a small black pouch from her purse and handed it to him. It disappeared into his own pocket instantly. "Let me put it this way, Killian. I may have a small wager with my husband. I know you're planning on taking her on a walk to the docks."

"That predictable, am I?"

"Oh quite. Now my husband doesn't think you'll make it there. He thinks you'll ask her before you even get there."

"Are you asking me to skew the odds in your favor, milady?"

"I didn't say that… exactly. And Killian?"

"Aye?"

"Looks like Scarlet is moving to cut in-" Snow hadn't seen Hook move quite that fast in some time.

* * *

**a/n : This came from an anonymous prompt on tumblr! I have hiatus writer's block, so thanks for the idea! **


	68. The Gala 2 of 2

**Apparently the implied fluffiness wasn't enough for you people. Everyone flooded my inbox with requests for more fluff... all the fluff. So take this LYNYRD. DROWN OUT THE ANGST WITH FLUFF IS BACK!**_**God it's so fluffy I'm almost embarrassed. But you know what, I'm not feeling that great and I needed some mindless fluff so YAY. **_

* * *

_"Let me put it this way, Killian. I may have a small wager with my husband. I know you're planning on taking her on a walk to the docks."_

_"That predictable, am I?"_

_"Oh quite. Now my husband doesn't think you'll make it there. He thinks you'll ask her before you even get there."_

_"Are you asking me to skew the odds in your favor, milady?"_

_"I didn't say that… exactly. And Killian?"_

_"Aye?"_

_"Looks like Scarlet is moving to cut in-" Snow hadn't seen Hook move quite that fast in some time._

Killian cut off Scarlet just in time, which was probably fortunate for Emma's toes because the look in the thief's eyes said he was probably just interested in irritating the Sheriff while she was in heels too tall to chase after him. (If only he knew...)

Killian kissed Emma's hand as Charming left with a knowing smirk that the pirate did his best to ignore.

"My hero," Emma teased as he wrapped his arm around her again.

"I do try."

"You just don't like Will."

"Oh he's well enough, been good for Belle at least. I don't think he's ever forgiven me for knocking him out against a wall during that shattered spell nonsense, though."

"Did you ever apologize?"

"Course not Swan, it was bloody brilliant. He just ran... straight at the wall, even without a heart I could take some pleasure in that!"

"How long do these things normally go?" Emma asked, rolling her eyes.

"Until the royal family leaves, generally."

"That's hardly fair, if I have a headache the whole party comes to an end?"

"Certainly not, love. If your _parents_ get a ... headache, then the party relocates to a location that serves more alcohol. Do you have a headache?"

She grinned, "I think I've had enough of Princessing...Do I have to say yes to get you to take me somewhere more private? "

He shook his head, biting back a smile as she led him away from the dance floor, slipping through the crowd easily until they reached the doorway. He reached out and grabbed her arm holding her back for a moment so he could open the door for her. "Princesses don't open their own doors, love," he teased as she rolled her eyes.

Once outside she slipped her arm through his, letting him lead her towards the docks. She knew where they were going, of course, where else? The docks gave them both a sense of comfort and belonging and they'd spent many hours there over the past few months both on their own while she was tied to the dagger, and together once she'd returned.

"This princess could blow the door open before you even got there, then what would you do?"

"Be forever grateful that I have not yet managed to offend you so much as the door did."

She poked him in the ribs and he shrugged innocently. "What did you think of the Gala, Swan?"

"It was beautiful. My mother did a wonderful job with everything."

He nodded but his lips formed a tense line, "What _else_ did you think of the Gala?"

They walked in silence for a while listening to the approaching sound of the water as she considered his words. "It was a beautiful show." Her smile fell slightly as she glanced sideways at him, "I can put on a pretty dress, Killian, but I'm not ... I'm not _really_ a princess. This is their world... it's not mine. It's never _been_ mine."

"It can be. They want to give you that world, Swan. The one you should have had."

They settled on a bench next to the water and Killian wrapped his arm around her. She kicked pebbles into the water with her sparkling shoes, headless of the scuffs the stones left behind.

"They're celebrating my return and just... just trying to pretend that I didn't... Killian, the things I did before you brought me home... I didn't think I was capable of such things." Her shoulders drew inward and he tightened his arm around her.

"We've all done things we regret, Swan. You know the taste of darkness now. I won't lie to you. You'll never stop wondering if that darkness is still there. You'll live wondering if it's simmering just below the surface waiting to escape."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" she asked with a halfhearted chuckle.

It's _supposed_ to show you that I understand. And I'm hardly the only one who does. Regina... bloody hell does that woman know... even your parents. The darkness is seductive but there's a bitterness to it. And now you'll fight it just that much more, for your boy, for your family and for me. Just as I do."

"And if I lose?" He opened his mouth to argue but she cut him off. "I've been thinking about it. Regina can do it, she can bind my magic. I managed to protect the town before I could control mine, right... then I won't be so much of a threat."

"Is that truly what you want?" he asked eyes watching her intensely until she looked away. She glared out over the water and shrugged, kicking another stone further still.

"We'll speak with Regina tomorrow, then," he said quietly.

Emma stiffened and looked back at him in surprise.

"What you're not going to argue?" Emma asked.

"What would I say?" there was a small smile playing over his lips that was incongruous with his words and she glared at him.

"That you've yet to see me fail? That my magic is a part of me? That it helped me save Henry, and this town. That it's potential for good outweighs the bad..."

"You know I believe all that. All that and more."

Her eyes narrowed again, "then why don't you _say_ that." She kicked off her shoes and pulled her feet up onto the bench wrapping her arms around her knees as she glared at the water.

"Because you already know I believe that," he replied with a twinkle in his eyes. "But I think you're more likely to accept the argument from yourself than from me."

"You don't want me to get rid of it?"

"Of course, I don't want you to get rid of it." He told her, interlacing his fingers with hers. "But it's not for any of those reasons, true as they may be." Emma raised an eyebrow and Killian continued, "I don't want you to sacrifice your magic for the fear that you can't control the darkness. Because I _know_ that you can."

Emma sighed and leaned into him, settling her head on his shoulder. "How can you always be so certain?"

"Because I know you. Better then you know yourself, remember? And you're not alone, sweetheart. You never have to do this alone."

"Do you remember when you taught me to Waltz?"

"Course lass," she turned toward him and kissed him lightly, smiling as she felt his hand move to her hair, as it always did.

"I'm glad I have a partner who knows what he's doing," she said. He smiled and kissed her again, slow and lazy, reveling in the rare moment without distraction. When he pulled away she laughed and shook her head. "You know I'm going to say yes, right?"

He pulled away slightly to look down at her, taken aback.

She flushed pink suddenly and glanced down, "I saw you talking with my mother and..."

"Bloody hell, love, must you beat me to everything of import?" he asked, a look of mock indignation on his face.

Her flush faded and she shrugged innocently. He stood suddenly and pulled her to her feet.

"What are you doing?"

"This of all things, love. This, I _insist_ on doing properly. Or as properly as I can without going to your father with a herd of goats."

"Does properly mean I have to put on my shoes" Emma teased and his eyes sparkled with laughter and one corner of his mouth twitched as he tried to remain serious. Dropping to one knee he took her hand, eyes daring her to interrupt. "Emma, love, would you do me the honor of-"

"Yes."

Unable to contain his smile any longer, even for the sake of decorum he just shook his head, kissing her hand lightly before slipping the ring onto her finger. She dragged him up by the collar of his jacket pulling him into a kiss that made her knees weak and her head spin, almost as though she'd had too much to drink.

"It's about bloody time," she teased and Killian's sudden laughter surprised even her.

"Wasn't that funny," Emma commented with raised eyebrows. "What is it, what's so funny?"

"Nothing love, I just realized your parents both owe Ruby money."

* * *

_***throws fluff confetti* **_


	69. CS Drabble Challenge 2k15 (1)

_**So mryddinwilt introduced me to drabbles on tumblr, the challenge being to tell a story or a scene in **_**exactly**_** 100 words. If you follow my tumblr you may have seen these already if not... enjoy. CS feels, 100 words at a time**_

* * *

**Really?**

"Would you really have left me tied to that tree to die, Swan?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Come now love, surely we've reached the point in our – now do try not to flinch… I'm going to say it-" Emma grinned and he continued, "You ready? Nice and slow love, you'll like it."

"Killian!"

"-the point in our _relationship_ where I get to know such things?"

Emma wrapped her fingers around his hook with a sly smile.

"Would you have killed me on that beach?"

"You know the answer to that one already," Killian pointed out.

"Perhaps you do too."

* * *

**_True North_**

_Port ↥ Starboard_

It isn't running away. It's victory. Everything he always wanted. Everything he was still capable of wanting… It isn't retreat if you've won.

The royals would attempt their noble plan, their self-sacrificial folly. They would fail and go out in glorious martyrdom.

_Look out for yourself and you'll never get hurt._

She should know better. She would learn, that Swan girl, in the moments before the end. Look out for yourself because no one else will.

The arrow is mockingly straight.

Always so sure; so absolute.

And it is pointing the wrong bloody way.

_Port ↥ Starboard_

* * *

_**Not this time** (this one actually served as a self-written prompt for the oneshot by the same name!)_

_She's been here._

Emma makes her excuses and asks Killian to wait for her in the diner. In a few minutes her lock picks have granted her access to his rooms upstairs. She steals a scarf from his closet and hurries back down the stairs. With butterflies in her stomach she peeks into a window. Killian still waits at their booth, calmly sipping his coffee.

With a few whispered words of a locator spell, the scarf begins to glow.

It tugs at her insistently… away from the diner. Away from the man in the booth.

_Not again. _

_Not this time._

* * *

**Call and response **_(because we all know they need a way of telling whose heartless in this town)_

"Quarterdeck!"

"Really, Killian? It has to be something that we could bring up without raising suspicions."

"Like the onion rings test?"

"Sure… but everyone knows that."

"Something that only you and I know?"

"Yes."

"That wouldn't be easy for others to learn?"

"Yes."

"Like that delicious sound you make when I kiss you just above your collar bone-"

"Ye… what… no!"

"Why not?" Killian asked innocently as Emma flushed pink. "No one else will know how beautifully responsive you are in that particular spot."

"Killian this is serious."

"I'm being quite serious…. In fact, I think we should practice. Frequently."

* * *

**Not this time** (didn't actually realize I reused that title until just now)

His hand is pressed to her heart and he can feel its pounding in his fingertips. He can't quite hear what words are forming on desperate lips. Except please. _Please_ no.

Not like_ this._

Not like _her_.

But his plea is trapped inside his head and she says the words anyway. The words he'd been telling her ever since he discovered them in the jungles of Neverland.

_I love you._

He's yearned to hear them passing her lips; but now they mean something else. They mean she's afraid this is the end

But it's not the end.

Not this time.

* * *

**Will you still love me?**

Will you still love me then?

You thought me beautiful once. Now darkness resides just beneath the surface. Once bright eyes are clouded, their laughter replaced by cruelty. People look away from the ice in their depths. But who can call me unjust? Their crimes stare back at them through my eyes. Once forgiven, they now reemerge in bitterness.

Passion is one more tool for manipulation now. My love is a possession. It does not give but only takes. Takes until there is nothing left to take.

When I no longer _want_ your love, Will you still love me then?

* * *

_**Thanks for reading. Drop by my blog (gusenitsaa) and say hi sometime, and visit ouatdrabbles for more 100 word drabbles. **_


	70. Haunted

_**Spoilers (kind of) Not really but if you're trying to avoid anything remotely related to spoiler photos then stop here! **_

_**Another joint venture by myself and lynyrdwrites. Enjoy. And by Enjoy I mean suffer and say thank you. Because lynyrd is involved in this so you know it's probably going to hurt *casually blames cowriter for the pain***_

* * *

He'd thought she'd looked stunning in red but now she is standing in front of him, radiant in a gown of purest white. And it is nothing… _nothing_ next to the radiance of her smile.

He offers her a pink rose in silence, not trusting his voice for the first time in centuries.

"Killian… Did you take this from someone's garden?" she teases.

"Of course I did, love."

"Pirate."

"You love it."

"I love you."

She holds out her hand and he bows, kissing it softly with a sparkle in his eyes. "You look breathtaking, my love, utterly breathtaking." She pulls him up with a grin slipping her arms around his neck and tugging him down, so she can press her lips against his. He is more than willing, letting her mold their bodies together and reveling in the warmth of her against him. He closes his eyes and pulls her even closer, desperate for contact, angling his head to allow even better access.

When they finally break apart, they are both breathing deeply, their eyes glittering with the passion that always simmers just beneath the surface. He swoops down once more, kissing her again, until something solid hits his back, making him stumble, and they nearly fall to the ground. Somehow, Killian manages to stop their descent, and he looks over his shoulder at the damn beast that thought to interrupt them with a disgruntled look.

"So tell me Killian," Emma says, glancing nervously at the horse that looked far too smug for a creature that shouldn't actually know what smug was, "where exactly does a sailor learn to ride a horse?"

"Don't tell me you're afraid of horses, love. What are such creatures to a lass that's bested ogres?" He unties the reins from a tree branch, "It's quite easy, once you get the feel for it." He mounts easily and holds his hook for her to take, removing his foot from one stirrup so she could use it to climb behind him.

"One smooth movement love, don't hesitate," he suggests. She climbs up, slipping her arms around his waist to balance herself.

"If we're going to make a grand exit I should probably work on not falling off while we're moving. Don't go too fast, ok?"

"It gets easier as you move faster. Trust me, sweetheart, I won't let you fall."

She leans in close, tightening her arms around him and placing a soft kiss on the top of his ear.

"But you did…. Killian," she whispers, "We could have had all of this and more, but you let me down." She pulls away and leans her cheek against the back of his shoulder. And then she is falling. He tries to grab her but she only slips further away. His hook tears a gash in her dress and scarlet blood stains the white cloth. She hit the ground with a thud, dirt and mud mingling with the blood on her once pristine dress.

_It's not real. _The words scream in his head as he threw himself from the horse paying no mind as the beast gallops away.

_It's not real. How did I get here?_

He had tried to summon her with a dagger that felt so very strange in his palm; a dagger he had spent decades searching for. It felt wrong. It looked wrong. The finality, the hopelessness of her name etched in cold metal.

He kneels beside Emma in the mud, trying to stop the bleeding, trying to ignore the wave of memories fighting their way to the surface.

_It's not real._

He had gone to the Rabbit Hole, Dave at his side, because the Prince didn't want to leave him alone. Dave said some things that were probably supposed to be comforting, something about love and loss and fighting, but hell if he could remember more than that.

Emma reaches up and brushes her fingers along his jaw, an echo of another time long ago making his heart clench. "This was never going to be our life," she whispers. "White dresses and pink roses? Really?" She chuckles and reaches for his hand gripping it by the wrist and holding his muddy, bloody hand up for him to see. "We're fire, Hook. We're passion and pain and anger and _fighting_ for what we want because _no_ _one_ will give it to you."

"It doesn't have to be that way," he murmurs. "Not anymore."

"When did you get so soft?" she taunts, releasing his hand in annoyance. It returns to her side instantly, trying to slow the flow of blood. She takes no notice of his efforts, her voice strengthening in spite of the wound. "You were a thing of beauty once, Hook. Determined. Driven. Relentless. _Nothing_ stood in your way. Not witches or ogres or naive librarians."

He winces and she rolls her eyes.

"Hook may be a survivor but Killian, he's weak." A dagger appears in her hand, so very familiar with its jagged blade and the name written that shouldn't be there - _Emma Swan_. Seeing that his gaze has frozen on the knife, Emma contemplates it as well. "Do you know what happens to the weak?" she asks.

He opens his mouth to respond, but she doesn't let him get the words out. It's amazing, how easily the blade slides between his ribs. He clutches at her arms, can all but feel the blood filling his lungs as their blood mingles together in the grass - "They die, _love_," she says mockingly.

Her name forms on his lips but the words don't come. After so long, so very long, he's certain that this is his end. The pain certainly _feels_ like the end, and he closes his eyes, pretending that it's his Emma holding him in his final moments, not the dark caricature she's become.

But the end never comes. Instead, the world beyond his eyelids brightens, and slowly he opens them, confused when the pain disappears.

He's in a meadow and the white dress is gone, the mud is gone. The blood is gone. And she's there, sitting up and watching him with a small smile curving her lips, She moves closer, and leans her head against his shoulder, looking out at the greenery that surrounds them.

""It's pretty here, isn't it?" she asks abruptly, as he reaches out with his hand to curl a golden lock of her hair around his finger. It's warm and coarse against his skin, and God if it doesn't seem so _real, _like it's _her _again. "I always wondered why everyone kept going on and on about the Enchanted Forest, especially since my experiences there weren't all _good_, but it is beautiful."

"This isn't… You disappeared," he murmurs, leaning down to press his nose into her hair, and breathing in her comforting scent.. "You sacrificed yourself, and I lost you. You said-"

_I love you_, he finishes in his head, but he can't bear to say the words out loud. Not now. Not until she's home.

"What happened there doesn't matter anymore," she replies, moving to face him on her knees. She reaches out and cups his cheeks, and when she pulls him toward her, he acquiesces, seeking her like a desperate man to water. "All that matters is here and now."

"Where are you, Swan? I called you. I summoned it, you didn't-"

"I'm here now."

She _is_ here, in his arms. He can't argue; not when here and now means that she's pressing her lips to his, and the kiss is sweeter than any they've ever shared. She slants her mouth over his, and he lets himself fall back on the grass, pulling her down with him. But before his eyes could drift shut, they meet hers. There is something hidden in the green depths he loves so dearly. Something that isn't Emma. He pulls back from her, though it is difficult to get too much space, sprawled on the grass as they were.

"What's wrong?" she asks, and the tone of voice is light, even her gaze looks more concerned than anything else… but there is something wrong in the way she touches him, when she reaches out to smooth the hair off his forehead and run her hand down his cheek. It's not _his_ Swan…

"This isn't what you wanted, Emma." he says finally. "You asked us to save you…"

"No one saves me but me, remember," she murmurs, pressing her lips to his throat. "With this power, I don't have to be afraid of losing you anymore. Of losing anyone," She nips at his Adam's apple and his brain goes fuzzy, grasping for the flaw in her logic that was entirely beyond his reach when her lips touched his skin. "I never have to worry that Rumplestiltskin will kill you while I have my back turned, or that some evil witch will seek vengeance from my parents. None of them could possibly be a match for _me_. No one will dare take what's mine."

She's working her way down the V of his shirt, pressing kisses to his collarbone; but that undercurrent to her voice, that possessiveness, he's heard it before. It's how the Crocodile once spoke to Milah. The memories of what came next give him the strength to gently push her back, to force some distance between them.

He's already lost Milah to the Dark One. He'll be damned before he loses Emma too.

"Where are you, Emma?" he repeats, and the use of her first name makes her eyes narrow slightly.

"Why does it matter?" For a moment he isn't sure how to respond. _How could it not matter? _

"I can't stay here, sweetheart, I need to find you. This isn't real..."

Wind rustles through the grass, and a sky that had been blue just moments before becomes overcast. He looks up with alarm, then she begins to speak, drawing his gaze back to her.

"Why can't you just _accept_ this? We're together, we can touch" - she reaches out, her fingers touching his, and her magic sparks, making him recoil, because it's not the white magic he's used to, but something grey and tainted - "or is it really _The Savior_ that you're looking for? The fearsome Hook. A villain desiring a creature of pure light to drive out the darkness from your heart? Now that I'm no longer that, you don't want me?"

Her face, the beautiful face has twisted into something dark, as ugly as the accusations she throws at him. She gets to her feet, looming over him. He tries to stand too, but finds that his limbs have grown heavy, weighing him down and keeping him on the grass.

"Swan, what are you doing?" he asks, and for the first time, he fears the power at her fingertips.

She doesn't seem to hear him. She paces a few steps away, running her hands through blonde hair gone wild in the wind that whips through the meadow. She whirls back toward him and meets his gaze. Whatever she sees there makes her pause and close her eyes, taking a deep breath.

"You don't understand," she says at last, taking another breath, and the wind begins to calm. "Of course you don't understand. You couldn't. But that's okay. You will."

She comes back to him, kneeling in front of him once more, cupping his face.

"Listen to me, Killian, I want you to go to the loft. In the drawer beside my bed there's something you should see. The scarf you gave me the first time I was here, I still have it."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because you need to understand. This is everything I've always wanted. This _is_ rea-"

The calls of seabirds broke incongruously into the meadow, growing louder until with a sudden start his eyes snapped open. He was in his cabin, the grey pre-dawn light just creeping in through the window. The dagger was still cool in his palm, despite his white knuckled grip. It seemed to grow even colder until he was forced to release it and it clattered to the floor. His breath came in quick uneven gasps as he shifted his legs to hang off the bed, clenching the edge of the cot. Finally, he stood and reached for the blade again. The cold had dissipated and he held it tight to control the shaking of his hand.

"Emma... Swan, please… please, come back to me?"

The only sound was the calls of the seabirds, fighting shrilly over their morning catch.

* * *

He pounded hard on the door of the loft, uncaring that the sun had barely risen. He struck the door again and again until a weary looking David finally opened the door. There were dark circles under his eyes and Killian realized there was a good chance he hadn't yet slept. David didn't ask what he was doing, just opened the door and stepped aside. Killian sprinted to the stairs, rushing up into her room. There was a chest next to her bed and he pulled it open, rummaging through jeans and socks.

David had made it to the top of the stairs and looked on in shock.

"Hook, what are you-"

Killian ignored him, slamming the drawer and opening the next. Finally in the back of the bottom drawer he found it, a familiar bit of fabric. It no longer smelled of rum but faded bloodstains still marked the material. Clenching it tight he sank onto Emma's bed.

"Hook? Hook? Hey, Killian, look at me."

Killian finally looked up and saw the worry in David's eyes. There were footsteps on the stairs and Snow made her way into the room looking just as weary as her husband. Her presence seemed to snap him out of it for a moment and he glanced around.

"I apologize for my intrusion at this hour."

To his surprise, Snow sat down on the bed next to him. "You're welcome here anytime, Killian. You know that. Now more than ever."

"Then... I apologize for the mess," he amended, waving his hook at the pulled out drawers.

"Bad dreams?" David asked. "Snow and I haven't done much sleeping either…"

"I… I shouldn't know this is here. If it was just a dream then how, how is this here?"

Their confused looks alerted him that he wasn't making any sense and he shut his eyes taking a deep breath. Suddenly he didn't want to explain any further. Didn't want to have to tell David and Snow about the ice in her eyes and the anger in her voice. He couldn't bear to say those things aloud...

"I … I'm afraid I'm a bit… out of sorts. I am sorry you had to see that. I should go."

Snow put her hand over his, silently asking about the fabric he held clenched there. He released his grip and she looked it over, her eyes widening when she recognized it. She handed it back to him and glanced at Charming, an unspoken conversation passing between them.

"You're not going anywhere," she said after a moment. He glanced up in surprise and looked on the verge of arguing when Snow continued. "Please, Killian. Stay. None of us should be alone."

It appeared more order than request, so he simply nodded. Snow smiled and stood. "I have to go feed Neal. Feel free to get a couple hours of sleep. I'll make pancakes when you wake."

He wouldn't sleep. He knew that, and she likely did to, but as the Charmings retreated back down the stairs he fell back onto Emma's bed. With the dagger in a hilt at his belt and the scarf clenched in his good hand he watched unseeing as the sun brightened the windows of her room.

"Good morning, love." he whispered.

* * *

**I**_** had nothing to do with it. Blame lynyrd. **_

_**(Also I'm a liar. Blame us both.) **__**Sorry, these things happen when we get into a google doc together. **_

_**Part 2 in progress.**_


	71. Paved with Good Intentions (teaser)

_**Paved with Good Intentions (Part 1 - Preview)**_

_**A CS choose your own adventure tale by lynyrdwrites and gusenitsaa. **__**Can you make the right choices to bring Emma back to the light, or will the path to angst be paved with good intentions! ****If you want to be a part of the vote, read and vote within 48 hours, the link to vote is on my tumblr page ( gusenitsaa )**_

* * *

"Because, I'm the dark one."

Her words were a dagger through his heart. He had the displeasure of knowing exactly what a dagger through the heart felt like. A few moments of searing pain, of blurring eyes, of regret and fear and then nothing. That was easy. This was worse. Because this time it didn't fade.

Emma was gone; vanished in a column of cold smoke and in the aftermath there were several moments of complete stillness before Snow let out a strangled cry. Charming wrapped his arms around her protectively as people finally begin to move.

Henry is staring agape at Sneezy, a stone monument to the darkness that has overtaken the Savior, a perplexed expression of horror on his face, before turning to Regina with sparkling eyes.

"Can you… fix it?"

Regina waved her hand over the statue but all remained still. Finally she sighed and took Henry's hand, "We'll figure something out, ok?"

Killian was still frozen in place, staring down at his own hand in confusion. Moments ago she'd held his hand. Moments ago, she had made the decision to turn away from the darkness, to turn _to_ him, and they were going to Camelot. They were going to find the man that could defeat the darkness once and for all. She had hope in her eyes then, and love. There was fear too, he had seen it; but when the fear grew stronger and her hands began to shake she simply held onto him tighter, letting him drown out the voices with soothing nonsense in her ear. _How had it gone so horribly wrong?_

_..._

* * *

**_Read the rest and learn how to vote on the path you think best at __ s/11533782/1/Paved-with-Good-Intentions (it's a fanfiction link... or you can just go to my author page and click on it from there!)_**


	72. Sweet Dreams

_**Post 5x01 Enchanted Forrest - Here there be angst. **_

* * *

It was that nightmare again.

Not really a nightmare, for dark one's don't sleep, but it makes her feel better to call it a nightmare. Seems more normal, less inevitable. But it isn't a nightmare.

_It's the future_, a voice whispers in her ear. _All of them will be gone soon enough._ _ They'll leave you… like Graham… like Neal. _

They will fail, they will die and she will be alone. Again. With _it_.

Killian is sleeping soundly beside her. He tried to stay awake with her for a while, convinced he could sooth her into sleep. So she began to feign sleep, just until his breathing evened out. She hasn't had the heart to tell him she doesn't need sleep anymore. Didn't want him to look at her like something…_abnormal_. Still, he knows she's sleeping poorly, because whenever his own terrors wake him she's already awake. Sometimes pacing, sometimes reading, sometimes just staring out into the darkness. Eventually she learns how to tell when his nightmares are coming… watches for the relaxed muscles to tighten and lines of worry and pain to mar his features once more. And then she crawls back into the bed and rests her hand on his chest until he wakes and clutches her tight to him. She whispers the lie that everyone needs to hear when they escape from their nightmares. _It's going to be all right. _

He thinks she's sleeping better now, and she lets him believe it.

She hasn't had the heart to tell him a lot of things. He knows she fights the darkness. He doesn't know that a figment of Rumplestiltskin in her head has come up with so many ways to end his life it's all she sees once his features relax in sleep.

The voice in her head has gotten more clever. When she first saw Killian in that clearing it told her to blast him to pieces. At dinner it told her to slit his throat, creating for its own amusement images of the deed that made bile rise in her throat and prevented her from eating for two days. When she finally came down to attempt breakfast it made a vile suggestion involving the porridge spoon that nearly made her ill again. But Killian took her hand and said "Please, Swan… please, you have to eat…"

Now it whispered that he was being too polite to the maid that brought their breakfast. Told her he was going to hurt Henry when they sparred, It whispered in her ear about all the long years she couldn't remember. But _it_ did. It had watched Hook, all those long years. _Keep your enemies close_, it explained with a giggle.

Long hours… every night telling her about the men he'd killed, people he'd betrayed. _He can't be trusted. _ And then it started in on the women he'd taken. What could he want with her? He could have anyone, anyone he chose. Why would he want a woman who whispered to herself in the dead of night; who was afraid to handle so much as a porridge spoon around him lest she take his life in a fit of passion.

_Take his heart,_ it whispers tonight. _He won't even feel it. Not at first. He'll never leave you if you have his heart. _

He shouldn't even be here, in her rooms. She had invited him to stay weeks ago. It was idiotic, to keep him close when he was so… vulnerable… so defenseless in sleep. It was too risky, but she needed him. When the voices got too loud, she could bury her head in his shoulder and he would wake with a start, an instant of alertness before he realized it was just her (just the dark one…) He would wrap his arms around her and tell her that he loved her; that he needed her; that they would find a way… _Together_.

For a time the voices would quiet.

She hadn't told him what's coming.

* * *

_**WHAT'S WORSE IS THAT I'VE ANOTHER PLOT BUNNY IN MY HEAD THAT'S EVEN WORSE , SO THIS MAY HAVE A PART TWO ... whooooops. **_


	73. sweet dreams 2 of 4?

**_I'm thinking now this may be a set of four short scenes. Published separately because I'm impatient about publishing once something is written (and I crave feedback when I'm in an angsty mood. )_**

* * *

She's not the only one fighting her demons this night. She can feel the tension under her fingers, see the slight lowering of his eyebrows as his dreams begin again.. She wished she had known how haunted his nights were before … before when she might have believed the lies she told him when he woke.

She watches the emotions flick across his face one by one wondering if this would be one that would pass on its own. He grows more agitated with every passing moment though, whispering something indistinguishable under his breath.

_You could order him to sleep easily, _it told her. _If you took his heart. He'd never have to know it was gone. _

She shook her head and glared at the figment, he leaned next to the window watching her, always watching her…

_He'd do it. Take the heart of a sleeping person. He's done it before. How bad could it be. Just a little whisper. Tell him to remain calm and he will._

_"_I'm not taking his heart," she spits out, her voice angry and cold… and so much louder than she expected. Killian jerked up, His fingers clenched around her throat, the haze of sleep confusing her for the nightmare that plagued him (_knowing_ her for the nightmare that plagued him.)

_How dare he! _the dark one fumed. _How dare he touch you like that!_ _End him! End him now! _

She doesn't even fight him, It wasn't the first time this had happened… dark ones don't even bruise. Slowly the sleep releases him from it's grip and Killian pulled back, his hands shaking.

"I'm sorry… I'm so s-"

"Shhh, it's alright. I'm fine. You know you can't hurt me now…" He collapsed back onto the bed running his fingers through his hair and she drew closer, laying next to him and running her fingers along his chest until they curled around the back of his neck and into his hair. "You're all right," she soothed, the Dark One mercifully quiet, not that she was no longer alone. He took her hand and placed a kiss on her palm, his breath still shaky from the dream.

"Once we've fixed this…When I can hurt you again… you have to promise me that you won't wake me. No matter how much I cry out you cannot wake me. I don't want to…"

"Killian-"

"Promise me. We'll get a big bed… just move to the other side and leave me be, so I can't reach you when I wake."

She smiled. The silly optimism of his planning for the future warming her heart, even though she knew it was futile.

She didn't want to lie to him, so she shifted up on her elbows and placed a light kiss on his lips, hoping he wouldn't notice that she hadn't made the promise he'd sought. His arms closed around her, pressing her to his chest as his fingers tugged lightly through her hair. His heartbeat was still racing but it steadied her, it always steadied her. As long as it still beat… she wasn't alone. As long as he lived, she'd never be alone.

But the visions never ceased to taunt her now and in her visions he was cold and still and she sobbed, and she raged and she destroyed _everything_. She tried to tell herself that she wouldn't. That she would save him, that it didn't_have_ to be like _that_. But then the visions returned, and his eyes were staring and lifeless, still so blue but they didn't see her anymore.

"Sweetheart?" She blinked away the images in her head, suddenly feeling the hot tears that were slipping unnoticed down her cheeks and onto his chest. "Sweetheart, _please_, tell me?"

"I can't," she muttered, pressing her face harder into his chest, counting the heartbeats under her ear. _How many were left?_

"How am I supposed to help you if you don't tell me what hurts you so?"

"Just … please… please don't leave me," she whispered, and he tightened his arms around her.

"I'm not going anywhere."

_Liar. _


	74. Sweet Dreams 3 of 4

_**Sweet Dreams (3 of 4)**_

Anxiety prickled across her skin like ants just beneath the surface. The visions were growing clearer day by day, but the future was a tricky thing. Constantly in a state of flux. Only one thing was truly constant. He was gone and she had lost. Lost him and with him her hope of fighting the dark one. She spent hours staring at nothing, ignoring everything around her, trying to figure out how._ How do I let this happen? _

There was a pressure at her shoulder and she jumped, lashing out with her magic.

"Don't sneak up on Swan," Killian moaned from the floor of the other side of the room. "Noted."

"Killian!" Her surprise was mixed with anger, though not at him. At herself. What hope did she have of scouring the future for a glimpse of him when she hadn't even noticed him coming up behind her in the present.

"S'all right love, I've had worse. Still got all my pieces and everything." She vanished and appeared again kneeling next to him, making him jump. "You're… getting better at that," he commented. She knew he didn't like it when she did that … reminded him too much of another dark one he'd known…

"Sorry."

"I was just coming to tell you that they're waiting for you. This could be it, love, aye?"

"They found the last ingredient?" she replied, helping him to his feet.

"Arthur did, apparently," Killian sounded bitter and Emma chuckled. "I know your father trusts him but I… he's not telling us everything."

"I know," Emma replied, "we'll keep an eye on him."

"I think your father has that bit covered."

"Your jealousy is showing, Hook."

Killian rolled his eyes and offered her his arm, "Shall we free a wizard from a tree, then, Sweetheart? And then perhaps some lunch."

Emma laughed, his utter ambivalence towards great displays of power still made her smile.

* * *

Everyone was gathered in the courtyard around the tree, Regina took center stage, as usual, mumbling words in a language Emma didn't even try to understand, not until Rumplestiltskin began to giggle. Anything that could cause the dark one such glee was clearly not a good idea. Arthur came up behind them and her hackles went up.

"Just one more thing," Arthur said, and suddenly Killian gasped, Arthur's hand was in his back and with a horrible ripping sound he pulled Killian's heard out. Emma's eyes widened and she raised her hand to attack but Arthur gave the heart a squeeze.

"Careful Princess," he warned, and Killian doubled over. Emma moved closer, catching him as he crumpled and he leaned heavily on her.

"What are you doing!" Charming cried at the same time as Snow insisted "This is _not _what we discussed!"

Emma turned on them, eyes flaming with rage, "What did you _discuss_?"

Regina stepped forward, advancing slowly on Arthur. "You told me it was for a beast."

"Ah, yes, about that. I lied. But I appreciate the enchantment, couldn't have done it without you. See this spell is far too powerful for the heart of a beast. It needs a heart touched by the Dark One. When Snow here told me about your poor daughter's … predicament I realized we finally had a real chance. Can you imagine my delight when David told me that his daughter held the heart of a pirate. Had done so literally, actually."

David's eyes sparked with anger at the betrayal but Arthur ignored him, moving closer to the tree. "Restoring Merlin to this land requires a sacrifice-"

"NO!" Emma cried; her hand twitched to destroy him but she knew she couldn't do it without destroying Killian's heart too.

Killian grabbed her suddenly, turning her away from the tree, "Don't watch it happen, look at me."

"Killian, no-"

"Shhh," he murmured, wiping away a tear from her cheek and leaning his forehead against hers. "Don't remember me as I fell, don't do that to yourself. Remember me like this. Remember how much I love you. Do you hear me? I love you."

"Please, don't leave me-"

His lips crashed onto hers, his arms pulling her tight as though he would never let her go. But then a shudder passed through him and his grip slackened. He fell and Emma sank to the ground with him, her eyes burning with tears. Without warning she was trapped in one of her visions no longer blurred with uncertainty but sharp and cruel as a blade in her heart. His eyes starred without seeing, his body still, expression blank and nothing... _nothing _she could do to save him now.

Her parents had come to her side, but she threw her hands out. "Don't touch me," she cried, pushing them away with a gust of magic. She wrapped her arms around Killian's body protectively, burying her face into his neck. But there was no pulse in his throat now. His heart was gone, ash at the base of that tree…

She looked up at her parents, they were huddled together tears on their faces as they watched her. Charming drew his sword then, turning towards Arthur- but Emma didn't see what happened next... If they could live on half a heart… why couldn't she?

She reached into her own chest and pulled out her heart. It burned red still, but inky tendrils were wrapped around it now. Could a heart tainted with darkness still…

Regina pressed forward rapidly, "Don't! Emma… it's a miracle it worked once!"

"I have to try-" her hand flew up to push Regina back too as she examined the glowing heart. Taking it in both hands she pulled, pain shot through her and when she was certain it would soon turn to dust … it split. A smile broke onto her face and she returned one half to her chest. Taking a few deep breaths she shoved the other half into her fallen pirate.

With a gasp Killian shot up and Emma buried herself into his chest. His heart was beating. Their heart was beating and his arms tightened around her.

"What did you do?" he murmured in her ear.

"I saved you," she grinned, "I didn't give you permission to leave me!"

The wind was howling around them and Charming had his sword at Arthur's throat. Finally Emma pulled herself away from Killian and advanced on Arthur.

"You can't kill me," he taunted, "I crushed his heart, the spell is tied to me now! If I die-"

Emma plunged her hand into his chest and twisted. Arthur's heart was speckled with black and she examined it briefly before crushing it with a rapid squeeze.

"I don't care," she hissed as the King fell at her feet and the wind abruptly stilled.

* * *

_**One Part left!**_

_**Love it, hate it, little of both. Leave me a note and let me know!**_


	75. Sweet Dreams (final part)

_**Final part of Sweet Dreams!**_

* * *

No one spoke after Arthur fell until Emma turned her attention to the next knight. Then Killian broke free of his shock and hurried up to her, taking her hand in his and squeezing gently.

"Come inside, Swan? Please?"

She lets him pull her away, the Dark One's giggles echoing in her ear, his grip tight on her forearm. She said nothing as he led her back into the castle, down the winding hallways, all the way back to her rooms.

When the door clicked closed behind them she shattered, tears flowing down her cheeks as she threw herself into his arms and he led her back to her bed, sinking onto the edge and rubbing his hand in slow circles on her back.

"Damn you! Damn you Killian Jones, you said you weren't going anywhere!"

"I'm sorry."

"You're sorry? It wasn't your fault you idiot. Why are you apologizing?"

He chuckled and kissed the top of her head. "What did you do, love? How..."

"Remember what my parents did?"

His eyes widened, "You... Swan, you could have died too."

"I didn't."

His face was a mixture of surprise and gratitude and utter wonder when he murmured "It... worked?" He pulled her close for another hug and it almost drowned out the dark one's giggle.

_**That wasn't so hard, was it? Just a little squeeze and vengeance was yours.**_

"It wasn't vengeance," she muttered, "it was justice."

Killian pulled away slightly to look her in the eyes and she shook her head. The concern in his gaze only grew more intense when she looked away.

"Swan, I know what it is to take a life, you can talk to me."

"I don't want to talk."

"As you wish."

"You think I was wrong," she challenged, her whole body stiffening.

"I would most certainly have done the same," he admitted.

"But you still think it was wrong." She stood, pacing back and forth.

"I didn't say that. I just... Merlin was our plan, Now... But we'll find another way. We should go back outside, your parents likely want-"

_**Who cares. They got him killed.**_

"I don't care what they want," she snapped. "They got you killed!"

"They were deceived," Killian insisted.

_**They lied to you.**_

"They kept secrets from me... again!" Emma echoed and Killian's eyebrows drew inward.

"They likely didn't want to burden you with anything more than the weight you already bear."

_**They should be punished for their betrayal.**_

Her eyes widened in horror and she finally took Killian's outstretched hand, letting him pull her closer and brush his lips onto her forehead.

"Tell me it's going to be ok," she whispered.

"It _will_ be ok."

Emma's reception of her parents was chilly, particularly in contrast to David and Snow's obvious relief at seeing Killian alive and well. David actually hugged him, muttering in his ear that if he dared say I told you so he'd stab him again. But Emma stayed set apart, her eyes were cold and it was all she could do to ignore the muttering in her head as they tried to come up with another way.

No one mentioned Arthur. No one dared.

* * *

It didn't get better, or easier. Emma seemed constantly on the edge of her seat ready to snap at anyone who got on her bad side. Until the day she fired the waitress who brought them breakfast by blasting her out of the dining hall.

"Emma?" Killian asked, eyes worried but voice calm. "Sweetheart, this isn't you."

"I'm tired of you telling me who I am!" she spat, storming out of the room. Killian stayed behind to ensure the maid was alright. She had a broken arm and Killian apologized profusely as he helped her to the doctor.

"What took you so long?" Emma shot bitterly when he finally returned to her rooms.

"I had to help that lass to the medical wing, she'd a broken arm."

"She was flirting with you. She's been flirting with you since the moment you set foot in this castle!"

"Swan-"

"Don't try to deny it!"

"It doesn't matter if she was. Swan, I love you. You know this to be true...I don't know what the darkness is saying to you, but you know the truth. Your heart brought me back to life, love, I don't think such a thing works for just anyone." He offered her his hand and she took it, stepping into his arms and trying to ignore everything but his voice in her ear. "You are my own heart," he whispered.

"Did I really break her arm?" she asked finally.

"Afraid so, but she'll be alright."

"I should apologize. I don't know what got in-... I should apologize..."

"I think... I think she may be a bit frightened of you at the moment."

"Would you tell her that I'm sorry?"

"Yes, love. I'll tell her."

* * *

The outbursts grew more frequent, though. Each time she exploded he was there, taking her hand and brushing his fingers through her hair, squeezing her hand until she came back, but at times, Killian feared there was coming a day when it wouldn't be enough. That he would be the one launched across the room when he tried to calm her.

Finally one evening, word came in that she had exploded at some of the stable hands. Three of them were in the medical wing. One might not walk again.

"Someone has to say it," Regina said with a sigh, "and apparently that always has to be me. She can't fight the darkness with half a heart."

Guilt shot through Killian and for once he'd nothing to say to Regina's claim.

"Then we just have to work faster," Charming shot back.

"Work on what?" Regina retorted, we've got nothing. Unless someone else feels like losing a heart. She killed our best chance of defeating that darkness!"

"We'll find another way!" Snow insisted.

"Before she starts killing more people? Because if she does, I still have the dagger. I will not let her massacre these-"

"Don't you dare," Snow fumed. "After everything you did, everyone you've destroyed don't you dare talk about my daughter like that. She gave you that blade as a last resort, if you try to hurt her-"

"No one is going to hurt Emma," Killian broke in. "What we need is more time. We need to give her more time..."

"Killian-" Charming warned.

"Regina is right," Killian said. "About one thing anyway. She was doing well when she had her whole heart. But now..."

"Stop it," Snow said sharply. "Not another word, Hook. We don't give up on our family. Like it or not, that means you too."

* * *

It's been six weeks. Six weeks since they lost her, six weeks since they found her and they're no closer to finding a way to defeat the darkness than they were the day Emma killed Arthur. He doesn't sleep in her rooms anymore, she kicked him out days ago, told him it was too dangerous, He wasn't certain what that meant exactly but he was no longer welcome there.

And then came the day Emma decided she'd changed her mind about giving Regina the dagger. It started harmlessly enough. Emma asked Killian over dinner if he thought it was right for someone else to have that kind of control over her.

"You did, once," he replied carefully.

She didn't say anything more and he thought she'd let the subject drop. Until the following afternoon when there was an explosion of noise coming from another wing of the castle. Killian had been practicing swordplay with Henry in the courtyard when it happened.

"Stay here," he ordered Henry, tearing off towards the source of the noise. When he arrived he found that Regina's rooms had been torn to pieces. Emma stood with her dagger in one hand and Regina's heart in the other and for a split second Killian froze in horror. The moment passed and he hurried forward.

"Emma- no please."

Her eyes flicked to him briefly but this time they looked right through him. "I should have done this that day. The day she helped him destroy your heart."

"She didn't kn-"

"She SHOULD HAVE!" Emma spat, tightening her grip on Regina's heart and making Regina crumble in on herself.

"Emma please, if you choose vengeance-"

"STOP IT! All of you just stop!" She didn't even look at him and it almost seemed as though she wasn't talking to him. Killian glanced around but there was no one else in the room.

"Em-"

"I said shut UP!" Her grip was tightening on Regina's heart and the woman doubled over. The chill in Emma's eyes made Hook's own heart clench at the sight, suddenly he realized he knew exactly what needed to be done. Reaching into his own chest with his spelled hook he pulled out the half of Emma's heart that had brought him back to her. Because she needed it. She could survive with half a heart but she couldn't fight the dark one.

"I can't let you do this, Swan." He whispered, cradling the organ in his good hand. Tears pricked his eyes as he held it close, not squeezing it, no, it was far to precious a thing for such rough treatment.

"What are you doing?" Emma's eyes were trained directly on him now.

"I can't keep this from you, sweetheart, not when the cost is this."

"Killian no-" She shoved Regina's heart back into her chest distractedly and was in front of him in a moment.

"You must take it back Emma."

She took the heart from him but instantly pushed forward, shoving it roughly back into his chest. She shook her head violently. "I won't lose you."

"You'll lose yourself instead," he whispered.

"So be it," she said coldly, and then she was gone, nothing but grey smoke remaining.

When he found her again the sky had drown dark and stormy though it was not yet sunset. She returned to her rooms with a half-hearted smile on her lips. "It's time to go home," she said, when she closed the door behind them.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, hesitatingly.

"If we stay you'll ... you'll find a way to return my heart. So we're going back to Storybrooke."

"You'll need your heart there so much as here. Emma listen to me, You _saved_ me, gave me a few more precious weeks with you but ... Swan, you were never supposed to have to keep the darkness at bay with only half a heart. Let me go, let me give you a ch-"

"Enough," Emma spat. "I don't want anyone else telling me what my best chance is."

"I can't stand this, love, knowing that it's my fault that the darkness has had a chance to take root."

She smiled bitterly and traced her fingers along his jaw, "You won't have to, You won't remember. Any of this. You'll remember finding me, and that's all."

His eyes widened, "Don't do this, Emma. Please?"

"It's already done." She brushed his hair back and leaned her forehead in to touch his. "The spell is cast. In moments you'll be back in Storybrooke. You won't have to remember any of this."

"I don't want to forget!" His eyes grew desperate and he clung to her hard enough to bruise. Or it would have been, once. "The time we've spent together, the nights I held you. Your heart beating in my chest. Please, don't take that... Anything else, you can have anything else but leave me that-"

"It's the only way," she whispered soothingly. "You think I don't know how determined you are? But I can't lose you ... and now that you have this idea in your head ...I can't let you go back to Storybrooke knowing what you know."

He shook his head and clutched her tighter, "I won't forget," he murmured.

The grey smoke was pouring through the window now and he buried his face into her neck, trying to memorize the feeling of their hearts beating as one. "I won't forget. I won't forget, I won't-"

The grey smoke engulfed them and the entire castle, scooping up everything, everyone. They would all return to Storybrooke with nothing but the clothes they wore to tell them they had been gone at all. And when he asked her _why_, _why are you doing this?_

She lied.

"Because... I am the dark one."

* * *

**_There you go, thoughts? complaints? Random strings of capital letter characters?!_**


	76. Enough

_**Enough**_

**_For those of you reading Failure to appear and paved I am sooooo sorry. But I swear I will never leave anything unfinished. I will try my bestest to update both asap and as a thank you for waiting here have this spoilers laced angst_**

**_So tough-lass posted a beautiful headcanon about those spoiler pics looking like a true love's kiss finally working and I thought 'wow that's so beautiful… how can I ruin it. How about we reverse the order of those pictures and see what happens! Context is everything right.' I blame xhookswenchx for most of this. And my original angst trainer lynyrdwrites . _**

* * *

The sound of his voice had reached her all the way in the basement of her cold _cold _house. Her magic responded to the call of her name now, even without the bearer carrying her dagger. The cry didn't insist with a magical imperative. It was only a voice… carrying into her mind like a call on the wind.

"Emma Swan-" he whispered in her mind. "Emma-"

She was in the clearing before he could repeat the call. He had managed to get one arm free of his binds before she even reached him, and his hook was raised to block the assault, managing only to divert the blade thrust that had sought his heart a few precious inches lower. Killian groaned and Arthur laughed but not for long. In a moment Emma was on him, her fingers clenching in a fist that closed his throat and left him gasping. And just as quickly, he was gone.

She wasn't sure exactly where she sent him. Somewhere out in the ocean. _Good luck swimming with that ridiculous cape, _she thought bitterly. He would fight for hell knows how long before the sea finally took him. A slow, tortuous and terrifying death. _Exactly_ what he deserved. _No one_ took something that belonged to the Dark One and survived.

Her attention was drawn back to Killian when his knees hit the ground hard.

"Why didn't you call me sooner," she started.

"You came-" his words came out on a sigh. His right arm was still tied awkwardly behind his back, his left pressing into the wound that shone crimson in the moonlight.

Her mind flew back to the cobblestones of another world. The smell of his blood muddying the streets… The same smell assailed her senses now. The same blood in a rapidly spreading pool, his face gone pale and his lips already ashen. She had watched his eyes go blank, his face fall slack. She had watched his life drain into the street with the same panic that was now rising in her chest.

_Then_ she had been weak. _Then_ she had left him alone, cold at the feet of his murderers; abandoned to save herself and her son. But the Dark One doesn't have to make compromises, doesn't have to accept sacrifices. _No one_ takes someone that belonged to _her._

She was at his side in the blink of an eye, wrapping her arms around him and lowering him slowly when his balance faltered; her power was already rising in a swirling maelstrom of anger and fear, all burning, tearing, clawing its way to the surface.

"You came-" he repeated, but his words were slurred now and just barely audible over the pounding of her heart in her ears. It didn't matter now.

This time she could save him. Her hands glow, a mottled grey light burning along her skin as she focuses her power on him.

_Brink him back. _

His skin is slick with a cold sweat, pale and clammy under her palm. His lips tinged with blue…

B_ring him back. _

His heartbeat is shallow under her fingers; a fluttering, desperate thing, scrambling for purchase…

_He is MINE. _

When the light faded she grasped the bloodstained vest, peeling it back where it was torn to see the skin below. There was too much blood and she couldn't see… couldn't tell… with a flick of her fingers the area was cleansed, Intact, if still too pale, skin beneath her trembling fingers. She clenched her hands tight to hide her weakness and settled a smug smile on her face before she met his eyes.

"Come on… let's go home."

With a thought they were back in her house, the blood that had stained his clothes was no more than a faded nightmare… except that he still stood slumped, swaying slightly. His muscles tremble under her fingers from the simple effort of standing. Her grip on his side was sure to bruise, but God… he looked as though if she slackened her grip he would fall to the floor right in the middle of her living room.

"Killian?"

She can hear the worry in her voice. _Emma _breaking through the cold exterior for just a moment. The copper smell seemed burned into her nostrils, she could still smell his blood, though she could no longer see it.

"M'fine, luv, just need a moment-"

"You're _not_ fine… you're so-" she bit her lip staring at him intently. "so… easily damaged." He scoffed, a look of irritation on his face. "If I hadn't come-" she continued, "Killian, Even _I_ cannot bring back the dead. If I had tarried only a little-"

"What do you want, Dark One?" he interrupted.

Her mouth opened silently, taken aback at the sudden chill in his voice, wondering what she had said to make him… remember.

"If you knew what I was really after, you'd do everything in your power to stop me," she answered carefully.

"Then stop yourself!" he replied without a moments delay.

"I just saved your life," she reminded him, "Is this any way to-"

"Was this another manipulation?" he interrupted. "Save my life and place me in your debt?"

Her mouth closed tight and she took a single step back, slipping her hands into her back pockets to hide the trembling that had begun anew.

But then her head tilted to one side and her eyes softened. She took a small step forward again. Raising her hand to his cheek she brushed it lightly before letting it fall to press against his jacket.

"I still love you, Killian," she said quietly. Her eyes were wide and vulnerable and … damn her. _Damn her _but he wanted to believe her_. _His hand fell to her hip and he closed his eyes, letting himself pretend for a moment that she was here. That Emma was back in his arms.

He tightened his grip on her hip and buried his face into her neck. For just a moment… Just a moment longer. Her voice had grown softer too, gentler and more dangerous than any riptide. "Killian, I _love_ you. Isn't that enough?" she finished.

"It was," He pulled her closer for a moment, one precious moment longer before he pulled himself away, putting careful distance between them again. "It was once. God, how I loved you Emma, I loved you so damn much I couldn't _breathe_ without you. I still c-" He stopped abruptly and his jaw clenched for a moment. He finally looked up into her eyes. He was still pale but when he spoke it was the Dark One who trembled. "You took the woman I love. And until you return her to me, you are my enemy."

"It doesn't have to be that way," Emma protested, frustration creeping into the edges of her voice. "Killian we could be great… we could even be _good_. I can use this power to protect what I care about. What _we _care about."

"Darkness doesn't work like that, Swan. Darkness taints, it manipulates, it destroys. Don't you think I of all people understand that! Do you think I _wanted _to let darkness take my heart?" Something in his tone shifted ever so slightly and he reached for her hand. "It was easier calling it vengeance. Calling it love. But it wasn't. It was pain and anger and hatred. Swan… Emma, please-"

She pulled away, "I just… I need you to believe in me-"

"I have always believed in you Swan, I believed in you more than I believe in myself. And I still believe that you can win. I know you're a fighter Emma. And this will _not_ be the time I see you fail."

"I can have both. I can have _everything._" Her hands danced in the air beginning to glow slightly and Killian tensed.

"Swan, what are you doing?"

_"_I can't lose you, Killian. _I won't _lose you. If I do this no simple blade will be able to harm you. And we'll have all eternity for me to show you-" He tried to reach for her, but she shook her head, freezing him in place.

"I'm still the savior Killian. I tried to fight it but I can't. This… this is how I save you."

"What the hell is happening," he growled.

Then she was holding excalibur, no longer broken but whole, with her name still decorating its side. A pulse of light exploded from the blade and his vision went dark for a moment. When it cleared her name was no longer alone on that blade. His joined hers.

"I _need_ you to believe in me," she repeated.

"I've always believed in you," he echoed. "But you have to let me help you. Let me in, love."

"You really want to know the truth, no matter how awful?"

"I do," he insisted. "Swan, I love you, no matter what you've done."

She reached out and grabbed the lapels of his coat, dragging him down to her sighing in relief when his arms snaked around her waist.

"I missed you," she whispered, pulling away just far enough to see his eyes, "God, Hook, I've missed you so much."

* * *

**oops**...


	77. He's told me all about you

**_Emma meets someone (un)expected in her trip to the underworld. For nothingimpossibleonlyimprobable … it's as close as I can get to fluff right now. Just a little bitty fluffy bit because we all need it right now_**

* * *

Now that she was here she wished she had listened. They had insisted she needed a plan, spent weeks pouring over the possibilities, sideways glances reminding her that she was probably the only one who thought this would work. But still they stayed, stubbornly optimistic even as the dark circles grew more pronounced under their eyes.

Finally she'd had enough of waiting. To hell with a plan.

There was a boat, a misty river, a cloaked figure and now this… At first she'd thought that it hadn't worked, that she'd ended up back in Storybrooke. She'd looked around the remains of the town, her heart clenching. So much devastation, so quickly. But the ring felt warm on her skin and as she walked the warmth grew. She found herself walking to the docks out of habit. It wasn't Storybrooke. Not really. It didn't feel right. It was too quiet. Too cold. But even if it wasn't really Storybrooke … certainly the docks are where he would have gone right?

The boat was old; she almost didn't recognize it, rotting, just like the rest of the town. But it was neat and well cared for, as well as could be expected given the circumstances, anyway. She took one step onto the gangplank and the hatch to the captain's cabin popped open. She didn't hesitate a moment… she ran. Up the gangplank and across the deck and then suddenly she realized that the man was just barely too tall. He was too broad through the shoulders, his curly hair that was too light. And she was going too fast … she collided with him. The man turning around at the last second to catch her before she would have tripped down the still open hatch.

"Who are _you_?" she asked, disappointment making her voice sharp.

"The Captain of this vessel. You're in a hurry, miss…?"

"I'm looking for someone," her fingers moved to the ring around her throat, toying with it absentmindedly as she tried to decide if this man was friend or foe. He smiled slightly and she narrowed her eyes in suspicion.

"You're looking for someone here?" he asked, bending to close the hatch, "you mean to tell me you came here intentionally to find the one you seek?"

"How did you come by his ship?" Emma's eyes sparked dangerously and she watched the Captain closely, hoping her power to tell a lie still worked here.

"His ship?" the captain retorted, "I beg your pardon but-"

"Did you harm him?"

"Not intentionally, lass, I assure you."

"Is he here?" Emma pressed on, "His name is Killian, and he wears a hook on his left arm. Or he did… He would have come here first, I'm sure of it."

"You know him well. He's a lucky man, to have a lass so devoted as you."

"Please. Please, Captain, I'm … I'm not the begging type but … I need to find him. I need him, his family needs him." She sighed and took a breath to steady herself, looking up she was surprised to see that the eyes that looked back down at her were warm... friendly… and so very blue. "Look, I think we got off on the wrong foot. My name is-"

"Emma Swan… of course. He's told me all about you."


	78. Half Baked

** dark-ones : because sometimes I don't know what to say. So here is Killian baking cookies with a side of David Tennant. **

**Actually posted before the last episode, but I forgot to put it here. Part spoilers part speculation part just wanting something to make the pain better. *sigh* **

* * *

He heard voices again when he woke, too cold in a too large bed, the space next to him long empty. He rubbed his fingers through his hair wearily, trying to brush the dreams away along with the unruly strands. He threw off the covers and moved silently down the stairs until it became clear to him that there were no late night visitors, just Emma wrapped tight in a spare blanket and watching what Aurora had affectionately termed the devil box.

_"That's why I left you behind."_ the box said _ "It's not easy even just… just looking at you, Jack, cos you're wrong."_

_"Thanks."_

_"You are. I can't help it. I'm a Time Lord. It's instinct; it's in my guts. You're a fixed point in time and space; you're a fact. That's never meant to happen. Even the TARDIS reacted against you, tried to shake you off. Flew all the way to the end of the universe just to get rid of you."_

He could see her shoulders shaking slightly and a part of him yearned to move into the room and sink down on the couch next to her; wrap her in his arms until the shaking stopped. But another part of him knew that sometimes these moments were too private for the presence of another…

Killian Jones had learned much in these past few months.

He'd learned that Emma Swan loved him. And that she was afraid, so desperately afraid of losing him that she would ignore his dying wish and turn him into a monster he despised. He'd learned that she could accept the darkness, make the selfish choice.

He'd learned to wield dark magic. That he was right to fear himself. That darkness was just as easy… just as welcoming as he remembered.

He'd learned that he could in fact, hate Emma Swan. And that however much he hated Emma Swan, it didn't change the fact that he loved her. That even consumed by darkness, he could find the strength to save her.

And he'd learned that even death could not stop Emma Swan. That she would march into hades itself to drag him back to her.

He also learned how to use a toaster, and that it was unwise to use his hook to remove his toast from the contraption.

He'd learned to use an oven and that the modern world made packages of what Henry called cookie dough, which produced incredible delicacies when you added heat.

None of this new knowledge seemed to help him understand what was happening at this particular moment. The men on the box were still speaking nonsense but the shaking in her shoulders grew steadily worse.

_"No-one's ever meant to have that power. If a Time Lord did that, he'd become a god. A vengeful god. But she was human. Everything she did was so human. She brought you back to life, but she couldn't control it. She brought you back forever."_

He stepped away from the doorway silently, not wanting to hear anymore. He knew now why she sobbed, the words brought a tightness to his chest too, the memory of his own desire to play the vengeful god.

There was a time he wouldn't have hesitated, that he would have been sure that his arms around her would bring a smile to her lips and a sparkle to her eyes. But now? Would they just remind her of the cruel words that had slipped through his lips not so long ago, as easily as words of comfort did now?

Would he only make it worse, looking into the eyes that had told her that he wanted to hurt her. What could he possibly _say_ to make this better, to make the pain go away?

_'It's alright now?'_ It had been said many times, so many times it had nearly lost its meaning. '_I forgive you?_' He'd said that already too, and so had she. It didn't keep her tears from falling or their sleep from being shattered by night terrors. '_You should get some sleep?'_ true enough, but she wouldn't and neither would he.

He escaped into the kitchen, the farthest he could get from her without going back up to that too cold bed. He leaned his forehead against the fridge, his jaw clenching in frustration, a tight knot in his stomach. She loved him. He loved her. He should be able to do _something_. But everything he was inclined to try had some cruel echo, tainted by the darkness.

He opened the fridge, hoping the cool air might clear his head and something caught his eye.

Cookie dough.

The tiniest hint of a smile crept on to his lips. He was pretty damn sure the dark one didn't bake cookies. As quietly as possible he turned the number on the knob to the one that matched the numbers on the package, just as Henry had shown him.

He opened the package and placed a potion of the contents on the metal tray and slipped it into the oven. He didn't remember how to set the timer so he just sank into a chair near the oven to wait, listening to the muffled sound of voices drifting into the kitchen from the other room.

His mind wandered as he sat, to Camelot and through the memories that still felt so very new. The moment she entered the ball in camelot he knew they would succeed. Because she was an angel in white, how could the darkness possibly hope to take her? And then she'd been forced to use her power, and there was a desperation in her kiss, a wall gone up between them that seemed impermeable no matter how tightly she clung to his collar. He remembered the desperation, the fear, the _exhaustion_ in her eyes. Frantic rides on horseback and middlemist fields. Kisses that _almost_ felt like Emma. And he remembered grass tickling his neck, her fingers brushing his cheek and the tears in her eyes as he tried to keep his open. He remembered her fear, her desperation, and the guilt that settled low in his chest when he realized he had to leave her. He shook the thoughts away and went over to check the oven. He'd clearly done something wrong because it was one a giant melting and rising chocolate… mess. He grabbed a towel and pulled the whole thing out and set it on the counter. It wasn't exactly cookies but it doubtless tasted pretty similar. He scooped up some of the melted mess with his finger intending to pop some into his mouth, realizing too late that it was still far too hot. He waved his fingers back and forth to cool them, cursing under his breath.

The voices had stopped it the other room, and he quieted his curses and dumped the whole mess onto a plate and slipped into the living room to see if she'd already disappeared back up to her… their room.

She was still there on the couch, wrapped tight in the blanket. She made no sound but her shoulders shook in barely contained sobs. He gave up the fight to be quiet, and knocked on the door frame with his hook. She jumped and tried to wipe the tears away as he sank onto the couch next to her without a word holding out the plate to her.

"You… you made cookies?" she asked, voice still a little shaky.

"I made… a cookie mush pile that is probably only about half baked inside," he corrected with a little shrug.

"I … don't know what to say," Emma whispered, her lips twitching up in a half smile.

He shrugged half-heartedly. "Neither did I … hence: cookie mush."

"Killian?"

"Hmmm?"

"I love cookie mush."

"Good, because I burned myself on the bloody thing. I think they're probably going to have to chop the other hand." He held out his fingers, still red from touching the hot pan.

"Can I fix it?" she asked him carefully, still a little uncertain about her magic.

"I wish you would," he replied. She took his fingers in hers and a pale glow illuminated their hands for a moment, then the burning was gone.

"I wish everything was that easy to fix," she sighed, kissing the tip of his finger for good measure

"Me too," he admitted.

"But now we have cookie mush," she said.

"It'd be a pity to waste it," he agreed.

They ate too much cookie dough and a good third of it had ended up on the floor before they were done. Finally he took her hand and pulled her to the window. The sun was rising over the ocean, the first streaks of red and orange illuminating the grey sky.

"We survived another night," Killian murmured, kissing the top of her head softly. Emma spun in his arms and buried her head into him, nodding into his chest.

"One more night," she agreed.

"Will you come back to bed?" he asked gently.

"I thought you'd never ask."


	79. Don't Leave

_**Don't Leave**__**: **_**Inspired by waiting-for-autumn 's gorgeous art 'Don't Leave' reposted from tumblr.**

**"**What if while there Killian keeps hallucinating Emma leaving him behind and abandoning him?**"**

* * *

"Wake up pirate, we have work to do."

Killian opened his eyes and for a moment he thought he'd gone blind. Eventually pinpricks of light began to drift into his vision and he saw a shadowy figure standing over him and he pulled himself to his feet. "Who are you?"

"They told me you were clever," the man said with a sigh. "That's disappointing. But you're a little jet lagged, so I'll cut you a break. Names Hades, Lord of the dead. You can call me sir or lord… or oh, how about Captain?"

"Unlikely."

"We'll see. Shall we get started?"

"With what?"

"Well most people think they want to see it. The aftermath. They can't resist one last glimpse, and I…well I can't resist watching them break."

"I won't break," Killian said immediately.

"Everyone breaks." Hades retorted with an exasperated sigh. "It's just a matter of time. And time… that's on my side."

The room began to brighten slightly until Killian realized it wasn't a room at all but a clearing, lit by starlight on the edge of a… he heard sobs and ran to the edge of the clearing where he stopped short. Emma was collapsed over top of… _him_. Before he'd time to take in the bizarreness of the sight he had dropped to her side, laying his hand on her shoulder. Or he tried to. His hand went right through her. She didn't move but to sob harder, bending to clench her fingers into his jacket and murmuring 'no' over and over into his chest. He sank to the ground next to her, every sob, every tear another blade through his heart.

"Emma, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry-" he whispered.

"She can't hear you, Jones." Hades commented, "Lookie no touchie, that's the rule here."

Some people came eventually, to take away his body, he realized, when she tightened her grip on him protectively.

_"Leave him alone, don't touch him." _Her father came up behind her, wrapping an arm around her. _ "They won't take him far, sweetheart. Just out of the mud, ok. Let's just get him out of the mud."_ Emma loosened her grip enough that the men could lift the body but Emma kept his hand clasped tight to her chest, silent tears still streaming down her face as they moved to cover him with a sheet.

"_No_-" she whispered, her control snapping again as they tried to take the body away. "_No please_," She clenched his hand tighter, following a couple steps until her legs gave out and her parents caught her from behind. His hand slipped from her grasp and she turned, sobbing into her mother's shoulder. Tears were slipping down his face too now, his hand clenched tightly against the futile desire to hold her…

And then she was gone, the dark clearing replaced with the bright walls of the cabin of the jolly and Liam was falling and he was calling for help that wouldn't do any good.

"What the hell are we doing here?" Killian spat at Hades, standing off to one side, watching with a quiet interest.

"Hey, don't yell at me, buddy, you're navigating this little voyage."

Killian watched in horror as Liam fell, his own sobs filling the room until…they were topside now, his brother wrapped in a sheet and Killian couldn't tear his eyes away as his brother slipped below the surface.

"What do you mean I'm navigating?" he asked finally.

"Oh didn't I mention…I'm just here for the show. You're showing me all the little horrors you keep locked up inside that ancient heart of yours. All the things you don't want to think about-"

The landscape darkened again and Killian winced as a grunt slipped past his father's lips, a blade sliding home with a sickening sound.

"Ouch," Hades commented, "that's gunna leave a mark."

"Why are you doing this?" Killian asked, watching his father reach for him, and fall when he pulled away.

"Because… Everybody has a weakness. And you… you have so many I don't even know which to exploit." A sly grin slipped onto Hades' face as they found themselves on the deck of the Jolly Roger, Milah sinking to the ground. Killian watched himself catch her, watched her fight to say her final words.

"Stop this," he whispered

"You're hiding something from me… " Hades said, as everything changed again, "What is it?"

_"I want to hurt you, like you hurt me." _

"Stop it!" Killian cried again

"You're good, you're very good. In fact if I hadn't been at this so long I might think we'd dug deep enough for an eternities worth of torment. But you're not showing me everything. Don't think about it, Hook, don't think about what it is you don't want me to see."

Killian clenched his jaw as the images flashed to life around them, the loss of his hand, Emma - pale with lips turning blue - kneeling inside an icy cavern, "_I love you, Emma Swan. No matter what you've done_," the cries of his father's replacement son as Brennan lay dying in the mud, Emma - her hands at her throat looking up at him in horror and pain, "_you have to let me go_."

"Closer," Hades murmured, "we're almost there."

Then they were at the top of a beanstalk and he heard the metallic sound of a chain shackle snapping into place.

_What are you doing? What are you doing!?_ Emma stuttered a reply and his own voice broke back in desperately "_Emma, look at me. Have I told you a lie? I brought you here. I risked my own safety to help you. The compass is in your hand. Why do this to me now?_"

_"I can't take a chance that I'm wrong about you. I'm sorry."_

Killian closed his eyes, determined to give Hades no more clues from the depths of his eyes, but that didn't stop the sight from reaching him, playing on behind closed eyelids.

_"You're sorry? You're sorry?! I got you here! I got you the compass!"_

_"I got the compass,_" Emma spat back

_"Well, you're just going to leave me here to die? Have that beast to eat me, to crush my bones?"_

_"He's not a beast. And you're not going to die. I just need a head start. That's all."_

He winced as he listened to himself screaming her name. For how long he wasn't sure. A part of him had been so sure that she would come back, but his throat grew hoarse from the screaming and he sank down against the stone he was chained to.

Killian finally opened his eyes when all grew quiet and he was back in the dark; alone with Hades … who was just watching.

"What? That's it? That's all you got?" Hook challenged, "I was promised an eternity of torment and-"

"I think I've seen all I need to see."

* * *

The room shifted again and Hook found himself in her house, their house, and Hades was nowhere to be found. Emma was lying on the couch, completely still but for her fingers which turned Liam's ring over and over in her hands. The house was empty. They'd left her alone. Hot anger rose up in his chest, for all the good it would do her.

He sat on the floor next to the her, his head leaning against the couch his eyes locked on Liam's ring in her fingers. Suddenly a voice broke through the silence.

_"Mom?"_

Henry! Good clever Henry. Of course he would know better than to leave his mother alone. Emma sat up, a cold mask covering her features in an instant.

_"Granny made grilled cheese for everyone,"_ the boy offered with a smile.

Emma nodded and stood, setting the ring down on the couch as she moved to follow Henry.

Killian's heart clenched as the ring slipped forgotten into the couch cushions and everything went dark again.

"NO!" He cried. "This all you got? You think your little stories will break me, demon? Well think again you absolut-" His mouth slammed shut and Hades appeared in front of him.

"Where are your manners? I give you a glimpse into the future of the woman you love and all you can do is scream at me."

"Why are you playing games," Killian seethed. "What do you want?"

"Entertainment. Do you have any idea how boring eternity is. Look you'd rather live in the past, fine, I don't mind watching reruns. You control your own fate down here. Think about it, whatever you like, your most precious memory, live inside it for all I care.

"Why the bloody hell would I tell you what is precious to me?"

"Then spend eternity in the dark," Hades grumbled, and with a flick of his hand he was gone.

* * *

There were no clocks here, there were stars, the only light afforded him in this prison. For it was a prison. There were no chains but he walked for what must have been hours, days perhaps? and nothing… nothing changed. A wall was always at his back, nothing in front of him, no matter how long he walked. The stars didn't shift, the sun didn't rise … just an endless dusky grey.

He kept his mind carefully blank for as long as he could but when he slipped the world was thrown into raging color. The sound of Emma sobbing his name haunted him endlessly. Finally, when he thought he couldn't take it anymore he cracked, allowing himself the tiniest luxury. He forced his mind back to a moment. A simple moment. Nothing earth shattering for he feared to give Hades access to such things. A morning kiss, he had brought her coffee and she smiled. He relived that moment in his mind, over and over, her smile a blessed relief from the endless sobs that had been haunting his mind.

But then her smile fell, and she seemed distracted as they walked. He tried to remember if it had been like that before. No, he specifically chose this moment for her smile… Her beautiful smile. He was sure it had been there only a moment ago but now she crinkled her nose when she tried the coffee. "_Didn't I ask for hot chocolate?_" she said, her tone irritated.

_No. It hadn't been like that, it hadn't. _ He told himself over and over again but try as he might he couldn't remember her smile now. _Memories were not safe here_, he realized, a tendril of dread curling in the pit of his stomach. They shift, ever so slightly, moment by moment until he can't quite recall what was truth and what was halucination. He turned his attention to the stars, forcing himself to count them instead to keep his mind away from his most precious memories… but when he started to do so the stars began to fade, one by one as he counted them.

Then he was sitting next to a campfire, teaching Henry to use a sextant in the firelight. He closed his eyes, trying to push the memory away, away where it would be safe but the vision danced before his closed eyes regardless.

"_Stop pretending to be my father, you're not my father!"_

_"I would never try to repla-"_

_"I wish you were gone instead of him." _

The sentiment hit him like a ton of bricks in the gut, but he could hardly be angry. It wasn't wrong for a boy to wish for his father back…

_"Why didn't you save him? You should have. If you weren't so busy flirting with my mom maybe I would still have my dad. But all you care about is yourself."_

_"I could change, Henry, for you."_

_"It's too late."_

_No, no, no it hadn't been like that, it couldn't have been like that. _He sank to the ground, his head falling into his hand as he tried to block out the images.

* * *

He sat like that for an endless moment. Hours, days, it didn't matter down here, until suddenly a voice broke through.

"Hook?"

His head snapped up to see Emma kneeling in front of him.

"Emma," he whispered, "Love, what are you doing here?" She was dressed all in white, an angel; a bloody beacon of light in this horrible place.

"I came to thank you," she said with a small smile. "For what you did for us. If you hadn't it would have had to be me. And I don't belong in a place like this. So thank you." She stood and he scrambled to his feet reaching for her hand.

"Emma? Emma wait!"

"I have to go Hook, I have a whole life waiting for me remember! My future."

"Emma don't go…" He bit his tongue for a moment before finally he couldn't stand it. "Emma, please. Don't leave me here alone."

"But you belong here, Hook." She said, her beautiful eyes confused. "If anyone deserves to go to the underworld it's you, remember?"

"Aye, I remember."

She pulled away, dropping his hand as she moved back towards the light, vanishing without looking back. _She was right_, he realized. He belonged here in the dark, surrounded by the memories of his darkness, of his failings.

He wasn't sure how long he stayed half-frozen repeating the words over and over in his head.

_You belong here. _

_You belong here. _

_You belong here. _

But there was a time when she wasn't so cold, wasn't there? He searched his tainted memories, finding his final moments with her.

_"I love you_" he'd told her.

_"I know, but I have to let you go." _

He shook his head in frustration. _No, no this is wrong. This is so wrong. _

"Why do you call for me Hook?" She was kneeling in front of him again. His gaze slipped to her neck where his ring had once hung, but no longer.

"I love you." he whispered, "You loved me too… once."

She smiled, but not a true smile. More like… a sympathetic grimace, "you think so?"

"I know so."

"Why would you think that?" she asked him.

"You told me."

"When did I tell you that?"

He searched his memories again, but the moments were lost. "I don't know. But I know you did."

"Hook, you're lonely. I understand, really, but you can't keep calling me back down here. I have to live my life now."

"Tell me how long it has been, where you are?"

"It doesn't matter anymore."

She was gone again before he could ask her to stay, before he could grab her hand and beg for her to leave him with a smile, to leave him some of her light in this darkness.

He couldn't remember her smile anymore.

He'd searched through every moment of his memories over and over by now, and it was gone. So was her laugh, her kiss. He knew there must have been kisses, he knew… but he couldn't remember them now.

* * *

The next time she came to him he didn't even look up. He buried his head deeper into his arms, rocking away from her, desperate to avoid the ice in her eyes. The false sympathy on her lips.

She said nothing at first, bending and touching his shoulder gently. He flinched away, scrambling to his feet and backing up against the wall.

"You shouldn't be here," he murmured. "I belong here. You don't belong here, I belong here"

"Hook, look at me."

"You have to go, You have a life, a future. I belong here."

"Killian, please. Look at me." He looked up, still not quite meeting her eyes. She brought up one hand, brushing his cheek gently.

"I know, you don't have to tell me anymore. I'm where I belong. I'm okay. " He chuckled slightly, something more than a little mad in the sound. "I'm great, in fact. Please just go."

"You belong with _me_," she insisted.

He closed his eyes and shook his head. "Please don't do this… I'll be good…just please. Don't pretend to be her."

"Killian it _is_ me." Her eyes were bright with moisture and she grabbed his hand clutching it to her with both hands. "Please… come back to me."

Something cold brushed his hand and he opened his eyes. She held his hand pressed to her and his fingers brushed something metallic. A ring, hanging on a silver chain. He took the ring in his fingers turning it over and over between his thumb and forefinger.

"Emma?"

She dove forward and pressed her lips to his, so warm, so much warmer than anything in this half-lit world. He froze, stunned for a moment and then his other arm hooked around her waist and pulled her tighter. The hand clenching the ring around her neck dropped it and she felt fingers in her hair. He pulled away in amazement, eyes searching her face.

"I know your kiss…" he whispered.

She smiled, a true smile that lit up her whole face before she kissed him again, her arms draping behind his neck and pulling him closer, closer. She could feel the moment he truly remembered, his kiss changed, passive and soft one moment to hard and desperate the next. His fingers tightened in her hair, pulling her closer, begging for more. His hook pressed into her back in a way that might have been painful if she weren't so relieved. He gasped for breath, leaning his forehead into hers for a moment, his fingers coming free of her hair to cup her face, his thumb brushing lightly across her cheek.

"You found me."

**"Always."**


	80. Lee

_**Yes, I'm still here. Sorry I've been so out of commission. Real life has been weird lately and I've had neither time nor inspiration for writing. I'll get back on board soon enough! Here is a late CSSS present for captainswanslay (already posted on tumblr!) . I wrote fluff! Daddy Killian and family feels await! **_

* * *

"Killian?" Emma asked quietly from the doorway. He was sitting on the couch, fingers drifting back and forth over the tip of his hook, eyes distant.

"Killian," she repeated, louder, a touch of worry creeping into her voice.

He returned from the underworld with a heart that beat in time with hers and her hand clenched tight in his. He had moved his few belongings into her house… their house. But a part of him was still not home. It wasn't until she knelt in front of him that he finally started, his eyes abruptly focusing on her face.

"Emma, are you all right?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing," she whispered, her hand moving to brush his cheek. "Did you hear me, I was … calling for you."

"I'm sorry love. I was only… thinking."

"About what?" She moved to sit next to him, her hand automatically reaching to take his.

He smiled halfheartedly, "How best to convince your lad to change my talking phone from singing 'come sail away' at me every time the bloody thing rings."

"I can change it if you want but…" she sighed, "Killian please … You don't have to tell me but don't lie to me."

His smile fell and he rubbed his thumb over her fingers gently. "I'm sorry, Emma, you're right of course."

"Do you want to tell me the truth?" she asked carefully. "Killian, tell me how I can help you."

"If there's a chance…" He squeezed her fingers, "I think… I may need to do this on my own."

Her eyes fell sadly, "You've been so… distant, Killian. I know things have been difficult but…"

He shook his head, "I'm sorry I've not been entirely focused these last few days. I've something on my mind. Just give me… some time. I will tell you, but I need some time."

She nodded, her eyebrows still furrowed in concern. "This has nothing to do with you, sweetheart. I swear it. It's something in my past that I must deal with."

"Are you in any danger?" she asked softly, her grip on his hand tightening.

His eyes widened in surprise "Oh… oh no, love. It's not like that at all. It's… I've done many things in my life that I am not proud of. My … visit to the underworld brought into sharp relief some of my more regrettable decisions. There may be one I can … well I can't fix it. But perhaps I can make it a bit better."

He moved to stand but Emma stood with him, keeping a tight grip on his hand. "Killian look at me… You know, I love you, no matter what you've done?"

"You don't know the half of what I've done."

"I know what kind of a man you are now. That's what matters to me. When you want to tell me, I'll be here."

He pulled her closer and kissed her gently, his fingers slipping out of her grip to brush into her hair.

"I love you too," he murmured.

* * *

When he arrived at the library Belle had left out all the records from the previous night on the table that had been his home for the last few days.

"Who is it you're looking for?" she asked as he sank back into his chair, looking somewhat overwhelmed at the stack of town census records that seemed to have multiplied rather than diminished since he set himself to the task of going through them.

"A ghost," he replied with a sigh. "I don't even know if he's here in Storybrooke. The place is a lot bigger than I realized."

Belle smiled, "Well, an entire realm of people were swept into one town," she replied.

"I bloody noticed."

"Let me help you," she asked again, "Killian this is torture, making me watch you do research every day and not helping. I need a puzzle, something to take my mind off of…" she trailed off and Killian glanced up at her sympathetically.

"If I tell you what I'm looking for am I going to have to tell you why?" he asked her.

Belle grinned and sank down in the chair across from him, shaking her head. Killian couldn't help but smile at her eagerness.

"His name was Liam, he'd be… about Henry's age now, I suppose, perhaps younger."

"Is there a last name to go with that?"

Killian raised his eyebrows and she sighed, "No more questions… got it."

They spent the rest of the day pouring through census records, hospital records. For a cursed town, Storybrooke had incredibly extensive records. They looked for Liams and Williams and every derivative of the name they could think of, but none of them were the proper age. By the time the sunset on another futile day Killian was nearing the end of his patience when a sound broke through the silence:

_On board I'm the captain, so climb aboard…We'll search for tomorrow on every shore…._

"Damn thing," Killian muttered searching his pockets for the offending device.

_And I'll try, oh Lord, I'll try to carry on…_

He finally found his phone and resisted the impulse to put his hook through it for long enough to answer.

"Aye?"

"Hey, Killian," Henry's voice was cheery and Killian grimaced.

"You'd better be calling to tell me how to change that bloody singing" Killian grumbled.

"Nope!" Henry replied and Killian could practically hear the boy's smirk. "Mom wants you to come home for dinner, but she didn't want to call you because she's supposed to be giving you some time. So I'm calling you instead because she gets a little scary when she's grumpy."

"Henry!" Emma's voice broke in distantly, and Killian chuckled.

"Aye lad, thank you, I'll be home soon."

He hung up the phone with a wry smile on his face and looked over to where Belle was closing up one of the books she was finished with.

"I can change the ringtone if you want," she offered with a smile but Killian shook his head.

"Thank you for your assistance. It seems my presence is desired at home."

Belle's smile fell and Killian cocked his head to one side. "Would you like to come over for dinner, lass? It's really the least I can offer after you've been so helpful."

"I wouldn't want to interpose," she said, with the wave of her hand. "I'll just go to Granny's. I've been staying there anyway.

"I am sorry, love. You know I've no love for the crocodile but…"

"He made his choice," she interrupted, "and I made mine."

"Come then, lass, we'd love to have you."

"Are you sure?" Belle asked

"Cross me heart. Do me one favor though… show me how to text the lad?"

* * *

When they arrived at the house it was to the sound of sizzling meat and vegetables. Emma and Henry were in the kitchen cooking up what smelled like fajitas.

"Belle!" Henry called excitedly when they walked in, coming over to give her a tight hug that probably got grease all over her colorful blouse. She didn't seem to mind though.

"Oy, I'm here too," Killian grumbled teasingly.

"Want me to serenade you with Come Sail Away?" Henry asked, and Killian ruffled the boy's hair affectionately.

"Think I've had about enough of that one," he said. He moved behind Emma and wrapped his arms around her from behind.

"Killian, I am trying to cook here!" she laughed.

"And I'm trying to express my boundless love and devotion to the other half of my heart."

Emma smacked at him playfully with a spatula and he caught it with one hand, spinning her around to plant a kiss on her lips.

"Guuuuys," Henry complained loudly, "Seriously it's been like 7 hours since you last saw each other."

"Too long" Emma whispered, Killian grinned and returned the spatula to the pan to take over browning the meat. Emma slipped out of his grip and called over to Henry, "Well maybe if you were setting the table instead of gawking at us you wouldn't be sooooo traumatized."

Fajitas turned out delicious (even though Killian almost let the meat burn) and before long there were nothing but empty dishes to contend with. Soon after dinner Henry disappeared into another room with Belle to show her one of his new video games and Killian was forearms deep in soapy water his hook and brace set carefully next to the sink while he washed up.

"How was work, love," Killian asked handing Emma a dish to dry.

"Well we still have seven dwarves, so I think that's a sign that things are fine for the time being. How about you, did you find what you were looking for at the library?"

"How did you know I was there?" he asked.

"Belle doesn't really go much of anywhere else these days. So … did you?"

"Not yet," he admitted, handing her the last dish and then taking her towel to dry off. "I've been looking for someone in the town documents. But nothing so-."

"In the town documents? You mean like the census reports?" Emma broke in.

"Aye."

"Why?" He hesitated and Emma shook her head, "I mean why there."

"Well if someone is in town wouldn't they have to be there?"

"Most of them," Emma commented, but who knows… they could be under any name. You'd never find anyone that way."

"I… I didn't think of that."

"Killian … This is what I did. I found people for a living. Let me help you? Who are you looking for?"

He led her to the couch as he strapped his brace back into place.

"It's … it's not something I'm proud of."

"I told you Killian. I just want to help you."

"I told you about how, when I was a lad, my father abandoned us on the high seas. Well that … wasn't the last time our paths crossed."

"You found him?"

"Regina did. I was to kill him as proof that my heart was as cold as it seemed. But when I spoke to him…well I determined to get him transport papers instead. It was then he told me that he had another son." Emma's mouth dropped open slightly but she said nothing. "I procured the papers and brought them to my father that very night. But when I arrived he was telling his boy the same story, the same lies he told me the day he abandoned us. And he …" Killian looked away, "he named the boy Liam."

"Oh God," Emma murmured.

"Aye, apparently my brother was just that easy to replace. I realized in that moment that he hadn't changed. It was only a matter of time before he abandoned this son too. So… I decided to give this unknown brother of mine a parting gift. The ability to pretend he was wanted. I took his father, my father, watched him bleed out in the mud. And then I left." He swallowed hard, still not looking at Emma. "I made an orphan of my own brother… I need to know if he's all right. If there's anything I can do for the boy, to make his life an easier one than mine was."

"We'll find him," Emma said, squeezing his hand. "He's family, and family always finds each other."

* * *

In the end, it shouldn't have surprised him that Emma made more progress before lunch the next day Killian had in days combing through census records, hospital records and every kind of dry dusty paperwork he could find.

Emma managed to catch Grumpy immediately after he'd had his bacon, (likely the best time of day for anyone to speak with Grumpy anyway)

Top secret investigation, she told him, not a word to anyone else, but she trusted his observational skills above all others. She had to kick Killian under the table when he choked on his drink, but somehow she managed to keep a straight face. Killian even commented that he'd been willing to pay off Granny's tab for anyone who could find the boy, but alas…. no takers yet.

Naturally, by the time they finished breakfast the whole town knew she was looking for a blue eyed boy around Henry's age with no parents of his own. Killian was considering asking Granny just exactly how much bacon was on Grumpy's tab. He accompanied Emma back to the station and eventually something happened which had never yet happened in Storybrooke… Killian Jones was _happy_ to see Grumpy come barging into the station sometime around mid afternoon.

"You better be able to pay up, pirate," Grumpy insisted loudly in lieu of a greeting.

"It's only been a few hours Leroy…" Emma commented, "and you mean to tell me you've found him already."

"I know people," Grumpy insisted and Emma raised her eyebrows shooting a look at Killian who sat very still leaned against the edge of her father's vacant desk.

"Who exactly do you know," Killian asked doubtfully.

"I happen to be on excellent terms with the fairie-"

"The fairies?" Killian broke in, "I already asked the fairies-"

"Got a good relationship with them, do you pirate?" Grumpy shot back

Emma shot him a look and he quieted. "Nova? She knows something?"

To Killian's surprise, Leroy's face turned decidedly pink before he could grumble out his response.

"Yeah, she just helped relocate a kid matching that description a couple days ago."

"Relocate?" Emma asked.

"He doesn't stay long in one place apparently."

"Where is he now?" Killian asked.

"He got moved out to a couple that lives out by the town line. Guess they thought he'd be less likely to run away again if running meant leaving town entirely. Makes sense I guess. I swear… Dopey still smells like tree…" He handed Emma a slip of paper and glanced over at Killian.

"Yes, yes dwarf, if your information is good I will hold up my end."

The door slammed behind Leroy and Emma looked at the piece of paper in her hand then handed it to him.

"You ready for this, Killian?"

"Not remotely, let's go."

Killian was unusually quiet in the car staring down at the piece of paper in his hand.

"I have no idea what to say to the boy," he finally admitted quietly. "What the bloody hell am I doing…. Turn around Swan, this is madness."

"No."

"What? Swan, I killed his father. He doesn't want to see me."

"You don't know that."

"Swan-"

"I am driving you to that house and we are knocking on that door. Once you have seen him you can turn around and walk away if you like, but not a moment before."

The car came to a stop and Killian didn't move. Emma reached out to Killian and laid her hand on his forearm.

"You've looked for him, Killian. Trust me, that will mean something to him, even if he hates you. You can give him that."

He nodded and stepped out of the car, following a step behind as Emma walked up the path and rang the doorbell. There was silence for a moment and then the door swung open, a frazzled looking middle aged woman threw open the door her head cocked at an odd angle to hold the phone to her ear.

"Now is not a good time-" she started, moving to close the door. Emma moved her foot forward to keep the door from closing.

"I'm the sheriff, perhaps I can help with something?"

"Locking him up is probably about the only thing you _can_ do to help. They told me he was prone to running but he's been here less than a week!"

"When did he leave?" Emma asked.

"Just a few minutes ago. He threw a vase across the room and I sent him to his room, he must have climbed out the window."

"Show me?" Emma asked and the woman pointed around the side of the house where a second floor window was indeed left open.

"Where the bloody hell is he going," Killian asked, "there's nothing here to run to."

"He's not running to anything," Emma said, her voice tight. "He's running away."

"The town line," Killian filled in with an exasperated look, "of course."

Emma nodded and they both took off in a sprint in the direction of the town line. When they caught up with the boy he was paused no more than 10 feet from the line staring out over the road.

"Wait," Emma called, "Hey, kid, you don't want to do this."

The boy spun his eyes blazing. "You don't know anything about what I want," he hissed.

"You'd be surprised." Killian stepped forward then, hands raised slightly. The boy was smaller than he remembered, younger than he thought he'd be. Hoped he'd be.

"You…" The boy's eyes landed on him and narrowed slightly. "I know your voice."

"Aye, you do, lad."

"You killed him," the boy dropped his backpack and charged at Killian only to be stopped abruptly when Emma dove forward and grabbed his wrist spinning him towards her instead.

"Listen kid, take a breath, I'm the sheriff, I really can't let you kill Killian. Town laws and such…"

"Liam-" Killian tried but the boy spun towards him again.

"That's not my name," he growled.

"Yeah?" Emma asked, "So what is your name, unless you prefer kid?"

"Lee. I go by Lee now."

"Lee…" Killian repeated. "There's nothing I can say to make this right, Lee, I know that now. I don't expect your forgiveness. But I had to find you, I had to see if you were alright. I know how difficult it can be, growing up without your father."

"Don't talk to me about my father," Lee seethed.

Killian nodded, "Fair enough, but I need you to know one thing before you cross that line. I'm sorry. I thought… I thought he meant to leave you behind as he did me. Maybe I was wrong, maybe I wasn't but either way I shouldn't have taken him from you. I took away your family and I will regret that every day."

"Feel better now?" Lee commented, rolling his eyes.

"No," Killian replied. "But this isn't about me."

"All right Lee, Emma broke in. "I know this is weird, I know you want to get the hell out of this town, but it doesn't have to be like this."

"Oh really? Got some other place lined up for me. Some other old couple who couldn't have kids and who will always hate that I don't have their great uncle Brendon's eyes?"

"No lad, you have your brother's eyes… your f-" Killian broke off abruptly and Emma stepped forward.

"Look kid, I'm not going to try to tell you that he did the right thing. Every one of us here knows that isn't true. But Killian is a good man. And he's trying to do the right thing now. So here's what's going to happen. You can leave, you can run away and leave the only family that you have left behind and never know if it's a family you could have belonged to. Or you can stay, and give us a chance."

"Move in with you?" Lee asked, surprised, glancing at Killian suspiciously.

"You have a family now Lee," Emma told him, "but you have to choose to give us a chance. Or you can keep running away. Trust me, that path is not a lot of fun."

"How would you know?" Lee asked.

"I've climbed out of a window or two in my time."

He was quiet for a moment and then he turned back to Emma.

"Would I get my own room?"

"As long as you keep it clean," Emma responded with a smile.

The tension was thick during the car ride back to town, all of Lee's belongings fit in a single box in the backseat next to him and he had a wild eyed look when they pulled up to her house like he was looking for the nearest exit. She knew the feeling.

Killian moved to carry the box for him but Lee snatched it out of his hands defensively and hurried up the steps.

"It's okay Killian." Emma said quietly, "It's … it's all he has."

"You're so good with him," Killian muttered, "I can't even talk to him."

"I've been him," Emma chuckled, lacing her fingers through his reassuringly. "Just give him time. Him even agreeing to stay here is a huge step."

He moved hesitantly in the house and Emma led the way to what had been made into a guest bedroom on the ground floor, it was cold and impersonal, they hadn't really expected a permanent resident, but Liam's eyes widened as he took in the space.

"Why don't you get unpacked?" Emma asked when Lee just stood in the center of the room clutching his box.

"I don't have much," he shrugged, setting the box on his bed. "The box is fine."

"Unpack, kid, this is your room now. Make it yours."

"I'm not a kid," he objected.

"I know." She shrugged, "I'm probably going to call you kid anyway. You'll get used to it."

* * *

The first two weeks were awkward beyond belief. Liam got along well with Henry and seemed to enjoy talking with Emma but the moment Killian entered the room he grew quiet instantly. He'd retreat to another room to read one of the many books Belle had offered when she realized he enjoyed reading or leave to play Mario kart with Henry.

"He is trying, you know," Henry commented in between races one evening.

Lee rolled his eyes, "Your mom put you up to this?"

"No," Henry retorted, "I just think you might like him if you gave him a chance."

"You don't understand," Lee grumbled.

Henry laughed, "My other mom was the evil queen, I think I understand."

So what? I'm just supposed to … play Mario Kart with the guy, would that fix things?"

"He's terrible at Mario kart, and he broke two remotes hitting the Z button too enthusiastically…"

This got a laugh from Lee.

"Hey… have you ever been sailing?" Henry asked.

Lee shook his head and Henry grinned. "Ask him to take you sailing. He feels so guilty I bet he'll even let you steer on the first day. He made me wait 3 weeks."

Lee chuckled, "will you come?"

"Someone's gotta make sure you don't push him overboard."

They finished their race and went back into the kitchen where Emma was making hot chocolate for everyone. For the first time, when Killian came into the kitchen, Liam didn't make an excuse to leave.

It took him most of a cup of cocoa to work up the nerve to say something and finally Henry breached the subject for him, asking if tomorrow would be a good day for sailing.

"Looks like it," Killian responded, " Would you like to go out?"

"Do I have to wear a life jacket?" Henry asked.

"Aye, lad, as always."

Henry grumbled to himself and kicked Liam under the table.

"Ow!… I umm… Do you think I could come along too?" Lee asked quietly.

Hook choked on his cocoa and Emma covered her laugh with one he finally got his coughing under control he nodded eagerly, "of course, lad. Sailing mornings start early though."

"I can handle it," Liam retorted.

* * *

Being aboard the Jolly with Henry again was more than literally a breath of fresh air to Killian. Despite Emma's reassurances that he was doing fine and just to 'give him time,' he'd felt very much out of place the last few weeks with Liam… Lee living in their home. But now, back aboard the Jolly….

He'd asked Emma to come with them but she'd made some excuse about paperwork and told him that he'd do fine. Never was he more grateful for Henry's exuberance to break the tension. Henry manned the helm and Lee watched sleepily from a distance. They were nearly out of sight of land before the sun rose and Lee was finally starting to look more alert (and more than a little ill.)

_Great_, Killian thought, _the first time the boy has asked to spend time with me and it makes him physically ill._

"How you feeling, lad. You look as though your sea legs aren't quite under you?"

"I'm fine."

"You're white as a sheet is what you are. And no wonder, is this your first time aboard a ship?"

"Does a rowboat count?"

"Certainly not."

"Then I guess it is. My dad didn't like boats"

Killian raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Well I can help with that. When I was a boy I didn't have much love for the waves either. My elder brother he taught me to watch the horizon." Killian pointed out towards the east where the sun was just beginning to brighten the sky. "Keep your eyes there, lad, just next to where the sun is about to rise. It'll put you right."

Between Killian's advice and a can of ginger ale that Henry had stashed in his backpack, Lee was soon feeling back to normal.

"You've got the sea in your blood after all," Killian commented when Lee mimicked the knot he had just been shown perfectly.

"So all of this… sailing stuff did you learn this from my… from our father."," Liam started cautiously… "When I mentioned my father not liking boats you were surprised."

"You're a perceptive one, aren't you" Killian glanced down at the boy cautiously, "I thought… that you'd rather I didn't speak of our father."

"Maybe I don't mind so much."

"Well… he … he left when I was very young. Most of what I learned of the sea I learned from my brother.."

"Your brother… you mean Liam? Is he here in Storybrooke too?"

"I'm afraid not. He died, many years ago. Did your father tell you that you were named for him?"

Lee shook his head, "I overheard you talking to my father … that night." Killian opened his mouth to speak but for once was at a loss for words. "I stopped using the name Liam that day," he admitted. "Father said he did it to honor him… Liam, but… if it was meant to honor someone shouldn't he have told me?"

"Perhaps he would have… in time."

Lee shook his head. "I don't think telling me about the kids he abandoned was high on his list of priorities. But maybe sometime you could… tell me about Liam?"

"I would like that lad, very much."

They stayed out until nearly midday when Killian suggested that returning for lunch at Granny's might be more palatable than what he kept aboard the ship and Henry gave Lee a knowing look when Killian offered to let him guide the ship back to shore.

* * *

Henry and Killian had been known to spend all day on the water so the early call from Henry had made Emma wonder if things hadn't gone well with Lee. Emma walked into Granny's with butterflies in her stomach, but to her delight she saw all three were talking animatedly over milkshakes in a corner booth. She slid in next to Killian and took his hand under the table squeezing it gently as both boys flew into an excited description of their adventures out on the water.

Their home was louder now, the sound of video games or loud conversations from the boys the occasional crash of something breaking followed by a call of 'sorry… i'm okay.' Their days were busier, quiet moments now filled with a chaotic domestic life that made the moments at the end of the day when the boys were tucked safely in bed all the more precious to them both.

Killian wrapped his arms around Emma, pulling her tighter to him.

"Thank you," he murmured, pressing a soft kiss to the back of her neck.

"Mmmm, for what," Emma replied drowsily.

"Everything. For bringing me home, for opening your home to Lee. For being so good with him…

Emma turned in his arms and pressed closer, "It's your home too now," she reminded him, "and it seems like you've made a lot of progress with him too. He likes to sail?"

Killian chuckled, "It doesn't make him quite as sick as it did that first day… but he'll get his sea legs soon enough. Sea's in his blood same as mine."

"Killian can I ask you something?"

"Course, love."

"The other day when I was making breakfast I … I accidentally called him Liam."

"I thought he didn't like that," Killian asked stiffly.

"It's his name, Killian. The only thing he has left that his father gave him. And even that isn't really his." Killian sighed and brushed his fingers through Emma's hair. "He's a good kid, Killian. Maybe his father gave him that name for the wrong reasons… but you… you can give it back to him for the right reasons. Just… just think about it?"

"I'll try," He replied. "Can I tell you a secret, Swan?"

"I love secrets."

"You're incredible."

Emma laughed, snuggling tighter into his arms with a contented sigh. "That's not a secret, Killian."

* * *

It took him several days to work up the courage to broach the subject of Liam's name, but finally Emma gave him the opportunity by insisting that she needed some one on one time with Henry so she would walk him to Regina's this time.

Like ripping off a bandaid, he finally decided. "Lee, I've been meaning to talk to you about something," he started hesitantly.

Instantly the boys face fell and he took a step back.

Killian's stomach dropped at the look of resignation that flashed across the boys face.

"You don't have to."

"What-" Killian stuttered, "Lee I didn't-"

"I get it. I'll pack up," he said and Killian's eyes widened.

"Do you… want to leave?" he asked, hesitantly.

"This was nice. It was like a vacation."

"Lee, what are you talking about-"

"Hey, I'll even leave a note sayin' that if you want."Then she can use the room again with no-"

"LIAM!" Killian interrupted abruptly, finally realizing what all this was about. "Liam I'm not asking you to leave. Why would you- If I've ever done anything to make you feel unwelcome here, I can only beg your forgiveness and perhaps that is something you can forgive me for."

Liam looked shocked and there was a moment of heavy silence before he spoke. "I thought… I mean you've already got Henry and eventually you'll be having your own kids and you'll need the space so…"

Killian knelt in front of Liam placing his good hand on the boy's shoulder and squeezing tightly, "I want you to listen to me, lad and listen carefully. I will not send you away. Not ever, do you understand?"

Tears filled the boy's eyes and Killian winced, wondering what he'd said wrong this time, but before he could raise his hand to wipe away his tears Liam had thrown himself forward, latching his arms around Killian's neck. Killian rocked back in surprise, but closed his arms around Liam's shaking shoulders as hot tears dampened his tunic. "Hey, lad, it's allright. You're home now."

Finally Liam pulled away, wiping his eyes with his sleeve self-consciously. "If not that… what did you want to talk to me about?"

Killian smiled, "I only hoped you might allow me to use your given name."

Liam looked surprised, "Really? I thought because of what my father did-"

"Your father gave you Liam's name to assuage his own conscience. I ask if you would keep the name, because my brother would be honored to know that his name is now carried by a young man so good and so strong as you."

Liam's eyes filled again but this time no tears fell as he nodded his agreement and Killian smiled.

"Liam, right. So Liam, what would you say to hot chocolate at Granny's? If I were a betting man I would place my money on Swan and Henry being at Granny's. I'm pretty certain they left to give us a chance to talk."

"You _are_ a betting man."

"So I am. Dish duty for a week then?"

"No way!"

Killian looked slightly put out. "Why not?"

"Henry just texted me," Liam held up his phone with a smirk, "they've already ordered."


	81. Lift me from this Place (1 of 3)

**_Lift me from this place (in 3 parts)_**

_Cowritten with lynyrdwrites ! Title comes from the song Full of Grace. Break your hearts and look up the CS video for it!_

_For those of you that remember, we had quite the long rolling headcanon conversation with xhookswenchx and nothingimpossibleonlyimprobable based on my initial comment: "I'm sure there won't be any ff over the hiatus that deals with the fact that the average ambulance response time is like 5 to 10 minutes on the low end... So that's oh… 5 to 10 minutes Emma clung to Killian before they carried him away. This spiraled absolutely out of control until voila, it metamorphosed into one of my classic, what happens next hiaus hypothesis fics. Enjoy :) And by enjoy I mean suffer though and hope for a happy ending. Because that's my style these days!_

* * *

_**Part 1: All of the strength and all of the courage**_

The cry has escaped his lips before he can bite back the sound. It's over, he tells himself, relief joining the pain coursing through his veins. His head falls onto her shoulder… but it's not right. Her hair... still stark white against the black leather. He can feel it, not just the sword and the way she trembles, or maybe it is he that trembles… He can feel the darkness. The magic coursing through his veins ebbing away, being drawn back into the sword with the flow of his blood. But her darkness… Panic rises, and desperation gives him the strength to raise his head and turn his lips ever so slightly toward her ear, a few whispered words all the strength he can offer her.

"Let go, Emma."

She resists still, clinging to the darkness desperately as it fights to escape her grip. Knowing the instant she lets it go, she loses all hope of fixing this, of saving him. Killian forces his head up and brings his hand to cup her face, pressing his forehead to hers.

"Let me see you," he whispers, "please." He brushes his thumb gently along her too pale skin and then he feels it, her darkness joins the rest trapped in the sword. Her magic breaks through, nearly blinding him even through closed eyes.

When he opens his eyes she's _Emma_ again and he brushes his fingers back into her hair, the relief nearly overwhelming. "Almost done, love." His words are barely more than a breath on her cheek and she lets out another choked sob. When she moves it's fast, so fast that he can not help the startled groan as Excalibur crumbles to dust in her hands.

_Thank you._

He tries to say the words but they come out a strangled gasp. A moment later she is in his arms again, or he is in hers, and as his knees buckle she crumples too.

He wants to remember her joy, her smile, her laughter... But he wants to remember this too, her love, her strength, her sobs desperate in his ear, her tears hot on his cheeks, the feeling or her hair brushing his skin.

_Thank you_, he whispers again. _Thank you. Thank you_. He whispers the words over and over, and he's not sure if she can hear them over the sound of her whimpering.

"No, Killian, please. Don't go. Please."

_I'm sorry._

* * *

When he woke he _ached_. Every part of him sore and wearied as though he'd been in a particularly unpleasant bar fight. He groaned, raising his left hand to run his fingers through his hair but something stopped him. A gentle pressure on his wrist.

He started, eyes flying open. But it was nothing. Just her.

"You're going to give yourself another scar." Her words are soft and sleep muffled but she doesn't release her grip on his wrist.

"You love my scars, Milah" he mumbled, rolling over and opening one eye. She's dressed but her hair is still mussed from sleep, a wild dark tangle that begged him to run his fingers through it.

"Doesn't mean I want you to ruin that pretty face of yours," she retorted with a grin, letting him pull her back down onto the bed.

"What happened," he wondered out loud. "I feel like I've been hit by a… by a…"

"Words failing you, love? That must be a first."

He tried to remember, what kind of exertion the previous day had left him feeling so out of sorts this morning, but nothing stood out. Yesterday had just been a day, a normal day, like every other since he moved to this town with Milah.

"I have to get to work," Milah groaned next to him, shifting to leave the warmth of their bed. He grinned, turning to grab her wrist and no sooner had she pulled herself from the bed, he'd dragged her back down. "Kiss me goodbye," he teased, using his best 'captain's orders' tone.

"You know I don't like saying goodbye," she said, rolling her eyes.

"I know, love."

She leaned closer, her fingers tracing his jaw with a light touch. "I love you," she said quietly.

"That doesn't sound like goodbye to you?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

She kissed his lips gently with eyebrows furrowed before she shook her head.

"I missed you." The words slipped past his lips before he'd really had time to think about them and he couldn't really blame her look of confusion.

"What are you talking about, Hook?"

"I just…" He shook his head and a half-hearted grin came over his face like a mask, "Well, isn't a man allowed to miss his lover when she sneaks out of his bed at such an absurd hour?"

"You're going to be late too if you don't hurry."

"I don't care," he grumbled.

"Yes, you do," she retorted.

He sighed melodramatically and kissed her hand before releasing it, "I'll see you tonight."

She nodded, "Tonight."

Milah hurried down the stairs, late as always, but Hook did always seem to make her so. She had to run, but she made it to her post a full 35 seconds before they were due to leave and she allowed herself a private smile before beginning her head count. _...11, 12, 13, 14, 15. _

_15\. _

Good.

_1, 2, 3, 4, 5_... "Line up everyone, don't want to leave anyone behind now do we!"_ ...13, 14,15. _

"All right everyone," she called finally, "shall we go on an adventure?"

The kids groaned, and she caught mutterings about how not adventurous a walk to school was and she spun on them.

"Don't be ridiculous!" She called back, "today could be the day a dragon attacks the marina! You never know."

She counted three more times before they'd gotten a block from their stop, a nervous clenching in the pit of her stomach warning her over and over that she'd left someone behind. But there were 15. Still 15.

As it turned out there was no dragon attack at the marina. There never was, which she supposed was a good thing, though she couldn't help but echo the children's sentiments. Nothing exciting _ever_ happened in this town. But there were still 15 by the time she dropped them off at school and so she figured she shouldn't complain.

During the day she was relegated to paperwork. Mindless, tedious, endless paperwork. The kids check in at every class and it was her job to ensure that no one gets left behind. There was something reassuring about the work, even though at times she felt she would give anything to get free. To go anywhere else.

When she got home she collapsed into their bed exhausted, determined to get an hour or two of rest to make up for what had been chased away by vivid dreams that haunted her nights. She didn't think she'd be able to sleep with the tightness in her chest but the next thing she knew Hook was sitting on the edge of the bed and she must have fallen asleep.

"Sorry, love," he murmured, "I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's ok."

"You haven't been sleeping well." It wasn't really a question, he could read the exhaustion in her eyes.

"Neither have you."

"I'm fine."

"You're land-sick," she teased.

"What can I say," he chuckled, "I miss her. Once I have everything I need, though, we'll sail away."

His eyes grew distant and she leaned forward, "Hook… Hey? Killian?"

"Fine, love. Everything is going to be fine."

"That's not what I asked. Killian, you're doing it again. Tell me what you're thinking about?"

He smiled and rubbed his neck, "I don't know. I'm just tired."

Milah sat up and beckoned him to move closer, sliding behind him and pressing a kiss to the back of his neck. She kneaded the tight muscles of his shoulders, neck and back with a firm grip, focusing on the area that always seemed to get knotted on the days where he worked much and slept little.

She knew that he paced in the middle of the night, when he thought she was asleep. During the day, he seemed fine; as content as he ever was. But when darkness fell, he was like a specter in the home they'd built together. Sometimes, she got out of bed and watched him. His eyes - those blue eyes she knew as well as her own - appeared haunted. He used his spy glass to watch the sea, but not even that could calm whatever it is that kept him from sleep. Other times, she remained beneath the covers and screwed her eyes shut tight. She had done it as a child; closed her eyes and pretended that if she didn't look, then whatever was happening wasn't real. But his side of the bed grew cold, even when she closed her eyes, until even she could no longer pretend.

Killian was haunted by something that he would not speak to her of, and while he may be hers during the day, at night she could feel him slipping away. It was just another thing to add to her growing list of unease, right there next to that fear that she's lost one of her fifteen.

* * *

He's so cold.

Emma thinks back to all the times she's touched him - all the times she's _held_ him… and he's never felt this cold. His color is fading already, and Emma smooths his hair off of his forehead, a constant, repetitive movement of her hand over skin that's too cold into hair that just falls back onto his forehead again; as stubborn as he is.

She doesn't sob anymore, but her cheeks sting with tears that she hasn't bothered to wipe away. She hasn't pulled his jacket away from his chest. She doesn't want to see what lies beneath. The blood, the wound - it would make this all too real.

She's so immersed in him that she doesn't know if the others have moved or not. Then she hears her father's voice sounding distant. He's talking on the phone and suddenly, she's aware that she's not alone. She's aware of Robin and Regina. Of Henry and her parents. Her father's voice breaks when he says 'Coroner's Office' and her heart shatters again.

_Third time's the charm._

It's a bitter thought, and it makes another sob rise in her throat. She buries her face in his hair, his name a choked whisper.

"Please. Please come back to me. This isn't enough." _It will never be enough._

But there is no answer. She leans down and presses her lips to his forehead, and it just feels wrong. All of this is _wrong_. He's too still. He is always moving in some way - he speaks with his hand and with his hook - but now... He remains utterly still, but Emma is determined to pretend. He's asleep. Just asleep. But Emma has always kept her feet firmly in reality, and Killian has never been this cold. It refuses to let her pretend.

_Had Graham felt this cold?_

Emma can't remember. Her hands fall away from him, because touching him, it suddenly feels wrong too. This isn't Killian… Nothing that made him the man she loved is left in this shell, and she goes completely still herself.

The ambulance pulls up, and Emma blinks. She hasn't been paying attention. Had its sirens been on? Her parents are at her side in an instant, and they help her to her feet as he is lifted onto the stretcher. The paramedics begin to push him away, but Emma is caught by a maddening, impossible thought.

_True Love's Kiss._

Even as the logical part of her knows that a sword to the chest is not a sleeping curse - she pushes the paramedics aside. She runs her hands over his cheek, and leans down, pressing her lips to his.

It takes just a brush and she recoils, fighting back the bile that threatens to rise. The chill of his lips taunting her. It's not him. Not anymore.

_There is nothing._

_He's really gone._

She grips his hand, clings to him even as her legs give out. Her parents are there, holding her up when she realizes...

"Where is he, Where is Henr-"

"The words are barely out of her mouth before Henry is at her side and for a moment she is able to dispel the haze that has surrounded her since it happened -_ since she killed him_.

"This isn't how it's supposed to end," Henry whispers and Emma hugs him tight. He's shaking, and she holds him tighter. She's not sure if he is crying or if her tears have started again but in the end it doesn't matter.

* * *

_It's not enough!_

Killian's eyes flashed open and he sat up, running a hand through his hair. Milah murmured incoherently and adjusted her position next to him. Her dark hair was splayed across the pillow, and he reached out to touch the strands.

_Hair like spun gold and green eyes that see right through him._

He jolted his hand away, as though burned, and frustration welled again. There was nothing golden about Milah's hair, and her eyes were a clear grey, like the sky after the storm has cleared. They have been every morning he'd woken beside her since… since…

He got to his feet and paced down the halls. He didn't want to wake Milah, but this frustration, this sense of _something_ _wrong_, left him adrift.

"Killian?"

He spun and looked back at her. Her eyes are hazy with sleep, but they still seemed to burn him.

"Go back to bed, love." He knew his smile was weak, but he could do nothing about it. "I'll join you in a moment."

"What's wrong?" she asked instead, coming to hug her arms around him from behind. Her presence at his back was warm and comforting, and so incredibly familiar. He felt a pang of loss, but she was right here, holding him, and he understood none of this.

"I'll go to bed if you come with me," she said into his shirt.

He went, but remained awake long after her breathing had deepened once more. He stroked her hair and ignores the part of him that still feels that something is lost.

* * *

Emma can hear their hushed voices. The house Killian chose for them is large, but it echoes, and she can hear their words long after her mother helped her to bed and put a cup of chamomile tea on her bedside table. It is cold now.

The metal of the ring is kept warm by her constant grip on it. Liam's ring. The only thing left of either of them now. They'd never talked about this. Funeral arrangements. Because he was a survivor… they never…

Bits of phrases drift into her room about a wake and the funeral and _The funeral… Oh God, the funeral… _

He's a sailor.

Still, after all this time his heart is still a sailor's heart. He had told her about Liam once, how they wrapped him in a sheet, bound with rope and left him 'to the ocean's rest.'

_Is that what Killian would want?_

The bed is cold. The house is cold. Her heart is cold. And the water… the water would be so cold too…To have no place to go, not even a stone to mark where he lay? But when she hears them talking about how Marco had offered to carve the casket she snaps and shoots out of bed, knocking chamomile tea over on her way out the door.

"No!" She cried, half stumbling down the stairs. "No you can't put him in the ground, please." Snow is frozen, wide-eyed, so this time it is David that makes it to her first, catching her when she stumbles down the last few steps. "Where did they take him? Please, Daddy-" The word shatters David's resolve like a hammer through glass and he tugs Emma into him, holding the back of her head tight to his chest, his tears joining hers.

"I'll tell Marco no, ok? We won't do that to him."

It's Regina that comes up with the alternative in the end. For so long, she had kept Daniel's body in a stasis, to protect it from the ravages of time. He looks wrong, lying there, under glass like a morbid statue... but she can't bring herself to bury him in the earth or lose him to the sea. Not yet.

They do give him a stone though. She thought it might give her some comfort. A place to go. A memorial to the man who loved her more than his own life. A testament to the way he'd become a part of this town, a home port … here in this absurd place. It's large and rather dramatic, because he was rather dramatic. It's beautiful, really.

Emma detests the very sight of it.

She thought he might hate it too. Maybe he'd smile, wherever he was if she took the damn thing out on his ship and sent it to the ocean floor. A more fitting place for such a monument anyway.

She can't help but feel that she is frozen too. Day after day, night after sleepless night where more often than not she ends up on the floor of the mausoleum more certain than ever that whatever the hell Regina uses in her glass coffins isn't actually glass.

She isn't entirely certain what she would do if it ever did break… but under the power of Regina's stasis spell he looked so… normal. Just sleeping.

Her father would find her there eventually. She thought he would ask her to come home, but he never did. Instead he would sit on the floor next to her for a while, her head on his shoulder in silence.

"I'm going to get him back," she finally tells him one day when the silence grew too much for her.

"If anyone can, Emma, it's you." He presses a light kiss to her forehead. "I have to get back to Snow, she keeps threatening to repaint your living room."

Emma almost laughs, "Why?"

"She doesn't know what else to do."

"I'm sorry."

"No sweetheart, we understand."

And they did, didn't they, perhaps they were the only ones that truly could. They shared a heart.

It isn't until she is alone again that she finally notices the whispers. But it can't be. It's gone. The whispers grow more insistent and she rises to her feet slowly, one hand pressed to the glass coffin the other clenched into a fist.

_Rumplestiltskin_

* * *

Gold had screwed them all over again, and Emma wanted to rip his heart out for it. Let _him_ see what if felt like. Except he'd given her the one thing she never expected to have - the chance to save Hook.

So instead of giving into the insidious voice in the back of her mind that sounds far too much like the man that had betrayed them, she convinced him in the most polite of ways to help them.

She blackmailed him.

_Unfinished business. _

That's what he told her kept them all here. A city in between home and somewhere and nowhere. A comfortable mundane little existence going around in circles for all eternity. The thought made Emma a little ill but Snow smiled and commented that at least they weren't living the _exact_ same day again and again. ("Really, I did not think that part through," Regina commented.)

"You can't just waltz in there and drag him out, dearie," Gold warned as they make their way from Charon's boat, "if it were that simple don't you think I would have done it?" He declined to give them any more information, though, disappearing nearly as soon as they arrived in search of his own hopes. She wondered if he'd find him here. Neal. Baelfire. She shook her head, trying to stay focused.

"We need to split up," she insisted, "and when you find him just… we'll meet back at…" she waved her hand towards the Granny's-like diner though it didn't seem right to call it Granny's.

"Where are you going?" Snow asked.

"The docks. If he has any choice in the matter, he'll be there."

The docks are unexpectedly busier than the real Storybrooke, people coming and going and big ships everywhere. It made the place feel foreign, despite how familiar the boathouse was.

She spent hours walking back and forth along the docks watching every boat that came in. Looking for the Jolly Roger, eyeing each captain and huffing in irritation when it wasn't him.

"You're new?" a voice called. She turned to see a brown haired man peering down at her from one of the ships newly into port.

"Yeah?" She twisted the ring Killian had given her on its necklace nervously, wondering if anyone down here was trustworthy.

"We don't get a lot of new." He hopped off the gangplank easily to join her on the dock. "Who are you looking for, lass, maybe I can be of some aid?"

"I'm looking for… a sailor. He has dark hair, blue eyes, wears a hook on one arm. I thought his ship might be here-"

"I know most of the captain's in and out of this port, lass," The man replied, "unless the hook is a recent acquisition…"

"Maybe he's not a captain here…" she mused.

"Well, I'm afraid he's not among my crew, and I'm rarely in port so I might not have met the man. Perhaps you can describe his ship?"

"Big?" The man cocked an amused eyebrow at her and she laughed, "I'm sorry, there were yellow stripes along the um…"

"Hull?"

"Yes! You've seen it?"

"No yellow stripes around here. But maybe it's been dry docked for repairs? Have you checked the boathouse? The boys who work repairs aren't often out on the water so perhaps he's there?"

"Thanks," Emma interrupted, hurrying toward the boathouse. She was amazed when she opened the door that the place was brimming with activity and she wondered not for the first time where all these ships sailed to in the underworld.

Suddenly she saw a familiar glint of metal on a worker's hand, scraping barnacles from the hull of a dry docked vessel. Relief flooded through her and she sprinted at him half tackling him in her enthusiasm. Killian lost his balance at the impact, falling a step back before recovering himself.

"Lass? Are you… all right?" he asked stiffly.

"I am now," she sighed. "We have to get you out of here."

"I'm afraid you have me confused for someone else, sweetheart." He gently pushed her away and Emma's face crumpled.

"You… you don't remember me?" she tried to keep her voice from cracking but she could feel a tear slipping down her cheek.

"I'm sorry, love," he wiped away her tear with the pad of his thumb. "Please... don't cry. It's all right we'll find the one you're looking for."

"It's you. You're the one I'm looking for. Please, Killian, you have to listen to me, you have to remember. I need you. Your family needs you."

Her eyes widened in surprise as he pulled back. "My family is here," he retorted, a sudden irritation in his voice.

"Your name is Killian Jones," she insisted, before he could turn his back on her. "You had an older brother named Liam. He died when you were young and you took to piracy to avenge his death."

"How do you-"

"You met Milah after you had become a pirate but she was killed by R-" Suddenly his grip was tight on her arm and he was dragging her towards the door of the boathouse. Shoving it open, he pulled her out after him before turning on her, eyes blazing. "Do not test me, love. It may have been some time since my pirating days, but I am no fonder of being threatened."

"I'm not threatening y-" she stopped abruptly, her eyes falling on the skin of his forearm, exposed when he had grabbed her. "Where is your tattoo?"

"Somewhere most women do not see it," he quipped rapidly, but she pulled back, her stomach clenching in knots suddenly.

"Oh my God… she's still here."

"What-"

"I need you to listen to me Killian. My name is Emma and this isn't what you think it is. I came here to save you, to bring you home."

"The only one who saves me is me," he said then stopped abruptly, a look of confusion passing over his face. Emma grinned triumphantly, but her smile fell when Killian shook his head. "You're cracked lass-"

"How did you get the hook?" Emma cut in, before he could continue. He opened his mouth to answer but no words came out. "How long have you been here? Easy enough question right? A couple weeks, couple months? Do you remember the day you moved here? What happened to your ship-"

"That's enough!" he said abruptly. "I don't know what you're playing at love, but you've got the wrong man."

He stalked away, leaving Emma staring after him in shock. She had thought they would come here, that they would find him and she would give him her heart, and everything would be the way it should be.

Instead, she was left alone, and it felt like losing him all over again.

* * *

_**Leave us a note ! We'd love to hear from you :)**_

_**This is part 1 of 3. 2 and 3 are already written so will be posted soon after final polish edit!**_


	82. Lift me from this Place (2 of 3)

**_Lift me from this place (in 3 parts)_**

_Cowritten with lynyrdwrites ! Title comes from the song Full of Grace. Break your hearts and look up the CS video for it!_

_For those of you that remember, we had quite the long rolling headcanon conversation with xhookswenchx and nothingimpossibleonlyimprobable based on my initial comment: "I'm sure there won't be any ff over the hiatus that deals with the fact that the average ambulance response time is like 5 to 10 minutes on the low end... So that's oh… 5 to 10 minutes Emma clung to Killian before they carried him away. This spiraled absolutely out of control until voila, it metamorphosed into one of my classic, what happens next hiaus hypothesis fics. Enjoy :) And by enjoy I mean suffer though and hope for a happy ending. Because that's my style these days!_

_What happens after Killian falls. _

* * *

**Part 2 : I know I can love you much better than this**

The moment he was out of the blonde's sight he paused and leaned against a wall, fist clenched against the sudden pain that had erupted in his chest. _Do you remember the day you moved in?_ "Course I remember," he grumbled aloud, shaking his head. _She was killed by…_ he stopped short and then he ran. He ran through the crowd of dockworkers finishing up for the day down the busy streets… he didn't stop running until he'd pushed open the door of their home and swept Milah up in his arms. He curled his fingers into her hair, and tried to ignore that the woman's at the dock had been the same color that's haunted his dreams for what seemed like his whole life.

Milah laughed, and Killian was almost able to forget everything but her. "What's gotten into you, Killian?"

"You're safe?" he murmured, "you're here."

"Where else would I be? School got out h-"

"Do you remember the day we moved into this place?"

"Of course I do, Killian. What is this about?"

"What day was it?"

"What?"

"What day was it?"

"Killian… really…"

"I don't remember either."

"It's been a while, things get forgotten. It's no cause for panic." She rubbed her hands over his back gently to calm him but still his heart raced.

"How did I lose my hand?" he asked, a sense of dread growing in the pit of his stomach.

"It was… an accident…"

"It wasn't an accident."

"You told me… You must have told me-"

"I should remember that," he spat in frustration. "There was a woman at the dry dock, she asked me how I lost my hand, knew all about me… about us-"

* * *

"Hey, Killian... listen to me," Milah interrupted, concerned by the growing panic in his eyes, "It's going to be ok. You've been working too hard, Neither of us have been sleeping well. Go lie down, when you wake things will be better."

He didn't quite see how a nap was going to fix anything but the ache in his chest had grown steadily worse and suddenly it seemed all he could do to stay upright. With her help he made it back into the bedroom and collapsed onto the bed. She stayed with him, working gentle fingers through his hair until finally his breathing evened out.

The moment he was asleep she slipped out of the room. 'Woman at the dry dock' was all she had to go by, but it turned out to be more than enough. When she got to the boathouse, there was a woman leaning against the outside of the building looking… lost.

"We need to talk," she said. Green eyes looked up at her in confusion and then widened.

"You're her aren't you… You're Milah?" Milah spun on her heel, and Emma followed her to a little picnic table and sank down across from her.

"How do you know my name?" Milah said tersely.

"Killian told me. When I knew him he had your name tattooed on his forearm."

"And when was that?"

"It's… kind of complicated."

"I'll try to keep up."

"I think from your perspective… it hasn't really happened yet. Or it has but you … you don't remember."

"Spit it out love, you're not making this easier on anyone."

Emma paused for a moment before deciding she didn't really have any other choice but to try the truth. "My name is Emma and… well I met Killian a couple hundred years after you died."

She paused, waiting for the scoff of indignation that was sure to follow, but to her surprise Milah didn't laugh. Just leaned back, watching Emma carefully.

"Tell me his name." Now Emma was the one confused and it must have shown on her face. "My son. Tell me his name."

Emma's jaw dropped. "Baelfire. But I always knew him as Neal. You… you remember him?"

"Not...really. But I think… I think I should. Tell me."

"I don't know everything," Emma admitted, "he was already… I don't know, a couple hundred years old when we met." Milah's eyes widened and Emma smiled half-heartedly. "Spent some time in Neverland. I didn't know that at the time of course. I just knew he was trying to steal a car that I'd rightfully stolen."

"Did he come here with you? I should like to see him again, if he'd… well if he'd allow it." Emma's smile must have fallen because Milah nodded, "I see."

"We thought we might see him here but… He saved us, from a witch who was trying to do us harm. Perhaps he didn't feel he had unfinished business."

"Unfinished business?" Milah repeated.

"That's what … Gold told us. That the people here are here because they have unfinished business."

Milah took a breath and nodded curtly. "So, tell me then, how did you come to know Killian centuries after he should have been dead too."

"The man who killed you, do you remember him?"

Milah shook her head, and Emma nodded unsurprised. Killian had lost centuries of memories, himself. That seemed to be the way of things down here.

"He wasn't just a man, he was a dark one...Killian spent … something like 200 years in Neverland, trying to find a way to destroy the one who killed you. Eventually he… kind of got in my way and I threatened to have him ripped apart by ogres. Pretty sure he considered that really aggressive flirting."

Emma watched the other woman's face, uncertain how she would take this rather unconventional conversation but she just smiled, cocking her head to one side. "Sounds like Killian."

With that Emma realized that that this woman might just help her… but not unless she knew everything. So Emma told her everything. Emma told her how angry, hurt, and broken Killian was when they met. Admitted how broken she was too. She told her of their adventures and how Killian brought a lost girl home, and found his own home along the way. Emma's voice broke only once, when she described Killian's decision to sacrifice himself for them. Milah kept quiet the whole time until the end when she broke in with a question.

"Do you love him… Killian?"

"Desperately."

"Then why did you let him do it? If you loved him, why did you sacrifice him?"

Emma closed her eyes to prevent the tears from falling but she felt their warmth on her cheek anyway.

"I… I have a son. His name is Henry. If I hadn't-"

Milah nodded, her face still expressionless. Finally she stood. "Don't follow me. Don't try to talk to Killian again. I need to … think."

"Please Milah," Emma murmured as the woman turned away, "I can't… I can't lose him."

* * *

_Baelfire_.

With one name, everything seemed to slip into place. The desperate fear she felt over leaving one of her 15 behind, the sadness that sometimes lingered behind Killian's eyes, the pain she felt in her chest, the nightmares that kept her from sleeping. The way his eyes grew distant, trying to place a feeling … a memory that was no longer there.

Killian was still asleep when she entered the house and she sank into a chair next to the bed. She didn't dare sit next to him, he always was a light sleeper and she couldn't look into his eyes right now. Not until she was sure…

_Two hundred years_, she mused.

The figure made her head hurt, made her heart hurt. Killian had always been a passionate man, but two hundred years with only anger and hatred to warm his heart? For the first time since she'd met Emma, perhaps in much longer if the woman spoke the truth, she felt her own tears warm her cheeks.

_Two hundred years. _

Wiping away her tears she finally slipped into the bed beside him, smiling when he immediately woke and curled his arms around her waist, pressing a light kiss to her collar bone.

"Tell me a story," she whispered when he woke and smiled at her.

"Which one? Would you like to hear about the kraken ag-"

"A new story."

"Don't have a lot of new stories these days-"

"Make one up."

He was silent for a moment before he began to speak. "Once upon a time, there was a lost princess-"

"What did she look like?" Milah interrupted.

He chuckled, "Does it matter, love. All the best stories start with a lost princess."

"It matters."

"All right, this lost princess. Well she was a curious princess; preferred leather armor to silks and carried a knife in her boot. She had golden hair and her eyes... do you remember that lagoon just beyond Ma-"

"Yes."

"So our lost princess was seeking a treasure; something she desperately needed to return home to her kingdom. A compass. But not just any compass…"

And so he told her the story of a princess and a pirate climbing a beanstalk... The same story she had just heard from Emma though Killian's version was a bit more dramatic. A few stray tears slipped down her cheeks again as he spoke, hidden in the fabric of his shirt. Finally, after 200 years, he had a new home… and it wasn't her.

* * *

Emma clutched the ring around her neck until cool metal bit into her skin. She remembered sitting in this exact spot, back in the world of the living, and how Killian spoke to her of forgiving her parents. Everything had been so crazy then, but never had she thought they could be _this_ crazy. He had told her he was a survivor so often she had actually begun to believe it, and now here she was. In the underworld of all places to _make_ him keep that promise.

Her fists clenched in frustration. At herself, at him, at that woman and the perfect life… after-life they could have together, and with a jolt she realized that she was doing it again. Trying to make the decision for him, trying to force him back into her life by force of will. By a sheer desperate need.

She watched the sunrise over the ocean and thought that she should maybe just turn around. This place… he was with the woman he had loved for centuries. This isn't his hell - it's hers. And perhaps after all these years… maybe she was supposed to leave him to his rest. Didn't he deserve that much?

Someone came up behind her and for a moment she thought it was him. But the steps are too light, her mother perhaps? Still she didn't turn.

"Don't you dare do that."

Emma jumped and turned to see the last person she had thought would seek her out.

"Milah? Wh- Do what?"

"Don't you dare abandon him here."

For a moment Emma forgot that that was exactly what she wanted to hear and she turned on the woman in irritation. "Abandon him? He doesn't even know me."

"Did you ever find the dirt?"

Emma covered her eyes with one hand and then ran her fingers back through her hair, trying to control her temper and failing utterly.

"What. Dirt."

"The sparkly dirt."

"What are you talking about."

"You told me you climbed a beanstalk, he told me you still needed the dust. Did you find it? Or did you have to find another way home."

Her irritation was swept away in a moment and replaced with a burning desperate hope. She took a breath, praying her voice wouldn't crack.

"He remembers?"

"The same way I remember my Baelfire," she admitted. "As a hole. As something missing. As dreams and nightmares and … Emma, you must have thought there was a way to bring him back to the living. What is it?"

"His heart is gone, lost when he d- when he died. But mine is strong enough for both of us."

Milah closed her eyes and looked away from Emma. "But if he doesn't fully remember you, if something… if someone ties him here?"

"We both die, probably, for good this time."

Milah paced away. Her shoulders were tense, her hands clenched into fists. Emma said nothing, instead considering the back of this woman who had had such an indirect influence on her life.

Neal's mother.

Killian's lover.

_Henry's grandmother._

"There's someone you should meet," Emma said abruptly, and Milah halted her agitated movements to look at her. There wasn't much of Neal to find in this woman, and thus not much of Henry… but there was something in that curious look that reminded her so much of both father and son that it made Emma's heart pang. "Before… before we do anything, there's someone I'd like you to meet."

Emma wasn't the only one that had found ghosts in this mirror of Storybrooke. And her family had taken cover in Granny's, eerily abandoned in the Underworld, to hide from painful memories. Milah looked somewhat shocked, when she entered the diner, to find herself on the business end of two arrows, a sword, and a fireball.

"Put them away," Emma said. She slumped onto one of the stools at the counter and let her shoulders fall. "This is Milah."

"Milah?" Regina replied, her voice filled with shock. "You mean-"

"In the flesh," Emma returned, "more or less."

Milah looked around in confusion and opened her mouth to say something - but then froze. Henry had pushed to the front of the group, his gaze curious as he stood between his mother and grandmother.

"Bae," Milah breathed, stepping up, her hand outstretched. She froze after a single step though, her hand falling slowly to her side. "No… you… there's so much of him in you. But you're not him. Who are you?"

"Mom?" Henry asked, his gaze moving to Emma who watched this first meeting of grandmother and grandchild with a lump in her throat. "This is...?"

"Neal's mother," Emma said softly, drawing a confused look from Milah. "Henry, this is your grandmother."

"Grandmother?" Milah replied, her eyes widening as she looked back at Henry. "Wait, he called you mom…"

"Don't ask," Emma advised with a small smile. "This family tree would give anyone a headache. What's important is that he's your grandson. I thought you should meet him."

It was clear Milah didn't know how to deal with this, the revelation of a teenaged grandchild. But Henry, smart, observant Henry, knew exactly what to do. He stepped forward, closing the distance between them, and wrapped Milah in a tight hug.

"You know him too, don't you," Milah said, pulling back and running her fingers over Henry's hair. "Killian."

"I do. He… he taught me how to sail."

"He always wanted children," Milah replied, so softly Emma thought it likely she was talking to herself. Her brow furrowed into a frown. "I know that. We talked about it sometimes…I can't remember when. Just that he wanted them, but I could never-"

Her words cut off abruptly, and she covered her mouth with her hand. The anguish on her face hit Emma in her heart, and she wished there was something she could do. She wished she could help Milah with this grief… but it all came down to Killian. And Milah had been right - Emma _couldn't_ leave him behind.

But there was one thing that she could do, she could give Milah some privacy. Snow had apparently had the same thought, because she was already ushering Regina and Robin to the back of the diner, leaving Henry with Milah at the front.

"He taught you to sail, Henry?" Milah finally asked. "Would you tell me about it?"

Henry's face lit up at the prospect of a willing audience and Emma moved to sit with her parents in their booth.

"He doesn't remember me," she admitted, and Snow wrapped her in a hug.

"Want me to beat him up?" Charming asked helpfully. "No one forgets _my_ daughter!"

"I don't think a broken nose is going to help things," she commented but David looked unconvinced.

"We're in a whole new situation here, Emma. Really you have no way of knowing until I try it. Maybe it will bring back fond memories for him."

"Perhaps that should be plan B?" Snow suggested with a smile.

"True friendship's broken nose?" Emma drawled out dryly, but she squeezed her dad's hand in thanks for the first moment of levity in… far too long.

Emma watched Henry on the other side of the diner talking with Milah animatedly. Occasionally a piece of phrase would drift over to her and a particularly loud bark of laughter accompanying the words 'goats milk' told Emma Henry was now telling her about the alternate storybook. Their voices grew hushed again and Emma resisted the urge to listen in on their conversation.

Finally Milah stood and walked back over to their booth.

"You need to leave." Emma's jaw dropped in disbelief but Milah cut her off before she could protest. "I'm bringing him here but if he sees you … we need to take this slow."

"Thank you," Emma barely managed to whisper the words around the lump in her throat but Milah shook her head.

"I'm not doing it for you."

* * *

Milah hears the door open when Killian arrives home again.

In the realm of the living, it belonged to _them_. It hadn't been Emma that she had found that out from, but instead Henry. He's a bright boy, her grandson.

And he loves Killian.

They all do.

He walks into the house, his face set in the furrow that has been there ever since he met Emma. Milah had prepared herself to give him up, but watching him walk past the room where she stands, not noticing her, she realizes that even if she weren't, he's already gone.

_He never would have walked right by before…_

These memories - kisses and love and days spent quietly together - they're all fake. Milah has been here for two centuries, while Killian pursued revenge in her name...

"Did you want to go out for supper?" she asks, stepping into the hall behind him. Killian freezes, and slowly turns toward her, his expression chagrined.

"Sorry, Love," he says, stepping towards her and pulling her into his arms. Milah lets him, and when he bends down to kiss her, she returns it with a desperation she hadn't realized she was still capable of.

He pulled away with a chuckle, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

"That's a nice welcome," he tells her, squeezing her hand.

Milah tries to make her lips curve into a smile. She knows she hadn't succeeded when his expression became concerned.

"So, dinner out, love?" she asked."There's somewhere new I'd like to go."

"Anything for you."

When she brought him back to the diner the group had diminished. Henry sat at one of the booths with his… grandfather? Emma's parents didn't look old enough to be grandparents but… then again... neither did she.

She made directly for their table and Killian followed, a look of confusion settling on his face.

"Milah wh-"

"Trust me," she interrupted. "This is Henry, and this is David. You need to listen to them."

Henry looked nervous at first but Milah nodded slightly to him and Henry took a deep breath.

"Hey Killian. She told me that you don't remember so… I'm just going to tell you a story ok?"

Killian glanced at Milah in confusion but she just nodded.

"Once upon a time there was a lost princess," Henry smiled, "all the best stories start with a lost Princess," he explained. "She didn't know she was a Princess though. She didn't feel like a princess... living all by herself in a world without magic. Then one day a little boy showed up on her doorstep, insisting that he was her son that she had had to give up 11 years before. She took him back home, not yet realizing that it was her home too. The lost princess didn't believe in magic, didn't believe that she had a family. And her family didn't remember her either. They were all cursed, to live without love, and without each other. Until one day the little boy got sick. He was poisoned by magic and there was no way to save him. When he died the princess was so sad that she kissed him on his forehead. It was true love's kiss, and the boy woke. But he wasn't the only one who woke. The curse was broken and all the town remembered who they were."

Henry glanced up at David who continued the story. He seemed nervous, not quite the natural storyteller as his grandson - but there was an earnestness to the prince's expression, on that made it impossible to doubt his honesty.

"She wasn't just a lost Princess. She was our lost princess. My daughter, taken away from me by a curse. I missed it all, 28 years of precious firsts, lost forever. I like to think that deep down… I knew something was missing. Something so important that every day living without it felt… like a half life. A hole in my heart that I'd no idea how to fill. But when the curse broke, when she found us, we remembered everything. Suddenly I knew exactly what I had been missing all along."

"But that wasn't the end of the story," Henry said, picking the tale up once more. "The Princess was still afraid to let anyone in; afraid to get hurt. Her family did the best they could to bring down her walls, but some defences are just too strong. Then one day some bad people came to town, they opened a portal to another world and the Princess was ripped away. She was trapped … in a world away from her family. But she was determined to get back to them. She went on a quest to find a compass that would help her to find her way home."

When Henry began the story of Emma's climb up the beanstalk Killian stiffened next to her. Milah took his hand, squeezing lightly.

"She got home," Charming said, once Henry had finished his part of the story, "but the pirate followed her. A villainous man who cared for nothing but revenge. He almost got his revenge too, the entire town was going to be destroyed… the man he hated, along with the princess and her family and everyone else. He sailed away, content in his vengeance. But in the end he couldn't do it. He came back. He helped the Princess, from that point forward, and he fell in love with her. He loved her so much he'd follow her to the end of the world, through time itself to protect her. And eventually… she fell in love with him too."

Killian stood abruptly, his face ashen. Milah wasn't surprised. After all, it must have been a shock, to hear what he thought a spur of the moment bedtime story told to him by two complete strangers.

"I'm sorry, it's a lovely tale but I don't see the point. I have to… I have to go." He pulled free of Milah and hurried out the front door. David stood but Milah waved her hand.

"Let me talk to him."

She found him outside the diner leaning against the wall eyes flicking back and forth as though looking for something. When he caught sight of her he reached out and pulled her tight pressing his lips to hers with a desperate fire that made her head spin and tears prick at the corners of her eyes.

"Let's go home, Milah. Please, let's just go h-"

"The story isn't done, Killian."

"Why did you bring me here?"

"Because I love you. Because you need to know how the story ends-"

"I don't care how the story bloody ends," he snapped and Milah raised her eyebrows. "Because I know how it begins. And when it begins you're gone."

"I'm already gone," she said softly.

"You're not," he snapped, "you're right here. You're-"

"Tell me how the story ends, Killian. You've seen it haven't you. In your dreams, those nights when I wake to find you desperately seeking the solace of the sea."

He ran his fingers through his hair, shaking his head. "It's just a dream. It's not real. This is real. I promised… I promised to take care of you."

"Killian. I can't keep watching you drift. I _won't_. So I need you to do something for me."

"Anything," he told her instantly.

"Talk to her. _Listen_ to her."

"Mil-"

"You think you're the only one who has dreams?" She said tersely. Something inside her snapped and the facade of calmness disintegrated, leaving only fire in it's wake. "The only one who feels out of place here? I have a son, Killian, do you remember that? I have a son I barely remember. I'd give _anything_ to remember… And here you have a chance to know the truth and you want to hide below deck until the storm passes? I won't let you." She spun and made for the diner pausing at the door and signaling someone inside before turning back to Killian. His eyes were anguished and her fire calmed. She stepped towards him, her heart clenching. This could be the last time she sees him like this, still hers ... almost hers. "Kiss me goodbye," she whispered.

"You hate saying goodbye," he replied automatically.

"Kiss me anyway."

Killian bent, pressing his lips to hers gently, and brushing away the tears that fell from her eyes. "This isn't goodbye," he insisted.

The door opened behind them and Milah broke away, walking down the dark street without looking back.

"Killian-"

"Don't," he interrupted, stepping closer to the blonde without another word. He watched her carefully for a few moments until the silence was near unbearable. "God, you're so like her-"

"Like who?"

"Like the one I've dreamed of. How did you do that?"

"Killia-"

"Is it some magic, some-" he paused and took a deep breath clenching his hand at his side when a wisp of hair fell into her face. "It doesn't matter. Emma why are you really here?"

"Because I couldn't live without you. I told you, Killian. I _can't_ lose you too. I watched you fall, I held you in my arms as you bled out in the mud. You promised me a future and then you _left_." Her eyes filled with tears and Killian fought the instinct to step forward. "I kissed you when your lips were already cold, hoping desperately that some magic would bring you back to me but… My happy ending died with you, and I want it _back_."

"I'm sorry, Swan, but even if what you're saying is true… I don't think there's anything I can do about it."

A smile crept onto her lips and he cocked his head to one side, confused. "I don't think I told you that name," she whispered.

"Of course you did, you must have-"

Emma shook her head. "You remember."

"It was just a dream."

"It isn't Killian," she insisted, stepping closer and placing one hand on his cheek. "It's real, all of it. Please… you have to _let_ yourself remember."

"You mean I have to let myself forget" - Killian looked down the cold and lonely sidewalk, where Milah had walked away from him, tears in her eyes - "perhaps, if it seemed like centuries again… but how do you expect me to forget when she's… she's right here?"

"You never forgot," Emma replied. "In centuries, you never forgot her. It's one of the reasons I fell in love with you, I think. Knowing that through all the dark years you never stopped loving."

She grasped his arm, pushing his sleeve up. He stared at his arm, and watched her trace the faint outlines of a tattoo that had not been there even an hour ago. It was faded and blurred at the edge, as though some magic kept it hidden. But he didn't need to see it clearly to know the name it bore.

_Milah_.

And with that thought came another memory, of a crocodile and a heart that turned to dust, and Killian tore his arm from Emma's grip to grasp his head.

"Why?" he asked her as memories creeped closer. Memories of pain and suffering and lifetimes of bad deeds he could never undo. "If you love me, then why do this to me?"

"Because there was happiness too," Emma replied, cupping his face with her hands. She pressed her lips to his and it brought to his mind dozens of kisses, each making his heart seem lighter than the one before, bringing with it the belief that he could be a good man again. "You're not done yet, Killian."

The memories threatened to take him to his knees, but the touch of her fingers on his face kept him grounded. He rested his forehead on hers before he could think better of the action. It felt right, like he'd done this before.

The final memory, of stroking her hair turned from icy blonde back to sun kissed gold, and the thought that she had done it. She would have a future now...

"You shouldn't be here," he said to her, fear taking grip of him. _He was dead. She was not -_

Emma pulled him into a deeper kiss, and the holes left in his memory were filled as her magic ran through his body, making even the dull Underworld seem somehow more colorful.

"You didn't think I was going to let it end like that, did you?" she asked him fiercely, breaking the kiss, but still holding him close. "I'll always find you, Killian."

"How are you here? You're not… you didn't…"

"No, I'm not dead. Rumplestiltskin."

"He… helped?"

"Yeah that's a conversation we're going to have to have later… but for now… we need to get you home."

"Home… Swan, I can't. I died."

"So what you're just going to give up?"

He chuckled, "I may not be an expert but death is kind of a one way trip."

"There may be a way-"

"Even if I wanted to… This isn't a curse, or a story that can be rewritten. This was a sword through the heart. You even being here is too dangerous. You have to go."

Emma's face fell, "Even if you wanted to?"

"That's not what I meant," he muttered, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. "You and your family need to get out of this place; get topside before you get stuck down here!" He turned, looking in the way Milah had walked and Emma's heart sank. He turned back and cupped her face with one hand, brushing her cheek with his thumb. "My time is done, love. But you still have a future. You need to take it, please."

Her throat was dry, a thousand words rushing through her mind and none of them seemed to make it through to her lips. It wasn't supposed to be like this… but all of her words froze in her throat. He glanced again behind him and she clamped her mouth shut. She'd made the decision for him before … she wouldn't do it again.

"Go, talk to her."

"Swan I-"

"Go, Killian. It's been centuries… it's overdue."

He hesitated a moment longer before pulling her towards him and wrapping his arms around her. She felt him sigh into her neck and she tightened her grip around him. There was a pretty good chance that she was hurting his neck but this time he didn't fall, just tightened his own grip as she tried not to let her tears come.

"I have to go too," she whispered into his ear, thankful that their embrace hid her face from his too perceptive gaze. "Get some things ready for our return trip."

"I need to speak with her, but I'll be back. " Killian said quietly. "Will you still be here when I return? I'd like to see you, one more time..."

She nodded into his shoulder and then pulled away, spinning instantly and was gone back into the diner before he could say another word.

* * *

Milah went back to her house, she wasn't sure why. It wasn't really her house. Not anymore. But it still felt familiar. She ran her fingers along the kitchen table, feeling strangely detached from the place that had once been home.

Everything was the way they had left it, including one of his leather jackets hung over the back of a chair. She picked it up, hugging it close. She felt as though she were grieving for a man now dead, and really, wasn't she? The man she'd known, the one she'd built this life with was gone. Had never really existed at all. She sat on the couch, probing at the corners of her memory for the things that stayed just out of reach.

Bae.

She'd give anything to remember him. She thought she remembered curls, that maybe he'd liked the color green... but she'd never know if she had made that up.

Eventually she heard the door open and turned, surprised.

"Milah?" came a tentative call.

"Here," she called back out of habit.

He came into the living room slowly and hesitated, unsure of what to do with himself for a moment before he sat next to her.

"I'm s-"

"Don't apologize, Killian. Why are you here?"

"I thought you might want to hear a story."

She turned towards him quickly, eyes wide with surprise. "You remember?"

"Everything."

She closed her eyes so he wouldn't see the tears that wanted to pool at that word. It was the word that meant it was true. She hadn't realized that there was a part of her - small and bitter and selfish - that had wished that it would all turn out to be a lie. That Emma would be a madwoman, and Killian would come home and take her to bed, and everything would go back to the way it had been.

But Emma wasn't mad. No, it was all true. Leaving Bae, dying… all of it was true.

"Milah, I love you."

Milah's eyes snapped open again at his words, to find that he had come to kneel before her. He reached out to take her hand and lifted it to his mouth, pressing a kiss to her palm. There was a new look in his eyes now, one of awe.

For this man, she had been dead for centuries. Milah met his eyes, saw that, and behind it saw _guilt_. She knew then, that if she asked him to stay, he would. If she asked, he would stay and love her and they would live their…

Except it wouldn't be _living_. Because she was dead. And so was Killian… but he didn't have to be. There was a woman that loved him enough to come here for him. A woman who loved him enough to make him happy.

She cupped his cheeks and pulled him in for a kiss. His lips were warm against hers, and it felt so _right_. Up until the moment it didn't. When she realized that though he kissed her back, and though he felt as he always had, there was a part of him that he held back.

She pulled away and pressed her forehead to his.

"Tell me the story, Killian."

* * *

_**Don't forget to leave us a note to tell us what you think. Lynyrd takes bribes in the form of kittens. **_

_**Last part coming shortly :) Happy snow day for those of you who, like me, won't be leaving the house anytime soon. Guess that means it's finally time to finish failure to appear... **_


	83. Lift me from this Place (3 of 3)

**_Lift me from this place (in 3 parts)_**

_Cowritten with lynyrdwrites ! Title comes from the song Full of Grace. Break your hearts and look up the CS video for it!_

_For those of you that remember, we had quite the long rolling headcanon conversation with xhookswenchx and nothingimpossibleonlyimprobable based on my initial comment: "I'm sure there won't be any ff over the hiatus that deals with the fact that the average ambulance response time is like 5 to 10 minutes on the low end... So that's oh… 5 to 10 minutes Emma clung to Killian before they carried him away. This spiraled absolutely out of control until voila, it metamorphosed into one of my classic, what happens next hiaus hypothesis fics. Enjoy :) And by enjoy I mean suffer though and hope for a happy ending. Because that's my style these days!_

_What happens after Killian falls._

* * *

_**Part 3: full of grace**_

Emma ended up at the docks again, as always. He'd been right of course. It calmed her too.

It wasn't peaceful though, not like home, but she couldn't stay in Granny's . Couldn't sit and wait under her mother's too sympathetic gaze. Whatever peace she had hoped to find on her bench by the water was interrupted by the sailor from earlier taking a seat next to her.

"Did you find him?" the man asked, "the one you were looking for?"

Emma nodded, not trusting her voice and too exhausted to even bother putting up her walls.

"Forgive me my bluntness, but you hardly look like a lass who has found what she's looking for."

"It's … complicated."

"Life was so. Did you expect this place to be so very different?"

"You know where we are?" Her eyebrows shot up in surprise, "most people don't seem to remember much of anything down here."

"People do not stay here forever, lass. And someone has to take them away. The man laughed, "Can't very well do that without knowing where I am, can I?"

"Where do they go? The ones that sail away with you?"

"On," he replied simply.

"Can I… can I show you something? I don't know if I can do it… but…I'd like to know if you've seen someone."

He nodded again.

She reached out her hand and pressed her fingers to his temple. His eyebrows furrowed but he didn't flinch. Focusing her mind on Neal's face, she closed her eyes and… pushed. A warm glow passed to her hand and the sailor's eyes snapped open.

"That's a hell of a trick, lass," he said in surprise.

"Did you see him?"

"I took him out a long time ago. Is he the one you were seeking?"

"No… he is just … an old friend. I'm glad to know he's not stuck here. What about you, why are you still here?"

"I'm waiting for someone too. My brother."

"You remember him?" she asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

"My memories were the prize I asked for the work I do for Hades. For better or for worse, he kept his end of the bargain."

"How long have you been waiting?"

"Hard to say. But I think my wait is finally at an end."

"You found him?" Emma asked.

"I found you…" Emma's eyes snapped up and he shrugged. "Tell me, lass, where did you come by that ring?"

Emma's hand flew to her necklace in surprise and for the briefest moment she considered lying. Then she looked up at the sailor, _really_ looked at him for the first time and was suddenly astonished that she hadn't noticed it immediately. Her stomach fell through the dock below her and her heart clenched and raced at the same time.

"Oh my God… you're Killian's brother. You're Liam."

"So which is it, love? He'd hardly have misplaced that little trinket. So he's either in love with you, or you killed him." She flinched visibly and Liam stiffened when she muttered both under her breath. But her shoulders slumped and a tear slipped down her cheek and he relaxed again.

"Ah, I see."

"I thought I could bring him home but I didn't think- I didn't even consider that he might not _want_ to leave. And now…"

Liam raised his eyebrows, and the look on his face reminded her so much of Killian that her chest tightened.

"… I can't expect him to leave her behind _and_ you."

Liam considered for a moment and then looked up at her. "You done feeling sorry for yourself yet?"

Emma smiled half-heartedly, "Not really."

"So now what? You go home, give up? Leave him behind?"

"I can't _make_ him come home if he doesn't want to, Liam."

He watched her intently for a moment. "Aye, that's true enough."

"You're doing that thing he does," Emma grumbled.

"Am I?" Liam replied, face stoic and a twinkle in his eye.

"That thing where his words agree with you but his eyes don't."

Liam chuckled, "I was his Captain, lass, as well as his brother. I know that one quite well."

Suddenly a thought struck her like a blow and her mouth fell open in surprise. "I … I have to go…"

"Not far I hope?" Liam commented.

"No I… I'll be back ok, don't leave." She turned and ran as fast as she could back to Granny's. When she arrived she slammed open the door, ducking under a fireball as she charged into the room

"Miss Swan, what are you doing. I could have ki-"

Emma swept past Regina without a second glance, her eyes fixed on a back booth where the Dark One sat, set apart from the others.

"What were you planning?" she growled, pulling him out of the booth and glaring.

"I don't know what you're talk-"

"You always have a plan, you disappeared the moment we set foot here. Don't tell me you weren't looking for Neal. What were you going to do if you found him?"

"Does it matter? He's not here."

"Tell me, Gold, or so help me-"

"You'll what? Your blackmail threats are getting old. I got you here, our arrangement is fulfilled. You'd be wise not to press me any further."

Emma sighed, clenching her hands in an attempt to calm herself. "What harm would it do, Gold, to pretend to be the man she thinks you are?"

"She knows who I am. She's known for a very long time."

"So be someone else!" Emma spat in irritation. "Be the man she hopes you are-"

"Which conveniently enough benefits your pirate somehow, I presume?"

"You know what Gold, I'm _glad_ he's not here," Emma seethed, "he died thinking that you could be someone else. That you could be a _decent_ man. And he died before you could prove him wrong again."

Gold grew very still and for a moment the thought crossed through her mind to wonder how well his magic worked here- but then his shoulders relaxed and he pulled a small satchel from his pocket and handed it to her. "You're not wrong. It's of no use to me now."

"What is it?" Emma asked opening the leather pouch to see a small silver feather inside, glowing with a soft golden light.

"That, dearie, is a feather from Hermes sandal."

"Hermes…" Emma repeated, "like the little blue guy with the flying sandals."

Gold shook his head in annoyance and Henry stepped forward with a smile on his face. "No mom, _Hermes_. The messenger god that carried messages between Mt Olympus, earth and the underworld."

"Not sure I'm following, kid."

"It's from one of the only gods that had the ability to pass from the underworld." Henry continued.

Emma turned to Rumplestiltskin with wide eyes, "This will work?"

Gold nodded.

"Is it… is it only for one?"

The dark one shrugged, "I don't know. I only needed it for one."

Before she had time to dwell on their discovery the door to the diner opened behind her. Emma turned as Killian entered. His eyes were red rimmed, and he had clearly been crying. But when he looked at Emma, his gaze was fierce. He walked up to her, pulled her in tight to his body, and pressed his lips over hers. Emma gasped against his lips.

The last time he had kissed her like this, she had just put his heart back in his chest, and it was as though she were color and he was seeing it for the first time.

"Take me home, Emma," he said when they separated, both of them gasping for breath. He rested his forehead on hers, and swayed them back and forth. "You have a plan, and I trust you. Take me home."

Emma hugged him tightly, her fingers digging into his back. She closed her eyes, and felt a handful of tears trail down her cheeks.

"Okay," she replied, relief making her knees feel weak. "Okay. But there's someone we have to see first."

Killian pulled away to look at her and his voice trembled when he spoke, "he's still here?"

Emma nodded for a moment she thought Killian might fall over. He tightened his grip on her waist to steady himself and let her lead him from the diner. When they arrived at the dock Killian halted. His grip on her hand tightened so as to almost be bruising when his eyes fixed on the back of a bench where Liam waited.

"Killian?" Emma asked. "I think I should give you two a minute. How about I wait right here?"

He nodded distractedly and she give him a slight push forward. That was all it took before Killian broke away, closing the distance between them in a moment. Emma watched them, hesitant at first and then Liam dove forward, enveloping Killian in a tight hug. She couldn't hear their conversation from this distance but she watched them sink onto the bench together deep in conversation. Before long there was a plume of purple smoke and Regina appeared next to her.

"We need to leave, Miss Swan."

Emma nodded.

Regina followed her glance to where Liam and Killian sat and sighed. "There's something you haven't considered."

"What?"

"We don't know the price of splitting a heart."

"My parents seem fine."

"Your parents… they might be a… a fluke. We don't know the rules, love might not be enough. And even if it works… we don't understand the price yet. There is _always_a price. But Emma with this object of Gold's. You could get your pirate back without sacrificing your heart. Let him make his farewells, find closure, and then come home."

Emma stood in silence for a moment watching Killian and Liam by the water before finally she shook her head.

"If this could have worked and I didn't even try… I'll never forgive myself."

"It's your heart, Miss Swan. Your choice."

"Thank you, Regina. Don't… don't tell him about the feather yet. Not until we share a heart."

Regina raised her eyebrows questioningly.

"I don't think he's going to like the idea of my heart being removed… it will be easier if he thinks it's the only way."

"And if it doesn't work?"

"It will work." Emma ended the conversation abruptly by stepping forward towards Killian.

When he looked up at her there was such a contrast of joy and sorrow, of happiness and pain on his face that any doubts she may have had were swept away in an instant.

"We have to get going if we're going to try this," Regina told him.

"Try what?" Killian asked suspiciously.

"Your girlfriend is convinced that you two are capable of sharing a heart. That is how you're getting out of here, guyliner."

"You're telling me you mean to split her heart?"

Regina nodded and Killian turned on Emma. "Your heart can't be taken. I saw it myself."

"It can't be taken, that doesn't mean it can't be given."

"Swan, I-" She cut him off with a kiss and when she pulled away his eyes were closed. "Are you certain, love. Are you absolutely certain."

"I am. It will work."

With one hand she reached into her chest and removed her heart. Relief filled her as her first theory was proven correct. It could not be taken, but it could be given. Killian stiffened next to her and tightened his grip as she handed her heart to Regina. "Do it quick," she told Regina, "like ripping off a banda-"

Killian cut her off, his lips insistent and desperate. Suddenly Emma let out a sharp cry and gasped. She turned to Regina and before she had a moment to react the woman had returned one half of her heart to her chest and the other half to Killian with one sudden movement.

"Did it work?" Liam asked, finally stepping forward, his eyes looking over his brother intently.

Regina shrugged, "I don't know. You don't need a heart here… I don't think we'll know for sure until we get back home."

Emma smiled and placed her hand on Killian's chest. "It worked," she insisted.

"I'm going to go out on a limb and say that we should get out of here before anyone starts to notice that one of their dearly departed has a beating heart," Emma commented.

Killian glanced at Liam and then back to Emma, "allow me to say my farewells, love?"

"Not yet," she said, reaching for his hand, and pulling him away a few paces. "there's something else I need to tell you."

"What is it?" he asked, opening the small bag she handed him.

"Our way home. Killian… there's a strong possibility it will allow us to bring someone with us."

Killian's jaw dropped, "Swan, what is this?"

"A feather from Hermes sandal. Gold meant to use it to bring Neal back, but he's not here."

"Where is Bae?"

"He's moved on. Liam told me. I don't know exactly what that means but… I don't think we can reach him anymore."

"You mean to tell me… " he glanced over at his brother and back at her. "You believe it will work?"

"That's not all." Her chest tightened in nervousness but she clenched her fist, determined not to keep anything from him. "But it might allow you to bring more than one…"

"Milah," her name came out on a whisper.

"I don't know if it would work, we don't really know the rules. But it's possible. I thought the choice should be yours."

His lips tightened into what she supposed was meant to be a smile and pulled her closer, wrapping her tight and resting his chin on the top of her head.

"You are stunning lass. Whenever I think I know what to expect of you… you exceed my wildest expectations yet again." Pulling away slightly he pressed a kiss to her forehead. "She would not be happy there, love, I know that now. The man she loves is… not gone, but changed. And her son… he is here somewhere beyond the horizon. Finding him is her new adventure."

* * *

The trip back to Storybrooke seemed so… _anticlimactic_. The one moment of tension came when they approached the shore of the pond, only to find that there was a man sitting on the bench there. Liam and Gold both tensed up and when the man's gaze drifted over Emma, she felt a chill go down her spine.

"Don't look back," Liam warned them as they approached. "Whatever he says."

"Leaving so soon?" the man murmured, voice smooth as silk.

"You don't get me yet," Rumple replied tersely, but the tight grip of his hand told them all that he was ready to perform his magic at any moment.

"No," the man mused. "I don't get you. _Yet_. Have a good trip, Gold. And you, Captain."

Liam looked almost shocked, that that was all the man would say. But when they began to walk across the bespelled bridge to Charon's boat, nothing stopped them.

"How sure are you that this will work, Emma Swan? Do you know the price of a shared heart? Come, talk with me, dear, perhaps I can help you." The voice floated over the water in a calm conversational tone and Emma froze. "Or perhaps you're being kind enough to send me a new Captain to ferry my souls onward, to replace the one you're trying to steal from me." Emma stopped and started to turn but Liam gripped her forearm hard. Regina had done the same to Henry, pushing him in front of her as they continued to walk.

"Don't," Liam warned under his breath. "He cannot interfere, not unless you look back." She straightened and took another step forward.

After that, their trip was smooth, their arrival home greeted with cheers and happy reunions with Neal and Baby Hood, and plans for a celebration of their success to be held at Granny's. The days leading up to the party were filled with visitors and well-wishers, and it seemed like Emma and Killian didn't have a moment alone before they were being toasted in the diner with large mugs of beer. At one point Killian introduced Granny to his brother, and the old woman blushed like a girl.

No one was surprised when the newly resurrected sailors got the biggest pieces of celebratory pie.

They were _home_, and it was foolish, that it took until a town wide party for that to really hit her, but Emma was able to finally _breathe_. She had Killian once more, and he had his brother. The only pall on the celebration was the memory of Milah, who had given up her own happiness for Killian, and for Emma.

Even reminding herself of Killian's words, that Milah had a new adventure, finding her son, Emma still knew that she would forever owe the other woman.

Because of her, Emma had Killian. Killian, who she couldn't tear her eyes from, even as she accepted happy greetings and congratulations from friends and town citizens she hardly even knew.

Because she couldn't tear her eyes from her pirate, she noticed when he quietly slipped away, his brother a few steps behind. She nearly went as well, but just barely managed to stop herself. The brothers hadn't had a moment, either. So she would let them have it. But the moment they returned?

That pirate was hers.

* * *

Killian slipped out during the festivities. It had been less than a week since their return from the underworld, and he was still not much inclined towards large groups. But Snow had insisted upon celebrating their return and no one could convince her otherwise.

Before long there were footsteps behind him. Not Swan's… David perhaps or-

"This feast is for you, little brother, why do you sneak away?"

"Younger-" he started automatically, then he smiled and shook his head in amusement as Liam caught up to walk with him.

"Aye, well, after Granny finished my flask and pinched me somewhere slightly below the counter I thought it was best I get some air."

Liam laughed, "She's certainly exuberant about your return. They all are. It's quite the family you've discovered here, Killian."

"Aye, that they are. And you, brother, how are you settling in?"

"It's different. And some bloody pirate rearranged my books chronologically rather than by author."

"Remind me to introduce you to Belle, you can discuss my inadequacies at organizing literature at length."

Liam chuckled and they continued their walk in a comfortable silence until they reached the docks, the familiar shape of the Jolly Roger dimly lit by a full moon. Liam watched the sight appreciatively then turned to Killian.

"Good light tonight."

"Very clear," Killian agreed.

"I imagine you know this port well by now, is that so? Well enough to navigate these waters on a brightly lit night?"

Killian nodded, a smile coming to his lips. "I think I might manage."

* * *

Liam did not return to the party for many hours, and when he did it was with windswept hair and a smile so bright it made him nearly glow. But Killian had not yet returned. Emma made her excuses to her parents and said goodnight to Henry before making her way out to the docks.

When she found him he was sitting on a bench looking out over the water. She sat down so there was a foot of space between them and faced him as he looked out over the sea. After a long moment, he turned to look at her.

"We share a heart," he whispered, and she nodded, still overcome with a sense of wonder at the thought. But his eyes were tormented.

"We share a heart," she agreed, "but I don't need to share your heart to know that you are troubled. What is it Killian?"

"Being here, being home with you… with my brother, it's a greater gift than I thought possible."

"So what is it that brings you here?"

"I loved her," he said, his voice hoarse. It took Emma a moment to realize what he meant, and she reached out to take his hand.

"I know," she replied.

"I just… I love _you_, Emma. I love you more than anything. But I truly did love her."

"I _know_, Killian" - Emma scooted closer and he instinctively wrapped his arm around her as she leaned her head on his shoulder.

"What if I made a mistake, Swan? Did she not deserve a second chance at the life that was taken from her? I hate to think that she remains there, thinking that I didn't love her enough."

"She knew, Killian," Emma repeated, and she was absolutely certain of her words. With the way Killian loved, there was no way that Milah hadn't known. "She knew. And she loved you enough to let you go, to let you have another chance. And maybe to find her own."

"You think she'll really find him… Baelfire?"

"They're family, aren't they?"

He turned back to the water for a few moments, his arm tightening around her shoulders.

"I'm not ready to go back. Do you mind if we stay here a little longer?"

Emma pressed a hand over Killian's heart, felt the beat strong beneath his chest, and closed her eyes, to listen to her own heartbeat in unison with his.

"Yeah," she murmured quietly, finally feeling safe and… _home_ for the first time in, well, in far too long. "We can stay here a little longer."

They sat there, curled around each other, and Emma let her eyes drift shut, taking comfort in the steady beat of his heart, in perfect time with the sound of her own.

"I hate that damn gravestone," he finally said, and Emma let out a huff of laughter.

"Who took you there?"

"Dave. I think he thought it would be funny. I'm not sure I agree."

Another laugh escaped her, imagining her father with a glint in his eyes and the devil on his shoulder taking her pirate to the graveyard. He _would_ think it was funny.

"We'll dump it," Emma finally said, cuddling closer into his side. "We'll go out on the Jolly and we'll drop it in the ocean. We'll never see it again."

"Okay," Killian murmured quietly, and Emma felt him press a kiss into her hair. "Good."

* * *

_**(Yes, Now I'll get back to Failure to appear... smacks self on back of head)**_

_**Don't forget to leave us a note. We live on tears and kitten gifs!**_


	84. Sparrow

_**Pure Crack fic. I wanted to see jack sparrow in storybrooke... **_

* * *

It was just past 10 am when Emma awoke to the sound of pounding at her door. She shot to her feet, rapidly getting dressed before she remembered that at 10am killian had probably been up for hours already. On days she didn't work he often snuck out of bed in the early hours only to slip back in mid morning when she was more inclined towards considering the morning 'good.'

She opened the door to her bedroom and heard the front door open downstairs.

"Aye, lad, what's the matter?"

"Henry," Emma called, hurrying down the stairs, "I thought you were staying at Regina's…"

"You're here!" Henry was saying excitedly to Killian. "And if you're here then who's on your ship?"

Killian raised an eyebrow…. "pardon?"

Henry grabbed Killian's hook and dragged him over to the window, shoving him towards the telescope. "Look…. it… shouldn't be doing that right?"

Killian obligingly looked through the lens and Emma could see the exact moment his muscles tensed. "… bloody hell? I have to get down there!"

Emma stepped between him and the door with a grin, "I have a faster way." offering one hand to Killian and the other to Henry. In the blink of an eye, all three were standing on the docks watching the Jolly Roger move progressively farther away.

Emma's eyes widened and Killian cursed, Emma grabbed his hand again, shooting Henry an apologetic look. He knew what she was doing the instant before she did it and opened his mouth to protest, but there was no way Emma would take Henry aboard a ship when she didn't know who was in command. Henry had other ideas though, reaching out and snagging Killian's wrist. All three of them reappeared on the deck of the Jolly and in moments Killian's sword was drawn.

Killian had taken three steps toward the man at the helm before Henry let out a woop of laughter. Killian hesitated at Henry's laughter and turned,

"You know this fiend?"

"Now that is a neat trick," the pirate behind the wheel commented lazily, "Where exactly does one go about learning tricks like that?"

"Jack Sparrow?" Henry said, his laughter barely contained.

"Captain… _Captain_ Jack Sparrow."

Henry grinned, "he said the thing, mom."

"There's only one captain aboard this ship, Sparrow," Killian growled, "and I'd happily take your head to ensure you agree."

Sparrow drew his blade and Emma launched herself forward. "Woah, woah okay… no. This is where I draw the line."

Killian and Sparrow looked up at her in surprise but she just turned to Sparrow.

"Your name… is Johnny Depp. You are _not_ a pirate…"

The man glanced around the ship meaningfully. "Well love, I did in fact just commandeer this little boat… "

"Ship-" Killian interrupted

"…So in fact, that does make me a pirate. Along with a host of other qualifications. If you'd like to come back to my cabin we can discuss them in great de-"

"No," Emma insisted, "No, you are an actor. You pretend to be a pirate in a movie. Come on, I saw you in a Starbucks in New York one time… you are _not_a pirate."

"Ah, so we've met before? Come closer love, perhaps I'll remember you?"

Emma stepped forward but Killian reached out and grabbed her arm. "Whatever you may believe, Swan, that blade is real enough."

The comment made her pause. What exactly were the chances that Johnny Depp gets into full costume before accidentally wandering into a magical town and trying to steal Killian's ship.

"You live in France," she insisted, "or LA… or both, I don't know… don't you own an island?"

"Oh, love, _now _you're speaking my language. Give me a heading to this island I own-"

"This is insane-" Emma sighed.

"Can I please cut off his tongue now, Emma?" Killian asked in irritation.

"No, Killian, he's not… look Mr. De…Sparrow-"

"Captain."

"Captain Sparrow," Killian's eyes narrowed and Emma sighed in exasperation, "Come back with us to port, we'll get you some rum and get you the heading for your island, ok?"

He considered the proposition for a moment before nodding "Aye, we have an accord."

"Step away from the helm-" Killian seethed.

Sparrow sheathed his blade and allowed Killian to take the wheel, making immediately for the hatch to the captain's quarters. Killian tensed but Emma put her hand on his shoulder…

"Let him go, Killian, he's probably just looking for rum." She turned to Henry who was buried in his phone. "Find anything kid?"

"We have a problem."

"I noticed…. how big is our problem?"

Henry held up his phone to her so she could read the headline:

**_Johnny Depp missing since late yesterday evening; Foul play suspected. His wife is offering a financial reward for any information that leads to the safe recovery of her husband…_**

Emma groaned. "This is really bad."

* * *

"So this island I own… there will be rum there, aye?"

"Yeah," Emma stalled, as they disembarked, "loads of it… barrels of it. Killian give him your flask … it will keep him occupied."

"I am _not_ giving him my flask."

"So," Henry interrupted, "That's a really cool sword, Captain Sparrow." Killian bristled but Emma just jabbed him in the stomach as they walked.

"It is indeed, lad."

"I mean it's not as good as Killian's-"

Now it was Sparrows turn to bristle, "I'll have you know I stole this from one of the finest blacksmiths in-"

"Yeah sure, but Killian's is… really really cool. I can't imagine yours could possibly be cooler."

"Oy," Sparrow pulled out the blade, and this time it was Killian who grabbed Emma's arm, a half smirk on his lips. "Take a look at this beauty-"

Henry held out his hand and Sparrow leaned closer so Henry could see it. In a flash, Henry had grabbed the handle, wrenched it out of the man's hand and dashed out of reach, blade extended toward the pirate.

"That… was cheating," Sparrow commented with a half grin. "Where'd you learn to be so tricky?"

"I learned from the best pirate around," Henry insisted, a proud smirk on his lips only rivaled by Killian's.

Now disarmed Emma pulled out her handcuffs, "I'm really sorry about this, but we can't have you wandering off while we figure out how to get you home."

"Ah… you're one of those lasses, aye? All right love, have your fun."

"Shut up, Sparrow," Killian grumbled.

_"Captain."  
_

"Not without a ship, you're not."

"I'm in the market, as it were."

Henry was practically bouncing on his toes in excitement. "Next say the rum thing. Please, where's the rum, Captain Sparrow?"

"Not here, apparently?" he replied sullenly.

"Right, and if it's not here it's-" Henry prodded.

"Henry," Emma interrupted, "Come on, kid, really?"

Emma apologized all the way back to the sheriff's station and once more for good measure as they locked the cell door behind him. Before long everyone had gathered in the sheriff's station though Emma insisted they move into the office before speaking.

"What if he remembers…." she whispered.

Safely situated in the office she turned to Regina, "What the hell is going on?"

"Well clearly the town line is playing tricks on us again."

"So what, we just toss him back over the line and hope for the best? What if he remembers where we are, what if he remembers what he did?"

"Well whatever we do," Henry commented, "we better do it quick." He held up his phone, "they know he was driving this way, it's only a matter of time before someone follows in search of that reward."

"Ok… Ok, fine," Emma said, "We drive him out to the town line, toss him over and hope like hell he doesn't remember a magical town and-"

"Swan-" Killian interrupted.

"What?"

He nodded towards the cell. The now very _empty_ cell.

"Of course," Emma sighed in resignation, "of course he remembers how to pick locks..."


	85. Open Heart, Open Wound

**Open Heart, Open Wound**

**Canon divergence where Emma goes back for Killian instead of leaving him at the top of the beanstalk. Based on nothingimpossibleonlyimprobable 's prompt which frankly I don't even remember exactly what it was at this point but considering the source this will not be kittens and rainbows… Get your tissues (and your alcohol of choice) ready now this one is gunna hurt... **

**This does have one of my apparently famous blended timelines going on so we've italicized one of the timelines for clarity.**

**Cowritten by lynyrdwrites and gusenitsaa and guest starring nothingimpossibleonlyimprobable for added heartbreak. ****We apologize in advance … Or I do anyway. Nothingimpossibleonlyimprobable and Lynyrdwrites probably just laugh at your pain.**

* * *

_"You appear to have wandered away from your Princess, Captain."_

_ Hook froze at the comment, spoken in a voice that some might have called matronly, but that to him, hinted only at death. Anyone who spent any significant length of time with Cora quickly learned that any maternal instinct she might have once claimed had been destroyed years ago. For a moment, he considered playing the turncoat. But all it took was one look at the witch to know that she wouldn't be fooled by such an act._

_ "I doubt Emma would appreciate hearing the title," he said instead, "She's not exactly the royal type."_

_ "You've come to admire her," Cora replied, an almost idle sounding observation. Except Cora's comments were never idle. The woman's every breath was calculated, and Hook could already see her working out the best way to use this new bit of information. It would do him no good to deny it. She'd known him for too long. He tried regardless. _

_ "I admire many," he responded lightly. "Luckily for me, admiration and loyalty are two very different beasts."_

_ "Oh, I do wish I could believe you, Captain" – Cora's smile gave the lie to her words; she didn't wish that at all, probably even preferred whatever was about to come next – "I enjoyed your company. You were charming, up to a point. However, when you chose to allow Emma Swan to keep that compass rather than bring it to me… well, you lost much of your appeal."_

_ It wasn't truly surprising, Hook supposed, when she thrust her hand into his chest. It was still, however, painful. When she pulled the hand back out and squeezed the heart in her palm Hook went down to a knee, his hand clutching at his chest._

_ "How interesting," Cora murmured, her avid gaze inspecting his heart. It took him a moment to realize what had so enthralled her, and when he did, it made his throat feel tight. "Perhaps it's more than mere admiration?"_

_ Hook had always suspected his heart would be black. Centuries spent chasing vengeance and doing the dirty deeds of a demon-child? It had been a price he'd had been willing to pay, so long as he skinned his crocodile in the end. The heart in Cora's hands? Yes, there were shadows chasing across its surface, but they were complemented by a vibrant shining red. Hook met the witch's gaze over the still beating mass of his heart, and a smile curved her lips that made shivers race down his spine._

_ "Don't worry, Captain. I'll make sure you remember everything that comes next."_

* * *

He didn't stop screaming her name, as though he knew how she leaned against the wall, just beyond his line of sight, her head dropped back against the cold stone. She tried to leave, tried to force her feet to move but each time another cry of "Swan" echoed from the cavernous room and stopped her short.

_Have I told you a lie?_

Finally his screams stopped and for a moment Emma wondered if Anton had kept his word not to kill the pirate. Her stomach tightened into a knot but she shook her head. Anton wouldn't do that. She had his word. His word, that was far more trustworthy than a pirate's… probably.

And she was wasting her head start.

She made it all the way to the top of the beanstalk, and had started to make her way down when there was a tug at her hand, a scarf that wasn't hers caught on one of the thorns. She let out a huff, marveling at how the man could be so irritating when he wasn't even here. But the scarf was a reminder... of him, of the look in his eyes as he'd laughed and told her they made a good team. The look in his eyes as she left him behind, chained against his will, betrayal and anger and shock...

Her stomach fell, because hadn't she been in his shoes before? Hadn't she been the one, abandoned and locked up and left floundering, wondering what to do next?

_Try something new, darling…_

She pulled herself back up to the top, mentally calling herself a hundred different kinds of fool. But guilt drove her, and her instincts screamed at her to trust him, so she ignored the scared teenager that she had never quite stopped being - the one that remembered all too well what had happened the last time she had trusted a smooth talking boy. Because she was in the land of fairytales now. Perhaps… in the land of fairytales, you do as fairytales did… you take a leap of faith?

She snuck back into the cavern without him noticing and he was pacing back and forth cursing himself for being bested by a pretty face. He tugged at the chain uselessly and for a moment she was back in that hospital, her own wrists tied to a bed. She slipped out from behind the rock into his view and his arm went limp. He didn't scream, didn't say her name, just watched her for a long moment.

"Change your mind about letting me live, Swan?" he finally asked.

* * *

"If you betray us, Hook, I will kill you myself."

"Wouldn't have it any other way," he teased and she thought she shouldn't but she smiled slightly as she unlocked the shackle. They were halfway down the beanstalk before he finally asked her the question that had echoed in the silence between them.

"Why come back? You had me bested again. Why bother?"

"I still had your scarf." she replied, her shoulders hunching in discomfort at a question she wasn't sure she knew the answer to. "Not all of us are pirates."

"You're not a very good liar, Swan."

"You would know," she retorted sharply.

"Aye, I would."

The tone of resignation in his voice surprised her though, and she glanced up at him. "So since you know me so well, why don't you tell me why I came back?"

"Because you knew that I would have kept my end of the bargain," he offered simply.

"I still don't know that," she retorted. It was a thought that hadn't been far from her mind since the moment his shackle hit the floor. Because this was truly a blind faith, and while Emma was in the land of fairytales, her mind was now all too helpfully supplying her with the list of all the times she'd had anything but a happily ever after.

"And…" he continued, "you didn't want to be the one doing the abandoning."

His words chilled her and she dropped her eyes to look for her next handhold. No one had ever called her out on her emotional walls as easily as this blue-eyed pirate did. It left her on edge around him, uncertain how to react to a stranger who seemed to understand her so very well.

"You don't know me," she said tersely.

"Perhaps I'd like to." There was something a little too close to sincerity in his voice and she looked away, guarding herself again by looking for her next handhold on the beanstalk.

"Hook?" she finally said.

"Hmm?"

"Stop talking," she grumbled.

He just laughed, "You'd miss my playful banter, love."

"How can I miss it if it never stops?"

When the ground finally came into view Emma leaned out to estimate the distance remaining, when suddenly the beanstalk shook violently. Her hand slipped and she grasped for balance, her hand closing on the cold metal of a hook where she had expected vine.

"Now then, aren't you glad you didn't leave me behind?" he teased as Emma released his hook in surprise.

"If I had, I'd be on the ground by now. Hurry, that'll be Mulan."

"Mulan?" he replied, and it was somewhat gratifying, to know that he couldn't predict her every move.

"I told her to give us ten hours, and then cut this thing down. So unless you want to end up as a splattered pirate, I'd move faster."

They made it to the bottom of the beanstalk, barely, falling the last of the distance and landing with a groan in the dust. Killian helped her to her feet and Emma rolled her eyes at the wink he flashed her as she brushed the dust from her clothes. Her hand moved to her pocket, checking to see if the compass was broken but when her fingers slipped inside, she found the pocket empty.

Adrenaline shot through her and she searched the ground for a moment before her eyes snapped up to Hook... who was turning it over in his hand admiring the way it gleamed in the sunlight. Her muscles tensed. Already? He had already betrayed her? He grinned and shrugged when he caught her eye.

"Pirate," he offered by way of explanation before tossing the compass back to her.

"Now what?" Emma asked, glancing at the compass briefly and trying to steady her pounding heart.

"We need to find Cora," Snow filled in.

"No. You need to get to lake Nostos," Hook interrupted, resettling his bag on his shoulder and brushing the dust from his own clothes.

"We just go to lake Nostos without the dust?" Emma asked. "You said we needed-"

"Cora will find us, my dear," Hook replied. "And I suggest you be well situated to use that portal when she opens it. You'll be needing an escape route."

"If she's going to be opening the portal how do we know she won't just use it to get to storybrooke before we get there?" Emma asked.

"She can't use this kind of portal without the compass. She'd be ripped between three different worlds."

Aurora looked at him suspiciously, "And how do we know you're not just delivering the compass to her?"

"You don't," Hook shrugged, "unless you've a better idea, Princess?"

"How do you know that?" Snow broke in hurriedly.

"I didn't, but that's a curious tidbit," he replied and Snow flushed, realizing that he had been talking to Aurora.

"All right, enough," Emma interrupted, "we don't have time for this... where the hell are we going?"

* * *

They walked for what seemed like hours without stopping and it was all Emma could do to hold back her groan. She'd always considered herself to be in good shape, thanks to a lifetime of running and chasing and fighting for everything she had... but the beanstalk had tired muscles she certainly wasn't used to using. Each time she considered asking for a break she glanced up at Hook leading the way through the brush and clenched her teeth. _If he doesn't need a break… neither do I_, she thought stubbornly.

To her relief, Aurora occasionally needed to stop and detangle her skirts from some obstacle or other and it gave Emma the chance to relax and stretch out aching muscles.

"He's taking us in circles," Emma grumbled aloud. "I swear I've seen that tree three times."

"He's not," Mulan responded.

"Wait, why are we letting the pirate lead if you already know where this lake is?" Emma asked, ignoring Hook's scoff of indignation from ahead.

"I wanted to see if he would try to take us the wrong way," Mulan replied matter-of-factly from behind her.

"Besides," Snow added, "I'd rather keep my eye on him."

"Can't fault the lady for appreciating a good view," Hook interjected, turning to give Snow a wink to which she just rolled her eyes and fell back to walk with Mulan and Aurora.

"Why do you do that?" Emma asked, her voice annoyed as she moved to catch up with him.

"What's that, Swan?"

"Flirt with everything that moves."

"Jealous, love?"

"You wish."

"Desperately."

"You know, Hook, you're kind of an open book too." His smirk flickered briefly before he solidified the mask. He opened his mouth to speak but Emma cut him off. "No, it's my turn. This woman, Milah… you loved her, truly. If you didn't you'd hardly start a grudge match with the most powerful dark magician in the world."

"Worlds," Hook amended, eyes cold.

"You loved her, and yet now you treat every woman you meet as a conquest. Knowing full well it will just drive them away. What I don't get is why. You can turn on the charm when you want something, I've seen you do it. So why? Why drive people away instead?"

His jaw tightened but he didn't drop his gaze. "Come as close as you like, sweetheart, I'll not complain."

To his surprise she just chuckled to herself. "Fine, Captain, keep your secrets, but I will figure you out."

"What makes you so certain there's anything to figure out?"

"Well… I've already bested you twice," she replied with a half smile before finally dropping back to walk with her mother.

"Three times," he muttered under his breath.

He could hear Swan talking with Snow behind him and he took the moment of privacy that she had allowed him to collect himself. No one had spoken to him with such bluntness in a very long time and it was unnerving, to have one's mask ripped away so completely.

His crew knew better than to mention her name. And Cora, well Cora simply didn't care why their goals aligned, only that they had. But Swan, Swan saw right through his charade from the moment they met. And when he exchanged one mask for another, it was just as transparent as the first had been. He shook his head in frustration. He couldn't worry about the Swan girl now. Not when he had just allied himself against Cora. He could worry about Emma when he was in Storybrooke, preferably after skinning his crocodile.

"Killian?" His head shot up at the sound of a name that he had not used in a very long time. He'd allowed himself to get distracted and Emma had once more come up behind him. She'd probably been trying to get his attention if the confused look on her face was any indication. "Hey, Hook, you… ok?" He nodded distractedly and her eyebrow lifted. "We thought we should make camp, before it gets dark? Mary Margaret says there's some rock caves not far from here that can provide us some protection for the night."

Mary Margaret led the way now and the rock scramble up to the caves was just about more than Emma's sore muscles could handle after climbing a beanstalk, fighting a giant, falling off a beanstalk and trekking miles through the woods all in a single day, but once they reached their destination she could see why Mary Margaret had chosen the spot. It gave them an unparalleled view of their surroundings, plenty of warning should an enemy stumble across their trail.

"Should we… I don't know… gather firewood or something?" Emma asked uncertainly, but her mother shook her head.

"No fires tonight, Emma. It's too dangerous. Every ogre for miles would see us."

Hook settled at the mouth of the cave his left arm draped lazily over one bent leg, his hook glinting in the last light of the sunset. For not the first time today she asked herself what she was thinking. Captain Hook. The _real_ Captain Hook. And she was trusting him?

She moved to sit on the ledge of the cave mouth, sighing in relief at finally being able to rest.

"All right there, Swan?"

"Apparently I need to add beanstalk climbing muscles to my workout plan," she grumbled.

"Well if you need some help working out those knots… I've only got the one hand but I assure you I make good use of it."

Emma rolled her eyes and looked out over the darkening landscape.

"Why are you really doing this, Hook?" she asked, still not looking at him.

"I'm helpless to resist the charms of a beautiful woman," he replied and she could hear the smirk in his voice.

"Cut the crap, Killian"

He chuckled to himself and was quiet for a long while before he spoke again. "That name, Killian… it belonged to a man I've not been for a long while now. People don't call me Killian."

"I bet people have a lot of names for you that aren't Killian," she retorted.

"Granted."

"Would you prefer I call you Hook? It's just a little weird for me," she admitted, "I feel like you should be wearing more red when I call you Hook."

A look of confusion passed over his face but she just shrugged not quite willing to get into that conversation right now. He remained silent for a time his eyes watching the fading light of the sunset as it gleamed off the silver of his hook. When he finally looked up again there was something different in his eyes and Emma couldn't help but wonder if she was meeting Killian for the first time.

"Killian will do."

* * *

Mulan woke Emma with a hand on her shoulder and the whispered words of 'Second watch.'

Darkness had fallen completely now, but an almost full moon lit the landscape as she moved back to her post at the mouth of the cave. Snow had convinced Aurora to sleep and for the time being, she looked quite peaceful. Killian though... still sat just outside the cave where she had left him to get a few hours sleep during Mulan's watch.

"You're not on watch," Emma said, as she settled herself next to him, covering a yawn with one hand.

"I can't imagine why you lot wouldn't want a pirate watching over you while you rest."

"So... why are you still awake?"

"Something about Mulan's glare and naked blade made sleep not forthcoming," he said, a half-smile on his lips.

"I don't think she's the type to kill a sleeping man."

"Likely not," he replied, "but I haven't survived this long by assuming good form."

"Because you're so old and wise?" She teased, "Please, you can't be much older than I am."

"Looks can be deceiving. Your mother looks no older than you, Swan."

"How much farther, to the beach?" she asked, trying to change the subject from the absurdity that was her family tree.

"If we make good time we'll be there well before sunset tomorrow."

She tried to let it go but her curiosity had her spinning possibilities that couldn't possibly be any stranger than reality. "Is this like a lord of the rings thing?" she burst out, glancing suspiciously down at the rings on his right hand.

"I haven't a clue what you're talking about, love."

"Like one of those rings gives you super long life or something?"

"Not exactly." He chuckled, "I don't think you would believe me if I told you."

"I climbed a beanstalk yesterday, fought a giant. I'm trying to reach a portal which I need a magic compass and fairy dust to open…"

"Not fairy dust, wardr-"

"Just answer the question, Jones."

"Two hundred something… maybe three…" he admitted. "I'm not entirely certain myself anymore."

"Two or three hundred." She replied, her jaw dropped open and he chuckled. "How do you lose track of a century?"

"Neverland… it's a very… peculiar place."

Emma sat in stunned silence for a while until finally she laughed. She covered her mouth to cut off the sound before she woke the others, but her shoulders shook in an effort to restrain the sound.

"This is insane," she finally got out, leaning her head down into one hand.

"Says the daughter of Snow White," Killian commented, shifting to stretch out stiff muscles and reposition himself.

The surrealness of her situation pressed itself upon her again, she was keeping watch for ogres next to Captain Hook with Snow White, Sleeping Beauty and Mulan asleep in the cave behind her. Henry would be so jealous when he found out she had met Mulan.

Her eyes suddenly filled with tears at the thought of her son and she wiped them away quickly. She'd never make it back to Henry if she was too busy crying to notice someone creeping up on her camp.

"You all right, Swan?"

Maybe it was her exhaustion, maybe it was the gentleness of his tone but she bit back the sarcastic response that popped into her head and decided to tell him the truth.

"I miss him," she sighed.

"Your lad?"

She nodded, taking a deep breath to calm herself by sheer force of will.

"How old is he?"

"Twelve. I don't even know him _that_ well," she admitted. "But ever since he found me it's just been… I told myself he'd never have to be alone and now I'm here and I just... I need to get back to him."

"Oh the things we do for our children." Emma glanced over at him and caught a wistful look in his eyes that he quickly masked when he noticed her gaze. "You'll get back to your lad, Swan."

"And what about you Killian? You know I'm the sheriff of that ridiculous town you're trying to get to. I can't let you go around murdering people on my watch. You gunna make me keep you locked up?"

She watched him as he considered her, and she could practically watch the walls go back up in his eyes.

"You do seem to enjoy tying me up."

He leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes It couldn't be comfortable, his spot against the rock wall but his arm dropped back to his side and within moments his breathing had deepened as he drifted off to sleep. Suddenly she realized she had no idea how she was supposed to know when to wake Snow for the next watch.

"Killian?" she whispered insistently.

"Hmmmm?"

"How do I know when my watch is over?"

He pointed with his left arm without opening his eyes. "The moon," he murmured drowsily, "it'll be there."

She spent her watch going over and over again every single thing that happened today. Every word, every moment. Henry would want to know everything… when she got back to him. When the moon finally reached the place Killian had indicated she roused Snow, crawling back to her bedroll and barely managing to collapse onto it before she was sound asleep.

* * *

Emma awoke this time to Snow shaking her shoulder violently. It was not yet dawn, the first light of the impending sunrise casting a greyish hue into the cave.

"Get up Emma, we have company," Snow whispered.

Killian was already up and she hurried over to him while Snow hurriedly moved to wake Mulan and Aurora.

"What's going on?" she asked him.

"Cora," he replied grimly. "She knows we're here." His eyes were fixed on movement in the brush below them and she followed his gaze.

"What are they?"

"The dead."

"Excuse me?" Emma gaped as the figures moved closer, "Are you telling me that Cora has zombies? This is ridiculous-"

"Ridiculous or not they'll still kill you." Turning back into the cave he advanced on Aurora.

"What are you doing?" she asked, backing away from him.

"Saving your life," he retorted in annoyance. He grabbed a section of her skirts, ripping off the bottom foot of fabric from a section of the dress with his hook.

"How _dare_ you!" Aurora cried and Snow stepped forward, but to everyone's surprise she turned and handed a short knife to Aurora.

"Do it yourself, then, but he's right. You can't run in these skirts." Snow turned to dig in her pack and pulled out the sword and sword belt they had taken from Killian when they met. "I think you're going to need this, Captain."

He took it, giving Snow that roguish grin of his. "I think you might actually be coming to care, majesty."

"Or she realizes that you're of no use to us if you're dead," Mulan pointed out bluntly, pushing her way past the pirate to lead their flight away from the creatures that Cora had sent after them. Emma moved past Hook as he let out a huff.

"Is she always so bloody charming?" he muttered, which made Emma chuckle and raise a brow at him.

"She's keeping us alive. I think that's better than charm."

The zombies were somehow both more and less intimidating than the movies portrayed them. Emma's first look at them was from a distance, but it was eerie; the way they looked so normal, yet there was something unnatural in the way they moved.

"Staring isn't going to make them any less dead, love, or any less intent on killing you." Emma jerked in surprise at Hook's voice, and he raised a brow as he stood by her side, watching the corpses moving toward them. "Let's get going, before they decide they want to run."

"They can run?" she winced, but Mulan had brushed past her, Aurora on her heels, newly shortened dress ragged but safe from catching on the brush. Snow grabbed her arm and half dragged her forward, following Mulan towards what looked like the clearest path.

What the creatures had in numbers they made up for in sheer stupidity. They aimed mindlessly for the cave, only turning to attack if they happened to stumble across the path of the escaping group. Still no one said a word and everyone remained tense and silent. Finally the quiet grew too much and Emma spoke up in annoyance.

"These things are ridiculous...What are you guys so worried abo-"

A hand slipped over her mouth and instantly she jabbed her elbow back into Hook's leather vest, he let out a grunt of pain as she spun on him. Her mouth opened to yell at him when she saw fear in his eyes and Snow rushed towards her.

"They follow the orders of the one who holds their heart," Snow whispered, "the only reason they haven't converged on us is because Cora doesn't know exactly where we are. If she-"

"Too late," Hook broke in, "she's found us. Run."

_Now_ Emma understood what they were worried about. The creatures had new life; they ran, making a beeline for their quarry, coming out of the woods from every side. Hook's blade flew, cutting down the creatures right and left as he and Mulan cut their way through the woods while Snow's arrows left a trail of the creatures pinned and struggling on the trees.

They came to a fork in the road and paused, "How do we kill these things," Emma cried, dislodging one that had caught up with them with an elbow to its nose before Mulan took it's head.

"You don't," Hook growled, "they're already dead." Emma shuddered in disgust as the headless creature crawled forward.

"So what do we do?"

"Keep running-" Snow said, grabbing Emma's arm and tugging her down one of the paths that Mulan had already dragged Aurora down.

Hook kicked the headless monster back, turning away from the fork in the road.

"What are you doing?" Emma called back when she realized he wasn't following.

"Something stupid," he grumbled in irritation.

"No-."

"I'll be fine."

"Killian-"

He spun towards her, "Do not make this both stupid and useless, Swan. Run." A fire burned in his eyes and she took a step back instinctively. He twirled his blade with a flourish and a wicked grin flicked over his face.

And then Snow had grabbed her arm again, half dragging her down the path. They were out of sight in moments, dense underbrush blocking their sight but not the sound of metal on metal that echoed through the trees.

"This is wrong," Emma murmured slowing down and Snow gripped her hand again.

"How certain are you that he didn't stay behind to show them which way we went," Snow growled insistently. "If he sends them after us we cannot fight them all, do you understand?"

Emma nodded reluctantly and they ran.

* * *

_"Cora, wait- we can… discuss this," She gave his heart the briefest of squeezes and Hook doubled over, agony stealing his breath from him in an instant._

_"My dear Captain, there is nothing left to discuss. You chose her; but I can still salvage the mess that you've made. You just make sure that dearest Emma makes it to that beach today without finding out what a heartless pirate you truly are and I'll take care of the rest."_

_"You don't have to do th-"_

_"Return to your Princess, Captain, and do nothing that will arouse her suspicions."_

_The words held the weight of an order and Killian was walking again. He didn't know where he was going, had no idea where Swan had gone in the time since he had led the creatures away from her. But Cora must have known…_

_Killian's movements felt robotic... Surely she would notice, surely she could tell..._

He heard Emma before he saw her, and made a mental note that they needed to work on Swan's ability to move through the wild. Making so much noise would get her killed. Then came the sinking thought, that teaching her such things would never be his role. Even if they, by some miracle, managed to get around Cora… he would not survive the witch's displeasure.

"Killian!" Emma gasped out, and he came up short at the sound of his name from her lips, foreign and familiar all at once.. She stumbled forward, and for a single moment, he thought she might hug him. But she seemed to come to her senses a step away from him, her forward momentum halting abruptly. It left them staring at each other, until she finally cleared her throat and glanced away.

"Have you seen Mulan and Aurora?" Snow cut in, breaking through the awkward silence.

"I thought they were with you?"

"We got separated," Snow admitted. "Mulan set off on her own to find Aurora."

"She's quite competent with a blade, I'm sure she'll be fine."

There was another moment of silence and finally Emma spoke. "I thought the Walking Dead rejects might have gotten to you."

"I have no idea what that means," Killian admitted, "It simply took me some time to find you again. Got rather turned around leading the beasties away."

_Just like that, Captain. Nothing clever, now. _Cora's voice was an insidious whisper in the back of his mind, making his stomach churn in disgust.

"I'll introduce you to Netflix when we get to Storybrooke," Emma responded, her lips curving into a small smile. "Who knows, maybe you'll even like it."

He wanted to tell her to run. He, who had spent centuries chasing his revenge, wanted to do something selfless for the first time since… it had been too long to remember. He wanted to tell her to forget about him, to take her mother, and to flee as fast as she could and never look back.

_Charm her, Captain._

Instead, his lips curved into a smirk against his will and he closed the distance between them, so they stood just a little closer than was necessarily polite.

"I look forward to anything you can teach me, Swan." He saw her swallow, and threw her a wink that made her roll her eyes, but she grabbed his arm to push him ahead of her. He chuckled, but the heart that was no longer his mourned.

"I'm glad you didn't get turned into a zombie," Emma commented as he moved, carefully holding a branch out of the way for her to pass.

"I still don't know what that means, love."

"A zombie. Those heartless things, they look like zombies from a television show in-" she paused at the look of confusion on his face and a small smile flitted onto her lips. "You know what never mind."

"Not all zombies look like that, Emma." A bolt of agony that Cora wouldn't allow him to show shot through the empty space where his heart should have been.

_What did I tell you about being clever… _Cora hissed.

"What do you mean?" Emma asked.

Killian felt his shoulders shrug but Snow glanced back at them. "He means those creatures. They looked like that because they were dead before she took their hearts."

"You can take the heart of a living person?" Emma shuddered, "That sounds… painful." She glanced over at Killian. His jaw was tense and he stared straight ahead.

"Killian? You all right?"

"I may be a pirate but I bristle at the thought of a woman losing her heart. Unless it's over me."

"A woman?" her eyes were curious but he felt himself shrug again as Cora grew tired of his rebellion. Her words slipped through his mouth as easily and as flippantly as if he were discussing the weather.

"It's a long and tedious story, Swan, and one I'm not particularly interested in recounting at present."

She nodded, confusion apparent in her eyes. "Killian, I… " she paused looking down and then back at him rapidly. "So let's talk about something else, Actually, I wanted to thank you, Killian… For what you did back there. Leading those creatures away, you probably saved all of us."

"You'd be surprised the extent of the stupidy I will undertake for the sake of a beautiful woman." He could practically hear Cora's laughter echoing in his head at her little joke and his stomach churned with nausea.

"Is that what this is?" Emma retorted. "Because it's your stupid plan. I mean we don't even know how to get the portal open-"

"I'm quite certain that Cora will have taken care of that by the time you arrive. You need only get there."

"You're showing a lot of faith in our ability to get to Storybrooke, Killian."

There was something in her eyes, a vulnerability maybe, that made the heart that was no longer in Killian's chest clench. He didn't like to see such a look in her eyes, he realized, and his next words came without any prompting from Cora.

"I think you can do anything you put your mind to, Swan."

Her answering smile was like a punch to his gut, and he had to stop walking for a moment and let Emma and her mother get a bit ahead of him. He rubbed his chest, and found himself thinking that in another time, under different circumstances, he would very much like to see exactly what Emma Swan was capable of.

But in this place and time… a sharp pain in his chest reminded him that he had his orders, and each step he took after the women felt heavier the last.

* * *

The lakebed was dry, but he could still smell it on the wind. What had once probably smelled of plant growth and slightly stagnant water now smelled only of dust. They were close.

He yearned to warn Emma, to say something to prepare her but Cora kept her grip on him tight now, and he couldn't say a word. Snow put out a hand to stop them as the lake bed came into view. Cora's back was to them, but she knew they were there.

"Wait," Snow whispered, "let her open the portal first."

The wind picked up instantly and the portal sprang into view in front of Cora.

Snow nodded. "We just have to get past her now, you ready?"

Emma nodded and they stepped out of the brush onto the lake bed.

Cora's back remained towards them but Killian felt her grip on his heart tighten even further.

_Take the compass, Captain,_ she whispered.

Her words were once more laced with power and he turned towards Emma instantly. The look of anger and pain on her face gave him pause for only a moment before his sword was out of its sheath and flying towards her.

_Damn it, Swan, move, _he thought.

At the last moment there was the clash of metal on metal as she raised her own sword to defend herself.

"Why are you doing this, Hook?" she cried as he advanced, one strike after another backing her along the lake bed towards the swirling portal. Cora vanished and appeared behind them, and Snow broke away from them to face the witch

"Just give me the compass Swan," he growled, "I don't want to hurt you."

Her eyes narrowed and he saw fire in her eyes. She charged forward attacking with more spirit than finesse, and he easily disarmed her, the sword flying to the side. But that didn't stop her, she kept flying forward, knocking him backward with a kick to his chest that knocked the wind out of him. His own blade flew from his grip and she landed hard on his chest one boot coming down on his left arm to keep him pinned.

"Why?" She insisted, murder in her eyes. "Why make us trust you? Why save me just to…"

_Get up, Captain, _Cora's voice insisted.

In an instant he'd flipped them over, and Emma could feel the chill of metal at her throat. Then just as quickly, he was gone. She scrambled to her feet just in time to see him toss his hook into the swirling vortex.

_What the hell-_

He glanced over at her for a moment and then suddenly in an instant she understood. She turned to Cora, enraged. Her mother had her distracted for the moment, just long enough to break her hold on Killian. When she looked back at Killian he'd moved closer to the portal and Emma realized his intention in a moment. She ran towards him, grabbing the back of his vest and pulling him back the moment before he could follow the hook into the portal.

"Killian! No! Without the compass- you'll never make it. You'll be ripped between three different worlds… you told me that, remember?"

"Let me go Swan," he growled.

"No! We'll get your heart back, we're all going home together, you hear me?"

"She'll kill me anyway-" his voice cracked. "Swan, let me go. Let me go or I'll destroy you,"

"I won't let-"

No sooner had the sentiment left her lips, his muscles went rigid and he reached for her, his fingers closing around her throat and cutting off her words. Her mother was at her side in a moment, trying to force Killian away while Cora laughed in the distance. She met his eyes with a pleading gaze and suddenly his grip loosened, his hand dropping back to his side stiffly.

"Finish what you started, Captain," Cora called in a sing song voice, but Killian didn't move. his hand clenched at his side the only evidence of his battle with Cora. Then he crumpled, a cry of pain breaking his silence as Cora produced his heart and dug her fingernails into it.

"Stop it!" Emma cried, dropping to her knees in front of him. Snow released several arrows in Cora's direction but each one vanished in a burst of colored flame before reaching it's target.

"I said," Cora repeated, anger creeping into her voice, "finish what you started, Captain."

Emma could feel the trembling of his muscles as he shook his head, leaning heavily on her shoulder as Cora's grip tightened.

"Go," he hissed into her ear. "Run-"

"We're not leaving you-" she insisted, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Thank you, Emma" he whispered. Then suddenly he had the compass in his hand, slipped from her pocket while she wasn't looking as he'd done once at the base of a beanstalk. Cora laughed with glee, loosening her grip on his heart with a knowing smile. Before Emma realized what he was doing he had grabbed her wrist and twisted the chain of the compass around it then he grabbed Snow's wrist and twisted the rest of the chain around hers. He locked eyes with Emma for a brief moment and then shoved them both backwards carrying all three of them into the swirling portal, the sound of Cora's rage fading rapidly into the howling of the portal. Emma reached for Killian, clutching to a piece of his vest is they hurled towards what she could only hope was Storybrooke.

He landed on his back, and he could see that they had landed at the bottom of a hole of some kind, with trees and open sky above them. The sky that peaked through rusting branches appeared so very blue. So, this was the land without magic. He could feel Emma's hand, still clutching his vest, and he realized with a breathless clarity that he was still alive.

He had accepted his death the moment he'd pushed them into that portal, abandoning his heart to an enraged witch, but somehow… He felt a grin curve his lips, and he reached his hand to touch Emma's, to thank her, because he was alive and somehow, somehow, this must be because of her.

He covered her hand with his, and heard her start to sit up next to him.

"Mary Margaret?" she groaned, "you ok?"

_You've betrayed me for the last time. Her_ voice, cold and insidious and filled with an icy rage made him freeze. This wasn't possible… she was in another realm.

_Here or there, I still have your heart, _Cora taunted._ Goodbye, my dear Captain._

The branches above him rustled, and Killian's eyes were drawn to them. The leaves reminded him of the color of Swan's eyes. He closed his own in the end, not wanting Emma to look into his eyes and see nothing.

The one mercy Cora granted was that she made it quick.

* * *

It took Emma several moments to catch her breath after the portal faded and the world stopped spinning. The chain of the compass bit into her wrist and her other hand was still clenched tight around a leather vest. She felt Killian's hand move to take hers and relief washed over her in a wave.

"Mary Margaret?" she whispered, "you ok?" she sat up and turned to see that her mother too was alright and Snow nodded, moving to untangle the chain from her wrist.

"Killian?" the name fell past Emma's lips on a chuckle, "you did it." She squeezed his hand gently but he didn't return the pressure. "Killian? Come on, pirate? That is not funny."

"Emma, sweetheart-" Snow whispered, but Emma ignored her, twisting her hand free of the chain to reach for Killian. She shook him gently, then harder but he didn't move. Her eyes grew slowly accustomed to the dimness and she brushed her fingers across his cheek half hoping he'd open his eyes and smirk at her, half knowing that he couldn't.

A voice broke through her haze and a face appeared at the top of the well a few feet above them.

"Mom, Grandma?"

"We're here, Henry," Snow called, "Just give us a minute, ok?" She turned back to Emma.

"Emma, I'm sorry, honey," Snow whispered, "I'm so sorry."

Emma shook her head and buried her face into his neck. This isn't how it ends. This can't be how it ends. She did as the fairy tales did, she took a leap of faith. This isn't how fairy tales are supposed to end.

For the first time in all her years, someone had understood her, had seen right through her walls to who she was beneath it all. And she'd let him in, she'd let him past those defenses that kept her safe, _trusted_ him. And he had trusted her as well. He'd let her peak behind the mask he wore to conceal the broken bits of himself, so familiar, so similar to her own.

And once again, she was left behind, holding the lifeless body of a man who believed in her too much.

"Henry's waiting for us, Emma," her mother said, her hand resting lightly on her arm, "let's go up. We'll come back for him, I promise."

"He fought back," she whispered softly. "Cora had his heart, but he fought her, to save us. He knew. He knew what would happen."

Emma felt her mother's fingers tightening on her arm, lending her the strength she didn't have. Without another word, she let Snow help her to her feet, leaving Killian motionless on the ground. He looked so peaceful now, his eyes closed and the smallest hint of a smile on his lips. She had a hard time believing that she had just climbed up and down a beanstalk and trekked through miles of forest with the man who had no life left in him.

As she climbed the rope up to her son, she couldn't help taking one look back at him.

"Thank you, Killian," she whispered, but nobody heard.

* * *

The sound of the water lapping gently against the dock woke her. She didn't know how she'd gotten here or how she'd fallen asleep on the stiff bench next to the water but none of that mattered when the sleepy haze cleared.

"Killian?"

A bright smile slipped over his face, "Swan."

She leapt to her feet and ran towards him, only this time she didn't stop herself. He stumbled backwards when she hit his chest, but his arms closed around her gently.

"You were dead." She whimpered into his vest, "You were…"

"I am dead, love." She stiffened in his arms and he continued, "I'm sorry Emma, this isn't… you see there's this phone booth and … it's all a little confusing but-"

"This is a dream?" she asked mournfully.

"Yes... and no."

"You're not real."

He was quiet for a moment and she felt his fingers brush lightly through her hair.

"When you wake find Regina Mills. Ask her what my father's name was. When she tells you it's Brennan, then you'll know this was real. That I'm real."

Emma nodded.

"Then tell her that her mother is coming. I've known Cora a long time and she _will_ find another way."

"I'm so sorry, Killian," Emma murmured burying her face into his chest, "I didn't mean for this… this isn't how it was supposed to end."

"But it worked? You're home? You got back to your lad?"

She nodded and she felt him press a kiss to the top of her hair.

"Good. Emma, I don't have long-"

"Where are you?" Emma interrupted, "I can find you. They're growing magic beans now and-"

"I don't think magic beans will get you here, Emma. But it's ok." He took her hand, pulling her to the bench by the water. "I just needed to talk with you, to thank you."

Her eyes widened in surprise, "Thank me? I got you killed! You saved me, you got us home… I should be thanking you!"

He smiled warmly, "I did that, didn't I."

"Killian, what you did was…"

"Heroic?"

Emma chuckled, "Humility has never been your strong suit has it?"

He shrugged, "But that's why I'm thanking you, Emma. I saved you… because you saved me first. You helped me find something that… I thought was long gone."

"I wish you were here," she admitted, her voice barely over a whisper.

He pulled her close, his hand finding her hair again and brushing through it soothingly.

"I wish that too love, you've no idea how badly. Swan, listen to me. I don't know how much longer I have or if we'll be permitted to speak again but I wanted you to know that I wouldn't trade them… Those days with you, I wouldn't trade them for another three centuries."

Teals slipped down Emma's cheeks and she took a shuddering breath.

"Please don't cry, love," he whispered.

She stiffened and looked up at him with fire in her eyes. "Don't tell me what to do, Jones. I'm going to damn well cry if I want to!"

"Aye, of course you would."

A grin split his face and he cupped her cheek, brushing a tear away with his thumb. "I'd like to kiss you now, Emma."

Before he had a chance to act on his words she reached for him, grabbing his necklace and dragging him forward as she pushed her lips hard against his. She tasted of chocolate and cinnamon and for a moment he could almost forget about the salt on his lips from the tears that slipped freely down her face. His mouth opened for her, letting her in as the kiss deepened, his lips hungry for every touch of hers, and he could almost taste the goodbye they refused to say.

She needed to breathe though, and he let her pull away, but only a bit as he held his forehead against hers, neither wanting to break apart for good. Their breath mingled in the space between them and the surroundings seemed to melt away. Killian closed his eyes, just feeling every bit of her that he could, memorizing every moment.

He felt her start and his eyes snapped open to see fear in hers. Their surroundings truly were melting away now. The ships in the water growing blurry and distant buildings fading into the growing darkness.

"Killian?" she asked, worry evident in her voice.

"You're waking up," he sighed.

"No! No, I won't!"

"Stubborn lass," he murmured sadly. He stroked her cheek with his hand again and pressed his lips to hers, gently this time.

"I have to go, love," he whispered. "I'm sorry."

"I don't want to lose you," she said, her eyes watering with fresh tears. "I can't lose you, not again."

"You won't. I'll be waiting for you," he murmured softly, "Emma, promise me something?"

The sky was darkening fast and she could no longer make out most of his features as he finally began to fade too.

"Make me wait a long time?"

She nodded, hoping he could still feel her in the gloom that crept closer.

"Goodbye, Killian," she whispered into the darkness. The last thing she saw was his smile, and this time, she knew he heard her.

* * *

**_We eat reviews for breakfast ... Leave us a note (or a string of curses)? _**


	86. Goodnight, my angel

_**So xhookswenchx , lynyrdwrites and I had so much fun doing captain charming swan / daddy charming interactions over at askONCE we maaay have turned it into a full fledged story for you. Just in time for captain charming friday! Enjoy. (Seeeeee good things can happen in the corner...)**_

* * *

**Goodnight, my angel **

_Goodnight, my angel, now it's time to sleep_

_And still so many things I want to say_

_Remember all the songs you sang for me_

_When we went sailing on an emerald bay_

_And like a boat out on the ocean_

_I'm rocking you to sleep_

_The water's dark and deep, inside this ancient heart_

_You'll always be a part of me_

_(lyrics by Billy Joel)_

She was back in the kitchen again, he could hear her slamming cabinets and grumbling to herself and he glanced up from the book he was reading. There was another crash and he got to his feet, moving towards her hesitantly.

"Swan?" he called.

"Not now," she grumbled without turning. "Coffee."

"Emma?" he repeated, though she didn't acknowledge him, just kept rustling through the kitchen, making even more of a racket. "Sweetheart, you'll wake the whole house." Not that there was much to wake. David and Regina had gone off on a lead, and Henry had fallen asleep not too long ago. Still, an overly tired, and cranky teenager was almost as bad as an overtired, and cranky Emma.

She had apparently found what she was looking for because she got to work on the coffee making device, her back still turned to him.

"Emma, I know this doesn't seem the place for it but… magical as coffee may be it's no substitute for sleep."

"Yeah I know. You want me to take a nap, Killian. Here? Now? There are a million reasons why that's a bad idea." Her shoulders stiffened, the old argument no more welcome this time than it had been any other time he'd brought it up in the last few days.

* * *

He leaned against the counter, quiet a moment while she finished setting up her concoction to brew and finally turned back to him. Her eyebrows raised, as if waiting for the argument to come again and he sighed.

"I told you once that I ditched my crew and outran a curse," his eyes dropped and she came around the counter, reaching for his hand. Ornery as she might be, she could never help but to reach for his hand when he got that look in his eyes, the faraway look of a long buried memory being pulled carefully to the surface.

"I know Killian and I-"

He squeezed her hand in a silent plea to let him finish and she nodded.

"Do you know what the most dangerous part of sailing alone is, Emma?"

"My guess would be maneuvering that big ship by yourself, but …" she gave him a small smile, "but you're going to enlighten me aren't you?"

He tried to return her smile, but it was a poor imitation of the real thing and he settled for looking down at their joint hands. "The most dangerous part of sailing alone is when you've not slept in sixty hours and your dead brother comes topside and offers to take the helm," his eyes flicked up to hers briefly. "And you almost let him, because you're too bloody exhausted to realize he's still gone."

She stepped closer, burying her head into his neck as his arms come around her lightly.

"Killian I'm s-"

"I didn't tell you this for pity's sake, Emma," his voice was rough but when he looked into her eyes they were bright, and his own gaze softened. "I'm just worried about you."

"Even if I _could_ sleep," her words were quiet now, all the defiance of earlier wiped away by sheer exhaustion. "I'd be no better. Seeing, believing things that aren't true."

"Emma," he sighed, pulling away slightly to look in her eyes. "Your dreams were no fantasy of a delirious mind. There is one more happy ending in that book of your lad's … thanks to you."

"I know, I just… what happens when everything decides to go to hell while I'm napping?" She shook her head and pulled away, the sound of the coffee maker finishing its task drawing her attention. "Being caught off guard can be just as dangerous as staying awake."

He looked like he was going to speak but she turned to face him again. Cupping his face with one hand she drew him in for a soft kiss. When she pulled away she pressed her forehead to his. "It's not for much longer. We can do all the... sleeping you want, once we're home."

Something about the way her eyes crinkled when she said sleep made him swallow hard.

"Swan-" he started, but then her fingers grasped the collar of his jacket in the way that she knew drove him mad and he was going to tell her something... It was damn well important too… but hell if he knew what it was by the time she pulled him forward for a kiss made of fire and magic and _damn it, Swan_.

Dead man or not, by the time she released her grip on his coat his breathing was ragged and he'd swear he could hear his missing heartbeat in his ears. Perhaps the rhythm he felt was hers.

There was the sound of a key turning at the door and she reluctantly pulled herself from his arms, giving him a light peck on the cheek and a grin before turning to collect her coffee from the kitchen. The door to the apartment opened and her father walked in with Regina right on his heels.

"Please tell me you found something," Emma asked, by way of greeting, eying the books in Regina's hand hopefully.

"Possibly," Regina said, "something that may help us with that brick wall."

"Well what are we waiting for?" In no time she had swallowed the rest of her coffee in several large gulps and she and Regina had left the loft, Charming remaining behind with another stack of books. Killian took a breath to compose himself and dropped wearily into the chair next to David, who was eyeing the books in annoyance.

"You all right, mate? Not feeling any more … deceased since our adventure?"

David shrugged, "You're the expert. How exactly do you tell if you feel more dead? Do I look a little paler to you?"

"Usually I can tell because there's a hole in my chest and a Charming with a blade." Killian smiled half-heartedly, "I suppose that's not particularly relevant in your case."

"You just couldn't resist, could you?" David said with a chuckle, the flash of guilt in his eyes quickly soothed by the smile on Killian's face. "Well, pirate, this death won't stick any more than the last one did. Charmings are also stubborn."

"Aye, that they are," Killian grumbled, a tight smile on his lips "Endlessly so. Even if it drives them to bloody exhaustion."

David's eyebrows shot up and Killian knew instantly he'd made a mistake, and it was just possible that Swan was going to come up with a way to kill him. Again.

"I'd be touched by your concern, except I have a feeling we're no longer talking about me," David commented. "You're worried about Emma. What's going on?"

"Course I'm worried about Emma," Killian deadpanned, leaning back in his chair with what he hoped was an air of nonchalance. "She's trapped in the bloody underworld, mate."

"So am I," David retorted. "So is Regina. This isn't the first time we've had the odds stacked against us. This is more than that." David crossed his arms, eyeing Killian suspiciously. "Hook. I'll ask again - what's going on?"

Killian looked down at the table again before he spoke, away from the damn perceptiveness that seemed to run in the family. David was no less stubborn than his daughter and now that he'd the thought in his head that something was wrong, he wouldn't give up until he knew everything. "Dave," he finally started, "before she rescued me did she…did she sleep?" David's eyebrows shot up again but now that Killian had started the words came rushing out. He found that he longed to share the weight of his fears with someone, someone who he knew cared for Emma just as deeply as he did. "I know she didn't sleep when her name was on that blade, and she hasn't since rescuing me, save a few fitful moments on watch…"

"Sleep… I'm… I'm not sure..." Understanding dawned in David's eyes and he rubbed his forehead with one hand. "If she did, it probably wasn't well. Honestly, she spent most of her time after you…" he paused, cutting himself off abruptly to glance over at Killian. "Well, after... she spent a lot of time just wandering that house like a wraith. I had hoped that finding you again might help."

"I've tried to speak with her" Killian admitted, "but …"

"She's stubborn… gets it from her mother," Dave finished with a half smile. "Let me try, Killian. I'll talk to her."

"Thanks, mate."

David nodded, clasping Killian's shoulder with one hand before returning to the stack of books waiting them on the table.

* * *

It wasn't long before David saw his opportunity, Emma came back to the loft fuming. Another plan, another failure.

"Emma," David touched her arm as she stalked by and Killian winced. This was not the time… but he wasn't dissuaded by the glare Killian shot in his direction. "A little birdie told me you've been having some trouble sleeping. Want to talk about it?"

"Would this little birdie have a hook for a wing?" she grumbled. The look Emma sent Hook probably could have run him through again, if he weren't already dead. "Really, I'm fine."

"Way to be subtle, Dave…" Killian grumbled.

"Okay, so maybe not a bird." Dave amended, "He's just worried about you, Emma. You don't have to do all the worrying yourself, you know. I promise we'll pick up the slack while you get a couple hours of rest."

Emma crossed her arms defensively but David reached for her, smiling when she uncrossed her arms to take his hand.

"I'm really fine, dad." Emma said earnestly, squeezing his hand to add weight to her words. "I get you're worried, but you're both making a big deal out of nothing."

"Are you sure?" David asked, "After all, Emma this isn't exactly new since we've arrived in the Underworld, is it?"

Emma let out a groan. "Hold that thought." Spinning she grabbed Killian's arm and dragged him to the front door of the loft, her father standing dumbstruck where she'd left him at the table. The door slammed behind them and she turned on Killian.

"Really, Killian? You tattled to my dad?"

"I am sorry, love, but I was worried about you, and perceptiveness runs in your family, it seems."

"My _father_, Killian? I thought we'd already settled this?"

"Did we?" Killian smiled a tight smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Because I recall you kissing me until I couldn't see straight. Not that I object love, but that hardly settles the issue."

"I thought it settled things just fine," Emma teased, dropping her arms onto his shoulders with a flirtatious smile that never failed to make his eyes light up. But this time he just sighed, resigned to her dodging the subject once more.

"Swan, nothing short of a sleeping curse could keep me from kissing you when you look at me like that...That doesn't mean I've ceased worrying for you."

A wave of guilt washed over her. Her father was right, Killian _was_ worried about her, and rightfully so. Yet all she'd done, was roll her eyes and attempt to distract him enough to drop the subject. "I'm sorry," she whispered, "you were only trying to protect me, and I was being-"

"Stubborn?" He smirked, and raised that damn eyebrow of his. God, his "I love it when you admit I'm right" look drove her crazy in the worst of ways. She wanted to smack the smug grin off his face, or maybe just kiss him senseless again. But how could she be mad at him when he was right,

She'd let him have this one, and apparently, he'd won the war as well. "If I agree to take a nap-" she started, hating how weak and frightened her voice suddenly sounded.

"I'll be sure to wake you if anything goes wrong," he assured her.

He smiled, opened the door, and together, they walked back into the apartment. She could have sworn she saw him give her father a nod out of the corner of her eye before he led her upstairs.

She refused to get too comfortable, knowing that at any given moment, they could be under attack, and she'd have to hit the ground running. Killian seemed to agree she needed to be somewhat ready for a fight, but still insisted she at least take off her coat if she wouldn't ditch her boots.

Then, he draped a quilt over her, and tucked her in. Before he could leave though, she grabbed his hand. "Don't... go too far?"

"I'm not going anywhere," he said, "just getting comfortable." She let go of his hand, and watched as he shrugged out of his coat, tossing it haphazardly on a chair next to the bed.

Emma nodded, her eyelids drooping as she finally realized how exhausted she was. Her eyes shot open once, when she heard Killian wander off, but she relaxed when he returned moments later, a book in his hand.

"I'll be right here, love," he said, tucking her hair back behind her ear, "just rest..."

* * *

"_Killian_!"

Somehow she'd still expected to find him smirking, taunting Hades, laughing. She'd seem him go through so much and never lose that spark of defiance in his eyes... But now? She could smell his blood on the air, his skin was stained brown from innumerable wounds old and new. He looked... broken, bound and waiting. For what. For her? For Hades? She called his name again, desperate for him to know that he was no longer alone. That she'd come, was right here, (almost there…) He didn't even raise his head at the sound of her voice and it scared her to death.

The walkway to the platform would be a test of balance, and part of her wondered if she'd even make it across without tripping and falling into the river herself. He'd tell her not to risk it, tell her to go, to leave him to his fate… but she didn't listen to him when he was standing right in front of her. Hell if she was going to listen to his voice in her head.

Her first step had her almost tumbling off the edge already, and Killian lowered a notch, the entire platform shaking with the movement of the chains. Another step, another notch.

"Dammit," she muttered as she took a couple more steps, only for him to fall a little more each time. She paused, hovering for a moment in the middle of the walkway, uncertain. She took one hesitant step backwards but there was no undoing the damage, instead the chain began to give again, a slow and steady creep towards the water.

She cursed again, and with a final deep breath she sprinted across the walkway, hoping it wouldn't give under her as she ran. The walkway held steady. The chain did not. The quicker she ran, the faster he fell. He was already dangerously close to the water, and quickly falling below the platform. When she finally made it to solid ground, mere steps away, she lunged forward to reach him, just managing to grab his edge of his coat before he disappeared beyond her reach. She breathed a small sigh of relief when he stopped falling clenching her fingers tighter and reaching her other hand to grab a bit of the slackened chain. She had him...and all she had to do was pull him up.

"I've got you," she told him, "Killian, I've got you-" He looked up now, one eye swollen shut but the other alive with hope, with love… with trust.

That was when the chain finally gave, the last of it hurtling towards the river at breakneck speed. The extra weight gave a hard pull as it fell past them, jerking Killian out of her grasp, and taking him down into the waters below.

"No! Killian!" she screamed, reaching for him again, but catching nothing but air. There wasn't even a splash when he hit the river, only eerie silence met her echoing cries.

Her arms went slack, her vision blurring as she stared blankly at the place where he had been only a moment ago. Before she'd let go, before that last ounce of hope left him as he fell. A choked sob caught in her throat as she tried to force her muscles to sit up. She could practically hear his voice in her head still, telling her to get up, to run.

She didn't care.

Let Hades find her curled up in a ball, sobbing uncontrollably. What did it matter? Hades won. She'd failed. And this time what awaited Killian was so much worse than death.

"Emma!"

It was the panicked voice of her father that finally caused her to stop sobbing and look up. He was running towards her, seemingly unaware of the danger he was in on the rickety walkway above the river.

"Dad…" she whispered, voice still shaky, "how are you here?"

In an instant, he was at her side, as if the crossing wasn't difficult at all. Then, he was holding her tightly, and saying something she couldn't quite make out.

Then she saw Killian.

It was a trick. A cruel trick of Hades' because he hadn't broken her enough. Suddenly, she was crying again, knowing she shouldn't give in to the delusions. Yet, she couldn't help it. She pulled out of her father's embrace and ran to the man she'd just lost.

"Killian…"

_Was_ it a trick?

She didn't care. If this was the way she was going to go out, Hades would hear no complaint from her. She clung to him, desperate to hold him once more, even if it was no more than a broken fantasy.

"Emma…" Killian said softly as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. She barely had the strength to hold herself up as she cried, soaking his shirt through with hot tears that she didn't even try to stop. He kissed the top of her head, and murmured, "sweetheart, you have to wake up."

_What_?

"Emma!" The sudden urgency in his tone jolted her back into consciousness. It took her a moment to take in her surroundings, and realize that there was no river. No chains. No smell of blood and KIllian … Killian was still right in front of her, his hand brushing sweat dampened hair from her eyes with such gentleness that it had to be him. Hades couldn't possibly have made the illusion so perfect?

"Killian…"

She buried her face into his neck, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks as she tried to calm her breathing. He tried to pull away to see her face but she just clung tighter, only half-conscious of the pleas escaping her lips, begging him to stay, begging him not to leave her.

"It's all right, love," he murmured, "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." David sank into the chair that Killian had just vacated, his jaw tight and muscles tense. Killian knew the look in his eyes. Someone had hurt his little girl, and David wanted nothing more than to destroy whatever it was that had dared to harm her. But there was nothing to fight. Not here. So Killian just held her close, rubbing small comforting circles along her back until finally her heart slowed and her tears dried enough for her to notice that she had an audience to her fear. Emma moved to sit up, embarrassment at having made such a scene warming her already red cheeks.

"I'm sorry-" she started, releasing her grip on Killian's shirt but taking his hand so tightly that it would likely bruise.

"There's an old trick, that my mother used to use…" David said, standing to move to the nightstand. "lighting a candle to keep away the bad dreams." He rummaged around in the nightstand until he found matches and lit the candle that sat there. "They might be old wives tales… but sometimes all it takes to turn a tale into real magic is a little bit of belief."

Emma smiled half-heartedly, eyes fixed on the warm glow of the newly lit candle.

"Whatever it was," he told her, "we'll never let it happen, I swear."

"Thanks dad."

"How about some tea?" David asked, "Your mother always liked that when the dreams came."

Emma nodded gratefully and David stood, moving to press a kiss to the side of her head before he left.

"It felt so real," Emma whispered when the door closed behind him.

"It wasn't," Killian said gently.

"Every time I close my eyes. It's my mother, or Henry or you... It's the sword or the river or-" her voice broke and she reached for his neck brushing her fingers along one of his newest scars. "Killian I'm so tired. I'm so tired but I can't keep watching you die. I _can't_."

"I know, Emma," he whispered. Her tears had dried but they sprang fresh into her eyes again as Killian shifted, freeing his hand from her grip to cup her cheek, his forehead pressed to hers. "Do you want to tell me?"

She shook her head violently and he nodded, "' 'sall right. You don't have to. I sometimes … it's a little silly too but... can I tell you anyway?"

She nodded and he shifted, sitting next to her on the bed and pulling her back into his arms.

"When I wake the first thing I do is fix it…"

Emma looked up at him in disbelief.

"It doesn't have to be complicated just... When you became the dark one I dreamed of that moment for weeks. When I woke I would fix it. In my mind I kissed you and the damn thing just went away. It doesn't have to make sense, but I thought of all the ways I could have saved you, played them out in my head until one day I started to dream of saving you… not losing you."

"It was the river," Emma mumbled into his chest after a moment of silence. "I was too late to save you."

"Close your eyes, Emma." She did so and Killian pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Do you remember the river? Can you see it? Can you see me?"

Emma trembled in his arms but she nodded.

"And you called my name, do you remember that? I was so bloody tired and I wanted only to pass out so it wouldn't hurt anymore. But I heard your voice, and I knew I had to stay awake. I fell, and then I felt your arms around me. You dragged me away from that river, helped me to sit up. The smell of your hair, the touch of your skin, your voice when you said my name. Do you remember?"

"Do I have to remember the smell of blood?"

"No sweetheart," he chuckled, "you can skip that part. You can skip to the part where you put your arms around me and it didn't matter anymore that I was battered, and bruised in the middle of the underworld… because I was home."

Another tear slipped down her cheek but this one wasn't from fear. She heard the door open and she unburied her head from his chest. His arms stayed tight around her until she pulled away, and nodded to him that she was all right. He released his grip and moved to the edge of the bed as David handed Emma a steaming mug, settling on her other side carefully. She sipped at it slowly, the warmth settling in her stomach and relaxing the rest of her frazzled nerves. When she finished, she gave David the mug back with a small smile of thanks.

There was a part of her that really didn't want to try sleeping again. Despite her exhaustion, the candle, Killian's and her father's promises that it would be okay... she was still on edge.

"We won't be far, Emma," David reminded her.

"Aye," Killian agreed, "not far at all. There aren't so many places one can wander off to in this tiny apartment."

David stood and Emma smirked when he tucked her in. "Can I have a bedtime story too?" she teased.

At first, she thought her father was going to roll his eyes, and walk away laughing, but instead, he sighed, and sat back down in the chair. "I won't pretend to be an author by any means," he said, "but I guess I could figure out a bedtime story. Although… there's a good chance you've already heard them, thanks to the book." He stopped, and thought for a moment, before grinning, "my version of the time your mother shot me with an arrow is probably more entertaining, though."

"As much as I'd … love to hear your arrow story," she said, "it's a little awkward listening to tales of my parents' romance…especially after seeing it firsthand." She watched as Killian looked at David, and nodded in agreement, then, inspiration struck. "Killian hasn't heard the one that happened a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away yet…"

The confused look on her pirate's face was priceless, and the dumbfounded one on her father's was equally amusing.

"Go to sleep, Emma," David laughed, "while you're out, I'll tell killian all about Star Wars so he can regale you with questions when you wake up."

Emma reached out, and grabbed Killian's hand, "Stay?"

"As you wish," he replied, letting her pull him back down to the edge of the bed.

"I don't think dad will kill you if he's a chaperone, right?" Emma glanced over at David.

"Just this once, pirate," he grumbled with mock sternness as he settled into the chair next to the bed.

Emma moved over a bit and Killian stretched out next to her, dropping an arm over her as she determined that he was a better pillow than the one she had been using.

Though it didn't surprise her that David stayed put, it caught her off guard when he actually started telling the story. "Once upon a time…" He stopped and gave her a dirty look when she giggled. "What?"

"That's not how it starts, dad," she corrected him. "Have you even seen Star Wars?"

"You want to tell the story?" David retorted.

"Well… there was that big ship in the beginning, remember?"

"It's a nautical tale?" Killian commented, perking up.

"Kind of?" David said, "So we have the villains, the Empire who have developed a… super weapon base. The rebels are trying to destroy the base before the Empire can use it to blow up… everyone."

"I never have liked empires very much," Killian grumbled and he felt Emma chuckling to herself. She wasn't sure how far they got into the tale before she stopped really listening, simply letting herself rest, the sound of her father's voice and the heat of Killian's arms lulling her into a doze.

David continued the story long after Emma had finally fallen back to sleep, her head resting on Killian's chest, her breathing deep and even. His fingers brushed gently through her hair and she looked peaceful… content for the first time in… how long had it been?

Killian looked up at him and David realized he had stopped talking, probably mid sentence.

"I always thought she'd grow up listening to stories" he said quietly. "I was going to tell her so many stories."

"She has stories now," Killian replied, voice just over a whisper lest he wake her.

"I know," David nodded, " But… I know you look at her and you see… Emma Swan. But Killian she's my daughter. She grew up alone and from the moment we found her she's been … the _savior_. She's been attacked and hurt; she took on the darkest curse in the realms to save us. She's been ripped from those she loves and I… I was supposed to protect her."

"Mate, you're _here_," Killian reminded him.

"But I _wasn't_," he retorted, "and I can't help but think, that if maybe I was there when she needed me most…"

Killian sighed, "I know you wish you could make all the pain go away, mate. But she has a son, who she would endure all the pain of the worlds for. She's a family who loves her to the very underworld and back. She's strong, and she's _good_ and she'll be even better when she gets out of here... but that's for tomorrow. Tonight she just needed her father to light a candle."

David cracked the smallest of smiles. He was stubborn, like his daughter but Killian's words seemed to have gotten through to him.

"Thank you, Killian." The Prince stood, stretching stiff muscles and looking down at his daughter. Safe in the arms of a pirate. Certainly words that he had never expected to pass through his mind.

He came to the side of the bed and leaned to give Emma a light kiss.

"Do I get a goodnight kiss too, Dave?" Killian asked with a smirk.

"Don't push it," David retorted, but he clasped the man's shoulder before turning to leave.

"Dave?" Killian called just before the door closed, "Princess Leia, she picks the pirate right?"

David rolled his eyes and closed the door, and Killian could swear he heard him laughing outside.

* * *

When Emma woke again, Killian's arms were still heavy around her and they tightened slightly as she stretched.

"You're still here." she mumbled sleepily, and Killian hummed his reply into her shoulder.

"Didn't I tell you I wouldn't be far?"

"Where's Dave?" she asked, noting that the chair was now vacant.

"That's really not what a man likes to hear when he wakes with a beautiful woman in his arms," Killian replied sulkily, but his ill temper evaporated when she pulled him in for a gentle kiss.

"Swan?" he asked.

"Yes?"

"Do you like me because I'm a scoundrel? Because really… I think there's not enough scoundrel in your life."

Emma smiled, and closed her eyes again, content to enjoy the quiet morning with her scoundrel.

* * *

_**Leave a note (do you forgive us now...?)**_


	87. The Strongest Magic

_(Operation drown out the angst with fluff is a go! nothingimpossibleonlyimprobable) Spoilers if you haven't seen the new episode, speculation if you have._

_**The most powerful magic.**_

His true love.

He allows himself the smallest of smiles at that, the words warming him from the inside. His _true_ love is safe. His true love is going _home_.

Eternity is far too long to spend with the memory of her tears. He tries instead, to hold her smile in his mind as he runs his fingers along the pedestal with its ancient text.

_Only a heart filled with true love can pass. _

She had smiled when he read to her from its markings. A look of pride in her eyes that made a smile spring to his lips instantly. The savior. The product of true love, the one who brings back all the happy endings. And she smiled at him like he made _her _proud.

_Only a heart filled with true love…_

And her's had been weighed and measured. She loved him, _truly_. As he loved her.

And that's why he had to let her go.

If he'd gone with her she'd have stayed here, he'd no doubt of it now. She would have turned from her own future, and taken his hand and told him that they would leave this place together; that they would find another way. And he couldn't let that happen. He couldn't let her stay here, trapped between life and death with a man whose time was past.

She deserves _more_.

She deserves to see her boy grow up. To fret over him when he took his lass out on their date. She deserves to be held by her father, comforted by her mother. She deserves to _live_.

The rumbling of the earth stopped and despite the tightness in his throat and the hot tears on his cheeks, he smiled. Something drew him further into the cavern, to the room that had crushed his hopes, to the dead tree as good as a grave marker with his own name. The room he knew Emma wouldn't have left if-

His train of thought halted abruptly and he knelt at the stump of the long dead tree. A tiny sprig of green had pushed its way through the dead wood and on the branch was a single red berry, as vibrant as Emma's heart had been on the scale.

_Ambrosia._

Emma's test had been choosing to save him. His test had been choosing to let her go. To know that she was his true love, and to let her go anyway, for the chance of a future with her family…

He _passed_.

His fingers trembled as he reached toward the berry, plucking it and holding it gently between two fingers. The berry tasted bitter, hardly what one would expect of the food of the gods but in a moment he felt… tired. Hungry. Thirsty. And his heart pounded in his chest again.

At the first beat of his heart a door appeared on the other side of the cavern. He didn't hesitate for a single moment before striding through it, thinking only of Emma, of their house by the water and the future that perhaps … was not gone yet.

When his eyes cleared he found himself in familiar surroundings. The door was that of the home he had chosen for them, the foyer still decorated with the cold stylings of the Dark Swan. He closed the door gently behind him and made his way into the kitchen through the living room. Nothing. The rooms were empty. For a moment doubt crept into his mind. Could this be another cruel trick of Hades? To let him think he'd escaped only to find that which made life worth living was not here?

But then he heard a sound from upstairs. He took the stairs two at a time, not bothering to be quiet. He followed the sound to the end of the hall, to the bedroom he'd so long hoped they would share. He could hear her clearly now, quiet gasping sobs barely muffled from inside the room.

He pushed the door in quietly, not wanting to startle her, but she just buried her head further into what he could now see was his black leather jacket.

"Please, Dad," she whispered, so quietly he could barely discern the words. "I just need… please I just want to be alone right now ok-."

"Pity," he replied, "I hoped you might wish for some non paternal company."

She froze, her words cutting off as she slowly pulled her face from his jacket and looked up in shock.

"Did you miss me?" he asked gently, not waiting for an answer before he was kneeling at the side of the bed, his fingers brushing away the tears from her reddened cheeks.

She dropped the jacket entirely and launched herself into his arms, knocking him off balance and sending them both into a crumpled pile on the floor, her arms tight around his neck and her face buried in his shoulder.

"How?" she whispered finally.

"I passed the test too," he replied. "True love, sweetheart, the most powerful magic in all the realms." She was still crying, he could feel the heat of her tears dripping onto his neck and her shoulders shook with every breath. He just pulled her in tighter, letting his own tears join hers.

She'd need to tell the others, eventually. But in this moment she couldn't stand but to be anything but absolutely selfish, for once. To keep him all to herself until she was certain that he would not vanish if she let him go. The others could wait.

In this moment her true love was in her arms and all the powers of hell couldn't have dragged them apart.


	88. Here to Stay

_**Cowritten with xhookswenchx**_

_**Emma returns from the Underworld after losing her true love. Broken, she makes her way back to the home that was supposed to be theirs, and finds she has an unexpected visitor. Fluff with angst. Angst with fluff? Whatever you'll end it smiling this time, we promise**_

_**Here to Stay**_

They _finally _left her alone. Well, not completely. Henry had refused to leave her side since their return, and once her parents had released their hold on her, he followed her back to the house. It was supposed to be their home. Now it never would be… not quite. But he had chosen this place, the least she could do was use it.

The thought just about overwhelmed her, and just as she felt she might curl into herself, and turn into a sobbing mess right here on the steps of the front porch, a tiny sound caught her attention.

"Hey mom," Henry said softly, "it looks like we have a visitor."

The tiny intruder was probably white once, and made no move to leave its spot on the porch as they moved closer. Unfortunately, it was in the middle of the walkway, and needed to be moved. "Shoo!" Emma hissed, but the little kitten just looked up at her, and blinked. She took a step back, and tried not to think about how blue its eyes were.

"Mom," Henry said, "it's so little. That means it's just a baby. We can't just leave it to the elements." She took one look at her son, who now resembled more of a wide-eyed little boy begging for a new pet than the sometimes emo teenager he could be on occasion.

"We'll take it to the shelter tomorrow morning," she said, more to herself than him.

His face fell, "Why not today?" he challenged, "I mean, we're not keeping it, so, why don't we just-"

"Busy," she said. It wasn't true, but in all honesty, she just didn't want to face anyone, and it was getting late anyway. Besides, she wanted to make sure he'd be well taken care of, and leaving him at the night drop would be too risky. She'd never know his fate. Wait…when had he become a he instead of an it? Carefully, she picked up the kitten, it stiffened warily, but relaxed after seeing that she wasn't going to hurt it.

"He's not here to stay, Henry," she reminded her son when his smile grew a little brighter. "Let's just get him cleaned up and fed," she said wearily. Perhaps that would be distracting enough to keep her out of her head for a while.

Henry busied himself in the kitchen, trying to find something suitable for kitten cuisine. When Emma started the water, she tried her best to mentally prepare herself for a blood bath. Still, the cat needed a good washing. He was a mess, all mud caked paws and twigs in his fur. After a quick check to make sure the water wasn't too hot or cold, she gently lowered the kitten into the tub, murmuring softly to it, in an attempt to keep it calm. Surprisingly, the kitten didn't need any encouragement at all. She laughed as he jumped around excitedly, playing in the water. He favored one leg though and Emma bent closer as she tried to brush the mud from the fidgety creature.

Picking it up out of the water again, an action which made the tiny kitten look a bit more like a rat than anything else, she inspected its paw, quickly finding a thorn wedged in its pad.

"Poor thing," she murmured, "oh, you're not going to like this part one bit."

She was right, it screamed bloody murder when she pulled out the thorn and Henry tore into the bathroom.

"What happened!" He asked in surprise.

"He had a thorn," Emma said defensively, "he's just a little melodra-" The kitten looked up at her with wide accusing eyes and Emma chuckled a little. "All right fine, hold on." She passed her fingers over the kitten's paw and the wound vanished. The kitten wriggled out of her grip to go back to splashing about in the sink.

"The cat likes water?" Henry asked, "okay, that's weird."

"Maybe," Emma said, "but it makes bathtime easier on me. Did you find anything for him to eat?"

"I did some looking," Henry said, "because he's little, and I don't want to give him something he shouldn't have. So… I called grandpa, because he used to work at the shelter, and he said he'd bring some stuff by."

"Kid," she sighed, "we're not keeping the cat."

"Just stuff for the night," Henry promised.

'Stuff for the night,' as it turned out, was very nearly a crazy cat lady starter kit, (Minus the fifty other cats, at least.) David brought over just about everything a person would need to care for a cat for the long term. Still, she decided telling him that the little guy was going to the shelter in the morning was probably not the best way to say thank you. Not when he tiptoed around her like she was about to break and- Tears welled in her eyes again and she cut off the train of thought abruptly and turned back to the pile of supplies her father had brought.

She, Henry, and their (temporary) house guest made the best of their (completely not permanent) arrangement. The kitten was quick to scarf down its food, and even quicker to beg for more. Emma felt a lump forming in her throat when she started wondering how long it had been since he'd had a decent meal.

Before long, she and Henry were watching the kitten dart around the house, and play with the toys David had brought over. "He gets around quick," Henry commented, laughing at its antics "doesn't he?"

All that was left of the thorn in his paw was a slight limp, barely noticeable, really. She made a mental note to make sure the shelter would actually try to adopt the cat out. It was just a little bum leg. That wouldn't disqualify it from finding a good home, right?

Eventually, the kitten wore itself out, and after watching it let out a big yawn, Emma picked it up, and grabbed a little bed David had thrown in the bag of goodies he'd dropped off. Bidding goodnight to Henry, she made her way upstairs, to the room that was supposed to be _theirs._

After setting the kitten up in its bed, she sighed. The room was entirely too quiet. Not that she'd ever spent a night in here with company, but tonight? Tonight seemed…

She dressed slowly, as if stalling would bring him back before she had to face the bed alone. When she had no other choice but to lie down, or collapse on the floor, she finally gave in. She could hear Henry shuffling around downstairs, but eventually, the noise died down, and there was nothing but silence once again.

With nothing left to distract her, Emma cracked. She grabbed a rogue pillow and pulled it close, burying her head into it to muffle her sobs before they could bother Henry. Her tears ran hot, salty streaks down her cheeks, soaking into the pillow instantly. She was so distracted by the pounding in her head, that she hadn't heard her little houseguest stirring. It wasn't until there was a cold nose at the back of her neck, that she realized the little punk had shimmied up the blankets and made himself quite at home at the back of her neck.

The first thing that ran through her mind was that she needed to put him back in his own bed. Teach him who was boss… But that didn't matter. He wasn't staying anyway. A tiny little "mew" had her in hysterics again, as she thought about how confused their new little friend would be when she dropped him off at the shelter in the morning. "I'm sorry," she whispered to him, feeling just a little silly for talking to a cat. "I can't keep you… I can't even take care of myself right-" Her explanation died on her lips when she felt the cold little nose touch her again.

"Mrow?"

"Shh," she let out a small laugh, "it's past your bedtime. Go to sleep." The next thing she felt, was a little furball nuzzling up against her. "You aren't going to make this easy, are you?" she whispered. He didn't respond, but to start purring contentedly behind her.

_Great, she thought, I've been back less than a day and I'm already turning into a crazy cat lady._

_I hope you're happy now, Killian._

Her tears began to fall again and she didn't bother to wipe them away.

_I hope you're happy now, Killian._

She didn't have to be strong here. Not for Henry or her parents and certainly not for the stupid cat, purring away contentedly behind her like he hadn't a care in the world.

_I hope you're happy now. _

It wasn't until sunlight started peeking through the curtains, that Emma even realized she'd fallen asleep. Completely exhausted by her tears, she'd had the small mercy of a night without dreams, but if the state of her bed was any indication, sleep had been fitful anyway. Her little cat friend was sitting across the bed, staring at her and looking less than pleased about his disturbed sleep.

"Sorry, buddy," she said, reaching out to scratch his head. He seemed to take the gesture as a peace offering, for the time being.

A ring of the doorbell had her shuffling out of bed, but the sound of Henry talking to someone stopped her. She didn't really want to face anyone yet, and from the sound of it, her son had it handled. When she heard the door close, she threw on a robe, picked up the cat, and headed downstairs.

"I told Granny to remind them not to ring the doorbell," Henry said sheepishly, when he saw her, "I didn't want them waking you up." He raised an eyebrow when he saw the kitten in her arms. "So, he's going back today?" The smirk on his face was telling. He knew, and he knew that she knew he knew.

"Well…" she started, "I mean, your grandpa brought all that stuff by, and it would be a pity to let it all go to waste. I mean, I thought maybe we could try and find him a good home on our own…"

"For someone with a super power." Henry chuckled, "You're a terrible liar." When she didn't respond, he rolled his eyes, "anyway; Granny called earlier, asking if we were hungry. Figured we didn't want to cook, so she sent some food over."

"Okay," she nodded, taking a seat when Henry insisted he take care of everything. She was grateful. The idea of putting effort into making a meal felt entirely beyond her capabilities today when all she truly wanted to do was curl back up in a ball and- The kitten settled in her lap, and went back to purring.

When Henry set the plate of food in front of her, she was surprised at how hungry she actually felt. "Thanks, kid."

"I didn't do any of the hard work," he shrugged.

"Doesn't matter," she smiled, "thank you." They started to eat, and after a few minutes, Henry eyed her plate suspiciously. "What?" She asked.

"Watch," he nodded.

Emma glanced at her plate, and saw a tiny paw reach up and start feeling around. Upon finding its prize, a little claw speared the piece of egg, and quickly retreated. "You little thief!" she accused the devious kitten, who really didn't seem to mind. He also didn't seem to fear Emma's wrath, as he stuck his little paw back up on the table, and felt around for another piece of food.

Before he could pilfer another piece of egg, Emma shoved the plate back. Her cat, (because he was definitely her cat now. No matter how much she denied it.) looked up at her, with what could only be described as a defiant glare. It was only then she realized he was probably only stealing food because he was hungry. "I guess maybe I should have fed you first…" she mused. She stood up, lifting him, and depositing him on the chair before she went to go get his food.

"Mom!" Henry laughed, "He saw an opportunity, and he took it!"

She looked over, and there was her cat, on her table, making a meal out of _her_breakfast. He even ate the bacon. "Thanks for leaving some for me, you little punk," she mock scolded as she retrieved him from the table.

"He's staying, isn't he?" Henry asked again, "because you like him, don't you?"

"I do not," she insisted. Because she didn't like him. No, Emma had fallen completely head over heels for her little scoundrel of a cat. Henry just laughed, and shook his head. Once again, she already knew he knew. "He needs a name, I guess…" she mused, "you know…_if_ he's staying."

Henry smiled, "shouldn't be too hard."

Her son was right, it wasn't hard at all. There was only one name suitable for her newfound friend, "Pirate," she decided, "because that's exactly what he is."

* * *

She thought the hardest thing she'd have to do was let go of Killian's hand. Nothing truly prepared her for actually_ living _without him. To eat breakfast with Henry, to feed the stupid cat before he stole her eggs, go to work, do paperwork, eat lunch… normal things. Easy things. Suddenly every moment was an effort. Every second was a force of will power, a test of endurance, to just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Most days she did.

David let her return to work at the sheriff's station right away and never in her life had she put so much focus into the tedium of paperwork. Sometimes her father looked up at her like he was going to tell her that she was working too hard. To go home and rest. But he always caught himself, and gave her a hug instead.

She hugged him back with everything that she had. She had promised. No more armor.

She knew they were planning a funeral but they didn't ask her about it and she didn't ask them. She knew if she thought about a- if she thought about that she would crack again. So she let them make the preparations. She focused only on the moment. On getting through the day with as much dignity as she could manage, on kissing Henry's forehead goodnight at the end of each day, crawling up to a too large bed, curling into a ball and burying her face into a pillow before she made too much noise.

It was never long before she felt a tiny fluffy motor take up his spot just behind her neck, nuzzling her gently before settling in with a purr that far outmatched his ridiculously small size.

"Goodnight pirate," she mumbled.

* * *

The funeral was… honestly she couldn't remember much of anything. It rained. Her shoes kept sinking into the mud and it felt like at any moment he would show up and wrap his arms around her. Ask her if she was alright and take her to Granny's for hot chocolate. Her umbrella kept slipping and dripping water down the back of her neck so David came and held it for her, one arm tight around her shoulders. She tried not to be angry at David for not being him.

It wasn't rational.

She didn't care.

She had a moment of panic halfway through the service when she realized that she hadn't prepared anything to say. Her head started buzzing and her palms broke out in a cold sweat. She was never the one with the pretty words and everything that she could think of to say was either not enough or too private for so many.

Relief surged through her when her father handed her back her umbrella to step forward. She should have listened, she realized afterwards. It was probably nice. David was good at this kind of thing. But instead she just stared at the ground, watching the puddles form, her mind in another world watching him vanish at the bottom of an elevator shaft. She pinched her forearm hard, the physical pain a point of focus, keeping her upright when all she wanted to do was collapse next to his… Next to the coffin and beg him to come home.

The funeral ended and the townspeople scattered and went back to their lives to their homes. She went back to the house too and this time she didn't make it up to the bedroom. She'd barely closed the door behind them when there was a crash of Henry throwing the umbrella down in the foyer. He grumbled an apology under his breath and turned away, heading for his room when Emma grabbed his shoulder and turned him back towards her. His eyes were bright red with tears he'd not let fall during the service.

Trying to be strong, for her, she realized and she pulled him into a tight hug. They sank to the floor, heedless of the wet puddle they were leaving in the foyer. Henry's shoulders shook and Emma realized in shock that she had not seen Henry cry for Killian since… since they got back.

"I'm so sorry, Henry," she whispered. "You've been so strong for me, kid. You shouldn't have had to be."

She tightened her arms around him and he shook his head.

"Yes I did," he protested, just as stubborn as she. "You deserve someone being strong for you. You always have to be so strong for us and you deserve… you don't deserve this…" he trailed off.

He didn't deserve this either.

* * *

When she walked downstairs a few days later, something felt different. For the first time since the funeral, Emma didn't want to break down into tears when she looked at the empty seat at the breakfast table. The overwhelming sense of longing still hit her, but instead of wanting to crawl back into bed, she found she just wanted to get to work. The passion of her tear streaked cheeks was slowly replaced with a cold dispassionate fog that seemed to separate her from everything around her. She shook her head, as if she could physically shake herself back into normality and hugged Henry extra tight.

_No armor, she promised. _

Pirate jumped up on the chair, and looked at her expectantly. She pulled away from her thoughts, and smiled half-heartedly at the cat. Not so long ago, she would have moved him off the chair. (How that chair in particular became Killian's, when he'd never actually sat in it, she wasn't sure…but somehow, it was his, and it stayed empty.) Today…it didn't feel so wrong for it to have an occupant.

Henry didn't say anything about the cat, who was breaking an unspoken rule, but Emma could tell he was trying to read her thoughts about the situation. When she scratched Pirate's head, and added a bit of egg to his dish, Henry seemed to relax. He even laughed when Emma scolded the cat for looking at the table. "You're not human," she stated, "and I am _not_ putting your dish on the table."

It started getting easier after that. Empty chairs weren't quite so empty, her family didn't feel quite so suffocating, and the overwhelming sadness that used to haunt her every moment, started to subside. There still wasn't a day that went by, that she didn't think of him, but somewhere along the way, things changed. Thinking of him started warming her heart instead of making it feel like it would shatter.

Not that that meant the tears stopped. There was still an ache. She missed him terribly, and it would be a long time before she could ever truly be okay. But a future without him didn't seem quite so impossible anymore. She started to feel like maybe she could be a survivor, for him.

* * *

She'd always thought it was a little strange, leaving flowers for Killian, but some people still did. Mostly people brought other things though. She collected them and put them in a box, and hid it out of sight. They were his now, but most of the time she couldn't bear to look at them.

A shot glass from the rabbit hole, probably stolen, an old copy of Moby Dick, a few gold coins with a note that said _we're square now, mate._ She was incensed beyond all reason when she found a half empty cup of melting frozen yogurt once, thinking it to be trash, but her temper cooled when she saw Smee meandering away in the distance, his red hat clutched in one hand. She took it home and cleaned out the cup before adding that one to the box. Small trinkets showed up day by day, from a dispersed crew perhaps, paying tribute to their fallen captain. A magical compass was in that box somewhere, her own part of a gift he'd never open.

Today the grave was tidy and clean with just a few fresh flowers here and there. Grass was starting to grow. How long before this spot looked the same as any other in this place? How long before she was the only one whose heart clenched when she saw the words on that damn stone?

She only ever brought a flask.

There was a spot of brown where the grass was refusing to grow in and she splashed a little of her rum there, as she did every time she came. She wasn't sure exactly why she'd started doing it, but when she saw that it kept the grass from growing in she decided to keep doing it. Her own tiny protest to the normality of the fresh green growth over his prison. The rest of the rum was for her.

She'd found his stash aboard the Jolly and she kept his flask filled now. She wouldn't touch rum anymore except for his particular blend and even that she would only drink here. She wasn't entirely certain if it made her feel better or worse, but it seemed fitting, even if the taste always seemed to bring tears to her eyes again.

She used to talk to him sometimes. She remembered how some of the dead seemed to know what happened to the living up here. But there were only so many times she could say that she missed him, that she was trying to keep her promise and he better damn well have kept his. So she just sat on the damp earth and took another swallow of his chosen poison.

No one ever bothered her here. Outside of this place she was the sheriff, the_savior._ But here… everyone knew never to interrupt her here. She didn't have much longer to stay here and wallow though. Henry had started spending some days at Regina's again, but he hadn't ever left her alone at night. Not since…

She took another swallow and stood, capping the flask tightly as she got to her feet. The sound of the metal cap screwing into place almost covered the sound that made her heart jolt in her chest.

"Emma?" The name was whispered and broken and hardly loud enough to be heard over the wind, but the flask fell from her fingers anyway, landing with a dull thud in the grass.

She blinked and Killian was there. It didn't make sense but she didn't care; she threw herself forward into his arms without a word. He sighed when his arms closed around her, the sound gentle and so familiar as he buried his head into her neck, his fingers tangling in her hair and locking her tight to him.

There was so much to say. _How_… being the first, but not a single word could squeeze past the lump in her throat. He didn't speak either, just breathing her in for a long moment, his arms wrapped so tightly around her that it almost hurt but she would surely have fallen if he loosened his grip. Her hand pressed between them, palm flat on his chest and her heart sank when she could not feel his.

"No" she murmured. "No, Killian, please don't be saying goodbye again," she pleaded, "I can't say goodbye again."

"Don't say goodbye, Emma," he whispered, "just kiss me." His voice broke on the plea and she grabbed his jacket desperately, dragging him forward. He pulled away at the last moment, his hand on her shoulder to steady her.

"Don't kiss me_ goodbye_, Emma," he insisted, "just _kiss_ me."

She nodded and he brushed the tears from her cheeks. Closing her eyes for a moment she pressed her forehead to his, letting him catch the last tears as she did her best to prevent any more from falling. She loosened her desperate grip on his jacket and rested her arms on his shoulders, fighting every instinct that she had that told her to cling as long and as tight as she possibly could.

She curled her fingers into his hair, shoving all of her fear and desperation and pain into the back of her mind; focusing only on the texture of his hair in her fingers, the pressure of his forehead leaning into hers, the feeling of his hand cupping her cheek, brushing lightly at any stray tears that escaped her control. His breath caught when she leaned forward again, pressing her lips to his gently, deepening the kiss as his arm came around to press her closer.

She almost didn't hear it when it happened. So lost in the pleasure of feeling his lips on hers again, finally, _finally,_ that she almost missed-

_Thump thump_

Laughter bubbled up in her throat and she could feel his lips curling into a smile as she pulled away.

"I've always thought your kiss was heart-stopping, Emma, but it appears-"

He didn't get to finish his sentence before she was kissing him again, one hand pressed firmly to his chest, reveling in each precious beat of his heart. When she finally pulled away again she was able to look at him properly.

Despite the smile on his face, he looked exhausted, smudged eyeliner making the circles under his eyes look even darker. His clothes were tattered and torn, and she was pretty sure he was wearing the clothes they had buried him in.

"Emma, can we go home?" he asked wearily. "I know I need to face everyone but for now… can we just go home?"

She nodded, taking his hand and letting her magic fill her, picturing the front steps of the home he had chosen. When they reached the door he tugged on her hand gently. She glanced down to see that she was squeezing his hand hard enough to cut off circulation to his fingers.

They had barely made it into the house when Emma barreled into him again, tucking herself into him and sighing in relief when his arms came around her.

"What took you so damn long?" she finally grumbled and he chuckled in response.

"I'm sorry I made you wait, Emma."

There was a crash from upstairs and Emma jumped.

"PIRATE!" she yelled in exasperation.

Killian opened his mouth as if to proclaim his innocence, and she felt heat flood her cheeks in an instant.

"No, not…" She stammered, "ok so you see, it was… I just… he stole my eggs and he was so comfy to sleep with and I missed you _so_ much-"

Killian's jaw dropped, "Swan… how long _have_ I been gone?"

At that moment Pirate chose to make his appearance, tearing down the stairs with, what looked to be, half a roll of toilet paper trailing behind him.

Killian glanced at the kitten and then back at Emma.

"You… you named a cat after me?" He sounded indignant but a small half-smile curled his lips.

"I mean not _exactly_ after you," she stammered. He just, he likes the water and-" her cheeks were still burning, she could feel it and he just kept that damned eyebrow raised as she stumbled her way through trying to tell him that she had replaced him with a cat without telling him that she had replaced him with a cat.

Pirate came back around the corner, the trail of toilet paper still firmly wrapped around his torso and trailing behind him like some kind of absurd flag. Without any hesitation he walked up to Killian, examining the new addition to his house. Taking a few tentative steps forward, he hopped up on top of Killian's boot, seating himself on it and staring up at Killian curiously.

"He likes to … sit on things…" Emma admitted with a smile.

"Pirate, eh?" To Emma's relief the smile was spreading wider on Killian's face now and he bent to scoop up the cat, breaking up the tangled wrap of toilet paper he'd managed to acquire from the upstairs bathroom with his hook.

Emma's cell phone buzzed and she glanced up and then her eyes widened. "Henry. He's almost here, how are we going to tell him?"

"You don't think he'll be disappointed?" Killian teased but there was that self-deprecating smile on his lips and Emma hurried to shake her head.

"No, Killian! Don't even joke… I just don't want him to freak out…Just um… just stay here a second, ok?"

She slipped out the door and shut it behind her, leaving Killian in the foyer with a fidgety cat in one hand. "All right, you little devil," Killian muttered, putting the cat down when Pirate decided to try his claws on Killian's forearm. "You and I are going to have to set some ground rules."

"Hey, Kid, c'mere a sec-" He heard Emma say from outside and he moved closer to the door to hear.

"What's wrong?" he heard Henry reply instantly, "are you ok?"

"I'm great kid, I just… I need you to know before you go inside that this is real, ok. No strings, no deals… this is… real."

Killian could only imagine the look on Henry's face and he leaned closer to the door when he didn't catch the boy's response. Unfortunately, Emma chose that exact moment to open the door, hitting him in the forehead and making him see stars. No sooner had he recovered from the blow he was knocked back again, this time by a teenager launching himself into him at full speed. Killian stepped back and Pirate yowled in annoyance at what had probably been a boot too close to his tail.

"Bloody hell," Killian exclaimed, trying to keep from stepping on the creature behind him without losing his balance or releasing his grip on Henry, whose face was still buried in Killian's jacket. He finally regained his balance and tightened his arms around Henry, glancing up at Emma in surprise. Her eyes were too bright but this time there was a smile on her lips.

He was at a loss for words, and when Henry started sobbing, Killian almost lost it completely too. He wasn't sure how long they stood there, but he was hesitant to move, as if the slightest movement would cause him to lose everything all over again.

The moment was eventually interrupted by a curious cat. Killian winced when he felt little claws scratching at him as the tiny demon used him as a ladder. Muffled sobs turned into tearful giggles when Pirate, now perched on Killian's shoulder, started nudging Henry's head with his paw. _Ground rules,_ Killian reminded himself, _would definitely include personal space._ Henry pulled back, and wiped the tears from his eyes.

"How?" Henry finally asked.

"Don't altogether understand it myself," Killian admitted. "When I came up out of that elevator I found the pages you left behind. Figured I might as well finish what you started. You did good work on those pages, lad. Cruella was most enraged by all of the people you freed from her clutches."

Henry gave him a watery smile.

"Eventually the pages were gone and I couldn't put it off anymore. I crossed the bridge. But … Someone must have known that my happy ending wasn't in some paradisiacal realm just yet. Next thing I knew I was standing in front of your mother. One hell of a kiss later and… well it seems I've a second chance."

Henry nodded but he still looked like something was bothering him, refusing to look up as Killian told his story.

"What's wrong, kid?" Emma asked.

"You didn't even say goodbye," his voice was quiet and tight and for a moment neither Killian or Emma knew what to say. Henry finally looked up at Killian. "You could have at least said goodbye. First my dad and then you, no one ever even bothers to-"

Killian stepped forward on impulse and hugged Henry again. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "Henry, it's not that I didn't bother. I wasn't sure I _could._ Letting your mother go … It was the hardest thing I've ever done. If you were there too, your family- Lad, I'm not as strong as you think I am."

Henry said something, but his voice sounded so small, that Killian couldn't quite hear the words.

"I'm sorry, I missed that, lad?"

Henry pulled back, "I… I asked if…" he fidgeted a little bit, and looked almost hesitant to ask. "Is this permanent?"

He didn't have any good answer for that. Yes, he was here, thanks to Emma his heart was thumping steadily in his chest and he didn't feel as if whatever brought him back was a temporary thing…but he just didn't know all the details.

"Nothing was really explained to me," he admitted, "but, I doubt the powers that be would go through so much trouble for a temporary detour."

This seemed to reassure Henry a bit and he nodded, ducking his head to pull out his phone.

"Whoa, kid hold up, what are you doing?" Emma asked, though she was pretty sure she already knew…

"We have to tell everyone he's back!" Henry said, confused.

She glanced over at Killian who looked more exhausted than she'd ever seen him and she shook her head. "First thing in the morning, kid," she suggested, "I really think Killian needs to get some sleep before facing everyone. Not to mention a shower."

Killian raised his eyebrows at her, "trying to tell me something, love?"

"Killian, I love you. But you literally died in that outfit," she wrinkled her nose a little for emphasis, "come on, let's go, I'll show you how to use the shower here." She glared at him before she even finished the sentence, and Killian thought better of the words obviously on the tip of his tongue.

She gave him a gentle shove and followed him up the stairs. He made his way to the master bedroom without her guidance, after all, he did pick out the place. He looked around the room curiously, eyes flicking to each piece of evidence of her time here without him. The unkempt bed, jackets thrown over a chair, paperwork brought from work to fill sleepless nights.

She took his hand as she shut the door behind them and he tugged her close again.

"You need to shower Killian. You can't do that if you don't let go of me."

"You'd be surprised love. I'm quite-"

"_Don't_ finish that sentence," she said shoving him playfully. "I'm serious, Killian. You look exhausted." His hand released hers to cup her cheek, brushing a strand of hair away from her eyes.

"You look as though your sleep has not been easy, either."

"Well," she said, her eyes lighting up a bit when she smiled. "That can change now, right?"

She heard the doorbell ring downstairs and sighed, moving into the bathroom and turning on the shower for him and checking the temperature. "It's kind of funky," she explained, "when you turn it off you have to jiggle the knob a bit or it'll just go cold on you. I've been meaning to have it fixed but-"

She doesn't make any move to pull away and they stay like that for a moment before Emma drops her forehead forward to meet his, chuckling a little in exasperation. "I don't want to let you go," she murmured, "I know it's just the next room but-"

"I understand," he admitted, and it was a testament to the gravity of his words that he didn't try to make a joke about her joining him.

"We can do this," Emma said sternly. "Just be quick about it okay?"

"To new memories," Killian agreed. He raised her fingers to his lips and kissed them gently, "I've been wanting to do that _properly,_" he said, eyes twinkling. She forced herself to take a step back out of the bathroom, closing the door behind her but letting it stay cracked.

With Killian safe in the shower, Emma made her way back downstairs. To her surprise, David was in the foyer, talking to Henry. "Dad?" She glanced at Henry, who seemed just as surprised as she felt.

"I came to check on Pirate," David said, "make sure he was still doing okay. Does he need anything?" She shook her head, but before she could give him an actual answer, he gave up the pretense and pulled her into a hug. "I know things have been hard…especially since the funeral. Do _you_ need anything?"

Okay, so Henry didn't tell him yet.

"Dad…"

"Wait," he let go of her, and looked towards the stairs, "did you forget to turn the water off?"

"Look," she said, realizing that she _had_ to tell him now. "Something happened today-"

David glanced towards the stairs again and sudden understanding dawned in his eyes, followed by a look of confusion and worry.

"I … Oh… I guess… I shouldn't have come over unannounced."

Emma's eyes widened when she realized the errant conclusion her father had just come to.

"Oh Dad, no, I-"

"Emma, I know this has been hard but," he looked at the ground, finding this a difficult subject to breach with his daughter.

"Dad, please just stop-" she said, rolling her eyes.

"Emma, I'm just worried about you. You lost your true love. And God, I know that hurts but you can't just repl-"

"DAD!" But before she had the chance to yell at him there was a loud crash from upstairs.

"Bloody hell!" The curse rang out, plain as day, and Emma's heart raced, panic taking hold in an instant.

"Emma?" David ran after her as she tore up the stairs, and Henry followed close behind. But she couldn't even process that she wasn't alone. All she could think about was getting to Killian before it was too late.

She couldn't lose him again. Not after all they'd been through. Not after he'd finally returned to her. _Not this time._

Decency be damned, she threw the bathroom door open, and the scene was both a relief, and fairly comical. Killian was drenched, shivering, wearing only a towel, and trying to remove a panicking cat that was firmly attached to the top of his head. (Oh…_that's_ where Pirate went.) The shower was still running, and when Emma went to turn it off, she found it was like ice.

"What the hell?" she asked, as she pried Pirate from her pirate.

"Your damn cat attacked me!" he accused, "then he knocked the stupid knob, making the water freeze, and then he had a fit!"

"Okay," she said, handing off the cat to her father, who looked a bizarre combination of relieved, confused and traumatized by this turn of events. Quickly, she helped Killian fix his towel, then shut the water off.

"Dad…umm… so Killian came back." What else was she supposed to say? The evidence was right there in front of him. (She could hear Henry laughing, even though he'd left the bathroom, choosing to wait everything out in the hall.)

"Um…" David set Pirate down, and looked at Killian,apparently unsure if he should hug the man, or run, and pretend he didn't see anything. "I would ask you to explain, but this is humiliating enough as it is. Hook, I'm glad to see you're okay, now put some damn clothes on." He left the room, and Emma heard him go back downstairs.

"Okay, pirate," Emma smiled, "get decent so we can say goodnight to my dad."

"Are you talking to me, or the cat?" he asked with a smirk.

"Just hurry up," she laughed, "my dad missed you too, you know." Her heart almost broke when she saw the look of disbelief on his face. Was it really that hard for him to believe that people cared about him?

"Your clothes are in the left side drawers, I'm gonna go make sure dad doesn't think he's gone crazy."

"You moved my clothes into the drawer?"

Emma flushed. "Shut up," she retorted, "I missed you, so I moved your clothes here, okay?" He looked like he was going to reach for her hand again but she laughed. "Killian, you're wearing a towel-"

"You can fix that."

"Which means," she continued with a grin, "that however happy my father may be to have you back, he will probably come kill you again if I don't go back down stairs." She turned to go but he caught her hand.

"Emma?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for saving me from the shower."

She was pretty sure he wasn't talking about the shower.

* * *

She didn't realize how much it had bothered her, seeing Killian walking around in the clothes they had buried him in, until he came down the stairs wearing one of his old shirts again and her heart was flooded with relief. His hair was still damp and longer than she was used to, and he had buttoned his shirt up a little higher than normal (perhaps in deference to her father who had already seen a bit more of him than he was quite comfortable with today.)

He came up to David, a little awkwardly, probably trying to decide between apologizing for earlier or tormenting him about it, but before he could choose, David clasped his shoulder. He tried to leave it at that but apparently he couldn't, and the look on Killian's face when her father hugged him was priceless.

David chuckled a bit as he stepped back. "The hero thing, it suits you. But you can stop now. We get it."

"Dad, can you keep this between us," Emma asked as she walked David to the door.

"You want to keep it a secret that he's back? Emma-"

"It's been a really long time since either of actually slept well," she admitted. "One night, before we have to deal with the rest of the town?"

"Oh…" David looked between them and then his eyes widened "OH." He looked conflicted for a moment but finally steadied himself. "Do you mean… I mean I could…God I really don't want to know…" he grumbled. He glanced over at Henry at the kitchen table before taking a breath and steeling himself. The next sentence came out so fast it took her a moment to interpret the words. "Would you like me to take Henry back to the loft for the evening."

Killian was clearly trying to choke back a laugh at David's pained expression and Emma rolled her eyes.

"Don't give yourself an aneurysm dad. Sleep means sleep."

Killian opened his mouth to say something but David put a hand up, "Don't. Just… whatever you're thinking, just… don't," and he was out the door before Killian could say a word.

She let out a sigh of relief as the door shut behind him and leaned back against the door for a moment before they joined Henry at the kitchen table. It was quiet and comfortable and so very normal… for all of fifteen minutes until the doorbell rang again.

Emma half considered ignoring it but then the chime rang once, twice, three times more. She grumbled something under her breath and opened the door. Her mother was on the other side, hands clasped nervously in front of her.

"I um… I wanted to see the kitten?" she offered half-heartedly.

"Dad told you, didn't he?" Emma asked.

Snow shrugged, "We share a heart Emma, secrets really don't really-" her words trailed off as Emma opened the door for her.

"Killian-" Snow breathed. She hurried up to him and hugged him tight, eliciting a slightly panicked look from Killian over her shoulder. After a moment he relaxed though, wrapping one arm around her until she pulled away. "I'm so glad you're back, Killian," she finished.

Killian scratched the back of his ear nervously, "I am glad to have returned, milady," he responded.

"You're alright? Do you need anything? Can I get you guys some food from Granny's or …"

"You're very kind," Killian responded.

"Honestly, mom," Emma cut in, "We're all kind of exhausted. I think we'd just like to maybe … get some sleep. We'll tell everyone tomorrow but we're just a little too shot to deal with much right now."

"I understand," Snow insisted, "of course you are. Let's meet for breakfast at Granny's in the morning and we can plan the party."

The panicked look was now on Emma's face as well as Killian's but before she could protest Snow was gone, leaving just the sound of Henry laughing behind her.

This time the quiet lasted for all of ten minutes before the doorbell rang again and Emma let out a groan. "Of course."

When she opens the door, Granny is on the other side.

"I brought you a present," she said, before Emma could speak, holding up a bottle of rum with a sparkle in her eye. "A … housewarming gift for the new… kitten."

Emma raised her eyebrows. "You brought my_ kitten _… spiced rum?"

"Well, I figure you'll give me a pass on the legal identification thing, since you're the sheriff?" Even as she spoke though, she glanced over Emma's shoulder and Emma laughed, opening the door to let her in. She watched as Granny went straight for Killian to pull him into a tight hug.

Killian's eyebrows shot up and he looked down at her appreciatively. "That was very enthusiastic, Lady Lucas," he commented with a laugh and Emma rolled her eyes as the lady gave him a smirk to rival his own.

"All right, Captain, I'll leave you to it, but first thing tomorrow morning you and I are sharing a dram at my bar, you hear me? Business has been terrible since you gave up your spot at my counter."

"Always happy to be of service," he replied, sincerely.

'Pirate the kitten' had a steady stream of visitors over the next hour or so, until Emma finally unplugged her doorbell and put up a sign on her door.

_Yes, he's here._

_No, you can't._

_Come back tomorrow. _

_Finally, _they had peace, and Emma only wanted to do one thing, curl up next to Killian and sleep. Possibly for weeks, but at least until noon. She and Killian said goodnight to Henry, and made their way upstairs, and settled into the bed for the night. She was about to warn Killian about Pirate's spot, but the kitten has beaten her to the punch. However, instead of settling at the back of her neck, as he usually preferred, he plopped down, and made himself comfortable, right between his human, and the invader. Killian tried to move him, so he could move closer to Emma, but Pirate batted him away. When he tried again, he was rewarded with a scratched arm.

"Bloody nuisance," he grumbled. Emma giggled but turned a sharp eye on the kitten.

"Pirate…" she pointed sternly at the cat bed sitting on the edge of her bed and he slinked over to it, giving her a look as though she had told him he was to sleep in the cold outside from now on. Curling up and with one last dirty look up at her, he laid down, back to her.

"I think I've offended the pirate, love," Killian commented, happily wrapping his arms around her and resting his chin on her shoulder as she snuggled back into his arms.

"He'll survive. You know, he's a-"

"Don't you dare-"

"Killian?"

"Hmm?"

"Promise me you'll still be here in the morning?"

"I swear it… Unless your wee demon sees fit to-"

"Don't even say it-" Emma hissed, jabbing him lightly with her elbow. "It's not funny."

Killian placed a kiss on her neck, reaching around to lace his fingers through hers. "Good night, Emma."

"Good night, pirate." She was asleep before he could ask her which one she was talking to.

He glanced down at the kitten at the end of the bed. Pirate had turned to face them again, his bright blue eyes glowing in the light from the window and watching Killian fixedly. Standing guard over his human, most likely.

"Thanks for looking out for her, Pirate," Killian murmured. "I guess maybe you're not so bad."

When Killian woke up the next morning he found a furball at the back of his neck, purring contentedly in his ear.

* * *

_**More pirate the kitten stories reblogged on my tumblr (gusenitsaa) with the tag ' pirate the kitten cs ff ' What do you think of emma's new pirate!?**_


	89. Let's Have Dinner

_**Let's have dinner: The Dark Swan texts Killian at night when she they can't sleep. Between the episodes style canon divergence between 5x02 and 5x03 partly inspired by BBC's Sherlock. **_

_**I don't think I ever posted the original text convo here on FF, but here's the extended version from Killian's perspective that a couple nonnies asked for! **_

* * *

_**Let's have Dinner: (Killian's POV):**_

His heart soared when he saw her name, and crumbled when he read her words.

**_Swan (6:13 pm): _**_You'll get used to it, Killian. And then you'll be back._

He had jumped when his phone buzzed, he was after all, not entirely used to the contraption, but now he could hardly peel his eyes from the message. It wasn't an apology, it wasn't a request for help. It wasn't _Emma_. It was the Dark Swan, playing with him. Again. And yet, he had found himself staring at the message for the better part of an hour arguing with himself about whether it was truly Emma or the Dark Swan on the other end. He resisted the urge to respond to her and finally dropped the phone back into his pocket.

When he looked up Belle was watching him with a sympathetic gaze.

"Her?" she asked quietly.

"Aye, more or less," he replied, taking another pull from his flask.

"She's still Emma," Belle said carefully. "There is hope. She still loves you…"

"She still _wants_ me," he spat. The words came out harsher than he intended and Belle dropped her eyes. "I'm sorry," he sighed before she could speak again. His phone buzzed again and he winced, but was unable to resist taking it from his pocket.

**_Swan (7:34 pm): _**_I'm not hungry, let's have dinner._

He set the device down on the bar, the message taunting him briefly before going dark again.

"Perhaps this is her way of reaching out," Belle suggested but Killian shook his head and was quiet for a time, his eyes glued to the dark screen.

"Why do you suppose she's contacting me? Not her parents, not her son?" Belle shook her head and he continued. "Because I'm weak," he grumbled bitterly. "Because I'm balanced on the precipice of the darkness already. One little push… One moment of weakness…" The screen lit up again.

**_Swan (7:36 pm): _**_Do you even know how to text me back? Just come._

"Will you go to her?" Belle asked.

He shook his head. "I can't."

* * *

_**Swan (8:23 pm):** Don't ignore me._

_**Swan (8:27 pm):** I might be tempted to do something naughty._

"What did she say?" David asked, sitting down in the spot Belle had left vacant some time ago.

Killian shook his head, "she's not herself, mate."

"And you think ignoring her, leaving her to fight this alone-"

"She doesn't want my _help, _David_._ She doesn't want anyone's help."

"What the hell happened in Camelot," David sighed, setting his own empty glass on the countertop in front of him.

"We failed," Killian replied, refilling the glass from his flask. David looked at it suspiciously for a moment or two then shrugged and lifted it to his lips with a grimace.

* * *

_**Swan (8:49 pm):** My rum is better than Granny's anyway._

_**Swan (8:56 pm):** Tell her that for me._

Killian's eyes shot to the door, lingering on what he could see of the street through the fogged up window. There was no sign of her but he got to his feet anyway. The street seemed chilled after the closeness of Granny's; chilled and too quiet. His eyes flicked one direction then the other and found it empty. With a heavy heart he walked in the direction of his ship, both yearning for and dreading the sound of the phone's next chime.

When he reached the ship he tossed the phone down into his cabin followed by his jacket and boots. He climbed onto the edge of the ship, his eyes fixed on the moon rising above the swells of the ocean. The Jolly rocked gently in the current and he dug the point of his hook into the wood of the ship to steady himself. For the first time in many years the sight of the ocean brought him little calm. Instead he felt lost, tossed about in its waves and barely staying afloat. He released a line overboard and stood, steadying himself against the rigging. Then with a final breath, he dove, plunging into the water below. The water closed over his head and for a moment blocked out all the sounds of the world above. _Finally,_ a moment of calm…

All too soon he surfaced again. The water was cold, but the leathers stuck to him like a second skin, allowing him to get accustomed to the chill as he treaded water with a practiced ease. He shook the water from his hair and swam a stroke or two back towards the ship, searching for the line by the light of the stars. When he found it he looped it around his hook to keep himself from drifting and kicked onto his back, floating alongside his ship. He wasn't sure how long he stayed like that, looking up and seeing nothing, trying desperately to quiet the cries of his mind in the swell of the sea.

Eventually he came to himself and noticed the path of the moon had reached its peak. Moreover the chill of the water was beginning to take its toll and he knew he'd have difficulty climbing back aboard if he remained much longer. With a sigh of resignation he tugged on the line, releasing the rope ladder that had been one of the first things he'd had to add to the Jolly when he sailed alone.

Back on deck he dragged himself to the captain's quarters, near stumbling down the ladder as his legs accustomed themselves to dry land again. He peeled off his wet clothes and hung them to dry on the ladder while he found a dry pair of pants. Jeans, Emma had called them. Highly impractical when wet, but a hell of a lot more convenient to climb into than leather when the skin is already damp. He caught sight of light from the floor where he'd discarded his phone, and his heart clenched. The dark swan was still toying with him. He hesitated only a moment before picking it up and glancing at the series of messages that she'd left while he'd been drowning his woes in the sea.

**_Swan (9:34 pm): _**_Have I ever told you how strangely sexy that hook is?_

**_Swan (9:47 pm): _**_And those pants…_

**_Swan (9:59 pm): _**_And that scruff…_

_**Swan (10:21 pm):** __Did you like my new dress today, pirate?_

He reread the messages again, then once more, swallowing hard. She must be getting desperate if she thought she could seduce him over the phone when she'd been unable to do so with her kiss. Still her words sent a bolt of desire through his body as he recalled the way she'd kissed him. She still tasted of Emma, kissed like Emma. The press of her hips as she teased him, the spark of amusement in her eyes, and something more…

He shook his head and forced himself to open the next set of messages.

_**Swan (10:41 pm)**: __Do you think this is going to 'fix' me, Hook?_

_**Swan (10:42 pm):** __I'm not broken!_

**_Swan (11:11 pm): _**_Why can't you just accept that this is me now?_

Finally, the games ceased. This is what she _really _wanted. Affirmation, that she could have both love and the darkness. That she could have him, and her power and her secrets and her family all at once.

_**Swan (11:58 pm):** __You're not even awake are you?_

She seemed to have given up after midnight and God, how he wanted to tell her that she wasn't alone. That he kept this vigil with her. Every minute of this interminable night was hers. The desperation, the sadness he imagined to be behind those final words finally broke his resolve, but no sooner had he decided to tell her that he'd not slept a moment since they returned from Camelot, his screen lit up again.

**_Swan (1:35 am): _**_You know you can hear the water from my new place?_

His heart shattered. More bloody games. He deleted the message he'd been about to send and sat up with a sigh. Another sleepless night. His nights were now spent mending sails and ropes, scrubbing decks, and repairing the damage of several lifetimes of wear.

**_Swan (2:09 am): _**_My place is too quiet, let's make some noise._

The Jolly Roger had never been in better shape. He'd re-painted and re-stained every inch of wood, the ship gleamed as it hadn't since Liam had captained her so many years ago.

**_Swan (2:42 am): _**_We can watch the stars together, or I can make you see stars?_

**_Swan (3:39 am): _**_Afraid you couldn't handle it?_

His jaw tightened in irritation. This thing… this dark one, that thought him so weak that he would give in at the first hint of innuendo from the woman he loved. And God, how he wanted to give in. So he started over; checking every inch of rope, every foot of sail and trying not to notice the occasional light from his phone that invariably brought him back to her. At this point he was fairly certain that he was doing more damage to the wood than he was good… Couldn't handle it? Of _course_ he couldn't handle it.

_**Swan (5:34 am):** __Bring me a hot chocolate when you come?_

Ice ran in his veins where he was certain there had once been blood. He'd done that before of course, brought her hot chocolate when she couldn't sleep. Spiked it with rum to warm her heart and help her rest. She'd sipped cocoa and rum, her head resting on his shoulder and they talked. Just… talked... until she dropped off to sleep and he'd carried her back to bed.

For the second time in this endless night he wondered if he was doing the right thing. Was he standing strong against the dark one or abandoning Emma when she needed him most? Was she manipulating him into asking just that question? Is that who she was now, a trickster, a manipulator like the dark one before her had been.

The sun was just beginning to rise over the horizon when the message came that broke him. The first red rays of dawn blurred in his eyes and he swallowed hard, trying to swallow the lump that seemed permanently lodged in his throat.

**_Swan (5:57 am): _**_Do you have any idea how lonely it is not sleeping?_

_**KJ (5:57 am):** __Yes._

He thought he might regret it the moment he hit send, but instead a weight lifted from his chest and for the first time all night he felt that he could breathe. If Emma was in there, she knew now… that she wasn't alone, that she was never alone. He thought she would text him back immediately, isn't this what she'd wanted? But his phone was silent. Finally he heard the chime from his pocket and he hesitated. What she said could give him false hope or crush his heart, did he dare look?

He was back on deck again, kidding himself into thinking that he was checking the lines in the light of the new dawn, but he was unlikely to find any wear that hadn't been there the last four times he'd checked. Finally he gave up the delusion the the lines needed any more tending, instead seeking out the fresh water stores in the hold, to rinse the long dried saltwater from his hair. After what seemed an eternity but was probably only a few minutes he finally gave in and pulled the phone from his pocket.

**_Swan (6:04 am): _**_You are not sleeping? For how long?_

_**Swan (6:16 am):** __Killian, please?_

_**KJ (6:17 am):** __You know how long. What do you want from me?_

**_Swan (6:17 am): _**_There was a time you promised me a future._

_**KJ (6:18 am):** __There was a time you wanted us to take the darkness out of you._

**_Swan (6:21 am): _**_It is no longer that simple._

_**KJ (6:21 am):** __Then explain it to me._

_**Swan (6:22 am):** __Can I come aboard?_

**_KJ (6:23 am): _**_Do I have a choice?_

_**Swan (6:23 am):** __Yes._

_**KJ (6:23 am):** __Then no._

He half expected for her to appear anyway but the minutes ticked by and the deck remained empty and silent save the cries of the seabirds searching for breakfast. There was a time he would have enjoyed trying to fluster her by having her arrive when he was half clothed. An old habit that often gave him the upper hand but now... with her. It didn't seem right. She was playing games with him, but he couldn't bring himself to do the same. Principle or exhaustion... he wasn't entirely certain which. He climbed down into his cabin and threw a dry tunic over his head before texting her back.

_**KJ (6:27 am):** __Fine, come aboard._

She arrived in a plume of grey that filled his cabin then vanished without a trace, leaving only her. It. She was still wearing that damned black dress and his fingers itched to run along the curve of her waist, to pull her close and rip the offending garment... his eyes flicked back to her face where the smallest of smirks had settled and his lust turned to nausea.

She stepped closer and reached for him, lacing her fingers through his damp hair curiously. He closed his eyes, savoring the brush of her fingers through his hair, just like Emma used to do, but the spell was broken when she spoke. "You fall overboard, Captain?"

"Do you still want the darkness out of you?"

She was quiet a moment, eyes watching him carefully. "Do you trust me?" she asked. He closed his eyes and leaned forward, resting his forehead against hers for a moment before pulling away.

"I don't know."

Anger flashed through her eyes. "I did this for _you_," she seethed.

"I begged you not to," he retorted and her eyes widened in surprise.

"What... what do you mean?"

"I begged you not to tie yourself to the dagger." He pulled away and her hand fell limp to her side. "I didn't ask you how this happened, I didn't ask you how you planned on fixing it. I asked you if you truly believe there is nothing to fix. Please," his voice broke and he took a breath. He knew he shouldn't show such weakness in front of the dark one, but if any part of Emma was left inside this creature, his pride was not too steep a cost to see her again. "Please, Emma," he repeated, "do you truly want the darkness, is that why you won't let us help you?"

Her gaze softened, shifted so slightly he wasn't entirely certain he had seen it at all until she spoke.

"I still want it gone," she admitted finally.

Relief made him near giddy for a moment and he moved, pressing her up against the wall of the cabin in two strides, his hand and hook pressed into the wall on either side of her shoulders, his lips demanding and begging all at once. He could feel her smile, her hands slipping under his lose shirt and locking him to her. Then, as soon as it had come the relief was gone. It _still_ didn't work. His kiss couldn't break her curse, even when she _wanted_ it to. His arms fell to his sides again but she didn't release him. Her name came out on a groan as her hands began to wander, tracing the muscles of his back with sharp nails.

"Then why?" he finally got out, "why doesn't it bloody work. And why won't you let me help you?"

Her eyes fluttered open and he caught a look there that he couldn't quite place before the icy mask fell into place again. "Just stay out of my way, Killian. You can not help me." Grey smoke filled his cabin again and when it cleared Emma was alone again in the home that Killian had no memory of choosing for them.


End file.
